Chapter 5: On the Move.

Present time.

Somewhere in the Pegasus galaxy.

Suddenly the stars shone a little brighter and he wondered whether it was due to the memory, or if some cosmic miracle had occurred right in front of his eyes. He'd take a miracle any day because he certainly needed one right now

Perhaps he would have to do something that he hadn't done since he was a child, maybe he could pray, before he lost all hope. As a child, he'd gone to church every Sunday without question and he'd believed in a higher power, but now when everything seemed to be going wrong, did he believe in that higher power or were they just victims of fate – of whatever life threw at them?

Shaking his head, he tried to think back to the memory of the night Teyla had come to visit and as he stared out into space a smile spread across his face as that had been one of the happiest times in his life – until that point. Within a day of Teyla's night-time visit, he felt as if he'd become a family man. When he divorced his first wife Nancy, he never thought he could find happiness with another that was until Teyla came along.

For the next six months, things had gone smoothly on Atlantis – sure there were still worlds being culled and the Wraith were still fighting each other. But the number of hives being injected with the retrovirus had continued to climb.

The amount of paperwork he had to do had continued to be excessive and monotonous, but now that he and Teyla were together, things didn't seem so bad. In fact, seeing as there seemed to be a lot of downtime for the inhabitants of Atlantis he passed some of his work off to Lorne, who then passed some off to Teldy. He had no idea whether it was passed any further down line or not, but he didn't care since he was so happy.

Although he'd been carefree and happy he'd remained on high alert because anything could happen at any time and he was the leader of the expedition, so he needed to be ready for whatever came their way. Although his life had been full and he'd been happy, he still went to bed at the end of the day feeling exhausted – but at least he didn't have to go to bed alone…

He looked up at the view again and for the first time, he realised the engines had started up and Atlantis was beginning to move. He wanted to scream and shout as to why he hadn't been informed that they were moving, but Keller had relieved him of duty – which was part of the reason he was standing out on this balcony staring into space. When he had protested and told her that Atlantis was in trouble and he needed to help, she had merely smiled and told him that there were plenty of capable people on Atlantis and he needed some time off. Luckily, she had made one concession and that was that Lorne and Rodney would keep him in the loop, which they had both been doing.

Rodney had informed him about twenty minutes ago that they would be heading to a nebula a day's journey from here, so he assumed that was where they were going. He had no idea what would be going on when they got there because he had a lot on his mind right now and he knew that he needed to be someplace other than on this balcony staring into the endless abyss of space. But for some reason, he found it comforting as if reflected his dark mood.

Two people arguing interrupted his deep contemplations and again he was annoyed, why couldn't people leave him alone? He would go inside when he was good and ready to do so.

"Jennifer, just leave him alone. He'll come inside when he's ready."

"I am worried about him Rodney."

"You don't think he's going to do something stupid do you, Jenn? I don't know like jump off the balcony into space."

"Can he do that, Rodney? I mean won't the shield stop him or something."

"Of course, it will, but that doesn't mean he won't try, or he won't do something equally as stupid!"

"I'm really just worried about him Rodney."

He was getting tired of these two arguing – why couldn't they just kiss and make up? And now they were discussing his mental health. Of course, he wasn't going to do anything stupid, he knew that he had people depending on him, so why would he? He turned around to face them ready to give them both a piece of his mind.

"What do you both want!?"

"Well, umm…as you…can…see we're moving again and umm…we should be at the nebula in a little over twenty-two hours Atlantis time." Rodney stammered and as usual, it was endearing.

"Thanks for letting me know McKay," he turned to stare at the doctor before continuing, "what can I do for you doc?"

"Teyla needs to see you right away."

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "T.J is spending time with his mother right now. I will be in to see her when she has spent quality time with her son."

"Stop hiding from her!" Jennifer suggested rather forcefully.

He spoke with controlled anger as he answered her, "I am not hiding, as I said before I am merely giving her time with her son. So how about the two of you get back to whatever it is you're supposed to be doing and leave me alone!?"

He knew that he was on edge but given what was going on at the moment who could blame him, perhaps he would see Doc Robinson when this was all over.

The next time Jennifer spoke to him her voice was soft and gentle, "don't stay away too long."

"I just need time," he answered in a whisper.

He was relieved when Jennifer walked away. Rodney stared at him for a moment before nodding and following her again.

This thing that was going on with Teyla now, was just another on the long list of things that had gone wrong over his lifetime. Sure, he knew there had been good times too and although the six months after Kanaan had died had been difficult, the following six months had been incredible.

He had spent most of his spare time with Teyla and Torren, Teyla had even agreed to learn to play golf. He had spent many hours with Torren teaching him how to ride a skateboard – not that he did too well because at the time he wasn't even three.

Torren's third birthday had been a wonderful affair, with friends' cake and a huge party. He had celebrated it once on Atlantis and then again on New Athos. Perhaps that was the final happy moment before everything started to go wrong.

He felt a lone tear running down his cheek as he felt Atlantis picking up speed because thinking back to that day reminded him of the fact that it wasn't long after the party that he had lost Amelia and Ronon…

TBC…