I hope you have forgiven me for the ending of the last chapter! I hope you will enjoy this chapter too - and the little callback to chapter 4 in one ofhe flashbacks!
Please enjoy the read!
Erwin's eyes kept wandering off as he looked through the empty hallway.
He wasn't even sure how long he had sat on the ground here, hoping for a sign that Levi was still alive.
He had been shooed from the waiting area, the staff not wanting any Eldians sitting around there as people were still rushed in after the battle and from the outskirts of the city that had been hit by the titans.
Onyankopon was still with the staff, begging them to take care of Levi.
At first they had refused him, but as soon as Onyankopon had explained they were with the alliance, they had at least hesitantly taken him for exams. As much as the city was in chaos and the titans had only disintegrated just now, it was clear what the alliance had done to save them.
Erwin had eventually been send away to wait for any news, away from the Marleyans. He didn't mind though, glad to sit in the quiet as he was trying to stay calm. His heart pounded and he felt ill, so nervous on any news on Levi.
Although Levi had had the slightest, faintest pulse when they had brought him, he didn't dare to be too hopeful. He knew how much blood he had lost on the way here, how he hadn't responded and after he had convulsed, his body had gone limp.
He wasn't even sure how long he had sat here at this point. All he could do was look at the floor, hope for time to pass and finally get any news.
He looked up at the small window up in the wall. It was slightly cracked open and when he looked up, the sky dark as the day had turned into the night, the stars flickering up in the sky.
'Erwin,'
He look up, relieved as Hange came walking his way, having made it out of the battle. They sunk down beside him with a loud sigh, their face weary and tired, nowhere the curious and cheerful person they usually were.
Before Erwin could say anything, they wrapped their arms around him.
'Levi?'
'No news yet, Onyankopon said they have taken him into surgery,' Erwin said as he laid his hand on their back, so glad to see them. Hange was just relieved that Levi had still been alive when they had made it here. As much as they had tried to keep hopeful, they knew his situation was dire.
'Did everybody make it out?' Erwin asked worried.
'No – Eren – he – we couldn't,'
Hearing Hange's voice break, he held them even tighter, hating that he had put this on Hange.
Holding each other close, it brough Erwin a lot of comfort that he was not alone here, as hard as it was to hear about Eren. Finally they let go, sitting back against the wall again.
'What happened to Levi?' Hange finally dared to ask.
'His body seemed to completely shut down as soon as you defeated the titans,' Erwin said as he looked at the floor in front of him.
'The Titan power ceased to exist when Eren – you know – so his Ackerman powers must have gone at that point as well,' Hange deduced.
'You know people don't survive these things, the only reason he did in the first place was those healing powers. The damage may have been worse than he let on, Erwin,' Hange said and Erwin nodded.
'Seems like it, it's been hours, haven't heard anything,' Erwin complained, tired, desperate for any news.
'No news may be good news, ' Hange encouraged him.
They sat together for another half hour before Onyankopon finally appeared, sitting down across from them.
'Is he okay?'
'Still in surgery, they closed the tear in his stomach, but they are still working on his head and hip,' Onyankopon told him. As much as Erwin hated that, at least it gave him some hope that he was still alive after being in surgery all of these hours.
'Multiple fractures, his stomach is ruptured and he may have a head injury since he started bleeding from his ear while they were examining him. They can't do anything about his eye,' Onyankopon said as he sat down across from Hange and Erwin.
'I think we all expected that last bit,' Erwin just sighed frustrated, not being able to do anything, especially now things seemed a lot worse than he had even expected.
'It not good, even if he makes it through the surgery,' Onyankopon warned them, 'it is going to be a question when he wakes up – or if he will wake up,'
'He will,' Hange just stated although they looked just as worried as Erwin.
'Those healing powers are gone, he is just a normal man now,' Erwin bit his lip, Hange still holding him.
'I am going to talk to the staff again, let you know when I know more,' Onyankopon said as he got up again, laying his hand on Erwin's shoulder just a second.
Hange yawned, their head against Erwin's shoulder now as they stared off into the distance.
