=Don't Die Jean! =
AN: I was really, REALLY surprised that people actually read my last chapter (let alone review). It (like all my other ideas) started at school. I'd finished my maths test early and decided to scribble some random things on a pad. The world works in odd ways. . .
Disclaimer ~ I. . . wait, hang on a sec. *searches pockets* I know I've written an amusing disclaimer somewhere here. . . nope, sorry folks.
Rubber Duki does not and will never own the X-men characters.
*****
*Location ~ Acolytes HQ*
Pyro was balancing uncertainly on several stacked chairs, struggling to get a peek through a window. The tower of furniture wobbled threateningly as John cranked his neck as high as he could. . .
"What's dat you're doing?"
The four chairs, one after the other, toppled as Pyro jumped a little in surprise. He tumbled into some unpleasant looking rose bushes.
"Rubbing my sore ass. What does it look like?" John replied, rubbing his sore ass and in the same time trying to get the thorns out.
"Non, Remy meant what are you doing standing on all zose chairs?"
"If I tell you then you'll go tattling to Magneto."
"Remy won't do that!"
"You did last time!"
"Dat was because you set my trench coat on fire!"
"Oh! And heaven forbid we destroy that piece of fangirl worshipped trenchcoat!"
"It's dat coat dat supports the popularity marks of us Acolytes!"
"Hey! I got fans too!"
"Wow! All those exclamation marks you two are using must mean that you're really mad and serious!"
Remy and John turned to find Sabertooth standing beside them.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that? I just wanted to join the conversation!" Sabertooth shrugged before walking away.
"Now where were we?"
"Remy just wanted to know what you were doing."
"Why didn't you just say so?"
"I did! But you- "
"If you must know," Pyro cut in "I was trying to see what Magneto was up to. Haven't you noticed that he seems to be spending a lot of time in his study these past few weeks?"
Remy reached out to rub his goatee, only to remember reading some magazine article about rubbing it too much and it'll go bald. And Remy definitely did not want to lose his goatee. In his mind that'll be a terrible tragedy. He'll lose his fans, be kicked out of the Acolytes, forced to live on the streets, chased by anti-mutant mobs. . . how incredibly sad and angsty that'll be. . . perhaps it could become a promising fanfic? Maybe about what happens if Remy lost his goatee, a humorous adventure with. . . shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!
Ok, I'm better now. That had nothing to do with anything did it? So moving on. . .
Remy rubbed his goatee, ignoring the author's random babbling "Gambit does t'ink Magneto has been too long in the study. What does he do?"
Pyro waved his hands in the air "I don't know! I have no idea! He covered the window with newspaper! And I also don't know why there are so many exclamation marks in this paragraph!"
Remy gives Pyro a I-think-you're-crazy-oh-wait-I-already-know-you're-crazy look. "Who knows? Maybe Magneto has a girlfriend?"
There's a long pause while they look at each other before ~ "Hahahahahaha. . . Magneto has a girlfriend. . . that's a good one."
*Meanwhile*
Magneto viewed the scene outside his study from a surveillance camera. He sighed and shook his head when he saw Gambit giggle like a schoolgirl. Just as he was making a note on his day-planner about giving Gambit laughing lessons, the phone rang. . .
Mags ~ "Hello? Acolytes HQ. Doom is our business and we do business at a great price."
Jean ~ "I'm on my way. Be there in 30 seconds."
Mags ~ "Ok, but enter carefully this time, John and Remy are outside my study."
Jean ~ "Understood. Bye." She hung up the phone as Magneto opened his skylight.
As predicted, 30seconds later the X-van flew over the gate. Yes you read right, flew. As in fly . . .y'know. . . Because the gate was closed? And jean was in a hurry. . . I should think my sentences through before I type them shouldn't I?
Yeah, well, Jean lifted herself along with the bag into Magneto's study with the use of her powers.
