Chapter | One
Assumptions, that's what everyone had now a days about her character, but the reality was that they didn't know her. Did they really ever? The teenagers who sat in her class at Collège Françoise Dupont felt justified to judge her all based on one teenaged girl's lies. As the months went by, everything seemed to fade away into a hazed around Marinette Dupain-Cheng.
Alya was no longer her best friend, falling victim to the lies that left Lila's lips as if it were dripping honey. Lies that were so sweet to other's ears and venom to Marinette's heart.
Nino, her dear child hood friend, was supporting his girlfriend because that's how those things worked. Marinette knew that, and she'd accepted that. She understood, and she knew it didn't make it right, and that it hurt her- but she understood.
Then there was Adrien, the sweet boy who wanted to play peace maker. The model that she found herself less infatuated with as the days went by. He would sit with Lila as she wrapped herself around him as if he were some prize to be won, as if he were an object and not a person. Marinette already accepted that she couldn't compete for Adrien's heart, because there was no point anymore. He didn't care for her enough to check on her, to see if she was okay because of Lila's lies.
No one did.
The whole purpose of her sitting in the back and letting the lies play themselves out were to expose Lila over time was supposed to eventually work right? That had been what Adrien had said, and over time it had just gotten worse. Waiting for Lila to expose herself, to shrink the possibility of her getting akumatized, was supposed to happen- just like Adrien had said. Yet it never did, and now her lies had gotten so far out of hand that Marinette wasn't even sure Adrien knew a truth from a lie from the Italian girl anymore.
Quite frankly, Marinette no longer cared. She no longer cared that Alya believed she was jealous over Lila and Adrien, that she was willing to believe everything without fact checking. No longer did she care to have Adrien's pictures on her wall or worry about falling in front of him, because now she no longer felt anything. Not for Alya, or Nino, or Adrien or even the class that used to welcome her with open arms that now greeted her with icy stares and whispers in the air.
All this because of one girl, Lila Rossi.
Their insults still rattled inside Marinette's head every single waking moment of the day and haunted every nightmare she was plagued with at night. Words that felt like knives being stabbed through her heart and twisted by the people she once trusted so dearly enough to call her friends. An overwhelming pain that Marinette silently suffered in an internal agony.
The smiles for her parents were well rehearsed, perfected in the time she stood in front of her bathroom mirror while she wiped her tears away before Tikki could see. A smile she could only fake for a few seconds at a time, because the pain of forcing that one movement was just too much.
After all she was supposed to be the epitome of perfection, of love and justice and all things fair. She was supposed to be the ever loved Ladybug that everyone in Paris seemed to fawn over and adore. Marinette had absolutely came to hate Ladybug with a passion so fierce that it scared her sometimes. Yet, in a twisted sick joke fate pulled on her, Ladybug was the only thing she had.
"Marinette.." Tikki's voice trailed off as she floated higher with sad eyes watching her chosen. She could feel Marinette's distress, after all the teenaged girl was tethered to her. That was why only Marinette could wield her miraculous so effectively, and only a new one could be chosen once the current Ladybug's life cycle was complete.
Tikki could feel every pang, every inch of heartache Marinette bared and it scared Tikki for her holder's safety. This time not from an akuma, but from Marinette herself. Master Fu had taken a risk choosing the heroes of Paris at such a young age, the pressure of a life, of normalcy and balancing hero work was no easy feet. For nearly three years Marinette had done it flawlessly, but within the past few months the teenaged girl wavered.
The only people Tikki could blame were the ones that betrayed Marinette's trust. All the kwami of creation could do was sit there inside Marinette's purse and listen to insult after insult, lie after lie, and the threats Lila Rossi told Marinette i8n isolation. Tikki could only get angry in her small confinements of the pink purse, and when she thought she couldn't get anymore mad Plagg's kitten had to come and tell her the worst advice.
To tell Marinette that she should stand back and stay quiet, to let Lila run wild with the false truths that spilled from her lips like an unholy gospel. Just because he believed that the lies would catch up, and that Lila would be caught in the web of lies she's woven herself. To limit the possibility of Lila getting akumatized. It utterly pissed Tikki off, and she rarely ever got mad.
