Chapter One: Blood Red
Drip. Drip. Drip. Inside these four dark walls, all Kakashi had to accompany him was the sound of the constant leaking from above. The persistent noise was reassuring in a way, confirming that Kakashi hadn't completely lost his mind yet.
Then again, was he really the best judge of his own sanity?
The chains rattled noisily, the sharp noise of metal clinking against metal making him wince. Despite the noise sounding like nails scratching against chalkboard to his ears, the noise was sharp and grating in comparison to the soft pit patter of the leak in the corner, so Kakashi scooted himself over to the wall. His shoulder and head rested against the concrete wall.
Raising a hand, his index finger dug into the concrete. Raw bloody finger picked at the concrete bit by bit to etch in the tally for the number of days since Kakashi had been held captive. Each attempt to dig into the wall sent a sharp stab of pain shooting up his left hand.
Kakashi kept at it. The pain was good. The pain jerked him back to reality in times when hallucinations sought to overtake his consciousness. Kakashi was stubborn, unrelenting. He fought with every last dredge of his strength.
Day thirty-seven and Kakashi still haven't lost the fight.
The moment he did, Kakashi would die. The prospect of extracting information from him was what kept Kakashi alive for so long. No matter what they tried on him – genjutsu or physical torture – Kakashi hadn't uttered a single word. In the beginning, the binding seal on his tongue kept him from revealing Konoha's secrets. Even when the enemy found a way to remove the seal, Kakashi kept his mouth firmly shut.
Thirty-seven days and they hadn't managed to crack him open.
Their patience was running thin. Perhaps one day, they would just snap and kill him.
Kakashi would take all of his secrets with him to the grave.
Day thirty-nine. Kakashi drifted in and out of consciousness. His entire body felt numb. The latest torture genjutsu they tried on him had been the heaviest hitter of them all, dredging up unwanted memories of his childhood and forcing him to relive them in an endless loop. No matter what Kakashi did, the outcome was always the same. There was always that voice in the background, coaxing him to give up information in exchange for release from the vicious cycle.
Eventually, Kakashi had given up fighting the loop. Instead, he allowed the same events to pan out again and again to the point where all of the stabbing pain simply ebbed away to be replaced by numbness.
The enemy was the first to concede, undoing the genjutsu. Whether out of frustration or due to lack of chakra, Kakashi didn't know.
He felt numb. The genjutsu twisted his mind in ways that Kakashi couldn't even begin to comprehend. For the next few hours, Kakashi found himself prone to bouts of insanity. Sometimes it was the sudden evil cackle that escaped from his dry lips. Other times, his lips would spread into a wide grin as he imagined mercilessly tearing through an entire squadron of enemy shinobis.
The craziest times were when Kakashi laid utterly still. And dreamed. Dreamed of him dominating the entire shinobi world. Dreamed of him banishing all evil. Dreamed…that his father was still alive.
Dreamed of the perfect world. Kakashi would linger there for a little bit, but not for too long. He'd stay there to relish in the happiness, to bask in the comfort, to soak in the joys. It was the type of dream where it was so easy to lower his defenses and simply succumb to it, but Kakashi never did. Every time Kakashi found himself falling too deep, he mustered the willpower to yank himself out of it.
Dreaming of the perfect world…it was a major flag to Kakashi that he'd let the hallucinations in again.
There was no such thing as perfection. No such thing as eternal happiness or joy or comfort.
Only grief.
Pain.
And suffering.
When they left him alone for an entire week – or what felt like a week since it was hard to tell time when there wasn't a single stream of sunlight in this dank room – Kakashi wondered if they were finally fed up with him. Kakashi contemplated if they were plotting their final plan to extract information, and if it failed, they would simply allow him to die. No more haphazard healing from incompetent medics. No more reining themselves in before the final blow.
Maybe this time, they would follow through with their threat to break every single one of his fingers; they'd only broken two last time. Maybe this time, they would follow through with casting their genjutsu on him for multiple days and nights, until his mind shattered. Maybe this time…was the final time.
The corner of his lips tilted upwards into a soft smile.
Maybe Kakashi would finally be free of this endless hell.
