Chapter 1 – Fire and Ash
Plot: Ahsoka comes back to the Order before the end of the war for reasons Anakin doesn't know. As the world crashes down around him, as the Jedi Order and Republic fall, the Empire rising from their ashes, as he sees the security recording of Ahsoka kneeling to Sidious, her new master, Anakin knows nothing will ever be the same again.
Author's Note: This is what you get when Revenge of the Sith is made after the Clone Wars... except in character. :') Now happy crying! :D
PS: I think the song Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi really, really fits this.
~ Rivana Rita
Also, this is a part of the Star Wars Playlist Challenge hosted by Riftwalker on ao3. I think it fits. :)
~ Amina Gila
He falls to his knees, denial screaming through his mind, crying out in protest against the image he sees before his eyes. The world around him feels far, far away, even Obi-Wan calling his name. He doesn't know if something is touching him or not and it doesn't much matter.
His padawan. This was his child. She...
"You have done well, my apprentice," Sidious's voice purrs in the background, from the hologram, and that's maybe all that matters. "Perhaps now you will be strong enough." Strong enough for what? He doesn't understand... "But your mission is not yet complete. Go to the Mustafar system and eliminate the Separatist leaders there. Then, the war will be at an end, and we can restore peace to the galaxy."
His padawan's voice. "Yes, Master." The one thing she always said to him. Not...
It feels like something just ripped his heart out.
This is hardly the first time he's seen his yellow-eyed padawan, Anakin reminds himself bitterly.
"Ahsoka is gone," he hears Obi-Wan saying, but it's too far away.
"No!" he yells. "She's not. She can't be. Not her. No. I just got her back!"
**w**
His heart is pounding as he walks through the halls of the Temple again. He barely had time to meet Padme again – for her to tell him that she's pregnant – before Master Windu shooed him off to the Temple. But now. Ahsoka. She's here. She's... grown up. They told him right before his last mission that she was rejoining the Order, for reasons she didn't explain.
They pause, staring at each other, eyes wide, before she runs to him, throwing her arms around his neck, all sense of age and maturity abandoned. He lets himself break down then, for the first time. She's back. His padawan – after everything, she came back.
He clings to her, holding her body tightly against his own. She's bigger now, taller, but she still fits here as much as she always has and will.
"Skyguy," she whispers, choking back a sob. "You came back. I feared the worst."
"It's okay," he promises, rubbing her back. "I'm okay. We're safe." And he wonders how he survived, general of the 501st, without the other third that was their leader. Without the third that made all of them who they are.
He didn't ask her why or what she feared. He should have, and he'll regret that for the rest of his life.
**w**
"Destroyed, the Sith must be," Yoda says, and Anakin shakes his head furiously. He doesn't cry because he can't. It hurts too much.
Obi-Wan shakes him slightly before he seems to finally get the point that Anakin literally cannot respond to him and settles down next to him. He wraps an arm around Anakin's shoulders, pulling him close. "What must we do?" Obi-Wan asks, despite the obvious pain in his voice.
"Go after the Emperor, I will," Master Yoda declares, and Anakin doesn't have the heart to argue. He knows that Palpatine is Sidious, but that's not what hurts him most. That's not what's occupying his entire mind. If he had stayed, this would never have happened...
"After the apprentice, you must go, Obi-Wan."
"Ahsoka would never do this!" Anakin breaks in. Maybe he's crying. He sounds like he is. He doesn't know. Doesn't care.
"I never thought the clones would either, but they did," Obi-Wan replies dismally.
Anakin flinches. "It's not their fault!" he yells. "They're being controlled! I knew something was wrong when Rex shot at me. I was able to get him back to the medbay. To – Fives was right. He was right." I didn't listen to him. I failed him! Just like I did Ahsoka. He was telling the truth, and I – I didn't believe him. The Jedi told me it was nothing, the Chancellor told me it was nothing, but he was my friend. Why didn't I believe him?!