'Hange, you must be exhausted after fighting, you don't need to stay,'
'I sat with Levi all night after Shiganshina, as much as he told me to go away – I am not leaving your side either,' Hange promised Erwin, crossing their legs as they sat back beside him. As much as the day had tired them out, they wouldn't be able to find any rest either until there was news on Levi.
Sitting together, they just hoped that Levi would be okay.
Levi wasn't even sure how long he had sat on the ground here right outside of the doors to the infirmary of the Scout office.
The diaries, Marley – nothing of it had sunk in yet.
The only thing on his mind was what was happening on the other side of the door.
He sat with his back against the wall, his arms wrapped around his knees, just like he had sat for days after his mother had died.
He only looked up as Hange popped up beside him.
'Figured I would find you here,' Hange said as they sat down beside Levi. They wanted to wrap their arm around Levi, saw how distraught the man looked, but Levi hit it away with a quick swat, pulling his arms around his knees again.
'Levi, you must be exhausted, go to sleep. There is nothing you can do for Erwin now. I will wake you up when there is any, news, okay?'
Levi shook his head. For a second he doubted about telling Hange that he and Erwin had been together for a few months now. Even though it had stayed casual between them, they spend most nights together.
'Have you heard anything yet?'
'He just came out of surgery, closed the wound in his stomach, luckily the rocks didn't damage his organs, but he lost a lot of blood,' Levi droned, Hange just nodding.
'Hange?'
'Yeah?'
'You shouldn't tell me to go to sleep, you are wounded, you need to get some rest instead of me,' Levi stated.
'Shut up, I won't be able to sleep anyway,' Hange said, sadness on their face.
'I am really sorry about Moblit,' Levi knew the reason they wouldn't be able to sleep.
'Thanks,' Hange said softly, chocking on the tears. They sat in silence for a while, both of them aware they couldn't do anything for Erwin but too tired to move.
'Do you think I should have given him the serum?' Levi suddenly asked Hange, the fact that he had picked Armin weighing heavily on his mind.
'No, you saved 2 lives today. Erwin will pull through and you saved Armin,' Hange told him, hoping to bring a little bit of comfort, knew it had been a hard decision to make.
They looked up as the door finally opened.
'You still here huh,' they told Levi.
'Still here,' he just dryly answered, 'how is Erwin?'
'Surgery went well, he lost a lot of blood so it is going to be touch and go, I think he will pull through though,'
Levi wanted to ask him if he could go and see him, but knew it would be an inappropriate question as nobody knew what was going on between them.
As most of the staff left, exhausted after they had tended to Erwin for hours, Levi slipped into his room.
In the room furthest in the hospital, feeling like they were hidden away from the Marleyans that were being cared for here, Erwin was finally reunited with Levi. It was a small room, a bed in the middle of the back wall.
Levi looked even smaller than usually on the bed, his body almost hidden under all the tubes around his body, the pillows supporting some of his limbs and his head.
Erwin barely dared to look, as grateful as he was Levi was still with him, he knew it wasn't going to be an easy road.
The sun was rising again, Erwin having waited for almost a whole 24 hours when he finally rushed to the bed.
Hange followed right behind, him slowly, laying their hand on Erwin's arm, wanting to support him too. They knew that Levi had no clue they were here, but they knew that Erwin needed the support as much as he tried to stay strong.
Sitting down on the edge of the bed, careful to hurt Levi, Erwin felt tears well up in his eyes.
'Levi, please wake up,' he mumbled, softly, his voice breaking.
'You know he is not waking up any time soon, Erwin,' Hange said softly, their hand on his shoulder.
'I know, I really need him to wake up though,' Erwin mumbled, feeling a tear stream down his cheek. Careful he moved forward, kissing Levi on his forehead, trying not to be disturbed about the dressings and the side of his head, fluids and blood still being drained out of his head.
Erwin felt horrible that they hadn't even known about the full extent of his injuries and he hoped that it meant that Levi had not been in too much pain.
'I am going to see if I can get us something to eat, okay? You stay with Levi,' Hange said. Although they weren't hungry, they figured Erwin needed some time as it wasn't even easy for them seeing Levi like this, let alone for Erwin.
Left alone with Levi, Erwin broke down, starting to sob as he looked at the broken man in the bed. Onyankopon had talked to him for minutes, but most of it had passed him by.
