A/N: Wow, I can't believe I've finally done it. Over 5 years, 51 chapters and longer than some books, it's finally finished. When I started writing this a little over 5 years ago (I think I was on holiday) I never thought it would be as long as it would. I initially thought it would take a few months and may run to 20 chapters. But hey ho. I did toy with killing Sirius off. I can understand why JK did (Harry would have probably hunted horcruxes with Sirius.) But I just couldn't. He's my favourite character.
At some point I will have a minor rewrite. Nothing major, there's just bits I would like to change. Nothing that would alter the plot, just help with the flow of the story.
My other fic, In Darkness, will be continued but it is undergoing a rewrite. So, if you are reading that one, I will be deleting from chapters 2 onwards. It is more to do with flow than anything else. Having reread it recently, I am not as happy as I would like to be. The bare bones will remain the same, but there will be changes.
And finally, and most importantly, I have to say a huge thank you to my faithful beta Ambush99. I'm dyslexic, so often my spelling and grammar is totally up the creek. She somehow makes sense of it all.
Right. On with the final chapter of The Secret Keeper. Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, it really helps. I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it.
Chapter 51
Sirius eased the bike into the next corner. Before the trip, he hadn't ridden for a while, but after six weeks the bike had begun to feel like an extension of his body. Six weeks, he thought to himself as he manoeuvred the bike to avoid a pothole, it felt like he had been away for far longer. For the first time in he didn't know how long, he had begun to feel like himself again. Maybe it was as long as before he had been taken hostage by Voldemort, sixteen years ago. He had survived the confinement and had taken a small amount of time to vaguely recover, before stepping headlong back into the full force of war. Then there was the war, and later running a Ministry department, followed by hunting Horcruxes. No. It hadn't been restful. And as much as he tried to tell himself otherwise, he hadn't fully recovered. He had been nowhere near his best. He would tire far quicker than he had before. It took him longer than before to recover. But he guessed it made sense. His body was trying to repair itself, and he had been pushing beyond its limit. But now he felt truly rested. His mind for the first time in years was clear. He could no longer feel Voldemort's presence. He had put the weight on that he had lost, his face had filled out, he had developed a deep, golden tan and his hair had grown light in the sun. Yeah, life was good.
Sirius slowed the bike as he approached the graveyard. He kicked down the kickstand and shut off the engine. He looked up at the beautiful oak trees surrounding it and found a sad smile. Regulus would have loved to have visited it, if he were alive. The sad thing was, he had visited, and he would never leave. He was a permanent resident. But at least he was at peace. Sirius sighed, not wanting to take the helmet off. He seemed to give him a degree of privacy, as if he could shut himself off to the world for a moment longer. He leant forward and lay his head against the handlebars of his Triumph Thunderbird 900. It was a little different from his old bike, the Triumph TR65 Thunderbird, but it was far more suited to his needs. The TR65 would become uncomfortable over long distances and, considering what he had bought the bike for, travelling through Europe, something that was comfortable long distance was a requirement. He had loved his old bike. He had spent so much time working on it in the shed at the bottom of the garden, that it was like he had become one with it. After everything he had been through with his parents, it was therapeutic. He smiled as he thought back. James would stand there talking about Lily, and how she was his greatest love, with a mug of tea, or a beer, depending on the time of day. James would always hand him the wrong spanner, so lost in his own thoughts. Mum would come in and frown, rearranging the oil stained rags, before hurrying into the house, only to return with a steaming bowl of food. Then there was dad. His smile grew. Dad would sit next to him as they both figured out how to fix the bike and what modifications they could add, all the while exchanging sideways glances as they mentally added that they wouldn't mention it to Euphemia.
"You okay, old girl?" Sirius said, patting the bike's fuel tank. Slowly, over time, he had begun to bond with the bike. James always thought it was crazy, bonding with a piece of metal. But he had always tried to explain, it was as mad as bonding with a bloody broom. Not that James ever took any notice. He sighed and looked up. At some point he needed to do something. He couldn't just sit there, astride his bike, for the rest of his life. What was he so scared of? He was only visiting a grave. Regulus was dead. He couldn't judge or scream at him. He closed his eyes for a moment, tears threatening as he thought back to the cave. How he, James and some Aurors had gone there to free the Inferi. In reality, freeing them would be killing them, but at least they would be at peace. He had stood back, allowing others to perform the spell. He hadn't trusted himself to perform Incendio without dire consequences. When the fire had died down, he found himself dropping to his knees from grief when he saw his brother's broken, mutilated body. He had held him against his chest, not caring who watched him, as tears streamed down his face. He vaguely remembered James wrapping a blanket around Regulus and helping him up, guiding him towards a boat. He didn't remember the journey back, or what he had instructed Kingsley. He was later told that they had removed all the bodies, and both the Magical and Muggle governments had been informed. He hoped it would give the various friends and family members closure. Which was why he was now here, too scared to enter the Potter graveyard. The Potter's had insisted that Regulus could be buried in their graveyard. That he was family. To this day, he still didn't know how he had made it through the funeral. A mix of grief and guilt had made him almost catatonic. He stood there, tears streaming down his face. Numb. Oblivious to everything going on around him. He watched James and his father lower Regulus' coffin into the ground. He had leant against James, his head buried into his chest as they covered the coffin. If he had done more, if he had just spoken to Regulus, then maybe he would still be alive.
