A/N: This happens after Chp 19 of Shouldn't Feel like A Crime
Have you seen a cat that looks at you with deeply slanted eyes and a mouth so downturned like it's sick of you, or just perpetually judging you?
Zack has the same exact look as he sits on the sofa with arms crossed against his chest, unable to meet Cloud's watchful eyes.
He looks less like someone who's judging others and more like a chastened kid.
Red bruises and partially cleaned bleeding cuts marked him everywhere but they're particularly obvious on his face.
Cloud smiles. "You look stupid."
Zack's pout dips lower. "Shut up…"
Cloud hovers closer before gently holding Zack by his jaw and moving his head from side to side, inspecting the other man's wounds more carefully.
"She did a number on you."
Zack says nothing in return, probably ashamed that he was awfully beaten by someone who's two times smaller than his size.
"Where's your first aid kit?"
Zack points to a glass cabinet with three storage drawers. A small figurine collection of old school video game characters line the shelves. "It's in the top drawer."
Cloud retrieves a green grab bag from the said drawer, then hauls one of the dining chairs and places it in front of the sofa where Zack is.
He settles down and starts preparing the things he needs to clean up Zack's wounds: a small tray of saline solution and 4 by 4 gauze pads.
He soaks one of the gauze pads into the solution, then squeezes it just enough to not let it drip or dry. When he dabs it onto the cut at Zack's upper lip, the other man winces.
"Why didn't you clean your injuries properly? They'll get infected if you don't clean them," he mumbles, a quiet scolding that he always does whenever he's trying to avoid making Zack feel on edge.
"…don't know how."
Cloud can't help but smile.
Zack knows how to take care of himself if he gets hurt. The man has got himself into countless physical fights long before Cloud came into his life. This is a known fact, not just to Cloud but also to those who're close to the man.
Zack just likes to be coddled.
But to be entirely honest, Zack expecting him to be around after what transpired this morning actually makes him quite happy.
Right. This morning. That's something they need to talk about.
"Tifa had been through much worse than what you did to her," he says, moving to pat a new wet gauze pad onto the cut at Zack's left eyebrow. "If you want to know how I got so used to cleaning up these gashes and bruises… it's because I was the one who helped fix her up then."
Memories of him patching up Tifa after she's brutally beaten by her dad flash through his mind. They still haunt him, even if it has been years since Tifa cut her dad off and he never has to deal with those terrifying nights of seeing Tifa bleeding at his door again.
What happened this morning brought emotions that he never wanted to relive again.
"She… probably doesn't know that she can die from some blows. Physical pain's almost nothing to her now," he mutters, his hand slowing down as he dabs other smaller cuts he notices on Zack's face. "You could have killed her, you know."
His hands start trembling and he hastens to back away.
"I really care for her, Zack. She means so much to me, just like how Aerith is to you. That's why… I can't forgive you this time."
He glances at Zack and finds that the other man's finally looking at him.
There's a kind of despair reflected in Zack's grey blue eyes.
Like he knows that tonight's going to bring something entirely different than anything that has separated them before.
"Do you… love me, Zack?"
A deafening silence follows as his question hangs in the air like passing grey clouds on an otherwise sunny day.
Will they bring rain? Or will they not? Will his question be answered? Or will it not be answered?
"And you? Do you love me?"
Zack clearly doesn't want to give an answer.
Cloud sighs. "I'm the one asking questions, Zack."
When it seems like the other man's not going to talk again anytime soon, he decides that it's time to stop trying.
He rises from his seat and about to step away… only to be stopped by Zack who has his hips enclosed in the other man's strong arms.
"I do. I love you. I really do love you," he hears Zack tell him, almost pleading.
He has waited for so long to hear those words.
But somehow, hearing them now still leaves him feeling… empty.
Cloud looks down to see that Zack's face is buried against his stomach.
He runs one hand into the other man's silky raven black hair, then leans down to give him a kiss on his head.
"But you don't love me enough to let her go."
Zack's head snaps up, revealing to him a pair of glassy eyes and a slightly open mouth.
He can read fear in those eyes.
The same fear that he saw when Zack was agonizing about his suspicions towards whatever's up between their girlfriends.
The fear of people walking out on him – leaving him behind all alone.
With his hands cupping Zack's face, he can do nothing but apologize, "I'm sorry… but what we have isn't going to work, Zack."
As long as she comes between us, he wants to add but leaves out.
He doesn't need to say it for Zack to understand.
Zack's grip around his hips tighten but the other man stays frozen like there's not a single speck of energy left in him to fight and protest.
"Let me… finish cleaning you up," Cloud says, trying his best to keep smiling.
The arms around his hips loosen and he quickly returns to what he needs to do.
At least, there's still something that he can patch, if all else can't be patched.
A/N: I was listening to FF7R's Hollow Skies the entire time I wrote this... Idc what others say, that's a Clack/Zakkura song. I will not have it any other way!