He would ask it all again tomorrow, hopefully finally able to listen and remember.
Looking at the tube coming from his chest, he remembered what Onyankopon having said about his ribs being broken, his lung having collapsed.
'I love you, please come back to me,' Erwin said softly, his hand on Levi's upper arm, worried to hurt him, or harm the tubes by his arm, joining up with the needles in his hand.
Looking up as Hange walked back into the room, they sat across from Erwin on a chair they pulled closer.
'Here,' Hange said as they handed over the bread to him.
'Talked to the doctor too, wasn't too excited about treating nor talking to Eldians – but they wouldn't have wasted their time or resources on Levi if they had no trust he was going to get better,' Hange said as they started eating as well, so hungry and tired after the battle as well.
'He shouldn't have survived this, but he did, so that is a good sign,' Hange told him again.
'I hope so, I can't lose him Hange,' Erwin said, tears in his eyes. Feeling Hange's hand wrap around his, he just hoped thing would finally get better soon.
Slipping into the room, he was ready to feign innocence if there was still staff here, not knowing he couldn't go in here. But there was nobody to stop him, the room dark except for the small candle on the nightstand.
Erwin laid on the bed, his abdomen wrapped in bandages. His face was pale, Levi knew it was because of the blood loss. For now he was just so grateful that Erwin was still with him.
Hange was walking through the hallway, not being able to sleep either. Even though they had left after the news Erwin had pulled through, they couldn't take it off their mind.
Slowly walking to the bedroom, wanting to check on their commander, they opened the door, not really surprised to find Levi in there.
What did surprise them though was the fact that the captain's lips were pressed on the commander's forehead. Closing the door quickly, not wanting to embarrass Levi after the horrible and long day, they hurried back to their own room.
Levi didn't hear the door though, only pulling his lips away from Erwin's forehead after a few seconds.
He felt tired, so tired after the battle, the choice on the roof, the basement.
Curling up onto the bed beside Erwin, his head near his hand, he started to sob, letting all the anger of the final charge, the fear of losing Erwin, the choice about the serum, the basement – all of it settled into his brain as he laid here with the person he had lost and had come back in the same day.
All the information about Marley, it hadn't even settled into his head, all that was in his head now was Erwin.
Curling up, his knees under his chin as he sobbed, laying on the bed beside Erwin, it wasn't long before his exhaustion won.
He didn't even care who would find him here anymore. All he wanted was to be here.
Erwin lost all track of time again as he sat by Levi's bed over the next days.
Erwin tried not to look at all the tubes and needles that had been prodded into his body. He had objected a few times, only to be told by Onyankopon that it would help Levi. Hange hadn't been able keep their eye of it, intrigued by all the technologies. It had at least given Erwin the slightest bit of a smile during all of this.
The tube had been removed from his chest, the lung that had collapsed having reinflated, although they still worried about his broken ribs. The one upside of him being unconscious was at least that he could not move and damage his lung further.
Erwin couldn't help but think how damaged his body had been from the initial blast and how little Levi had lead on. He knew that Levi felt less pain and he wondered if he had even known the extend of his own injuries.
His broken ankle, the broken ribs, the head injury, all of it had been obscured by his powers before.
'Erwin?'
Looking up, he was surprised to see Hange beside him.
'Hey,'
'Come on, you need to come eat and sleep at home, you have been here too long,' Hange said strict.
'How long?' Erwin asked a little dazed, having lost all track of time.
'Three days, come on, you need to sleep, eat something,' Hange said gentle as they nudged him to get up.
'I can't leave his side Hange,'
'You need to look after yourself – you haven't eaten and you smell,' Hange told him.
'You are one to talk, Levi had knock you out to shower once -' Erwin trailed off again. His chest tightened, pain searing through his chest as he talked about Levi, feeling like even though he was right in front of him, he had still lost him.
'Come on, you are not helping him by not looking after yourself,' Hange said.
'I wanna stay, Hange,'
'I will manhandle you out of this room,' they warned him.
'I don't want to leave him alone Hange, I don't want to,'
'Armin, Connie and Jean are at Onyankopon's place too – Falco too, one of them can go to back to stay with Levi,' Hange told him, knew that there was no way they were getting Erwin out of here without some persuasion.