"You really need some new lackeys Mags." Jean said as she proceeded to sit down on a chair, dropping the bag beside her feet.
"Why?" Magneto was puzzled, not that he didn't think she was right (Oh the numerous times he'd wondered if those were the best help he could get). It came as a surprise to him that Jean would be so blunt.
"Because when I accidentally dropped this," She pointed at her bag "Almost right in front of Gambit, he didn't even notice. He just kept on muttering about someone having a girl and laughing." She shrugged "I'm sorry to say this Mags, but you don't pick your watchdogs very well."
Magneto blinked stupidly for several seconds, quite possibly because it'd seemed that Jean had just insulted him. . . or maybe (just maybe) because the author could not think of an interesting and amusing way for him to respond. (Which ever reason you prefer)
Jean opened the bag she had so lovingly dragged around for the past two hours, revealing the contents to be. . . spoons. . . "So are we gonna bend spoons or not?"
~~~~~~
Back at the manor, Scott was enjoying a bowl of cereal. Even if it WAS the afternoon. . . he liked cereal ok? Right at that moment however, the cereal had trouble reaching his mouth, as the utensil he was using was bent grossly out of shape.
Scott was feeling happy, he'd just caught the person who pinned the note to his back and had made sure he'll receive double danger room sessions for the next couple of weeks.
'Yep, life's good' he thought as he absentmindedly splashed milk onto his glasses. 'Well, life would be good if I could find a straight spoon to eat with.'
(AN: I lied, Scott doesn't particularly like cereal. I just wanted someone to use a spoon. It's not wrong is it?)
It was at that moment when a large silver orb landed within the manor grounds. The orb opened and Jean stumbled out.
"Stupid Magneto and his stupid leaky fuel line. . ." Jean muttered as she glanced down at her motor oil-stained blouse. "He should really fix his machines before he offers rides home." (What? Do you expect Magneto to REALLY power the orbs by himself? It's a bloody flying machine I tell ya)
Anyways, having heard the orb land, Scott rushed outside to (what he thought) was a bloodstained Jean (y'know, ruby sunglasses. It's murder when you're trying to tell one color from another).
"JEAN!" Scott stumbled and tripped on a step. . . but that's not important because he got right up again and ran towards Jean. "JEAN! Are you hurt? You're not dying are you?"
"No and get off me you- -"
Scott wasn't listening "Oh no!" He looked like he was about to cry "You can't die Jean!" he paused "You still owe me money."
Sad violin music played in the background.
"MR LOGAN!! BOBBY'S PLAYING STUFF ON THE STEREO AGAIN!" Someone yelled, and the music abruptly stopped.
Jean rolled her eyes. "Shut up Scott, it's motor oil."
Scott wiped a bit of oil off with his finger and sniffed it "Oh."
"And did you seriously think that I could die? I mean come'on I'm a main Xmen character. The creators'll never let me die. Sheesh."
Scott thought for awhile before smiling "Yeah, you're right. It's not like they're going to pretend to kill you then reborn you numerous times as 'Phoenix' or something."
The two laughed at the ridiculous suggestion.
"So where were you? And where's the X-van?"
"I was bending spoons with Magneto. But don't worry, I'll never be doing that again."
Scott took this in as if she'd just said that she's been to the mall. "So why aren't you ever bending spoons with him again?"
"Let's put it this way. Would you compete with someone who constantly cheats, is a sore loser and is prone to dishing death threats?"
"Uh. . . no? I'd never enter a contest with someone like that."
Jean raised an eyebrow and sighed "Really? Well neither would he."
"So what did you do?"
"I stole a whole bunch of plastic spoons, spray painted it silver and gave it to Mags."
"Oh."
"On the bright side. I was winning before he kicked me out, too bad he kinda squashed the X-van."
"Oh." Scott blinked "So where did you get all the plastic spoons from?"
***** Two hours ago. Location ~ a fast food outlet in Bayville *****
Lance Alvers was sitting on a stool behind the counter. He'd finally managed to get away from the brotherhood for a little while and for once was enjoying an early lunch by himself.