It was day fifty when they finally came back. From the moment the damned Iwa nin opened his mouth, Kakashi knew they were going to try mental torture on him again. After roughing him up just a little, the first layer of genjutsu was casted upon him.
Kakashi allowed himself to be pulled into the trance. He would indulge them a little, toy around with them by pretending the genjutsu worked on him. Every time, Kakashi would end up saying something inconsequential. It would always result in a kick to the stomach or a right hook to his jaw, but Kakashi relished in their frustrations. The blossoming pain served as a good reminder too.
It was the only thing that anchored him to reality.
Blood dribbled from the corner of his mouth. Kakashi still found the energy to chuckle light-heartedly at his own joke. His bout of humor was rewarded with another kick to the stomach. All of the air was knocked out of him, turning his chuckles into gasps for air. The Iwa nin's eyes narrowed at him, fists grabbing a handful of his hair to pull his face closer to him. Their foreheads rested against each other, noses so close they almost touched.
"I'll get answers out of you," the Iwa nin stated harshly. "I'll be the one to break you."
And then Kakashi was pulled into the genjutsu once more. Except this time, it was different.
Kakashi found himself walking in darkness. Hushed voices ricocheted off of the walls at such speed that the dialogue overlapped each other making it incomprehensible. Kakashi turned in every direction, hoping to pinpoint the source of the voices, but it was practically impossible with the echoing effect layered on top of it.
If he listened intently enough, Kakashi could catch a word here and there. Unfortunately, Kakashi wasn't interested in hearing what they had to say. This was simply another figment of his imagination, another way for his mind to play tricks on him.
Another tactic the Iwa nin tried to use to drive him insane.
Kakashi already perched precariously on the brink of it.
One moment, an assortment of garbled dialogue filled his ears, and then the next, everything went silent. Kakashi perked up, eyes scanning the vicinity for any signs of danger.
There was nothing.
The silence didn't last for long. The voices picked up again, only this time, Kakashi could make out every single word.
Who is your spy? An unfamiliar voice. I thought we had an agreement. Why is there another rat in our ranks?
You are working too slowly. The war is dragging out for too long. Danzo. That was Danzo's voice. Kakashi could recognize it from anywhere.
And what? You thought stealing our strategic plan was going to help that? The Tsuchikage is enraged that there is a traitor among us. There is no way that he will concede to a ceasefire now!
What if I disclose the rat's identity?
What?
That's what your Kage wants, isn't it? I'll give you the name and you get me the ceasefire treaty. If not, then we'll act accordingly to the plan that we stole. I'm sure that you're smart enough to figure out which is the better option.
…you would betray one of your own like that? I thought all Konoha shinobis preached camaraderie.
He's merely a pawn of war. Sometimes, pieces need to be sacrificed to win the war.
That was the last line of dialogue that Kakashi registered before the world tilted on its axis, a wave of dizziness washing over him. After recovering from the abrupt nauseating feeling, Kakashi found himself out of the genjutsu.
Or was he not? Was this just another layered trick to get him to speak?
"Haven't you always wondered why we were able to catch you?" the Iwa nin drawled, pacing back and forth in his cramped cell. His right foot kicked at a small pebble, sending it flying across the room and ricocheting off the opposite wall. Kakashi let out a resigned exhale – what more did he want from him?
Just end his misery.
"You were able to sneak into our ranks and work your way up to chunin status. You even became one of the Tsuchikage's most trusted aides. To achieve all of that in three years is quite impressive. You would have been the last person we suspected."
His teeth gnawed at his bottom lip. The Iwa nin was goading him into speaking. Kakashi refused.
"Your beloved leader was the one who sold you out."
Kakashi raised his head, meeting the Iwa nin's gaze in an apathetic manner. "And?"
The nin raised his hand, grabbing the front of Kakashi's soiled shirt. He shook him violently, the sound of the metal clinking from the movement of the chains ringing uncomfortably in his ears. With every shake, his back collided against the wall. A stabbing sensation shot throughout his backside as old wounds reopened and the pain flared to life.
"Why are you being so tight-lipped? Why are you still protecting a village that betrayed you? What have they done to deserve your loyalty?"
