AUTHOR'S NOTE: I think this is the first fic I've written where I was so in the zone that I wrote, edited and published it all in just one sitting. And yes, I did write yet another "two wives in a tub" fic because I have absolutely no self-control.
Ruby's gaze trailed up and down her left arm, examining each scar intensely. It was strange to see them and not feel revulsion, but she'd come a long way in learning to accept them. She lowered her arm back into the water and sighed, leaning her head back on the edge of the tub. Her eyes closed and she took a deep breath, letting the steam fill her lungs and relax the tension in her muscles.
Quiet music played through the wireless speaker she'd set on the bathroom sink, the calming soft notes of a piano ballad easing her nerves. Under the water her fingers lightly tapped the side of the tub in tune to the rhythm, the stimming keeping her focused and relaxed. The only light in the room came from the small sunlight window in the ceiling above the shower, bathing the room in the faint orange light of a Vale sunset. The dim lighting, the auditory stimulus the piano music provided, and the steaming hot water dulling her senses put her in a state of bliss.
The sound of a turning doorknob prompted Ruby to open an eye and smile. "Hey, beautiful," Ruby beamed.
"Hey, yourself," Weiss giggled and stepped inside the large tub, laying down and nuzzling into her wife. Once she was in her usual comfortable position, she cupped Ruby's cheek in her hand and leaned her head over for a short, sweet kiss to the lips. "You seem content," Weiss observed.
"I am. It's nice to feel this relaxed," Ruby shrugged. Her right arm lifted out of the water and once more she found herself staring at the various scars dotting its surface. So many remnants of past battles, so many dark memories. But Weiss had said it herself: Ruby survived. In spite of those dark days, she was still here. She took comfort in that thought.
Weiss held a hand out near Ruby's arm, and only when her wife nodded did she gently take hold and run her hands along it. She pulled Ruby's arm closer and planted soft, gentle kisses to each scar, smiling when she felt the slight rumble of Ruby's giggling. Weiss looked up at her partner. "You're beautiful, my love. Every last part of you."
"So are you," Ruby blushed and brought her free hand up to stroke Weiss's hair. She planted a soft kiss to the top of her head. "I love you."
"I love you, too." Weiss let go of Ruby's arm to wrap around her wife's body, holding her as close as she possibly could. Her head rested on Ruby's chest as she listened to the sounds of her lover's heartbeat. Weiss knew the patterns like the back of her hand. She knew the rate it would pound when she was stressed, frightened or overloaded, but she also knew the sounds of peaceful bliss, and she smiled when she recognized the familiar, gentle beats.
Ruby's hands held onto Weiss, with one continuing to play with her hair and another one simply rubbing her back. She leaned down and pressed small, repeated kisses to her scalp. "You're so beautiful," she whispered.
"You're pretty hot, too, you know," Weiss giggled. She looked up at Ruby and cupped her cheek. Ruby placed a hand over Weiss's and turned her head to kiss her lover's palm.
Ruby grinned and winked, "You're a total bombshell. Hotness personified. Eleven out of ten, would marry again."
"Oh, yeah?" Weiss whispered. "Well, you're an infinity out of ten, sexiest woman alive." She inched herself up towards Ruby until their lips brushed. "And she can have me whenever she wants."
Ruby's eyes were widened and her face shone as deep a red as her namesake. "Uh…" Try as she might, she couldn't vocalize a thing, much less form a single coherent thought.
"My, my…" Weiss purred, "looks like someone's flustered."
"Kiss me," Ruby finally breathed. Weiss grinned and closed the near-microscopic gap between them, pressing her lips to hers. The kiss deepened, and the feeling of pure euphoria shot through both of them. Small noises of blissful contentment erupted as Weiss shifted her body to lay fully on top of Ruby.
Even through the excitement of the kiss, the pressure of Weiss's body on her own calmed Ruby. The feeling of their bodies melting together was a familiar but ever-blissful sensation, and neither of them could ever get enough of it. Though usually sensitive to being under a multitude of sensations, intimacy with Weiss was Ruby's favorite experience in the world.
"I love you so much," Ruby panted. "So, so much."