'Come on, stand up,' Hange finally told him, grabbing him in his collar.
'Fine!' Erwin finally agreed. Getting up, he gently pressed a kiss on Levi's forehead, tucking him in slightly before finally following Hange.
'Took me just as long to talk Levi away from your side after Shiganshina, I love you both - but you are insufferable when either of you gets hurt,' Hange sighed as they walked towards the exit, some of the staff looking at them distrusting, they were still from Paradis after all.
'Hey,' Erwin just argued.
'What, I am your commander, now after ten years of putting up with both of your bullshit, I get to call you and Levi insufferable at least once,' Hange argued, finally getting a laugh from Erwin.
'Fine, yeah, it's fair,'
His eyes burned from the sleep deprivation, only worsened by the sun outside. Walking beside Hange, he wanted to ask about how things had been politically these last few days, but he felt too tired, his head too full with worry to care.
'Erwin, we are going to meet with Marleyan officers tomorrow to start the Peace talks, you should come with us,' Hange told him as they started walking towards the harbor, where Onyankopons house was that the Azumabitos had taken care of. Everybody from Paradis was staying there, although Onyankopon had told that he could arrange another house or apartment for them.
Walking into the small house near the harbor, he smiled as he saw Falco and Connie playing with a ball in the small garden behind the house, it brought a smile to his face to see Falco finally being a kid.
'Come on, eat something first,' Hange pushed him to the kitchen and he sat down by the table, looking as Hange was warming some soup for him.
'You can't only worry about Levi, you need worry about yourself too,' Hange told him.
'They treat him like shit there,' Erwin complained, 'I know we are lucky they will even help him, but I am sick of him being treated like shit just because he was born Eldian,'
'I know, but there is nothing we can do about that. As soon as he is awake and stable we will take him home,' Hange promised.
'You don't need to worry about it though, with everything going on with being commander and the peace talks,' Erwin told Hange then, nodding grateful as they handed over a bowl of soup to him. Taking a bowl themselves as well, Hange plopped down beside him.
'Will tell you about all of it when you wake up,'
'Thanks Hange,' Erwin smiled, so grateful they had taken his place so well.
'Let's see Armin after dinner so he can stay with Levi – if he can't, Jean will probably go,' Hange smiled at him, just wanting him to feel at ease as well.
'I am scared Hange, what if he doesn't wake up – or not like himself?' Erwin finally asked, tears in his eyes and he wasn't even sure if it was the emotions wash over him or his exhaustion.
'You know he is strong and I still have good hope,' Hange told him.
'Alright, to bed you, promise I will get somebody to sit with Levi and otherwise I will myself,' Hange told him, pushing against his upper arm as he finished the soup. Nodding, not doubting for a second they would make up on that promise, he finally moved to the room Hange pointed out.
Laying down on the bed it didn't even take a minute for him to fall asleep as his head hit the pillow, all the tiredness of the last few days washing over him.
He didn't sleep long though, waking up from a nightmare about losing Levi.
Opening his eyes, Erwin wasn't even sure how long he had been out. As he looked at the ceiling, it slowly all came back to him.
Shiganshina.
Plugging the wall.
The beast titan.
The final charge.
He tried to make sense of the fact that he was still alive, having been so at peace with his death, so sure he was going to die.
Yet, he had suddenly woken up.
His room was mostly dark, when he spotted a bump at the end of his bed.
Looking in front of him, he was surprised as he finally made out the shape at the end of his bed.
It was Levi, wrapped up into a blanket he had taken from his own room, as well as a pillow. Curled up, almost catlike, he laid on the end of his bed.
Surprised as it was one of the few times he had ever seen Levi sleep, Erwin smiled then, grateful that he was with him.
In the dim light from the candle on the nightstand, he could see Levi look tired, even darker circles under his eyes, figured that he had been here for however long he had been in this bed. Taking the sight of the man he loved so much so close to him, he still couldn't make sense of what had happened, he couldn't wait to hold the person he loved so much again.
He still had Levi's hand in his, his thumb carefully caressing it as he looked out of the window, without even focusing on something.
