Sharks in the Swimming Pool

by CodependentLiza

Profoundly submissive Bella is assigned to profoundly dominant lab partner Edward in an innovative sex-ed. program that will expand their understanding of the possibilities for romantic partnerships as they negotiate their own. Pushing boundaries of propriety and comfort, they learn to appreciate Bella's vulnerability, Edward's strength, and the gifts their pairing brings. AH/cc's

14. Chapter 14

You are precious. Your are good. You are important and valuable to me. I will take care to make sure you are safe and happy and well.

Love, God

p.s. That doesn't mean you will get what you THINK will make you safe and happy and well, or what you want. And you do have to help me make it happen, and please understand those terms apply spiritually only—I don't have control over the physical world, or do you think I would let all the bad things happen? No, I would not. I love all the world, including you.

Now go love the world too.

That's what I say to myself to try and kick myself into being brave when I want to hide, and into avoiding the death cycles of pain avoidance-causing more pain-causing more avoidance that are so easy to fall into. Hope it helps you too.

Love and gratitude to Stephenie Meyer who created the character universe in which our emotions have a safe place to explore. And understand. And heal.

Xo liza

After leaving Edward holding Bella with a practiced-seeming confidence, soothing her with skill he would have found hard to believe could exist in a 17-year old at the start of this eventful day, Bob heads back to the waiting room, smiling at how spot-on dominant Edward's reference to spanking Isabella for running away was, and how profoundly dominant his refusal to ascribe her any responsibility for her own behavior was—and how brilliantly designed to lift the weight of shame off of her too-small shoulders.

He is so light at the thought that a vulnerable young woman is, for once, getting exactly what she needs to heal, to have a chance at a happy, healthy life, that he breaks into a whistle, though it breaks off when he catches sight of two worried teenagers staring at the doors Carlisle had just disappeared through a few minutes before Bob's own exit.

Carlisle had asked his uncharacteristically quiet daughter and her concerned boyfriend—who seemed torn between worry for Alice and worry for Bella, his eyes going from Alice's face to Carlisle's own throughout their short conversation—to stop by Bella's home in a little bit to pick up clothes for her to go home in, suggesting they give the Chief another 15 or 20 minutes to collect himself after the emotional interlude at the hospital before they leave.

Alice and Jasper had been reassured by the news that the ankle wasn't broken, even a little bit, that the swelling was already going down, and that there had been no serious physical injury as a result of their failure in Bella-sitting, but they both remained worried about the emotional fall-out for all concerned, including themselves.

So when the man Jasper had identified as a psychology professor at the tech college he attends and had checked in at the lobby desk asking for Bella's (and Edward's) room—and had been allowed back after the receptionist's checking with Dr. Cullen—exits again, they can't help but approach him and ask for news.

"Hi! I'm Alice, Bella's best friend and Edward's sister. Were you just back there with them?" Alice leads off, running up to the middle-aged stranger with the acne scars, overweight belly, and kind eyes.

He smiled at her, his eyes even kinder now. "Yes, I'm Professor Robert Johnson from Port Angeles Tech; I'm a friend of them both, I guess you could say. It's nice to meet you, Alice," and he sticks his hand out towards her and shakes hers heartily when she places her small hand eagerly in his large one.

"You too, Professor Johnson!" Alice chirps back, to which Bob immediately replies, "Please, call me 'Bob.'"

"Okay, Bob," Alice immediately complies, not sounding rude or presumptuous but simply happy to have another friend in her circle, and taking back her hand to put on her hip, she turns and motions to Jasper saying, "And this is my fiancé, Jasper Whitlock. He's best friends with Edward, and he loves Bella too."

Jasper smiles at this introduction, stepping forward to shake Bob's hand once, in a mutually-manfully manner, adding, "Loves her but didn't take the best care of her tonight. The escape attempt is on me, I'm afraid."

Bob is very happy indeed to see this insight and support from within Edward and Bella's support network, and easily adds, "As was the rescue, I understand. Nice work."