Still, Kakashi didn't speak. It was just another tactic to get him to crack under the emotional pressure; Kakashi had learned all about it when he underwent a week long of torture interrogation tactics training.
And that included tactics to not succumb to any of their baits.
"You're just a pawn!" The man was practically shouting in his face. "Easily dispensable. Easily replaced. Discarded when there's no longer any use for you. Look at how easily Danzo gave up your name – you weren't even worth a fight." The man threw his head back and chortled in a maniacal manner.
His voice dropped to a mere whisper. "And what good was that? Iwa and Konoha still haven't signed the peace treaty. Our Tsuchikage refuses to concede. You know what that means? Your sacrifice was for nothing."
"Nothing," the Iwa nin repeated, to hammer home his point. "It's amusing to me how you can remain so loyal to a village that treats you like scum. You devoted three years of your life to being an undercover spy for Konoha only to be sold out at Danzo's convenience. I do suppose that it's much easier for you to be killed than to summon you home, I guess…"
A tumultuous feeling churned in his stomach. A buzzing noise filled his ears. Kakashi watched the Iwa nin's lips move, saying so many things yet every single word was drowned out by the white noise. Now that he was no longer listening, the entirety of his brain power went towards replaying the conversation over and over again.
A pawn of war.
Pieces need to be sacrificed.
Why are you still protecting a village who betrayed you?
That was a good question. The worst part was…Kakashi didn't have an answer for that. Sure, he accepted the mission knowing the risks that he was taking. Sure, he recognized the possibility that he wouldn't make it home alive. Sure, working undercover was extremely dangerous and risky…
But the thought of knowing that an entire village was counting on his success propelled Kakashi to exceed the mission requirements. All Kakashi was tasked to do was work his way into their ranks and be stationed at one of their posts. No one asked him to become one of the Tsuchikage's most trusted aides. No one asked him to steal important military documents from the Kage's library.
No, they didn't ask him to do any of this, but still.
Kakashi expected at least the basic courtesy of not selling him out.
A lone tear escaped from the corner of his right eye.
"What did you say?" Kakashi uttered, voice low and threatening. A grin stretched out across the Iwa nin's lips, delighted that he was the one who was getting close to tearing down Kakashi's mental barriers.
That arrogance wouldn't last for long. The smirk would be wiped off his face soon enough.
"I said, you're worthless. A discardable pawn. A good for nothing brat." He practically spat out each word. The feeling in his stomach continued to churn, the burning rage reaching higher and higher…
"Look at what you have done. You thought you were making everything better, thought that you could bring peace to Konoha, but you did nothing except intensify the war. Everything is your fault."
There was no way that the Iwa nin would have known about his father, but his mind couldn't help but automatically associate those words to his father's circumstances. To dredge up the awful memories of the vicious things that the villagers said about him. It reminded Kakashi once more of the very reason that prompted him to agree to this mission.
And with the same words hurled back at him – when he had done nothing but rectify his father's mistake – it made Kakashi's blood boil. His fingers curled up tightly by his side as a flare of indignation lit his entire body on fire. Kakashi's head snapped upwards, eyes glaring menacingly at the Iwa nin.
His killing intent leaked into the air. A red haze clouded over his vision, eyes locked onto the man in front of him. Sensing for the first time that something was about to go utterly wrong, the arrogant smirk had fallen off of his face. He took a trembling step backwards, hands clasped together to pull him into another genjutsu.
He succeeded in doing so for only two seconds before Kakashi broke out of it with such ferocity that it knocked the enemy nin off of his feet. The killing intent filled the entire room, the invisible force pressing down onto the shinobi. He let out a strangled gasp, arms flailing wildly to fight off the force.
Despite that, the Iwa nin still mustered enough energy to hurl one last round of insults at Kakashi. "You're a worthless piece of shit! Everything you have done made the village worse!"
The Iwa nin's lips were still moving by the time Kakashi allowed his rage-filled adrenaline course through the entirety of his body. The last thing he distinctly registered was the sound of the metal chains snapping from its hold on the wall…
Before everything went red.
