Bleach Cross/Across the Dimensions: Fifth Division in the Red II: Princess Division

The spoof returns. For my readers who want to skip ahead to the contest.

After the events of Red Gemini, Momo resumes her dating show preparations. As the undecided divisions join in, a second princess joins in the contest. Surely, this means that the fifth division's money troubles should be solved twice as fast, right?

Contains major spoilers for planned events in Red Gemini.

This is a work of fanfiction using characters and elements from Bleach, which is property of Tite Kubo and applicable others. Eugena does not claim any ownership to the original Bleach characters or world. This fanwork is written for entertainment purposes and not for profit. See also disclaimer and/or author's note(s) at the end of chapter.

Chapter one written 9/26/2022

天国的白雪公主

Opening Theme: Next Stage by AAA
Ending Theme: TBA

Bleach: Cross
Fifth Division in the Red II:
Princess Division

by Eugena

Rated M

Chapter One: Back to Business

天国的白雪公主

Yukihime Suzunami Voice Over:

Previously on Bleach: Across the Dimensions:

My name is Yukihime. No, not the zanpakuto. I'm Yukihime Suzunami, but you'll have to call me Shirahime Shihoin for now. Like a certain other princess you may have heard of, I am Shirayukihime Shinnouhi.

Confused yet?

The final incarnation of Shirayukihime Shinnouhi, Shirahime Thorne, taicho of the fifth division, had a son named Daichi. She also had a daughter, his twin, Raiko. (And, of course, Yachiru and Kosetsu, but you knew that already, right?) To save Raiko from a bad man (who it is, I don't know), she hid Raiko inside of Daichi.

The day came that they had to be separated. The noble Byakuya Kuchiki, that insulting man who apparently developed a possessive obsession over Shirahime, threatened Shinjiro Kita, the man Raiko thought of as her father. So, Raiko appeared to punish Kuchiki. That's when the trouble began.

Working together with Unohana, both Kurotsuchis, her parents, and the fathers of her children, Shirahime tried to separate the two children. Not an easy task. She tapped into her god powers and summoned her last soul.

That was me.

If you don't know the full story on that one, you've skipped over the story in between this one and the other In the Red. Or you've read what our author has put on this thing called the Internet so far and just can't wait to read more of this arc.

Perhaps you're here for the dating contest. Which would be why this story started even before the other one finished.

Yes, contest. You know, Momo Hinamori's idea?

We weren't forgetting that.

Just had to deal with some family matters first.

It's really important that no one outside the fifth division and a few select others know I'm the one in Shirahime's robes right now. Like really important Yamamoto Sou Taicho doesn't find out.

You'll keep that a secret, won't you?

I still can't believe Shihoin Yoruichi Taicho and Urahara Kisuke Taicho are my parents. I never knew! But it's been over 100 years. Soi Fon, Shirahime's honorary sister, and Mayuri Kurotsuchi have taken their places.

Apparently Kisuke Urahara used to hate Shirahime. Then she died, and he started regretting it. The Soul King (that abomination!) resurrected her, and Urahara's been trying to make it up to her ever since.

Perhaps he'll have something to be happy about today.

As for me, I'm off to a meeting with Yamamoto and the other taichos. I hope I can pull off being fifth division taicho and the current Imperial Princess a little longer.

天国的白雪公主

SOUL SOCIETY - FIRST DIVISION

(THREE DAYS AFTER THE CONCLUSION OF "RED GEMINI")

Yamamoto Sou Taicho called the meeting to order. Disappointingly, the Imperial Princess was in attendance. Her honorary sister and head of the stealth force stood next to her.

Kenpachi Zaraki looked uneasily at the spot Retsu Unohana usually stood. Kurotsuchi was also absent.

"Well," Yamamoto began, "are Unohana and Kurotsuchi coming? Don't tell me they eloped."

The room broke out into a coughing fit.

"Those two?" Kenpachi laughed. "You must be kidding."

"After all, it's clear that Kurotsuchi likes -," Shunsui began, only to be cut off my Soi Fon's hard stare. "Uh, his research, his science. He's like married to it."

"Yes, exactly right," Soi Fon agreed. "Don't mention sister, you idiot," she wanted to say.

"Perhaps if Kisuke Urahara were still here, he'd finally marry him," Yamamoto suggested.

"You're kidding," Shunsui said. "Err . . . I mean, what a good point!"