Jasper just nods at this, accepting the compliment but not highlighting it with a response. Besides, he has other things on his mind. "Are you the reason Edward came home with Bella the way he did today?"

Bob nods emphatically. "Yes, that one's on me – I guess he's probably not had much of a chance to talk to you both about that."

Jasper quickly agrees. "No sir, he has not, and Alice and I have a few minutes before we have to head out to get her clothes; would you be willing to fill us in just a little, so we can do a better job with her in the future?"

Bob is all too happy with this plan, and looks around in the deserted waiting area for a quiet corner. Finding the most removed and private conversation space, he waves them over, saying, "Absolutely; let's talk."

After an extremely enlightening (for Jasper) and engaging (for Alice) conversation with Bob, Alice and Jasper leave for Charlie's house, where he waves them up to Bella's room to pack up some clothes and belongings. Jasper really understands, after seeing her room and primed by the new framework from Bob, how "little" she is, and after they drop the clothes at the hospital and head back home he researches the terms "age regression" and "dominance/submission" in his Social Sciences database (a birthday gift from the Cullens his first birthday there) while he waits for Edward and Bella to return. He even prints out some relevant research papers to share with Edward, which he does later that night after the big family meeting in the living room that Bella sleeps through on Edward's lap.

While the other members of the family go through the house, safety-proofing Bella spaces and preparing for the other changes to come, Jasper has a conversation with Edward in which Jasper identifies the Daddy-little girl dynamic and calls it that. Edward freaks out at first, "What did you call me?" and gets a little mad, thinking it's disgusting, but also intrigued at how right it feels. They talk it through, and Edward decides to try it out with Bella the next day.

As it turns out, of course, he tries it out sooner than that, and is shocked at both how right it feels, and how effective it is.

Bella is simply relieved.

The next morning, it's Bella who wakes up first, gradually then suddenly completely aware of a wetness spreading against her back.

Her first horrified thought is that she has wet the bed, but the consciousness that horror provokes helps her feel clearly that the wetness is altogether in the wrong place for that scenario.

Wriggling her body a bit as she tests out her theories of what is causing it, she wakes up Edward—who is instantly aware of both the wetness and the cause of it.

Smiling with the joy, albeit a little sheepishly with the inconvenient messiness, of it, Edward leans down and kisses Bella on the head.

"Good morning, Baby Girl," he says, and Bella squeaks at both the sentiment and the rough voice in which it's uttered.

Feeling shy in the sunshine of a new day, Bella moves to hide by folding at her waist and bringing her legs up, rubbing up the wet length of Edward with her bare bottom.

Edward groans, laughs, and moves quickly, pushing her body his arm's length away and sitting up, then pulling Bella's shirt off of her.

"Daddy!" she protests, covering her breasts with folded arms, completely naked now on the bed.

Edward is busy wiping her off with her t-shirt, starting with her bottom and moving up to her back, trying to keep any mess away from the part where it would cause a permanent mess, although a happy one.

Cheerful beyond measure at both his welcome, early-morning-satisfying predicament and most especially his love's reaction to it, Edward laughs again as he finishes wiping Bella's back, checking with his hand to make sure it is dry. "What, baby girl?

"I'm naked!" she protests.

"I know," he replies, kissing her cheek and throwing her t-shirt to the floor after cleaning himself off too, then standing up off the bed. "I like you that way."

He walks around in front of where she's still sitting, arms across her chest and knees now pulled up in front of her, and extends his hand to her, completely naked himself. "Shower, m'lady?" he teases, and she can't help but smile, studiously avoiding looking at his naked body but aware of it anyway.

She takes his hand with one of hers and Edward quickly pulls her off the bed in front of him, keeping her arm's length away from his front with a hand placed on her opposite hip while not letting go of the hand she offered.

They move this way through the bedroom and into the bathroom beyond, Edward keeping her in motion until they're at the shower, where he pauses to turn on the water. Testing it every couple seconds, he waits until it is just right before lifting her up and forward with a hand under her elbow.