Did Adrien not consider Marinette's feelings in this situation? Had he not said he'd stand by her side and failed to do so? Adrien never considered her chosen's feelings, never really once checking in on her as Adrien or as Chat Noir. Tikki never questioned Master Fu or Plagg, but she couldn't help but do so now. Marinette gave so much of herself to receive so little back. Her black cat, her balance had failed her and now Tikki would have to watch and pray that Plagg got Adrien in line.
That he could do his job and get his side back in balance with her side.
"I'm sorry Tikki. I need to be alone for a moment." Marinette softly replied, a crack etching its way into her voice as she removed her ear rings before Tikki could even protest in one swift movement.
Looking down at her left palm that held the earrings of Ladybug, the miraculous of the creation kwami, of the very gift that gave her Tikki and Marinette couldn't help but loved and hated it all at the same. She loved Tikki with every fiber of her being. Yet she hated Ladybug, because if anyone knew who was under the mask then they would hate her too.
It was then Marinette realized that she truly hated herself, and she couldn't help but clutch the earrings to her chest as the tears welled up in her eyes. The onslaught of words from over the past few days at school had come back to mind like a freight train hitting a cement wall.
Jealous.
Selfish.
Ugly.
Lair.
Bully.
Coward.
Fake.
Bitch.
Stalker.
Freak.
The soft cries had turned into heartbreaking sobs, because everything she cared about was gone. No one would miss her, only Ladybug. Even then, Paris would hate her if they knew the truth. That love would turn into malice, and the adoration would turn into inevitable hate.
Lifting her head up, Marinette stared at herself in the full body mirror. Stared at her own red and puffy eyes. Setting the earrings down, Marinette took a tentative step closer to the mirror and envisioned her suit. In the real world stood Marinette, and in the mirror stood Ladybug- the part of her everyone wanted to see.
Rage suddenly fired up in her veins, and without thinking it over a scream of distress left Marinette's chapped lips as she hit the mirror with both of her fists. She ignored the pain of glass in her skin, listening to the glass fall to the floor and felt the blood on her hands. To her surprise the pain felt good, the physical pain she inflicted herself gave her something to focus on.
Yet as her blue belled eyes caught sight of all her designs sprawled out, her anger spiked into a blind fury. In one simple, fluid motion Marinette had shoved everything on her desk to the floor. Water spilt onto the papers on the floor, soaking up the liquid that ruined the black and blue ink in running smudges. Tins full of sewing needles and thread opening upon impact, rolling and unwinding around her.
She couldn't bring herself to care about those designs any longer.
Somewhere along the way Marinette stopped caring about being a designer over the months. How could she though? The only thing Marinette had going for her was being Ladybug, and the irony was how much everyone simply adored her other persona. If they knew who it was under the red and black poka-dotted mask, would they still love her? Would they still respect and adore her? For Marinette the answer would be no. They would revolt, hate her and shun her out. If they knew the truth, it would only disappoint Paris and everyone who ever believed in Ladybug.
Even Chat Noir had stopped coming by her balcony at night, which she should have felt relieved about since she was Ladybug, but it only brought a bigger sense of loneliness. She had grown accustomed to her late night chats with Chat Noir, talking about nothing of importance as all her worries melted away. His presence brought her a sense of peace as they sat in her room watching movies on low volume Friday nights or when they played video games Sunday mornings. She missed his stupid nicknames, and his stupid face.
She missed him.
Sure she saw him as Ladybug, but it wasn't the same as when he was with Marinette. A few times she had really considered revealing her identity to him, yet the fear of even Chat rejecting her as Marinette after finding the truth out was the only thing stopping her. She couldn't risk either relationship with the leather wearing cat hero, so she did what she was painfully good at now. Marinette kept her mouth shut and continued on with her days, ignoring the heartache as best as she could.
