September 1st: I had Lucy and Leni set me up with a new Instagrim account, they called me lame for just having a Friendbook. I didn't really see the appeal of a social media that's just for pictures but I saw that Bill Buck has an account and he does previews of upcoming Ace Savvy issues and I wanna get in on that. Buck is showing up next month at the Savvy Con but I don't know if me and the Gang will have enough scratch for tickets.
School was pretty benign, there's some election going on for class President but I don't see how that pertains to me.
September 2nd: Me and Clyde played Rusty and Zack in that new VR game Xtreme Badminton Island 2, I thought the jiggle physics were a little too much but Rusty said that only "normies" say stuff like that. I guess being a "normie" is a bad thing? I think he picked up that term on the internet or something from people who live with their parents and don't have a roth IRA. I just think the developers should focus more on gameplay than anime girl boobies.
Lana ate a container of Body Yogurt Leni left in the fridge not knowing that it wasn't for consumption, Lisa suggested to induce vomiting ASAP and now the hallways smells like bananas and stomach acid.
Honestly? The house has smelled worse.
September 3rd: Lana is trying to save up money to pay Leni back for eating her Body Yogurt, Leni said it was an accident and that Lana made an honest mistake. But I commend Lana for trying to right her wrongs.
I let her take over my duties of mowing the lawn for the next 3 month for some extra cash, out of the goodness of my heart. Paid her in advance, she got Luna and Sam to give her a ride to the mall to pick up a replacement. Pretty pricey for fancy lotion.
September 4th: So today I brought my new Macrodum model I finished building (the bright blue MG Vaku suit with the huge sniper rifle) so I could hand it off to Zack so he could finish it for me, his dad has this rad airbrush set. Rusty spotted my journal in my locker and started talking trash about how "keeping a diary is the reason you won't ever get laid, Linc". Like whatever man, dude has never locked lips with nobody. I remember back last year he was spouting all kinds of bs about how he's got this "friends with benefits" named Natalie and got to third base with her, and it turns out that "Natalie" was his piano teacher.
Okay, now that I'm writing this down that sounds all kinds of messed up, I hope that dude was lying (probably oughta talk to the Gang sans Rusty about that to make sure nothing Statutory is going on).
Anyways, who gives a ding dang if I keep a journal. If anything, me taking the time to do some introspection and self reflection makes me way more desirable, I mean I'm not in elementary school anymore, this is middle school, baby. The wild west. And everyone knows the more mysterious and complex of a cowboy you are the cooler you are. At least, I hope so, otherwise I'm doing all this introspection for nothing.
According to Clyde I have this tendency to wax poetically with monologues out of the blue, pretty embarrassing. I write this journal so I have a more "private" outlet for those weird intrusive thoughts. But, whatever. I'm no psychologist, I'm just a 12 year old kid.
September 5th: Sign up sheets for extracurricular activities were passed around at homeroom. The Gang wants to start up a Comicbook and Pop Culture Club so I drafted up the proper forms and got our Pontic Scythian History teacher to sign on as our sponsor, dudes really into Battlehammer. What a dork.
So I turn the sheet in to the Vice Principal and he's all "We already have a Anime and Manga Club" and I explain to him the nuanced differences between the two and after the third hour he finally breaks and says it's all good so long as I get the "okay" from the Anime and Manga Club. Apparently it's headed by Lynn's ex-boyfriend Dexter. I didn't even know she had a boyfriend. That's straight up bonkers.
September 6th: Me and Stella gave the A&M club a little visit, she insisted tagging along because apparently I "come on a little too strong", whatever that means. They meet up above the auditorium in an empty room that apparently used to be a prop storage room but after Luan did that Sarin Gas Scare April Fools "joke" this year she got the Royal Woods County Commissioners Court to fund an external theater for the public. Real swanky, it has chandeliers in the lobby. They do bingo nights on Wednesdays, last week Pop Pop won a 2004 Duick ElSabre and he taught me how to do donuts in the parking lot. I got vomit on the dash, but Pop Pop didn't get mad at me. I owe him an air freshener.
Anyways, the place was filled with these dudes who looked and smelled like they were really into the Muscle Fish competitive scene. A pretty good 50/50 split of dudes and chicks though, I gotta give them props for that. As soon as I announced my name the place got dead quiet, apparently they know some of my sisters. Dexter gave us the okay so long as we don't poach their funding. I didn't even know we got a budget for making a club, that's wild. We watched an episode of Card Caper Ginko with them to be nice, I remember Lori being pretty into the show. Saw her name on a photo listing her as a founding member of the A&MC alongside Carol. That's pretty wild.
