Thanks for the reviews DS2010 and Guest!

They explored the entire castle, scanning every room and opening every door. The castle was eerily still, as if its life had been frozen mid-sentence. The bedrooms looked as if their occupants had just walked out one day and disappeared. Only the dust on the mantlepieces and cobwebs on the ceiling showed the passage of time.

Ren wondered, not for the first time, what had happened to the family that had lived here. At first, he had assumed they had died of old age. But looking at the life they had left behind, it seemed more and more likely that their deaths had been sudden.

Aside from the library, they found nothing of particular use in the castle. Even the library, filled to the brim with books on the nature of the Force and the universe, was only speculatively useful. To read all of the books in it would take a lifetime and there was no guarantee anything in the books would have any bearing on their current predicament anyway.

When Rey finally admitted they would gain nothing more from staying in the castle, they headed back to the ship to finish the bread they'd started the other day. While they worked, they snacked on fruit and vegetables Rey had grown, and chatted about mundane things. It was refreshing to talk about uncontroversial things and Ren found himself relaxing more and more in her company. Rey, it seemed, felt the same way and every now and then she would even laugh at something he said. As if he were funny. Was he funny?

When the bread came out of the oven, Ren poked it, wondering why it was so flat. They had clearly messed it up after all.

"Some breads are flat." Rey argued, placing it on the table. "That doesn't mean we can't eat it."

Ren bit his tongue and took a seat opposite her. Rey cut into the bread and handed him a slice. He smelled it cautiously, unsure whatever they had created really was bread.

Ren took a small bite and chewed it slowly.

"Well?" Rey asked, staring at him intently.

Ren swallowed and shrugged. It did taste somewhat like bread. "Could use some bantha butter but it's alright I guess."

Rey's eyes widened and she bit into her own piece of bread. "It's great, what are you talking about?" Rey exclaimed with her mouth full.

Ren let out a short laugh, and Rey grinned as she swallowed.

"Your standards are so low." Ren said.

"I'm sorry my life hasn't been as luxurious as yours." Rey said, rolling her eyes with a smile on her face.

Ren felt his heart sink, despite the obviously joking tone she used. It pained him to think of her growing up all alone, fending for herself on a desert planet. She deserved so much better. She deserved the galaxy.

"It wasn't all bad though." Rey said quickly, as if sensing his reaction. "I had my AT-AT, rations, ships to scavenge..."

"That's not a life." Ren said, and Rey crossed her arms.

"It was my life." She said.

"I mean it's not a life worth living." Ren said, and Rey raised an eyebrow. Clearly, she didn't like this statement any more than the last.

"It taught me a lot." Rey said. "I learned the mechanics of ships and vehicles, I learned how to read the desert, and how to protect myself. It made me who I am."

"But it had no purpose." Ren said, and Rey narrowed her eyes at him.

"It had plenty of purpose. I had to stay alive until my parents came back for me. That was my purpose." Rey said and Ren felt his heart break for the child she had been.

"Didn't you ever dream of leaving?" Ren asked. "Of seeing the rest of the galaxy?"

"Of course, I did." Rey said with a nostalgic look. "When I was really young - I don't know what age - I found an old Rebel Alliance captain's helmet and took it home. I used to imagine what her life was like. What adventures she went on. I even created a doll that was supposed to represent her."

"Then why didn't you leave?" Ren asked, already knowing the answer.

"If I left then I might miss my parents when they came back." Rey said quietly, and Ren could see that there was still hope in her eyes. Despite everything, she still hadn't given up on them.

"You wasted your childhood, waiting for people who abandoned you." Ren said and Rey flinched, the sadness in her eyes making him wish he could take back his comment. But no, she needed to understand.

"You can't spend your whole life waiting for others, Rey." Ren said. "You need to move on."

Rey swallowed thickly. "You sound like Luke."

Ren blinked. This he hadn't expected. "I take it back then." He said, half jokingly.

Rey laughed, and Ren couldn't help but smile a little.

"I've noticed, the only thing the Jedi and the Sith agree on is that you should cut off attachments to other people." Rey said. "But I don't think that's a good way to live."

"The Dark Side doesn't forbid attachments. It doesn't forbid anything." Ren said.

"No, but it thinks altruistic love is weakness." Rey said, shaking her head. "Love, for a Dark Sider, is about possession and control. It's not about caring for the other person."

Ren frowned, realizing she was probably right. He looked at Rey, his stomach twisting with guilt as he realized that was exactly how he had been thinking about her. He'd wanted to possess and control her. He hadn't cared what she wanted as long as she was with him. He'd been so obsessed with capturing her, even going so far as to convince himself that he was doing her a favor by taking her prisoner. Maybe she would be safer with him but was it what she wanted? He hadn't even stopped to consider her desires except to dismiss them as deluded.

"Love for the Jedi is universal compassion." Rey continued, pulling him out of his thoughts. "They don't believe in romantic love. They don't even let parents raise their own children. Every Jedi is supposed to love everyone but be attached to no one. Is that really realistic?"

"No." Ren said, immediately. "Of course it's not."

Rey let out a sigh, seeming relieved by this response. "Luke made me feel like I was...defective...or something for not being able to let go of my parents. But when I look back on my life, I think it was the hope I had that they would return that got me through those years on Jakku. Who knows where I would be now if I hadn't held onto that hope. So I'm not about to let go of the hope now. Maybe that makes me a bad Jedi, but I don't think I can live any other way."

Ren looked at her, finding her words somehow both validating and inspiring even though they went against everything he had just claimed to believe. "You're not defective." He said, unable to find any other words.