After all, she's done so much for everyone in this damed city with and without the mask. On a daily base at school she was her class's president, their 'everyday Ladybug' as they labeled her- the irony in that now if they only knew. She had made sure to do everything everyone asked of her, students and teachers alike, even burdening their issues along with her own. She saved the city from akumas with Chat Noir on a daily as well. Tried her best to be the perfect daughter and student by day and to withhold the Ladybug image by night during patrol while being constantly flirted with by her partner.
It was all suffocating her, pulling her down like a weight in water that was slowly drowning her to death.
Never once had anyone asked her if she was okay, only Tikki who could only do so much to take away the heartache that rooted it self into Marinette's heart. Sleep was the only thing Marinette ever did now (when she could sleep), and be Ladybug. After all, she was to be the new guardian, so fashion wasn't a choice for her anymore. Not like she really wanted to go that route still either way.
These bitter thoughts were all that raced through Marinette's mind for days on end, and due to that it seemed liked everything in life lost it's luster recently . There was no joy in doing much anymore, just a sense of freedom and relief when she could run across the rooftops of Paris alone and free of her thoughts as adrenaline rushed through her veins.
Slowly Marinette put her earrings back in her ears, slumping to her knees on her bedroom floor. She let the tears flow freely, knowing Tikki would be the one to alert her of an akuma if one made way to her. She just needed a moment to let it all out. Just one time to let her image crack for a moment.
"Marinette, I'm worried about you." Tikki's voice softly brought the teenager out of her thoughts, looking at the cut on her chosen's hand with sad eyes.
Marinette looked down at her red kwami, who's blue belled eyes shined brightly with worry. All Tikki did was worry about her, and it brought a warmth to her heart but at the same time it made her guilty for causing her kwami so much more unnecessary stress. They had enough to worry about with Hawkmoth and protecting the miraculous box, including the Ladybug miraculous and Black Cat miraculous.
"I'll be okay Tikki." Marinette reassured with a whisper and small smile, softly booping Tikki's head and wiping at her own eyes. "Summer break is nearly here, and we get a break from everything and everyone besides Hawkmoth. No more Lila and her lies for a few months."
Tikki started to fluster in tamed anger at the name of the lier causing her chosen so much distress. She was surprised Plagg was letting his chosen get away with this much for this long, but then again Tikki didn't personally know how Adrien was. All she knew was as Adrien Agreste, Chat Noir, was a doormat who would sit and watching others get hurt thinking it was for the better cause all the while people walked over him. Tikki never thought someone could have such a dumb concept of reality, but the boy was sheltered. School affairs and battles were different from akumas after all, and so they were dealt with accordingly.
"We can start your training with Master Fu too. Becoming the next guardian is a huge responsibility and honor." Tikki beamed, not able to hide her excitement of being with her chosen for a longer time than her other bugs from the past.
Marinette couldn't help but laugh at Tikki's giddiness, finding it refreshing from the small kwami. Without Tikki, Marinette honestly wouldn't know what she would have done. Probably suffocate at school and let everyone's words take everything away. The only people she really had, besides Tikki and her parents, were Luka and Kagami.
Yet they didn't go to the same school she did and their schedules didn't always match up with hers, plus she didn't want to worry them too much. She didn't want to worry anyone and maybe she did that to the fault. Marinette was never seen without a smile, hardly got mad and always was clumsy. It was character she couldn't afford to break.
Not now.
Not ever.
Getting up, Marinette went to wash her hands. Only wincing when Tikki helped remove some glass shards from her skin and carefully wrapped wounds that would heal soon. She sighed softly, blowing a strand of her hair away from her face and glancing at Tikki.
"Maman and Papa are out on a date tonight, so want to go to the coffee shop around the corner?" Marinette asks, earning an eager nod.
"Only if you order those delicious lemon bars Marinette!" Tikki chirped, already flying back into Marinette purse as her holder laughed and followed in suit to pick up the purse and make her way out of the house.
It was warm out on Paris's streets, not as hot as it was earlier as the sun began to set slowly. A small summer breeze blew through Marinette's hair as she left a tip on the cafe table and slowly made her way to exit the facility. Tikki was still munching away on her lemon bar, hidden perfectly from sight.
