Requiem for a Loud: memories don't die
By Sean Rudin
Based upon Requiem for a Loud by UnderatedHero
Prologue
Lincoln is in intensive care, he had already said goodbye to all his sisters. Despite everything that his mother is next to his bed, he felt very alone. But he gets an idea.
"mom, can i use your phone really quickly?"
Rita gave it to him without even asking what he needed it for.
Lincoln looked for the group chat that all his siblings shared, and with his free hand, he took the phone to his mouth to record a short voice message.
"Hey guys, it's me. i just… wanted to remind you that i love you. very, very much," he simply said, sending it right away.
In a matter of seconds, voice messages from all his sisters started to come in.
"A-and we love you too, Linky! you're the best! "you'll be in my heart, always."
"Lincoln, we all love you. that's never going to change."
"T love you more!"
"Thanks, Lincoln… me too."
"We love you, Linky!"
"Y-you're the best brother in the world! i love you with all my heart, linc."
"You'll always be the best thing we've ever had."
"T-the sentiment is mutual. thank you for this message. i-i needed it."
Lincoln smiled at the sound of their voices. he wished he could have them by his side. that way, maybe the wait wouldn't be so bad.
"Could you play them back?"
He asked his mother.
He closed his eyes as he listened to his sister's messages again and again. As the audios looped, he would close his eyes and picture them in his mind. He could clearly see their faces, every little detail clear as water. Their hair, their freckles, their eyelashes, their makeup, their smiles, their eyes, their lips, the expressions he could imagine them having, judging by the inflections on their voices.
Focusing on her words, it really felt like they were beside him. And thus, eventually, his tiredness and stress managed to take over him, and Lincoln loud surrendered himself to one quiet, peaceful slumber, held by the hand by his mother, with the voices and memories of his sisters, his loved ones, reminding him how much they loved him.
A quiet, peaceful slumber from which he never woke up.
Chapter One: An Unexpected Visit
Some people like small families, some like big families, some like being alone.
It's evening in New York. Not much going on in an apartment in Brooklyn on a Sunday night.
The living room is not brightly lit, just so bright that you can see everything important. Music comes from the tv, a German opera. On the small table in front of the brown leather sofa is a model railroad car. Red with white ribbon windows, scissor pantographs, four-part folding doors and a small engine driver in the driver's cab. The table is made of a dark oak wood and there is other dark wood furniture in this living room. There are other model railways in showcases, mainly based on the Swiss model. There are many books on the shelves. If you didn't know who owns this apartment, you would think a 70-year-old man lives here. The opposite is the case. 26-year-old Lily enters the living room. She is wearing a violet sweater and a violet short skirt. Nylon stockings go over her knees. She still wears black leather shoes, which make a distinctive noise when walking, She looks at the large, mechanical pendulum clock, which is driven by weights and has a mahogany case. It shows 19:23. Lily sits on the sofa, takes a screwdriver, turns the model train on its side and unscrews it.
"I knew it was the motor brushes."
She took out two black parts from the electric motor that seemed pretty worn. She takes two other parts that looked very new and put them in the engine.
"Now you won't cause any more problems," she said, without showing a trace of emotion.
She puts the model back together. When she's finished, she hears her favorite opera begin. The Flying Dutchman by Richard Wagner. An impressive composer. She gets up and starts singing along.
Jüngster Tag!
Wann brichst du an in meine Nacht?
Wann dröhnt er, der Vernichtungs-Schlag,
mit dem die Welt zusammenkracht?
Wann alle Toten auferstehn,
dann werde ich in Nichts vergehn!
Ihr Welten, endet euren Lauf!
Ew'ge Vernichtung, nimm mich auf!
(Judgment Day!
When do you break into my night?
When will it roar, the devastating blow,
with which the world collides?
When all the dead rise
then I will perish into nothing!
Ye worlds, end your course!
Eternal annihilation, take me up!)
But her singing is interrupted when her phone rings. She turns the music down and answers the phone.
„Lily Loud."
"Hello Lieutenant Commander Loud, this is Admiral Archer.""Is there anything I can do for you Sir?"
"Yes there is something. You have been assigned to a new ship, the Enterprise."
"Enterprise will be commissioned as early as next week. This is very short notice Admiral. Is the manpower shortage that high?"
"No, not at all," laughed Admiral Archer "although they were specifically requested, commander."
"With all due respect sir, I must remind you that I have the rank of lieutenant commander, not commander."
"I still admire your accuracy, Loud. You've been promoted, you're commander now. I had you in mind for sister ship Yamato as first mate. But after urgent requests from the Enterprise's captain, I think the Enterprise is the best place for you."
"Who is the captain of the Enterprise?"
"I'll surprise you. She will come to your house tomorrow. I think you know her very well."
"Sir, may I speak frankly?"
"You may."
"Sir, there are many officers who are more accomplished and experienced than I am. Why do you think I am suited to be the Enterprise's first officer?"
"Why? Why am I picking a very young officer who has only served 8 years in the Navy and appointing her first officer on the US flagship? Oh, I know, because you are an officer who can act logically in the most difficult of situations. Because You are an officer who possesses talents that anyone in the Navy would need but are far too rare."
"You think a lot of me Admiral. So tomorrow the commando-codes will be handed over to me."
"Exactly. Tomorrow the captain will come to you. You know them. They will be the best officers for the last enterprise."
"The last enterprise?"
"Yes, the last one. The peace negotiations with Russia also have military goals. The Enterprise and the Yamato will be the last aircraft carriers. When I spoke to Admiral Sintnikov, he said that they were only putting 2 more into service. That's Mikhail Gorbachev currently on a test run with the admiral and the Konstantin Tsiolkovsky is in the final stages of construction. The admiral showed me pictures of the Mikhail Gorbachev, a beautiful ship. Among other things, you will also be conducting exercises with Admiral Sintnikov. The United Nations have proposed these And I like the idea too."