"I love you, too." Weiss panted back. She lightly nipped at Ruby's lower lip before adding, "You're my hero, Ruby."
Their hands reached up into the other's wet hair and they pressed their foreheads together, letting quiet comfort wash over them. Gradually, the piano music Ruby had started earlier wound down, and a new song took its place. A few short notes, and a deep, ridiculous voice took its place.
"Twenty-five years, and my life is still…" the song started. Ruby immediately burst into laughter and Weiss rolled her eyes.
"You did not put this in your playlist," Weiss deadpanned even as she failed to suppress the small, amused smile that formed.
"I did," Ruby laughed, almost choking with laughter.
A pop beat started and Ruby's laughter increased. A comically exaggerated voice sang, "And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed. Just to get it all out, what's in my head. And I-I-I, I'm feeling a little peculiar."
"Ruby, why…" Weiss sighed. Through her laughter, Ruby dried her hand on the shower curtain and grabbed the nearby scroll she'd set on the tub's wide rim to fast-forward through the song.
"Hon, it's because I say HEY-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH-YEAH, HEY-YEAH-YEAH!" Ruby's head rocked back and forth, a wide, stupid grin on her face. "I SAID, 'HEY!'" She flashed Weiss a wink. "WHAT'S GOING ON?"
The song continued, but Ruby couldn't get out another word through her hysterical laughter. For her part, Weiss merely raised an eyebrow and tried to contain a smile.
"So, still an infinity out of ten?" Ruby finally got out. Weiss rolled her eyes and let her smile come through in full.
"Still an infinity out of ten," Weiss shook her head.
"Sexiest woman alive?" Ruby waggled her eyebrows even as the most ridiculous song Weiss had ever heard continued to play.
"Dorkiest woman alive, that's for sure," Weiss rolled her eyes. She dried one of her own hands and hit the pause button on Ruby's scroll. "Good, now that that ridiculousness is out of the way…" Weiss leaned back down towards Ruby and whispered in her ear, "Still the sexiest woman alive." She paused for a moment. "Somehow."
"So you're a morosexual?" Ruby chuckled. Weiss sat up and looked at Ruby with concern.
"You did not just call yourself a moron!" Weiss objected. "You are absolutely not! You're so smart and kind and beautiful and… and… Ruby," Weiss sighed in exasperation. "My eyes are up here, sweetheart."
"Yep," Ruby nodded, her eyes locked firmly on Weiss's chest. "I am looking respectfully."
"Uh huh," Weiss deadpanned. She rolled her eyes, smiled and gently booped Ruby on the nose. "And somehow, you can still have me whenever you want."
"Then I want a kiss," Ruby grinned.
"Dolt." Weiss leaned down and Ruby gently took hold of her chin.
"'Dolt?' Going for a classic there, huh?" Ruby chuckled. Her face was mere millimeters away from Weiss's.
"Just shut up and kiss me," she laughed. The gap between them closed and they pressed themselves into another deep kiss. That familiar feeling of euphoria washed over them and Weiss felt herself melt in her wife's embrace.
It was truly perfect. Ruby, with all her strengths and flaws, was perfect to Weiss. Things couldn't be more perfect.
Weiss felt Ruby's chest rapidly rise and fall as she giggled with glee. It was only a half-second later when Weiss realized why.
Another song came through the small speaker, and from the very first note Weiss knew what had happened. She sat back up and looked at Ruby with disbelief. "Honey, did you just rickroll me?"
Ruby held up her hand, scroll still firmly in her grasp, and cackled, "There was an opportunity and I had to take it. You know the rules, and so do I."
Weiss brought her palm to her face and groaned. "Gods, you are such a dork."
"Your dork," Ruby beamed. "Your dork."
Again Weiss smiled and rolled her eyes. "And I'm your… I don't know, what's an affectionate pet name?"
"My tsundere?" Ruby shrugged.
"…Let's just stick with 'wife,'" Weiss laughed. She held Ruby's head in her hands and kissed her forehead. Ruby leaned forward to nuzzle Weiss's chest and Weiss peppered her lover's scalp with small kisses. "But hon," Weiss started, "it's my turn with the music."