Her head was a little it more clear now, not as heavy and fogged up with unwanted thoughts. She felt a little more better, not much but a little. It was something at least, she couldn't complain. The evening was turning out to be silent, peaceful. It was nice to not worry in that moment.
And it was short lived as she bumped into someone being lost in thoughts. Unfortunately it happened to be the one and only Chloe Bourgeois, and Marinette steeled herself real quick for a verbal lashing. Yet it never came. Instead Chloe's blue eyes look uncertain, and she opened her mouth to say something and then snapped it back shut. She did that a few more times.
"Are you okay Dupain-Cheng?" Chloe asked rushed, almost sounding like word vomit. It had Marinette raising an eyebrow. "I mean, you been different and I couldn't help but notice." Then she took a steady breath to calm herself, "Lila lies, and I'm sorry. If you need to uh, talk, I'm here."
"I don't get why you're trying to comfort me, Chloe." Marinette says after a moment, looking at the blonde unamused. As in waiting for the punchline.
Chloe huffed, crossing her arms as she looked the baker girl down. For a moment she had her usual cold look, but to Marinette's surprise the blonde slowly gave her a small, warm smile. An expression she never saw Chloe ever have. Especially in her own presence since the two of them had this childhood rivalry going on for years that they never seemed to grow out of. Yet sill unsure for a few long moments.
"I've known that you've been Ladybug for a while, well since the day I met Pollen." Chloe stated, letting the information settle into Marinette's head, watching as her blue belled eyes widen with surprise.
"How did you find out?" Marinette didn't even have the energy to argue. If Chloe really wanted to expose her she would have done so long ago.
Chloe's blue eyes fell to the small pink purse the baker's daughter carried around everywhere with her, "Remember when I found your kwami? She was a cute little red thing that you claimed was a toy. It didn't click until a little bit after I met Pollen. Then after that it all made sense, same eyes and same stupid pigtails on you and Ladybug."
It made sense, perfect sense in that case and it was also something Marinette never thought about. A small frown took it's place on her lips, "Then why keep it a secret?"
"Look, Dupain-Cheng." Chloe huffed, crossing her arms. "I respect you, and sometimes I can get jealous of you. You're the girl everyone likes, and your parents are welcoming. A lot more than my own, and that life full of love and attention- I wish I had it sometimes."
"Chloe-"
"Go to New York with my mom, Mari." Chloe said softly, cutting her off with a the first reassuring smile she'd never given her before.
"What?" Marinette breathed out, eyes widening.
"My mom is leaving for New York again in the morning, and with everything that's happening here.." Chloe trailed off, looking away for a second before her eyes snapped back to Marinette and her back straightened up with newfound confidence. "You should go, new scene, new people. Have a clean break."
"I can't just leave." Marinette disputed. "I have school, my parents, being Ladybug! What about Akuma's? Those are my responsibilities I can't just abandon because a girl wants to spread lies."
"You can leave Pollen with me." Chloe suggested. "I can help protect this city. And we know there's more to Lie-la than that."
"Hawkmoth would come after you. Chloe, all of Paris knows who you are." Marinette shook her head and waved her hands. "It wouldn't work. I can't leave Paris, not with Hawkmoth running around."
"Marinette-"
"No Chloe." Marinette's voice turned stern. "As much as I want to take your offer, go off and intern for your mom all the way in New York- I can't. My responsibility is here in Paris."
For the first time Chloe saw the mask of Marinette Dupain-Cheng slip. Her voice had a twinge of desperation, either for her to understand or that Marinette really wanted to go. The brightness left her blue-belled light a flame being snuffed out. The toll of everything was nothing physical, it was all mental and even Chloe knew that it wasn't healthy. Marinette was falling down a pit without a way to get back up.
"So that's it?" Chloe crossed her arms, lips in a thin line. "You're going to stay and take everything dealt at you? Dupain-Cheng, as admirable as that is, it's stupid. You're bottling it all up and when that control slips, we're all pretty much screwed. Akumatized Marinette isn't one I want to meet."
"I've been doing just fine." Marinette reassured, but it didn't even sound convincing to her own ears.