"They were being controlled. It's not their fault. They can't help it. Rex – Rex tried to fight it, but it – the chip Fives was talking about. It was activated and set his brain off. He had orders to kill the Jedi and he turned on me – I don't know. They shot Master Fisto down first. I defended him, of course, and then they turned on me." He squeezes his eyes shut, breathing heavily, as he struggles against the emotions crushing him. He's shaking, body going cold – he's going into shock. Not good. Maybe. He doesn't really care anymore.
"It makes them aggressive," he continues. "It's more that it stops working in calming them or – I don't know. But it was all he could do, even if he knew it was wrong. He didn't want to do it, but I – I was able to get it out. Then, we split up. He didn't want to come here with me."
Something is... wrong with Obi-Wan, from how he almost deflates with a quiet "oh".
"What?" Anakin asks. He would be worried, except he's too tired to be. Too worn.
Ahsoka turned to the Dark Side. Somehow. And he never saw anything...
"I didn't realize it when they turned on me," he replies. "I was able to escape the Star Destroyer – we were on our way back from Mandalore, but the ship crashed. All of them died. I... killed Cody myself."
"Killed him?" Anakin whispers, faintly. His mind screeches to a halt. For some reason, he always thought it would be less likely for Cody to die than Rex, and while there's no question which he was closer to, he knew Cody. They had worked together so many times, side by side, even after Anakin got his own clone legion. They were friends. And now... he's gone, like so many others.
He doesn't want to know this. He doesn't, but he has to know. "Was it fast?"
Obi-Wan looks decidedly uncomfortable at that. "The ship was catching fire and I may have –"
"YOU BURNED HIM TO DEATH?!"
**w**
Blood. Fire. Smoke. Ash... she can't make out anything of it. Only one thing stands out over it all: Anakin. He needs her. She doesn't want to go...
**w**
She awakens with her brother's screams still in her head. She can still see the flames. She can still see Obi-Wan disappearing through the smoke and ash, and she nearly screams with her brother from the pain and rage of all this, of his betrayal.
**w**
She doesn't want to go, but he matters more. He always has... almost always. She won't fail him. Not again.
**w**
"I will go with Obi-Wan," Anakin declares, finally. He still feels faint, disconnected. Distant. But he knows he must focus, or they will take Ahsoka away from him forever, for the second time. He thinks maybe he lost her before, he doesn't know, but he refuses to accept this answer. His padawan may have Fallen, but he will not turn his back on her, no matter what she did. "I can help her. I know I can!"
The Jedi Masters exchange glances. It grates on him, because he knows they've already accepted that Ahsoka is lost. She's not. Ahsoka is still in there, somewhere, and he must find her. He failed her, and it's the least he can do to make it right. It might not bring back anyone she killed, but... he will stop at nothing to get his padawan back.
Nothing.
And maybe that is what he fears.
**w**
First, he had seen Padme dying. Then it faded from that into... something else. He could hear the screams of the dying, the way the Force itself screamed in protest.
And then he sees Ahsoka's blood-soaked body lying on her back, swinging her sabers up to parry... another blue one?
**w**
The atmosphere is as sulfuric and hot as he remembers. It feels of cold. Darkness. Death. When they land on the platform outside the building, Anakin can already sense the death. He can hear their screams long after they're gone, and sometimes, like right now, it's almost maddening. It's worse, because he knows who mercilessly ended their lives.
How could she have done this?
Neither of them speaks. They both know what they must do – though their interests clash to the core. Obi-Wan means to kill. Anakin would rather fall on his own blade than touch his child.
He only wants her to come home.
Between his shock and pain and anger and betrayal, it's the only thing he wants.
"Come with me. We can destroy Sidious together, we can end this, all of this. We can stop it. It's not too late. You might not be my padawan anymore, but I don't care – come back to me," is all he wants to say.
Everything he'll never be able to say.
Not with Obi-Wan hovering over him.
But this time, Anakin doesn't think he cares.
"Can you feel her?" Obi-Wan asks, scanning the platform.