She let go of Ruby's head and dried her hands before carefully grabbing the scroll out of her wife's grip. Cautious to keep her arm extended so the device couldn't fall in the water, Weiss opened up the device's music library and chose a new song.
She set the scroll down and grinned when she saw Ruby's ecstatic smile. "Weiss, I freaking love you!" Ruby pulled her down into a tight hug.
"Well, if we're gonna listen to stupid songs, we might as well go with the best," Weiss grinned.
Lyrics pumped through the electronic beat; "Put down the chainsaw and listen to me, it's time for us to join in the fight!"
Ruby started to sing along, "It's time to let your babies grow up to be cowboys, it's time to let the bedbugs bite!"
"My love, you are a total dork," Weiss giggled, laughing loud and proud like she rarely had before.
"Heck yeah I am!" Ruby cheered. "Now come on and sing with me!" She gestured towards Weiss as she sang, "You better sell some wine before it's time, you better find yourself an itch to scratch!"
As the song continued, Ruby kept nodding towards Weiss to get her to join along. Finally, Weiss shrugged and grinned. She raised a cheerful fist of triumph and sang, "Stick your head in the microwave and give yourself a tan!"
"Attagirl!" Ruby cheered and kissed Weiss's cheek.
"Forever," Weiss beamed. Both of them lightly danced along with the song, flinging water out of the tub without a single care in the world.
Together they cheered, "Talk with your mouth full! Bite the hand that feeds you! Bite off more than you can chew! What can you do?" Holding each other close, they loudly sang, "Dare to be Stupid!"
Light dancing turned into full high-energy splashes as they bounced up and down with the rhythm, both of them laughing all the while. "Take some wooden nickels! Look for Mr. Goodbar! Get your mojo working now! I'll show you how!"
"You can Dare to be Stupid!" Both of them were sat up next to each other, holding the other's waist and rocking back and forth. "You can turn the other cheek! You can just give up the ship! You can eat a bunch of sushi then forget to leave a tip!"
"Dare to be Stupid! Come on and Dare to be Stupid! It's so easy to do! Dare to be Stupid! We're all waiting for you! Let's go!"
It was fortunate for them that the lyrics took a short break, because now they were both laughing so hysterically that Ruby had fallen over and lightly bonked her head on the end of the tub, but if she noticed, she showed no signs of it. She gently pulled Weiss back on top of her, and both of them made it through the rest of the song by cuddling together, bouncing their legs and repeatedly pumping their fists in triumph.
Joining back in the music when they'd regained enough composure, they cheered, "Settle down, raise a family, join the P.T.A.! Buy some sensible shoes and a Chevrolet! Then party till you're broke and they drive you away! It's okay! You can Dare to be Stupid!"
More and more water flooded out as they bounced along together. "Its like spitting on a fish! It's like barking up a tree!" They pointed towards each other as they sang, "It's like I said, you gotta buy one if you want to get one free!"
"Dare to be Stupid! Yes! Why don't you Dare to be Stupid! It's so easy to do! Dare to be Stupid! We're all waiting for you! Dare to be Stupid!"
They looked into each other's eyes. "Burn your candle at both ends! Look a gift horse in the mouth! Mashed potatoes can be your friends!"
Weiss jumped up and stood in the tub, holding her hand out to pull Ruby up. Now standing together, they held onto each other and danced. "You can be a coffee achiever! You can sit around the house and watch Leave It to Beaver! The future's up to you, so what you gonna do?"
Little water remained in the tub as they gleefully splashed around. "Dare to be Stupid! Dare to be Stupid! What did I say? Dare to be Stupid! Tell me, what'd I say? Dare to be Stupid!"
Gleeful laughter echoed throughout the house. "It's alright! Dare to be Stupid! We can be stupid, alright! Dare to be Stupid! Come on, join the crowd! Dare to be Stupid! Shout it out loud! Dare to be Stupid!"
Their arms flailed wildly and their legs bounced up and down. "I can't hear you!" They both rotated a finger around an ear and put on a quizzical expression. "Dare to be Stupid!" They nodded in understanding then clasped their hands together. "Okay, I can hear you now!"
"Dare to be Stupid! Let's go!" Weiss pulled Ruby to her until there was no gap between them, their hands still clasped and their arms pointed up on one side and stretched out towards the shower curtain on the other.