"Uh-huh, sure. If you say so." Chloe rolled her eyes, but the concern never left and then a softer look took to her blue eyes. "If anything, go for the summer. A month, or two away will be okay Marinette."
Before Marinette could open her mouth to protest, Tikki flew up and into the conversation. She heard enough, and usually she would be all for Marinette staying here in Paris to save Nooroo, to defeat Hawkmoth and maybe get a little upset that Chloe knew her holder's identity. The reality was this was what Marinette needed.
She needed to step back from being Ladybug and be Marinette, just Marinette for a little while. She needed to leave Paris and breathe fresh air that isn't tainted with lies and memories. Marinette needed a clear head, and she was only human. Tikki knew there was only so much a human could take, especially a sixteen year old girl who had a double life as a hero that took on too much responsibility at times.
"You should go Marinette." Tikki tells her softly.
Marinette's eyes widen, "What about Paris? Being Ladybug? I can't just pick up and go."
"No one else could ever replace you as Ladybug, which is why we have to talk to Master Fu. Explain to him what is happening." Tikki gave a reassuring smile to her little bug. "We can take Kaalki with us if Ladybug is truly needed in Paris, but you need a break from Paris."
"Then it's settled." Chloe cut back in, taking her phone out and scrolling through her contacts. "I'll inform mother you're leaving with her within the next few days with her to get arrangements done.."
"I have to tell m parents still Chloe!" Marinette tried to argue but it was no use.
Chloe merely gave Marinette a look, "They'll support you no matter what. They love you too much to keep you held back from a dream internship. And besides, you'll be back eventually."
It was safe to say that Marinette's next stop was Master Fu's shop, along with Tikki's encouragement to go and speak with the current guardian as soon as possible since Audrey Bourgeois left in the morning to New York. It was a lot more easier than Marinette expected, with Master Fu being understanding as Tikki explained the situation that had been going on a while. With what Chloe had proposed.
"I believe Marinette going to New York will help her emotions and mental state. It would improve her performance and give Plagg a chance to straighten out his holder inside and outside the suit to regain balance." Tikki says, floating in front of Master Fu, "She can use the horse miraculous to travel back and forth when an akuma strikes. Meanwhile, Chloe Bourgeois should be made into a permanent holder for the mean time."
"Are we sure that's a good idea?" Master Fu asks, since Chloe outed herself.
"She kept Marinette's identity secret for months, has not contributed to the state Marinette is in now but offering her a way out to get better- to grow. I know you felt it as well, that Chloe is the true holder of the bee miraculous." Tikki gave a reassuring smile. "I can feel it that this will work out, that everything will be okay Master."
Master Fu trusted Tikki's opinion, and it seems she had already made a judge of character on Chloe. Not only that, Marinette had accepted the blonde teenager as well. It meant something, as as future guardian, Master Fu had to trust Marinette if she was okay with the choice. It was time for her to start believing herself and gain that instinct.
"I will deliver the bee miraculous to Chloe after your departure, I would like to speak to her as well." Master Fu says, "And since you are going to New York, there is someone I would like you to meet out there and perhaps train under."
"Who is it?" Marinette asks.
"His name is Stephen Strange, a master in the mystic arts." Master Fu says, earning an excited Tikki to flutter around.
"Like The Ancient One?" Tikki asks, earning a nod.
"Mystic Arts?" Marinette repeated. "Why do you want me to meet him, Master Fu?"
"The mystic arts are the closet thing the the miraculous stones-"
"Second closest thing. The Infinity Stones are the closest thing." Tikki corrected.
Infinity Stones? Note to self, ask Tikki about it later.
"Anyways, I believe that learning the techniques that is taught for the mystic arts- not really needing to try to learn the magic of it, would be beneficial. Wisdom is power, and they have wisdom that goes back further than the Miraculous Temple." Master Fu smiled at her, "I believe you're capable of learning the mystic arts and all that it has to offer, and that it will help you become a greater Guardian of the Miraculous in the future. Perhaps even the best one yet."
And just like that, Marinette bit off more than she could probably chew as she nodded in agreement.
Yeah so I had this idea saved for a while and decided to do the first chapter to see how it goes. Hope you enjoyed it!