"I can imagine that. I think it's time to make peace with Russia."
"So tomorrow you will be instructed in the command functions. I wish you a nice evening."
"Thank you Admiral."
Lily hangs up. The Enterprise, the flagship of the USA. She had already seen the enterprise in dry dock 8 months ago. A rather chubby construction, a floating fortress.
She picked up the tv remote control and turned the music volume back up.Her last command was a prototype destroyer, named Edison. As it turned out, this prototype was very unreliable. The hull kept breaking down and was very unstable at high speeds. In addition, there was always a constant vibration, which was very annoying for the team. They almost caused an accident trying to avoid a bigger wave.
Nevertheless, she liked to think back to the time on the Edison, the team had developed into a family in the 7 months.
The phone rang again. Did Admiral Archer forget to say something? She turned the music down again and took the call.
"Lily Loud."
"Hello Aunt Lily, this is Lorraine."
It was Lorraine Santiago, the daughter of Lori and Bobby.
"Hello Lorraine."
"I don't want to bother you, but how was the composition of a standard 4 Interregio train of the sbb again?"
Lorraine was also fascinated by the railway like Lily. A hobby that connected the two very much.
"It's easy, these wagons are coupled to an Re 460 in the following order: AS, A, B, B, Bt. In addition, there is a booster module consisting of A, B, Bt at peak times. Was that helpful?"
"It was very helpful. When is the next model railway exhibition?"
"Unfortunately, I have to tell you that I won't be available for the next few months. I have to return to my service in the Navy."
"Like mom. She had to go back to the navy yesterday too."
"I'll find an alternative. Before I forget, I sent you the model of the RBS NExT in the mail. I found it in the basement and I don't have the equipment for it. I hope you like it."
"Your NExT? The one on a scale of 1:22.5? You built it yourself. Why are you giving it to me?"
"You know, I like this model. But I just have it standing around. I think you'll make it drive again. Did I tell you how I built it?"
„No."
"Well, it was in the spring of 16 years ago and I was watching TV."
10-year-old Lily sits on the couch in front of the television in the living room of the loud house. She is wearing a purple sweater and a short purple skirt. She wears black shoes and light purple stockings.
Orange trains are on TV, which have the abbreviation RBS applied in white letters.
"I found this train very beautiful. I had to immortalize it in a model"
16-year-old Lola enters the living room and sits down next to Lily on the couch.
"What are you looking at?"
"This is a documentary about the railway company Regionalverkehr Bern Solothurn."
"Regional what? I don't quite follow you. In any case, I don't think that orange is pretty."
"It's a matter of taste. I think it's very nice."
Lily pulled out her phone and googled the term, RBS NExT. She found a few results and one caught her eye immediately. Someone had published the blueprint for a model.
"I went straight to my room and immediately started ordering the parts I needed. 6 months later I was done."
Lily is walking in the garden on a sunny autumn afternoon. In her hand she holds the last wagon she needed. She put him on the track, coupled the carriage to the other two and took out her mobile phone.
"So I only have to program the address. The NExT has the number 24, so it gets the address 24."
Lily entered the command on her cell phone and the train jerked briefly. She now turned on the throttle and the train started to move. However, there was still no trace of emotion on her face.
Lana came into the garden. She saw the train making its rounds. Then she walked towards lily.
"You finished. He looks good."
"Thank you."
"Lincoln would have liked that. He didn't build trains, but spaceships."
"I agree."
"In winter I was at an exhibition and my model caused a great stir."
"A great story Aunt Lily."
"Then you know how much I appreciate you."
"I am honored to own this model."
"It's getting late. I have to go to bed. And you too, young lady."
"OK. Bye Aunt Lily."
"Bye Lorraine."
Lily hangs up again. After the confusing message from Admiral Archer, Lorraine's call was very relaxing. Relaxing, could you call it relaxing? Lily has emotions, but she is so in control of them that one might think she has none.
It has always been like this. She has had her emotions under control since she was 3 years old. On her 5th birthday, Pop-Pop tried to surprise her with a present. Even then, everyone tried to trigger one of their emotions. Lucy, for example, had been trying to scare her for over 4 years. Her plans ranged from simple things like spider webs in her doorframe to attacks by Lucy's bat colonies.
Luan also took on the challenge of scaring Lily. Throwing cream cakes in her face is impossible. Her reflexes are so good that she only needs to hear the rushing of an object to intercept it. Since she had to share a room with Lisa until she was 7 years old, she had prepared for all dangers.
Lily turns the music up again.
A beautiful aria fills the room.
Lily tried to compete in a talent show as an opera singer when she was 16. The jury told her it lacked a personal touch. Even though Luna said Lily had a personal touch, the jury was right. Lily always focused on imitating the singers as closely as possible, which of course didn't allow for a personal touch.
Well, it wasn't Luna singing, it was Lily. And Lily never had such a great musical talent.
Lily had taken some of each sister's talent and perfected it. She was quite good at everything, individually she was average.
Something her sisters had that Lily would never have because it no longer exists: Lincoln.
Lincoln, her only brother. He died when she was 15 months old. Because of a brain tumor.
It wasn't that she didn't love him, but how could she love something that she has no memories, no experiences and no reference to?
She often wondered what her brother was like. Due to her emotionless nature and because she has no memories of him, her questions always came across as heartless and brutal. That's why she didn't ask any more questions because it always hurt her sisters' feelings, she thought.