"In you go," he says as she moves forward into the spray, and he pulls the glass door closed after her. "Daddy's going to go find washcloths and towels, Sweetheart. Wait there for me."

And he moves off to do so, stopping first to use the toilet, then to page Alice on the walkie-talkies that were repurposed the night before from outdoors Bella-tracking to indoors Bella-caregiving. After meticulously washing his hands (Edward is fastidious, soiled t-shirts not withstanding), he picks up the unit charging on the bathroom counter and says quietly, "Ali? Are you up?"

He waits a half-heartbeat before hearing back, rather more loudly than he wished, "Yes! Yes we are! Is she ready for me? Can I come in now?"

Edward smiles, says, "Is Jazz there too?" There's a little more than one heartbeat now, and then Jasper picks up. "Yeah, Edward, I'm here too. You want us both? How is she this morning?"

"Good, she's doing well so far, in the shower and I'm about to join her, but I thought maybe Jazz if you were up for it you could take her from me when I'm done with her, give me a couple minutes to shower off myself."

"Absolutely. When do you want us?"

"Five minutes work?"

"Perfect. Door open?"

"Yeah, except for the Bella latch on the bedroom door."

"Good test run then." Jasper was referring to the unlatch key that was now hanging at the top of the outside of Edward's doorframe to the hallway, where they had left it to be able to undo the magnetic lock Emmett had installed on the inside of Edward's door the night before after some quick internet research and a trip to the hardware store in Port Angeles.

Bella of course hears whispers of all of this, and is both mortified and elated at the intimacy, plus afraid and intensely excited about what comes next. She squeezes her eyes shut, clasps her bent arms up in front of her, and turns fully into the hot water spray, losing herself in the warmth and comfort of the moment along with a brand-new certainty she's just testing out that, whatever happens next, it will be okay.

This suspicion is confirmed when she hears the shower door open and re-close behind her, then feels Edward's arms around her, pulling her close, her back to his front. "Come here, baby girl," he says, and she starts to cry, relief turning into tears turning into sobs…happy, happy sobs.

Edward for his part is ecstatic, and soaps up a soft washcloth with body wash before slowly lathering his little girl's body, neck to breasts to shoulders to armpits to belly, to gently-between-the-legs then gently-down the legs, then back to her bum and finally to her feet and each individual toe, Edward squatting on the shower floor, telling Bella to hold on to his shoulders for balance as he pulls up first one foot then the other.

Edward's just rising back to standing, reaching out with his right arm to wrap around a now squeaky-clean Bella standing in the shower spray while the other hand rinses and wrings out the washcloth then hangs it in the shower, when he hears voices—hi and low—moving towards them from the bedroom.

"Here come Ali and Jasper, Sweetheart," he says to Bella, who has frozen at the sound of other people approaching while she's naked in the shower. With Edward.

Edward ignores her frozenness and leans forward to get a handful of shampoo, then stands back to start working it through Bella's hair, careful to always keep himself between his girl and the shower door and to keep his girl in the shower's warm spray.

Matter-of-factly massaging the shampoo into Bella's scalp, Edward calls over his shoulder as the bathroom door bursts open after a very perfunctory knock, "Almost done. Towels are on the toilet seat; we'll use my robe on the bathroom door until we can get one for her."

Jasper carefully closes the bathroom door behind him with a click, then engages the lock in the doorknob as Alice says, "No need, Edward, I brought a new one for her! It's pink and super soft! She'll look beautiful!"

Edward laughs as he removes the lower shower head to direct its gentle spray down Bella's head and back, carefully rinsing the shampoo out of her hair while the top shower head still covers her in warmth. "I should have known, Ali. What else do you have for her?"

"I have a whole new wardrobe for her, Edward! She's going to love it! I brought an outfit with so she doesn't have to wear your old sweats today."