September 7th: After going through all the proper channels we were able to secure a budget of 500 dollars a month, the PTA was a little standoffish about shaking hands but as soon as Luna sang that song about how pop culture influences society or whatever they were all for it. I owe her a favor now, though.
Stella and Liam have this idea of making a "zine" for the C&PCC as a way to get more money. "Zine" is short for "magazine", apparently Zines used to be a big deal before the internet. We could probably get away with charging 3 bucks a pop or something. Maybe we can do showings of movies or something at the black box or the auditorium and charge for that. I mean, it's fundraising for a school group so it's probably not that illegal.
September 8th: Today the Royal Woods Middle School Comicbook and Pop Culture club had its first meeting! I was elected President with Clyde backing me up as Vice President, Liam O'Duol is the Historian, Rusty Spokes is the Treasurer, Stella Dulaca is our Public Relations Manager, and Zack Grundle is our Head Technician (he's Good With Computers). We got one of the old computer labs as our club space, the school doesn't really use them anymore since we do computer projects on the laptops that each classroom gets.
We secured an interview with Vice Principal Acosta for the zine. Apparently when he was a kid there wasn't a whole lot of dubs or subs out there for anime, you had to find a translation (usually online with something called "Dial-Up", maybe something to do with phones?) and print out like the whole script and follow it along while watching. I guess we've got it easy. Hopefully the zine drums up more members for the club, it's just the 6 of us right now. I don't want it getting too big or anything, I've got enough on my plate as it is.
September 9th: So mom and dad are out on two day cruise around Saginaw Lake, Leni made plans with friends for a slumber party, Luna's band is playing at The Royale, Luan is doing a student directed show of Hair Gel and is having trouble with the freshies not understanding their blocking, and Lynn has bocce ball practice or something. So I thought they would let Ya Boi Lincoln take the reigns and babysit, but apparently since the last time I babysat I "took advantage of my privileges" and threw a massive "party" (it was a fundraising gala so we could get Zack into summer camp with us) so I'm "not fit to sit anything".
Whatever, my time will come. Mom and Dad had Carol Pringrey (Lori's bff4l) watch us today. She's no Lori, which is a good thing if you ask me, but she's pretty good at keeping us in order. I wanted to stay in my room all day so I could figure out a 3 month plan for the RWMS C&PCC, but Carol kept on bugging me to get out and eat lunch and dinner and junk. I've got a mini fridge in here stocked full of hotdogs and mustard, so I'm pretty much always good to go but she's just doing her job so I can't get mad at her.
Carol's getting her associates at the RW Community College in general sciences or something, said she wants to be a teacher. She's trying to make friends but she said she's having trouble since it seems like everyone there just wants to get their degree and go. I guess she's Having Complications since Lori is at Fairway 8 hours away, and all her other friends are either out of state or studying in Great Lakes City. I kinda feel for her, but also she should probably just focus on getting her credits done as soon as possible. I'm not her dad or anything, so whatever. I didn't really ask to hear any of this stuff, I'm perfectly fine with the average Babysitter to Babysitee relationship, but I guess I gotta be her therapist now. She's a lot like Lori in that she loves to hear herself talk.
September 10th: Carol took us to the aquarium today. She bought an extra ticket for someone, I don't know if it was her boyfriend or anything because I already know too much about her personal life as it is and wasn't about to meddle, but whoever it was never showed up. Everyone kinda picked up on it and felt a bit awkward, even Lily, so we all tried to be on our best behavior. Things were doing well until the twins got separated from us and Carol had a nervous breakdown at the gift shop and I had Lucy calm her down while I looked for the twins. I found them by the bathrooms 3 minutes later and they were embarrassed for making Carol flip out like that. They tried texting us that they had to potty but there wasn't any signal there.
Unlike Lori who starts going manic when anxieties get to her, Carol gets all catatonic and unresponsive. But much like Lori, Carol takes a while to bounce back from it. Finally got her to snap out of it when I offered to get us all Bubble tea (bobba tea? What the heck is it called again?) on the way back and got her in a family selfie, I swear that cell phone camera shutter sound is like a Pavlov Effect on her and Lori. Things were back to normal when we got back in the car and everything was smooth sailing for the rest of the day.