Again, he had no clue how long he had been sitting here from the last time he had arrived. The days seemed to merge together, the only thing taking his attention away sometimes the staff that very seldom seemed to come by to check on Levi.
Onyankopon had confirmed a lot of the staff didn't feel comfortable taking care of Levi, so instead they had done their best to take the best care of them they could. Hange and Armin had been with him the rare moments he had been away from his side, Jean even coming by once between the meetings they had about the peace talks.
A few times a day the staff did come and see Levi though, administering drugs into the various tubes that were attached to his body.
Now that the surgeries were almost a week ago, most of the dressings were removed from his stomach, hip and the side of his head. Erwin hoped that it finally marked the beginning of his recovery. One of the nurses said that the wounds were healing well and Erwin knew he had to be grateful for it, but he still felt disappointed that he healed nowhere as fast as before.
Kissing the back of his hand, carefully, he couldn't imagine that it was only a week ago since he had last spoken to him, but it seemed like an eternity now.
Erwin wished that he could be excited about the peace talks between Paradis and Marley, but as much as he tried to listen, Levi's was only on his mind. He hated that fact though, knowing that it was important and it was the goal they had been working towards for so long.
Erwin only looked up as Falco touched his shoulder, carefully.
'Hange said you were here,' the small boy standing beside him, looking nervous.
'Hey Falco,' Erwin just faked a smile, tired. He wasn't even sure how long he had sat here. His mind was a blur, the only moment that stood out of the last few days were the moments where a doctor came to check on Levi, or when they send him out of the room to take care of him.
'Armin is with me, he will sit with Levi. Hange wants you to come home to eat and sleep,' Falco told him, Armin waving from the doorway.
'They said it was an order,' Falco followed up, clearly so nervous to tell Erwin as he knew he had been commander not too long ago.
'Alright, better come with you then,' Erwin finally said, not wanting to get Falco in trouble.
Armin walked into the room now as well.
'Are you okay?' Armin asked concerned.
'Just tired, really worried about Levi – look after him, okay?' Erwin told Armin, glad that at least Levi would not be alone while he was gone.
Armin looked tired as well, his week full with the starting of the peace talks, being by Hanges side all this time. Erwin knew it couldn't be easy on him to lose his friend and not even Mikasa to fall back on.
'Thank you,' Erwin told Armin, his hand on his shoulder for a second, appreciative that with everything going, he was still so kind to everybody around them.
'Ofcourse, just take some time for yourself, please,' Armin pleaded with him.
'Yeah, please come and get me if anything changes though,'
Armin nodded, sitting down in the chair Erwin had been for the last week, only having been out of it a few hours when he needed to, when the others had forced him.
Erwin smiled as he walked beside Falco, trying to make some small talk with the young boy. He had been around the hospital a few times when Hange had send him over with food for Erwin and even once to help with taking care of Levi, washing him and changing him.
Erwin had insisted he didn't need to help, but Falco insisted on helping. Erwin appreciated it, knew that hue had probably grown up loathing them, the devils of Paradis. Yet he had been nothing but kind, nice and helpful and it gave him so much hope for the future.
'You must be happy to be home and with your fam-' Erwin stopped, seeing his bottom lip quivering.
' My brother died on Paradise – and my parents are dead too,' Falco suddenly started to sob, his fists against his eyes as he stopped walking. Falco was so mature and composed usually and seeing him break down almost like a small child hurt Erwin – or maybe the small child he still was, but Marley had never allowed him to be.
'Falco, I am so sorry,' Erwin said he got down on one knee, laying his hand on Falco's shoulder, it broke his heart to hear this, knowing how much it hurt to be orphaned.
'They were on the train and the titans – they stepp-,'
'Shhh, I am so sorry,' Erwin said as he held the boy, feeling so sorry for him.
Holding the boy close, he felt so bad for the boy, his heart breaking.
'Come on, walk with me,' Erwin told Falco, his hand still around his shoulder.
They walked towards the harbor, but instead of going to Onyankopon's house, Erwin waved for them to keep walking towards the water.
Walking to the ice cream stand, it seemed trivial. The outskirts of Liberio were in ruins. Hundreds of people had died. Falco had lost his family – his brother on Paradis and no his parents. He could lose Levi and even if he pulled through, he had no idea how he would come out of this or if he could fully recover.