Even if she had no emotions, she didn't want to hurt those of her sisters.
Lynn in particular. Lynn had had a very close bond with Lincoln.
Protecting her sisters and not knowing anything about her brother. That was a price worth it.
One thing she was sure she felt, though, was tiredness. She goes to her bedroom, puts on her pajamas and lies down on her bed.
Although her uniform is out of date, Lily puts it on. She buttons her shirt and puts on her hat.
Then she waits. Until the doorbell rang. She opens them and recognizes someone familiar.
"You are the captain of the Enterprise? Congratulations."
Lori Entering Lily's apartment, she is wearing a uniform and is carrying her cap under her arm.
"Sister you should know that I get everything I want, The best ship with the best weapons with the best officers. Does that really surprise you?"
"But you should also know that nothing can surprise, amaze, frighten, delight, frighten or make me happy."
"I know that, you don't have an emotion chip yet"
"Is that a reference to Star Trek The Next Generation?"
"Yes, and you are the perfect officer for our enterprise. Shall we start?"
"Yes, sit on the couch. Can I get you something? Tea, earl grey, hot?"
Lori laughed, "I understand, like Jean-Luc Picard, I am more like Kathrin Janeway, black coffee."
Lily comes out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee. She puts the cup on the table.
"So, the command codes. Here they are."
Lori pulls a small red plastic envelope out of a small briefcase. She gives them to Lily.
"You have to break it open."
"I know."
Lily takes a lighter out of her pocket and puts it on her lap. She takes the red plastic cover in 2 hands and breaks it open. Then it breaks into two parts. She takes out a piece of paper and reads it very carefully. She takes the lighter and lights the paper. An empty and clean ashtray lies on the small table and burns it over it. Then she looks at Lori. She nodded silently.
"And those are the codes we never want to use."
Lori gives Lily a black plastic case. Lily breaks this open as well and takes out the piece of paper. She reads it carefully too. Then burn this note over the ashtray too.
"You must change these codes when you are on the Enterprise. They are for verification only, if you enter the first code you must also change the other two to ensure everything is secure."
Lori takes a cigarette out of her breast pocket and lights it.
"I get goosebumps just thinking about the existence of these codes"
"That is understandable."
The smoke from Lori's cigarette floats around the room almost hypnotically. An awkward silence falls.
"Lorraine called yesterday."
"Has she?" Lori takes another drag on her cigarette. "And what did she want?"
"She asked about the carriage composition of a train."
"I wish I had a hobby that connects me so much with Lorraine."
"You're her mother, you don't have to have the same hobbies."
"You're right, but sometimes I have the feeling that I don't spend enough time with her. And now I'm going on the Enterprise. I won't see her for months."
"Calm down. Lorraine is lucky to have a mother like you."
"How do I mean that? You're the captain of the US flagship. You command the most powerful ship in the world alongside the Russian Mikhail Gorbachev and the English Illustrious. Look, you're 41 years old and you're already in such a high position. Lorraine lucky to have a mother like you."
"You're right. But every second that passes I don't get it back, do you understand?"
"I guess so."
"It was the same with Lincoln."
Did she just mention Lincoln? It was rather unusual for someone to talk to her about Lincoln. She didn't know what would happen now, she only knew one thing, she had to be very careful with it. Lori and the other sisters are very sensitive to this.
"The same with Lincoln?"
"You don't know, but Lincoln tried to spend a lot of time with all of us before... you know. He tried everything, even spending time with his friends. He even had a relationship with Ronnie Anne."
"Ronnie Anne? I didn't know he was dating her."
"But that's how it was. Ronnie Anne was in a really bad way. I tried to comfort her and in the end bobby had to comfort both of us. That's how Ronnie Anne became a permanent part of our family."
Some pain is mild, one can endure it consciously, and other pain is so severe that not even morphine will help. But the worst pain is when a loved one passes away.
Rita is in Lincoln's intensive care unit. She holds his hand and looks at him. She ignores the monitor showing his heart rate. She doesn't want to know when it will happen.
When the monitor showed the number zero, her feelings were torn apart.
That's why she ignored Doctor House and a nurse who entered the room. The nurse held a clipboard with several papers and files, and in her other hand a pen.
Doctor House feels the artery in Lincoln's neck. He looks at his watch. And looks at the nurse.
"Write in the log, death occurred at 7:17 p.m." he looks over at Rita,"I'm sorry."
Doctor House leaves the room with the nurse. When he entered the waiting room and saw the faces of the father and the sisters, he knew he didn't have to say anything because his eyes said everything. As a doctor, he should have emotional distance to his patients and their families, but the expression on these faces made him curse the whole situation inside. He left the waiting room.
"I was in a kind of trance. It all felt like a goddamn dream."
Lori got up. She walked through the door and left the waiting room. Her eyes were fixed on the floor, blindly she walked down the corridor in the hospital. She reached the exit. She walked across the parking lot and didn't pay attention when a car came, she didn't care if she was run over now. She walked toward the park.
There weren't many people on the sidewalk. Even so, she would have bumped into a few people. The insults they shouted after her got lost in the tumult in her head.
"Just as the body can only sustain a certain number of injuries, the soul can only take a certain amount of pain before it shuts itself up for its own protection. Perhaps it must be so, if reality exceeds our imagination, we conclude us, it can't be true."
When she got to the park, she sat down on a bench. There had been a violent storm the week before. Now another one came up. The dark clouds on the horizon were getting closer and the rumble of thunder was getting louder. However, it was warm when the clouds came over her, and the rain wasn't as expected either. It was not raining heavily, but very lightly. So lightly that Lori almost didn't notice.