Sajin Komamura kept his gaze steady. It was so obvious how many people in this room were interested in the princess. Then again, it was a great thing Sou Taicho had no idea. Perhaps it was his age?

Momo stood in the back of the room, refusing to kneel. Two of Shirahime's guards, Lin and Jiang stood to either side of her.

Another thing Yamamoto didn't like. Momo came here as the representative of the alpha subunit which was in charge of keeping the barrier between here and the royal realm in tact.

Shinjiro Kita, its usual leader, was recovering after a huge reiatsu drain. So was Yumichika Ayasegawa for some reason. Yamamoto didn't get the 'who was the dad' memo - on purpose.

As for the two guards, the Shinnouhi Royal Guard was a subdivision of zero division. Yamamoto's jurisdiction? Just like their name, zero.

Across from Momo, former Crown Prince Ichigo waited. He was the previous incarnation of Ichigo Kurosaki who had taken his place in life. He refused to allow Kurosaki to come back.

"I think we should address this man," Yamamoto said, indicating Ichigo.

"Yes, you should," Ichigo agreed. "It's 'Prince' Ichigo. As in the husband of Shirayukihime Shinnouhi and the next Soul King."

"We would like Ichigo Kurosaki to come back now," Yamamoto said.

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"How about we give you the princess back, and you can go home?"

"What a good idea. I'll go get Hikari."

Kenpachi Zaraki blew up at the name. Yachiru was the reincarnation of Princess Hikari. People in the royal realm called her that. But Ichigo and Rukia - no matter their incarnations - did not deserve to call her that.

"You will not call my daughter Hikari."

The group looked to the woman many of them knew was not Shirahime Thorne. It was Yukihime Suzunami, her previous incarnation. But they were hiding this fact. She was going by Shirahime Shihoin now, saying that her near death experience saving her kids awoken a desire to become closer to her mother.

"Shihoin?" Yamamoto prompted.

"That's Shinnouhi," Yukihime reminded him. She pointed to Ichigo. "And this man will not be taking me or my daughter anywhere."

"Exactly," Zaraki agreed. "No deal."

"I concur," Ukitake said, staring daggers at Ichigo.

"I think we all agree," Sajin said.

"You don't belong here, Shinnouhi," Yamamoto reminded her.

"Then again, maybe not all of us," Sajin thought.

"I belong wherever the hell I want to be!" Yukihime snapped.

Soi Fon wanted to hug Yukihime. She was doing so good as Shirahime. Sister would be proud.

"Fine," Yamamoto agreed. "For now. Moving on. Let's talk about the trouble your adopted children have caused, Shinnouhi."

"I don't have adopted children," Yukihime said. "They are my children."

"One of them is a zanpakuto!" Byakuya Kuchiki snapped.

"You will refrain from calling Shinnouhi's daughter a sword," Jiang hissed at him.

"She is!" Kuchiki exclaimed.

"Destroy him, Kosetsu!" Yukihime summoned Kosetsu from her zanpakuto. She had Shirahime's Kosetsu Ryu, but not Yukihime no Tenjou, Shirahime's other zanpakuto. Her shikai command was different from Shirahime's. Considering Shirahime usually didn't use commands, it seemed no one had noticed yet. Except for some of the people who knew she was Yukihime anyway.

The snow dragon Kosetsu appeared and opened its jaws to bite Kuchiki.

"Oh," Zaraki added, "that's the princess' eldest. Don't do something stupid like calling him a pet."

Byakuya Kuchiki ducked and ran, trying to get away.

"Shirahime Shihoin!" Yamamoto snapped. "How dare you summon your zanpakuto here!"

"I think you forget who is charge here," Yukihime said.

"Absolutely," Jiang and Lin said together.

"You tell them, taicho," Momo encouraged.

"You've become such a bitch since you've had your near-death experience, hime-san," Byakuya complained.

"What did you say?" Kenpachi Zaraki snapped.

Toshiro Hitsugaya beat him to the punch - literally.

Kosetsu high-fived Toshiro.

"That's hime-sama to you, mortal! I'll make you eat your words!" Hinamori screamed from across the room.

"My sister and I shall remind you just how mortal you are!" Lin declared.

Yukihime raised a brow at Kosetsu. She gestured for him to return to the sword.

He let out a puff of snow powder.