'Come on, it's my favourite thing from when I visited Liberio before – probably better than anything Hange is cooking up,' Erwin smiled friendly at Falco, the boy nodding and following him. Buying two big cones they settled on a bench looking over the water. Apart from some of the sand on the beach disturbed and fences pushed over, nothing was too be seen of the stampede of people that had tried to get out a week ago.
'I know an ice cream is not fixing anything for you, but -'
'It's nice, thank you,' Falco said politely, sitting down beside him.
'I am really sorry Falco, I lost my parents when I was really young too – well my dad – my mom died when I was born,' Erwin admitted to him, 'just know we are all here for you,'
'Gabi won't even look at me, I think she feels guilty she still has her family,' Falco said as he stared at the ice cream.
'If there is anything me – or the others can do to help you, please let us know,' Erwin saiw heartfelt, still feeling so sorry for him.
'You must be worried about Levi,' Falco shifted the topic, not wanting to talk about his parents anymore.
'Even if he does wake up, he may not be the man that I love and that scares me,' Erwin admitted, not sure why he was spilling out to a child.
Maybe it was just because he reminded him of himself.
Levi tiptoed into the room, carrying a platter of homemade pastries as well as two cups of tea. He didn't know if Erwin was awake or if he felt up for eating, but all he wanted was to do something nice for him. He had been stuck in bed for over a week now and Levi knew how hard it was on Erwin.
Erwin was asleep, the large robe opened, the fresh bandages around his chest and he had kicked the blanket away. Levi smirked for a second, he did that often at night and while Levi didn't sleep often, it seemed to happen every time he had finally fallen asleep and woke up in an icy bedroom.
Putting the tray down on the chair he had been sitting often these last days, he picked up the blanket from the floor, carefully putting it over Erwin away, tucking him in.
Sitting down, Erwin stirred for a second, yawning and groaning then.
Looking aside, he smiled as he spotted Levi.
'Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you,' Levi immediately apologized, feeling bad for putting the blanket over him and waking him.
'That's fine,' Erwin smiled.
'How are you feeling?'
'Decent,' Erwin smiled and he meant it, although he felt tired still, he did feel better every day.
'I brought some tea and pastries if you are up for it,' Levi offered, pointing at the tray.
'Help me sit up please, because I would like to dig into those,' Erwin smiled, Levi doing so, tucking some of the pillows in his back.
'I am not sure if they are any good,' Levi admitted as he sat on the edge of the bed, the tray on his lap so Erwin could reach them.
'They look good, you made them yourself?' Erwin just smiled, so grateful Levi had come to join him again.
'Yes,' Levi nodded.
'Didn't know you could bake,'
'Have fuck all to do now that you are slacking off,' Levi teased him, Erwin smiling, digging into the pastries.
'I – I am so happy you are doing better, I hated seeing you hurt,' Levi told him. The last week had been hard on him, the first days still very touch and go for Erwin.
'Hey, I am going to be okay, alright – especially with these pastries,' Erwin smiled at him.
'Tsk,' Levi chuckled, glad Erwin liked it but he knew his baking wasn't the best.
'When you retire from the corps someday you should open a bakery,' Erwin sighed as he bit into another one.
'Are you still high on drugs?' Levi wondered.
'I am being serious, I think it would be adorable to see humanities strongest soldier in a bakery.'
'Teashop,' Levi blurted out.
'Hmm?' Erwin frowned confused.
'Want to open a teashop, Guess I could sell pastries too – not that I will ever retire,' Levi mumbled.
'You should one day, you have done enough for the corps, will come buy pastries and tea every day,' Erwin smiled.
'A guy can dream huh,' Levi smiled, holding Erwin's teacup out for him.
'If it is your dream, you should chase it sometime, just don't want to lose my captain yet,'
'You won't,' Levi promised, so grateful he had Erwin still with him.
It had been nearly three weeks since they had arrived in Liberio.
Since Levi had last told him that he loved him.
He had spend another night by his bedside, but expected Hange or somebody else to come and tell him to go home, sleep, eat any minute. He knew that he should, but he didn't care that much about it, knew that it would not change anything for Levi.
