Chapter 7:Christian's POV
November 19, 2016
The next day was a Saturday, and I spent most of it working. Ros and I both went in to Grey House, and we spent most of the morning discussing potential CFOs and their strengths and weaknesses. In the past week, we'd conducted half a dozen in-person interviews, and another four via Skype. Of those ten candidates, we had our favorites narrowed down to four, and I hoped we could do a second interview with all four of them within the week, and make a decision sometime the next week.
I spent the afternoon going over spreadsheets for potential acquisitions and making calculations. By dinner time, I had determined what I wanted to offer for each company. I'd handle each of these deals to try to take some pressure off Ros, for now.
The GEH plane, which was bringing Ana and Ray home to Seattle, wasn't scheduled to arrive until 9 p.m. By 7:30 p.m., I had finished dinner, showered again, changed clothes three times, and was now bouncing off the walls. I needed her. Here. Now.
Taylor was off duty since it was the weekend, and it was Sawyer's night to work security. At 8:00, I'd waited as long as I could wait. We headed to the airport to meet Ana and Ray. The plane landed about ten minutes early, and it took a few more minutes for her to disembark. And then... there she was. She looked tired, but lovely. My beautiful Ana.
I held my breath as she made her way towards me, hoping against hope that she'd want to hug me. I still couldn't tolerate touch from anyone else, but Ana... she could touch me, and I longed for it, but I didn't want to make the first move because I'd promised her we'd take things on her timetable. My dreams came true when she ran the last few feet towards me and threw her arms around me. The next thing I knew, we were kissing. Had she initiated it, or had I? I really think she had. Holy shit! She wanted me! She was really going to agree to be mine!
I deepened our kiss, and only the sound of somebody clearing their throat nearby made us both realize what we were doing, and I reluctantly took a step back. I smiled at her, and she smiled the sweetest smile back at me. She was here, in the flesh, in my arms. Finally!
"Welcome home!" I spoke first.
"Are you two finally going to admit what's going on between you?" Ray asked.
Ana rolled her eyes. "Dad, don't start."
"Well, you already know how I feel," I said. And he did. On our flight to Europe two months ago, as Ana had napped beside me, I'd explained to Ray exactly why I was paying for his treatment. He'd pressed me to level with him, because he still wasn't comfortable with the financial arrangement, and he didn't fully believe the story Ana had given him about how I'd worked out the details with Dr. Lind so that we got a very reduced price for Ray's treatment in exchange for my financial backing of Dr. Lind's research. That much was true, but it wasn't enough for Ray.
Of course, when I told him how I felt about Ana, I'd left out the part about almost stooping to extortion and turning his beloved daughter into my whore, but I was honest about wanting to help him because she loved him and I was in love with her. He'd had a few choice words for me, including more than one threat on my life if I dared to hurt his little girl. But by the end of the flight, he'd asked me to call him Ray. Over the next few days, before I left for England, his trust in me grew as he saw how I treated Ana. What can I say, I loved her then, and I love her now. Of course, Ray didn't know about my suicide attempt or the true nature of my time in England. Like most people, he believed I was taking a couple of weeks vacation just to get away and recharge. Only a handful of people: Ana, Jason, Gail, Ros, Elliot, and my therapists, knew the full extent of my reasons for needing a month-long therapy stint. Most people didn't even realize how long I'd been away.
"Can we go now?" Ana asked, ignoring her dad's comment and my response, in her typical way of avoiding anything related to our feelings for one another. This was something that I'd become very accustomed to over the past two months.
Ray got in the front seat next to Sawyer, leaving the backseat for Ana and me. She let me buckle her in, and then she let me hold her hand all the way to Ray's assisted living complex. All three of us walked Ray in, and Sawyer followed usual protocol in securing the unit. It didn't take us long to get Ray settled in, and then we were on our way to Ana's apartment.
I knew that Ana had an efficiency apartment not far from Pike Place Market. It was, in fact, within an easy walk of Grey House, and I knew she usually walked to work, unless it was raining too hard, in which case she took the bus. She'd told me months ago that she preferred not to have a car since she lived in the city, and I hadn't questioned it at the time.