Anakin shakes his head, no. He can sense her darkness, but he can't pinpoint it. The entire planet is dark, and Ahsoka is shielding herself heavily, which makes it extremely difficult to locate. "She might be inside," he answers. His voice sounds odd. Blank. Almost lifeless.
"Be on guard," Obi-Wan warns. "Don't expect a friendly welcome. After what she did, I doubt she will be looking forwards to see us."
He clenches his jaw, holding back a sharp retort. This was his failing. It's his duty to make it right. Ahsoka was his to take care of, and if he failed her, that's entirely on Anakin. No one else. Obi-Wan reaches for his lightsaber as they walk down the steps and towards the building.
Something prickles in the edge of his senses, danger whispering through the Force. They press onwards anyway, refusing to be deterred. They've faced worse, but somehow, it feels the most confusing. The most unexpected. The most dangerous and unpredictable. This, Anakin supposes, is how it feels to be sent out after his padawan. This is how it feels, to be turned against the one person he thought would unconditionally stand by and care for and support him. He's being turned against his other half – that's what they were, two halves of a whole, and he has no idea how he lived so long without her. Maybe that's why he was always so lonely: because something – someone was always missing.
It's like history repeating – like he's stuck in this, over and over. Time and again he's sent out to find his padawan, to bring her back, but will he fail every time? Will he fail this time, too?
Mortis was similar yet different. It wasn't her fault, and he wants to cling to the same hope now, but he knows better.
Together, they step inside the building, sheltering them from the burning hot wind –
Only for a moment.
The Force screams with warning, and Anakin senses something moving.
He whips out his lightsaber on pure instinct, shoving Obi-Wan aside and to parry the blow himself – it was so fast his master barely had time to see it coming.
His heart skips a beat when he sees her for the first time.
When he had seen his blood-soaked padawan in his visions, he thought it was hers. He thought she was dying, not that – that it was the blood of all those she ruthlessly murdered. Her eyes are burned Sithly gold, as fiery as the lava rivers outside. Her blue clothes are stained red in multiple places and singed with black from lightsabers in a few places from the battle.
"Ahsoka," he whispers, shaking.
"Stand back!" she snaps, and her voice is... different. Wild. Lost. How could this have happened to his padawan?! His child? "You will never be safe until he is gone!" She spits it out with such venom, glowering at Obi-Wan with every bit of the heat and fury that makes her a predator.
"What are you talking about?" This wasn't how he expected their meeting to go. It was supposed to be a simple talk and that's it. Not this. Not a wild, violence, fury. Not with Ahsoka trying to murder Obi-Wan for no explicable reason. What happened?
"They committed treason!" she yells. "They're traitors! And he – he is the worst!"
Anakin moves forwards, firmly planting himself in front of Ahsoka. She looks like she's about to tear Obi-Wan to pieces – literally. Rip him apart in all that blood and gore, limb from limb with her bare hands.
"That's not true!" Anakin argues.
"Isn't it?" she hisses, baring her fangs, blue lightsabers glowing in her hands, contrasting with the red and blue and orange covering her body, and her blazing gold eyes. "What did Master Yoda tell you, hmm?" She nearly rolls his eyes at his name, and Anakin winces. She held such respect for him. Where did this come from? How did this happen?
"They wouldn't," he argues, lamely, but he knows the truth.
**w**
"How can you ask this of me?" Anakin demands, raw pain and betrayal clawing their way through him.
"Serve the Jedi, not the Chancellor, you do," Yoda tells him, bluntly. "Serve the Republic, the Jedi do."
"You must," Windu adds, leaning forwards.
"Why are you telling me this now?" Anakin asks. "Why not when the Council was in session?"
"This is not to be in record."
"That's outrageous!" Ahsoka had yelled when Anakin finally broke down later that day and confessed the truth to her. "How can they do this?!"
"All those who have power are afraid to lose it. Even the Jedi," Palpatine had told him later that night, when he asked that Anakin be sent to Utapau.
