Doctor Vallack: writer of the 'Dread Doctors' book (reminding you that you've been experimented on),unmerciful killer, unmercifully killed, devoted scientist... also an asshole.

Stiles, along with many others, read the book. didn't feel anything, he knew that he wouldn't feel anything; the book provided two things: a headache and I don't mean the vanilla-pop-advil-for kind of headache, try the opposite of the word heaven, also the panic attack.

He didn't see them coming but wasn't expecting nothing either.

Stiles glanced at Scott's confused face, a flash of concern circled his eyes, and the rest of his features, he looked like he needn't another someone to worry about but Deaton said it was time, eighteen years is enough; Stiles realized that eighteen is a much scarier number in his situation.

Nine years since the ultimate confession that changed his life.

'You have been watched over as an experimental subject' was one of his mother's last words, he was told that he couldn't yet control his powers, he was told he had powers.

He was told a lot of things.

But he never understood any of them until he almost broke a kid's arm the day he was made fun of, nobody brought that up, he heard enough shouting and even more sufficient names, it was also the day he decided to take the confession seriously and keep the promise: 'I will never tell anyone'

They all watched as he paced nervously around the room, his friend's concern seemed to grow rhythmically with the others' impatience so he tried to make it easier, because he knew if he didn't, they would get stuck here until nightfall or Stiles would completely abandon the idea instead:

"Is everything okay?" Stiles froze at his words like he suddenly forgot how to blink, it was only a matter of seconds before his mind processed what Scott had just said:

"Yeah, yeah it's... no. Uhm" he hesitated "Not really." he gravely says before circling the square shaped room for what must be the sixth time, Stiles was sure that someone, among Kira, Liam and Malia was counting, it was probably Liam.

"Maybe you should just start talking" Lydia suggested, sounding more bored than impatient. Stiles glanced at her, studied her face then shook his head, pacing again as he spoke:

"Deaton said It was time to tell you but I- don't think I know how to tell you, or if I should show you instead" he scratched his head, then his eyes widened. He just said that out loud, didn't he?

"Show us what?" Scott asked through furrowed brows.

"Show you what I was going to show you..."

"Which is...?" The banshee's question sounded more frustrated than bored now, he wasn't going to talk, was he?

"Something." Lydia sighed.

"Is it anything dangerous?" Malia asked, looking around for some faces that might relate to the general paranoia, things were getting scary, everyone knows what happens when Deaton tells you to do the thing.

"Not to any of you." He says and it calms them down a little "Maybe a little."

they all stayed very still, careful not to let anything show on their faces so they could get this done with.

"You all read the book, right?"

"I didn't finish it yet" Kira says.

"Most of your read the book-" he restarts but doesn't know where to look, he's regretting the decision of gathering them, what must they think of him after he says it, no, stop predicting, just say it.

"I... I'm an experiment." He finally releases and still doesn't know how he managed that much emotion into it, it's just a confession. Stiles worries when the only thing he can hear is the sound of his own thinking, why are they so quiet?

"By the dread doctors?" Malia asks, he's seeing a flash of anger but chooses to glance to Scott.

Scott is quiet too.

He's frowning, he's everything but normal and of course Stiles expected that, he's expected almost every and any reaction he would get from the moment he knew, Deaton of course was a huge help in this.

Say something. He almost mouthes, but his lips just part silently.

"Since when?" his friend asks, his eyes glassy.

Stiles hesitates for a good moment before choosing to go honest from A to Z, he's regretting that he's going to regret it:

"... since before I was born" a long time ago.

"So you don't remember it?" Lydia asks, he realizes for the second time that he's not doing the eye-contact thing, where are walls when you need to stare at them, where are they?

Stiles shakes his head and braces himself for the questions, the good and the bad ones.

"If we can't smell anything on you, then... what are you?" Scott's beta, Liam asks but Stiles sees it hidden between layers of fakery, it's who are you, who were you this whole time and who are you going to be from now on?

No matter how hard he tries to push the thought away, the only word that came to mind at that moment was a monster.

What else could he be when all he's brought to this world -even before he was born- was death and destruction?

How could he define himself as a good soldier when all the wars he's fought where against unselfishness for himself, it was survival and living after survival.

Maybe he shouldn't be too honest after all...