Black Widow

Chapter 9

Trifa awoke with a start, expecting to see a sky full of smoke and fire. She was stunned when she got a white tiled ceiling instead. The smell of antiseptic suddenly filled her nose, and she quickly looked around, and wasn't surprised when she saw she was in a hospital. A faint beeping filled her ears, and she realized she was hooked up to an ECG and an IV drip.

So they hadn't left her to die or killed her. A quick test showed that she hadn't been bound at all, either. Then again, she was still injured enough that she knew she wouldn't get very far even if she tried to leave her hospital bed, so it wasn't even worth the effort to try.
Memories suddenly came flooding back – of the attack on Beacon, and her showdown with Adam. A smile crossed her face when she remembered what had happened – Jaune had struck him down, with Pyrrha's help.

Jaune…

At the thought of him, Trifa's smile faded. She had risked everything to save him, and had almost ended up dead in the process, but she didn't expect that would make up for what she had done. Her heart sank when she realized that her plan was unchanged.

She may have saved Jaune and helped stop Adam once and for all, but that still wasn't enough to balance out everything she'd done in service to the White Fang. There still needed to be some kind of retribution for her, and the only way to get that was for her to turn herself in.

The door to her hospital room suddenly opened, and Jaune stepped in. He froze when he saw her, and Trifa shrank back, but he didn't stop – rather, he stepped inside, each step careful and measured.

"It's alright," he assured her. She noticed he was carrying a bouquet of flowers in his hand. "I just wanted to see you. I didn't think you'd be awake."

"Why?" Trifa said.

"Well, the doctors said that with your injuries, you'd be out for at least a few-"

"Why did you want to see me?" Trifa amended. "You know what I am – what I've done. You know I've killed people. You know I'm a former White Fang assassin. You should hate me, and yet… you're still here."

"Because I don't hate you," Jaune assured her. He stepped closer, and Trifa drew as far back as she could, pressing her back against the headboard of her bed.

Jaune didn't stop, however – he kept coming, each step causing her heartbeat to spike a little bit more than the last. Finally, he was at her bedside, and she was staring up at him, half-expecting him to draw his sword and plunge it into her chest. After what she'd done, she wouldn't even blame him for it, but that wasn't what he did.

Instead, Jaune set the bouquet of flowers down on the table next to her bedside, then leaned down and pulled her into a big hug.
Trifa paused, stunned beyond belief, and then tears filled her eyes.

"Why…?" she managed to choke out. "You should hate me. After everything I've done… you shouldn't be here."

"I just told you I don't hate you," Jaune assured her. "I could never hate you, Trifa. Not after everything we've been through."

"But… I murdered people," she pointed out. "I helped with the attack on Beacon. I almost murdered you, Jaune – hell, I wanted to murder you, until… until I realized how wrong I was." Tears began to spill down her cheeks, and sobs wracked her body. "Damn it, Jaune, I love you."

"I know."

"And I know that you can't love me back, because of what I've done."

Jaune paused, but then tightened his hug, catching her by surprise. Her breath caught in her throat at the sudden pressure.

"...You're right," Jaune admitted. "I can't love you right now, but not for the reasons you think. Trifa, I don't hate you for what you've done – not at all. But… I don't know the real you just yet. I don't know how much of what we had was true or not. I can't love you because of that."

Trifa was stunned. She sniffled, searching for the right words, before finally settling on some she felt were appropriate.

"...More of it was true than you might think," she admitted. "I mean… at first, yes, I was faking it – my mission was to seduce you, interrogate you for information, then kill you. When we first met… I planned to murder you. But then, something changed. Somewhere along the way, I stopped faking it."

"When was that?"

"I can't remember exactly," she admitted. "Truthfully… I guess I always thought you were cute, but I can't remember when my fake feelings turned genuine for the first time. It's all kind of… blended together, these past couple weeks. All I know is that whatever I felt towards you at first, that's gone now. I said I love you, Jaune, and that's true. Do you know why? Because you saved me – from the White Fang, sure, but also from myself. You made me realize exactly what I was doing, and just how badly I needed to stop."

"I didn't-"

"You did," Trifa insisted. "Without you… without you, I would've been cutting down Beacon students right alongside Adam. You saved me more than you'll ever know."

Jaune fell silent. For a few seconds, the only noises in the room were Trifa's sobs and sniffled and the steady beeping of her ECG machine. Finally, Jaune broke the silence.

"What are you going to do now, Trifa?"

"What I planned to do," she assured him. "I'm… I'm going to turn myself in, Jaune. It's the only thing I can do – I can't stay free, not after everything I've done and not when the White Fang are still hunting me down. And… I also need some kind of punishment for my sins."