Blood red.
Ten year old Kakashi pressed his ear against the wall to make out the words to their hushed conversation. Danzo had brought Kakashi to the Hokage's office, citing that he had a mission for him to complete. Hiruzen had taken one look at the mission scroll that Danzo offered and had kindly asked Kakashi to leave the room.
Although Hiruzen asked, his tone left no room for negotiation. So Kakashi found himself leaving the Hokage's office, the two Anbu standing guard on each side of the door automatically moving to shut the massive double doors. After doing so, they returned to their respective positions.
Kakashi wouldn't be getting past them anytime soon, so he opted to wander. His wandering took him to the meeting room next door, where Kakashi could make out faint trails of conversation. Dragging a chair from the center of the room, Kakashi placed it by the wall before using his hands to climb on top of it.
And then he pressed his ear against the wall, hoping to make out the words to their hushed conversation. The thickness of the walls hardly lended itself to eavesdropping, but Kakashi could make out just enough sentence fragments to understand the basic gist of their conversation.
They were arguing over whether or not they wanted to assign him to this mission. The mission…that Kakashi still didn't have a single idea about. Hiruzen protested adamantly against the idea, while Danzo kept spewing out reasons for why Kakashi was the perfect fit for the mission.
The only two words he caught of the next reasoning was something that sounded suspiciously like "a child." What did his age have to do with anything? Did this mission lend itself well to those who were younger? Perhaps, his young age would help him to blend it better?
Kakashi's mind scrambled to put the pieces together based on what he could hear, but it wasn't until the words "repent…father's mistakes" did realization dawn on him. Everything made sense now. Why Danzo fervently pushed him towards taking the mission. Why Hiruzen wouldn't relent.
That was all Kakashi needed to hear for him to hop down from the chair and burst out of the meeting room. His sudden appearance drew the attention of the two Anbu guards. The one closest to him stepped forward, lifting his arm to block the entrance to the Hokage's office. Kakashi sprinted towards the guards. Their voices piled on top of each other, warning him to back off or they would be forced to use drastic measures.
Kakashi wasn't listening. His mind was hyper focused on the double doors, the only obstacle that was left between him and the debate about how fit he was for this mission.
One step away from ramming directly into the guard's arm, Kakashi dropped down to the floor. His momentum skidded him across the rough and coarse carpet. His elbow nicked the harsh fiber, a burning sensation blossoming all throughout his arm. Yet that didn't stop Kakashi from hopping to his feet and literally kicking the door open.
Hiruzen and Danzo paused mid-argument upon his entrance. The Anbu guard caught up to him, hands grabbing him by the shoulder to usher him out of the Hokage's office. A bunch of apologies escaped the Anbu's lips.
Hiruzen waved off his apology before giving him the hand sign to stand down. Reluctantly, the Anbu released his grasp on Kakashi. Stepping backwards, he bowed down to the Hokage before resuming his post by the door.
Hiruen nodded towards the doors. Kakashi understood and moved to close the door. The doors closed with a noisy creaking sound. Positioning himself in the middle of the room, Kakashi lowered one knee to the ground. Head bowed, Kakashi began to speak.
"I'm sorry for barging in, but I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. I wish to give my input, Hokage sama."
"You may." Hiruzen beckoned him to stand up, but Kakashi ignored it.
"I want to go on that mission." Direct and straight to the point. Out of his peripheral vision, Kakashi spotted Danzo shooting Hiruzen a look, one that practically said, "Told you." Hiruzen pressed his lips tightly together as he took a deep breath to compose himself.
"Do you even know what this mission entails?"
Kakashi shook his head. "I don't. However, I'm willing to accept any mission that will clear the Hatake's name."
Hiruzen let out a sharp exhale. "There is nothing to clear, Kakashi. Your father made the choice that he believed to be correct and I don't condemn him for it. Beyond that, you and your father are two different people. His actions don't reflect onto you."
"You may not scorn him, but the rest of the village does," Kakashi told him, unable to keep his voice from quivering. "We may be different people, but that doesn't stop them from associating me with my father. Do you know why I started to wear a mask? It's so that I can hide the fact that I look like a carbon copy of my father. Even so, the hair color is enough for their hatred to be directed at me."
