And Then, We Die

by Ihateeveryone24

Bella struggles to move on after Edward’s disappearance. He was supposed to be her forever. Now, she has to live her life without him and slowly descends into madness…or does she? Bella/Edward pairing. Book 2 posted as Chapter 2. TW: Loss, suicide attempts, recreational drugs and alcohol, sex, etc. Cross posted.

2. Book 2

Book 2

I wrote this book with the mind that I was letting my creativity flow free, and essentially try to 'hang out' with the Cullens. So, in shorter terms, it's not super cohesive, and some parts are really cheesy. I was really trying to keep upbeat while I wrote this, and channel only giddy happy vibes.*

Everything in this story is really happy, fluffy, etc. No angst. If that's not your cup of tea, you might not like this.*

3 I don't own any of Steph Meyer's work. I just like to frolic around in it.3

---

It had been two weeks since I found out Edward was still alive. Two weeks of complete bliss, and happiness. I never wanted to come down from this cloud.

Sure, Edward was a vampire. But that was insignificant in my eyes.

Every morning since that day, I had a strict schedule to keep my new secret.

I had breakfast with Charlie, then my classes, then I saw Edward for the rest of the day. Usually in his bed, wrapped in half a dozen blankets so we could cuddle without me getting too cold. The Cullen home was easily becoming my favorite place to be. The lightness, and happiness in the air was almost palpable.

But aside from the joy, it wasn't easy to keep this away from Charlie, and I didn't know how I was going to keep it from him much longer.

My phone buzzed next to me on the end table, pulling me out of my sleep. "Hello?" I mumbled, glancing at the time. It was early. Too early.

"Bella!" Jake yelled into the phone. Edward looked up from his book, glancing at me but still pretending to give me privacy. I now knew that he and his family could hear just about anything that was happening within the house. Embarrassing, but I was adjusting to it.

"Jake? What do you want? It's five in the morning." I grumbled.

"Sorry, I guess I kind of forgot. Late uh-meeting, ran into the morning. I am headed to Seattle this morning, and thought we could catch breakfast together with Charlie. Just like old times, yeah?"

I grimaced. Plans with Jake were a wind up for a disaster. Every time I mentioned him, Edward went rigid. I didn't want to say yes, but saying no would have raised more questions.

"Yeah, um sure. I'll see you at my place at 8." I slammed my phone shut, throwing it on the floor. I still didn't have a plan for how I was telling them I was leaving. I'm sure I would come up with something.

Edward's soft fingertips brush the base of my neck, twirling some loose hair. I twisted around, turning to him.

"You shouldn't be around wolves, Bella." He scolded.

I sighed. "Well, I didn't know, or have a choice. And I'm not around them anymore, am I? It's just this once." I threw my arm around his neck, pulling his lips to mine.

I'd gotten more used to how it felt to be with him now. He was so scared of hurting me, treating me like glass at all times. It was maddening. I wanted him. Every part of me remembered what it was like to actually be with him, and I craved to have that again.

But, he wouldn't. Said that it was too dangerous.

I don't know if I agreed with him, but I wasn't going to pressure him. The good news was that his resolve was breaking, I could feel it.

He flipped on top of me, pushing his knee between my thighs. His fingers threaded through mine, pressing me into the bed as he kissed me with fervor. I raised my hips in response to him, and in an instant it was over.

I blinked, and he was lying beside me again, panting.

"We shouldn't do that…" He said as I cuddled against his side.

He was shirtless, his skin almost blending with the blanched sheets. I could marvel at his body all day long. The planes on his stomach, the valleys where the muscles rippled…he was perfect in every way.

"You escalated that. I just wanted a kiss." I pointed out, standing and pulling on pants and a fresh shirt for the day.

During these two weeks, I would wake up early to drive home and be ready for Charlie. Luckily, a 45 minute drive was nothing compared to years without him. And, sometimes Edward would take me home. Even more worth it.

He couldn't come with me today, though. With Jacob coming, I wanted to make sure there was absolutely no way they would be crossing paths.

I walked over to his side of the bed, sitting in the spot between his legs. He sat up, helping me as I ran my fingers through my knotted hair.

"Must you always leave me here, abandoned in my bed?" His breath tickled the side of my neck and shoulder, his lips just ghosting above it.

"I have a human life. Exactly what you wanted, just a reminder. That life so far has remained in the dark about you. I can't help it. This was all your wish, remember?" I shot him a teasing glare.

He pursed his lips, knowing I won. "Is that your way of telling me I should have come around sooner?"

I gave him a sly smile. "Something like that."

The truth was, I was still angry that he didn't tell me he was alive sooner. I understand why he didn't, of course. But the feelings were still there. I wished we could have figured it out together, which he said would not have been possible. I don't believe that.

I pulled myself out of my thoughts before I got upset. I grabbed his face, giving him a chaste kiss. "I'm gonna get going. I love you." I whispered before heading out the door.

"I love you." He said from behind me. It sounded somber. I couldn't ever look at him when I left. At least, not all the way. Because if I did, and I saw how sad his face was, then I would never be able to leave.

I ran down the stairs, seeing Esme in the kitchen. She had made this strange habit to conveniently be working on her cooking skills in the kitchen on the mornings I stayed here. It wasn't bad having someone to cook for me, so I wasn't complaining. She handed me my plate. Folding her hands and resting her heart shaped face on them.

There was something about her that just felt strikingly maternal. She was the mom of the household, without a doubt.

"Esme, how old are you?" I asked between bites of breakfast potatoes and eggs.

She looked struck by this odd question. Her brows furrowed. "Well, are we referring to human or vampire years?"

"Both." I shrugged. I had been trying to get to know everyone, and so far I was the oldest one among almost all of the Cullens. It was only a part of building my case to Edward. My case being that I was irrevocably in love with him, and thus would want to be by his side forever. Because, duh, who wouldn't.

She sighed. "Well, I was changed when I was around 26. And a true lady never reveals her age." She winked at me.

The drive back to my apartment was long, but relaxing. It was only 6:30.

The days that Edward came with me were the best. Something about the dark skies and the fresh morning air opened up the lanes of communication. On those drives, nothing was off limits about our past. However, being on my own was boring.

I swung open my apartment door, flinging my stuff onto the counter. I had enough time to get ready, and take my meds. The agreement was that I could continue to smoke without complaint as long as I was taking those again. That was fine. Neither here nor there. I was only doing it because Edward told me to.

There was a knock at my door. I glanced at the time. It was too early. I opened the door slowly, Jake's tall and bulky frame blocked the entire entrance. He grinned at me, approaching with open arms, when he stopped dead in his tracks. His nose wrinkled, and his eyes narrowed.

"Bella, how are you?" The smile from his face was strained. He stepped past me, scanning the room in the way he used to. It was paranoid, and annoying. I don't know how I ever tolerated it.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, folding my arms. I knew that Carlisle knew who the wolves were, so the wolves must know about the vampires. But Jake didn't need to know I knew that.

"No, of course not. How've you been lately? Uh-Who have you been hanging out with?" He asked, but it wasn't much of a question. I tried to control my expressions, not giving anything away.

"Um—hi. Nice to see you too. Yeah, I'm great." I teased, pretending I had no idea what his problem was.

He whipped around, stooping to my level. His eyes were filled with concern, evaluating me from top to bottom. "Bella, let's skip the pleasantries. I can't. Not when I come in…to this." He gestured to the room around him. "So, who are you hanging out with? Are you hurt? What are their names?" He grabbed my arm.

I shook free from him. "No, I'm not hurt. I have been seeing someone, but they haven't been here in a few days. Does it smell weird, or something?" I waved my hand around casually. I knew this was driving him crazy, and it was bordering hilarious.

His eyes bulged out, his mouth opening in shock.

"Y-you're seeing someone? A… guy?" I couldn't tell if he was scared, or disgusted. Maybe both.

"You say it like that's a bad thing. Would it be better if it were a girl?" I spit out, narrowing my eyes.

"What? No, I don't care—" he sighed. "Jesus—Bells, you can't see this guy. Look, I know that seems cliché, but you can't. He's bad news, whoever he is. I can tell. Trust me." He was sincere, I could tell that much. And, it did make me feel a little guilty. He was only looking after me. Should I break it to him?

If I did…then there would be too many questions to ask. I shook my head.

"Not a chance in the world, Jake. I'm happy, finally. How's Natalie?" I tried to change the subject.

He rolled his eyes. "I'm not just going to let this go. I care about you too. I want to always be here for you, I promised. This is me being here for you. Choose any other guy but this one. He's not the one."

"Jake…he is the one. I'm sure of it. I'm not changing my mind, so get used to it. I know what I'm doing." I said, a bit more forceful than I wanted to be.

He sat on the couch, silent. "I knew something was wrong…I just had a feeling." He mumbled to himself.

There was another knock at the door.

It was Charlie, and he was early. Thank god for that.

He walked into the room, looking between the two of us. I forgot to call him and tell him that Jake would be coming with.

"Hey buddy." He hugged Jake, who was frowning. "Everything alright here? You and Natalie alright?" He was in his cop stance, with his hands on his hips.

I suppressed a giggle. "Jake just got into town a few minutes ago. He wanted to join us for breakfast, we were just catching up." I explained, giving Jake a long look.

A long look that told him to shut his mouth.

---

Everything was fairly quiet until the last half of breakfast. Charlie grilled me, as usual. But this time, Jake was there to add fuel to the fire.

"Do you know who Bella's seeing, Charlie?" Jake asked casually. I kicked him underneath the table, my toes pulsed with pain. It was like kicking a wall.

Charlie froze, locking eyes with me. "No, she didn't mention she was seeing anyone at all, actually." He said with a gruff voice.

They both looked at me, expecting some sort of explanation.

"You are nosy." I pointed to Charlie. "And, you are nosy." I pointed to Jake.

"I think it's none of anyone's business." I added.

"I disagree. Who are you seeing?" Charlie said, his eyes narrowing.

"Yeah Bells, tell him. I think we are all dying to know." Jake said, eager.

I rolled my eyes. "Again. None of your business. I have some new friends, a whole groups actually. It's nice. That's all you guys need to know." I pointed out.

Charlie and Jake exchanged a look. I knew that look. They were deciding something for me, instead of letting me decide.

An idea popped into my head then.

"Actually, that's what I was going to bring up to you dad." I looked at my food, pretending Jake wasn't there. "I think I'm going to go on a trip. I had some more money saved up than I thought for this semester. My friends are going to be travelling for a bit. They all invited me to go, so I thought I might do it." I shrugged, trying to be nonchalant about the entire thing. I was afraid of what Charlie was going to say, but after a minute of silence, I finally looked up.

He was smiling, a smug expression on his face. Jake looked pissed, and shocked.

"Bella, I think that's a great idea. Exploring for a bit and taking a break would be so good for you. I take it you will pick up your classes after? What about the apartment?"

A smile broke out on my face so wide that I thought it would make my skin crack. I could feel the tension in my shoulders releasing with relief. "Actually, that's the thing. You already pay half the rent, so why don't you just stay there while I'm gone. Save on hotel costs."

Charlie shrugged. "Fine with me. How ab—"

"Wait, wait a minute. Charlie, are you insane? You can't just let her go." Jake pleaded.

Charlie gave him an incredulous look. "And why do you care? Jacob, last time I checked you passed over your right to having any leeway in our familial relations." He gave him a long look over the rim of his coffee cup. He swallowed with a big sigh. "I love you, but what are you doing here? Watching over Bella isn't your job anymore. I can handle it, and she can handle herself. Why don't you go back home to the soon-to-be mother of your child."

It felt like the entire diner had gone silent by then, listening intently.

I didn't have anything else to say. Charlie said it all. I felt a little bad, because Jake knew that I was around vampires. He only wanted to protect me, but I was also perfectly safe. They would never hurt me.

Jake huffed, folding his arms. "I just wanted to make sure you were alright Bella."

"Well, I am alright. I know what I'm doing." I said, with all the confidence I could muster. Maybe he would understand what I meant. That I meant I knew what they were, and that I was safe. And, I think he might have.

His eyes widened for a fraction of a second before narrowing.

Charlie interjected. "Right, well. Bells, I think you should. You know my stance on it. If you need help financially, of course just let me know. No need to ask, just tell me what you need."

Jake was silent the rest of breakfast, and stormed off the second he paid for his bill.

"Thanks for standing up for me." I said, lighting up a cigarette on the sidewalk outside the diner. Since he had been here for so a while, my new habit was getting harder to hide. So I stopped hiding it. Who cares what others thought, it wasn't their body.

Charlie didn't seem to mind. It was strange, but the more authentic I was with him, the more he relaxed. He was really starting to feel…like a friend. Instead of just a parent.

"Bells, I'll always go to bat for you. But I gotta ask. Are you actually thinking things through? I'm asking that as a dad, not as a cop. I don't care what you do, or with who. As long as you're happy, and safe."

I nodded. "I am, I promise. I haven't been this happy in a long time. But I'm just going to take it day by day. I'm sure not everything will be easy."

He didn't say anything back, so I knew my words resonated with him.

We walked back to my apartment, and he left off for the station.

It was a good talk, and walk. I liked our mornings like this, and I would miss them.

I shut the door on my apartment, leaning against it. It was exhausting.

To think of the things I would miss if I was a vampire. To think of the things I would miss if I stayed human.

There was a knock on my door, again. It was Edward.

He was carrying a large bouquet of flowers, and a small convenience store bag of candies. He grinned at me, holding them out. "Can I come in?"

I sighed, letting him inside as my heart swirled with contentment. He took me into his arms, a long embrace. It took all my exhaustion away, sending sparks of electricity where we touched.

"I missed you." He whispered.

I laughed. "It's been three hours." I lifted up the bag, peeking inside as he took my flowers to place them in a vase. My heart twisted painfully when I saw he had bought his favorites, and mine. That we would never be able to enjoy that together anymore.

I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around from the back. "Thank you. I missed you too, by the way." I leaned my cheek against his back, feeling the way his muscles moved as he prepped the flowers.

"How was breakfast?" He asked, trying to be lighthearted but it sounded serious underneath.

There was a quick knock at the door.

I gave Edward a look, and he moved behind the door so he was out of sight. I scanned the apartment, thinking maybe Charlie had forgotten something by chance.

"Bella?" A panicked voice called from the other side. It was Jake.

My eyes felt like they would fall out of my face.

I recoiled from the door. Edward grabbed onto my chin, making me meet his eyes. He put his finger to his lips, shushing me. I nodded.

Edward stepped into my bathroom, shutting the door silently.

I straightened my clothes, taking a deep breath. The moment I opened the door, Jake barged in.

"Where is it?" He seethed.

I raised a brow. "Where's…what, Jake?"

He started to pace. "Bella, you know. I know, that you know. And I don't know how you know, but I promise that you shouldn't. This is dangerous information."

"You're right." I sighed. "It is dangerous information. That's why you didn't tell me your part of the secret too, right? If it was so dangerous, then you should have told me. I had a right to know what I was getting myself into—right?" I folded my arms.

He was shocked. It looked like I had slapped him. It wasn't fair, I know. He was just keeping his promise.

Jake was trembling, his hands almost vibrating. "Fine." He ground out before stomping through the door.

"Good! I've been waiting for you to leave!" I shouted at his back.

"Oh, I'll be back. You haven't heard the worst from me yet. I need to take a break." He hissed before turning the corner.

I leaned my head against the door before slamming it shut.

"Fuck, fuck fuck fuck…"

This was flashback after flashback of all of the rest of our fights. Some things never changed. I groaned, pulling the door open and heading downstairs.

"Jake…" He was sitting down on a bench, his head in his hands.

I folded my arms around me. It was cold outside without a jacket, and I could see my breath.

"Bella, I don't know what's going on. I don't know what to think right now."

"Okay, well don't worry about it. It's not for you to worry about. You're free from your promise, or whatever. I don't want to leave with this sort of baggage."

He glanced up at me like I was crazy.

"What?" I spat out.

"Are you leaving with…them? Are you going to come back? Bella, what are you actually doing? Are you taking your meds?" His voice was raised, and he was towering over me now. He didn't scare me.

"Yes, Jake, I am taking my meds. I'm not doing anything but living my own life. I don't know why you can't let me choose my own path. I thought you had Natalie."

He sighed, rubbing his face with his palm. "I do. I love her more than anything, I-I just can't let you go. Not yet."

I had to turn away, trying to keep in a laugh that bubbled up. "Jake… you're controlling. I think that you love Natalie, and would never want to do anything to hurt her. So, maybe you should try to ask yourself why you can't let me go? Because I've moved on. And, I can't have this conversation right now. I don't want to be involved in your life anymore, I'm sorry." I sighed, giving him a sympathetic smile. "Go talk to Natalie about this. Not me."

I turned around, heading back into my building before he could stop me. I felt cleansed. Sure, it was short and not that kind. But, it was better than having to listen to whatever manipulative thing Jake had to say. I felt bad for Natalie, having to deal with that.

I walked back up to my apartment. Edward was sitting on the couch with his eyes closed and arms spread on the back, with his feet propped up on the coffee table. He looked so at ease, and peaceful.

"Took the dog out?" He commented as I climbed in his lap to face him.

I chuckled. "Mhm. For now. He says he can't let me go, so we will see how that goes. Either way, I told my dad I'm going with you guys."

A huge smile broke out across his face, he picked me up, laying me on my back on the couch.

"You did? And?" He was so excited it was infectious.

"And…he said it would be good for me, and he trusted me." His smile got even bigger, and he kissed my nose. Then my cheeks. Then my lips. His tongue traced my bottom lip, sending heat down my thighs.

"I get months, or years with you? Good god, I've been sent to heaven. I'm convinced." His golden eyes were darkened like honey. I brought his face closer, nipping at his bottom lip before kissing it chastely.

"You could have more time than that, you know." I leaned into his ear, "forever." I whispered. My thumb traced his lips, his nose. He looked at me for a long time.

"I couldn't ever ask you to do that for me." His sweet breath made my head spin. I groaned in frustration. "You won't change me, and you won't have sex with me. What am I going to do?" Edward rolled his eyes, his head falling to my chest. "I said for now. I could kill you by accident, you know? Then what?" His voice vibrated through my sternum.

"Mmm. Then I die happy. Or you know what's better? Change me. Then, we could do whatever we wan—" His fingers covered my mouth, before silencing me with his lips.

Our conversation, effectively over.

---

The next six weeks flew by. I finished the semester early, and had everything ready for Charlie. Jake never called, or bothered me again.

We were leaving tomorrow, to Alaska. Charlie was jealous about it, something about fishing there. I, on the other hand, was excited. More than excited. Completely ecstatic was a better word. I loved the cold, and the snow. It was going to be cozy, and relaxing. And with Edward. On multiple occasions, I had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

I packed up the last of my clothes, although Alice said we wouldn't need them much. I still wanted my staples. Her sense of style was a lot of…well, a lot.

Edward knocked on my door, and my heart set off to a gallop.

His auburn hair sat floppy in his chiseled face. He always looked like some sort of godly statue that belongs in a museum.

"Hi," I said, my voice breaking off. It was like staring at the sun and expecting to be able to see right away. I just couldn't do it.

"Edward?" A voice came up from down the hall.

I knew who it was without looking. Jake.

Edward looked surprised, and then perplexed.

