Just to be safe, Deeks arrived at the cafe Kensi specified early, not wanting to risk running late. He was certain she wouldn't give him a second chance no matter the excuse.

The Cats and Cradles Cafe was sandwiched between a small bookstore and a Subway. Since the parking lot was pretty busy, he chose a space spot almost at the end, which had a good view of the entrance.

So much for exerting self-control, Deeks thought wryly. All it had taken was seeing her smile again, and a few well-placed, blunt words, and he'd caved. Though if he was being honest with himself, he hadn't tried all that hard to resist.

"Daddy, what are we doing?" Caleb asked, stretching his neck to get a better look out the window. He'd clambered out of his car seat to the front and emptied half the contents of his backpack onto his lap soon after the they arrived. After hobbling around with an ice pack on his ankle for a few hours last night, he'd made a stunning and miraculous recovery. Deeks was glad he was alright, but once again amazed at his dramatics.

"We're getting coffee," Deeks answered, pausing for a second before adding. "With Miss Blye."

"Why?"

"Because we have something to talk about." Caleb frowned at Deeks' response, tilting his head to the side. He fiddled with a fuzzy keychain for a moment.

"Are you going on a date?"

Deeks has expected as much from Caleb, ever curious and rarely subtle, so he had an answer ready.

"No," he said firmly. "We're just going to have coffee. Like friends do sometimes."

"Oh. Can I get hot chocolate?" Caleb requested. Pushing off his seat, he wriggled onto Deeks. Caleb twisted his fingers in Deeks' hair in a longstanding gesture of comfort and affection.

"Yes, you can have hot chocolate. But not a large cause last time you were up half the night," Deeks told him, glancing in the rear-view mirror to watch for Kensi.

"Ok." Caleb kissed him on the cheek and slid back to his own seat. He played with a couple toys he'd managed to sneak into his backpack. A miniature Captain America and Black Widow scaled his seat belt with accompanying superhero noises.

Shaking his head, Deeks grabbed his phone to check his work email. He'd be working late again tonight to make up for the last couple days. Oddly enough, the thought didn't bother him as much as it normally did.

"Jenny and Isaiah in my class went on a date for ice cream last week," Caleb offered unexpectedly a couple minutes later. Deeks raised an eyebrow as he turned to Caleb. He was now arranging the action figures on the back of his seat. "Cause she's his girlfriend."

"Sounds very romantic," Deeks said neutrally.

"Uh-huh. Isaiah got Jenny a stuffed bear with a heart on it. I know cause she brought it to show to everyone at lunch. Even though Isaiah got sick on the ride home."

Caleb gave him a look that suggested he'd just made a relevant point and Deeks nodded.

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to take away from that, but good story. Sounds like Jenny's a keeper."

A black Corolla pulled in two spaces down, and Deeks straightened as he recognized Kensi's profile through the driver's side window. His stomach clenched slightly with nervousness he hadn't felt since he was in high school.

"There she is. Hey, buddy, I might call Miss Blye "Kensi" some of the time, but you can't call her that, especially not at school, ok?"

"Ok, but why do you get to call her that?"

"Well, she's your teacher and sometimes we have different rules for different places, you know."

"You mean like how I'm not allowed to run in the hallways at your office when your boss is there?" Caleb asked as he quickly shoved everything back in his backpack.

Kensi was already waiting for them, leaning against the hood of her car. Caleb slipped the straps on his back as Deeks climbed out and hurried around the front to help him out.

"Hi Miss Blye," Caleb called loudly, waving like he hadn't just seen her less than two hours ago. He automatically took Deeks' hand, as he always did in public.

"Hey Caleb. I wasn't sure you'd actually show up," Kensi commented, addressing the last part to Deeks as she crossed over to them. Deeks chuckled, dipping his head.

His stomach swooped again at the sight of her. She wore a red, knee-length dress that brought out the warm color of her skin and emphasized her long legs.

"I guess I deserved that," he agreed. "I wouldn't make that mistake twice though."