She sat like a statue on this bench until half an hour later something woke her from this state. She watched a gray black tabby cat fall about 4 meters from a tree. When the cat was on the ground, she shook herself and ran towards Lori. She climbed onto the bench and sniffed Lori's arm. When she finished sniffing Lori, she sat down next to Lori.
"I don't know if this cat understood how I felt. She fell from a relatively high position and noticed that I wasn't feeling well. Although she herself might have been in a little pain, she walked to me because she noticed something about me wasn't right."
Lori started petting the cat. At first she purred softly and she sounded like a Geiger counter, after a minute she purred so loud that you could hear it 2 meters away.
Lori's thoughts became clearer and clearer. Why had she gone to this park, why wasn't she with her family. Something occurred to her, something very painful. Her family was together and none of them were alone. But Ronnie Anne was alone, Lincoln's girlfriend. The cat had told her something that could not be said in any known language.
She stroked the cat again and ran towards the Santiago's house. The cat looked after Lori, shook itself and disappeared into a bush.
"I had to see Ronnie Anne."
Lori ran all over Royal Woods, her only thoughts revolving around Ronnie Anne. Was it mean to her family? Was what she was doing despicable? How would your sisters react if they knew that you went to her brother's girlfriend.
Maybe she was doing the right thing. Maybe she did what her family thought was right. Ronnie Anne was Lincoln's girlfriend, so she was family. She was also Bobby's sister and he was also part of the family. It was the right decision.
After running 2 kilometers without stopping, she felt a stabbing pain in her lungs. She had to stop, breathing deeply in and out. And fell to her knees. In the middle of the sidewalk. It was getting dark and nobody was outside. Now she started to cry. She knew her brother was dead, but now she realized it, and it was very painful. Her hands clenched into fists and she closed them with such force that she nearly sprained her fingers. She was sitting on the sidewalk, leaning against a lamppost.
"I get it and I don't get it at the same time."
Her sobs were quiet, her pain was loud. She got up again. She had to go to Ronnie Anne. For anything in the world she had to go to her.
Lincoln would want her to go to her. And Lori did it. She would walk across endless Antarctica and through the flames of hell for her brother before she gave up. Then she noticed her cell phone was vibrating. She took the call.
"Lori, where the hell are you? Are you alright?" It was Luna's voice.
"I'm fine," Lori said out of breath, "I'm on the way to Ronnie Anne."
"What do you want at Ronnie Anne's house? We need you here."
"I can't believe I have to explain this to you, Ronnie Anne is just as sad as we are. She just lost her boyfriend. How would you feel?"
"You are doing the right thing."
Luna ended the call and Lori put the phone back in her pocket. She kept running. Lynn would have been proud of this achievement if she had been there.
She ran down the street, crossed a railroad crossing, 2 rivers and ran past the school. When she returned to the living quarters, a man in his mid-fifties was sitting on a folding chair in his front yard. He drank canned beer and was already quite drunk. As Lori ran past his front yard, the man called after her.
"The way you run, you train for the army. Those were the days."
She didn't understand the rest. She didn't really care what a drunk idiot had to say either.
She was slowly getting closer to Ronnie Anne's and Bobby's house. She had this 3 kilometers from the hospital. She was kind of proud of herself. When she got to the house, she noticed that there were no lights on. It seemed strange to Lori, but Bobby picked Ronnie Anne up at the restaurant. He said he would take her home. She ran to a window and looked through. Nobody was in the living room. Lori now went into the back garden. She looked in Bobby's room, nobody was there. Looking inside Ronnie Anne's room, she realized they weren't home.
She went back into the front yard. She walked slowly towards the center. She looked at the floor.
"So alone, in the dark, it was scary. Not because of the dark or because of the weird or drunk people. It was my thoughts that triggered this feeling."
Many things came to her mind, even harming herself.
But that wouldn't solve anything. She was getting closer and closer to the center and she saw Flip's gas station. She entered and went to the cash register.
"Welcome to Flips, what do you need?"
"A flipie and…"
She saw the cigarettes on the shelf behind Flip.
"And a pack of cigarettes and a lighter."
Flip took a good look at Lori, even though he liked making money, he never broke the law. He always did questionable things, either to make more money or to save money, but he never sold tobacco or alcohol to children and young people. He had two reasons for doing so, firstly, it would be very irresponsible, secondly, if it became public knowledge that he was selling tobacco and alcohol to young people, he could close his gas station immediately, and that would mean that he would no longer be able to make any money. But he didn't know how old Lori is. And to him she looked like an adult.
"You know that stuff isn't healthy, right?"
"I do not care."
He gave Lori the flipie, the lighter and the cigarettes.
"As you wish, is not my lungs. 10 dollars please."
Lori gave Flip the money and left the gas station.
Lori finished the flipie. She opened the pack of cigarettes and pulled out one. She put them in her mouth and lit them. She took a deep drag on the cigarette.
"I felt the smoke fill my lungs and slowly began to poison me."
Lori coughed slightly. She felt a little bad for lying to Flip. They gig again in the direction of the house of the Santiagos. It was getting cold, but the rain stopped. She walked the sidewalk and smoked all the way. When she got to the Santiago house, Bobby and Ronnie Anne were still not there. More and more she wondered where they were. Were they in Great Lake City with their grandparents? Lori pulled out her phone and checked her messages. The last message was from this morning and read: "I'm home now, Ronnie Anne is very sad now."
She noticed a voice message from Leni.
"Lori, I don't know what to do anymore, we've been home for half an hour and it's bad here. I hope you'll come back soon."
Lori was now also recording a voice message. She wasn't quite sure what to say.