Jake moved closer, grabbing onto Edward's collar and lifting him up. His nose wrinkled, then his eyes went wide. His teeth gnashed together with anger, glaring.

"You? It was—" Jake spat in his face.

"Jake! Let go of him, don't make a scene. Come inside, I can explain." I said, pushing myself between them and ushering them inside of the apartment. I locked the bolt on the door with a loud click. No one was leaving until this was dealt with, and Charlie could not find out today.

When I turned around, Edward was in the kitchen, glaring at Jake. Jake was on the other side of the room against the wall. Both were rigid, and tense.

"That whole time, it was you. Do you have any idea what you did?"

"Stop, stop!" I yelled. They both reluctantly turned to me. "What do you mean? Edward hasn't done anything. He's a good vampire, Jake. Just listen."

Jake rolled his eyes, grinding his teeth. "You don't know anything. Mind your own—"

"Don't talk to her like that. Show some respect." Edward shouted over him.

All went silent for a minute. Jake's jaw tensed, and he looked at me again. "A few years ago, we kept catching wind of a vampire testing our boundaries. We assumed it was to feed. If I had known…" He ran a hand down his face. "It caused more wolves to change, making our pack too big. It destroyed lives." He spat.

"I didn't know, Jacob." Edward said, his face twisted with pain.

"Like hell you didn't. All of your kind are evil." Jake turned to me then. "This is who you're going out with? Bella, Edward is dead. This thing you see? It's a shell of him. A possession. He has no soul. I don't know what you see in him, but it's not the same man. Okay? Just come home with me, Charlie would love to have you home. You're safe." He reached towards me.

"Don't touch her. I would never hurt her." Edward said.

Jake ignored him, eyes pleading. "Don't do this. This is insanity. I'm sorry, ok? I'll tell Natalie that things have changed. We can be…different."

I shook my head, my stomach rolling at the idea of him doing that to Natalie. How could he? "No. You're wrong. This is the same Edward we have always known. And—how could you do that to Natalie? She's carrying your child, and you're willing to hurt her like that? Jake, you're a stranger to me at this point. Just…leave, okay?"

"Bella, they could kill you—"

I put my hand up, silencing him. "They won't. I trust them with everything I have. It's fine Jake." I frowned. "I thought you would be more excited about seeing Edward…he's alive, Jake. After all of this, he really is." I said.

He shivered, his hands trembling. "He's not alive. He has been dead for years. You're delusional, at this point. I knew I should have never let you by yourself. You're so fragile—"

When it reached my ears, I didn't want to believe it. Like a flame had been lit in my chest, anger burst out of me. "Get out." I pointed to the door. "Out. I'm not listening to this anymore. Out." I opened the door, still pointing.

"Bells—"

"Out."

He hung his head in defeat, walking slowly towards it. He hesitated, looking back at me with sad eyes. He made eye contact with Edward behind me, his eyes narrowing briefly.

It hurt to see him so upset. I didn't expect them to be friends, but I didn't expect him to think so little of me. To treat me like a child. Especially when it really wasn't up to him to decide what I wanted to do with my life.

I blew out a deep breath, leaning against the shut door. When I didn't feel familiar arms around me, I opened my eyes. Edward was standing in the center of the living room, filled with upset.

"Edward…" I whispered, reaching out to him. He ignored me, moving to the window beside my bed.

"Bella, stop. He's right. This is a mistake, and we all know it."

"That isn't true," I argued. "He doesn't get to say those things and let it affect us. He's moved on, or needs to."

"Bella, he hasn't moved on." Edward turned to me, placing his hand on my cheek. "He still is in love with you, at least part of the way. I don't think he ever won't feel this way about you. It's odd, because he still feels the pull from his imprint…he fights it."

I paused. "Imprint?" I asked.

Edward nodded. "Yes. His imprint is Natalie. He feels a sort of loyalty and devotion to her. But, her company does not…satisfy him in the way yours did. He admired your company and partnership more than you think, Bella. Do you want to give that away?" He asked in earnest.

My mouth fell open in shock. "Edward…he left me that day. The day he met Natalie, he dropped me like I was nothing. Then four months later they get engaged, and pregnant. Why would I give that type of person any of my time? Do you realize how painful that was?" I sighed, my eyes tearing up. I never really cried about what Jake did. I tried to block it off, because being indifferent was easier.

Right now those feelings were threatening to come out. I wrapped my arms around myself, sitting on the edge of my bed. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the wave to pass.

"I'm sorry." Edward whispered from beside me. He threw an arm over my shoulders. It felt light like a feather. I frowned. Even now, he was treating me like I was made of glass. I shrugged him off, standing up.

"Charlie's going to be here soon. Why don't you give me a few minutes to collect myself. I'll meet you at your place, okay?"

Edward didn't say anything, only kissing me on the forehead before completely disappearing aside from a slight breeze. I still wasn't used to how fast he moved. I was going to have to get used to it if I was going to be in the presence of vampires all the time.

My stomach flipped with anxiety. It's not that I thought things weren't going to go well with Edward and his family…I was just nervous. Knowing that Jake felt that way about me didn't change my thoughts, but it still weighed heavy on me. It would be fine though, right? It had to be.

There was a loud knock on the door.

By now, I could tell it was Charlie. He had a cop knock. My hand rested on the latch as I took a deep breath, masking the nerves as best I could.

I plastered a smile on my face, pulling the door open. "Hey, dad! Excited to have an apartment for a while?"

Charlie entered, setting his suitcase down. "Beats the hotel the station was paying for."

I threw my arms around him, giving him a hug. "I'm going to miss you. Promise me that if you have to go back to Forks you'll let me know. I will come home right away and deal with it."

He chuckled. "Oh I doubt it. I've got a lot of work going on around here, doubt they'll need me back in Forks any time soon."

We talked a little bit more, and I gave him the keys. It was very final, and my nerves had settled in completely as I realized what I was doing. I hadn't been away from Charlie since my last visit to the hospital. After we said goodbye, I had a serene sense of peace.

Although I knew that Edward didn't want to change me, and that he would always say no, there was still something inside of me that told me this was the last time I was going to see Charlie alive.

I hoped I was right. Morbid isn't it?

---

I pulled up the long driveway to the Cullen house, my hands shaking. Alice bounded down the steps, wrapping me in a hug before I could even get out.

"Oh Bella! I know things are weird right now. I promise—you're home," she said. I blew out a deep breath I didn't know I had been holding.

Alice was a tornado, but she was grounding in a way that no one else could be. She was right, we were becoming the best of friends.

We walked up the steps to the house, and I marveled in its glory for the last time.

"Ah, Bella. I feel so lucky to have you joining our adventures. You're going to love Alaska." Carlisle grabbed my hand with his overlapping. His sincere eyes put me at ease as well.

He was not so much the father figure, as much as the leader of the group. I could feel that even I felt a certain pull to him that wanted to follow whatever he said. It was powerful, and probably beneficial in his field of work.

"Thank you, Carlisle. Where's Edward?" I asked, looking around him. Rosalie was sitting on the couch ignoring me, as usual. Esme was putting dust covers over various items. Her hands blurred just a bit with the speed she was moving at.

"They're hunting, and I'm sure he will be sprinting home the moment he catches your scent. Maybe he will eat you, and we can all get it over with." Rosalie said, her voice flat.

"Ignore her Bella." Alice tugged on my arm, pulling me up the stairs to her room. "Now," she pulled me in front of her closet. "I've grabbed a few things to get your wardrobe started. I was thinking, casual chic. What do you think?"

I gave her a strange look, shrugging my shoulders. "I don't know anything. Why don't you just tell me what to wear, and if it's comfortable then I'll go with it."

She clapped excitedly, before buzzing around the closet like a bee. Before long, her hands were stacked full. She pushed me off to the side, setting them all in one of the five suitcases that sat on her bed.

"Are you really taking all of this?" I asked.

Alice's mouth popped open in shock. "Bella, yes. Stop that nonsense. You don't understand, we are moving to Alaska, but we will be travelling to other places on vacations, adventures, lots of things. So that you get the full human experience before…" She trailed off, her mouth clamping shut.

"Before what?"

She ignored me, her eyes going wide.

I grabbed her arm. "Before what, Alice?" I demanded.

She looked like she was going to burst, her cheeks filling with air. She blew it out, "alright, I'll tell you. But you have to swear you won't tell Edward anything."

I traced my finger over my lips, metaphorically sealing them shut.

Alice looked around, nervous. "Okay. Carlisle and Esme are in the workshop, and Rosalie isn't paying attention. If I tell you this, you must swear to never bring it up again. I have been keeping the vision from Edward in my mind."

I nodded eagerly. "Tell me."

She hesitated, before spilling it out so fast I almost didn't catch it. "I saw you as a vampire."

Alice saw me as a vampire? Me? This was the best news I could have heard. I was going to get my wish, and there was nothing Edward was going to do to stop me.

I smiled, smug. " 'Kay. Your secret is safe with me."

I grinned even wider, sitting on the bed in a daze. I would get my forever with Edward.

A shirt smacked into my face. "Stop that! He will know I said something to you if you don't act normal."

"Can you tell me one thing? Does he do it? Is he happy…does he regret—"

"I'm going to stop you right there. My vision doesn't work like that. All I saw was that you were one. I didn't see anyone, or anything else. Now if you could please act normal for the time being, I would appreciate it." She scolded me, turning up her nose before going into the closet. I caught the small upturn of her lips, so she wasn't mad at me.

I suppressed a giggle as I walked around the room. It was strange because I really didn't know much about Edward's family individually, yet I felt like I knew them already.

Alice's room was just…Alice. There were half covered paintings laying in the corner, and various trinkets throughout the room. It was very modern, and eclectic. Just what I would expect.

"Edward's here!" Alice sang from the inside of the closet. I wasn't even through the door to the hall before I was swept up into his arms. His breath tickled my neck as his nose skimmed me. "I hate having to leave you. It will never get easier." He whispered, sending chills down my spine.

I tried not to roll my eyes at his dramatics. He was so somber now that he was a vampire. An Eeyore in real life. I bit my tongue instead of spitting out a biting comment about how it didn't have to be this way.

"Let's go pack up your room." I said to him, turning out of his grasp.

He smirked, and chuckled. "I-uh, already cleaned up my room. And so did everyone else. We are ready to go, if you are."

My brows furrowed, and I looked around, peeking back into Alice's room. Everything was now covered up, and the suitcases were gone. I went back down the stairs and saw everything covered, and all the lights off.

"What—" I glanced outside. There were four vehicles lined up, Emmett's jeep, a black car, red car, and a dark blue car. My truck was gone. I patted my pockets, and my keys were gone too.

"We packed it away in the garage, don't worry. Your luggage is packed too. We are going to take the Porsche. Are you ready?"

I raised a brow. " Yes, I am. But, which one is that?"

He smirked again, chuckling. "The blue one."

---

The drive was luxurious, relaxing, and completely over the top.

Alice had an entire gift basket waiting in the backseat of the car. It was filled with a dozen snacks and drinks, magazines, and other various things. It was a little insane.

I didn't even really notice that we were in a car for two days, there was so much to do. Edward had created a personal list of our favorite bands back when we were teens. I tried not to cry, but failed, like always.

Most of all, I loved just talking with Edward. It was awkward at first, because he told me that his whole family could hear us. But, he mentioned that they could also hear the surrounding cars as well. I forgot after a while. I also frequently forgot that Edward could read other people's thoughts. I felt bad for him—it had to be loud.

I asked him about that, and we talked a lot about being a vampire. And what other people thought about, how it was different for him.

We made a game where I would look at people and try to guess what they were thinking. It passed the time the most.

We also talked a little bit about what I did while he was gone. I tried to avoid the topic of Jake as much as possible, after everything, but it was hard. He had taken up the majority of my life, and stitched me back together. I found my mind kept drifting back to how it all went down, and I was starting to feel guilty about it.

I pushed the guilt as far back into my mind as I could manage, trying to forget about him. It wasn't my concern anymore. Any more energy spent on that would be wasted.

When we pulled up to the driveway, I was not even close in imagining what it looked like. It was a mansion, at best. I almost questioned if we would ever need this much space, but I guess we did.

It was definitely newer than the Victorian home. The windows on this house were from floor to ceiling. It was an hour out of town, which felt a lot farther than their last house, but Edward said it was the same distance.

It was on the side of a mountain, tucked away from everywhere else. There was a never ending view of the peaks of the mountains buried under snow. The spots the sun touched before anything else. The sky was blue, and orange like a creamsicle.

In an instant, I felt at peace with my decision.

We rolled down the windows, inhaling the crisp air that made my lungs burn. I loved it. Edward did too, I could tell. His hand didn't leave mine the whole drive, but he squeezed it as we pulled up. He grinned at me, kissing my knuckles.

"Every time that we came up here, I would think of you. The snow, soft like your skin. I would always think about how your face lit up when the first snow of the season fell."

His brow furrowed for a moment, and he almost looked sad before he turned to me and grinned. He was excited.

I could tell that Jasper and Alice were too. So was Emmett, but he always was trying to be tame for Rosalie. Mostly because she hated me so much. If Emmett and I had anything in common, or talked to one another at all then she would lose it. I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to kill me one day, honestly. It sucked, because it felt like being close to Emmett was a time of the past, and he was a good friend.

Alice skipped over to me, arm linked with Rosalie. "Alright, so we are going to give you the tour. Right Rosalie?"

She glared at me, ignoring Alice. I knew what Alice was doing, and I wish she wouldn't.

I put on a brave face anyway, smiling up at them both.

"Yeah, sure that sounds great."

Alice took me in her other arm, dragging me through the giant front doors.

This house took my breath away. The light from the day brightened the inside of the house. It refracted off of Alice and Rosalie's skin, setting the hall alight with sparkles. The grandiose ceilings, the bright walls and pale wood worked together to create a serene environment. Nothing I ever thought would be a vampire's home.

Alice tugged me and Rosalie around the house, pointing out Esme's style and her own. I feigned interest, while Rosalie ignored us both.

We were walking up the stairs, seeing a split of three levels. The first floor was Carlisle and Esme's.

"There's a library at the end of this hallway. I know you like to read, so Edward picked out some of your favorites to keep in there. I'm sure Carlisle would love to show you his organization system so you can find them best." She went up to the next level. "Oh! This is just my favorite. So the left side is mine, and the right side is Rose and Em's. I let you decorate your own, Rose. But your living room was Esme's doing."

Without another word, Rosalie was gone. I heard a door slam shut somewhere further away.

Alice sighed, "well I tried. Don't take it personal, Bella. Some people are just as icy cold as their skin!" She yelled down the hall towards where Rosalie went.

"Let's go," she said.

When we got to the top level, I could see that it was smaller, but brighter than anywhere else in the house. The windows touched the ceiling on the entire back side of the house, and I could see the frosted tips of the trees just reaching the bottom of the window. There was a deck from outside, though I couldn't see how to get to it.

The living room was perfect. Alice knew my love for deep, rich browns. It made the room feel alive, and cozy. I sighed with contentment, running my fingers over a giant fluffy blanket that sat on the edge of the couch.

"You like it?" Alice squeaked from the back.

I couldn't hide my grin. I felt like a princess, and this was a dream. "I love it." I turned to her, giving her the tightest hug I could. "Thank you, Alice."

She chuckled. "Well don't thank me yet. You haven't seen the bedroom yet. But, I'll let Edward do that. I'm going to go unpack!" She pecked me on the cheek before dashing off.

I sighed, walking around the room in amazement. This was my life now? How could that be?

A quick breeze blew a few strands of hair across my face. I smiled, giggling. "You should know better than to sneak up on me." I said, feeling his iron arms lock around me.

He buried his face in my hair. "Mm, I wasn't even trying." He kissed my cheek, lingering close. "Isn't it lovely? I never thought I would be here with you. You. The most beautiful woman that has ever walked the earth. Now, the skies look brighter. Only because you are here, enhancing them."

His lips grazed my knuckles as he kissed them, my heart triple the speed it ever should be.

He smirked, knowing what he was doing, and dragged me through light oak double doors to our room.

It was easily the size of the living room, and looked about the same. But, I wasn't worried about that now.

I captured his lips with mine, throwing my arms around him. Maybe if I did that, then he wouldn't stop us this time.

He groaned into my mouth, shaking me to my core. I broke away, trying to catch my breath as my head spun. His hands gripped my hips almost painfully, pushing and yet pulling me closer. I could feel the internal fight he had inside of him.

"Bella…you can't do that." He scolded.

"I can't what? Kiss you? I'm sorry." I whispered to him, my lips only millimeters away from his. "I won't."

I released him from my grip, turning to the several suitcases that sat beside a door next to the bed. He groaned again, this time in anguish.

"You don't understand—"

"You're too strong. I know." I finished for him.

If he would change me, this wouldn't be an issue, I screamed in my head. I thought of Alice's words, then shoved the feeling away.

It would happen. Alice said it would happen. All in good time.

I walked through the doors, seeing a closet and bathroom but not exactly seeing them. It was all by definition, perfect. But I couldn't help but let my mind wander into the reality that these very well could be my last days as a human. It was all daydreams, for now.

The smell of onion and chicken floated up the steps. My stomach grumbled in response, and I realized how hungry I was just then. Especially for something that wasn't a snack, or fast food. We had been laying in bed, and I had napped for a bit. Turns out, being a passenger princess was still just as taxing as being the driver.

Edward sniffed the air, "mm. So much better than the smell of fries and burgers. Never thought I would say that."

I raised a brow. "And you said you can't read minds?"

Downstairs, Esme was cooking with a wistful smile. Carlisle leaned against the counter, watching her with all the admiration in the world. I slowed as I walked in, feeling like an intruder on their moment.

They heard me of course. "Hello, Bella." Carlisle said without looking away. I walked to the island, sitting at one of the barstools.

Esme turned around, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Oh hi, sweetie. Your food is just about done."

"I can cook for myself, you know. I don't want you to feel like you have to feed me this whole time." I commented.

Esme frowned, her brows furrowing. "I don't mind. I hope you don't think I do, because this is one of the best parts of my day. If I could cook all day long, I would."

Edward came bounding down the steps before I could think of anything else to say.

He flashed a grin at me and winked, turning my stomach to butterflies.

Carlisle missed our interaction, and started asking him about the car we drove here. They chatted a while before turning to Esme and me.

"We are going to go hunt with Em and Rose." Edward said, decidedly. My heart sank a little. They were always gone for so long, and I couldn't help but feel a little bit left out.

Edward came over to be, his hands cupping my face before he gave me a delicate kiss. So light, it felt like a feather.

"I'll be back soon, my love." He whispered to me. Then I blinked, and they were gone.

I let out a deep sigh. Esme gave me a look, plating whatever magnificent concoction she created today. My stomach growled again.

"He rushes to get back to you, you know. I didn't know someone could drain a deer in three seconds." She chuckled, making me smile. "He will be back soon. Promise." She said, handing the plate to me. She leaned on the counter, putting her head in her hand.

The first bite melted in my mouth. I could have cried. It was so delicious. "Mm. This is amazing. Why don't you become a chef?"