"You know, it's strange that I've never been to your apartment," I commented as I stroked her hand with my thumb. There'd been that one time, when she'd found out about Ray's illness, that I'd almost visited her there, but we'd ended up meeting in a cafe instead.
"Why's that strange?" she asked. "It would have been strange for you to go there. You were my boss. You still are, technically."
"Yeah, you like to keep reminding me of that. I hope by now, you see me as something more than your boss," I told her.
She sighed, reminding me of how tired she probably was. "Yeah, I do," she simply answered.
"You know, I could have gotten Gail to clean your place before you returned. It's probably covered in dust."
She laughed. "You know, you aren't my only friend, right? I've had somebody checking on my place, watering my plants. And I even had it cleaned this week."
"Let me guess. The tenacious Miss Kavanagh?"
She laughed again. "Watered the plants, yes. Not cleaned. You don't know Kate if you think I'd ask her to clean my apartment."
"I don't want to know her," I muttered under my breath, but Ana heard me.
"You're so mean," she said, sounding more drowsy than before. "She still hasn't forgiven you for kicking her out of your building."
I didn't want to talk about Katherine Kavanagh. "How much sleep did you get on the flight?" I asked Ana.
"None," she answered. She yawned before explaining, "I forced myself to stay awake because I wanted to sleep tonight. One of the doctors in Sweden said it would help avoid jet lag."
"The jet lag is worse coming from Asia," I reminded her.
"Yeah, I remember," she agreed. "That was the worst."
"It didn't help that your slave driver of a boss didn't give you any time off when you returned from that trip," I joked.
"Yeah, he's so mean," she laughed as she repeated her words from earlier. Then, without warning, she unbuckled her seatbelt, scooted over in the seat, and snuggled against me. I put my arm around her and held her close. Here my girl was, in my arms, and I was in heaven. "You smell good," she said against my chest. "I missed you, Christian."
"I missed you too, so much, Angel."
By the time we got to her apartment building, Ana was sound asleep in my arms. I would have carried her to the elevator and up to her apartment, but she woke up as I was getting her out of the car.
"Christian, you can't carry me," she objected. "People will see."
"Let them see," I answered.
"You don't know which apartment it is," she reminded me. Oh, Ana. Didn't she know me by now? Of course, I knew which apartment it was.
"11E," I replied.
"Christian, put me down," she ordered me, so I did.
"As you wish, sweet Ana," I answered compliantly as I stood her on her feet. "Whatever you want."
She huffed and rolled her eyes. "Thank you. I'm not ready to be in Seattle Nooz as your latest fling," she said. "They already think I'm a gold digger, and we haven't even... you know."
"Who gives a shit what they think?" I responded. "They're stupid fucking vultures. And besides, I actually want people to know you're mine."
By this point, we'd entered the building, and Ana had greeted the security officer, Fred, she called him. Then we were in the elevator, and she'd punched the button for the 11th floor. Sawyer would follow us with the rest of Ana's luggage, and she'd given Fred instructions to let Sawyer in. I argued with her that Sawyer should do his usual sweep first, but she overruled me, stating that her apartment was secure.
In the elevator, Ana responded to my words. "Christian, I haven't agreed to anything yet," she reminded me. "We need to talk."
"We do need to talk, and we will," I agreed. "But first, you need to sleep."
We stepped out onto her floor, and I immediately smelt garlic. And chili powder.
"God, I've missed this place," she commented.
"Does it always smell like this?" I asked her.
"Usually," she answered. "Mrs. Lopez likes to cook, and her son usually visits each weekend. She's in 11C."
I'd actually thought 11E meant 11 East, as in two apartments per floor, an East and a West. But no, that wasn't the case, I noticed as we walked down the hall, past 11A, 11B, 11C, and 11D. I saw several doors past Ana's.
"How many units are on each floor?" I asked her.