Sleeping didn't help him anyway, pretty much all nights just ended with another nightmare about losing Levi.
Three weeks since their arrival in Liberio, he was still holding his hand, careful with the needles and tubes still in the back of his hand. His hand felt boney, his wrist and arm a lot skinnier. Levi had never been a big guy, but the years of fighting and training had bulked him up and Erwin hated seeing how he was wasting away. Each time he saw him, he felt Levi looked a little smaller, his height not doing him any favors either.
The bandages around his face were gone, the wounds on his face having closed over time. Erwin knew they would scar, but it was the last thing on his mind now.
He looked up as the door opened, the staff walking in with some cloths, towels and a basin of water.
'Want me to leave?' Erwin enquired but he was ignored. Looking as the staff member just roughly dragged the cloth of his arm, not even attempting to do a good job, Erwin stood up.
'Let me do it, please,' he hated how uncaring some of the staff were around Levi. Erwin realized he could be considered their enemy, but it didn't make it any easier to see how they treated the man he loved so much.
'Suit yourself,' he just shrugged, leaving the room.
Rolling up his sleeve, he took one of the cloths, dipping it into the water and squeezing most of it out. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he very carefully took Levi's left hand and laid it in his lap, washing it gently, moving onto his face then and careful lifting him up, laying him against him and washing his back and neck. Trying to be so gentle, he moved around the scars on his stomach and chest as he gently wished each bit of the body that was so familiar to him.
Even though Levi was not aware of it, it felt good that he could finally do something to help him. Levi was always so careful on his hygiene and even though Levi wasn't aware of it now, Erwin was glad to finally be doing something useful for him.
Careful around his hip, the scar from the surgery still a bright angry red, he moved down his legs, careful. He knew this body so well, yet he was so careful and gentle now.
Finishing up washing his body, he felt a little better, finally having been able to do something for Levi, as much as it didn't wake him up, at least he could do something instead of sit here and mope.
Tucking Levi in again, he sat down on the edge of the bed again, making sure he was comfortable. Running his hand over the side of his face and kissing him on his cheek, he was careful with the tube still coming from his nose. It had been one of the many tubes he had objected to, but they had been clear that he needed it to be fed.
Taking his hand again, he sat down on the chair he had been most hours of every single day and night.
'I really need you to wake up, okay?' Erwin said, biting his lips and trying to keep the tears from streaming out of his eyes.
Squeezing Levi's hand, he stood up, not wanting to cry next to him again. Kissing him on his cheek, gently, he stood up to walk to the window, at least watch the last rays of sunlight over Liberio.
Standing by the window, he looked at the birds flying out towards the harbor. He wanted to be hopeful, but it became harder with each day that passed.
'Come on, careful,' Levi said, his hands on Erwin's sides. He had just stood up, Levi holding him. It had been two weeks since Shiganshina and Erwin insisted on getting up and walking today.
'I'm careful – don't wanna fall on top of you,' Erwin told him.
'Tsk, like I can't lift you up. Who do you think carried you off that roof,' Levi told him, holding Erwin as he finally made a step, groaning as the wound in his side started to hurt.
'Wanna sit down?' Levi asked worried.
'No, let's take a few steps,' Erwin told him. As he made a few steps towards the door of the bedroom, Levi held him close, careful.
'Where do you wanna go?'
'Let's just aim for the desk,' Erwin mumbled. Sitting down at his desk with a loud groan, Levi looked concerned.
'You okay?'
'All good,' Erwin assured him with a smile.
'Where did all this come from?' Erwin enquired looking at the large stacks of paper and folders on the desk.
'Just, stuff I told Hange to take care of,' Levi threw it off the desk.
He knew it was about what they found in the basement. But Erwin hadn't asked and he hadn't told him yet. He needed Erwin to be okay before finding out what they had found in the basement.
'That is not going to help Hange do it,'
'I will actually take a look at it when you are back asleep – Hange – you know about Moblit,'
'Yeah,'
'Probably should take as much of their hands if I can right now, but you don't worry about it either, I can do it,' Levi promised him as Erwin wanted to pull him onto his bad. But instead Levi sat on his desk, worried to hurt him. As much as Erwin wanted to pretend he was fine, Levi knew the massive wound on his abdomen was still healing.