Just as Lance was about to take a final bit out of his burger, an agitated waiter came out from the kitchen.
"Someone's taken all the spoons! They just suddenly started to float out the window!" The waiter said to the waitress who working behind the counter. He made no attempt to keep his voice down and within seconds everyone was staring at Lance.
"Hey! Aren't you a mutie?" Someone called out from the back.
The waiter acknowledged that statement and advanced up to where Lance was sitting. "Did you have anything to do with it?"
Lance just glared "Oh yeah, I used my superspeed and ran to the back where I then telekinetically took all the spoons before returning here to look innocent." He replied sarcastically "And by taking all the spoons I shall begin the first phase of my plan to take over the world."
The waiter stared Lance down for a few seconds before "I knew it! A confession!" He gestured to someone at the back of the restaurant "Take him away. I have all of what he'd just said on tape."
Lance's eyes widened as two built biker-dudes came up and grabbed him "Wait! That wasn't a confession! I was being sarcastic!" He yelled as he was being forcibly pulled outside "My powers cause earthquakes! I don't have superspeed OR telekinesis! Watch." His eyes rolled back as he caused a tremor that leveled the building.
"That wasn't good was it." Lance muttered to the two men who accompanied him.
"Nope."
***** Back to the present. *****
"Trust me, you don't need to know. . . " Jean replied to Scott's question.
*******
Yeah, you asked for another bit of my randomness, so here ya go. I won't be able to update either of my Fanfics much for the next two weeks due to the fact that I have three projects I need to hand in. . . not to mention try and find out who died in the new HP book (I'm not a fan of HP. I just want to know who dies)
-Rubber Duki
Next time ~ does this story finally get a plot? *No* Where's Lance? *In jail* How would the brotherhood get him out? *Shrugs* Would I cause more people to fall on their ass? *Yeah* Can you stop answering the questions? *Ok*
AN: I was really, REALLY surprised that people actually read my last chapter (let alone review). It (like all my other ideas) started at school. I'd finished my maths test early and decided to scribble some random things on a pad. The world works in odd ways. . .
Disclaimer ~ I. . . wait, hang on a sec. *searches pockets* I know I've written an amusing disclaimer somewhere here. . . nope, sorry folks.
Rubber Duki does not and will never own the X-men characters.
*****
*Location ~ Acolytes HQ*
Pyro was balancing uncertainly on several stacked chairs, struggling to get a peek through a window. The tower of furniture wobbled threateningly as John cranked his neck as high as he could. . .
"What's dat you're doing?"
The four chairs, one after the other, toppled as Pyro jumped a little in surprise. He tumbled into some unpleasant looking rose bushes.
"Rubbing my sore ass. What does it look like?" John replied, rubbing his sore ass and in the same time trying to get the thorns out.
"Non, Remy meant what are you doing standing on all zose chairs?"
"If I tell you then you'll go tattling to Magneto."
"Remy won't do that!"
"You did last time!"
"Dat was because you set my trench coat on fire!"
"Oh! And heaven forbid we destroy that piece of fangirl worshipped trenchcoat!"
"It's dat coat dat supports the popularity marks of us Acolytes!"
"Hey! I got fans too!"
"Wow! All those exclamation marks you two are using must mean that you're really mad and serious!"
Remy and John turned to find Sabertooth standing beside them.
"What? Why are you looking at me like that? I just wanted to join the conversation!" Sabertooth shrugged before walking away.
"Now where were we?"
"Remy just wanted to know what you were doing."
"Why didn't you just say so?"
"I did! But you- "
"If you must know," Pyro cut in "I was trying to see what Magneto was up to. Haven't you noticed that he seems to be spending a lot of time in his study these past few weeks?"