Sirius sighed and pulled off his helmet, raking his hands through his untamed hair. He swung his leg over the bike, stopping for a moment before bending down and carefully pulling a delicate rose out from one side pannier. It was a Bukavu rose. He didn't know much about flowers, but the lady at the shop had suggested it was good. A beautiful, delicate flower, but the plant itself was as hard as hell, resistant to diseases, cold and heat. And that, to him, described his brother. This small, fragile, almost delicate figure, but under all of this was a warrior. It was too sad the true world never saw that. It was sad, he thought, wiping a tear from his eye, that he never saw that.
Sirius slowly walked through the graveyard, his head bowed out of respect. He stopped as he found the right one, not set aside from the others, but right next to the other Potter ancestors. He dropped his hand, his fingertips brushing against the rough stone.
"Hi Reg," he started in a shaky voice. He rubbed his face and bent down. "Err, I." He stopped and dropped to his knees. Tears pricked his eyes. He didn't bother to wipe them away. "Reg, I'm so sorry. If I had, I don't know. If I had just reached out, then maybe you could have told me you wanted to escape. We could have come up with a plan together, but… I-I don't Reg. I was so self-absorbed, I probably wouldn't have listened. You were only eighteen, but you were probably far more mature than I was. I'm sorry I abandoned you when I was sixteen. I had to. But why didn't I try and talk to you when I was still at school?" He stopped again. Tears now unashamedly streamed down his face. He looked at the rose and started to dig a hole with his bare hands. The coarseness of the soil biting into his fingertips was a welcome distraction. He carefully unpotted the rose and gently placed it into the hole, covering it.
"So, umm. I bought this in France. The lady running the shop said it would be perfect. You know me, I always kill plants. She said this one was really tough. It looks beautiful and delicate but it's not just that, it's really tough. Not that I'm saying you were delicate. Oh, I don't know. You were just this really gentle person that our parents corrupted. Maybe if I had just been there for you more, you may have made a different decision. I should have been there for you. I could blame it on our parents, and how everything got all fucked up between us, but I can't. Maybe when I was a child, but not when I was an adult. I should have reached out to you."
He stopped again and rested his hand against the gravestone. He took a breath and looked around him, trying to find a smile. "I'm sorry, Reg. Here am I, just ranting away and that's not fair on you. You would have loved this place. Can you remember Richmond Park? When we sneaked away from our parents to feed the deer, and you got chased by one? We had to climb up that tree to escape it!" He stopped and looked up again. At the sun. At the beautiful cloudless blue sky. "I know our family's graveyard used to scare you. It was so dark. All those dark, twisted fir trees. This is nothing like it. It's open and full of light. There are oak trees, and a few elms. You are surrounded by the Potters. I know you were taught they were bad people and blood traitors, but they aren't. They are keeping the space next to you free so, when I die, we can be together again. Like old times. And we can try and forget what happened between us."
Sirius stopped and lay his head against his outstretched arm, his hand still resting on the gravestone, as though he could be connected to his brother. He screwed his eyes tightly as more tears threatened. "Well Reg, I better get going, but I promise I'll come back and visit you. I promise."
With a heavy heart, Sirius slowly stood, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I hope you are at peace now Reg." He sighed, and without a further word, walked slowly out of the graveyard. He paused for a moment before swinging his leg over and sitting astride his bike. He knew he couldn't ride for a moment. His emotions were too raw, and it wasn't the best of roads to drive. He sat there in silence, letting his slight, haggard breathing slow and his shoulders drop. Nodding his head and finding a small smile, a sense of peace came over him. He wiped his eyes, put his helmet on and fired up the bike, heading towards his real family home.
It was only a short ride from the graveyard to the Potter cottage, but it gave him enough time to collect his thoughts. The village looked the same. The same people wandering down the streets without a care in the world. Behind the helmet he went unnoticed, something he was thankful for. He had spent the whole six weeks through various countries in Europe going completely unnoticed. He wondered if the fuss had died down. Before he had left on his holiday, it had been insane. He had barely been able to move without someone stopping to thank him, or talk to him, when all he wanted to do was have time to himself.
He found himself grinning as he pulled up outside his parents' house. Finally, he was home. He had loved his travels, but he was glad to be home.