"They'll give you life," Jaune said, taken aback. "Trifa… you're condemning yourself to life in prison."

"I know," she told him. "And I don't care. If that's what it takes to make things right, then so be it."

Jaune finally broke the hug, pulling far enough away that he could stare at her. Slowly, he nodded. "...If that's what you think is best," he said softly. "I won't try and talk you out of it, Trifa."

"I'm sorry, Jaune," she said, her eyes filling with tears once more. "Sorry it has to end like this, I mean."

"What do you mean? This isn't the end."

Trifa gave him a surprised look. "What are you talking about? They're going to send me to prison, Jaune. You know that."

"I'll visit," he insisted. "They'll allow that much, I know. I don't know how often I'll be able to make the trip, but you have my word that whenever I can, I will."

Trifa's shoulders began to heave with silent sobs. "Why…? Even after everything I've done…"

"Because I know you," Jaune said. "I know enough about you to realize how dedicated you are to this. You want to be a better person, and I'm not going to leave you to do it on your own. And… between you and me… I want to get to know the real you better. Whether that's in a relationship or not, I don't care."

"I said I loved you…"

"I know," Jaune replied. "And… I don't know if I feel the same way, if only because of what you kept from me. I can't reciprocate your feelings… at least, not yet. But I'm willing to try."

Trifa shook her head. "Jaune, this… this is madness. You want to keep it going, even though I'll be locked up and won't ever get out?"

"Never say never," Jaune said softly. He leaned in and rested a hand on her shoulder. "The future can still change, Trifa. You're living proof of that. And I'm willing to help you however I can."

Slowly, Trifa reached for his hand, and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "...Thank you," she managed to choke out.

There was a knock at the door, and Pyrrha came in. She paused when she saw Trifa holding onto Jaune's hand. "I figured I'd find you here, Jaune," she said. To Trifa's amazement, there wasn't a hint of malice in her voice.

"What is it?" Jaune asked.

"The General wants to speak with all of us."

Jaune's gaze hardened. "Tell him it can wait," he said.

"Jaune-"

"We're not going anywhere any time soon, not while Yang and Blake are still out of commission. Whatever it is, it can wait."

Slowly, Pyrrha nodded. "I'll let him know we're not ready yet." Her gaze slid over to Trifa. "You're awake."

"I am," Trifa said tentatively. "Thank you for-"

Pyrrha stopped her by holding up her hand. "Don't," she said. "I jumped in because it was the right thing to do. You don't owe me thanks, especially not after what you did for Jaune."

"He told you?" Trifa asked.

"You've been out for several days," Pyrrha informed her, taking her by surprise. "We've had a lot of time to discuss amongst ourselves. And, truthfully, there's still some pieces missing I think you'll need to fill in before we have the full picture."

Trifa looked over to Jaune, who gave her a nod of encouragement. She turned her attention back towards Pyrrha, then nodded.

"...I'm ready whenever you all are," she said.

About thirty minutes later, the room was full of most of Jaune's friends. It had taken some time to gather them from around the hospital, where they'd all been helping out. The only ones missing were Blake and Yang, who were still recovering in their own rooms, and a girl named Penny, who Jaune had told her had been injured fighting against someone at the top of Beacon's tower. Trifa stared out among the crowd surrounding her hospital bed, and swallowed nervously.

No turning back now.

"...Where should I start?" she asked, her voice small.

"How about at the beginning?" Ruby said gently. "Who are you, anyway? What brought you into the White Fang?"

"...My name really is Trifa, if that's what you're asking," she ventured. "I grew up in a small settlement out in the woods of Vale. It was SDC-owned and operated; most of us were Faunus, and we worked in a mine there, gathering Dust. Naturally, we weren't treated well, but I won't get into specifics. All you need to know about my formative years is that my experiences there led me to distrust humanity, and that distrust only worsened into hate when I was a young teenager and the Grimm attacked."

Her gaze hardened as the memories came pushing to the forefront of her mind. "The human workers and guards saved themselves, of course, but they didn't all get away. The one I hated most – the foreman – was left behind, stuck under some rubble when a building collapsed. I found him there as I was running, still alive, and… well, let's just say that day was eventful for two reasons – the first was that I lost my parents. The second was that I killed my first person that day."
Trifa hung her head in shame. "As for the rest of the story… everyone from my settlement who lived was split up. I wandered the forest by myself for awhile, until I stumbled upon a small campsite of Faunus. I was alone, and tired, and hungry, and they were all too willing to help. I didn't even think to ask about the masks and weapons until after I'd eaten my fill of their food, and when the question finally came around, I was all too willing to join them. So they took me in, and from there, I just… spiraled."