Esme threw her head back, laughing. "I don't think I could stand to taste multiple dishes a day, but thank you. I love to cook. But only for people who are really going to appreciate the work that goes into it. And, I want things to be easy for you. We all want that." Her voice dropped lower, like she was almost sad about admitting that. I slowed chewing, my appetite waning. I felt bad for them. That they were trying so hard, and I was happy with so little. "Esme… why are you all trying so hard? I don't want to be an inconvenience and I'm so hap—"

She put her hand on my arm. "You don't inconvenience us. It's the opposite actually. We feel a great deal of guilt taking you away like this. We want to make it as easy as possible for you. With everything you and Edward have gone through… I never thought there would be a day that I got to meet the infamous Bella Swan that he was so enamored with." Her eyes were filled with sincerity.

"But…I'm better. He is better. It's okay, you know. You don't need to put so much pressure on yourselves."

She laughed again. "Oh Bella, that's enough. It's not pressure. We haven't been able to do something like this ever before. It's…fun. Believe it, or not." She paused, her eyes watching my face. "Do you know what happened? Afterwards?"

I nodded. "Some."

Esme pursed her lips. "Hm. I don't know if it's for me to say really, but what he told you in the car was barely the truth. If he told you anything else, I'm not sure—either way. It wasn't that simple. Not the way he described it. Yes, he struggled. But much more than you think."

The truth was that Edward hadn't told me a whole lot about how he acted during those days. I knew how he felt, and his personal perspective on it. But not what the other's thought.

Esme continued.

"When he got here… he was delirious for days. We couldn't get a word out of him. All he would say is your name, and that he was lost. He would cry—it was an anguished wail. We can't shed tears, so he would just make this horrific sound. Choking on the unshed tears almost. All we wanted was for him to feel better. Jasper would calm him sometimes, but most of the time he would stay in his room and wail. Once he was coherent, he would whisper to himself constantly. Soothing himself sometimes, but other times he would talk to you." She sighed, staring off into the forest line.

"At first, we thought that you had died. Or, that he had killed you. It was almost a year before he could talk about you without getting choked up."

My eyes filled with tears, threatening to spill.

Alice waltzed in, sitting on the counter next to Esme and I. She smiled wide. "Stop talking about such sad things! Bella, that's why we are so happy. He is so happy. We have never seen him like this. This is much better than the Edward we knew. Turns out he's not just a secluded, antisocial vampire. We want things to be perfect for you."

"But why? I don't need perfection." I said.

There was a large slam from somewhere in the upper levels of the house. Alice rolled her eyes, giving Esme a look.

Esme shook her head. "Rose doesn't agree, but we want you to be part of this family just as much as the rest of us. We want to…impress you, so maybe you will want to stay with Edward forever. I know it's not our place. Edward scolded us many times—"

My heart skipped a beat. "Like a vampire? Change me?"

Esme nodded, her eyes careful. "Yes. We all agree, aside from Rose and Edward. Edward didn't want this for you. So much so that when we found out you were alive, we wanted to come to you right away. That was a while ago. He still didn't want to interrupt your life, even now. I know he feels guilty about it. But he wouldn't leave Seattle permanently. He said that he wanted to just be near you. He didn't need to see you. It was so sad. So, Emmett and Alice devised a plan."

"Esme stop, you're going to make her cry." Alice snapped, scooping me into a hug.

The tears that sat in my eyes began pouring out. I couldn't stop them. Hearing about how sad he had been. That he had been like me. And that he didn't want me to know…my insides twisted. I wanted to comfort him right now more than anything.

"B-but you guys don't understand." I looked up at them. "I wasn't living a life. I didn't have anything. There's no reason to impress me because I already do want to be part of your family. Forever. I spent each day hoping it would be my last, or that Charlie would leave me alone long enough that I could eventually put myself out of my own misery. I told everyone that I was fine but… I couldn't stop thinking about him, wishing that Jake was him. It was terrible. The worst part of my life. Please believe I do want to be a part of this family. More than anything. He doesn't want me to be a vampire, and Rose too, but—"

Rosalie's face was inches from mine then, her perfume filled hair stuffing up my nose in a wave.

"You don't know anything. You don't belong here. Go live your human life with your human friends."

Alice scolded her from behind. "Rose! Can you please not ruin this? Please?"

Her head snapped to Alice. "Shut up. You know nothing, because you don't even remember anything about being a human!" She turned back to me now. "You have an entire life. And you waste your time with this? With us? You want to be one of us? Good luck. It will ruin everything you've ever wanted. Just because you thought your pathetic little human life wasn't enough, doesn't mean you aren't going to regret it later. You will."

She was gone again before I could say anything. Alice and Esme were both hiding their faces in their hands, shaking their heads.

Alice huffed dramatically. "Don't take it personally. She is always like this. If she would just sit and explain it to you—whatever. She won't, so I will. She didn't want to be a vampire, like Edward. We weren't changed by choice either, but they both are disdainful of our life more than the rest of us."

"I can understand that. I don't like being a human, and I wasn't given a choice about it. Had I been given one, I definitely would have chosen vampire over human. There's nothing wrong with that, I don't think."

There were more crashes from upstairs. Alice and Esme winced. "Maybe, don't say that to her. Good point though." Alice said.

She hopped off of the counter, holding her hand out to me. "Let's go shopping! I want to get out of here for a while."

I tried to hide my dismay. Alice had too much energy for shopping. Energy I didn't have.

Still, I grabbed her hand and let her pull me from store to store for hours.

It had been six months since Edward had entered my life. Three months since I moved in with his family. And, it was perfect.

Well, as perfect as it could be for a human, anyway.

His hand brushed against my temple, lulling me to a drowsy state with his calming touch.

We had been laying there on our bed for hours now, basking in the bright sun that glittered through the window. I could see the rainbow of colors that bounced off of him through my eyelids.

Today he would go on a three day long hunting trip with the boys for Jasper's birthday.

I was excited to spend time with everyone, except Rosalie. She didn't want to be here in the first place, and begged Emmett to let her go with them instead. He said no, of course.

That had caused an episode, and we didn't see her for two days.

Not only that, but she had been avoiding me even more than before, and now avidly wouldn't even cross paths with me. If it weren't for hearing her fights with Emmett, I would have a hard time believing she even lived here.

I tried to stay out of her way too. Most of the time Edward and I would stay up in our room when he told me that the rest of his family was downstairs together. If I did go downstairs, she would leave, so I stayed up here. It wasn't so bad, just…tense.

"I'm going to miss you. Do you really think you'll be alright here?" Edward's velvet voice whispered.

I opened my eyes, blinded by the bright silhouette of him. The sun slipped behind some clouds, leaving the sparkle to a light sheen.

I could see his dark gooey amber eyes. They were a deep honey now, and appeared to be darkening by the hour.

His brow was furrowed with concern. I reached out, smoothing out the lines.

"You worry too much. I will be fine. Esme and Alice are—"

"Bella…" he tucked a hair behind my ear, leaning in closer. "You know that's not what I mean. Rosalie is not easy to deal with, and I'm worried."

I sat up, leaning back on my hands. "Well, don't be. I'm excited to get time with them. And maybe…maybe she will come around. Then we can finally all hang out with Emmett. I miss our talks. I used to…talk about you with him."

Edward nodded. "I know, love. I want Emmett back too. Maybe you're right and you will make up. Alice doesn't see much though." He sat up, throwing his arm over me. "It's probably nothing, but she just can't see as much as she usually can. I guess I'm nervous to leave you alone, without my protection."

I shrugged him off. "You're worrying an awful lot. Things will be fine, and I don't need your protection."

He smiled, giving me a deep kiss. One of want and need. Then he was gone. For the next three days, at least.

---

I sat on Alice's bed, watching her mini fashion show with all of her new clothes. I was looking out the window, watching the snowflakes fall down in sweet cushioned silence. Last night wasn't anything special. But today was a different story.

Tonight, Alice wanted a night with all of us. Together.

"Bella! Are you listening to me?"

I looked over at Alice. Her mouth was open in shock. I gave a sheepish smile. "Hm. Yeah—Sorry?"

She rolled her eyes. "For tonight I have puzzles, nail polish, and face masks!"

I cringed on the inside, but hid it from her. I knew better than to tell Alice no about this type of stuff. My heart couldn't take how wide and sad her eyes were if I said no.

"Great. That will be fun." My tone was flat, but I tried to use a smile to recover.

We went downstairs, and Rosalie was sitting on the couch. I wrestled the gut reaction I had to go up to my room and hide from her.

She didn't look up from her magazine as Alice bounced on the seat next to hers.

"Come on! We are going to have the best night! Rose, put it away. We are starting the night off early. First, we are going to do your favorite…puzzles!" Alice clapped, trying to encourage her.

Rosalie looked up over her magazine, raising a brow. "The only puzzles I'm interested in are ones that involve the inside of cars."

"Well, it's not the inside of a car, but it has cars in it. Fun, don't you think?"

Rosalie slammed her magazine down, glaring at Alice. "Stop it, okay? I'm not interested in spending any sort of time with you and her." Her eyes flitted to me. "Everyone can pretend that things are fine, but I won't."

She moved to stand, and before I could think I reached out for her arm. "Wait. Don't just leave. Tell me what's not fine about…this."

Her eyes narrowed, her mouth turning down in the corners. She was still like a statue.

"Fine." She said, sitting down. She folded one knee over the other, perching her hands on top. She lifted her chin, turning her face away from me. "I'll only tell you what I think if you swear that you will not put a single finger on me ever again. Unless you want to die, of course."

I nodded, sitting up straight. I glanced at Alice, who was watching the interaction with a curious expression.

Rosalie cleared her throat. "I think you're an idiot. I think you're shallow. I think you put us in danger. And, I think you're boring."

My mouth fell open in shock. I snapped it shut, trying to process what she just said. So, that was her issue? "Okay." I said.

Her brows furrowed, her nose wrinkling. "Okay? I insult you and that's all you have to say?"

I shrugged. "Well, I want to know how I put you guys in danger. The rest is superficial."

Alice giggled. Rosalie glared at me.

"You put us in danger just by your existence. Humans aren't supposed to know about vampires. If anyone found out that we were keeping a human that knew our secret…we would all be killed." Her eyes filled with tears then. "I've seen it. This isn't something I feel like risking my existence over."

I felt like I could scream it from the rooftops, and no one would hear me. "So then change me. Someone do it, and then we can be done with it." I whined.

Rosalie tossed her head back in a maniacal giggle. "Oh Bella, it's not that simple. Newborns are insatiable. Uncontrollable. All you will want is blood for the first year, and you will do anything in your power to get it. How much would you like to babysit someone for a year straight? To teach someone how to put clothes on without ripping them? How to move at a speed that a human would? To breathe in the fresh scent of running blood and not feast on it?" She scoffed. "You have no idea. And that is exactly why I think you're an idiot."

My stomach sank. I didn't know what to think. It wasn't that I was afraid of being a newborn, or how I would feel. But I didn't want to burden anyone, especially Edward. That must be why he didn't want to change me. It would be too much. I would be too much.

I sank in on myself, feeling the pit in my stomach form that would stay there until I could ask Edward himself if that was the reason.

"Face it Bella. Yes, Edward was once your love. But you guys are different now. Too different. You should go back to your human life. Live a little. You don't do anything, ever. Edward deserves someone who is like him." Rosalie spit out.

Alice scoffed, standing up. "That's enough. I can't believe you, Rose." She turned to me. "Bella, it's not true. I will change you, if Edward won't. You are right for him, and I stand by it. I don't care what anyone else says. I've seen you as a vampire for months before I even met you in person. Jasper and I will take care of you. The only person that is bothered by a newborn being in the house is Rosalie. Okay?"

My heavy heart felt just an ounce lighter with her reassurance. Alice would make it happen. Maybe I was right to think that I would end up a vampire after all.

Alice shot a glare at Rose, snatching the magazine from her lap. "Don't steal my Vogue!" She cried, turning to reach out her hand to me. "Let's go."

She pulled me out of the room to the staircase when there were three heavy knocks on the front double doors.

I stopped, and so did Alice. We turned to it slowly.

"Did you see this?" I asked, whispering. Her eyes were wide as she shook her head, approaching the door. She cracked it open, and I could only see a sliver of bright ice colored hair.

"Tanya." Alice shifted, closing the door even more and shifting so she blocked me from view..

There was a long silence.

"What is that?" The woman whispered. Her voice carried in a hiss through the entire entrance.

Alice chuckled, her delicate voice like wind chimes. "What do you mean?"

"You know what she means." Another voice said.

In an instant the door was open, and there were three tall blondes looming over me. Their eyes were the same bright amber shade as the Cullens. I cringed back, taking a step up the stairs.

Alice was in front of me, her hands raised up. "Let us explain before you assume."

"A human? What is a human doing here? Her scent permeates the air. She has been here for a while now."The girls murmured in simultaneous agreement.

Rosalie ran into the room, her eyes wide and frightened like a deer caught in the headlights. She looked directly at me. "I told you that this could happen. I have no part in this, Kate. I swear."

The curly haired blonde stepped closer to me, looking me up and down. "She knows? How long have you known, human?"

Esme rushed down the stairs, her hand resting on my shoulder.

"Girls." She smiled, her tone the same as Carlisle's. She gestured to the living room. "Let's sit. We have much to discuss."

The same one spoke again. "No. I don't think we will. You owe us an explanation. Surely you and Carlisle are not involved too?"

I looked back to Esme, who nodded. "We are. I have called Carlisle, and he will be with us shortly."

The three women let out a low hiss. "He is involved?" One asked. "How could you? This puts us in danger. If the Volturi—"

Esme held up a hand. "The Volturi are being accounted for. Now if you'll please come sit. I will explain everything."

Esme sat me down between her and Alice. I noticed they were crowding closer than they ever had before. We sat in silence for what felt like hours.

The women didn't sit, instead two of them stood, and one of them began pacing in front of the large open windows. I watched the fluffy snow fall from outside, instead of watching the dizzying circles she was doing.

"So, you're telling me that this is the infamous Bella. Edward's lost love we thought was dead." The tallest one said.

Alice smiled softly, looking at me. "Yes. She is our sister now. She's a part of the family just as much of the rest of us. Do you see?"

"She will become one of you then? When?" Her mouth turned down with upset.

It was Esme that spoke now, which surprised me. "Yes, she will. Carlisle and I needed to discuss with Edward, but it will have to be sooner now due to your knowledge." She turned to me now. "Do you understand that this will have to happen now?"

My stomach flipped at her statement. "Yes. I understand."

The curly haired blonde scoffed. "This is hardly the way to go about it. You can not willingly bring a human into these circumstances. It's inhumane. The girl doesn't know what she wants, or how difficult it is."

"Exactly. Aro would be interested to know about what you're doing up here. Maybe I should pay him a visit?" Another one said.

"Irina. That's enough." A calming, deep voice resonated through the room.

Carlisle set his leather work bag on a nearby table, his sleeves rolled up to his forearms. "Ladies. I think this may have gotten out of control." His gestures were open, and relaxing.

"Carlisle, what have you done? Told someone about us? You're going to subject someone to this life?" Irina, the tallest one replied.

"If that is what Isabella wishes. It is not for me to decide." He stated.

"She can not stay human if she knows of us."

The other's agreed. In unison. I couldn't stand to see any of them going to such lengths to protect me on something like this.

I stood up, grabbing the immediate attention of those in the room. The golden, beady eyes waited eagerly for my words, which started to stumble in my mind.

"I-I um, hi." I waved.

It was pitiful and awkward, making me want to shrink inside of myself. "I just wanted to say that I do want to be a vampire. It doesn't really matter if you talk to Edward or not. I will feel the same way. I know he doesn't support it, but Alice was just saying she was willing to care for me…so if she still is, then let's do it." I sat down, and stood up again immediately. "And, one more thing—Don't act like I'm not here. I know I'm just a human, but luckily, I'm not an idiot. Believe it or not." I shot a glare at Rosalie once before sitting down.

The room was silent for a beat.

Then the curly hair one chuckled, her head cocking to the side. "Well well, little human. I don't believe I have encountered anyone so willing to be in a room full of vampires. Wishing to be a vampire."

I blinked, and she was inches from my face.

"Didn't even flinch. What a peculiar creature you are." She said, her hand reaching up and running down my cheek. She looked at my face with curious eyes as my cheeks heated under her scrutiny.

"That's enough, Kate." Carlisle stepped between us, pushing her hand down.

Kate smiled up at him. "Oh Carlisle, do not be so tiresome. I figure if we are to keep your secret, then I should be able to look as close to the human as I wish. I do not see them often, you know this."

Her sisters gasped, looking at her with shock. Irina spoke first, "We will not."

Kate's head snapped around to her. "Hush. She is to be a vampire soon enough, can you not see? And who are we to deny poor Eddie boy his one true love?" She laughed, "Or, is it because perhaps you are jealous that this is who catches the eye of him?"

She glanced back at me, laughing again. "Oh, she was very interested in him the last time they came to visit. I do wish to see how this all turns out." She grinned eagerly.

Irina was stone still, but her face was filled with calm rage. The words of her sister had sunk deeper than I thought. Had I really made an enemy over Edward? My Edward?

But…had he been interested in her?

The pile of questions I now had to ask him were turning into a mountain. A mountain that I wasn't too sure I could pass over successfully without bumps and bruises. Only a little over a day, and I would have my answers.

The sisters bickered while Carlisle and Esme let out a deep breath of relief upon being reunited. Rosalie was already upstairs. Alice gestured for me to join her next to Esme.

Carlisle smiled at me. "Bella, we will have to discuss things sooner rather than later, I'm afraid." He looked at the sisters.

Esme reached out grabbing my hand. "It will be fine. They will be gone by tonight. Why don't you and Alice go upstairs, and I'll join you in a bit. Yeah?" She ushered us upstairs.

I slumped on my bed as Alice walked over to the balcony. "We really gave you the best view, you know? The top of the house, you can see for miles. The privacy…"

"Away from Rosalie." I added, pointing at her and closing my eyes.

I felt the bed move under her weight. "She's not all that bad, you know. She just…holds on to her humanity a lot more than the rest of us. I know you don't feel the same way as her, but she has a point. You can't deny that."

I shot up, my temper flaring. "What point? That I'm a burden to everyone? That this puts you all in danger?"

She chuckled, shaking her spiky hair. "No. I mean what she said about living your life. Have you done everything you want to?"

"Like what? What can I do as a human, that I can't as a vampire? Having kids is about the only thing I can think of. And, no thanks. Life isn't just about procreation. I want to be with Edward. I don't want to age when he won't. And it's not like I even have a choice anymore anyway. Decision made. Easy."

Alice just shook her head, her eyes gaining that distant, empty gaze.

"Tell me what you see. Are you looking for anything?"

She nodded. "Looking for you, and your vampire life. Looking for Edward, and the whole family. Looking for the Volturi." We sat in silence for a few minutes. The chatter of the sisters downstairs was still present.

She finally looked at me, smiling. "I see you, sitting with Edward on the couch. Your eyes are red and gleaming with excitement. I can't see much else. I don't think there will be a conflict with the Denali Clan."

My brows furrowed. "Who is the Denali Clan?"

She rolled her eyes. "The people downstairs, Bella. They won't go to the Volturi. But I don't know if they will leave either. They could be here until you change, or after."

My eyes went wide. "What?" The ever present pit in my stomach got even worse. So, now there were four Rosalie's instead of just one. Great.

---

I woke up to the sound of dishes clattering in the kitchen, and the smell of fresh coffee.

Tonight, Edward was coming home. I skipped down the steps, more happy than ever that I would get to see him soon.