"Hi Leni, I'll come as soon as I can, I still have to wait for bobby. I need to know what's going on with them, because they are not at home and I haven't heard from Bobby since this morning. You'll be with the deal with the situation."
Lori sent the voice message. She took out another cigarette and lit it too. When she was done, she realized how tired she was. She leaned against the front door and folded her arms. It was the worst day she had ever experienced. After 5 minutes she was too tired and fell asleep.
"Lori? What are you doing here?"
Bobby's voice woke her gently from her sleep. She looked around confused. Then she remembered how she ran to the Santiago's house.
"You're back? Where have you been?"
"In the hospital," Bobby said, pointing at Ronnie Anne who had a cast on her right arm.
"Ronnie Anne, what have you done?" Lori said as she stood up.
"Nothing," she said, tears forming in her eyes.
When Bobby unlocked the front door, Ronnie Anne ran into her room and locked the door. Lori and Bobby entered the living room.
"What happened?"
"When we got home she locked herself in her room. She punched and hit the wall. She broke two hand bones and her forearm. Lori I'm sorry I didn't text you."
"No problem. I need to speak to her."
Lori went to the door of Ronnie Anne's room.
"Ronnie Anne? Are you there?"
"Go away. I want to be alone."
"Listen, I know how you feel. I loved him too. My only brother. Isolating you from the people who love you is not an option either. Please, open up."
Lori heard the lock on the door being opened. The door opened and Lori saw Ronnie Anne crying. The two sat down on her bed.
"It's so brutal, I only recently confessed to him how much I loved him. It's not fair."
"I can only partially understand it, I mean I was his sister and not his girlfriend. But it hurts me too."
Ronnie Anne wraps her arms around Lori's waist. She starts crying even harder. Lori stroked her hair. She pulls her towards her.
"My life is not as good as before, Lincoln was the nicest person I knew. And now he is no longer with us."
Lori also starts crying.
"I know. I don't know what else I should do either. He had done so much for us, he was the one who kept the family together. I don't know what will happen in the future, but it will never be as good as it was."
Lori recognized an alarm clock, it read 2:13, it was the middle of the night, and she was here, here with Ronnie Anne. It was the right decision.
Lori noticed that Ronnie Anne fell asleep. Lori laid her down on her bed and covered her up. She left the bedroom quietly. She noticed that Bobby was sleeping on the couch in the living room. She lay down next to him and closed her eyes.
They wake up late in the morning. They drove Bobby's car to the Loud's house. Ronnie Anne got out of the car and entered the house. It was much quieter than usual. Leni said hello to her but left without saying anything else.
Ronnie Anne walked up the stairs and immediately ran into Lincoln's room. Lynn sits on Lincoln's bed and takes a good look around. Everything seemed to the two of them as if Lincoln had just been here. This was very confusing for Ronnie Anne. Lynn said nothing. Ronnie Anne sat down next to her. They sat there for 10 minutes. Suddenly the silence was broken.
"It's like none of that ever happened. Like Lincoln was just here. It smells like him in here. I can even feel his warmth." Lynn said.
"Like he's sitting here with us."
"Yes, but instead of my brother sitting here, my sister is sitting here." Lynn looked over at Ronnie Anne, "I love you very much. You have a place in my heart. You have a place in our family. But no one will replace Lincoln."
Lynn hugged Ronnie Anne. They almost didn't notice that Lola entered the room. Lola looks around.
"The room should stay like this. I don't want anything to change here."
"Lola, are you having a tea party?"
"Yes, do you want to join?" Lola said dejectedly. She was usually delighted when guests came to her tea parties. But she did this to distract herself, so that she didn't have to think about Lincoln.
She knew that distracting herself would do no good. The pain was still there.
It was eerily quiet as Lola, Lynn and Ronnie Anne drank tea in Lola's room.
Far too quiet. Lynn noticed that Lola's hand was shaking. When Ronnie Anne finished her cup, they just sat there. The silence was unbearable. When Lynn wanted to ask Ronnie Anne something, they both heard a clink and looked over at Lola. The cup she was holding broke in her hand. She had pressed them so hard that they broke. Lola screamed in pain and looked at her hand. The shards cut through her glove and injured her hand. Lynn immediately went to her.
"Lola, what happened? Are you hurt?"
"I'm bleeding." Lola cried and looked at her hand, which was bleeding a little.
"Please take care of Lola, I'll get the first aid kit."
Lynn ran to get the bandages. Ronnie Anne walked over to Lola and, taking her uninjured left hand, carefully removed the glove from Lola's right hand.
There was a cut on Lola's hand. Not dangerous but not negligible either. Lynn came back with a damp washcloth and a first aid kit. She wiped Lola's hand clean and disinfected it.
"Ouch! That hurts."
"You're brave, Lola," Ronnie Anne assured her.
Lynn started wrapping the bandage around Lola's hand. Lola was still crying. Ronnie Anne held her left hand and encouraged her courage. When Lynn was done, Lola looked at the bandage. Her hand still hurt.
"Thank you Lynn."
Lola hugged Lynn, and then hugged Ronnie Anne.
"Look Lola, now we look the same, like sisters." Ronnie Anne smiled at Lola.
Lola stopped crying. She looked at Ronnie Anne. She had an idea.
"If we want to look like sisters," she said quietly, "I would have to make you up to match. May I?"
"You may. I think we're both going to look very pretty. Do you want to join in too Lynn?"
Lynn hesitated, but she agreed.
"I wasn't there but was later told it helped for a brief moment. Lola still has that scar on her hand today."
Lori was in the back garden with bobby. They sat under the tree and talked.
"Bobby, I'm at a loss. I'm literally at a loss."
"I feel the same way."
