Chapter 42

"And?" Rory asked, expectantly, standing up from her desk and walking over to the window, the nervousness in her gut needing her to do something other than sit still. It was already dark outside, and while she could hear a low thumping of a party in the building across the courtyard, the surroundings were calm.

"And… I haven't been disowned yet," Logan replied, with withheld celebratory in his tone.

"What did they say?" she asked cautiously.

"This and that," Logan sighed, sounding like he didn't feel like elaborating.

"Oh," Rory reacted, assuming the worst. Rory wanted to know the details, but how would she get him to tell her. How bad was it?

"But I meant it - I don't care abotu what they think…," Logan began to formulate a promise.

"Uh-huh," Rory replied, quietly, not needing him to repeat it.

"Anyway…," Logan exhaled, continuing to more practical matters, "but tonight, I don't think I'll be heading back to campus. I'm sorry…. This was just a very intense evening for me…," Logan began to explain.

"I'm sure," Rory replied, becoming increasingly worried about him, not even herself or them. Of course she wanted to see him and hear more about the evening, but she did understand his possible need for reflection. But mostly she just wanted to know what he was mulling over, what was he feeling? He wasn't reconsidering things, was he - despite his words just now.

"I just feel like being on my own tonight," Logan explained, reading her tone well. "Forgive me?" he added hopefully.

"There's nothing to forgive," Rory replied, soothingly.

"Okay if I call you tomorrow?" Logan promised.

"Or just drop by. But sure, yeah," Rory replied. "I miss you already," Rory added.

"I miss you too," Logan exhaled.

"Love you," Rory assured.

"Me too," he added, before disconnecting the call.

Rory let her hand with her phone in it fall, feeling relieved but defeated at the same time. Had it really been worth it?

But Rory couldn't deny that she was also kind of proud of him, and also for the first time - she felt validated. Still it was with a heavy heart that she went to bed that day.

It was during the early hours of the night, when Rory was woken by a tap on her window. It could've been 'taps', plural, but it was just one of them that she registered.

"Logan?" Rory mumbled, seeing a vaguely familiar shape behind the window. Her eyes were still mostly closed when she got up and stumbled up to the window, definitely not looking very presentable. But as soon as she was convinced it was him and she woke little more - her heart rate suddenly started up, fearing this was something serious that couldn't wait. Maybe despite his former words he'd changed his mind about them?

She opened the window and momentarily shivered from the coolness of the night air.

"Sorry for taking off like that. I thought I just wanted to wallow in my own self-pity or something… I was overreacting… that was just stupid," Logan confessed, the whiskey on his breath being pretty evident.

"Logan, it's fine…," Rory replied. "You coming in?" she asked, wanting to close the window already.

"You want me to?" Logan asked, causing Rory to frown from confusion.

"Come on…," she urged, taking his hand and aided him to climb in and closed the window after him. The room was now full of cool spring air, and outside the weak light of dawn was beginning to creep across the courtyard.

"Do I want you to?" Rory reflected his earlier question as they stood there, intertwining her fingers with his. She lifted one of her hands, with his hand still tangling from hers, and brushed her own finger along his cheek. "You silly boy… do I ever..," she added, and undressed him from the unnecessary layers and pulled him into her narrow bed.

Logan just wrapped himself around her, as if clinging onto a lifeline, and embraced the way Rory held onto him as well. In part all of this was convenience - the narrow bed barely having room enough for the two of them, but they both knew this was more than that. In that moment he just needed to know that he had her, that she accepted him - even this drunken person that he was at 4.30 AM who had turned up behind her window. Rory just floated the knowing that out of all the places and people where he could've gone… he'd still come to her.

The next day Logan had slept late - like their early days kind of late, when they'd literally fucked through the night and barely made it to class. But Rory had stayed by his side through most of the morning, doing her homework, while making sure Logan had everything he needed once he woke up, anticipating perhaps a hangover and being there to listen, once he did open up to talk about the details of the last night.