That was, until I saw that there was a particular blonde in the kitchen, instead of the familiar chestnut hair of Esme. I skidded to a stop, raising a brow.

It was one of the blondes. Tanya was her name. At least, I think that's what Alice said.

She grinned at me. "Oh, hi." She was in front of me in an instant, holding out her hand. "I'm Tanya. I don't believe we've met."

She went back to the countertop, pulling out several appliances I didn't know we had. "Esme said that she usually makes you breakfast, so I figured I could do that to try to say I'm sorry."

I frowned, walking to the island and sitting on a stool. "Sorry? For what?"

"For my sisters…" She gave me a look, "and me. I was too quick to judge the issue, and for that I wanted to make amends." She shrugged, pulling out almost every ingredient from the fridge. I watched in silence as she set it all down, her eyes obviously scanning for whatever was going to go into the bowl in front of her first.

Settling for a carton of eggs, she cracked three in her hand simultaneously. The shells crunched, and the yellow yolks dripped from her hands into the bowl all together. I tried to control my expression as I realized this was a vampire who had no idea how to cook.

"Um- well. It's okay I—" I watched in alarm as she put three spoonfuls of blueberry yogurt, and two spoonfuls of mayo into her egg mixture.

I shook my head. "Don't be sorry, really. In fact, you shouldn't feel bad at all. Your reaction was normal, and to be expected. You don't need to make anything up to me. Promise."

Tanya let out a sigh of relief, setting the cup and spoon down. "Oh thank god. I am so relieved to hear that. Because, you know, I've always wanted to have a friend that's a human. We can be friends, can't we? I don't think there's anything wrong with you all, unlike Irina. And, you're going to be a vampire soon, so it's kind of like a double win. Right?" She cut up some sausages and put them in the bowl.

My head spun, trying to keep up with the speed of her words. I was pretty sure I understood most of it. She wanted to be my friend.

This was great news. One less Rosalie to deal with was music to my ears. So, I nodded my head, plastering my most excited smile on my face. "Yes. Friends sounds fantastic."

"Yes! A human friend! So, what do humans do in the morning?" She watched me with eager eyes, while pouring the murderous concoction into the sizzling pan.

I couldn't hide the horror in my expression as my eyes went wide the moment the scent touched my nostrils. It was horrible. I don't know what she did to it that I didn't see, but it smelled rancid, and burnt.

Tanya's face blanched as she watched the mixture bubble up and 'cook'. She looked up at me with wide orbs for eyes. "What happened? It was perfect!"

Esme came into the room then, scanning the kitchen. She looked at Tanya, disbelief in her eyes. "What did you do to my kitchen?" A smile played at the corner of her lips as she chastised Tanya. "I thought you said you knew how to cook." She laughed, shaking her head. She took the pan off of the stove, dumping the steaming remnants into the trash. "Bella, don't think you're innocent in this. You should have stopped her!"

Tanya ran off, laughing. I smiled at Esme, shrugging. "She was trying to be nice! I couldn't say no!" I laughed.

---

With Tanya on my side, it made the day go by even quicker. Alice and Tanya were already friends, but now it felt like we were a unit. That I had definite people on my side.

As it rounded to three o'clock I was starting to get jittery at the idea of seeing Edward again. Then, the problems with Rosalie and the others would melt away.

I mean, I knew they wouldn't really. But at least I could pretend they weren't happening. For just a little while.

I hid in my room the rest of the time, curled up in the furthest corner of the couch. Waiting for Edward was torture. Did he like Irina? Did he not want me to be a burden, so he didn't want me to become a vampire? The questions nagged and nagged, never ceasing.

At some point, I drifted off.

I felt a soft hand stroking my face. "Wake up my love, I'm home."

My eyes bolted open, and I sat up. Edward's perfect auburn hair sat tousled in his eyes. I reached out, swiping it away to see the bright golden irises that dove into my soul.

His hand, ever so gently, traced my face while the other pulled me into his lap.

"My love. My sweet. My goddess." He whispered in my ear, his words tangling into my hair as we kissed and embraced.

No reunion would ever feel sweeter than seeing his face again. After so long.

I traced his brow bone, smoothing the dents where he worried. His skin felt like silk on my fingertips, and I wanted for more. So, so much more.

I ground against him, feeling his hardness. My stomach fluttered with anticipation and need.

Then, he pulled away and slid me off of his lap.

"Bella…"

I leaned forward, shushing him with my finger against his lips. "No. No, Edward. Just kiss me. I won't ask for more. Just…be with me."

He panted, his eyes looking pained at my request. He looked up at the sky, as if to ask it why.

"Bella…I can't. I can't risk hurting you."

I wanted to pout. I missed him so much. And every time he felt too real, he would dissolve from my grasp. But, it was his choice. And maybe it would make him want to change me more.

So, I nodded, staying silent on the topic. But, I wasn't going to let any of the rest of it go.

I pursed my lips, trying to stay casual. I picked at the pills on my sweatpants, avoiding his gaze. "So… you know about the situation here?"

"Mm. Depends what you mean. I can tell you I know the Denali Sisters are here. I know that they aren't going to kill you, or report us. I know Irina wants to talk to me, so I assume you want to talk to me about her. And… Alice says that she has seen you as a vampire."

"Okay… what do you think about that." I asked, too anxious to look at him still. I knew he could hear my heartbeat too, and it was going haywire.

He paused. I think my heart skipped a beat. He leaned forward, his hands taking mine.

"Bella, look at me." I looked up, his mesmerizing gaze searching mine. "I know what Rose said, okay? I know how she feels about this. But—I don't know. I just don't feel that way, at least not anymore."

He stood up, running his hand through his hair as he started to pace. "I was thinking these past three days. A lot. At first, I wanted you to be human. I was thinking of ways to let you integrate back into your human life. I didn't want to be your secret forever, but I wanted you to be happy. So, then I asked myself— Would you actually be happy? And here's the thing. I know you wouldn't be." He let out a deep breath, sitting down again and pulling me into his arms so our noses almost touched. "So, it's your choice. I can't make it for you. But you must understand all of the repercussions. If you still want to be changed, I will do it. I will take care of you. You will never be a burden to me. You never could be. But if you change your mind…" He grew somber. "Then I swear to you that I will spend every moment of your human life protecting you and making sure that is what you get. I just want you to be happy, wherever it is."

At that moment, I wished that he could read my mind more than anything. I wanted him to hear and feel how much I loved him, and how my mind was made up a while ago. I wished he could see everything I said to his family in the living room. Maybe Alice can show him, I thought.

"Edward, I do want to be changed. You can tell me all about it and I'll listen, but it won't change anything. I actually had spent the past weekend thinking of ways to convince you to change me. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't a burden to you, and that this is what you wanted. I am happy. More happy than I ever have been, and ever could be. I promise. Can you just promise me this is also what you want?"

He laughed, the relief was tangible in the air. "That is the only thing that I want. It's selfish, and I don't know how to feel about that. But it is the only thing that I ever have dreamt about. I spent enough years without you."

My eyes brimmed with tears that I fought back. I didn't want them to ruin such a perfect moment.

I sighed. "Okay. So, we are in agreement. Which means we can tell the others. But first, we need to discuss Irina. What is going on with that? She likes you, or you guys had a thing?"

I was impressed at my ability to keep it so casual. I was jealous, I would admit that. I wouldn't be mad if he had hooked up with anyone else, but I want to know.

Edward's head bounced back, his laughter echoing off of the walls. "Oh, don't be jealous. I know you. It was nothing. She is just lonely, and was looking for someone to…help with that. I wasn't interested, but apparently she doesn't understand the word no."

My mouth popped open in shock. "Alright. Then I guess that answers all of my doubts. Should we go talk to Carlisle? I know he wanted to talk to me, but now since you agreed…"

I grabbed his hand, pulling on him. He chuckled, his head bowing in a way that reminded me of human Edward. The one I grew up with. We weren't exactly the same anymore. There was still a small stain of darkness after everything that happened.

In that moment, it gave me a spark of hope that maybe we could have that back.

He beamed up at me, heaving himself to stand. "Yes, alright. I do suppose it's time. I need to speak with Irina first, however."

---

I sat on the couch with everyone except for Edward and Irina.

He had made a spectacle out of asking to speak with her outside from vampire hearing. I wouldn't have been concerned if it was not for the stressed expressions of everyone around me, including Alice.

The only good thing about this was that for the first time in what felt like months, I was able to speak with Emmett. He sat next to me, Rosalie on the other side of him with her arms crossed.

Emmett leaned in close. "Spoke to Rose after I heard what happened. It won't be happening again little sis." He held up his fist, and I bumped it, nodding.

"Thank you, I guess? So, how was the trip?"

He sighed. "Interesting. Jasper spent most of the time trying to keep Edward calm, and I had to reason with him." He shrugged, "dunno. Things could have been better. And all of this would be a lot more simple if he would just change you and be done with it."

Carlisle spoke now. "Emmett, we can discuss this once we understand what's going on between Edward and Irina."

"Why?" I asked.

He looked surprised that I would question him. "It is because, Isabella, I will not discuss your vampirism when I heard Edward promise that he would do it. You and him must be able to fully understand the process and what occurs when doing so." He said in a matter-of-fact way that made us all quiet.

He had a point, I would give him that.

As if called upon, Edward and Irina stepped through the open sliding doors that lead to the forest. She looked upset, her mouth turned down. Edward looked stern at first. I watched his eyes search the room for me, and in an instant the upset melted into nothing. His eyes twinkled at me with adoration. I only blinked, and his arms wrapped around me as he snuggled into my side.

Edward nuzzled my neck, and I realized that everyone was staring. I paused, pushing him off and clearing my throat.

Carlisle held up his hands, gesturing in confusion. "So, are you going to tell us what is going on?"

"I'm leaving." Irina spoke, the words tumbling from her mouth. Her sisters looked at her with shock and confusion.

"Why?" Tanya whispered, but even I could hear it.

Carlisle interjected. "Irina, there is no reason for you to feel like you cannot stay with us. You are welcome—"

"No, she's not." Edward spoke up, his voice rumbled through his chest.

"Edward?" Esme asked.

He looked at Irina now, who looked out the window. "Should I tell them, or you?"

Irina didn't say anything aloud, but Edward rolled his eyes. Whatever she said in her mind, surely not pleasant.

"She was going to kill Bella."

I felt my eyes go wide, and I ducked my head, trying to keep them trained on my lap to keep from showing my surprise.

"You heard her thoughts?" Carlisle asked. "Irina, is this true?"

Edward shook his head, his arm tightening around me. "Not exactly. Alice saw a foggy vision, and I heard her making a vague decision. She hadn't decided how yet, but she was going to try to kill her. Ask Alice."

"Alice?"

I glanced up through my lashes. Alice nodded slowly. She looked troubled by the event. Jasper's hand massaged the back of her neck. "I saw it. It wasn't a fully formed decision like Edward said."

"But, why?" Tanya asked. "Why would you put us at risk? The alliance? I'm sorry, Edward. I don't agree with what she did. I pose no risk to your mate."

He nodded his head. "I understand. This is only about Irina. You and Kate are welcome to stay."

Irina huffed, turning around on her heel to face us. "No sister, do not leave on my part. Yes, I was going to kill you. I didn't want you to put us at risk. Until you are a vampire, you are a liability. I am concerned that Aro will find out, and we will all be killed before we know what is happening."

"But she is going to be changed, Irina. You did not need to even consider her death. Won't she?" Tanya asked, looking directly at Edward.

I hadn't expected this conversation to go this way. Right here, right now.

Edward sighed, sounding resigned still. "Yes, she will be—"

"Yes, but when. My concern is that you will all wait too long. Every one of you are much too attached to your mortality. You yourself are just short of a child in terms of the centuries we have lived. You do not know what a risk it is." Irina pointed out, her voice rising with anxiety.

I felt my heart clench. I understood it. I understood her point, and Rosalie's.

Edward sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I understand. That's why I am saying that you can leave. Do not be involved, and do not worry. She will be changed."

Irina rolled her eyes, throwing her hands up in defeat.

"I don't want to hear it. Any of you." He sighed again. "She doesn't even know how it happens. I will do it on my own time."

I looked around the room. Although they did not speak their thoughts, I knew what they were thinking.

"No," I spoke up. There was no way I was going to watch them all be torn apart by this. Not by me. I stood up. "Okay, listen up everyone. I don't like the way that this is all going down." I looked down at Edward. "I love you, but you don't need to do this. Not if you don't want to." I glanced at Alice, and she gave me an almost imperceptible nod.

"I'm going to be changed this week. Alice is going to do it, no matter what. There's no need to kill me, or report anyone. And, you can tell me how it all works later." I cut my hands through the air. "Fuck." I exhaled, my chest deflating. They all made way too big of a deal out of nothing.

I plopped onto the couch between Alice and Edward. Edward was staring at the floor in shock, his elbows resting on his knees. Alice gave me a quick squeeze, and quietly squealed in my ear.

Carlisle clapped his hands together. "Then it's decided. Bella," he gestured to me, "I welcome you to the Cullen Coven. The Denali sisters, you are welcome to stay still, if you wish. Irina if you wish to stay, you may. But you will not harm Bella. To save us all any stress, I will be writing to Aro to inform him of our newest member. He will be no short of delighted that Edward has found his mate." He glanced at his watch. "I need to get back to the hospital. I'll speak with you both soon." He looked between me and Edward before disappearing upstairs.

We all sat in the living room in silence. Well, except for Edward, who I'm sure had plenty of thoughts swarming around in his head. I felt relatively calm, given the circumstances. By the end of the week I would be a vampire, and have eternity with Edward.

---

"So, I'm going to be doing that for three days?" I crossed my legs and sat up straighter, trying to look professional and serious. The reality was that I have never looked serious in my entire life. I lived in sweatpants more than I've worn anything else. In fact, I was wearing them right now.

"Yes, Bella."

"And…it will be painful." I repeated. Honestly, I didn't care too much. One bite, three days. Fine.

I had been through worse things. I mean, what could feel worse than drowning, right? But, I didn't tell Edward or Carlisle that. Instead, I kept a serious but contemplative look on my face, masking my true feelings.

Thank god Edward couldn't read my mind. I'd be busted.

Carlisle and Edward were murmuring to each other some more about the details. We would start on Sunday. Today was Monday, so I still had loads of time.

I would tell Charlie that I am going to travel in Europe for a year. They agreed that I would be able to see him by then, if he wanted to meet up. Maybe he wouldn't and was enjoying our time away from each other. That also gave us enough time to figure out how to explain how I had changed. Like Edward and his family, I would be different. My appearance would shift, but I would still be me on the inside.

"Bella, are you sure?" Carlisle asked, his eyes searching mine.

I nodded, holding back an eye roll. I was one hundred percent sure.

Alice called my name from upstairs, and I tried not to sprint out of the room. "I'm gonna go see what she needs. You got this right Edward? Thanks!" I shut the door as fast as I could. They would drone on and on together for hours sometimes. They had to analyze every angle, every detail. I didn't understand it. There were more important things.

I started up the stairs, stopping at the top when I saw Emmet walking in his end of the hall.

He smiled at me and waved. My heart clenched painfully. I wanted to talk to him, and see what the hell he's been up to this whole time. Maybe after I'm changed, Rose will relax and start to like me.

"Bella!"

"—God Alice, don't be so loud—"

"Well, what if her human ears can't hear me?"

I opened the door, peeking around the corner. Alice was lounging on a couch in Jasper's library. He was sitting at his desk with mounds of books all around him. He arched a brow at me. Alice leaped up, pulling me down to sit beside her.

"Jasper said that you were tortured by the conversation upstairs, so I thought I would save you."

I glanced at Jasper, and the look he gave me now made sense. I was busted.

He leaned forward onto his forearms. "Think it'll be easy? I could sense a bit of…boredom, smartness. You seem to think that being changed will be nothing at all. Are you sure about that?" I had forgotten about his gift, and that he would be able to tell how I feel about his questions. How could I hide that? He would be able to tell if I lied.

I shrugged. "I don't think much is going to change. If I hadn't met all of you, I would be at my apartment or studying at the library. That cycle would have continued until I died, I'm sure."

He nodded, his face full of thought. His eyes snapped to mine, and he stood up. "Well, I haven't ever dealt with a person that plans to become a vampire, and wants to. But, nonetheless I will be helping you. Edward asked for my help given I am the most experienced in newborns."

"Are you?"

"Yes," he gave a firm nod. "I was changed for an army, an army that I then helped operate. My job was to care for the newest soldiers, newborn vampires."

That made me start thinking about how everyone else was changed. Maybe they all had crazy stories like Edward and Jasper.

"I don't remember anything." Alice interjected. "I just woke up, and had my new gift that filled my mind for hours. I've never remembered an earlier moment."

That squeezed my heart. She could remember nothing before? What if she had a family? Did she even know how old she was?

"I don't know. I only knew that my name was Alice, and that was only because of the embroidered name on my clothes. And no, I don't know how old I am. But, Carlisle has guessed based off of medical tests that I am between 22-24 years old."

It was amazing that it was almost like she was reading my mind, but instead only seeing the glimpses of the near future. And to do all of that while talking about how you don't have a family…tears welled up in my eyes. I took giant gulps, trying to push the feeling down.

Alice was alarmed when she saw my face. "Oh, no Bella! I'm so sorry."

I tried to shove her off. "I'm fine, I swear."

Jasper was leaning on the edge of his desk now, his arms folded and head turned to the side.

Whatever he was thinking about, he quickly forgot, shaking his head.

"So, what do you want your last days to be? We need to prep you. What outfit do you want to wear on your death day? Have you thought about that? Is it all a bit too morbid, or do you want to make this fun? Just some things to consider about it instead of the nitty gritty details."

I hadn't thought about that. But it didn't matter. Alice was trying to change the subject, and I was going to let her.

"Well, I'm not sure about everything else, but I know I want it to be fun. Nothing sad, because it doesn't feel sad for me. This is the next stage of my life."

Edward walked through the door then with apologetic eyes. "Sorry my love, Carlisle and I got distracted. Want to go on a walk with me?" He held out his hand.

I glanced back at Alice, giving her a wave. "We will talk later." She winked at me before Edward pulled me through the doors.

The snow crunched beneath my feet as we got further and further away from the house. It wasn't until we had been walking for twenty minutes that he said anything.

"They can't hear us anymore." He leaned over, bumping me with his shoulder.

I couldn't help but giggle at the sheer force of his push. I tried not to let it topple me over, but it almost did. It was relieving that they couldn't hear us. Just for a little bit. I was so accustomed to just pretending that they didn't.

I threw my arms around his waist, hugging onto him. "Mm. Good. Alone time with you is something I don't get enough of."

He paused, his fingers brushing my cheekbone. "I know, and for that I'm sorry. I have a lot of things to be sorry for."

I let go, leaning back. "Jeeze, Edward. I didn't mean it like that I promise. I just…miss you."

His cool hand slid down to my neck, down to the dimples of my back under my shirt. It gave my whole body goosebumps. "I miss you too." I leaned into his touch, expecting more. But instead he let me go, holding me by the shoulders.

"We need to talk though."

"Yeah," I said, sucking my bottom lip between my teeth. His thumb brushed my face, tugging it free.

"I don't think you are considering how serious the situation is."

"Okay. What can I do to prove that to you, and everyone else who feels like that?" I asked.