The two sat there for 5 minutes. But it wasn't quiet. You could hear the birds chirping everywhere. Lisa came into the garden, she looked like she had been crying all night and all day.
"Hello you two," she said in a low voice.
"Hi Lisa, how did you sleep?"
"Not today."
Lisa sat down next to the two.
"We could have prepared for this day for months, years or even decades, in the end we would always have been hit straight away."
"He was your brother too. That's always very painful." replied Bobby.
To Lori's and Bobby's surprise, Lisa started to sing.
„It's been a long road
Getting from there to here
It's been a long time
But my time is finally near"
Lori was slightly confused, she very rarely heard Lisa sing. But the song sounded familiar to Bobby, he had heard it at least 50 times. He certainly knew.
„And I can feel the change in the wind right now
Nothings in my way
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna hold me down
No they're not gonna hold me down"
Bobby remembered. It was the theme song of Star Trek Enterprise. He used to watch this series with his parents. He knew this song by heart. He sang along with Lisa.
„Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
I've got faith
Faith of the heart"
These memories, Bobby remembered clearly, more than ever.
„It's been a long night
Trying to find my way
Been through the darkness
Now I finally have my day
I will see my dream come alive at last
I will touch the sky
And they're not gonna hold me down no more
No they're not gonna change my mind"
He remembers sitting in front of the television with his father and mother when he was 5 years old. Between the two is Ronnie Anne, as a baby. He remembers how they sat in front of the television every evening and watched Star Trek Enterprise. He realized now how much he wished to be a child again.
„Cause I've got faith of the heart
I'm going where my heart will take me
I've got faith to believe
I can do anything
I've got strength of the soul
And no one's gonna bend or break me
I can reach any star
I've got faith
Faith of the heart"
When Lisa and Bobby finished, they realized that Lori was crying.
"Why are you crying Lori?"
"Because of everything. Because of everything that's wrong in this goddamn world." screamed Lori in grief.
Lori takes out a cigarette and lights it. Bobby and Lisa are slightly shocked.
"Lori, since when the hell do you smoke?"
"You know exactly how poisonous that is." said Lisa.
"You know what? Fuck everything."
This situation would probably have turned into a fight if Leni hadn't run into the garden. Lori pressed the cigarette into the ground and it went out.
"Lori, I don't know what to do with Lily anymore."
"Calm down Leni. What's going on?"
"Well, I smelled that Lily's diaper needed changing. I walked into her room and there she was in her bed."
"It's not unusual, Lily lies in her bed all the time and needs to have her diaper changed." said Lisa.
"It's not that. When I changed Lilli's diaper I saw her start to cry, but over and over again before she stopped crying. And over and over again. And not only that, she refuses to laugh."
"She refuses to laugh, she may be a baby but she can certainly grieve." said bobby.
"I don't know exactly. I know how a nuclear reactor is built, or how the human body works, but Lily is and will remain a mystery to me. And behavior like you describe Leni is very strange." Lisa said in a thoughtful voice. "I mean, yesterday we jingled the keys and Lily laughed like nothing happened."
"I better check on her, Leni, please come with me." Lori said, got up and went into the house with Leni.
Leni and Lori stood in Lily and Lisa's room and watched Lily. Lori was really confused by Lily's behavior. Lily had what you could call a neutral expression on her face. Every time she wanted to start crying, she could partially prevent it. Even when Lori tried to make her laugh, she prevented it. As if she just doesn't want to laugh anymore, as if she didn't feel like one of her emotions anymore.
"I don't get it. Like she's trying in every way possible not to show emotion."
"We just didn't know what was wrong with you, but it was the first signs of the psychosis triggered by Lincoln's death. A baby's heart can't take that much grief."
"I worry about her." said Leni.
"I better get Mom." Lori said and walked down the stairs to her parents' bedroom. She knocked and opened the door.
"Mom? Are you there?"
"Yes," Rita's voice was heard softly, "what is Lori?"
"It's about Lily. She's suppressing her emotions. I don't know how else to put it, but she's trying to suppress her emotions."
Rita ran past Lori and up the stairs. She may have lost her son, but her maternal instincts were now stronger than ever. She entered Lily's room where Lily and Leni were. She picked Lily up and looked closely at Lily. She saw how Lily was trying to suppress her emotions all the time and was partially successful. Now Rita got even more scared for Lily.
"What is wrong with you Lily?"
Lori came into the room, she saw how worried Rita was about Lily. Lori was also worried about Rita because she shouldn't be stressed anymore.
"Lori, start Vanzilla's motor. We have to go to the hospital immediately."
It seemed premature to Lori, but she didn't want to mess with her.
"Ok mom."
Lori went downstairs, took Vanzilla's keys and got in. Rita dressed Lily in a small sweater and small pants. She then quickly went downstairs and sat Lily in her seat. Rita took a seat next to Lily and gave her a worried look. Lori started Vanzilla's engine and drove off.
"I turn on the radio."
A song was playing on the radio, which was interrupted by the hourly news. The news anchor had the voice of a 50 year old man who had smoked too many cigarettes.
"Good afternoon, dear listeners. This is the news at 1:00 p.m. from Thomas Scott. At 12:00 p.m. today, reactor block 2 of the Royal Woods nuclear power plant went into premature overhaul. The reason is the installation of a new high-pressure turbine. Head of block 2 , Céleste Chevalier, gave us an interview this morning."
A female voice rang out. She had a strong French accent.
"With the installation of the new turbine, we can increase the output from 1010 megawatts to 1070 megawatts, which equips us well for the future. In addition, as in every overhaul, a fifth of the fuel elements will be replaced. In two months, reactor block two will go back into operation.„
Thomas Scott's voice sounded again.