I asked her about the Anime and Manga Club after dinner and she told me all these stories about how her and Lori kept getting in trouble with the PTA for "promoting deviancy" because they read and produced a lot of Yaoi. I guess that's pretty cool of them? In like a progressive kind of way? I don't know. I just kinda wanted some tips on how to handle being a club president, but then she started talking more about her life and oversharing and all that. I gave her my number after she kept on thanking me for listening to her, it just felt kinda weird to not, I guess. It's been a pretty hectic week for me, I guess with the club and homework I probably wouldn't have been able to watch the girls as well without Carol around.
September 11th: So Stella and Liam finished up the zine over the weekend, Clyde and I worked on illustrations for it. Came out pretty good. Zack had the idea of scanning them for prosperity and I used that idea to bring up maybe publishing them online to sell digital copies and Rusty had the idea of using the storefront to sell t-shirts.
So when I got home I hit up Leni and she walked me through using a screen press and that's how I stained the bathtub black. Lola tattled on me, but I didn't get in trouble after I told dad that I was doing it for school. I just gotta work in the garage or the basement from now on.
Sent photos of the prototype to Leni and she asked for the design and she sent me one that's way easier to print. It's a simple design of a squirrel dressed as a superhero with Royal Woods Middle School Comicbook and Pop Culture Club printed in block lettering underneath it. Looks pretty cool. She posted my prototype and her finished design on her Instagrim and I gave her the prototype. She almost snapped my spine with that hug.
September 12: Jordan's pissed at me. This comes at no surprise. She won 6th grade class President and was banking on me being her Vice President and now she says she'll have to "settle" for Chloé. Back during summer camp me and Jordan worked on a Super Secret Plan To Dominate Middle School And Carve Our Names Into The Annals Of History and I didn't know she was taking that plan seriously, I mean most of that plan is legally gray and some if it is in war crime territory. I was totally blasted on Sour Straws and Red Boar, completely caffeinated out of my gourd during summer camp.
According to her the Principal said I can't be 6th grade Vice-President and a club President at the same time since that might lead to bias towards my club (now that I'm thinking about it I totally would be pulling strings to get more stuff). I told her that I had enough on my plate as it is. She wasn't happy with that response. I tried to calm her down before she beat my head in with a dry board eraser by saying that I'll show up on Thursdays to help out with student council shit. Great going, Lincoln.
Rusty said I was wasting my time with Jordan since she "doesn't put out" which is a crazy thing to say, we're 12, I don't know if my balls have even dropped yet (like I can't just roll up to a doctor and ask them if my balls have dropped, ask my Health teacher? Coach Rosato? I think she'd call the cops on me). Stella said it was probably a good idea to have a "in" with student council since "that council bullshit is just a circle jerk of ass-kissers", but she told me to tag her in if Jordan starts demanding more of my time. I think Clyde has the hots for Chloé, or at the very least they are friends so I guess that's another thing in our favor. Maybe Thursday won't be so bad.
September 13th: So I was able to get 60 shirts done yesterday after finishing up my Pre-Hellenistic Theology homework and posted up the shirts for sale along with the digital zine. We sold out in 2 hours, probably thanks to the publicity from Leni's Instagrim account. Apparently all sorts of "hipsters" and "hypebeasts" thought the shirt was ironic enough to spend their parents money on them. I just finished up packing the first order and am sending them out tomorrow morning. Luna is driving me to the post office in the morning, that's another favor I owe her.
The zine sold pretty well too, apparently Liam already has a following on his blog on Somersaultr where he writes movie reviews, his review of Phantom of the Paradise (1974) in the zine got a lot of comments from internet douches saying "Yes, I agree" but in like way more words than necessary. Liam's way into movies.
Liam handles films for the club. Zack is a sci-fi and horror buff. Rusty digs on foreign cartoons and comics and vintage stuff (not just anime and manga, but stuff from all around the world, he calls himself a "renaissance man"). Stella is really into indie junk (like comics and music, I mean, she has that stupid Ramona Flour t-shirt from that one movie/comic always on, she doesn't like the movie adaptation that much, though). Clyde and I handle comics and cartoons.