His brows furrowed, as if he hadn't expected me to ask that.

"Well, I don't know. Maybe, just amuse Alice. Let everyone do their own thing for you. Think about your human life. Don't forget it. I could never forget you, but you were my only real family. My real home. What about Jake? Are you willing to give up on that forever?" He sighed, his fingers reaching up to brush against my cheek.

"I'm going to miss this. You won't blush anymore. You also can't cry. These are things to consider. It won't be easy."

I nodded in appreciation, looking up at him. The sun was hidden behind the clouds, just enough that there was still a small reflection in the snow that bounced off of him.

It gave him a beautiful halo, making him look like an angel. My angel.

I sighed. "Yeah, okay. I'll think about it all, and I will take it more seriously." Not.

I wanted to say, but bit back.

They were all being a bit dramatic about this, and I was almost sure of it. But no one else could know how I felt. And I would never tell, anyway.

---

"Come on down!" Alice called from the bottom of the stairs.

I weaved my arm through Edward's and he gave me a reassuring squeeze. He was in a deep burgundy velvet suit jacket that complimented my black, or dark green satin dress. I couldn't tell the true color, it changed every time I saw it in a different light.

"Ready?" He smiled down at me, winking.

I suppressed a giggle. Today was the day I never thought I would be able to attend in person.

We descended upon the living room, fully adorned in greenery and candles. It looked like a piece of Forks had been taken straight from the ground and put into the house.

Tears sprung to my eyes.

"Alice, this is perfect." I said, the words catching in my throat. It was no lie. She really had outdone herself. When I heard of it, at first I thought she was joking. Now, it made sense.

In the corner, I could see some pictures I had taken with me, the one of me and Charlie front and center. There was an entire table of food, and desserts it looked like. Most of all, everyone was here. The Denali sisters, and every single one of the Cullens. Rosalie didn't look happy, but she was here. It was overwhelming, and thoughtful. All of it.

Esme stepped forward, giving me a soothing hug. "Oh, I hope you like it. I tried to get every one of your favorites on that table over there." She smiled up at me with tears in her eyes.

Alice squeezed me tight, steering me around the room. Edward stayed behind, talking with Emmett. By the way they were looking around the room and gesturing, I could tell they were up to something.

We spent the hour talking. And I ate, and ate. Until I felt like my stomach was going to burst out of my skin.

I looked around the room, all of us lounging in our various places in the living room. Except, vampires didn't really lounge. The Denali sisters always stood, or sat on the very edge of the sofa, like it would bite them. Carlisle and Esme sat next to me, though looking admittedly uncomfortable with their exceptionally rigid posture. Alice was next to me, babbling about the next two days we had left while holding my hand in her delicate one. Jasper was next to her, his arm slung around the back of the couch. That's when I realized—

"Where's Emmett and Edward?" I asked, sitting up.

Alice sat up too, her eyes glazing over for a moment. "Oh my god." She put a hand over her mouth, giggling.

"What?" I whipped around to face her. She was hiding her face in Jasper's shoulder, her muffled cackles escaping into the air.

As if waiting for the queue, Emmett bursted through the front door, carrying something on his shoulder.

"Little sis! Little sis! It's time to get lit!!!"

Behind Emmett's chanting was Edward, holding up the last part of the…coffin? I watched as they walked over and planted a giant, and obviously hand-made coffin on the floor next to the food table.

I looked up at them both in horror. "What…is…that?"

Emmett smiled, proud. "This is how I throw a proper funeral—death day party."

Edward walked over, wrapping an arm around my waist as Emmett reached down and pulled the lid open.

Inside, was packed full of beer, liquor, and a mysterious black bag at the very bottom.

"Holy fuck, this is amazing." My mouth was stuck open in shock. I looked up at Emmett, my appreciation overflowing into tears again.

Emmett grinned back. "Oh! One more thing." He reached into the coffin, pulling out a garlic necklace.

I burst out into laughter, as he placed it over my head. "You're ridiculous." I said.

He shrugged, folding his arms. "It's the last time you can wear one! It matched the theme!" Everyone started laughing then, even Rosalie.

"Wait," I said, my face twisting in confusion. "I don't want to be the only one drinking…"

Edward chuckled, pushing a hair away from my neck. "We can drink."

"And you get drunk?" I asked in astonishment. Carlisle laughed at me from the couch.

"Yes. We can not metabolize food, but we can handle fluids." He said.

My eyes went wide with shock. I had lived with them for months, and not once did I notice them drinking anything at all. I shook my head. "There's no way. I've never seen any one of you drink even a glass of water."

They all chuckled at me.

"That's because we have no reason to. At the hospital, however, I usually drink some coffee for appearances." Carlisle shrugged.

"Wha—"

Emmett's booming voice interrupted. "And that's enough for right now. No more science-y stuff that makes me think too hard about my insides. Let's just think of it as proof that maybe there is really a god." He winked at me, before opening the top of a bottle and pouring me a shot.

"Bottoms up, death girl."

---

This chapter could be a real hit or miss. I, personally, think it's funny. But then again, I have the humor of a small child.*

I leaned my head against Edward's shoulder, his arm wrapped around me. My cheeks felt flush from the shots, and my head felt fuzzy. I felt fuzzy in general, and it was fantastic.

I looked around at my new family, and friends. Everyone was so much more relaxed, and happy now.

Irina and Rosalie were standing in the corner with their own drinks, chatting animatedly.

Emmett had pulled out the video games, and was playing with Jasper while Alice watched. Carlisle and Esme were cuddled up like me and Edward. Their bodies weren't so rigid, and they actually looked their age. Sometimes I forgot that Esme was practically my age, she seemed so…old.

Yikes.

I giggled. The alcohol let the worst of me out. I have never been more thankful Edward couldn't hear my terrible thoughts.

He nuzzled my neck. "What?" He whispered. I shoved him off, giving him a side glance.

Tanya and Kate walked over to us, interrupting before I could say anything.

"Since everyone is giving you a little something for your funeral, I thought we should contribute." She held out her hand, and inside it was a small metal rose. A pin. I picked it up, looking at the intricate detail of the thin petals. "This is our good luck charm. We give it to each other when we need it. I bought it in 1908, and we all wanted you to have it during your transformation."

Irina cleared her throat from across the room. "It really does work. I don't know how but it's never led us astray." She smiled at me, and even though it was small, it was something.

"Thank you. All of you." I looked around the room, making sure to see everyone. "You've all changed my life in such a short time, in so many ways I couldn't even count." Tears sprung to my eyes again, and I wiped them away.

Emmett stood up, grinning. "Alright, that's enough of the heavy. Another round, let's go!"

As quickly as the moment had come, he had shattered it. It was good though, because I didn't want to spend my whole night crying.

Tanya walked over to the stereo, thumbing through the CD's before she decided on something. Emmett handed me a double shot, and a beer. Which, in hindsight, wasn't a good idea, but I was already three shots deep.

I let it slide down my throat, burning the whole way down. My whole body felt warm.

Alice bounced into the room again with a stack of board games. "Monopoly time!"

Half of the room groaned. Tanya doubled over, and started laughing.

Carlisle ran a hand over his face in stress, sighing as he gave Alice a look. "We know how that went last time."

"What happened?" I blurted out, my tongue loose.

Edward chuckled, his hand twisting through his hair. "I-uh—"

"Are a rotten cheater!" Emmett shouted.

Kate sighed, rolling her eyes. "Oh here we go again."

"I can read minds, guys! What was I supposed to do? Ignore it?" Edward said, laughing harder.

"Yes!" They all said in unison.

Edward rolled his eyes. "They're all sore losers who lost a bet.That's all." He glanced at me, winking.

"The last time we drank, the fights, bets, and pranks didn't stop for months." Esme said, narrowing her eyes at everyone in the room. "Do not start that. Never again." She hiccuped.

"What was so bad about it?" I shrugged.

She sighed, putting her head in her hands. Tanya was still giggling like a hyena in the corner. "They destroyed an entire house." She said in between gasps.

"Jasper lost a bet that cost him a whole week." Esme interjected.

"Edward was on the news!" Alice squawked, before clamping her hand over her mouth with wide eyes.

I felt everyone freeze at that moment. Esme hiccuped again.

"You did—what?" She turned to Edward with wide eyes.

"Shit," Emmett said under his breath. "You weren't supposed to tell."

I frowned in confusion. "Wait, wait. How is being on the news a bigger deal than ruining a house? And what about Jasper?"

Esme stood up, her hands on her hips. "What did you all do?" She asked.

Edward laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. "Well, remember when we had the intervention about us getting…out of control?"

Hushed chuckles erupted through the room. "Shh." Esme insisted.

Rosalie stood up, folding her arms. "It was technically my fault, really, Esme. You see, we had a bet about when exactly your breaking point would be with us. We noticed you hated our little game, so we made a bet to see how long it would take before you said anything." Her bright red lips turned into a smirk as she flipped her blonde hair. "I won, of course. And Edward lost, so I picked him to participate. It was innocent really." She said, though the mischief in her eyes wasn't convincing anyone.

Esme hid her face behind her hands. Rosalie continued. "He called them, saying that he had a breaking news story about a man-eating fish in the lake—you know what, I'm just going to go grab the video. I have it on a flash drive somewhere." She disappeared, leaving the room stunned in silence.

I turned to Jasper. "So, how did you lose a whole week? What does that mean?"

Jasper sighed, throwing his head back in reminiscence. "I lost a bet that I couldn't be buried alive without getting claustrophobic."

"And you were in there for seven days?" I asked in surprise, my mouth hanging open. Jasper shrugged, as if it was nothing.

Edward laughed, his voice shaking me. "I remember when you came out, you thought it had been only a day!"

Alice rolled her eyes. "That was terrible, really."

Rosalie appeared in front of us then, holding up a flash drive. Esme sighed in disappointment, eyeing me with a smirk. "Oh Bella, I hope they don't corrupt you into being this insane. Sometimes I swear they think they are indestructible."

"Because we are!" Emmett pointed out.

Her eyes narrowed at him. "Not completely!"

"Alright, shush." Rosalie interrupted, switching on the channel.

Edward's face popped up on the screen. I squinted in confusion, seeing it was daytime. A blanket of gray clouds covered the sky, which made sense. He was in a bucket hat, sunglasses, and a fishing vest with a t-shirt underneath.

"What…is…that." I said, looking at Edward. He was already laughing, hiding himself behind me.

"I had forgotten what I looked like." He chuckled.

Rosalie hit play.

The camera zoomed out to a reporter standing next to Edward, holding a microphone.

"So, err—Mike Oxlong. Wait, is that really your name?"

"Sure is." He said, winking at the camera. The whole room erupted into a fit of laughter.

"O-okay. Well, ladies and gentlemen Mr. Oxlong here has claimed to witness a man-eating fish? Here, in the lake? Can you describe to us what you saw?" The reporter asked.

"Well, you see I took out my bag here," he reached into one of his vest pockets, pulling out a handful of goldfish and holding them up to the camera. "And, ate them right here in this very spot. Then, it dawned on me that for the first time in my life I witnessed a man eating fish." He nodded, stuffing the handfuls from his pockets into his mouth. The camera cut out right after.

Esme gasped, covering her mouth in shock. "Edward!"

I erupted with laughter as Emmett started gagging, and everyone made various disgusted noises in between the peals of laughter.

"All of this stemmed from Monopoly?" I asked between gasps of breath.

Edward was unapologetic, smirking at me. "Yeah. So, who's ready for a game?" He asked the room, raising his drink.

---

Obvs. don't do drugz.*

My head started pounding before I even opened my eyes. The bright light was shining directly into the underside of my eyelids, scorching me with pain. I ducked under the covers, wanting to melt away into the bed.

"Wakey wakey." Edward's voice murmured from the other side of the room.

"Mmmm go away…" I whined, my throat felt like sandpaper.

He chuckled, and I felt the bed bow under him. "You need some water. It's been a while since we made sure you were at least hydrated. Maybe try some food too."

The thought of food made me want to throw up, and I couldn't think through the aching in my body.

"Oh, I have meds too." He added.

That was enough to rouse me from my cave. I threw back the sheets, keeping my eyes clamped closed. "Close those fucking blinds." I whined. He shoved water and pills into my hand before closing them. It wasn't until he said I was in the clear that I opened my eyes.

What was confusing at first, was the intricate crown molding on the ceiling above me.

I shot upright, my head pulsating in pain as I took the rest of the room in.

"Are we…in a hotel?" I asked, confused.

He grimaced, nodding. "Yeah, I felt the same way when I woke up."

I held my head in my hand, glancing up at him. "What?" I rubbed the spot between my brows, pinching and slapping my cheeks. "Am I dreaming? What is going on?"

He laughed, grabbing onto my hands. "It's fine love. You're not dreaming. I saw what everyone else remembered, and Alice helped a little too. Looks like we drank too much, for starters. Kate was sober by then, and so we convinced her to drive us to the airport, where we flew to New York.

My eyes went wide, "we are in New York? But…that doesn't explain how you slept? " I said.

He nodded, laughing. "Well, um. Do you remember the black bag Emmett had?"

A flash of the black bag came to my mind. I remembered what happened there. "Oh shit, we did acid. Wait—that's how you slept?" It was all rushing back in heavy chunks. The plane ride. Walking through the streets with Edward, hand in hand. Eating foods, looking at art.

"Yes, we did. And Carlisle told us at the beginning that it would allow us to sleep. Apparently he isn't as…doctorly as we thought." He smiled.

"What day is it? How long did we sleep for?"

He pushed the tray of food towards me, encouraging me to eat now that the medication had time to take effect. "I slept for just over an hour, which was strange, and left me feeling confused afterwards. I don't know if I liked it. But you fell asleep yesterday morning. Today is Monday. The party was on Friday night."

I felt like my eyes were going to fall out of my head. "Monday? But, what about Sunday? I slept the entire day?" I asked in confusion.

He nodded. "Yup. Which is fine, you were going all day Saturday with no break."

"But what about—"

He held up his hand. "Let me finish. Nothing has changed, just the day. Carlisle has work tomorrow, so we have to leave today. We can start the transformation when we get home. Don't worry, I won't go back on my word." He assured me, pushing a stray piece of hair behind my ear. "I love you. I've had so much fun with you these past few days."

I leaned forward, pushing my tray off to the side. My fingers wound through his silky hair as I closed our distance. "I love you. Thank you for giving me this. I admit that I wasn't taking it seriously. But now, I see what you all mean. I am giving up a lot. I still think it's worth it though."

I pressed my lips tentatively to his cheek. He turned his mouth to mine, our lips fitting together like pieces to a perfect puzzle. It always made my head spin, and flutters appear in my stomach.

He pulled away, like usual. Leaving me wanting more. Always wanting, but never having.

"Come on," he patted my leg. "Everyone's waiting to get going, and Rosalie is about to get meaner than usual."

---

Watching the tall buildings, and various colors get further and further away made my heart ache in a strange way. I didn't get to experience New York in the way I had imagined, but was still grateful to have been there at all.

"Next time we will stay for longer, Bella. I promise." Alice reached out, squeezing my hand.

"I did however grab some clothes for you while you were sleeping yesterday. Just a new wardrobe upgrade to display your new immortality in a fashionable way."

I rolled my eyes, smiling. "Thank you. I'm excited to see what you found. Hopefully it's not too crazy."

She nodded in affirmation. "Of course, I tried to keep it so, so tame." She said, eyes wide.

Edward laughed, covering his mouth in a way to hide it.

I elbowed him, "what?"

He smiled, glancing down at me as Alice glared at him from across the plane seats. "I think you'll love it…that's all."

I sighed inwardly. He was so full of it.

"So, how would you say your last few days of human life have been?" Emmett asked. Rosalie rolled her eyes, standing up and walking over to the couch where Irina, Kate, and Tanya were sitting.

Edward squeezed my hand in reassurance. I bit back a grimace, "um, great! I've never had so much fun in my life, to be honest. This is the craziest thing I've ever done."

He nodded, eyes wide with excitement. "You haven't seen anything yet. When we don't have to worry about you accidentally dying, you'll see how we really party."

I laughed, not even being able to wrap my mind around how much I hadn't really seen this other side of them. What were the limits, when you had none?

"That is assuming you want to. Esme and Carlisle aren't really into it, so no pressure." He said, his brows furrowed in concern. It was always the scariest looking guys that turned out to be the most kind and sensitive individuals.

"Thanks, Em," I smiled. Hearing Rosalie scoff again. He blanched, glancing at her before giving me a sheepish smile.

It was getting harder to ignore, but I was trying not to let her grate on my already shortened fuse.

Irina giggled, and I couldn't help but look over. They were giggling about something, and whispering. Knowing the only people who couldn't hear them was me.

Edward's grip tightened on my hand, and I turned away from them. He gave me an apologetic smile. His eyes were tight in the corners, telling me that what they had to say was not kind.

Everyone fell to silence after that, neither feeding into it or reacting to it.

The ride home was also quiet. None of us quite felt like conversation, aside from Alice. But I've learned to let her chatter fall into the background, almost like white noise.

I watched the telephone poles zoom by the car, counting how many seconds apart they were. The snow on the ground looked hard, and crunchy. It made me miss Forks. Everything there was soft, and squishy. Everything around here was harsh, and bitter. But maybe that's just because I was in a bit of a mood.

"Are you ready for tomorrow?" Edward said, shutting our bedroom door.

The air in the room was crisp, and fresh. Maybe not all of Alaska was as harsh as I said before.

I folded my arms around me, looking at the misty clouds that threatened to start snowing at any moment. "Mm. More than ready. I want it over with, really."

He nodded in thought. "You'll be ravenous for weeks. I think this will be harder for me, than it will be for you, to be honest." He turned to me, grabbing my hands and holding them to his face. "You're so warm. You probably won't be yourself for a while. So you'll be here," He touched my temple lightly, letting it fall to my chest. "But you won't be here. Not right away." His eyes searched mine. "Are you absolutely sure this is what you want? Knowing how it will be?"

I nodded. Although, it was true that I was sure, it still was daunting. Especially since the day had felt so arbitrary until this moment.

"You know that we don't have to stay here, we can go on our own afterwards. And, if you ever don't want to be with me, I don't want you to think you have to. Vampirism is permanent, but your freedom is too. I want to make sure you still feel like your own person—"

I lifted a finger to his lips, his cool breath making me shiver.

"I know I am my own person. I like this, it's fun. I don't want this to ever change, but if I do then I promise I will tell you. I enjoy being with you, and your family."

"What about Charlie?" He asked. "He is still your family."

"Charlie is fine. I'm not going to be gone forever. Maybe…maybe we will find a way for him to see you too. We will figure it out. He's happy that I'm happy." I ran my hands through his hair, smoothing out the tension between his brows.

"Now will you stop worrying?" I dragged him over to the bed, perching on the edge. "Tell me what's going to happen. What does Alice see?"

---

Songs that heavily influenced this chapter as I wiped snot from my nose after hours of writing because I'm inexplicably sad.*

27(October's Lullaby)—Pity Party (Girls Club)

J's Lullaby (Darling I'd wait for you)—Delaney Bailey

I put on a silky black robe, pajama short set, and my favorite fuzzy socks. The Rose pin sat securely fashioned just by my collarbone. My hair sat in a ponytail, pushing my fly-always down before I stood at the foot of my bed, looking at Edward who was laying on the bed, eyes closed.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

He kept his eyes closed, and smirked. "I'm listening to everyone's thoughts. They're in perfect sync with your heartbeat. My own music, in my mind. Everything feels so…serene today."