"Now for another report. 7 people were injured in a hostage-taking on the Atlantic Ocean. The hostage-taking was ended thanks to the surprising cooperation of Russian and American special forces. Many politicians in the world say that this is the beginning of the long-awaited peace between East and West will be. The units were commanded by Captain Daniel Archer and Captain 1st rank Pavel Sintnikov. Now to the weather, today it is sunny with light clouds in a warm climate. Now to the stock market. One dollar is calculated at 93 Swiss centimes, and to 91 European cents. That was the news from Radio Royal Woods, Thomas Scott in charge."
Lori turns out Vanzilla. They're at the hospital now. Lori has probably never driven so aggressively in her life. Rita gets out with Lily in her arms. She quickly runs to the emergency entrance.
"She needs to see a doctor immediately, I don't know what's wrong with her." said Rita to a doctor.
"I'll look at her."
The doctor led Rita into a doctor's room. Rita placed Lily on the treatment table. The doctor examined Lily with a stethoscope, listening to her heart and abdomen. Then he put a heart rate monitor on her arm. After many more investigations, the doctor was at a loss.
"What were the symptoms you saw?"
"She suppresses her emotions, when she wanted to cry earlier, she always managed to prevent it. Even when she laughs, she does it. It's not normal." said Rita.
The doctor was surprised. He took off his glasses and put his hand to his face.
"Listen Ms. Loud, Lily is a baby and the problem is mental. I'm not a psychiatrist, so you're wrong about me having this problem. But I'd still like to ask, has anything happened in your family lately, like a violent quarrel or a death."
Rita looked down.
"My son, her brother, died yesterday. It hit me hard. And, I don't know what, but Lily was acting normal yesterday, and today she started suppressing her emotions."
"I have a colleague in the psychiatric department. You need to make an appointment with him. But I have to tell you right now that a psychological diagnosis in a baby or toddler is impossible. Lily must be at least 5 years old to have a diagnosis can be true."
Rita took Lily in her arms. She thanked the doctor and went back to the parking lot. She opened the back door of Vanzilla.
"Hi Mom. Is Lily okay?"
"Yes," Rita said sadly, "The doctor says that the problem is psychological in origin and that a diagnosis will not be possible until Lily is 5 years old."
"Does that mean the doctor doesn't know what's going on with her?"
„Yes."
Rita put Lily in her car seat and buckled her up. Then she got in and closed the door. Lori started the engine and drove onto the street.
"What's the matter with this family," Rita said, "first Lincoln had to get sick and now Lily has a mental health problem. Why?"
"I was wondering about Lily's behavior today too, but maybe that's her way of dealing with the loss of Lincoln."
The two said nothing. Lori now drove onto the street where they passed the nuclear power plant. Rita and Lori didn't like this way, every time they drove past the nuclear power plant they got a strange feeling. They didn't know what it was, maybe because they didn't understand as much about nuclear energy as Lisa did, or because they watched too many documentaries about accidents like Chernobyl or Harrisburg. They didn't care now. Lori turned onto Radium Street. On the right side was a small forest, on the left side you could already see the two cooling towers of the nuclear power plant. These huge clouds of steam which slowly rose and were carried by the wind.
"I haven't driven through here for so long." said Lori.
"I don't even get that weird feeling anymore."
Lily stared at the power plant. The two cooling towers and the steam floating away hypnotically.
"Cloud." Said Lily
"Well done Lily." said Lori.
Rita said nothing but smiled at Lily. Lily would have smiled back, suppressing it extremely quickly. Now they were right next to the nuclear power plant. The reactor buildings and turbine hall buildings were now clearly visible. They were only 100 meters from the reactor building. Between the street and the power plant were two fences, 10 feet high, which had an in-turned top lined with razor wire. Now the two noticed how big the two cooling towers were, these 200 meters height were respectful.
"Now I realize how long I haven't driven through here." said Lori.
"Me too."
Now they are moving away from the nuclear power plant again. They drove back to the living quarters. Lori drove another 4 kilometers, then they were finally home. Bobby's car was still in the driveway. Rita unbuckled Lily from the car seat and carried her inside. Leni immediately came to Rita.
"How is Lily?"
"She is fine." Rita said and handed Lily over to Leni. "Will you take care of her please? I have to sleep now."
Rita went to her bedroom and closed the door.
"Lori, is Lily okay?"
"Yes," Lori said, "the doctor said it was psychological, um, I mean in her head. But not like Lincoln, it affects her thinking. I think she's so sad about Lincoln that she doesn't cry, she doesn't laugh, and she doesn't want to be happy."
"But why?"
"I don't know, but maybe that's her way of mourning Lincoln."
Lori went outside again. She lit another cigarette. She drew the smoke into her lungs and felt this poison spread in her lungs. Then she heard something from the garage, a melody. Luna's electric guitar had been severely distorted. The song she played didn't sound like rock, it was a kind of metal, trash metal.
"Minutes seem like days
Since fire ruled the sky
The rich became the beggars
And the fools became the wise
Memories linger in my brain
Of burning from the acid rain
A pain I never have won"
Lori had never heard Luna play more aggressively.
"Nothing here remains
No future and no past
No one could foresee
The end that came so fast
Hear the prophet make his guess
That paradise lies to the west
So join his quest for the sun"
Luna sang this song full of pain.
"Shades of death are all I see
Fragments of what used to be"
Lori startled a little when she heard the lyrics Luna sang. This song and these lyrics just didn't fit Luna.
"The world slowly decays
Destruction fills my eyes
Harboring the image
Of a spiraling demise
Burning winds release their fury
Simulating judge and jury
Drifting flurries of pain"
Lori went back inside. She went up the stairs looking for Bobby and Ronnie Anne. She found Bobby in Lisa's room. He looked at Lisa's research.