And once he woke…very-very slowly and quietly, almost like he'd been to battle the day before, it was already closer to noon. After he'd had some coffee and ate some cereal Rory had snuck out for him from the dining room that morning, he did what Rory had hoped for. And what more - she felt relieved she didn't have to ask for it yet again.

"So, knowing you, I'm sure you want some sort of a recap about last night…," Logan began, sitting on her bed, having pulled Rory to sit across from him. It was a little formal, but there really didn't seem to be a good way of doing this.

She observed him intently, her legs crossed in front of her, and took a deep breath. She nodded in reply.

"I won't go at it word for word… but I'll try to articulate it so you have all the facts," Logan continued.

He took another deep breath.

"My dad was late, so I barely even got his opinion on any of this. But from what I got… he didn't seem too surprised after last weekend," Logan said, sounding actually a little relieved of that. "He's never really been too interested in these aspects of my life... And while I don't know if he approves, he seemed to appreciate that you're not some 'dumb bimbo' - his words," Logan shared, causing Rory to raise her eyebrows at the choice of words.

"But he's never really known to say exactly what he means, so I wouldn't get excited yet," Logan added.

"What about you mom?" Rory asked.

"Well, honestly… I don't really care what she things. Dad's the one with the purse strings and with the means to actually influence what goes on with my life, but my grandfather had a few things to say, that I am not so proud to share," Logan continued.

Rory sighed internally but nodded, urging him to continue.

"He went on about the importance of this family. How marrying into this family was important business and I should know better than this and I shouldn't tease them with this kind of announcements if I wasn't serious. Apparently to him I couldn't be serious... He talked about my responsibilities to our family and how with you… By the way they both already knew you by name, so honestly I have a feeling dad must've told them something… And well basically my grandfather predicted how we would never work. How I was going to be taking over the company and there was just this one predestined path for me… and how I was going to need the right kind of person by my side," Logan finished, only embellishing his words a little.

"The right kind of person?" Rory repeated with contempt in her tone. It hadn't been easy hearing all of this, but she couldn't help being a little relieved his father hadn't said these things.

"Well his opinion of the right kind of person would probably be someone like my mom, though for the record she wasn't always his favorite person either in the beginning. He would've never picked her for my father had it been his choice," Logan explained.

"So they want and don't want someone who can just look pretty by your arm?" Rory reflected with some confusion.

"If my mother had her way, she'd want someone from a family similar to ours, business oriented, impeccable reputation - in part, honestly, I think she's even in a way still trying to avoid the struggles she had to go through at the time… so it's sometimes hard to even really be mad at her because her standpoint is just so different. But I won't lie that your mother having you at 16 wasn't an issue for her… she said some not so nice things regarding that - how you weren't raised for this role… How you'd never understand what my life was going to be like, how you wanted to work… how you had no idea what it would take to be in this family…," Logan explained.

Rory sighed. It indeed was only now hitting her how coming clean about their relationship actually did translate to the majority of their families as the first step towards marriage. She was not ready for that, so all this talk about 'being in their family' was daunting to say the least.

"But they're insane…and I told them that in lenght as did Honor. We're dating, even if we do move in together… I think it's ridiculous they're talking about such heavy things right off the bat… And I really just don't want that to scare you. We have all the time in the world and I don't want to take this as pressure in any way…," Logan felt he needed to assure her.

"Yeah, I know..," Rory replied, though inside she wasn't finding it easy to dismiss the criticism. She couldn't change the way she'd been brought up, or what she'd been brought up by a single mom, and she didn't want to. She was curious whether there were ways she could somehow prove herself to them over time - was it social skills? Joining the D.A.R? What was it that they, or more specifically, his mother wanted?

"I don't want their words to get you down. They're just words, they don't know you, nor what you're capable of. And I am not going to allow their words to influence what we are, is that clear?" Logan insisted.

Rory swallowed, knowing it was going to be a tricky thing to do, but she knew Logan was right. Allowing herself to be affected by them, was letting them win. The fighter in her, was definitely something that family had never seen.

"I love you," Rory said, raising to her knees and wrapped her arms around Logan's neck.

"I love you too," he murmured into her chest.