"Love fades. Mine has."

Those words refused to leave me. They had been bouncing around my head for the last seventy two hours, all day and all night. There was no one I could talk to who would understand how painful those four words were to me. All of my friends were wrapped up in their own issues and heartbreak. It left me feeling like I was drowning.

After everything I had done to return Dimitri to me, it still wasn't enough. His soul had been freed from being Strigoi, but it still hadn't fully come back to him. I wasn't sure if it ever would. Instead, I get to watch half of the man I knew submerge himself in guilt, shame, and misery. He didn't deserve the cold looks of fear shot at him by moroi and guardians alike. I wanted nothing more than to help him see he was given a second chance.

But he didn't want that. He didn't want me, and I had to respect that. Even if it left me feeling lost, I couldn't chase after him anymore. Not after knowing his love had faded.

I took a deep breath as I stared at myself in the mirror, splashing cold water on my face as a brash knock echoed around my room. I made no move to get the door. I didn't want to see anyone, my friends included. I didn't want them to tell me everything was going to work out fine. I just wanted to sit here in my room and try my hardest not to think about anything.

It was hard to drown with my mind empty.

Another knock sounded around my small living quarters, louder and more insistent than the first. I started wiping my face off as I responded, "Just a minute!" There was apparently no escaping the person on the other side.

"Rose, it's me, open up."

I groaned at the sound of his voice. I hadn't spoken to Adrian for a week, not since I broke up with him. I wondered why he was here sounding so frantic as I walked to let him inside. I had barely cracked the door open when he pushed past me into my living space. He wasted no time as he ran to my closet, pulling out everything he could get his hands on.

I was stunned momentarily, but I soon realized something was really wrong for Adrian to be acting like this.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Ivashkov!" I screeched at him.

"You have to leave, now. Trust me. Where's your bag?" He asked, never stopping his motions.

"Look, I realize we're in a kind of awkward stage in our relationship... whatever that may be now... but you don't really have the right to kick me out of Court, even if your great aunt is the Queen."

"Rose, she is exactly why you have to leave, and why it has to be right now. I'm not sure how long we have before they come and get you," Adrian responded in a breathless voice. He found my duffle stashed under the bed and started shoving the contents of my closet into it.

"Adrian, slow down, I have no idea what you're talking about! Just explain and we can go from there," I said as I grabbed his hands, pulling him to sit on my bed.

"Tatiana is sending guards here as we speak. She's pulling you out of the running to be Lissa's guardian. She has another assignment for you. If you don't leave now Rose, there will be no escaping it. She will send you and the others off without a second thought. I can't let that happen to you."

Adrian was frantic now as I took a second to look him over. His hair was disheveled and he was breathing heavily, like he had run all the way here from seeing Tatiana. His eyes were bloodshot but I could tell he hadn't been drinking or smoking. His words started to unravel in my mind and he shot me a look of pure fear. Although I was still confused I was willing to trust him on this. I got up from the bed and started to move with him, heading to the bathroom to grab a few more things.

"Okay, what's this other assignment? What does Tatiana have planned for me?" Adrian's face looked grim.

"She wants to put together a strike team. The guardians believe Belikov's information is credible. So that means some guardians are going on the offensive. She thinks if you guys can neutralize the leaders, the large-scale attacks will slow down until we can find a way to deal with them completely."

I paused. What Adrian was saying made perfect sense to me. Why wouldn't we go after the Strigoi, especially when we have information about their plans and operations like we never have before? We had thought for so long Strigoi didn't work together in large groups, and the attacks had proven that we were wrong. I knew firsthand that Dimitri did have quite a bit of inside knowledge. Could this help keep our world more secure?

"Adrian... that's actually not a bad idea," I looked at him sheepishly as I spoke. He turned on me, eyes blazing.

"This will kill you, Rose. There is no way out until every single one of the most dangerous Strigoi are killed. Even if by some miracle you manage to take care of everyone on Belikov's list, you won't be the same Rose," He explained to me.

It didn't take me very long to think of my answer. I tried to weigh the risks in my head, but I kept coming up short. The only thing holding me back was Lissa. I didn't want to leave her, not with the Spirit darkness or with her departing on her new college adventure. I was sure if the two of us had an audience with Tatiana, we could still convince her I was the right woman for the job. Plus, I really didn't want to be stuck with Dimitri indefinitely after our last conversation. I couldn't keep clinging to him if he didn't want me. That was the only thing I felt sure of.

Someone knocked loudly on my door, breaking me out of my thoughts. Adrian jumped up and started pacing, cursing under his breath the entire time. I gave him a small smile as I walked to the door. I knew guardians would be on the other side, ready to take me to the queen. As I opened the door and greeted them, I felt a sense of calm wash over me.

"Guardian Hathaway, Queen Tatiana has requested to see you," Hans Croft, head of guardian affairs, told me from the hallway.

I walked out the door with Adrian following close behind me. He gave my hand a squeeze and nodded, walking with us to the Queen's chambers. With each step I felt my resolve strengthen. I wasn't sure how this conversation would go, especially if I tried to convince her to let me stay with Lissa. The way Adrian looked at me let me know I wouldn't be able to escape my fate.