This fic starts with Gadreel trying to throw Cas from the bunker, and will rewrite the events of Season 9 onwards, primarily focusing on Dean and Cas' perspective. Slow burn Destiel.

NOTE: This story is cross-posted with Ao3. It has been given another editing pass there and is up-to-date. It has also been broken down by season. Bob Wess on Ao3.

"If he stays, I'm afraid I will have no choice but to leave." Sam's voice carried the angel's words.

"Well no, you can't do that." Dean was in disbelief for a second, as shock didn't allow him to fully process the threat. "Sam's not well enough, if you leave his body-"

"I know." Sam's face was positioned into one resembling pity. "I'm sorry."

Dean stared at his brother's face, looking into the eyes of who he believed to be Ezekiel. He waited for more to be said, for something to jog his understanding. Instead he let the words click into place on their own. His stare cooled, and he unconsciously squared his shoulders for the fight. "No."

"Dean-"

"No." Dean snapped a little louder. He clenched his fist and collected himself for a second. He dropped his voice again to not worry Cas in the other room. "I said no you feathered son of a bitch. You don't waltz in here with this either/or live-or-die crap speech and expect me to just roll over." He took a step forward, his resolve hardening further. "You need Sam as much as he needs you. Now I've played ball with every stupid demand you've had so far. I am lying every single damn day to my own brother about you taking up nest in his head, and I get it. I'll do just about anything to keep that kid safe, but you are asking me to choose between family, and that just doesn't fly, you hear me?"

"I'm afraid-"

"Yeah well you should be." Dean snapped before he could continue. "We are underground in a bunker warded so well, the angels can't even see the damn place. Where you can only be let in through the front goddamn door with a key that only you and me have. You want me to keep Cas on lock down or keep him away from you outside, that's fine. That's a compromise I am willing to make, but I will not throw him out to the angels, you hear me?. You are going to sit down, and you are going to shut up, and so help me God, if you try and force him out I will find something in this bunker to help me. I will strap your ass into a holding cell in the basement and let you rot in my brother until he is good and healed and then I will rip you out and end you, is that understood?"

The angel's face relaxed into one of displeasure. "I do not believe this is wise."

"I don't give a damn what you believe. Is. That. Understood?"

There was a pause long enough to boil Dean's blood, but the angel gave a nearly imperceptible nod. "Understood."

"Good. Now put Sam back on the line and get out of my sight."

.

Dean had to take a moment to calm himself after the near heart attack he had suffered when he was told to pick between Cas and Sam. His frustration left him with an exhaustion that winded him a little. He excused his brother with an improvised quip and a promise to catch up with him after he spoke to the former angel.

After he managed to stuff his emotions back in their box, he took a deep breath and walked up the few steps to approach Cas in the library.

"This food. I can't get enough." Cas greeted, holding up his burrito in explanation.

Dean gave a weak smile. "Yeah. Well maybe we'll explore the finer foods beyond soggy burritos one day." He pulled out a chair and sank into it, glad he could avoid having a much more unwelcome discussion with the former angel. He watched Cas eat in silence for a few moments. "I have to ask Cas, what's up with the duds?"

Cas tilted his head for a moment before Dean gestured at his clothes and he understood. "After I left the wreckage of the car and my fight with Hael, my clothing had become quite bloody." the angel spoke in his usual indifferent and slightly unsettling way, and Dean frowned at the casual mention (and lack of detail) of a car crash.

Before he could ask, Cas continued. "I was directed to a laundromat, and I intended to wash them with the remainder of the money given to me by the man who first gave me a ride off the mountain. However it seemed more strategic to satisfy my vessel's need for sustenance before something as frivolous as personal appearance. Still, I couldn't wander the streets covered in blood, it's something humans tend to frown upon. And further still I could not wander without clothes, in this culture that is even less accepted. So I had to avail myself of whatever clothing seemed appropriately sized in a nearby clothing basket. Their owner had not returned yet, and there was opportunity to leave unnoticed."

Dean nodded slowly. "Right." It was weird to see him out of his tan coat. Save for quick moments, he had only seen the angel outside of the trench coat twice, once in 2014 end-of-the-world-hellscape land, and once when he was Emmanuel. Both times when Cas was decidedly not-Cas. Though Dean had to admit now, he wasn't exactly Cas as he knew him. "So how does this whole no-grace thing work?"

"Well I'm practically human." Cas admitted, finishing off his burrito. "I heard angel radio before, when my brothers and sisters were calling out in enough numbers. I haven't heard it since, so I believe my connection to it is very weak."

"And otherwise?"

"I have not yet found any other qualities that I possess that resemble that of an angel's."

Dean frowned. "Sorry, man." He said softly, awkwardly leaning back in the chair. Sitting now, he finally felt the events leading up to this click into place in his mind, and he found himself suddenly exhausted.

"Dean, are you alright?" The former angel paused in eating his burrito to study the hunter properly.

Dean gave his weak obviously-fake grin. "Yeah, of course man."

Cas tilted his head a bit, and lowered his voice. "Dean."

A roll of the eyes greeted Castiel. "I'm fine, Cas. Today was just a long day. Sam got knocked out, you died. Give me a minute to catch my breath, but I'm good."

"I didn't thank you for convincing April to restore me."

"Don't mention it." he offered, uncomfortable with the lie. "Seriously. I'm just glad you're alive and with us. You scared the hell out of me man."

"I'm sorry. That was certainly not my intention."

Dean stood, clapping Cas on the shoulder. "Come on, let's get you set up so you can get some rest. The guest room is next to my room."

The hunter was still shaken by the day's events, but for now he took comfort in the fact that he had a task, and let his instincts to help Cas drown out any intrusive thoughts. One task at a time.

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