"Depends," she answered. "This floor is all efficiencies. There are twelve units. Some floors have one or two bedroom apartments. There are six to eight units on those floors. And some have three or four bedroom apartments, depending on the layout. Those floors only have four units. The top two floors is a penthouse. I'm not sure how many bedrooms it has. It's for a bigwig. Like you." With that, she giggled. She'd reached her door, and she got out the key and opened it.
Her apartment was cozy but small. Very fucking small. How the hell did she fit all her shit into this tiny space and still keep it looking so neat?
"Ana, is this your living room or bedroom?" I asked her, feeling confused as I looked around me.
She giggled again. "Welcome to my humble abode, Mr. Grey. This would be my living area over here," she pointed to a sofa which had a small glass table in front of it. "And this is my sleeping area," she pointed to her bed, which was a four-post full-size bed made out of wood, probably oak. I almost got distracted thinking about what we could do there later, but Ana continued, "That over there is my kitchen," she said as she pointed to a corner of the apartment where there was a tiny refrigerator and the smallest stovetop I'd ever seen, with only two burners. "Oh, and the bathroom is through the door on the left, not to be confused with the door on the right, which is my closet. I sincerely hope you don't get lost." With that, she giggled again.
I really was at a loss for words. Finally, I found something to say, but it was probably the wrong thing. "Ana... if I'd known you were living in such a... tiny place... GEH has properties. I could have..."
"Christian, stop!" she ordered me. "I LIKE my apartment," she said. "It's the first place I've ever lived on my own. Kate invited me to share her place when we both graduated and moved to Seattle. She has a two-bedroom unit not far from here that her dad owns. But her brother Ethan is always in and out, and he... kind of creeps me out. He has a thing for me. And I knew he would invite himself over anytime, so I didn't want to do that."
"Thank fuck you didn't," I muttered. I couldn't bear the thought of an asshole like Ethan Kavanagh anywhere near my princess.
She ignored me. "Anyway, I could have found a 1-bedroom unit, but the ones I looked at in my budget were further from the city center, and the security wasn't as good. As I'm sure you noticed when we entered downstairs, this place has a 24-hour security guard on duty, and you can't get into the building without a key, and you can't get beyond the lobby unless your name is on the residents' list, unless you're accompanying someone or have written permission from a resident, like Kate has from me. You have to show an ID if Fred or whoever's on duty doesn't recognize you. I feel safe here. And besides, an efficiency was enough space for me. When I moved here straight from college, I only had a part-time job at the Seattle Public Library. I worked a few other part-time jobs here and there, like the one at Starbucks that you knew about. I managed to bring in a pretty good income from posting ads on campus at U-Dub and Sea Pac to edit students' papers. I did that in my undergrad too. I bet that wasn't in your background check."
"No, it wasn't," I admitted.
"Anyway, my main focus when I first moved to Seattle was to finish my MBA. I didn't have much to live on until I started working for you, but I did it, and I think I did well. Very few people can come anywhere close to your lifestyle, Christian."
"I didn't mean to insult you," I told her apologetically. "It's just... I've never... This place is smaller than my college dorm room was."
"Yeah, well, you did go to Harvard," she reminded me.
"Even still... I just wasn't expecting it," I explained.
"Oh, Christian," she said in her teasing tone that I'd come to adore. "It's good for you to see how the little people live. You know there are other GEH employees who live in this building, right? I'm not the only one."
"You're the one that matters to me," I told her.
"Yeah, so I've heard," she replied with the cutest little smirk I'd ever seen.
Sawyer took that moment to knock on the door, and Ana let him in. He set her luggage on the floor near her bed. "Thanks, Luke," she told him. Leave it to Ana to now be on first-name basis with the man whose wrist she'd nearly broken only a few months ago. Clearly, there were no hard feelings between them, but then, it was also because of her that Sawyer still had a job. Sawyer nodded at her and then left the apartment. I knew he was waiting for me outside.
I probably sounded like a nervous idiot as I said, "Well, I'll leave you to get some rest then. You should wait until tomorrow to unpack. Just sleep now. And I'll be back here tomorrow morning to take you out for breakfast."
"Christian... will you... stay?" she asked shyly. Oh, hell, yes!