"So that's how it happened?" Weiss asked.

Trifa nodded. "A series of mistakes until I was in too deep, yes. Before I knew it, I was a recruit. Then I was a veteran. Then I was an assassin. It's easy, when you're surrounded by people constantly reinforcing your own biases, to lose sight of the fact that the world isn't quite so black-and-white. All the White Fang did was teach me to hate, and I lapped it up so eagerly. By the time I met Jaune, there was nothing I wouldn't have done to help advance the cause."

"You said you were an assassin?" Nora asked, uncomfortable. "How many…"

"Too many," Trifa lamented. "But if you want an actual number… I don't know. Genuinely, I have no idea. It has to be somewhere around thirty, though."

Silence reigned as they all considered what she'd said. Finally, Weiss stepped forward.

"Why are you telling us this?" she questioned. "I mean… you realize that now that we know-"

"You can't let me go," Trifa finished with a nod. "Yes, I'm aware."

"Then why?"

"Because I don't intend to try and run."

"What are you saying?" Pyrrha said.

"Exactly what it sounds like." Trifa sighed. "I've made mistakes in my life – so many of of them, for so long… I'm tired of it all. I'm tired of the killing, and the guilt. I'm tired of the person I've become. And as much as I'd love a fresh start, I know it's not in the cards for someone like me."

"That's not true," Ruby insisted. "Ozpin can-"

"Ozpin is dead," Ren reminded her, causing her to fall silent.

"Then… maybe Goodwitch, or Ironwood?"

"Professor Goodwitch is in no position to be offering clemency to a former White Fang member after they destroyed her school, and General Ironwood is much the same," Weiss answered. She crossed her arms. "But you already knew that, didn't you, Trifa?"

"I did," Trifa confirmed with a nod.

"So, what happens, then?"

"I'm turning myself in," Trifa announced bluntly. She saw everyone's eyes widen in surprise, but was not taken aback. "Come now, you didn't really expect me to say something else, did you? I know what I did – I know now that it was wrong. And I also know that there needs to be some kind of punishment for it all."

"Perhaps a deal?" Ren offered. "You could offer information on the White Fang in exchange for a reduced sentence."

"All that would do is bring my sentence down from the death penalty to life in prison," Trifa pointed out. "I've already thought of that, too. Fact is, they can't afford to give me anything less than life, with all the people I've killed. Unless something happens and the rest of the world no longer cares about my crimes, I'll be in prison for the rest of my life."

"And you're okay with that?" Pyrrha asked.

Trifa nodded. "If that's what it takes to make things right, then so be it. I just… I can't go on like this, festering in my own mistakes and guilt, and knowing that I've gone unpunished for it all for so long. There was no excuse for what I did – it was murder, plain and simple. And like any other murderer, I deserve to be punished for it."

The others exchanged glances with each other before looking back over to Jaune. "What do you think, Jaune?" Weiss asked. "She's your girlfriend."

"Truthfully, we don't know what we are to each other right now," Jaune admitted. "It's not over, though – we're both willing to try, or at least we're not willing to abandon each other just yet. But for now… it's up in the air, I suppose. As for my opinion… Trifa will do what she thinks is best. Much as I'd like to talk her out of this, I know she won't be swayed."

There was a knock at the door. Everyone turned towards it in surprise, and were stunned when the General himself walked in.

"I was looking for all of you," he said. "We still need to debrief you, and unfortunately, it's not the kind of thing that can wait." His gaze fell on Trifa. "Who's this?"

"This is a friend of ours," Pyrrha informed him. "She helped fight Adam Taurus."

"Hm. She's an ally, then?"

"Of sorts," Trifa said. She sat up straight in her hospital bed, groaning in discomfort as she did so. Jaune reached out to help support her, and she gave him a grateful look before turning back to Ironwood. "You're just the man I need to talk to, by the way."

"About what?" General Ironwood asked.

"Well, it's simple, really," Trifa began, before anyone could stop her.

"I'd like to confess to thirty counts of murder."

Ten years later…

"Trifa?"

Trifa sat up in her jail cell, rubbing at her eyes as she yawned. A chill went through her; the winters had only gotten colder since the war had started, and with the Dust rationing that had been going on, the only thing she had to keep her warm was a wool blanket and her prison jumpsuit.

She finished rubbing the sleep from her eyes, then looked over to the guard. "Marcus," she greeted. "What's the occasion? Why are you getting me up so early?"
Marcus didn't say anything at first. Instead, to her amazement, he brought out a set of keys and opened her cell door, then stepped back. Her eyes widened in surprise.

"...What is this?"

"You've been paroled," he said simply.