Remy reached out to rub his goatee, only to remember reading some magazine article about rubbing it too much and it'll go bald. And Remy definitely did not want to lose his goatee. In his mind that'll be a terrible tragedy. He'll lose his fans, be kicked out of the Acolytes, forced to live on the streets, chased by anti-mutant mobs. . . how incredibly sad and angsty that'll be. . . perhaps it could become a promising fanfic? Maybe about what happens if Remy lost his goatee, a humorous adventure with. . . shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!
Ok, I'm better now. That had nothing to do with anything did it? So moving on. . .
Remy rubbed his goatee, ignoring the author's random babbling "Gambit does t'ink Magneto has been too long in the study. What does he do?"
Pyro waved his hands in the air "I don't know! I have no idea! He covered the window with newspaper! And I also don't know why there are so many exclamation marks in this paragraph!"
Remy gives Pyro a I-think-you're-crazy-oh-wait-I-already-know-you're-crazy look. "Who knows? Maybe Magneto has a girlfriend?"
There's a long pause while they look at each other before ~ "Hahahahahaha. . . Magneto has a girlfriend. . . that's a good one."
*Meanwhile*
Magneto viewed the scene outside his study from a surveillance camera. He sighed and shook his head when he saw Gambit giggle like a schoolgirl. Just as he was making a note on his day-planner about giving Gambit laughing lessons, the phone rang. . .
Mags ~ "Hello? Acolytes HQ. Doom is our business and we do business at a great price."
Jean ~ "I'm on my way. Be there in 30 seconds."
Mags ~ "Ok, but enter carefully this time, John and Remy are outside my study."
Jean ~ "Understood. Bye." She hung up the phone as Magneto opened his skylight.
As predicted, 30seconds later the X-van flew over the gate. Yes you read right, flew. As in fly . . .y'know. . . Because the gate was closed? And jean was in a hurry. . . I should think my sentences through before I type them shouldn't I?
Yeah, well, Jean lifted herself along with the bag into Magneto's study with the use of her powers.
"You really need some new lackeys Mags." Jean said as she proceeded to sit down on a chair, dropping the bag beside her feet.
"Why?" Magneto was puzzled, not that he didn't think she was right (Oh the numerous times he'd wondered if those were the best help he could get). It came as a surprise to him that Jean would be so blunt.
"Because when I accidentally dropped this," She pointed at her bag "Almost right in front of Gambit, he didn't even notice. He just kept on muttering about someone having a girl and laughing." She shrugged "I'm sorry to say this Mags, but you don't pick your watchdogs very well."
Magneto blinked stupidly for several seconds, quite possibly because it'd seemed that Jean had just insulted him. . . or maybe (just maybe) because the author could not think of an interesting and amusing way for him to respond. (Which ever reason you prefer)
Jean opened the bag she had so lovingly dragged around for the past two hours, revealing the contents to be. . . spoons. . . "So are we gonna bend spoons or not?"
~~~~~~
Back at the manor, Scott was enjoying a bowl of cereal. Even if it WAS the afternoon. . . he liked cereal ok? Right at that moment however, the cereal had trouble reaching his mouth, as the utensil he was using was bent grossly out of shape.
Scott was feeling happy, he'd just caught the person who pinned the note to his back and had made sure he'll receive double danger room sessions for the next couple of weeks.
'Yep, life's good' he thought as he absentmindedly splashed milk onto his glasses. 'Well, life would be good if I could find a straight spoon to eat with.'
(AN: I lied, Scott doesn't particularly like cereal. I just wanted someone to use a spoon. It's not wrong is it?)
It was at that moment when a large silver orb landed within the manor grounds. The orb opened and Jean stumbled out.
"Stupid Magneto and his stupid leaky fuel line. . ." Jean muttered as she glanced down at her motor oil-stained blouse. "He should really fix his machines before he offers rides home." (What? Do you expect Magneto to REALLY power the orbs by himself? It's a bloody flying machine I tell ya)
Anyways, having heard the orb land, Scott rushed outside to (what he thought) was a bloodstained Jean (y'know, ruby sunglasses. It's murder when you're trying to tell one color from another).