"Good." Offering him a cheerful, if slightly sarcastic smile. When she reached down, Caleb readily slipped his other hand into hers, and together they walked to the cafe.

Inside, there was a pleasant buzz of activity without being overwhelming. The front of the cafe was bright and airy thanks to the floor to ceiling windows which made up the front wall while the back half was darker. Low tables and armchairs created a cozy atmosphere. There were also several shelves with books and games. Caleb immediately dropped Deeks' hand and wandered over to examine a half-finished puzzle on one of the tables.

"That's why I suggested we come here," Kensi said, drawing Deeks' attention back to her. "I figured it might be easier to talk if Caleb was entertained and didn't overhear everything we say."

"Thanks. I know it's not ideal, but he's kind of my favorite sidekick." He paused, hesitating slightly. Even though Kensi was great with Caleb, he knew how exhausting it could be to spend time around other people's kids. "I have to leave him with Marissa, his babysitter, enough as it is."

"You don't have to explain yourself, Deeks. I admire your relationship. I wish more parents cared about their kids the way you do with Caleb."

"He's my whole world," Deeks admitted. "In case you couldn't tell."

"I had no idea," Kensi teased. She lifted her chin towards the line which was 3 people deep at the moment. "C'mon, we should order before the after-school crowd gets here."

In a few minutes the barista handed over a large, iced coffee, a medium vanilla latte, and a small hot chocolate with a blueberry bagel. Deeks brought over the last two to Caleb, who acknowledged him with a brief glance, currently consumed with a set of Lincoln Logs. When he turned around Kensi had chosen a nearby table.

"You know, when Monica and I were dating and first got married, all she talked about was being a mom. She wanted three or four kids," Deeks started, sitting down across from Kensi.

"Oh, Deeks, you don't have to tell me any of this," Kensi said quickly and when he glanced at her, she wore a look of mild discomfort. "I didn't ask you to meet me here to guilt more information out of you. I meant what I said before."

"I know," Deeks assured her. With just a few words, she'd managed to raise his estimation of her even higher. "But, I promised to make my…egregious behavior up, and part of that, I think, has to include explaining more about my past. Not as an excuse, but just to let you in on why I am the way I am."

Kensi hesitated, using her index finger to draw a circle through the trail of water left behind from her coffee.

"That sounds like a pretty serious talk to have over an iced vanilla latte." Deeks could tell she was trying to lighten the situation, but he heard the slight dismay in her voice.

"It is. But once you know everything, then you can decide if you want to be friends."

"Ok, then I'm listening."

Deeks heaved a sigh, checking in on one more time Caleb before continuing. Even though he'd initiated this conversation, he wasn't exactly looking forward to telling the details he left out last time. "We met in college, dated for three years, got engaged and married—by most people's standards—pretty young. Everything was…idyllic for the first year or so," Deeks recalled. He glanced slightly above Kensi's head, vision blurring as he remembered how happy they were at first. The plans they'd made in giddy whispers while they laid in bed.

"What happened after that first year?" Kensi asked softly, like she was afraid of startling him.

"I honestly don't know for sure. Like I said, Monica always talked about having a big family and I wanted that too. She got pregnant about 8 months after we were married, and," he chuckled to himself. "We were beyond happy. We made lists of names; Monica would come home from the store with a new outfit for the baby every other day. It seemed perfect.

"And everything was great after Caleb was born too. At least for a little while. Then somewhere along the way, I realized something was different. Monica tried to pretend, but I could tell she wasn't as happy. I'd come home, and we'd barely talk, or she'd find some reason to stay home from family outings."

Deeks twisted his cup between his hands, feeling guilty all over again even though he wasn't sure what he could have done differently.

"It sounds like maybe she was having some postpartum symptoms."

"I thought so too," Deeks said in answer to Kensi's comment. "But she told me that she was fine, and the doctor agreed." He shrugged. "I thought maybe she needed to get out of the house more or do something that felt like her own. We talked about her going back to school and me cutting my hours so I could stay home more. I was willing to do just about anything to see her smile again, really smile. She insisted she wanted to stay home with Caleb." Outside of yoga, he thought with dark humor.