Somehow, her eyes got even wider. "Wha- paroled? Me? They realize what I'm in for, right?"

Marcus rolled his eyes. "You coming or what?"

Tentatively, Trifa stood up and began to follow after him. All around her, her fellow prisoners – what few were left – eyed her with contempt, which only made her walk with her head held a bit higher, even if she doubted what Marcus had told her.

Ever since the start of the war, most of the prisons had steadily been emptied. It was a combination of no longer having the manpower or willpower to keep them staffed, and also people caring a lot less about petty crimes than they had pre-Salem.

Of course, neither of those should have affected her – she was a mass murderer. They'd warned her during her confession that she'd be in for life if she went that route, and yet here she was, being paroled? It made no sense to her.

Marcus led her out to the front of the prison, out to the office. Trifa walked as if in a daze – none of this made any sense to her; she had trouble even believing it was real. Even when they were processing her paperwork, it still didn't feel real.

It didn't sink in until she was standing outside the prison gates, the door closing shut behind her, that it finally sank in. She stood there, in the ankle-deep snow, dressed in her old civilian clothes from years ago, not even bothering to shield herself from the cold, as she tried to search her brain for an answer.

She got one in the form of a cloaked figure approaching through the snow. At first, all she saw was an outline, but as the figure drew closer, she knew immediately who it was.

The sword on his hip gave it away.

Trifa stood there, shocked, as Jaune approached, a grin on his face. He raised a hand in greeting. "Hey," was all he said.

"Hey, yourself," she retorted. "Am I to assume that you had something to do with this?"

He chuckled, then brought a hand up to rub at his scruff. He looked good with a little facial hair, Trifa thought – then again, Jaune could have made anything look good to her.

Ten years, and they still weren't sure where the two of them stood in terms of a relationship. But that was fine – she knew her feelings for him were true, and she also knew that he'd been busy fighting Salem that entire time. He'd visited when he could, but over the past few years, his visits had steadily tapered off, though that'd come with an assurance that he wasn't going to abandon her, he just had to focus on something else for a time.

"You'd be correct," Jaune said, interrupting her thoughts. "Truthfully, it wasn't very hard – the world's gone to shit, Trifa. I mean, that was true even before we beat Salem and the Gods left once and for all, but now…? Now, nobody's got the willpower to say no when my friends or I come asking for something."

"So you asked for them to free me?" Trifa questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"I merely suggested that I needed someone I could trust to help me rebuild everything Salem broke on her way out," Jaune said, never once losing that jovial look on his face. "Of course, if you'd like, I can probably talk them into sending you back in."

He'd meant it as a joke, but Trifa couldn't help but wonder if that was truly the right thing. It must have showed on her face, because Jaune stepped forward and rested a hand on her shoulder. She shivered at his sudden touch, then turned to look him in the eye.

"You've suffered enough," Jaune gently chastised. "Besides, you're no good to anyone locked up in there. You want to repay what you've done? Help us rebuild."

"You really think I can…?" Trifa asked, uncertain.

Jaune flashed her a grin. "There's nobody I'd want by my side more than you, Trifa."

He offered her a hand, and after staring at it with hesitation for a moment, Trifa accepted.

Together, the two of them walked hand-in-hand through the snow, towards a future that was as uncertain as it was promising.

Eugh. Not entirely happy with how this fic went at all, but that's probably because I wrote this fucking thing months ago and mostly tried rewriting/cleaning it up these past few weeks/months. There are only so many ways you can polish up a turd, after all…

In all seriousness, I don't think this fic is terrible or anything, but I definitely could have done better with it if I'd been more experienced when I wrote it. Between this and MIA, I definitely prefer MIA. This fic isn't bad, in fact there are parts of it I actually really like, but overall… yeah, not my best work.

Still, for as scuffed as it ended up being, I don't really regret writing this one. I mean, we all have to start somewhere, right? This fic was my first foray into serious romance, and it definitely helped pave the way for some of my Knightfall fics, so I can't exactly hate it, you know? Yeah, it's rough around the edges, I'll admit that, but damn it, it's my fic, and I did enjoy working with it even if I wasn't quite skilled enough to truly let it shine.

In any case, that's another one down, I suppose. I'm gonna try to finish MIA up this week as well and then maybe update Black Sun this weekend, and after that… I don't know. Might take a break and just work on PP, Black Sun, and my original story for a bit before diving into another fanfic. I've certainly got some ideas, but those three are keeping me busy for now, and I really need to study harder than I already am.

Anyway, thanks to all of you who have read and reviewed, your support means a lot to me. I hope you enjoyed the story, and I hope you'll check out some of my other writing, too. See you all next time!