The Council hadn't wanted him to. Anakin insisted, argued when they offered to send Ahsoka with Master Fisto – both have past knowledge of Grievous. "I know what I need to from them," Anakin had insisted, refusing to back down. He had seen it, the night before, Ahsoka lying on the ground, barely able to stop the other lightsaber from cutting her head off.
Obi-Wan had met his gaze, straight away – he was with Cody on Mandalore, but he was at the meeting anyway. In that moment, Anakin had known – Obi-Wan had no idea what was going on. He wasn't on Coruscant so it wasn't something they could have discussed with him. The mission was too dangerous, too treasonous to risk getting out.
**w**
"Is it what you believe or what you want to believe?" Ahsoka flicks her wrist, swinging her saber around.
"It's what I know." Anakin steps forwards, fearlessly. "Ahsoka. Come with me. We – we don't have to stay here. Don't do this. Don't go down this path." He knows, already, from the way she shakes her head slightly, expression hardening, that his pleas are useless. She won't listen now any more than she ever does, than when she left the Order.
His hand is shaking, and he flicks off his lightsaber, just to get his point across. He doesn't want to fight. He might be willing to defend himself, and Obi-Wan, but he will not fight her. And, he realizes with a sudden flare of certainty, he's willing to fight Obi-Wan, too, if it means keeping her alive and safe. If it means keeping them together.
"Ahsoka, please. Come back home. Don't do this. I don't want to fight you."
"You're not the one I want to fight," she objects, stepping forwards. She's standing only a few feet away from him now, and it makes their height difference glaringly apparent, but he still feels... small. "Don't you see? Skyguy, I did this for you. They were trying to do to you what they did me. I wouldn't let it happen."
Anakin shakes his head, mutely. He refuses to accept that.
She flicks off her right saber and reclips it to her belt, stepping forwards and reaching up, laying a hand on his cheek. It's warm but it burns, knowing how many fell by this hand yesterday, how many of his friends died because of it. "Anakin," Ahsoka says, her voice dipping the slightest amount, the first flicker of life – of the child he raised – in her eyes. For a fleeting moment, he thinks he sees blue, but then it's gone. "You're too trusting. I know what they're capable of. You're too good to see it, but it's true. Look. You have all the proof you need. If I didn't stop them myself, you'd be gone. I wouldn't let that happen."
He pulls away from her, gut twisting. "You did this for me," he whispers, distantly. He can't bear to be close to her, not right now. Force, what has she done? What has he caused? Maybe what's worst is that he can see it – Anakin would have done the same for her. Still would do the same, because Ahsoka was always so light. Bright as a star. The little girl who brought so much good into his life. To everyone's lives. She was so good, but now that's gone, lost with the innocence Anakin remembers she once had.
The girl tilts her head, as if she's not casually shattering his entire worldview. "Yes," she agrees. "You would have done the same for me once. That means more to me than I could ever say."
Anakin shakes his head again, stumbling back. He was right. This was his fault. It wasn't only because he should have done something else, but because of his very existence. He's going to be sick. "If my life will be spared at the blood of a million, I don't want it!"
Ahsoka shakes her head again, reaching out, like she's trying to soothe a disobedient little child. "It's not like that, Anakin. It was right, and your life was on the line. It was a simple choice. I know right from wrong – you taught me that."
"No!" Anakin grits out. "I never would have taught you this was right!"
"You're a traitor to the Jedi and the Republic," Obi-Wan cuts in, sharply. Anakin turns towards him, sharply, startled by the sound of his voice. He has never seen his master so angry before.
Fear surges to life inside him, instincts immediately telling him to run or hide to protect himself.
Except...
It's not Anakin who lashes out, not even from the fear suddenly encompassing him, overwhelming his knowledge that he needs to end this before it explodes into violence.
A Force-shove flings him across the room, and he slams against the wall. It's not hard, but it still is enough to knock him down.
His back aches where it hits the wall, but that is hardly a concern as much as the cry of fury in the background and the sound of clashing lightsabers. Anakin rolls over and pushes himself up. No. This was what he wanted to prevent!