"Umm... Sure, Ana. Of course." I sat down on her sofa and pulled her into my lap.
Ana blushed, and she said embarrassingly, "I'm sorry, Christian. That probably sounded like... I didn't mean... I'm not ready to..."
"Shhh..." I said. "No sex tonight, baby," I assured her. "I just want to... be here with you. I've missed you so much."
Ana responded by kissing me. My God, what a kiss it was! I never wanted it to end, and it didn't... for quite some time. I knew Little Grey was hard, and she could feel him.
Ana ended our kiss sooner than I wanted, but she stayed put on my lap. "Christian, we need to talk," she said.
"Ana... you're tired. We can talk tomorrow. Right now, just ignore Little Grey. Kiss me again, and then we'll go to bed. I mean... to sleep. We'll go to sleep." Shit, I sounded nervous. And did I just call my penis Little Grey out loud?
Ana giggled, which made Little Grey even harder. "You call your dick 'Little Grey'?" she asked.
"Ummm..." Shit, shit, shit!
"Christian, you're blushing! My God, you're adorable! Don't be embarrassed, your secret is safe with me. And by the... feel of things... Little Grey isn't little at all. Oh, shit! I sound like I'm flirting. I don't want to see him. At least not... tonight. Maybe sometime... ummm... sometime soon? That is... if you still... if you still want to... you know." Her voice had gotten faster and higher pitched. She was the one who was adorable.
"Now you're blushing too," I told her. "One of these days, I'm going to get you to say the S word."
"Shit?" she joked.
"The other S word."
"Ummm... maybe when I'm ready to do it, I'll say it. I might even use the F word."
"I'm not going to fuck you, Ana," I reminded her. "I'm going to make love to you."
"Sure, Christian, you keep saying that. And I believe you. We'll make love. A few times. And after that, we'll fuck. Hard. And then we'll make love again."
"Did you just use the F word?" I teased her.
"I did," she admitted.
"Is that what you want, Ana?"
"Not tonight, Christian. I need to know... OK, I said I'd wait until tomorrow to ask you this, but I'm awake, and I want to know now."
"What is it, Angel?" I asked her.
"Where do you see us... going?" she asked nervously. Then she bit her bottom lip. Damn, that did things to me.
"Going?" I asked confusedly. "Dubai in January?"
She looked just as confused as I felt. "Dubai? No, that's a question for another time." She paused for a moment and then asked bluntly, "After we fuck... I mean make love... where do you see our relationship going? After I agree to be your girlfriend, what then? What does the future look like to you?"
Shit, was I ready to tell her that? Was she ready to hear it? Well, she was asking, so obviously, she wanted to hear it. "The only future I see is with you, Ana," I answered.
"OK, that scares me a little, considering... You almost... I mean, what if... And you admitted to me yesterday that you're obsessed with me. I just don't want you to..."
"Shh..." I put my finger over her perfect lips to stop her. "Relax, Ana. I promise, I am at a very good place now. And I gave you my word, that night, that I would never attempt to kill myself again without talking to you first. And now, I have a team of very good therapists that I can also talk to. You do not need to worry your beautiful head about that, Princess. I'm going to be here for a long time. All I mean is... when I think about the future... I see you in it. It's the future I dream about."
"OK, where do you see us five years from now?" she asked.
I didn't have to think about it because I'd already been giving it a lot of thought. "In five years, I see us married, with at least one child. Maybe another one on the way."
Her eyes grew large. "Really? Do you mean that? Or are you saying it because you think it's what I want to hear?"
"I honestly don't know what you want to hear, Ana. I'm telling you what I hope for. I was afraid to tell you anything like that because I don't want to scare you away."
She smiled warmly at me and sighed, and my heart just about exploded. "You're not going to scare me away, Christian, especially not by talking about your dreams for the future."
"So...?" Did I dare ask her? Yes, I did. "Are you saying... you like the idea of being married to me? And having... umm... children... with me?"
