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Warning there's plenty of Sheyla mush in this chapter.
Chapter 4: Hello old friend.
Two and half years earlier.
New Lantia
John was sitting in his office, and it was getting late, so he considered whether he wanted to go and watch a movie with Ronon. Although Ronon was spending a lot of time with Amelia these days, so he decided against it. Rodney was usually tied up with Keller when he wasn't off-world or in his lab and Carson had left Atlantis five months ago to treat the sick and injured in the wilds of the Pegasus galaxy. Zelenka had even found love with one of the new scientists on board, so basically, he had no one to hang out with. Lorne seemed to be spending a lot of time with the new marines, which was probably a good thing because they were his troops now.
Wow, I sound like a whining baby, get a grip John, you're the leader of the expedition, these people are your subordinates and although you're still friends with them, they don't need their boss hanging out with them every five seconds.
It was at times like this that he missed Teyla. She had been gone six months now and she showed no sign of coming back. Although he'd seen Teyla a few times over the last six months, she had kept her distance from him, and his heart still ached from her constant rejection. He had only seen Torren twice in that time and when it was time to go back to New Athos the little boy had clung to him and sobbed in distress. Eventually, Torren had settled down and gone with his mother, but his heart had broken when the little boy had left his arms.
Through all of this, he'd had to try and hold it together since he was the leader of Atlantis now. Luckily, they hadn't run into too many problems. Todd had recruited more hives to take the retrovirus and civil war was brewing between those who had taken the retrovirus and those who hadn't. Worlds were still being culled though, so Lorne and his men still spent a great deal of time relocating entire populations of people.
There were also plenty of expeditions to ancient labs that Rodney insisted needed to be checked out. Rodney had also talked him into testing ancient devices on more than one occasion. Although Rodney didn't have to talk him into it because he usually did it when he was bored.
The good thing for him though was that he'd only been in the infirmary once since they'd been in the Pegasus galaxy again. Somehow, he'd come down with a virus and he'd spent twenty-four hours in the infirmary vomiting – among other things. He'd still felt fatigued for a week afterwards and had slept a lot of the time – much to his annoyance. The weird thing about it was the only other person to come down with it as severely as him, was Lorne. Jennifer suggested that it may have had something to do with their strong ATA gene.
Sometimes he longed for the days when he was out in the field and not stuck doing paperwork all day. He'd thought about resigning on more than one occasion, but what would he do if he did? He was positive that he wouldn't get his old role as military commander back – then he didn't want to take away from the fantastic Job Lorne was doing. They would probably send him back to Earth and give him a job leading a gate team – not that he wouldn't have fun with leading a gate team again, but he wouldn't be on Atlantis in the middle of the Pegasus galaxy any longer.
A few hours ago, he'd had his monthly meeting with the coalition of planets and as usual, it had been incredibly boring – he really hated politics. As usual, the representatives told him what was happening in their particular part of space and as always, they were telling him things that he knew already. He wished that Teyla were by his side at these meetings since she was always better at politics than he was.
The burden of command was beginning to take its toll on him and at the moment he felt he was going it alone. He needed someone strong and capable by his side and although Lorne was doing an admirable job as his 2IC he still wasn't Teyla. She understood him as no one else did – at least she used to. He'd been in contact with Landry and O'Neill once a week for the weekly status meetings, but it wasn't the same as having someone to talk to daily. Maybe he should talk to Atlantis' psychologist, Dr Eva Robinson – but then maybe not.
Perhaps he would head to his quarters and watch a movie by himself before having an early night, he'd pick up something to eat from the mess hall on the way to his quarters and then he could keep to himself for the evening.
He was just shutting his computer down when Amelia Banks walked into his office carrying a tray of food.
"What are you doing here Banks, I thought you'd be off with Ronon."
"I will be in a moment sir, but I've just finished my shift and I thought that you may like some dinner first."
She placed the food on his desk and smiled before leaving the room. If there was one thing, he could say about the staff on Atlantis it was that they were extremely considerate and polite towards him. He wondered if they were ever that considerate to Woolsey.
Sighing he took the lid off the plate and was surprised to find that there was a large serving of pizza, with a can of coke beside it. Turning his computer back on he began to eat his dinner – alone. There was still plenty of paperwork he could be doing – for some reason, the SGC and IOA loved paperwork – but he thought that a game of computer golf would be a better idea.
Half an hour later he shut his computer down and left his office. Lorne was on duty tonight, so he knew that Atlantis was in good hands, "goodnight, Lorne, I'll see you in the morning."
"Goodnight, Sir."
He headed to his quarters as quickly as possible, and he was relieved when no one stopped him along the way.
Once he was in his quarters, he took off his boots and holster, placed his weapon in a safe hiding place then quickly changed into some comfortable sweatpants. He took his garrison shirt off but left his black t-shirt on. He didn't have to wear BDUs any longer because technically he wasn't in charge of the military, but he felt comfortable in them, so he continued to wear them – he was still an air force officer after all.