There was a knock on the door, and Carlisle stepped inside. "Are you ready?" He asked, in his calming doctor manner.

I smiled, nodding. He came inside, sitting on the bed. Then Alice and Jasper came in, sitting by the fireplace.

"This will be a singular injection to your heart, Bella. You will feel the effects immediately, but may not lose consciousness the entire time. We will let the morphine work through you before we do anything to try to aide that. Do you understand?"

"Yes." I nodded, hearing the process for the fifth time now. I understood clearly. It was…unconventional, to say the least. But, this way Edward said I wouldn't have a scar, and he didn't risk losing control.

Alice folded her arms again, huffing. "Bella will be fine. I've seen it a hundred times, and so has Edward. What will not be okay, is the fact that you won't wear what I'm telling you to!"

I rolled my eyes. So that's why she came up here.

"Alice, calm down. Why would I want to be in anything that wasn't comfortable? I'm not wearing a dress, come on. Be reasonable."

She huffed again, throwing her hands up indignantly. "Fine. If you want to look like you just rolled out of bed—then fine."

Edward chuckled, and Carlisle and I shared a look. Jasper patted Alice on the back. "You'll be alright. Take a deep breath, and say goodbye to her. Let's get out of their hair."

He stood up, walking over to be and holding his hand out. "See you on the other side, Bella. I promise I'll help you get through this. And, I'm looking forward to not wanting to eat you all the time." I laughed, shaking his hand.

Alice pushed him off to the side, throwing her arms around me. "You're the most stubborn creature I've ever met in my life. I can't wait to have you forever." Her eyes were swimming with tears. Tears I knew she couldn't shed. She wiped at her face. "Ugh, sorry. I'm just really happy. Okay—bye." Jasper grabbed her hand, pulling her out of our room.

Esme squeezed by them, walking over to give me a hug. "Oh, I love you, my dear. You round out our family in every way." She whispered into my hair, bringing tears to my eyes. I squeezed her tight.

Tanya and Kate entered, giving me a quick hug before saying goodbye, and that they would come back in a few months to see how it went.

Last was Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett walked over to me, giving me a bear hug. "I'm so ready for you to be just a little less breakable. Then we can have even numbers on our teams." He grinned, patting me on the head and fist bumping Edward once before grabbing Rosalie's hand and trying to pull her out.

She stopped, giving me one long look.

"Be sure this is what you want." She said, her eyes piercing into mine with severity. "Be sure. I'll see you soon." She whispered, giving a small wave before they were gone.

I gulped, giving Edward wide eyes of shock. He grinned, crooked. "I think she could be warming up to you."

I rolled my eyes, and they landed on Carlisle. I had almost forgotten he was here. He was standing now, in the corner of the room with a warm smile.

"I'm sorry, I did not want to interrupt anyone." He said, bowing his head in what looked like embarrassment. "Are you ready?" He looked between me and Edward.

"Yes." I smiled, my stomach erupted with butterflies that felt like they were tied to a rollercoaster. I moved to the bed, laying down and propping my head up on the pillows so I was perfectly relaxed.

The IV and following morphine was painless. I felt my heart slow down, my body melting into the bed. Edward sat beside me, holding onto my hand.

"Are you sure?" He asked again, sounding a little breathless.

I nodded, leaning back against the pillows to see the ceiling. Carlisle's voice was soothing, like a calm wave. "Okay Bella, I'm going to poke a little to find your sternum."

Edward swam into my vision, leaning over me. He smiled, eyes filled with his tears. I didn't want to make anyone sad. My brain felt fuzzier, and I blinked slowly.

"I love you." I whispered, though my voice sounded far away.

"I love you," he said. He sounded so close to me. Closer than I felt to myself right then.

There was a pinch, and I felt my heart erupt with warmth. It was paralyzing, and instantly changed from warm to scorching ice hot.

I couldn't scream. I couldn't move.

All I could do was run from it. I retreated, leaving myself behind in the dark.

And then, it was quiet.

I had found a sanctuary inside of myself, away from the pain.

There was a soft cry, and I wished I could turn towards it. Who was it?

"Why is she so still?"

"Edward, she will be okay." Carlisle said in a low tone. "I'll leave you guys."

It was silent then, silent for so long that all I could hear was my heartbeat. It was so loud in my head, I just wanted to escape.

"Bella, I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can I want you to know that I'm here. I'll be here, the whole time." Edward said, his voice low. He sighed. "I never thought that I would be the one to end your life. For that, I'm sorry. What I'm not sorry about is having forever with you." I could almost hear his smile just then.

"Do you remember the day that we officially became friends? We stood on the beach, sitting on our favorite log. But we didn't know that, yet. Jake made us all pinky swear that we would never forget each other. And that when school started, we would make sure to stick together. Funny, how that all changes. What didn't change, was the fact that I was absolutely smitten with you from the beginning. I never told you, but I always thought you would be mine. I hoped, at least." He sighed. "I miss Jake…sometimes."

He chuckled, and was silent for a while. I was almost afraid that he wouldn't come back.

"I still want to marry you. I know we haven't talked about it yet, and I don't want to pressure you. But, I hope you know that's what I want, if you want it too. You are my best friend…my soulmate."

"Edward?" Alice's voice chimed in from afar.

"Come in." He said.

"Did you see what I did? She's going to be stunning." There was a pause. "I know you can hear me. You hear that? Stunning. Jaw dropping. If only you would have let me dress you for this occasion." She tsked. "Anyway, that's not why I came up here. I wanted to tell you that Tanya ended up staying. I figured Bella would like to know."

"Thank you." He said, and I heard the door click shut.

Edward talked to me for the rest of the time that I sat in the emptiness. I don't know how long it had been, or what day it was. All I knew was his voice, and I clung to it. My life raft.

I listened to my heart as it sped and slowed. Eventually, it became a horse's gallop, and this time it didn't stop.

It beat faster, and faster. Pounding into my head like drums in a grand finale.

Then, there was silence. Complete and utter silence.

"Bella?" Edward whispered.

The door quickly open and shut. I could hear and feel the change of the air in the room because of it. I heard every soft padded footstep towards where I was laying.

There were murmurs, somewhere. I just couldn't quite make it out. I was too far inside of myself, afraid that the pain was still going to be there if I left.

"She feels afraid."

It was Jasper.

"Bella? Can you hear me? Don't be afraid. It's okay, you can wake up now." Edward whispered, his breath fanning my face. He rubbed my forehead, and I noticed his hand…He felt warm to me.

I wanted to reach out, swim out of the deep cave I went into. But, it was hard.

"Just give her some time." Alice said, her voice right by my head.

Focusing on Edward's thumb that brushed my hand, I tried to see it. Feel it. Open my eyes.

Nothing happened.

"I think something's wrong—"

"No, Edward. Shh."

My eyes responded, creaking open. Too slow for me. I blinked, seeing sparkles of colors twisting in the air. Edward loomed into my vision. "Bella?"

I blinked, trying to see him clearly. My eyes crossed, blurring. I reached up, feeling my fingertips prodding my face before I was ready for it.

I flinched away on instinct, covering my eyes from the brightness and blurring.

Hands gripped mine, soft and supple. A wave of roses, and ocean water permeated the air. It smelled so good, my mouth watered. In an instant my mouth was flooded with a sweet, honey flavor.

It was thicker than my saliva, mixing with it. I swallowed on impulse, feeling it trudge down my throat as it soothed the burning itch that I had only just noticed was there.

Edward's reddened hair came into focus, and his soft amber eyes. I could see the flecks of black, and the darkened state of them now. He was worried. There was tightness in the corners that I couldn't have seen before.

He was speaking about something, and I couldn't hear what he was saying. But the way his mouth moved…I liked that. I heard a chuckle from behind me, and I whipped around to see who it was.

Jasper was standing close, his eyes narrow but his mouth upturned into a smirk. I noticed then that he had scars all over his body. Bite marks. It twisted my stomach in a strange way. I felt…bad for him.

"Pity is not what I expected from a newborn." He winked, "good morning, Bella. Welcome back."

I frowned, looking around again. I felt…normal. But, not.

The moment I thought about sitting up, I was. There was no moment of lag, or mental energy for movement anymore. Something I didn't even realize happened.

Alice was standing in the doorway, along with four other sets of eyes peeking in.

I grinned, standing up and almost teetering over with the force that followed behind it. Edward grabbed onto me, pulling me straight. "Woah, take it slower."

"Never thought I'd see a vampire fall either." Jasper drawled. I shot him a glare, receiving another smirk.

Carlisle stepped in, cautiously walking towards me. "Bella, are you feeling alright? Is it okay if I check you for injuries during the transformation? I just want to be sure."

"Yes, of course." I breathed out. My voice sounded so clear to my ears, that it almost startled me.

Carlisle approached, poking and prodding my legs to make sure I didn't feel any pain.

Everything seemed…normal. I shrugged. "See? Not a big deal. I feel fine." I said, looking at each of them. "I just had to get used to it at first." I huffed.

Everyone burst out into laughter, but they looked nervous.

Edward's hand moved to my lower back, sending tingles up my spine.

Alice stepped forward. "So, do you want to see what you look like?"

She didn't wait for my answer as she pushed me by the shoulders towards our bathroom.

Upon first glance, it looked like a completely different person standing in front of me. I looked like them, a goddess.

My skin looked like satin, but I knew it was cold and hard.

Alice took my hair out of its ponytail, and I watched my chocolate waves tumble down as if I had just gone to the salon. That was all fine, and great.

What wasn't great was the fact that I had freakish blood red eyes.

I looked at Alice, confused. I pointed to them, speechless.

"That'll go away soon, don't stress. Now, what do you think?"

I glanced in my reflection again, trying not to really see it. I looked different, maybe, but I was still me. Being prettier didn't help the fact that everyone acted like I was going to be a feral animal, and instead I felt the same.

"I just feel like…me. Just me." Murmurs erupted from the hallway, and I could hear Tanya talking with Esme. "Just a few things I'll need to get used to, I'm sure." I added.

I walked back into our room.

"…isn't normal…"

"What do we do?"

"It's freakish…"

Everyone was talking at once. I put my hands over my ears, muffling their hushed whispers.

"I can hear all of you. Stop talking about me, please."

When the sounds stopped, I put my hands down. I sighed, "thank you, all. For being concerned. But really, I'm fine. This is nothing to be concerned about." I looked at Jasper. "I'm not unpredictable. I'm not going to just explode out of nowhere. I'm in control." I said.

Edward was at my side, his hand running along my arm. "Of course, love. I'm sorry. They are all just being cautious. Do you feel thirsty? That is what almost everyone wants to know, including me."

I thought about it. Was I thirsty? "The only thing I feel right now is a sore throat. I feel like I have a cold."

He nodded in affirmation. "That's thirst. It usually doesn't feel like that at first though. After the first year, maybe. Let's go hunt anyway, yeah? Just to be safe."

I shrugged, grabbing onto his hand. The way it slipped into mine felt like two puzzle pieces. Made for one another. We walked outside, or ran. I couldn't tell how fast I was moving, because it all looked the same.

I watched the snow covered trees pass me, seeing each of their branches and the animals within. I could hear the tiny heartbeats, and the chittering all around me.

Had there really been so much life right in front of me?

Edward stopped, gripping onto my shoulders. "Do you hear or smell anything now? Anything that intensifies that feeling?"

I looked up at him, confused. He smirked, chuckling. "Fine. Close your eyes."

The sounds were overwhelming when I did that. Suddenly I felt like I could navigate the forest just fine on just my hearing alone.

Then, just as I was going to open them I heard a huff. Then a snort. I listened closer, trying to find the source. Following it felt natural as I found a natural, but refreshing smell. Like a fresh summer day and fresh moving water. The sore throat I had erupted into white hot flames. I coughed, choking on the feeling.

I opened my eyes, realizing that I was now in the tree, just above a bear. I looked around in alarm, and Edward was right beside me. "Don't think about it. You're doing exactly what you're supposed to." He whispered, his lips tickling my ear. "Relax. Let go."

I turned into him, not interested in the bear any longer. I reached out to wrap my arms around him, and kiss him. That's all I wanted.

He chuckled, low. "Focus. Not on me." His mouth was so close to my neck, I could have sworn I felt it flush.

I reluctantly turned around, looking at the bear. He was so cute, and fluffy. How was I supposed to kill that? It made my mouth water, but made any of my logic cringe away in disgust.

Against my better judgement, I jumped down from the tree, my feet making a deep thud. My eyes snapped up to the bear, who was now face to face with me, his mouth foaming.

His heart hammered into my body, as if it were my own. The sweet lure of his blood flowing through his veins was music.

I felt my hands reach out, latching onto its neck and yanking it to my mouth. The bear's skin was warm butter as I sliced through it. The blood was sweet, and earthy. Any fire that was in my throat was instantly washed away. My eyes rolled back in my head, the strange thirst and simultaneous hunger gone. I hadn't known how strong it was, how much of my mind had been taken up by it. I felt the liquid taper off before ending completely. I lifted up, gasping in the lingering scent of the blood.

There was a slow clap from behind me. I threw the bear down, standing up from the strange crouch I was in.

Edward was leaning against a tree a few feet away. His eyes looked dangerous…like I was his prey. "You look…ravishing. How does it feel?" I watched him scan me from head to toe, his head tilting to the side. I looked down, seeing my robe was in shreds around me, with only the small sleeve on my right shoulder still intact.

I sighed, looking up at the snow-ridden sky. The air was cold…but I could only observe the temperature. How did I describe this?

"It feels…right. Freeing. Like I did the right thing. I mean, I feel bad about that," I gestured to the bear with uncertainty as Edward approached me. "But, uh- aside from that, I feel fine. Better than fine—"

His lips captured mine, as he crushed me into him with his arms. "Good, because I've been waiting for this for years." He whispered, brushing his nose against mine. His soft lips touched mine, leaving shivers up my spine. His tongue dashed between my lips, and I could taste the sweetness to him, to his venom.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He twisted me around, lifting me up against the tree trunk he had been leaning against.

Every part of him pressed into me, rubbing me. I could feel his muscles ripple underneath his abdomen, making me hot with need.

He felt so strong, his hands roaming down my arms and sides, squeezing my thighs. His mouth danced across my neck, my shoulders, my face. It was rough, needy, but slow and careful.

My hands combed through his hair, letting myself bask in the glory of him finally losing the restraint. His hips shifted, rubbing my center, making us moan.

His head tilted back as he groaned again. "Fuck, I've missed you." He panted, "the amount of times I've thought about how it used to be." He reached up, pushing hair behind my ear and looking into my soul. "No memory ever came close to this. To how you feel."

His hand slid down my body, his fingers hooking around my bottoms, tearing them off. My knees quivered as he traced up and down me, stopping only for slower strokes and circles over my center.

I reached down, feeling him hard and pressed between us.

Edward shuddered, breaking our kiss as his head fell onto my shoulder. "Fuck fuck, fuck." He whispered, nipping me on the shoulder. I missed him so much. Our times together before…they never felt like this. This was heaven, I was convinced.

I gasped as I felt two of his fingers slide into me. Stars danced behind my eyes, electric. We moved in unison, feeling the heat of anticipation pool at the base of my abdomen, pulling up through my stomach.

He leaned down, his tongue flicking my ear as he whispered. "You feel like silk, just how you look. You're so beautiful—So, fucking beautiful. I love watching you fall apart beneath me." The warmth filled my body, vibrating through to my bones. And then, I fell off the cliff.

I plunged into an ocean of pleasure that rippled through me with a cry.

His hand stilled, but his hips still moved against me as I waited to surface.

I panted, moving my hand against him again before trying to pull undo the buttons on his pants. The fabric looked like it melted against my fingertips, shredding to strings before my eyes.

Edward glanced down quickly, then moved his mouth to mine again, as if it was nothing. He grabbed onto my hands, pulling them away and pushing his jeans down.

It wasn't another second before he pushed inside of me, our bond mending its brokenness in one swift moment.

We sat there for a moment, kissing lazily as we savored another thing that we thought would never happen again. I could have cried from the pure contentment. We were made for eachother in every single way.

He started moving, slow and methodical. It was bliss, wrapped in a grand dessert. Edward groaned into my mouth, sending butterflies off inside of me. His hips snapped into me, harder than before. Quicker. I watched as he slowly came undone before me. That's all I wanted.

His hair wild from my hands, his head thrown back in ecstasy. It was almost all too distracting from the sensations to marvel at him. To think that he had been holding all of this back, restraining for so long.

He grunted, his movements becoming stiff and irregular. I felt his warmth pool inside of me, and he stilled, panting.

I never wanted it to end. I wanted to watch him every time. How had I not noticed it before? He looked like a god. So perfect. I reached up, brushing his cheek with my thumb.

"I love you." I whispered, smiling up at him.

His eyes opened slowly, heavy and drunk with lust. "I love you." He said, his mouth moving in the delightful way it did. He bent down, kissing me and pulling my bottom lip between his teeth. "You're delectable. I'm sorry it wasn't longer—" I held my finger up to his lips.

"It was perfect. The best reunion we could have had after years."

He sighed, nodding, before pressing his lips to mine again.

I unwrapped my legs from him, my toes just touching the snow damp snow underneath.

That was when I actually got a good look at us. Edward's shirt was ripped open, exposing his chest. His pants were hanging loose around his hips, the front zipper completely torn.

I, on the other hand, had no clothes on me. My shirt pooled at the base of the tree, and my shorts somewhere beyond it. I reached down to grab it, finding the small rose pin. I covered myself up with the scraps, a feeble attempt at modesty. If I was a human, I would have been completely red with embarrassment.

Edward saw my actions, and slipped his shirt off. "Here. Put this on, but don't touch it. Hold your arms up." He said, pushing the fabric over my head.

He guided my arms through, minding every second to try not to tear it even further. One of the buttons was still hanging on by a few threads, so he fastened it shut the best he could.

"There. It will be fine, at least for getting to our room." He beamed down at me, cupping my face in his hands before brushing his lips against mine again, inhaling my scent. I did the same, soaking myself in the way that we smelled like each other now.

"Come on." He whispered, tugging me along and towards the house.

---

"Bella!" Alice called for me from outside the bathroom door. I sighed, wanting to stay under the warm water for the rest of my life.

Everyone gave us the house for a few days, giving Edward and I plenty of time to…catch up with vampire life. That was three days ago, though. Three days ago I was soaking in my bliss with Edward, learning every inch of each other all over again.

But now, Alice had been an absolute barnacle since they got back. If I wasn't being forced to practice putting on clothing, or turning pages on a book, then I was having my ear chatted off by her.

And, to make it worse, Tanya was the same, except she was becoming friends with Rosalie. Rosalie rolled her eyes at me if I breathed wrong. That made Alice closer to me now than ever before. Always wanting to include me, always trying. I was sick of it.

I leaned my head against the tiles, wishing she would go away. She wouldn't, though.

I turned off the water, stepping out.

Edward sat outside of the shower, on the edge of the tub. He reached over, holding the towel out for me and wrapping it securely around. He smiled at me with apologetic eyes. He didn't need to read my mind to know how I felt right now.

We stepped out, and she was sitting on the bed, magazines in hand.