Obi-Wan and Ahsoka are fighting already, in a deadly dance of blue. He has little doubt that Obi-Wan will come out on top – plain and simple. Ahsoka went through the Temple and came out the other end in one piece because she wasn't alone – she'd taken the remaining of the 212th to assist her. The entire 501st was gone to Utapau, with a little assistance of the 212th – and many others were on Mandalore. There weren't that many, but she had still been able to amass a massive number of troops to march on the Temple. Of course, there were also those clones that had their generals still at the temple, but those weren't ones she worked with frequently.
This isn't something his mind could have concocted, even as one of his worst nightmares.
It's a choice between his master and his padawan.
His father and his child – the man who raised him against she who he was sworn to protect.
And they're trying to kill each other.
Rip each other to pieces, like the bodies strewn across the floor.
Obi-Wan is rarely calm when he fights, but now is especially true. Except, instead of enjoying it, all Anakin feels from him is an icy, burning fury, a desire for vengeance. And Ahsoka, Anakin knows as she tries repeatedly to relieve him of his head over and over, expression twisted into a fierce snarl, is thinking the exact same thing. Anyone who interferes will be no more than collateral damage.
Ahsoka backflips to give herself more space, ducking beneath Obi-Wan's lightsaber and using his momentary opening and tries to trip him. It fails... mostly, except he stumbles back overly flashily, and the momentary separation is what Anakin needs to pull out his own blade and jump into the fray, forcibly shoving Ahsoka back when she tries jumping his master again.
"You!" she snarls, breathing hard. Anger, pain, and betrayal flare into the Force around her, and Anakin realizes a moment too late that she's taking this all wrong. "After everything I did for you, you turn your back on me?"
"That's not happening, I swear!" he argues. "I would never do that to you."
"Like you haven't before?" Ahsoka yells. "How could you? You were always so loyal! Or is it only to those who would kill you that you're loyal?"
Anakin nearly flinches under the weight of her anger – she's his child and he really has nothing to fear, but it's a natural reaction when someone is angry, to back away and shrink in on himself, to be invisible. It's especially true now, because he knows she could hurt him in her blind rage right now, even if she'd regret it dearly afterwards.
But in this state, Anakin can't say he'd be certain she would.
"The child you raised, gone she is," Master Yoda had said. Anakin refused to accept it and he still does. He won't give up on her. Not now. He doesn't care what she's done – well, he cares, but Ahsoka is more important.
He starts opening his mouth to protest, but she pulls back and slashes at him repeatedly, with a skill that he doesn't remember her possessing. She's grown in the Underworld, and now, Anakin can't help thinking he doesn't know her at all. He used to think he did, but... he was wrong. So very wrong.
"The Sith are evil," Obi-Wan retorts, "As Jedi, it is our duty to destroy them. Even you."
Ahsoka lets out a wordless scream of pure rage, shoving Anakin back – he lets her, refusing to put up more resistance than necessary, and she knows that – and lunging at Obi-Wan again. Obi-Wan unbalanced her though, quite successfully. She crosses her lightsabers to block a downwards strike, and Obi-Wan catching one of hers and twisting it out of her hands, sending it flying across the room. She stumbles, backflipping away.
Obi-Wan doesn't give her room to breathe, either. He's going for the kill.
Oh Force. He truly is meaning to kill her. Anakin stills entirely, for a moment only watching in growing horror. There's nothing he can do.
Ahsoka jumps backwards, somersaulting onto the table in the middle of the room. Obi-Wan – for all his preaching about high ground – jumps right after.
"Stop!" Anakin yells in protest, but no one is listening. They never do.
Ahsoka ducks around Obi-Wan, trying to attack him from behind, but he blocks her without turning – there's no question that she's outmatched.
He might be angry. He might want to shake her back and forth and knock sense back into his padawan's head, but he will never, never stand and watch as she dies.