He thought about setting up his laptop to watch a movie but decided that he was too tired. Looking at his watch he realised that it was 2100 hours, he knew that Lorne would wake him if there was any emergencies, so he decided to get an early night. Hopefully, he'd be able to get a full eight hours of sleep before the monotony began again.
A short time later a chiming sound invaded his senses, and his sleep-addled brain had no idea what it was, so he lay still trying to work out what was going on. Was Atlantis under attack and Lorne was sounding an alarm – no that couldn't be it because Lorne would have told him if there were any problems. The chime sounded again and this time he realised that it was to door. Looking at his watch he realised that it was 2200 hours – who would be contacting me at this time of night?
Sighing he pulled back the covers and thought the lights on and then he thought the door open, "Come in," he called to whoever was on the other side of the door.
When the door opened, he got the shock of his life to see Teyla standing there and suddenly he felt defensive, "what can I do for you Teyla!?" He knew his tone was matter-of-fact if not a little bit harsh, but she was the one that had been avoiding him for the last six months.
"I only wish to talk John."
Okay now she wanted to talk, but what about the last six months when he needed to talk to her? He thought about telling her to go away and he didn't want to talk, but in the end, he invited her in.
When she sat next to him on the bed, he suddenly felt uncomfortable, she had on one of her Athosian outfits and she smelt wonderful as always.
"What is it you wish to talk about?" He asked with apprehension.
He could see tears in her eyes as she began to speak, "I am sorry for pushing you away John."
His voice came out as a gentle whisper as he answered her, "why did you do it then?"
"I know that Kanaan asked you to look after Torren and me before he died and at the time, I told myself that I didn't need anyone to look after me or my child. I could go it alone, as I had done many times in the past. I was the leader of the Athosians once and I was strong and capable. I thought back to our time on Earth and I was able to be a mother to my son back then, so why not now."
He nodded his head permitting her to continue.
"In recent times I have come to realise that this is not true. Ronon was there helping me on Earth as were Jennifer and Amelia, but I feel the person who helped support me the most was you."
"Why did you suddenly come to that realisation?"
"Halling and Ronon have been telling me for the last few months and I often saw that even though I told myself I did not need your help, Torren certainly did. Torren thinks of you as his Dad, and I suspect that he always has. I desperately wanted him to see that Kanaan was his father, but recently I have come to realise that he never knew Kanaan. You were the one who read him stories at night, you were the one who played with him, and you were the one who comforted him when he was crying. Kanaan will always be his father, but you are his Dad in every sense of the word."
Things were certainly beginning to feel uncomfortable, and Teyla's tears were flowing freely now, but he wasn't sure whether she wanted comfort from him, so he kept his distance.
Clearing his throat he asked, "so where is T.J tonight?"
"He is with Halling, I wanted to speak to you alone tonight, so I will go and get him in the morning."
He was bewildered by the conversation that was going on right now. Teyla admitted that Torren wanted to be with him, but what did she want from him?
"So where do we go from here?"
"I would like to come back to Atlantis, "she took a deep breath before continuing, "and I would like to be with you. Ronon and Halling have continued to remind me of my true feelings for you over the last six months and I would hope that you feel the same way."
Wow! He thought. I was not expecting that. Of course, I love her and want to be with her, but what am I supposed to do? She had just spent the last six months ignoring me after all.
He looked up into her beautiful tear-stained face and his heart melted. He put his arm around her, pulled her in for a hug and he held her tight when she finally let go of her pent-up emotions and started to sob uncontrollably. There were tears in his eyes by this time and he was glad that Teyla was the only person around to see it.
They stayed like that until they were spent, so he lay down on his bed and gently pulled Teyla down beside him. Kissing the top of her head he whispered, "you can sleep here tonight and tomorrow we'll find you and Torren some quarters."
He held her close and listened to her breathing and he knew exactly when she fell asleep. He tried to stay awake for a bit longer and enjoy the closeness, but it wasn't long before he fell into a deep sleep.
The next time he became aware, he heard the shower running and for a moment he wondered who was in his quarters. Then he remembered the night before when Teyla had come and apologised and told him that she wanted to be with him. She had then curled up beside him and they had fallen asleep, and it was the best sleep that he'd had in months.
He almost shot out of bed when the door chime sounded. Looking at his watch he realised that it was only 0600 hours and he wondered why someone would be at his door.
The door chimed again, and he heard a voice on the other side of the door, "hey Sheppard are you in there?"
"Hang on Chewie!" He shouted hoping that Teyla got the message and would stay in the bathroom.
He thought open and the door opened to reveal a sweaty Ronon standing there, "so Chewie what have you been up to?"
"I've just finished my run, so I'm just going to have breakfast and I'm wondering if you're coming. I think Teyla's back on Atlantis."
Ronon stepped into the room and looked in the direction of the bathroom, "is there someone in the bathroom?" He asked and John didn't miss the sly grin.