"Yay!" She clapped. "I was hoping we could pick out some more things today." Her lap was stacked tall with magazines and catalogs. "I am just really trying to capture your style for everything." She pouted.

I sighed, nodding. "Fine, but no more furniture."

Before I knew it, Edward had ditched me to go into town, and I was left practicing with Alice while I answered questions about makeup and color palettes.

The book that sat in my hands felt like tissue paper. I lifted the cover, treating it like a butterfly wing, as Emmett put it. I could see micro-tears forming and froze.

Alice laughed. "You're not going to be able to do that for a while, you know. Books are delicate. Give it a few months."

I snorted, "that's what you always say."

She shrugged. "Because it's true. Now, tell me. Are you more of a muted tone, or vibrant, or maybe a pastel girl?"

"My style is simple. Library." I said.

She sighed, resigning to my disinterest. "Okay, let's do something else."

"Go to town?" I asked, pointlessly hopeful.

She shot me a glare before her eyes glazed over. When they came back into focus, she grinned in the mischievous way she always did. "I have an idea! Let's go camping!" She jumped up, running out of the room.

I tried to follow her, chasing her down the hall to Jasper's office. He was sitting with his feet propped up, reading.

"…and we can go on the river, see all of the sights. The sunset!" She squealed.

"Camping?" I asked, folding my arms. "We are vampires, who live in the middle of nowhere…That's pretty much camping."

Jasper snorted.

"Camping?" I heard Emmett say, then heard him barreling down the hall. He barged through, looking at all of us. "Did someone say camping?"

He resembled a puppy dog at that moment so much, it made almost zero sense for him and Rosalie to be together.

Alice nodded, excited. Rosalie waltzed in, resting her arm on Emmett's shoulder. "I'm game. I'll tell Tanya, but I doubt she will want to come, based on last time."

"What happened?" I interjected, seeing everyone's contained reactions.

Emmett laughed. "Let's just say that Tanya is not an outdoors woman. She prefers to be in the comfort of…anything but the outside." They all laughed.

It was strange to think that a vampire, of all people, would be the one who didn't like to be outdoors. How could you find anything negative to say about it when you couldn't feel cold, you don't have to worry about bug bites, and you don't have to worry about being tired…ever.

She had been a vampire for too long.

"Well, I'm sure Edward will be excited. What do you want me to pack?" I asked. "I don't really have any camping gear."

Alice jumped up. "Let me pack your bag, I promise I'll have everything you need. Please!" She begged. As much as I felt annoyed by her, she was super helpful and sweet. I nodded, giving her a sheepish smile.

She hopped up and was gone in a second.

---

Edward secured my backpack to me, with god knows what inside. If I was a human, this would have tipped me right over.

Alice had put me in leggings, high socks, a wind breaker, and new hiking boots. I looked like I had walked out of a Patagonia ad or something. It wasn't terrible…but not my favorite.

"Why do we need all this stuff?" I asked, frowning in distaste.

The corner of his mouth turned up. "Do you really want to spend the next week in the middle of the forest without anything to do?"

I thought about it for a minute, reaching around to try to feel what was inside. It was difficult, because I didn't want to poke a hole through it. I shrugged. "I guess not…?"

We went downstairs, and I saw that everyone looked almost the same as me.

"Ready?" Emmett leaned down, whispering. I grinned up at him.

"If I knew what exactly I was getting ready for, then yes."

He chuckled, and Rosalie glared at me. "Well, we're going to run. Run until we get to our favorite spot, and stay there for a while. It's beautiful, and there's so much space you won't even be able to understand it. And, no humans. So it's a safe adventure for you. Plus surprises." He booped my nose before walking off and joining Rose again.

Edward then grabbed my hand and started dragging me out of the house, to the tree line.

Alice walked next to me, her backpack almost as tall as she was. "We are heading north," she glanced at Edward then me. "Just follow us! Oh it's going to be so beautiful!"

She leaped forward, and we started running.

We ran for an hour, and things were going great. Edward was so fast that I couldn't keep up, and ended up staying by Esme and Carlisle. I turned back, looking over my shoulder to check for Alice and Jasper. I hadn't seen them in a while, now that I thought about it.

"Hey, I don't see—" A thunderous coach vibrated through my body as I made contact with someone, toppling straight over them.

I flopped into the snow, face first. I sat up, wiping the snow off my face. Edward was standing behind me, standing stick straight and looking to his left. I tried to follow his eyes, when I felt someone clamp a hand over my mouth. It was Emmett.

"Don't breathe." He commanded in my ear, and I felt him tense up. I looked around trying to figure out what the problem was. "Don't breathe, Bella. I mean it. Did you hear me?" I nodded frantically, watching Edward as he stared off.

His head snapped over to me, rushing over. His warm eyes were filled with worry. "There's humans. Oh Bella, I'm so sorry. Alice and Jasper are up at the site trying to clear it out."

My eyes widened at the words. Humans? My stomach turned in fear…and want. I thought about how good the bear was. The steady coating that soothed my throat. I knew it would be better with a human. So much better.

Somehow, I knew that it would keep me satisfied for a while. I felt Emmett's muscles tense, locking me into his grip. "Don't breathe. Just stay calm. Don't think about it, uh—think about Charlie, and college. Are you going back one day, you think?" At first, I didn't understand why he was rambling, until I felt myself pulling against him. A snarl ripped through my chest, surprising me. It was as if my consciousness had taken the passenger seat. Something else was driving now.

A flash of white came into my vision, and I saw golden hair and intense eyes meeting mine.

"Bella?" It was Rosalie. I blinked, feeling the gears in my mind clog up. Why was she talking to me?

"Don't listen to Emmett, listen to me. You don't want to harm those humans. I know how you feel. We all do. These people have lives, families. Focus on that. We don't want to take that away from them."

I shook my head, feeling myself regaining control. My muscles were tense, and I instantly relaxed them. Rosalie nodded, giving me an encouraging smile.

Why was she being so nice to me?

"There. Now, you're going to smell them. It's going to hurt, but you need to focus on what I just told you. They're people. Okay?" I nodded, and Emmett's hand disappeared. He was still holding me though, not giving any room to move. I still held my breath, too afraid that I would lose control again.

Because Rose was right, I didn't want to hurt anyone. I didn't become a vampire so that I could be murderous and feed off of whoever I want. I did this so I could be with Edward forever. No murder. Love. I repeated that in my head, cheesy as it was.

Edward came running over. "They are leaving now. We will stay here for a few hours, then we are clear to set up." He glanced nervously at me. "The scent won't linger too long, but it will be there for a few days. We can leave if you want, and go home. Or, we can set up camp right here until it's gone…" He offered.

I hadn't breathed yet, and I knew that if I wanted to talk then I would have to. Then, I would have to make a decision, I told myself. Either it would be too much, and I would tell him I wanted to leave, or I would tough it out. One way or the other.

I shook my head, taking the smallest amount of air through my nose.

My mouth flooded with sweet venom, and my senses vibrated through my body as they took it all in. Fire erupted in my throat. Molten metal dripping down. Human scent was powerful. I felt almost drunk off of it alone. My eyes widened, looking at all of the absolutely insane vampires in front of me.

How they had me in their home…for months.

"H-How—" I choked out.

"It gets easier." Rosalie said, giving me another smile. Another one. Was she just nice now, all of a sudden? I tried not to frown, but I knew it wouldn't last long. I'm sure in another ten minutes, she would hate me again.

"Bella? Love, if it's too much we can leave." Edward offered again.

"I'll carry you the whole way, promise. Can't escape my iron lock. We wouldn't let you do that, Bells." Emmett said from behind me.

"I'm okay." I said. It wasn't the truth, but ruining our only week away from the house was not an option in my mind. "I'll be okay. You can let me go, Emmett. I won't run or anything."

That was a partial lie. I absolutely wanted to run, I just was choosing not to.

I inhaled the intoxicating scent again, trying to prove to him I was fine.

His arms slowly relaxed, letting me free.

My legs felt a physical pull to run, to chase them down. But, no murder. Love, and Edward.

You're fine, I told myself.

I was not.

Edward wrapped his arms around me, Emmett and Rosalie walking further away to give us privacy, I'm sure.

"I'm sorry." He whispered into my hair.

I buried my face in his chest, embarrassment coursing through me. "Don't be. I'm the one who lost control."

"Bella, that's enough." He said, suddenly stern.

He grabbed my chin, lifting it to meet his eyes. "You're a new vampire. What you just did was outstanding, and much calmer than we would have ever expected from you. Do not even try to be sorry, you have nothing to be sorry for."

His eyes were so sincere, I had to believe him. I nodded, and he pulled me into a hug again. Deep down, I knew he was wrong though. Because it wasn't as easy as he made it seem.

My throat still clawed at me to soothe the flames. I had already plotted twenty different ways to bolt, and resisted each time.

And the worst part of all, was that once we were close enough to camp, Jasper would have me figured out.

---

After 3 hours of waiting, we were finally able to go to the campsite. And, it was gorgeous. So much so, that I was glad I didn't leave.

There was half-frozen lake just a few feet away that led to a breathtaking view of the mountains. It made sense why they wanted to stay here now.

All of that was great, except for the fact that it reeked of humans. So much that I had taken to not breathing unless absolutely necessary.

Everyone else was lounging and taking in the view.

I, on the other hand, stripped off my backpack and was trying to set up to keep myself distracted.

Otherwise, I was afraid that I would slip away from them all, and go hunt down those humans. It had only been a few hours, I'm sure that they wouldn't have made it too far. How long would it take me to get there and back? Maybe…fifteen minutes? Twenty? Less?

If only I could distract—

"Hey Bella."

I froze, pressing the last stake into the ground.

"Jasper," I breathed out, trying to stay casual. I finished that one, and moved back over to my bag, rummaging through. "What's up?" I smiled up at him.

His eyes were narrowed, his head turned to the side. "Edward is having quite the time over there with Emmett. Do you think so?"

I glanced over my shoulder. Emmett and Edward were tackling each other on a chunk of ice, Rosalie being their referee while the others watched. No one was paying attention to us, not even Alice. I knew that's what he was trying to say.

I shrugged, trying to be unbothered. "Looks like it."

His feet crunched underneath the rock and snow, moving closer. I stood up, facing him with an expectant look.

"Edward can't read your mind, but I know what you're thinking without the actual words." He breathed out, not even a whisper. I raised a brow, folding my arms and raising my chin.

"I'm fine."

"Don't lie." He snapped, his body tensing. I took a step back, looking to see if anyone had noticed yet. They hadn't. "I can feel the bloodlust. I can feel your instincts attempting to climb out. Primal emotions." The corner of his mouth quirked. "Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me."

But, don't try anything. The words were left unsaid, but hung on his comment.

He didn't need to say anything else, giving me a long look before turning around and slinking away back to Alice.

A few moments later Edward's arms wrapped around me, nestling into my neck. "Setting up was my job, love. Go sit with Alice and Jasper. I'll get everything inside."

I chuckled. That's the last place I would be going.

"Let me help." I said, stepping inside.

---

Alice had intrigued me with the prospect of books, but I never expected this. Instead of the tissue paper pages, she had made small binders with the laminated pages. It was strong enough that I could turn them without ripping, but I still had to be careful.

That alone was enough to keep me entertained, and not murderous. In fact, each hour the scent waned, the more control I had of my mind.

Edward and Carlisle had already set up chess. Alice and Jasper were setting up chairs. Esme was…picking up rocks? I would have to ask her about that. Rose and Emmett were missing, as per usual.

I did find it strange that they all…gravitate to one another so much. Maybe I just hadn't experienced a fully functional and openly loving family. There were instruments, chatting, and general relaxation. Doing this for a week was going to be a breeze, but it was still odd.

Something else in general just felt odd. Or off. I couldn't explain it.

Alice frowned, a light scowl. She hadn't been able to see clearly, again. It was bothering her.

Edward thought it was because we weren't doing anything important, so maybe her brain was relaxing.

I didn't buy it.

I sat on a hammock chair, rocking myself with my foot in beat with the current. The skin on my legs sparkled in the light, mesmerizing. Edward watched the waves, sitting next to me. I ran my hands through his silk hair.

This was heaven. This is what it was intended to be. It didn't feel real.

I watched the reddish and brown tones shift through his hair. I sighed in contentment, and he glanced up at me in question.

Before I could open my mouth to say anything, a sharp howl pierced through the air.

Edward shot up, giving me a quick look before running into the tree line.

"Bella, stay here."

I didn't listen of course, and shot after him. It was a feeble attempt, he was faster and I was still fairly clumsy.

I saw a flash of red, running towards it.

"Edward!" I called out, before colliding with a ball of fur.

It hit me like a car, cracking us into a tree, toppling it over. I groaned, peeling myself off of the trunk and sitting up. It didn't hurt, but it definitely felt like my body had moved in a way it wasn't supposed to.

"Bella?" There was a quiet, bewildered voice behind me. My eyes went wide—my mind would never be able to forget what his voice sounded like. I gulped, taking in a sour wet dog stench that shocked my nose.

"Jake." I whipped around, standing on top of the fallen tree and taking a step away.

Even standing on the trunk, I was only a few inches taller than him. I took another two steps back, checking for any other wolves. I turned back to him, seeing the hurt coursing through his face and body. He was trembling as tears pricked at the corners of his eyes.

"Wha—what happened?" He held out his hand to me, gesturing in despair. I watched his eyes roam me, landing on my eyes very last and going wide.

"They're red…" He took another step forward, and I took a step back.

I could feel my instincts running through me. It wanted me to run, and was planning every scenario to get away. Another part of my brain was keeping astute track of Jake's movements, making sure he stayed a reasonable distance.

Edward ran through the treeline, stopping when he saw Jake. Edward glanced at me, giving me a quick nod to make sure I was okay. I nodded back, turning to Jake again.

Jake looked between the both of us, distraught. "I-I thought you wouldn't do it. How could you leave Charlie…and me?" His eyes trained on Edward, his mouth turning down in disgust. "How dare you. How could you take away her life? You were gone, Edward. Dead. We were happy."

Edward laughed, "happy? You think that she was happy with the fact that you abandoned her? You don't know what makes her happy, Jacob."

"He's right—I am happy, Jake."

Footsteps came up behind him, and there were all of his friends. Their faces were hardened, and looked at me with disgust. He turned his head to them, giving them a look.

Edward scoffed, his hand reaching out and wrapping around my hip, pulling me away from them. "Don't be like that, Jake."

Jake's eyes narrowed. "Get out of my head, leech."

Behind us, I heard everyone else arrive. Carlisle cleared his throat. "Gentlemen, I am so sorry to have caused any upset—"

Jake held up a hand. "Save it, Cullen. You have broken the treaty." He looked at me now. "Absolutely none of you will step foot in Forks ever again. Not even you Bella." He shook his head. "Not even to see Charlie."

My breath caught in my throat. "What? Why?"

Sam spoke up from behind him, standing taller and raising his chin. "Because they made a promise not to bite another human. I'm sorry. We have come to inform you of the breach, and nothing more than that." He turned to Jake. "Jacob! Let's go. That's all we came for."

Jake didn't move. He looked at me and Edward. His hands reached out for a moment, before falling back to his sides. I could see the steam coming off of his body as he shook.

"I loved you. So much." He said before changing into a wolf.

"That's it? You guys came all the way out here for that? How did you even know?" I shouted at them all, my anger rising.

Sam shot me a look. "Don't think we don't keep tabs on what you say to Charlie, Bella. You'll have to be smarter than that if you're making enemies. Technically by agreement, we were going to kill you, and the rest of your clan. But it's a fair fight, and I don't want to lose any of my pack. You're lucky today. So watch your mouth, leech." He spat at me.

A deep rumble erupted through Edward's chest.

"That's enough." He growled at Sam.

Jake moved into a crouch, his teeth bared. I watched as his fur raised, preparing for attack.

Carlisle stepped in front of us. "Enough. I ask that you leave. We will not go to Forks, you have our word."

"That means nothing to them." Edward hissed.

Every pack member transformed into a wolf, and Edward pulled me back closer to him. "They said this is the only warning they are giving to us, or they will kill us all. He said that if we value our lives, we will move to another continent."

Carlisle didn't say anything to that, instead just nodding once in affirmation to the wolves.

They backed away slowly into the treeline, never taking their eyes off of us. I listened to their heartbeats disappear, and the smell slowly dissipated.

Edward wrapped his arms around me tighter. Carlisle turned, looking at everyone. "You heard them. I don't want to have a fight with them, they are just children. I believe we should leave for Europe as soon as we can."

Everyone stood in silence, looking amongst each other.

Alice sighed, frowning. "Well, so much for a relaxing camping trip." She grabbed onto Jasper's arm, pulling him away. "Let's go pack, again."

Carlisle looked at us all empathetically. "I know this isn't ideal, but we must. We will figure out Charlie, Bella. I promise." He sighed, looking at Esme with a small smile.

"Say, it has been a while since we visited Italy, yes? I'm sure Aro would appreciate a visit from all of us."

---

1 year later

I sat on the plane, one hand resting on Edward's knee while the other fidgeted with my hair. I looked out the window, and tried to ignore the millions of sounds I could hear in this small compressed space with too many humans.

Blending in wasn't so much of a struggle anymore, and neither was the thirst. Being around others who did feed on humans was surprisingly a turning point for me. It altered me, seeing them murder people without a care in the world.

After that…adventure—if you could call it that—We travelled. Hiked. Lived.

Spent several mornings on the roof, dizzy from alcohol and various substances, watching the sun rise.

Sometimes it was too much, and it felt like my chest was going to cave in with the strange appreciation and happiness I had. This life was more than I could have ever asked for. And, I gained more experiences than I would have if I was human.

But something was still missing.

Charlie had been calling everyday about six months ago, asking—begging me to come back. He told me that Jake had told him he saw me on vacation earlier in the year, and that something wasn't right.

I assume that maybe he thought Charlie wouldn't tell me that.

I don't know why Jake would try to put him in danger, but I guess we weren't exactly friends anymore. I started to question if we had ever been friends at all.

That's why we were coming back, or as close as we could. Charlie was going to meet me in Vancouver, and we hadn't gotten any further than that.

Alice said she could see the first visit going just fine, but each time after that the possibilities became endless. She felt bad that her gift was so uncertain, but I understood. When we were in Italy, we discovered that I was a shield. I didn't have it under control yet, and it was barely useful beyond keeping Edward and Aro out of my head.

A baby started to fuss, and people slowly started to complain under their breath. Rosalie huffed, shooting a remark to the people in front of her about them being heartless. She folded her arms, twisting around to shoot a glare over the back of the seat.

"This is the last time I will ever listen to you."

I chuckled, smiling and ignoring her. She and I had become friends, somewhat. Over the course of our time in Italy. But even then, frenemies is possibly a better term for our relationship.

"You're the one that wanted to experience something just like a human. Not my fault." I shrugged. She said that she wanted to know what it would have been like if we were just regular people, so I showed her. It wasn't my fault she didn't like it.

Emmett twisted around, narrowing his eyes. "Could you take a break from arguing? For the rest of the flight, please?" He leaned back, putting the eye mask over his eyes. "I'm trying to sleep." He said with a devilish smirk.

I bit back a smile, and Rosalie sat back, smacking his arm playfully.

Edward leaned over to me, whispering in my ear. "We need to think about what we are going to tell Charlie."