"For something that I had no control over," Kakashi added in a quiet voice. "So if there is anything I can do to rectify my father's mistakes, then I need to take the mission. Regardless of the risks."
"It's a dangerous mission, Kakashi," Hiruzen stated darkly. "Danzo is proposing to send you deep into Iwa territory to serve as our spy. Once you're in, there's no leaving until the end of the war. Of course, there's also the possibility of not being able to leave at all. Going undercover is risky and it's not a risk that I think you should have to bear. Especially not at your age."
"My age can be used to my advantage," Kakashi stated flatly. "I'm a child. I can play the part of a war orphan. They're more willing to trust children. I can work my way up the ranks with the rest of the students."
"You don't have the experience to know how to react when faced with unprecedented situations," Hiruzen countered. "You may be a talented shinobi for your age, but your skills are still lacking for what's needed for this mission."
"Then train me." There was nothing but burning determination shimmering in Kakashi's eyes. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes to go on this mission."
Hiruzen's eyes softened. "The entire village thinks your father's failed mission was the catalyst to the start of the Third Great Ninja War. Going undercover in enemy territory is only one part of the war effort. Even if you do follow through with this, it's nowhere near enough to overturn the village's opinion of your father. You don't have to do this, Kakashi."
His final plea fell on deaf ears.
"I do," Kakashi stated firmly. "Even if it's not enough to overturn the village's opinion, it's the little contributions that I make to slowly shift their outlook bit by bit."
In hindsight, it was merely wishful thinking on his part. From the looks of it, Hiruzen seemed to think so too but ultimately chose to have said nothing to dispel his naive notion. On the other hand, pride shone in Danzo's eyes as he watched his best protege insist on undertaking the mission.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
One simple word sealed his fate. Locked in his future that he would never be welcomed back to Konoha. That he was destined to die on this mission. Yet against all odds, Kakashi engaged in a deathmatch with fate and came out on top as the victor.
When Kakashi opened his eyes again, he was greeted with the sight of red.
Blood red.
Blood puddled around his feet, the crimson liquid seeping between the cracks of his toes and staining the tips of his toenails red. Blood. Why was there so much blood?
As if on cue, a droplet of blood fell from the tips of his hair. Mechanically, his hand reached up to touch that strand of hair. The only inkling of his original hair color as the rest had turned into a dark brown shade. Yet even the silver had been tainted, mixed in with the bloodshed to form a rusty, red-ish hue.
When Kakashi finally gathered the courage to look up, all he saw was bodies. Slowly turning in a three hundred and sixty degree arc, his glassy eyes took in the sight of mangled bodies. Skewered bodies for miles to see. Limbs detached. Gaping holes in the middle of their chests. Glassy, wide eyes that stared back at him in an accusatory manner. Mouths parted, a trail of dried blood already crusting at the corner of their mouths.
His hand trembled. Slowly, Kakashi raised it, holding it out in front of him. Somewhere along the way, the bottom half of his sleeve had been torn. From elbow down, his bare arm was on display for the world to see, but instead of his normal pale complexion, everything was red.
Bloody red.
Streaks of dried blood marred the length of his skin. Although Kakashi didn't have a single recollection of what happened, he knew exactly what happened. The tingling feeling that zipped up and down the entirety of his right arm told him as much.
Numbly, Kakashi took a step back, almost tripping over a stray limb in the process of doing so. And then he took another. And then another.
When Kakashi heard the sound of bones crunching beneath his feet, a nauseous feeling ripped through him. And Kakashi couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't stand being here, standing in the middle of a clearing that he had annihilated.
Spinning on the heels of his feet, Kakashi bolted.
A/N: Hi, welcome to this story!
I'm super excited to share this story with you - it's been a plot bunny for me for many months now and I always liked the idea of Kakashi being a badass Akatsuki leader. For those of you who came for the Itachi tag, don't worry! He will be appearing in the second arc of the story, which will come in about 6 chapters.
I hope you enjoy reading and let me know your thoughts. Until next time! :)
-MM