"When Caleb turned three, I thought things were finally getting better. Monica seemed freer, happier again. Turns out I read the signs wrong because it was just a couple weeks later that she left."

"I know I said this before, but I am so sorry, Deeks," Kensi told him.

"Thanks." Rubbing his hand over his jaw, Deeks shifted uncomfortably. "I searched for her, you know. I didn't go so far as to hire a private detective or anything, cause that just seemed creepy and like the plot of a bad 80s movie, but uh, I searched. And I asked all her friends, family, if they knew anything. I was worried, I was sad. For months. And then, just when we were starting to get a handle on things and readjusting to our new life, Monica showed up on our doorstep out of the blue."

"What did she say?" Deeks laughed wryly at Kensi's question.

"That I looked good, and she was sorry. I know, it's pretty cliche. I didn't care though. Stupidly, I thought she was back for good. I begged her to stay, and, uh, she said no. She said that she'd always thought she wanted to be married with kids, but once it happened, she realized she was wrong. Tried to stick it out as long as she could. Eventually gave up."

He remembered his confusion, quickly replaced by joy and relief, and finally anger. Kensi waited, giving him time to process the memories and his thoughts.

"Monica stayed a few weeks that time before disappearing again without any warning. It was nearly a year before she showed up again and I decided to file for divorce. I didn't want to run the risk of her taking Caleb and never seeing either of them again. I know, that's a terrible thing to suspect someone capable of, but I truly didn't know her anymore."

"I don't think it's selfish," Kensi disagreed. "Given the circumstances, it sounds like you had Caleb's best interest in mind."

She made it sound noble, not knowing that there'd still been a part of him that was hurt and angry when he helped draw up his own divorce papers. "Mm, that's what I told myself," Deeks sighed. "I've always wondered why she wasn't just honest with me. Would it have devastated me, absolutely. But if she'd just said that she needed space or wanted a divorce, it could have been so different."

"Maybe she thought it would be easier that way. I think you're a pretty convincing man, Marty Deeks." He looked up sharply at that and Kensi quickly added, "In a good way. I'm guessing Monica wanted to avoid all that and just make a clean break." She shrugged. "I know that's probably little consolation." She seemed worried that she'd overstepped some invisible boundary while they openly discussed his failed marriage.

"No, no that's a really good point," Deeks said, assuring her that he wasn't offended with a quick smile. "If only I had you around to knock some sense into me back then." Unexpectedly, Kensi dipped her head, suddenly almost shy.

"If only." Her eyes flicked up for a moment and Deeks felt a rising tension that had nothing to do with the current topic. It lasted for several long moments before he abruptly looked away, clearing his throat loudly.

"Um, anyway, Monica has visited once since she granted me full custody. So, I suppose you could say that's when my trust issues started."

"And the reason you're bad at relationships," Kensi surmised.

"Pretty much. Plus, between figuring out how to be a single parent, moving, and starting a new job, it's surprisingly difficult to form bonds. It's been the two of us for so long that sometimes I'm not sure how to let another person in."

"It sounds to me like you're afraid of getting hurt again."

And there was the bluntness again. God, she was amazing. Taking a sip of her coffee, now mostly melted, she studied him for a moment, her gaze direct and observant. Whatever hesitation, or shyness from a moment ago, was long gone.

After nearly a half-minute, by which point Deeks started feeling just a little uncomfortable, her expression shifted with some unknown decision. Deeks tensed, suddenly anxious for her response. As much as he had convinced himself that distance was for the best, he wasn't ready for this to be the last time they saw each other.

In a businesslike manner, she pulled a sticky note and pen from her bag and wrote something he couldn't quite see. Peeling it off the table, she offered it to him until he took it with a raised eyebrow

"That's my cell," she explained. "Contrary to what you might believe, your story hasn't scared me off. Is it messy? For sure. But I don't think that should stand in the way of us becoming friends."

"I'd like that," Deeks said quietly, tucking the paper into his pocket as he gazed into her warm, brown eyes again.