He wants to cry, but he can't afford to break down right here.
Obi-Wan kicks her square in the chest, and she goes down with a yelp, skidding a few feet across the table and landing on her back. And, seemingly completely uncaring, he raises his lightsaber, ready to bring it down to –
This is it. His vision. He can see it now, playing out before his eyes.
Ahsoka, her fangs bared in a snarl, lying on her back, clothes soaked with blood as she reaches in vain for her lightsaber. There is no way to describe the pure and utter loathing in her eyes as she looks at the man who was once her friend.
Anakin doesn't think in that moment. He acts.
Igniting his lightsaber, Anakin jumps across the room. He feels oddly numb as his blade clashes against Obi-Wan's. This was everything he feared, and so much more. When he came, he knew a fight with Ahsoka was inevitable. Not with Obi-Wan. He had hoped otherwise, but he should have known.
Anakin tried to talk Obi-Wan down from it, but he refused before. Why would he change that now?
Ahsoka rolls out from between them and disappears to recollect her lightsabers while the other two stare at each other, momentarily stunned.
"Anakin," Obi-Wan says, voice low and sharp. Anakin nearly flinches away. "You know why we came here. If what they say is true – if you are the Chosen One – it is your duty to destroy the Sith. Including her."
"No," Anakin whispers, blinking back tears for the first time. "I can't. There must be another way out."
"We don't have time for this –"
"Or what?" Anakin asks. He wonders, darkly, how many others in his family he'll be forced to fight. Obi-Wan, Ahsoka, Rex... who's next? Who's left to be next? "You'll turn on me, too? You'll consider me evil too and try to kill me?"
Obi-Wan shoves him back, and looks away, taking a moment to consider it seriously for the first time. When he turns back to Anakin, his eyes are burning with anger again. "It is my duty to stop her," he replies, firmly. "Your attachment is clouding your judgement. I will do what I must."
He feels faint. Disconnected. This can't be happening.
"Traitor," Ahsoka spits out disgustedly, stalking in a half-circle in the background. "You will die with the rest of your Order, and anyone who stands with you."
Obi-Wan attacks her again, and Anakin jumps back to the floor, still feeling completely... numb. He doesn't know what to do. He's completely torn between them, between Dark and Light, between his master and his padawan, and they've both made it abundantly clear they're willing to go through him for the other. It hurts so much, it stopped hurting, and now all he feels is an overwhelming sensation of nothing.
Ahsoka flicks out a hand, trying to Force-shove Obi-Wan back, but he responds in kind, throwing one back at her. Anakin ducks aside as it backlashes, flinging both of them to opposite sides of the room onto the control panels. Something breaks and starts sparking.
He would be truly, severely tempted to slam his head onto something if this wasn't more heart wrenching than irritating.
Ahsoka flings herself to her feet again, jumping across the room and trying to behead Obi-Wan before he gets up, but he uses the Force to shove her lightsabers aside... into the control panel again.
This time, it destroys the shields to the building.
With those gone, it leaves the structure entirely unprotected to the lava rivers surrounding it, which means it'll be going down fast.
Ahsoka pulls back and makes a dash for the door. Anakin lets her go, though suddenly, he wonders if she was intentionally leading them that direction.
Instead of pursuing, Anakin turns back to Obi-Wan. They look at each other in silence, no words going between them. They're relationship is damaged, possibly irreparably, and they don't have time to act on that now. Despite that, they're still... the team, and they have a mission, even if their objectives clash entirety.
"Let's go," Obi-Wan says finally, and they step outside together.
**w**
One thing her vision never showed was how hot the planet is, how deadly. Obi-Wan was a coward to fight him here in a place where he fought the surroundings more than his own master, but a coward those Jedi have always been.
Ahsoka stalks through the building, scanning the hiding spots, the walkways, scouring for any structure she can use to her advantage. She's not arrogant enough to think she could win against Obi-Wan on single combat... or any other Jedi who is sent here to eliminate her.
Ah. That's the perfect spot. He'll never see it coming... assuming she gets here fast enough.