She smiled that smile again, warming my heart. "You have no idea, do you? Any woman would have to be off her rocker to not dream about a future with you, Mr. Grey. Yes, I'm... open to the idea... of having your babies. Some day. Not tomorrow. Don't go buy an engagement ring just yet. We need time, a lot of time. I don't want to rush into anything, and I want to make sure... you know, that this is what we both... what's best for both of us."
"You're the only one I want, Ana," I assured her.
"I know, you've told me," she responded. She wasn't smiling anymore, and I wanted to figure out a way to put that smile back on her face. "I guess for taking things slowly, that confession could have waited a little, huh? I'm far from ready for any of that. I'm still not sure... Anyway, I'm not ready to do anything that could result in babies. Right now, I want to take a shower. Then, I want to sleep with you. I mean... shit! I want to sleep in my bed with you lying beside me. Sleep!"
"I get it, Ana. No s-e-x," I teased her by spelling the word she refused to say.
"I'm not a prude, Christian. I'm just..."
"Scared. I know. No pressure, Angel. We won't go there until you're ready."
She nodded at me and then got up off my lap. She glanced at my lap and then blushed again. "Little Grey isn't little at all. I think I have a good reason to be afraid," she said jokingly.
I felt my face grow warm. I couldn't believe I'd actually called my dick 'Little Grey' in front of her, and now, I knew the name was going to stick with her. "He may be a big boy, but he's all yours," I told her, mainly because I wanted to see her blush again.
She stared at my lap openly now, and I spread my legs a little to give her a better view of Little Grey, because I knew my erection was prominent even through my trousers. She didn't disappoint me with her adorable pink face. Then, without saying anything, she turned and went into her bathroom.
While she was showering, I went to the hallway outside her apartment and instructed Sawyer to grab my overnight bag from the car. I knew it was a long shot, but I'd packed it just in case. After he brought it, I instructed him to take the rest of the night off.
As I was checking my email on my phone, Ana surprised me by walking back into the room wearing nothing but a towel.
"I'm sorry, Christian. I forgot... I usually don't need to think about anybody being here. I usually get dressed in here."
"Well... don't let me stop you," I told her salaciously as my eyes roamed her delectable body. The tops of her breasts peaked out over the towel, and her ass was barely covered.
She snorted. But then she surprised me again. She looked in my eyes and I saw the lust in hers. "Maybe next time," she said, and my God, she sounded sexy and looked even sexier as she bit her bottom lip.
But in the next instant, she'd grabbed a t-shirt and a pair of shorts from the chest of drawers and returned to the bathroom. She was back in a couple of minutes, dressed in what was obviously her sleepwear. I didn't approve, but I didn't tell her that. She belonged in the finest satin and silk, but I was feeling more confident that I'd be able to get her there at some point in the near future.
We didn't talk much after that. I used her bathroom to brush my teeth and change into my own sleepwear, which was also a t-shirt and pair of shorts. Normally, I just sleep in my boxer briefs, but I knew she wouldn't be comfortable with that.
When I returned from the bathroom, Ana was already in bed, but she wasn't asleep. She motioned for me to climb in on the other side, so I did. I pulled her into my arms, and she was asleep within a minute. I lay there for a few more minutes, marveling at the fact that Anastasia Steele was allowing me to share her bed. And then, I fell asleep with a smile on my face.
November 20, 2016
Music. Loud and annoying music. Where the hell was that coming from? As I slowly came to my senses, I realized that I was in bed, but not in my bed. Someone was curled up in my arms, and they were touching me, but I didn't feel any pain. I felt only... peaceful, like I was where I belonged. I realized why when woke up enough to see that I was in Ana's bed. With Ana, who was slowly coming to life. She was, indeed, curled around me with her head on my chest, which she groggily raised and looked at me. I'm sure I was also blinking my own eyes the same way she was blinking hers.
"Seattle better be on fire," she mumbled irritably as she reached for her phone. "Six fucking thirty in the morning. What the hell is she thinking?" The music had stopped, but it started again just as Ana picked up her phone and looked at it. Holy hell, that music was her ring tone? How could she put up with it? It would annoy the hell out of me.