"Dare to be Stupid! Dare to be Stupid! Dare to be Stupid! Dare to be Stupid! Dare to be Stupid! Dare to be Stupid! Dare to be Stupid!"
"Dare to be Stupid!"
They stood there with lowered heads as they caught their breath for a moment. Once they'd finally felt refreshed, they looked at each other in silence for several seconds before bursting into laughter.
"Weiss Rose, you are a one of a kind!" Ruby beamed. Weiss jumped in the air and held her hands behind Ruby's neck as she caught Weiss's legs. Holding Weiss in the air, Ruby pressed her lips to her wife's in a soft, giggle-filled kiss.
Breaking apart for a moment, Weiss looked below them with surprise. "Um, I think we lost the water."
Ruby looked down at the now-empty tub and laughed. "Oh, yeah. We did." Their eyes locked again and they shook with laughter. Ruby gently lowered Weiss until her wife was back on her feet, then she opened the shower curtain and looked at the now flooded bathroom.
"So," Ruby started. "This is a thing."
"Totally worth it?" Weiss looked at Ruby.
"Oh, heck yeah!" she cheered. "After all, what's the point of singing Dare to be Stupid if we're not gonna be a little stupid ourselves?" She stepped out of the tub and walked to a cabinet, opening it up to reveal a multitude of towels. Grabbing them, Ruby set them across the floor one at a time.
"Should we try again?" Weiss asked, gesturing to the empty tub she still stood in.
Ruby rubbed her chin in thought for a moment. "I mean, we did kinda get sidetracked before we could actually clean ourselves."
"I'll get the water going," Weiss smiled and raised a thumbs up before turning to start the hot water again. Once she'd finished laying towels all over the floor, Ruby stepped back into the tub next to Weiss.
Standing behind her, Ruby wrapped her arms around Weiss's waist and smiled when she felt her lover's hands overtop of her own. She pressed against Weiss's back and Weiss leaned her head against Ruby's chest.
As the water steadily refilled the tub, Ruby leaned down and planted gentle kisses along Weiss's neck and collarbone. A small sigh escaped Weiss's lips as Ruby lightly nibbled at her skin, leaving small marks behind as a reward.
"I love you," Ruby whispered as she repeatedly trailed kisses all along her wife's body.
"I love you, too," Weiss purred. A small chuckle escaped her lips. "How did we go from stupid music back to this?"
"Don't question it," Ruby laughed. The water now up to their ankles, Ruby wondered aloud, "Should we sit back down?"
"As long as you keep giving me kisses," Weiss grinned.
"As if you need to ask," Ruby giggled. She sat down in the tub and reached over to grab her scroll and resume the piano ballads she'd been listening to earlier. She then helped Weiss lower herself to sit down, and once she did, Weiss scooted closer to Ruby and stretched back, pressing her back to Ruby's chest as she rested over her wife.
Weiss lightly gasped as Ruby leaned forward and peppered her neck with more kisses. "This is nice," she whispered.
"Yeah." Ruby's hands moved up and down Weiss's body, appreciating every inch of her. "You're so beautiful."
Weiss gently took hold of Ruby's left arm and trailed a thumb across the various scars. "You're no less beautiful, my love." She lifted Ruby's arm to plant kisses along each scar. She grinned. "The sexiest woman in the world."
"And you can have me whenever you want," Ruby whispered. Weiss sat up, turned off the water, then turned her body to look Ruby in the eyes. Her wife's cheek in her hand, she leaned forward until their lips were close enough to touch.
"I think I'll take you up on that," Weiss purred. She felt Ruby's hand run through her hair and pull her closer, closing the gap and locking their lips together. She quietly moaned when she felt Ruby's hand grab her rear, and Weiss suddenly found herself grateful Ruby had already lain towels across the floor. After all, chances were there was about to be a lot more splashing.
It may not have been their brightest idea, but they had more than earned the right to be stupid together.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: This started as a thematic follow-up to the first chapter, then for some reason it just escalated into including "Weird Al" Yankovic's Dare to be Stupid because… why not?
I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. As always, any feedback is appreciated.