"So you could increase the efficiency of the nuclear power plant? By 55%? That's incredible."
"Lisa seems to be preparing you for college?" Lori said in a slightly sarcastic tone.
"I'm just showing Bobby my research."
"Good idea. Where is Ronnie Anne anyway?"
"She's in Lola's room with Lynn." said bobby.
Lori walked down the hall. She opened the door of Lana and Lola's room. Lynn, Ronnie Anne, Lana and Lola sat there. They drank earl gray tea and Ronnie Anne wore makeup like Lola. Not flashy, just very light and simple. Lori noticed the bandage on Lola's hand.
"Lola, what happened to your hand?"
Lola looked at the bandage she was wearing on her right hand.
"I was holding a cup and I held it too tight and it broke in my hand." said Lola.
"She cut herself pretty badly. I'm pretty sure she'll keep a scar." said Ronnie Anne.
"Lynn made the bandage, it holds well and is comfortable." said Lola and looked over at Lynn.
"I have experience, do you know how many injuries you can get from playing sports?" Lynn said confidently.
Lori was relieved now. Lola seemed fine.
"Lori, where have you been?" asked Lana.
Lori knew that lying was not an option.
"I was at the hospital with Mom and Lily."
"What?" screamed Lana, Lola, Ronnie Anne and Lynn.
"Nothing serious." Lori assured them. "It's just that Lily doesn't want to laugh or cry anymore. Mom wanted to take her to the doctor right away."
It was quiet again now. They kept drinking tea. 5 minutes later Bobby came to them.
"Ronnie Anne, we have to go home. Bye everyone"
"Okay Bobby." she said, "Bye everyone, it felt good to be here with you."
Everyone said goodbye to Ronnie Anne. When she left the house it was quiet again. The evening began and it started to get dark. Lori went to Luan, nothing had been heard from her today.
"Luan? Are you here?" Lori said as she entered Luna and Luan's room.
"Yes." Said Luan, not bothering to hide her sadness.
Luan lay on her bed. she stared at the darkening horizon. Lori sat down next to her.
"How are you?" Lori said, though it was obvious.
"I don't know. It seems I'm the only one mourning Lincoln. Everyone else is doing more or less what they always do. I don't get it."
"No, no, you're not the only one mourning Lincoln. Even I can't quite accept it. Maybe because the truth is beyond our imagination." Lori said in a very calm tone.
"I can believe it. He's gone. It just can't be."
"No one in our family could really believe it. Yes, we had a big farewell party for Lincoln, everyone had prepared for that day when he was going. But you know what, no one can prepare for that much pain. Luan and Luna were the first to wake up from this state of shock."
"I miss him too. Everyone in our family is kind of in shock."
"And when will it stop?"
Lori couldn't answer that question. She just couldn't. Because she didn't know.
"I don't know," Lori said. She looked at the sky from the bed. She saw three stars in a row. And a little above it was a bright red star, Betelgeuse. Then Lori said, "The stars are beautiful."
"How do you mean?" Luan asked and rolled over on her bed.
Lori pointed to the three stars.
"That's Orion's Belt."
Then she pointed to Betelgeuse.
"This is betelgeuse. Its light takes 700 years to reach us"
"Why are you telling me this?" said Luan tearfully.
"Because I firmly believe that a new star was born last night." said Lori.
Luan wrapped her arms around Lori. When Luan did that, Lori cried too. You could hear them crying in the hallway in front of the room. Lynn heard it, she ran to her room and started crying too. Now she realized everything that had happened. Lynn's mind had paused at the point when Doctor House came out of the hospital room. Lynn pressed her face into her pillow. She yelled in so loud it was thought she wasn't yelling into a pillow but into a bullhorn. Lucy heard this scream, she lay in her coffin and now huddled like a fetus. The grief broke her now too. Her sobs were very soft, but just as painful as Lynn's.
After ten minutes every soul in this house was crying. And each cried in her own painful way. Everyone has now finally woken up from this shock.
A symphony of mourning.
"Well, now you know how Ronnie Anne was. But I've gotten a little carried away." Said 41-year-old Lori.
"I can only understand badly, but you had great mental pain." Said Lily.
Lori got up from the couch. She picked up her captain's hat from the table and put it on. Then she gave Lily the rank insignia of Commander.
"You have to put these on. Or do you want to stay Lt. Commander?" said Lori in a sarcastic tone.
"I think you know my answer. Someday you have to tell me how you got into the Navy."
"I'll tell you when we have some free time on the Enterprise. And I have to go there now. It was nice to see you again."
Lori hugged Lily. Lily disliked hugs but tolerated them because it made her sisters happy.
"I wish you good luck."
"Thank you bye."
Lori left the apartment. As Lori closed the door, Lily's phone rang. Unknown caller was on the phone screen. Lily picked up the phone. The voice of a 60 year old man could be heard.
"The dolphin is in the pool. The zoo keeper doesn't know how to treat him." said the voice.
"Then you should teach the animal keeper."
"A biologist can teach her that. Soon she will be able to hear the dolphin singing."
"Will she be allowed this training?"
"Yes, but there shouldn't be any visitors in the zoo."
The phone call ended with that last sentence. Lily knew exactly what it meant. She loosened the top buttons of her uniform. She removed the Lt. Commander's insignia, and attached a commander's insignia. Now she was prepared for her mission. She took an amulet out of her uniform pocket. she opened it. Inside was a picture of Lincoln and a picture of Lisa. She held the amulet to her chest and closed her eyes.
End of the first chapter.