"Sirius?"
His grin broadened as he watched his mum walk down the path. Soil stained knees. Muddy gloves. "Hi mum," he said, as he pulled his helmet off.
"Welcome home, my darling," Euphemia said, smiling, as she pulled her gloves off and held out her hands.
"Thanks mum," Sirius replied, accepting the hug.
Euphemia stood back and looked her son up and down, her smile broadening as she noted his now healthy form. "How was the trip?"
"Fantastic."
"And you're not going to ride that thing again."
"Mum, it's no more dangerous than a broom."
Euphemia raised an eyebrow. "Sirius."
"Mum, I'm careful," Sirius replied, as he turned and pulled out a beautiful pink and purple fuchsia. "I brought you a present."
"Oh Sirius, you didn't have to."
"I know, but I did. It's a Euphemia," Sirius replied, smiling softly.
"It's beautiful," Euphemia replied, kissing his cheek. "Just because you brought me this, it still doesn't mean I like that bike of yours."
"I know mum," Sirius said. Taking the canvas bag off the back of his bike, he slung it over his shoulder, following her into the house. "How's your summer been?"
"It's been, well, different. Different in a good way. I never expected this war to be over and then to be able to spend it with one of my sons as well. It made it magical."
"Mum," Sirius started.
"No Sirius," Euphemia said sharply. "You. You, out of anyone in our world, needed a break. As much as I would have loved to spend the time with you, you would have never had a break here. Too many people would have wanted to see you, bother you. No, you would never have had a chance to relax."
Sirius smiled as he followed his mum into the only place that he had ever called home. "Where's dad and James?"
"Your dad should be around, and James is probably playing Quidditch. I swear he thinks he's sixteen again. Do you want anything to eat?"
"No, I'm fine."
"Lunch is in an hour, but if you want anything before."
"No mum, really I'm fine."
"And you've been sleeping, okay?"
"Yes mum." Sirius looked around, hoping for a sign of rescue.
"And you haven't been doing anything dangerous, other than riding that bike of yours?"
"No mum," Sirius replied, shaking his head. "I was sightseeing. Walking in the mountains. Swimming in the sea. I promise you mum, I wasn't doing anything dangerous. James was probably doing more risky things than I was."
"Sirius! I didn't expect to see you back today!"
Sirius stood and found himself grinning, as his dad walked into the room. "I wasn't sure if it was going to be today or tomorrow. But the weather looked good in the UK, and it was going to be raining in Italy, so here I am."
"Good to see you, my lad!" Fleamont said, as he walked in and hugged his son. "Good trip to Europe?"
"Brilliant," Sirius replied, grinning. "But it's great to be home."
Ooo
James and Sirius walked alongside each other through the woods, Lancelot leaping in front of them.
"So, how are you?"
"I'm good," Sirius replied with a smile.
James nodded. For the first time in he didn't know how many years he believed his friend. "Are you sure?" he pushed.
"James, I promise you, I really am," Sirius said, as he laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I know I said I was fine all last year, and the years before, and I know you knew I was lying. I think I sometimes believed it myself, but really, I was nowhere near my best. I never had a chance to recover properly from what happened when I left my parents. Then we were at war. Then I was captured. I escaped, and we were back at war. I never allowed myself to stop."
James looked at his friend sadly for a moment, as he took a moment to process what Sirius had just told him. It wasn't as if he wasn't aware of it, it was just listening to Sirius admit it. "But you are okay now?"
"Yeah. James, I promise you I am."
"Good to hear," James replied, grinning, patting his friend on the shoulder. "So, do you want an update of what is happening in the wizarding world?"
"Wizarding world, or your world?"
"They are the same thing, aren't they?" James laughed.
"You are such a prat!"
"You wound me greatly Padfoot," James said, as he staggered backwards and mockingly held his hand over his heart.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "You know, just because I was in Europe, it doesn't mean I was completely out of touch. I couldn't be, could I? Especially when you wrote to me every day!"
"So…?"
"What?"
"You know. You and Ellie?"
"James, it's-"
"Don't tell me it's nothing. I know you spent a week together in Italy."
"Mate, I've only known her since-"
"Yes, I know, since you were eleven."
"Not really mate. She was in Ravenclaw."
"Okay, but come on, mate. You have to give me something," James urged, grinning.
Sirius stopped and looked down for a moment, before returning a small smile. "I don't know James, it's different than before. When I was younger, I wasn't like you. I didn't want to settle down like you. I played the field, had a few good shags but now…. I don't know, it's different. I never thought I would see the war through, but now I have." He paused and took a breath. "I know I don't need some great master plan. I don't have one and I'm okay with that."
"Take it as it comes, mate. You are both adults. Anyway, are you taking her as your plus one? Because if you do, there will be many broken hearts. Lockhart is beside himself - you've taken his status as the most eligible bachelor."