So we made a good 1200 dollars in the span of two hours, pretty decent, but Rusty says otherwise, he knows more about money than I do since he helps with his dad's business. I try to help with dad's restaurant but I'm usually wiping down tables not bookkeeping. I'll get to work making new designs and printing extra shirts over the weekend. We're thinking about hosting a showing of Phantom of the Paradise (1974) on Friday with Liam and Rusty leading a panel about the history of the film and all that nerdy nitty gritty, gonna print up some fliers to post up tomorrow. Put off getting new members till the last minute just so we get the real devotees in, not the ones "testing the waters". We don't have time for "normies".
September 14th: Thursday sucked so bad.
On the way to school from the post office Luna broke down crying because Sam and her had a "fight" about how Luna needs to give her some space because Luna has been texting her non-stop recently. I guess after being around Lori and Bobby for so long Luna developed the idea that constant communication was mandatory for a successful relationship. I finally calmed her down after an hour of her bawling her eyes out in Flip's parking lot behind the dumpster. Got some weird stares from passerby's. I got to school 30 minutes late and got lunch detention.
And in lunch detention I had to sit next to Chandler the whole time and he kept trying to make conversation with me the whole time, which I wouldn't mind if he wasn't also trying to do his "cool guy" impression. It's like his idea of a "cool dude" is entirely shaped by late 90s and early 2000's sitcoms and made for tv movies. We ate it up back in elementary, but times change. He said he was showing up to "my lame ass movie showing", great. I think he's having a tough time in middle school since his entourage went to that private school on the other side of town.
And because I had lunch detention Jordan thought I was avoiding her and today's student council meeting and wouldn't talk to me during 4th period Judo Class and almost broke my neck with a full Nelson during sparring. Coach Rosato let me sit out the rest of the class though, I owe her a favor.
Jordan finally calmed down after I cornered her in the hallway after school and I explained to her what happened, but still, jesus christ, I don't see a ring around my finger. The meeting itself started out super weird with Principal Koch and Vice Principal Acosta in attendance. Jordan immediately takes the podium and motions for me to come up next to her and I have no idea what's going on until she starts talking about the Buddy Group. I still feel that cold chill going down my neck.
The Buddy Group is the most wicked part of our Middle School Domination Plan where we create a small task group of hand-picked friends to help out "troubled students" who might Have Complications at home or at school. At face level it's a way for students to open up about bullying or have access to resources if they Have Complications, but the Buddy Group will have complete access to all permanent records, psych evaluations, write-up slips, and all sorts of other confidential errata of the whole student body. So much blackmail, I'm sure even Lola would feel disgusted with it.
If Jordan saw that she was losing the crowd she'd nudge me in the ribs to start talking and those dumbasses ate up my words like it was an ice-cold Flipee. Gave them the old "in such volatile times certain concessions and compromises must be made in order to maintain a safe and productive school life", everyone's applause filled me with dread. She got what she wanted from me, the Buddy Group was formed, and she appointed me as the Head Commissioner. I still feel dirty.
Was able to talk Principal Koch into letting the C&PCC use the auditorium tomorrow after school for the movie showing, but told us to make sure to get a copy with no nudity. I think Liam has one on VCR, I'll have to make sure.
Also, Carol was here for dinner. That was kinda weird. She texted me in the morning asking me how I was doing and I didnt get back to her until dad picked me up so I could make it home in time for dinner. Told her that we were having Lynnsagna for dinner and she asked if she could come over and I didn't know she was joking and asked dad and he was all "Sure thing, son! Carol's basically one of the Loud's! She's like Lori's good twin si- I mean regular twin sister." and I sent the text saying it was okay before I got her "lol jk" text and that's why Carol sat next to me at the dinner table.
I mean, I guess it wasn't all that weird, she works for dad and she's friends with all my other sisters too and made conversation with them and junk, her and Leni reconnected and they made plans to go to the mall or whatever. I think Mom and Dad are cool with Carol because they've got mad empty-nest syndrome with Lori. Mom and Dad made me walk her to her car and that definitely was weird, the other girls thought that was weird too. I made the mistake of asking her how she was doing and she info dumped me with a 30 minute long update of how her week is going. Apparently her Molecular Chemistry teacher has a very thick accent but she "isn't racist or anything" she just has to concentrate extra hard so her grades don't slip. How riveting.
Ding dang, I gotta work on my homework, AND the fliers.
"I am the guy
Who reads off my inner monologue
I am the dude
Who swallows all my platitudes
I am the fool
Who got caught nude in the swimming pool"
"Halfway Zen" by Jerry Paper