"Kate? What the hell? Could whatever it is not wait until a decent hour?"
The next thing I heard sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard, even more irritating than the ringtone. I'd forgotten how annoying the sound of Katherine Kavanagh's voice was, and I could hear her loud and clear.
"Ana... have you lost your mind? You're with him now? You're kissing him in public and letting him carry you in his fucking arms?"
Ana held the phone away from her face a little because Kate was too loud. "What the hell are you going on about, Kate?"
"Wake up, Ana!" Kate shouted. "Look at the damn news! You're all over the gossip sites!"
"You woke me up at six fucking thirty in the morning to tell me that?" Ana snapped.
"Answer my question!" Kate insisted. Bitch. It was none of her fucking business. "Are you dating him now? Isn't he still your boss, Ana? What the hell are you thinking?"
Ana was cool and calm as she replied, "Seeing as how I only returned to the country a few hours ago, and I've been asleep most of the time I've been here, I'd say it would be a little difficult for us to be dating. There hasn't exactly been time..."
"You know what I mean, Ana!" Kate shouted. "You kissed him at the fucking airport, as soon as you landed! Are you together?"
Why did it sound like she was accusing Ana of something? I'd had all I could tolerate. I took the phone from Ana's hands and said, "Yes, we're together. Now, fuck off and mind your own business." Then I ended the call.
I tried to pull Ana into my arms to snuggle with her, but when she sat up and glared at me angrily, I knew I'd fucked up.
"Was that necessary?" she snapped.
"She's an annoying bitch," I answered defensively.
"So you announced to her that we were together, just because you think she's a bitch? Really?"
"No, I announced to her that we were together because we are, and I wanted her to go away. She's annoying."
"We aren't together, though. We haven't made anything official."
She had to be fucking kidding me. "I am here, in your bed, Ana. Literally, we are together, in your apartment, and we have been since last night."
"That's not what I mean, and you know it," she puffed in frustration.
"OK, then, let's clear this up. Will you, Anastasia Steele, be my girlfriend? Officially? Should I get down on one knee?"
"Christian, you're such an asshole sometimes," she snapped.
"I'm an asshole who loves you, Ana. Please, baby, say you'll be mine. You know I never beg, but I am begging you."
Her expression softened, and I knew I had her. "We aren't having sex. Today, I mean. And you should apologize to Kate."
"Yes on the no sex today. I've told you... not until you're ready, no matter how long it takes. No pressure. Oh, and I do love you, but there's no way in hell I'm going to apologize to that bitch."
Ana sighed. "I won't argue that Kate can be a bitch, but she's also my best friend. My jealous best friend at the moment, but still... she'll get over it. You didn't have to hang up on her."
"She's jealous of you?" I asked. "Is that why she sounded like she was accusing you of murder or some shit?"
Ana nodded. "Yeah, because she... Shit, now I'm betraying her confidence."
"Ana... it's not betraying her confidence. I get it. She had a thing for me. That wasn't hard to figure out when she flirted with me all through that interview. It was one of the reasons I couldn't wait to get rid of her."
Ana's eyes got large. "She flirted with you? That's not how she described it."
"Well, of course it wasn't," I snorted. "But yes, she did. I don't remember the details now because it was over a year and a half ago, but I remember feeling... annoyed. Flirting women always annoy me."
"I'll keep that in mind," Ana quipped.
"Not you, obviously," I quickly corrected. "You can flirt with me any time, baby." I gave her what I thought was a sexy smile.
Ana was back to ignoring such comments and behavior. "It was why she asked you if you were gay. She was convinced that you'd want to... prove to her that you weren't. It was a ploy."
"I figured as much," I admitted. "Hence, my insistence on the fact that she's a bitch. I think I made it very clear to her that I wasn't interested, but she couldn't take no for an answer. I made sure she understood."
Ana sighed. "She's really not that bad," she said. "She knows she doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell with you. But she really had a crush on you."
"How's that possible, seeing as how she didn't even know me?"