**w**
The outside air washes over them again when they leave the building, as not and uncomfortable as it was before. Anakin is well accustomed to heat, but the temperature is high enough he can barely breathe out here.
"Ahsoka, you don't have to do this," Anakin pleads as he lays eyes on her again. "There has to be a way out of this."
She shakes her head slightly, hands tightening on her lightsabers. "I'm sorry, Anakin. I love you. I always will."
He should have known that was an apology for what was about to happen.
Ahsoka turns around, jumping onto the beams that lead off the balcony.
Obi-Wan follows.
Quite honestly, Anakin isn't sure what to do. He doesn't want to fight them, but he needs to stop them from killing each other, and he doesn't think anything he does short of knocking them unconscious will stop them now. Before he can decide, the duo start fighting again. Ahsoka shoves their blades down, stabbing the beam they're standing on. For a fleeting moment, Anakin thinks she's gone mad but when the entire thing jerks, they stumble apart from each other, and Ahsoka flings her shoto towards the end of the beam closer to Anakin, and he notices a moment too late that's the only part of the structure connected to the balcony.
Anakin darts forwards, panic surging through him. There's nothing below them but the lava river, and nothing to stop them from falling into it.
Obi-Wan sees it coming though, barely in the nick of time, and jumps over her head, promptly returning the favor.
"Ahsoka!" Anakin screams, nearly drowning out her startled shriek as she falls.
For the second time in the past day, his mind totally blanks out and shuts down from the shock of everything that's happening. She's – she's gone. His child is gone. He didn't move fast enough to save her, just like his mother.
And Obi-Wan killed her.
His memory of the next... he's not sure how long has completely blanked out. The next thing he remembers is leaning against the wall, Obi-Wan hovering over him.
"You," he chokes out.
"I'm sorry, Anakin." It's lame and his master knows that, but it doesn't stop the swell of rage, but he hardly has the strength to be angry.
"Sorry," Anakin repeats. He both sounds and feels completely dead. "Sorry doesn't bring the dead back to life. You murdered my padawan." He stares into the molten river, suddenly wondering how it would've felt to fall into that. It would have been agonizing to be sure, but would it have been fast?
"Here," Obi-Wan says, dropping a hand to his shoulder. "You might want this."
Anakin glances down. He's holding Ahsoka's lightsaber – the one she built herself.
He gasps quietly, reaching up to take it.
It's the second time that it's all he has left of her, and this time, forever.
It's the second time that he's taken it out of fire and ash.
For the first time, he lets himself cry freely, holding her lightsaber. The weapon that was used to destroy the life it's wielder worked for.
His padawan is gone forever.
**w**
"This place never changed much," she mutters aloud to herself. She's surrounded by nothing except the lingering presence of her old master. She shouldn't have expected any different – he never changed much.
She paces across the quarters her new master granted her – remembering. It was from a past life. It doesn't matter anymore, but everything reminds her of him. She's here because of him. She's alive because of him and his training alone. She survived through sheer willpower and will find him again the same.
She's filled with a surge of betrayal at the thought of his memory. He had been supposed to care for her, but he didn't. It wasn't an intentional failure by any means, but it was a betrayal all the same. Even after knowing everything she was willing to do for him.
She fingers the gold fighter model briefly with the faintest hint of a fleeting smile. Gold was always his favorite color. And then her grip tightens over it, the sudden urge to break something building inside her. Her old master betrayed her. But then she remembers how much he loved it and how much time she spent in here when she was younger.
She sets it back down, dropping herself onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling.
She misses him so badly it almost hurts physically. It's what you get when you leave the only person you truly love behind, she decides bitterly. If she hadn't left, this would never have happened. She dug this hole for herself.
He's still out there though. Their paths will cross again someday. Maybe. Until then, she'll have to wait. It's nothing but a dream, as she looks to the stars, wondering.
No. He left her. He's gone. He's part of her past... just as the name Ahsoka Tano is.
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