"JEAN!" Scott stumbled and tripped on a step. . . but that's not important because he got right up again and ran towards Jean. "JEAN! Are you hurt? You're not dying are you?"
"No and get off me you- -"
Scott wasn't listening "Oh no!" He looked like he was about to cry "You can't die Jean!" he paused "You still owe me money."
Sad violin music played in the background.
"MR LOGAN!! BOBBY'S PLAYING STUFF ON THE STEREO AGAIN!" Someone yelled, and the music abruptly stopped.
Jean rolled her eyes. "Shut up Scott, it's motor oil."
Scott wiped a bit of oil off with his finger and sniffed it "Oh."
"And did you seriously think that I could die? I mean come'on I'm a main Xmen character. The creators'll never let me die. Sheesh."
Scott thought for awhile before smiling "Yeah, you're right. It's not like they're going to pretend to kill you then reborn you numerous times as 'Phoenix' or something."
The two laughed at the ridiculous suggestion.
"So where were you? And where's the X-van?"
"I was bending spoons with Magneto. But don't worry, I'll never be doing that again."
Scott took this in as if she'd just said that she's been to the mall. "So why aren't you ever bending spoons with him again?"
"Let's put it this way. Would you compete with someone who constantly cheats, is a sore loser and is prone to dishing death threats?"
"Uh. . . no? I'd never enter a contest with someone like that."
Jean raised an eyebrow and sighed "Really? Well neither would he."
"So what did you do?"
"I stole a whole bunch of plastic spoons, spray painted it silver and gave it to Mags."
"Oh."
"On the bright side. I was winning before he kicked me out, too bad he kinda squashed the X-van."
"Oh." Scott blinked "So where did you get all the plastic spoons from?"
***** Two hours ago. Location ~ a fast food outlet in Bayville *****
Lance Alvers was sitting on a stool behind the counter. He'd finally managed to get away from the brotherhood for a little while and for once was enjoying an early lunch by himself.
Just as Lance was about to take a final bit out of his burger, an agitated waiter came out from the kitchen.
"Someone's taken all the spoons! They just suddenly started to float out the window!" The waiter said to the waitress who working behind the counter. He made no attempt to keep his voice down and within seconds everyone was staring at Lance.
"Hey! Aren't you a mutie?" Someone called out from the back.
The waiter acknowledged that statement and advanced up to where Lance was sitting. "Did you have anything to do with it?"
Lance just glared "Oh yeah, I used my superspeed and ran to the back where I then telekinetically took all the spoons before returning here to look innocent." He replied sarcastically "And by taking all the spoons I shall begin the first phase of my plan to take over the world."
The waiter stared Lance down for a few seconds before "I knew it! A confession!" He gestured to someone at the back of the restaurant "Take him away. I have all of what he'd just said on tape."
Lance's eyes widened as two built biker-dudes came up and grabbed him "Wait! That wasn't a confession! I was being sarcastic!" He yelled as he was being forcibly pulled outside "My powers cause earthquakes! I don't have superspeed OR telekinesis! Watch." His eyes rolled back as he caused a tremor that leveled the building.
"That wasn't good was it." Lance muttered to the two men who accompanied him.
"Nope."
***** Back to the present. *****
"Trust me, you don't need to know. . . " Jean replied to Scott's question.
*******
Yeah, you asked for another bit of my randomness, so here ya go. I won't be able to update either of my Fanfics much for the next two weeks due to the fact that I have three projects I need to hand in. . . not to mention try and find out who died in the new HP book (I'm not a fan of HP. I just want to know who dies)
-Rubber Duki
Next time ~ does this story finally get a plot? *No* Where's Lance? *In jail* How would the brotherhood get him out? *Shrugs* Would I cause more people to fall on their ass? *Yeah* Can you stop answering the questions? *Ok*