I stiffened, trying not to let the rollercoaster of emotions overtake me. I nodded. "Right. Okay."

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You're different. That much is obvious. But it's been a while, so hopefully he won't notice. And if he does, he will explain it away himself. If he doesn't, though, we need to know what to say."

Emmett turned around again, whispering. "Just tell him you received some sort of strange beauty treatment. A spa one. Guarantee he won't ask anything else after that."

"And if he does?" I grimaced.

Edward shrugged. "Then ignore them, and stick to the story. That will be the best way to explain away all of it."

"What if he wants me to come home and starts begging again?"

"You will have to just tell him the truth. That you are happier travelling—or something that is believable in that way. If he becomes insistent, then we could have Emmett step in, but of course he is a last resort."

Rosalie snorted. "I can't believe you all think that will work. Leave me out of this, I'm staying at the hotel."

"I'm a very appealing fake boyfriend, believe it or not. I think it'll work just fine." Emmett retorted back at her.

The seatbelt sign flashed on, cutting off all discussion.

I leaned back against my seat, blowing out a deep breath. There was a lot of pressure surrounding this entire meet.

Edward refused to be too far away, while still trying to make sure that there is no way that Charlie would see him. That alone was a risk. Adding an unhinged Emmett and having him pretending to be my boyfriend was unpredictable, at best. If he had to get involved, then there was no promise that everything would be a secret for too long.

But, it was all we had.

Alice and Jasper stayed in Italy, and were going to be there for the next few months. Something about Jasper's battle strategies caught Aro's eye, so they couldn't be here. Carlisle and Esme were settled in their home at the hospital over there too.

So, it was just us.

---

I stood outside some random coffee shop—Charlie picked it. It smelled like ham and stale milk, but I digress. Food wasn't exactly appetizing anymore, so I wasn't a good judge of it.

I flicked the ash off my cigarette, watching the embers float to the ground. Each minute that passed by, I felt my nerves get worse. What would he think? Say?

"You're still doing that shit, are you?"

A smile spread across my face instantly. I looked up, "Dad." My voice caught in my throat with unexpected emotion.

His eyes crinkled in the corners, and I could see the bags from years of lost sleep under his eyes. He looked so…different now. My heart clenched with the reminder that he wouldn't be here forever.

He held his arms out, "Bells."

My arms wrapped around him, and it felt like holding a little bird. So frail, and one wrong movement I felt like he would crumple underneath me.

He let go, holding me out to arms length. "You look so happy, and healthy. Sturdy. Did you do something to your hair?"

I chuckled, looking down. I had a thick layer of makeup on me to help me look less like some sort of pale ghost. At least it seemed to be working, and I would have to thank Rosalie for that. "I went to a lot of spas, got some fancy woo woo treatments. That's all." I explained, waving the comment away.

He sighed, his eyes twinkling with excitement. It was almost impossible not to be as giddy as he was at the moment.

I snuffed out my cigarette with the heel of my shoe, and we went to sit.

"So, tell me about where you've been, what you've done. You said you had a semi-permanent job here?" He grabbed a menu, holding it out a little to see better, glancing at me over the top.

That was a lie, of course. But it was the best excuse we could come up with to explain away the reason we couldn't go to Washington.

I nodded, "yeah. Real great opportunity. I'm travelling with my colleagues, and we will be back in Europe after a little bit here. Not sure how long though."

He listened actively while I ran through the events that I had scripted to say to him, and some of them I hadn't. The truthful ones were difficult to tell because they centered around Edward, and I felt like he could sense that.

Not sense Edward per se, but that there was someone else in the picture that I was omitting.

"Mhm." He said, staring off thoughtfully. He picked at his croissant, and so did I, making sure not to eat it, but I drank my coffee. It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't good.

"So, anyone new in your life? Seems like you went on a lot of…group excursions."

Oh boy, here we go.

I sighed, giving him a knowing look. I rolled my eyes. "Yes. Yes, they were."

"And there would not happen to be a…romantic partner that took you to all those places?"

I laughed, opening my mouth to reply when he interrupted. "B-Because I think that would be good for you, you know. I don't wanna overstep, but I really would love to meet a fella that caught your eye. And, if you did, maybe I wouldn't have such a reason to ask you to come back to live with me. I miss you, Bells. Your room is still ready for you whenever. No pressure, though."

"Thanks, dad." I said, giving him a small smile.

The heavy thud of the front door, and the shrill ring of the bell captured my attention, and I looked over to see Emmett standing there.

My eyes went wide, looking just past Charlie's face. My brow furrowed in confusion, and he spotted me right away.

"Jacob is here." He said, under his breath. A small gasp escaped me, and Charlie caught it. He gave me a perplexed look before turning around to see.

Emmett plastered on a fake smile, walking over to the table.

"Bella!" He said with fake glee. He looked down at Charlie. "This must be Charlie." He held out his hand.

"Pleasure to meet you, sir. I've heard so much about you. Bella here wouldn't stop telling me about her childhood during the plane ride over." He sat down next to me, throwing an arm over the back of the chair.

Charlie narrowed his eyes at me, turning his head to the side before giving me a knowing wink. He jumped into conversation with Emmett, who pressed on and on about football, and other things that Charlie liked. I saw what he was doing, and took it as my way out.

"I'm gonna go to the restroom; I'll be right back." I said to them both, slipping away. They hardly noticed, which was relieving.

The moment I stepped outside, I could hear the yelling.

I rushed around to the back side alley of the cafe, seeing Edward and Jake inches from one another.

"Stop it!" I whispered at them, rushing over to separate them.

They didn't even look at me. "Bella, back the fuck off." Jake spit out. "I told you to stay away. What are you going to do to Charlie? Huh?" He stepped forward, trying to intimidate Edward.

Edward growled."No, you idiot. It's not like that. She's seeing him for the first time. We aren't evil, despite your prejudices—"

Jake stepped closer to Edward, his body vibrating with anger."My prejudices! O-ho no that is rich, coming from a murderer. Leech. Blood-sucking demon. I could go on for day—"

There was a sharp smack, and I jumped back, realizing that the sound was my hand making contact with his cheek.

Jake turned to me, eyes wide with shock. He started trembling even more.

"Bella, get back." Edward cautioned, taking a step back himself.

I held out my hands in surrender. "Jake, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It was just a reaction…"

The sound of tearing clothes and a deafening roar split through my words.

Jake erupted into his wolf form, towering over Edward and I by several feet. He looked vicious, his teeth gnashing together and snapping at us twice.

Edward and I backed away, the sound echoing off of the alleyway. If Jake didn't calm down, he could seriously hurt us.

"What the hell is going on here?"

At that moment, we all froze. Even Jake, who's mouth snapped shut, eyes going wide.

I didn't turn around, too fearful for what I would have to explain.

"Bella?" Charlie called out to me. I turned my head slightly, looking at Edward. He looked petrified in every sense.

We had fucked this up, big time.

"Dad." I said, turning to him and trying to hide every emotion in my face as much as possible. Neutral, give nothing away. Except for the fact that I have no explanation for any of this.

Charlie was at the corner, his mouth hanging open in shock. He didn't even look at me, instead looking at Jake.

"Wha—" He said, and I heard his heart set off like a horse. His breathing picked up to a pant, and I worried he was going to have a heart attack.

He rushed forward, and that's when I realized that he wasn't looking at Jake at all.

When he was within distance, he grabbed onto Edward's shoulder, flipping him around. Edward didn't fight it, but looked at his feet, letting his hair fall into his face.

Charlie gasped, taking steps back. "You—you." He panted, "Edward?"

He covered his mouth, and leaned over onto his knees. "Oh god. Oh god. I-I need to sit down."

I rushed over, grabbing onto his arm and lowering him to the ground. The moment his body touched the ground he started sobbing, his shoulders shaking with vigor.

"Shh. Shh, it's okay dad. I'll explain everything I swear." My arms wrapped around him, holding him secure. Shit, shit this was bad. The venom in my eyes stung, and I clamped my eyes shut to try to soothe it.

"I'm sorry Bells, I don't know how he knew something was wrong. He ran out before I could stop him without attracting an audience." Emmett said, walking over to us.

Edward's hand rested on my shoulder, "come on love. Let's get out of the street. We can get to a more private area." He whispered, trying to stay a distance from Charlie, but close to me.

I nodded, pulling Charlie up to stand and walking him behind the cafe. On the other side of the alley was an abandoned building.

Emmett busted through the door, and I heard a growl. I almost jumped in surprise, having forgotten that Jake was there in the first place.

Inside looked like it had maybe been an auto garage before, or something of the mechanical sort. Either way, there was thankfully enough room for all of us.

Charlie cried into my shoulder. "What is happening, Bella? You're so strong…Edward—"

He lifted up his head, searching for him. His eyes went wide as he looked at him closer.

"Is that…is that you?" He turned back to me for confirmation. Edward's mouth was hanging open. I knew he didn't know what to say. How could he?

"It's him, dad."

He looked between the two of us, looking longer and frowning. Edward's brow was furrowed as well. Whatever Charlie was thinking, I knew it couldn't be good.

Charlie stood up straighter, taking a step closer to Edward. His hands came to rest on his hips, and he ran a hand over his face. "Alright. Alright. I am…not fine, but I need—I need someone to tell me what the fuck is going on. Why is there a giant dog here?" He turned in a circle, asking us all. His eyes were wide, and crazed. I worried that this was going to cause some sort of psychological break.

"It's Jake…he is a-um, wolf" I sighed, cringing at the sentence. This was going to break his mind, wasn't it?

"Jake's a—" He swore under his breath, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Alright." His voice was tired. "Edward. How are you alive? Bella? What is going on?"

"I can explain, dad. It just…it's something that would put you in danger if we told you."

"P-put me in danger." He said, confirming.

"Yes." Edward said, moving closer. "I'm sorry Charlie. Jake says that Billy can explain things when you get home. I-I wanted to tell you, I promise. I couldn't…"

"How long." He turned to me again, narrowing his eyes. "How long have you known?"

I shrank back, my stomach twisting into knots. "A year and a half. Maybe longer, I'm not sure."

He didn't say anything. His jaw twitched and he only nodded once. He turned to Jake, who whined. "And you? Did you know too?" He asked.

Jake whined again, lowering his head.

Charlie stiffened. "Alright. I-uh. I need a minute." He shoved his hands into his pockets and stormed out.

We all stood there in shock. Emmett rubbed anxiously at the back of his neck, on the phone explaining everything to Rosalie.

"She said that it was supposed to go well." Edward said.

I frowned, not understanding who he meant at first. It clicked a moment later. Alice.

Of course. He, and the rest of his family seemed to depend on it so much, and even blamed her when things went wrong.

I shrugged, walking over to him. "It's okay. She didn't mean to. If she knew that something could go wrong she would have told us. It was a complete accident, Edward."

He sighed, leaning his cheek against the top of my head as he pulled me into a hug. "Well, shit. What are we going to do about Charlie?"

The truth was that I didn't know. Telling him our secret would sign him up to be killed, or changed. And if that wasn't what he wanted then I didn't want that for him.

"It will work out in the end. I don't know how, but it will." I pressed my face into his chest, sitting in silence for a minute. "We should wait for Charlie. He will come back, and it will be okay." I told him, but mostly to myself.

He didn't respond, instead I heard him scoff in anger.

"What? Am I not allowed to touch her? Does it make you jealous?" Edward snapped at Jake quicker than I could react. His hands gripped me tighter, pulling me into him. "You lost your chance. You don't get to say whether or not I get to touch her."

My head pulsed, and my anger spiked, making it impossible to deal with the bickering for a second longer. All my brain power was being used up.

"That's enough!" I shouted, pulling away from Edward.

Jake was growling, foam falling from between his teeth.

"Charlie knows about this now, because of your fighting. I'm done with it." I sighed, turning to Jake. "Jake, you have no right to be here. We stayed out of the country, and you don't even have your pack with you. It's obvious they don't support this decision. Go home. Stop causing more issues with everyone just because you're bored at home. Please, Jake. This has nothing to do with you."

"He says that he has just as much right as I do to be here." Edward said between his teeth.

I scoffed. "No. You left. You kept your secret from me. I'm sorry, but that was your choice. Now, you don't have a choice about this. This is between Charlie, Edward, and I. You have a kid now, and a wife. Please leave."

Jake snuffed, whining a little and looking between us both.

"He says," Edward grimaced. "He says…in short, that he's sorry."

Jake didn't say anything else, I guess, because Edward was silent as he left out the same door that Charlie did.

I sighed again, melting a little bit in my shoes. This day had become exhausting.

I pushed a cigarette between my lips, lighting it. Edward leaned against a nearby pillar, resting his head back and closing his eyes.

What to do now? I rubbed at my temple, trying to think of a way to explain this to Charlie. How to explain this entire year. All of the secrets? I squeezed my eyes shut. What the fuck was I thinking going to meet up with him?

Emmett walked over, sitting on the ground. "Well, Rose says we are idiots."

I nodded in confirmation. "Yep." I said, the p popping. We sat in silence for a few more minutes before I heard the rustling of footsteps by the building.

If it was Jake, I was going to lose it.

"Bella?" Charlie's hoarse voice approached.

I opened my eyes and saw him standing in the doorway. He narrowed his eyes again, clearing his throat. "I have a lot to say. And, you're in so much trouble…" he sighed, his mouth turned down into a permanent frown. "I'm not okay with you keeping things from me. It-it hurts. But, uh- I'm ready to listen to whatever you have to tell me. You look…different. Edward looks different. I know that there's something I don't understand. So, tell me."

I pursed my lips, glancing at Edward. "Just tell him, Bella." He said, too low for Charlie to hear.

I nodded, taking a deep breath.

"If you want the truth—the real truth, then there's a risk you will die. I understand that you are upset, and I want to make it right." I looked around, searching for the words. "I don't want you to die. So, I have to ask if there's any way I can tell you as little as possible, with the promise that no danger will come to you? If you have to know, I understand, but you have to also. It could very well cost you your life."

Charlie thought about it for a moment, pacing as he brushed his hands over his mustache. "No." He sighed, "I don't think I can. I need you to tell me what's going on. I don't care what the risk is. This is too—no, I can't let this go."

I sighed, looking at Edward. He was sad, that much I could tell. I knew he would be upset that we were going to have to bring another person into this. That part was our fault.

But, in the end it was Charlie's decision. He had been through just as much as me. Would I have been able to accept that Edward was alive without any more answers?

Emmett patted me on the shoulder. "It's okay, we got you." He smirked.

"Right, okay." I said, moving closer to Charlie and holding my hand out to him. "Dad? Grab my hand. Feel it. How does it feel to you?" I asked.

He took it, hesitant at first. He gripped onto my hand, flinching back at first. "You're freezing Bells."

I nodded. "I don't feel cold. I don't get sick. I don't…get older."

I told him, watching his eyes go wider and wider. I explained that we were vampires, and that Jake was a wolf. I told him everything I could possibly remember about everything that had happened.

That included when I had been changed, and what it was like. I told him how I met Edward, and how they had found me. I told him about Alaska, and all of our family. Even everyone's gifts.

By the end of it all, I felt sort of breathless, as if that was possible.

He sat there for a while, turning over several facial expressions. I watched Edward for any sort of indication, but again he looked just as confused as he had before. I wanted to ask him, but didn't want to be rude to Charlie.

"Wow. To be real honest, I don't know what to say." Charlie blew out a deep breath.

He looked up at Edward, holding out his arms. "Come here, boy. I've missed you like my own."

He enveloped Edward into a hug, who was hesitant at first. I figured if he could cry, he would.

We invited Charlie to the hotel we were staying at, and explained our life in Italy. He didn't have much interest in the vampire bits of it all, so I left it out as much as I could. He understood that he could never tell anyone about it, and that someone could find out that we told him and try to kill him. I guess the risk was worth it for him.

The one thing that stuck in my mind was when I asked him if he would want to be changed afterwards, or if his life was in danger.

"Hell no." He said, chuckling as if it was the strangest thing I had ever asked him.

I didn't know how to feel about that yet. That I would have to let go of him one day, maybe sooner than I ever wanted. Maybe I had time to convince him to change his mind.

The next few days were filled with thousands of questions, and moments where I thought my heart might burst. Having Charlie and Edward in the same room was something I never imagined happening. Until that moment, I hadn't realized just how much he had held it together for me. Edward's death had affected him just as much, if not more. He took on so much of the burden, and carried me through it.

I hugged Charlie extra tight, wanting to memorize every piece of our time. We all felt closer than ever before, and to be quite honest I didn't want to go.

He was going to go back to Forks, to talk to Billy. He would be safer there, under the protection of the wolves anyway. No matter what Jake thought, I knew that Billy would protect him.

We were at the gate, and he was saying bye to us one last time. I promised that we would come back to Vancouver for Christmas and other big holidays, and that seemed to be enough for Charlie. But still, the tears brimmed in his eyes, making them red.

He gave Edward a long look, telling him whatever he had to say without words. Edward nodded, clapping him on the back.

"Bye, my Bells. Remember to call me, and not to do anything crazy. Tell me if you move or if something happens, ok? I'll see you before you know it." He smiled, giving my hand a small squeeze before ushering us through, and onto our plane.

---

Edward gripped onto my hand, pulling me onto his lap. He sat on a lounge chair on our covered patio. We lived in a small home with a view of the city. Alice and Jasper were our neighbors, and down the street was everyone else. I liked it more this way. It gave us the privacy we needed, wanted.

I was continuing my degree, and Edward was finishing his second. Everything in Italy seemed to just…work out. In every single way. Everyday I thought it couldn't possibly be better than the last, but somehow it was.

I ran my fingers through his hair, earning a groan from him. He turned me around, so I was facing forward, rubbing my shoulders.

"Do you like it here?" He asked, his breath tickling my ear. I laid back against his chest, looking at the blue sky above.

"Mm. Yes, very." I sighed in contentment.

I felt him tense up. "How much though?"

I sat up, turning to look at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

He smirked at me, but I could see the nervousness edging around his jaw. I quirked my head to the side. What was he up to?

"Well, for starters I think that we should purchase this home, not rent. Maybe it could become a semi-permanent location for us?" I couldn't contain the grin that spread across my face. Staying here meant Charlie could visit… we could be settled for a little bit. I could even get a job. My mind spun with possibilities.

"Wait, before you get carried away. I can see the gears turning already. I have one last question…" he reached into his pocket, pulling out a small box. "I think that maybe if you like it here enough, then maybe it's good enough for us to get married."

I gasped as he pulled the lid open, showing me an almost exact replica to the ring that I had before. I knew it couldn't be the original, but it was close to. My vision blurred, and I choked on my tears.

"Edward…"

"I hadn't proposed sooner, because I wanted to find the perfect time and place to do it. I figured after all this time, that's the least that I could do for you." He chuckled. "It was silly, because you've given me everything and more than that in this lifetime, and the previous one. How could I not have acted on it? You are the one for me, forever, Bella. And it took until recently that I've realized there is no right time and place. Because every place that you are is the right one for me. It will always be that way, because you are my home." He leaned forward, his liquid amber eyes eager.

"Isabella Swan—will you marry me?"

The end*

Thanks again for anyone that stuck around to the very end. I wrote this in another week-long spurt, and haven't really had much time to edit. I do hope that you like it, and that it made you as happy as it made me.