"Christian Grey? Really?" Ana teased. "You think women all over the country don't get a little wet when they see your picture on the cover of Forbes? And Kate... well, she is from a family similar to yours in that she grew up with money. But unlike Carrick Grey, her father is a royal jackass, and she's spent half her life just trying to win his approval. She thought that if she could... you know... get your attention... then her father would be impressed."
"You're not making my opinion of her change any," I told her.
"Yeah, well, I don't expect your opinion of her to change until you get to know her," Ana said. "You both have skewed opinions of each other based on what you think you know, not on what you're both really like. Kate is extremely loyal. She's a good person. That's why I feel bad, because now... I'm... with you. I'm sure she feels like I'm betraying her."
"Well, that's too bad for her," I said without an ounce of empathy. She just admitted she was with me. I needed to hear her say yes to being my girlfriend, but this was progress.
"I think what she really needs is a man of her own," Ana said with more compassion than Katherine Kavanagh deserved.
"Not your problem," I told her. "And you still haven't given me an answer."
"You know who seems more her type than you?" Ana asked, totally blowing off my comment, and then answering without giving me a chance. "Elliot."
"Elliot's a man-whore," I responded. "I'm not sure he's any chick's type, unless she's looking for a one-night stand."
"Well, Kate's had plenty of those. Other than her creepy brother, it's the other reason why I didn't want to room with her anymore. But I think Kate wants more than a fuck and duck, but she doesn't... I don't know... I think she sometimes comes across to guys as a one-night stand kind of girl, so that's what they expect from her."
"So, she's a bitch and a slut," I commented dryly.
"And you're an asshole," Ana replied in the same tone I'd just used.
I smiled widely and told her, "That right there. That is why I love you. Well, one of the many reasons."
"You love me because you're an asshole?" Ana quipped.
I laughed. "Because you aren't afraid to tell me when I'm being one. You aren't intimidated by me. I fucking love that."
"Oh, I'm intimidated," she responded. "But not for the reasons that most people are."
This was news to me. This woman had brought more order to my life than anyone ever had while simultaneously turning it upside down, and she felt intimidated by me? "Why are you intimidated?" I asked her.
She snorted. "Like you don't already know? You're a sex god and I'm a virgin. You have all this experience... tying women up and doing all kinds of kinky fuckery. And I'm... I've never even given a blow job. I haven't even seen a penis up close and personal. Unless you count Little Grey, but thankfully you've kept him covered."
"We can change that anytime you're ready," I assured her.
"Why?" she asked, ignoring my flirting in her usual way. "You can have any woman you want. There are plenty who have a whole hell of a lot more experience than I do."
"But I don't want any of them. I want you. Only you."
"Why, Christian?" she asked.
"Because you're... perfect. You draw me unlike anything I've ever experienced. You're a flame, and I'm a moth that can't help himself. I love your innocence, Ana. I fucking love the fact that nobody has ever had you, that I'll be the only one. I'm going to love... training you."
My words only made her look angry. "I'm not a submissive, Christian," she reminded me.
"I know, and that was a bad choice of words. I don't want you to be a submissive," I assured her. "I didn't mean that kind of training. I meant... learning how to enjoy sex."
Ana's anger melted away. She fell back on the bed and squeezed her eyes shut. "Oh, God! When you say things like that..." She trailed off.
What? When I say things like that... what happens. This, I had to know.
"Ana, usually you change the subject when I say things like that. What is it? What happens when I say things like how much I want you to enjoy sex with me?"
She opened her gorgeous eyes and looked at me, and I almost got lost in the depth of those blue orbits. They were filled with lust, which partially answered my question, but I needed to hear her say it.
"I feel all... tingly. And needy."
"And horny?" I pressed.
"So horny," she admitted.
"Ana, can I make you feel good?" I asked her. Please say yes, please say yes, please say yes!
Now her adorable blush was adding to her sex appeal. "You mean... like you told me before. You want to use your tongue?"
Oh hell, yes. She was killing me. "If you'll let me," I answered much more calmly than I felt.
She stared in my eyes for the longest time, and finally, she nodded. "OK," she said.