"I think we need to do another sweep of that pheromone powder," Shunsui suggested. "Somehow, Kuchiki here keeps getting poisoned. I'm sure that's the reason he's acting this way, right, Byakuya?"

"I'm sure it is," Ukitake agreed. "Surely."

"Oh, it had better be," Kenpachi said. "Or I might just make sure you won't be able to do that again."

"Man after my own heart," Ichigo said. "Shall we draw straws on who gets to do it?"

"That's maybe the only thing I'll be agreeing with you on," Kenpachi said.

The sisters looked to each other. Lin leaned over to Jiang's ear. "Princess really likes that about the ex-prince."

"Enough for another wedding night?" Jiang asked.

"Don't worry. We'll just substitute someone else. That's not happening again. At least not with him."

"Oh," Momo said to them. "A wedding night sounds really important! I volunteer. Switch him for me."

"Oh, dear," Lin remarked, "she does not understand."

"Understand what?" Momo asked.

"You don't have the anatomy she wants," Lin answered. "At least pretty soon, that stuck up noble won't either."

"Would it be easy to get it?" Momo asked.

"I still don't think you understand," Jiang said. "Anyway, just watch. They might be ready to just say it now."

Sajin tried to keep a straight face. He heard the three. The others did not, well, maybe the princess did. Good thing Ichigo didn't.

"What are you all talking about?" Toshiro asked as he watched Kenpachi and Ichigo.

Sajin's eyes widened. He didn't know. He was obsessed over the princess, and yet he had no idea.

"It's an adult thing," Sajin said. "Nothing to worry yourself about."

"Oh, I'd like to talk about it," Ichigo said. "Who do I need to kill - or castrate?"

"Castrate?" Toshiro repeated. What did he mean?

"All very adult," Shunsui insisted. "Just don't worry about it."

"I'm suddenly feeling the need to talk about it," Toshiro said.

Soi Fon rolled her eyes. Why did they have such a young taicho anyway?

"Okay," Soi Fon said, "I'll explain this. Really watered down.

"Some idiot in the twelfth division laced tea with pheromones. Kuchiki and sister got poisoned. So, they spent the night together. Because of these pheromones. Just accept this and don't ask me to explain what they are. Then this ass has been blaming her the whole time! Like the idiot can't imagine how many people would want to spend the night with her! I mean, other people would be angry it wasn't something they wanted, but they'd never blame her."

"What do you mean, spend the night?" Toshiro asked.

"You must be kidding," Kenpachi remarked.

"Where babies come from," Soi Fon answered quickly.

"You mean they -?" Toshiro stammered. "They -?"

"I guess you get it now, kid," Kenpachi said. "I really did want to have to give that talk to you."

"How could he be completely clueless when Matsumoto's room is right next to his?" Yukihime pondered.

"You mean to tell me he hears that?" Kenpachi asked. "At his age, he doesn't need to!"

"Oh, yes, at 'his age'." Yukihime raised a brow and stared at Toshiro. "What an interesting age he's at. Oh, yeah, that reminds me, sister mentioned that she volunteered to have that 'talk' with all the females here that need it. Since we're going to host that contest. I'm sure someone else can give it to the males. After all, shouldn't everyone understand certain facts of life before we put this show on the road?"

"That's a good idea, Soi Fon," Shunsui said.

"Not me," Soi Fon said. "Sister Benihime."

By Benihime she meant Benihime Urahara, secretly a/k/a the real Shirahime Thorne. Sister Shirahime no doubt did not like having the last name Urahara. All the better.

Since Yukihime mentioned her, Soi Fon and the others who knew the truth hoped Yukihime meant that Shirahime was finally back.

Hope can be easy. Reality, however, is a different thing.

天国的白雪公主

AUTHOR'S NOTE - DISCLAIMER:

This work is a transformative fanwork, written for entertainment purposes only and not for profit. Canon characters and backstories are copyright to Tite Kubo and applicable others. Original characters and original backstories are created by Eugena. The backstories of several canon characters and some canon elements have been significantly modified for the purposes of this fanwork. These modified characters and modified elements should not be taken as canon from the original Bleach and may not necessarily reflect Bleach's copyright holder's original intentions. Works rated M or MA are not intended to be read by minors.

This is a work of fiction. Unless otherwise indicated, all the names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents in this work are either the product of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

The author hopes this work will help readers further enjoy the original Bleach.

谢谢你们的阅读。