He was about to deny everything when Teyla stepped out and he was thankful that she was dressed.
Ronon's mouth dropped open before turning into a smile as he looked at the two of them, "So, you are back on Atlantis?"
"Yes, Ronon and please do not tell anyone what you have seen here. I merely needed some comfort and John and I fell asleep and nothing more."
"If you say so Teyla. So, are you back for good?"
"Yes, Ronon I am."
Suddenly he felt worried that Ronon would start spreading rumours about him and Teyla and at this moment nothing was going on between them. He hadn't had a chance to discuss things with Teyla, but he suspected that she wasn't ready to jump into a full-on relationship right now.
"Buddy, I'd appreciate it if you didn't say anything until Teyla and I have had a chance to talk and decide how we want to proceed."
"You have my word Sheppard; I will not say anything. Now, are you two coming to breakfast or not?"
It was Teyla who answered his question, "I think that we will head over to New Athos this morning to pick up Torren."
John secretly hoped that Ronon wouldn't decide to come with them, because right now he wanted some time alone with Teyla and Torren.
"Okay, I'll catch you this afternoon then Sheppard. Don't forget you promised me a sparring match?"
"What about Banks, don't you want to spar with her?"
"Nah, she's on duty, so you'll have to do."
"I'll see you at 1300 hours then."
Ronon nodded and quietly left the room, leaving him alone with Teyla. Sitting on the bed again he invited her to sit beside him. Once she was sitting down, he turned to her and took her hands. He knew what he wanted to say to her but given how lousy he was at expressing his emotions, he suspected that he'd stuff it up.
"I'm thinking that we should take things slowly. Umm…I know that Kanaan died six months ago, but Umm… I feel that, Umm…you may still need time to get over it."
"Thank you, John, I would like to be with you, but I would appreciate it if we took things slowly."
Thankful that the conversation had ended – well he assumed it had ended – he looked at his watch and realised that it was almost 0630 hours and given the time difference between New Athos and Atlantis, the Athosians would probably be getting ready for their lunchtime meal.
"So shall we head to New Athos and pick T.J. up?"
"Yes, and perhaps we can partake of the lunchtime meal with them."
He knew that if he were going to be off-world today that he should probably let Lorne know about it so that he could take charge.
"Sheppard to Lorne come in please?"
"Go ahead."
"I'm going to New Athos for a few hours, so can you hold the fort?"
"Did you say you're going to New Athos? I thought that Teyla was here."
"Yes, Teyla is here, and we are going to pick up Torren since Teyla has decided her place is on Atlantis."
"Okay, but I'm going to bed for a few hours. Major Teldy is in the control room, and I'll let her know that you won't be on Atlantis."
"Okay, I'll see you in a few hours, Sheppard out."
He turned to Teyla and took her hand, "right are you ready Teyla?"
"Yes, let us go and pick up our son."
He couldn't believe what he had just heard Teyla had called Torren their son, he chose not to clarify things now because he was afraid that Teyla would change her mind.
oOo
The day was sunny and warm as he exited the stargate onto New Athos – a stark contrast to when he was here six months ago. They had decided not to bring the jumper and to enjoy the half-hour walk together. He knew that he'd probably have to carry Torren home, but he didn't care because Teyla was by his side, and all was right with the world – or galaxy – again.
He also knew that although things had been quiet on Atlantis that anything could go wrong at any time. But now he had Teyla by his side again and he knew that with her help he could handle anything. Sure, Ronon had his back and Lorne, and the rest of the military was there to help him, but there was something about Teyla that gave him strength.
They walked in silence holding hands and admiring the view and for now, he felt as if he was on top of the world. Things were going well on Atlantis; he had a great team working for him and now he had his best friend beside him. Very soon he would be seeing Torren again and he loved that little boy as his own. T.J. was two and a half now and he wondered how much the child had missed him. Perhaps it was time to take him for a ride on the skateboard, or the tricycle that he had brought the kid for his last birthday.
Five minutes later they came to the Athosian settlement, and it looked as if everyone was gathering in the clearing for the lunchtime meal.
Halling ran out to meet them, "Colonel Sheppard, Teyla, will you be joining us for the lunchtime meal?"
Teyla bowed her head towards him in a traditional Athosian greeting "Yes Halling, I believe that we will stay, but first, we would like to see Torren."
Just then the little boy came running towards him at full pelt and John bent down to catch him in his arms.
"Daddy! I miss you."
"I missed you too pal, so how would you like to come to live on Atlantis with Momma."
"And you?" The boy asked with puppy dog eyes.
"Sure pal, I'll be there."
"We wide sateboared."
"How about we head back to Atlantis after lunch, and I'll take you for a ride on the skateboard then and maybe after that we'll go for a ride on your tricycle."
"Yay!" Torren squealed with excitement as he hugged him closer.
He took Teyla's hand in his and together they walked over to the clearing to share a meal with the Athosians, and at that moment he couldn't be happier.
TBC…