Rey smiled, a quiet laugh escaping her lips. "Thanks."

"And I hate Luke for making you feel like that." Ren added, resentfully. He knew all too well how she felt.

Rey's eyes softened and she shook her head. "You know when I first found Luke Skywalker, I expected him to have all the answers. I thought he was like some kind of god-"

"You and half the galaxy." Ren muttered darkly.

"But he was just a man." Rey said. "I was so disappointed at first that I got angry with him. And then when I found out what he did to you...I was furious with him."

Ren felt her words fill his stomach with butterflies. No one had ever supported him the way she did.

"But then I realized later that maybe I'd been expecting too much of him. He was just a man who'd lost faith in himself and the world and was trying his best to live with his mistakes." Rey said.

"He felt like a failure because he couldn't save me like he saved his father." Ren sneered. "His savior complex was shattered the night he tried to kill me in my sleep."

"He felt like he failed you, yes." Rey said. "And your parents and the galaxy. But he also lost you and I think that was what hurt the most."

Ren blinked, suddenly furious. "No, Rey. He never even liked me. He wanted to kill me-"

"He loved you-" Rey began, but Ren stood up, refusing to listen to this.

"No." He snapped, pointing a finger at her. "Don't you dare tell me that after everything he did."

Rey opened her mouth to argue and then shut it again with a sigh. Good, Ren thought viciously. He grabbed his plate and angrily shoved it into the washing droid, nearly breaking it in the process.

"You should have this." Rey said, and Ren spun around to look at her. He froze when he saw what she was holding. In her hand was his grandfather's lightsaber. Possessive desire filled his chest as he remembered the Son's taunts and he eyed the lightsaber greedily.

"It's yours." Rey continued. "It belonged to your grandfather."

Ren forced himself to look up at Rey. "My family gave this to you." He said, unable to keep the bitterness from seeping into his voice. "You should be the one to keep it."

"They only gave it to me because they couldn't give it to you." Rey said, shaking her head.

Ren looked away, unable to maintain eye contact any longer. "No." He said. "They gave it to you for a reason. You're everything they wanted in a child."

"I'm not you." Rey said quietly.

"Exactly." Ren said wryly.

"Ben, you know that's not what I meant." Rey sighed, running a hand down her face. "Just take the lightsaber."

"Rey..."

"I want you to have it okay?" Rey said, and Ren felt his chest tighten. He stared at the lightsaber, torn between his desire to possess it and the resentment he felt at not having been given it in the first place. Did he really want to be reminded of the fact that his family had chosen to give the lightsaber to Rey instead of him every time he held it?

"You won't have a lightsaber if I take this." Ren said.

Rey shrugged. "I'll make my own once we're out of here."

She took his hand, placing the lightsaber in it. "Please." She said. "Take it."

Ren felt his heart swell as he looked into her eyes. They were wide and gentle and filled with a concern for him that made him feel weak in the knees. He could feel her hands touching his, the warmth of her skin seeming to seep into his. He couldn't refuse her. He would do anything for her.

"Okay." He said, his heart sinking when Rey withdrew her hands. He looked down at the lightsaber in his hands, turning it over. How many times had he seen it in Luke's office? How many times had he wondered whether one day Luke would finally pass it on to him? But he never had. He'd never found him worthy. Suddenly, Ren felt the urge to destroy the lightsaber out of spite.

"Don't." Rey said, and Ren realized she had read his intentions through the Force. "You'll regret it if you do."

Slowly, Ren attached the lightsaber to his belt, trying to smother the destructive anger that still filled his heart. He wouldn't destroy the lightsaber because Rey didn't want him to. He would keep it safe for her sake. And he would keep it despite Luke's wishes. A vindictive joy surged within him at this thought and he hoped that, wherever he was, his uncle knew that Rey had given him the lightsaber. He hoped it caused him grief.

"I hope you know I never replaced you." Rey said, suddenly and Ren felt his heart constrict painfully. Fury coursed through his veins. Fury and pain that his family had ignored and rejected him only to pour all of their love into a random girl. He should hate her, he realized. But he could never hate her.

"It doesn't matter." Ren said, his own voice betraying his true feelings.

He had called her nothing. He'd said she had no place in this story and he'd told her she had no family. He'd tried to turn her against his parents and Luke. And it was all because he was jealous. He couldn't deny it. He was desperately jealous of Rey.

"Yes, it does." Rey said, and Ren stared into her eyes, wishing he could drown in them. He wasn't just jealous of Rey, he was jealous she chose his family over him. He wanted her to be on his side and stay with him. He'd asked her to abandon all her other relationships and choose him. Only him. Because he wanted her all to himself.

"Not a day went by we didn't think of you." Rey said, her words melting just a bit of the ice in his chest. "You were never forgotten. Not by any of us."

"Not a day went by I didn't think of you too." Ren said quietly, wishing he could tell her just how he felt. But he didn't want to overwhelming her with the intensity of his feelings. It would surely only scare her away.

Rey smiled sadly and Ren reached out tentatively for her hand. Rey looked surprised but immediately took his hand, slipping her fingers through his. Ren took a step towards her and was surprised when Rey did the same. He looked down at her, her face inches from his. His eyes roved over her eyes, her cheeks, her lips...he wanted to kiss her so badly.

He leaned in ever so slowly, his heart pounding in his chest. For a moment, Rey seemed to reciprocate, her face tilting up towards his, before something flickered behind her eyes and she pulled back. She took a step back and just like that the moment was gone.