This is so ridiculous. After standing there for what feels like an eternity I decide I can't do this shit sober and head straight to the kitchen.
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"Hows it going babe?" Britt smiles touching my shoulder
I sigh "Why am I here Britt, remind me again"
"You know why San" she says smiling softly
We lean against the counter and look out at the backyard at what used to be mine and I see her laughing, flirting and carrying on talking to everyone like I'm not even here. Like it isn't breaking my heart all over again.
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I exhale lining up 5 shots, taking 3 immediately, "We both know finishing those wouldn't be a good idea San" Britt stops me from taking the last 2. I exhale putting my hands on the counter.
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"Hey ma, you good, need anything?" Izzy says hugging me
"I'm good Mijo but thank you" I wink at him
"Oh look, what a surprise, you're drinking, is it again or still this time?" Nat says rolling her eyes at me
"Stop. Leave her alone Nat" Izzy says
"Why? This is all her fault anyways let her watch, enjoy the show mom" Nat points towards the window as she leaves the kitchen.
I shake my head putting it down, what can I possibly say to that.
"Wow!" I hear lifting my head "Okay who had 4:15 for Santana to start drinking? Anyone? Anyone?" Stacey laughs with her hand on the small of Quinn's back as they walk into the kitchen, some people outside laugh and I push off the counter stepping towards her.
"Santana please, not today" Quinn says putting her hand on my chest gently rubbing it to calm me down like she used too, quickly catching herself she removes her hand.
"Britt why am I here?" I turn towards her "Can we go now please?" I plead with her, she nods "Sure babe, let me go grab my purse"
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"Hey everyone it's time for presents" Sam announces as everyone gathers, I stay back in the door frame
Everyone ohhh's and ahhh's as she opens gift after gift then I notice she's finally reached mine.
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"Omg, it's just like your grandma's" Rachel says "It's beautiful Quinn! It must have cost a fortune, who's it from? I wonder how they found it?"
She looks at me smiling and those eyes pierce right through me... But our moment doesn't last long.
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Clink clink
"Can I have everyone's attention please? Quinn and I have been together for 2 wonderful years" she smirks at me raising her glass, I scoff and roll my eyes
"Quinn, I love you so much" she gets on one knee "Would you do me the honor or marrying me?"
Silence falls and it feels like all eyes are on me...Nat cries into my shoulder and Izzy walks away. After what feels like an eternity I hear the one word that destroys me.
"Yes" Quinn whispers kissing her as she puts the ring on her finger.
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And now my shit show life is complete. I decide that's my fucking cue, I kiss Nat's head, grab the bottle of bourbon, cheers them and walk out, reaching my car, I open the door and toss the bottle in
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"Wait Santana" I turn around
"I can't believe you remembered, Thank you for my gift and for coming, I'm sorry you had to see that I didn't know she was going to do that, today" she hugs me and I close my eyes breathing in the wonderful scent that's uniquely her.
"You're so welcome, I know I fucked up everything else up in our life but at least give me a little credit for knowing my wife"
"Ex. Your ex wife" she reminds me I nod
"Right. Well, Thanks for that reminder but I have to go, hope you had a great birthday Luce and congratulations again" with that I speed away
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-2am-
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"I don't want to hear anything from either one of you" I say slamming the door to my house open
"Well tough shit, you're going to listen to us this time, Santana!" They follow me to the kitchen, I exhale reaching for the bottle of jack, taking a drink.
"You got arrested! For being and driving around drunk! You're still drunk now!"
"What did either of you honestly expect? You got engaged right in front of me and you left me there!" I point between them, throwing my hands in the air
Britt starts "I understand Sanny and I'm so sorry you had to see that but you need to think of Nat and Izzy"
Quinn nods "I am so disappointed in you Santana"
I laugh "Britt quick take a picture, perfect Quinn is disappointed in fuck up Santana again, what a fucking surprise" Then I snap finally registering what my best friend just said "Britt, I always think of everyone else! That's why I signed those damn divorce papers for her, that's why I bought perfect Quinn her own house, that's why I fucking pay double in child support!" I deflate "I'm always fucking thinking of everyone else!"
I sob as I look at Quinn
"But What about me Lucy?" I throw the bottle of jack against the wall
Brittany grabs me by the waist before I reach her,
"Look at me, what the fuck about me? I'm fading into the background and you don't care, no one seems to care. Who the fuck thinks about me Lucy?"
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Quinn says as she turns and walks out "No one, It's called Karma, Santana, sucks doesn't it"
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I crumble to the floor
"I know San, it's gonna be okay, let it out" Britt wraps her arms around me as I sob
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"I just don't want to be here anymore Britt, I don't want to feel this anymore"