"What, because of my good looks, or that I actually did the stuff that's reported?"
"Pretty much," James laughed, slapping his friend's back. "Anyway, quit avoiding the question. Are you bringing her as your plus one?"
"Yeah," Sirius replied shyly.
"Excellent!" James replied, grinning. "By the way, who's side are you sitting on?"
"I had to think about it for a bit, but I'll be on Remus' side. Tonks is family and everything, but she will have family there for her. Plus, as her boss, it could be a little awkward. And, it's Moony. Of course, we have to be there for him. You know how nervous he will be."
"Nothing a bit of Firewhisky can't help," James replied, with a wild grin and raised eyebrows.
"Mate, we can't get him completely shitfaced before his wedding."
"Okay, we won't. But don't be too boring, Padfoot."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm not, but I am also aware I'm not sixteen anymore."
"Yeah, I know. But I am sure we can have a bit of fun in those VP meetings," James replied, raising his eyebrows.
"Really? With your old boss as the Minister?"
"Well…"
"Ooo, is Prongs all chicken shit scared now?"
"Piss off, Padfoot. I'm not scared, just. Well, I'm just respectful."
"Do you think any of our professors would have ever thought we would both become head of departments?"
"No," James replied, shaking his head. "Maybe both end up in Azkaban."
"What do you think will happen in Fudge's trial? It starts tomorrow, doesn't it?"
James stopped and leant against a tree, as he thought for a moment. "I think he won't get convicted on those War Crime charges but will be convicted on money laundering charges."
"I agree, too. It's a pity there aren't any charges for being a completely incompetent buffoon."
"That, my friend, he would be found 100% guilty of. I told you we've made a lot of progress with our werewolf policies. They don't need to register if they don't want to and wolfsbane is now free."
"I know, it's brilliant, mate. And I'm glad Moony didn't have to front the campaign."
"Yeah, I didn't want him to just be known as a werewolf. He's more than that."
"He is," Sirius agreed.
"Oh, did I tell you? Puddlemere United are interested in Harry when he leaves Hogwarts!"
"No, but that's brilliant, mate! What does Lily think?"
"She's, well she's happy for him but she doesn't want him to get distracted, especially as it's NEWTs year."
"Fair enough."
"Oh, and mate. You have to promise you won't say anything to anyone with what I am about to tell you. I'm not even supposed to tell you."
"Sure, mate," Sirius replied, looking at his friend questioningly.
"Lily is pregnant."
"That's amazing, Prongs! Congratulations!" Sirius replied, hugging his best mate.
"Thanks, Padfoot. It's early days but I can't quite believe it. I'm thinking about asking Moony to be the godfather. You're not offended, are you?"
"Offended? Why would I? I'm Harry's godfather. Godfather of a soon to be international Quidditch star! That's brilliant, James, I'm so happy for you."
"Yeah," James replied, unable to remove the grin from his face. "But remember, not a word."
"Not a word. Anyway, shall we head to the pub for a quick one before heading back to our parents for food?"
"Sounds like a plan," James said, as he slapped Sirius on the back as they headed out of the woods and back to the village. "Oh, and I forgot to mention it, you're famous," he laughed, as he threw something at his friend.
Sirius caught it. "Why have you given me a chocolate frog?" he asked, frowning.
"Open it, you idiot."
Sirius slowly opened the cardboard box and sighed. "Really? They put me on a chocolate frog card?!" he said, rolling his eyes.
"Yeah!" James replied, grinning as he snatched the card off him. "Sirius Black, head of the Black family and member of the Sacred 28. Considered by many as the saviour of the wizarding world. Famous for bringing an end to both Wizarding wars. He finally defeated Lord Voldemort in June 1998. Sirius also enjoys restoring muggle Motorbikes and walking his dog in the countryside."
"Who writes that crap!"
"I dunno mate, but it's hilarious," James laughed, almost doubled over from laughter.
"You are such a dick!"
"You love me really!"
"No, I don't. You are impossible."
"Come on Padfoot, let's head to the pub. Maybe I can trade your card for something valuable."
Sirius rolled his eyes again but smiled, as laughter bubbled up from deep in his belly.
"Lancelot!" Sirius called out, smiling as his dog came bounding to him. He felt his shoulders relax and his grin broaden. He couldn't remember a time when he felt as happy and as relaxed as he did now. He felt truly content with his life. After thirty seven years he had finally found his place in the world. He knew there would be challenges that lay in the future, but they didn't scare him, he welcomed them. But they weren't here to challenge him now. Right now, it was just about him, his friends, his family and a beautiful summer's evening. His friend's wedding was in a couple of days. It was the beginning of a new and exciting relationship. Yes, life was truly good.
The End