'I am not really sure what I have done in life to deserve you,' Erwin admitted, his hand still on Levi's thigh.
'You mean you found another touch starved soldier in your ranks?' Levi teased him.
'No, it is much more than that,' Erwin told him, laying his head on Levi's lap as he felt tired from the short walk.
A little surprised, Levi was not sure what to say.
'It is much more to me Levi, I feel safe with you and I care about you. When I charged with those soldiers – all I could think about was how I wanted you to succeed – and be happy,'
His heart fluttered and he wished he had the rights word to say, but all he could do was let Erwin's words sink in finally wrapping his hands around Erwin's head, caressing through his hair and gently planting a kiss on top of it.
'Sorry – you know I am not good at this – but it is more to me too,' Levi finally admitted. Erwin's hand dug into his thigh for a second and although eh knew Levi wouldn't say anything more, struggling to talk about his feelings, but this conversation had already meant the world to him.
'I am really tired, can you help me back to bed?' Erwin admitted.
'Ofcourse,'
'And stay with me tonight?' Erwin smiled as Levi got off the desk, ready to help him up again.
'Better not kick that blanket away again,'
'Sorry – I know you get cold,' Erwin blushed.
'Means you better keep me warm tonight,' Levi teased him back.
Looing up at the man he trusted the most, he was not sure if this was the moment to ask about the basement. As much he wondered what had happened there, it being the whole reason he had wanted to go there, to find those answers, he was just so grateful to be with Levi now. The last thing he wanted was to ruin this between them, just wanting to enjoy this time with him. He knew that whatever was in that basement would rock his world and as much as he had waited for so long, he was scared now.
'Everything okay?'
'Yeah – just tell me what was in that basement tomorrow, please,'
'I will, get Hange and Eren in here too,' Levi promised.
'Thank you Levi, for everything,' Erwin told him, being helped up by Levi. His arm wrapped around him now, he kissed him on his head once more, so grateful to have him by his side.
As his mother and the paths had disappeared, so had everything else.
Only darkness remained.
His body felt like it was floating and he wasn't able to make sense of anything.
He was pretty sure he had tried to open his eyes for about a hundred times by the time he finally managed to do it.
The light overwhelmed him, sending shocks of pain through his head.
Finally being able to focus, he could finally make out the big shadow standing in the light.
It was Erwin, standing by a window, looking out of it. His hand was in his pocket and he looked tired, worn out. Levi wanted to shout his name, let him know he was there, but before he could even try, Erwin around, looking surprised.
'Levi!' Erwin hurried back towards the bed, before Levi could even attempt to respond Erwin nearly lunged himself against Levi, pressing his face in the crook of his neck as he started sobbing. Levi tried to move his arm, but it was like his body wasn't his.
'I was so scared you wouldn't wake,' Erwin sobbed as he pressed his face against Levi's neck. He wanted to move his arm, lay his hand on Erwin's back, let him know it was okay.
But his body still wouldn't move.
'I love you so much,' Erwin just sobbed, pressing his wet face against Levi's, not being able to contain his tears, his emotions. All the worries he had felt over these past three weeks suddenly came flooding out.
Finally backing off, Erwin couldn't get a grip of his breathing as he looked at Levi, taking in every inch of his face for any sign that he was really with him again.
'I love you so much,' Erwin just sobbed again, his hand under Levi's jaw as his thumb caressed his face.
Closing his eyes for a second, he finally managed to take a deep breathe, opening his eye again.
'Erwin,' he finally managed the mumble, hardly audible. Almost immediately, he passed out again.
Erwin gently kissed him on his forehead again, just so grateful he had finally at last woken up he didn't even care that there hadn't been much more interaction. Levi finally opening his eyes and knowing who he was, that was all that mattered to him. That was all he needed.
Thank you so much for reading, I hope the ending of this chapter makes up for the ending of the last. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter!
I will be traveling this week and although the next chapter is ready to be updated, I am flying on wednesday. If all goes right with my flight the chapter will be up wednesday, but if not, please hang on another day, I will upload it on thursday! :)