"I kind of like her wearing my old sweats, but we can give your outfit a try, Al. There aren't any strings or removable ties on it, are there?" Edward asks, casually, as he works conditioner through Bella's hair, one hand heavy on her far shoulder as she trembles from the intensity of her hope and worry fighting each other.

Ali answers in a pouty voice, "No, Jasper made me put those back for later. It was a really cute jumpsuit too!"

"Don't worry, Ed, I checked all the clothes over. They should be safe," Jasper answers Edward, who's so happy to hear that he ignores the "Ed" and just says, "Thanks, man, I appreciate it."

"No problem. You just about ready to hand her over?"

Edward answers, "Just about. Final rinse time," while Jasper moves to the pile of fluffy towels on the closed toilet and picks one up, stretching it out in his arms and moving to in front of the shower door.

Alice puts her hands on her hips at being gently nudged out of the way, and objects, saying, "Jazzy, don't you think I should be the one to help Bella dry off? She's going to be embarrassed; she's shy about being naked."

Alice wasn't shy about being naked and had been known to go streaking down the hallways of the house for one reason or another, usually involving forgetting her intended outfit in some place other than her room, but she was feeling very protective of Bella and didn't think she'd appreciate a boy that wasn't Edward drying her off.

Edward let Jasper handle it, and was rewarded by hearing him explain patiently, "I know, Al, but we talked about this. We can't let Bella be embarrassed about being vulnerable around the people taking care of her, and I'm Edward's back-up. That was your idea, remember? And it was a good one, and I'm going to take care of her now, and you're right, she's going to be extremely embarrassed, but if we do a good job with it, she'll get over it quickly and learn that there's nothing to be worried about, we're not going to tease her, we're just going to keep her safe. And I'm the one who's twice her size, so I have to be the one keeping her physically safe. You get to work on making her happy, right?"

Alice was listening to this, reevaluating what they had discussed the night before while Bella slept in Edward's arms on the sofa and the others moved around putting certain things to rights or in place for her that they hadn't thought necessary before, and it had all made perfect sense then when it was distant and theoretical but now it was extremely immediate and Alice had to ask herself again if she thought it was the right thing for her friend.

Her hands on her hips, her head tilted to the side, Alice stared at her sweet, handsome, shy, intelligent, strong boyfriend/soulmate and realized that he was right. If Alice tried to help Bella, Bella wouldn't let her. She'd insist on doing everything herself, and she'd try to negotiate what she wore and what she ate and she wouldn't feel safe.

But Jasper, her Jasper, looked determined in a way she had never seen before, determined to keep Bella safe from herself, and Alice felt a thrill of attraction to both Jasper and Bella as she realized that this new level of intimacy was going to include her too in a way she could never manage alone; that her lover was basically adopting her best friend that she felt such possessive attraction to and that was going to increase her physical possession of Bella too, and if it changed their relationship from equal friends to big sister-little sister, that—she was already certain-was even better than just friends could ever be.

So she quickly dropped her hands and said, "Okay, Jazzy, just be careful with her. I'll get the door!"

Jasper asked, "You ready, Ed?" and as Edward answered, "Yep," Alice was already opening the door to naked Edward leaning in and replacing the shower head, his arm still around naked Bella who is now hiding her head in his shoulder.

"Ready for her?" Edward asks back over his shoulder, wrapping both arms around his girl now, one at her waist and one under her arms, as he checks over his shoulder then, seeing Jasper at the doorway with a towel outstretched, lifts her and turns towards the doorway while carrying her forward.

Bella starts to struggle in his arms, but doesn't have long before Edward is reaching her out of the shower and into Jasper's towel-lined embrace, Jasper moving quickly to wrap his own arms around Bella from over her shoulders, providing a bear-hug around her and Edward's arms.

They all three stand there a moment, Alice clapping her hands and saying, squealing, really, "Good morning, Bella! Oh, I am so happy you're here! It was hard to sleep last night, but now we have all day together, and tomorrow too, and the day after that!"

Ignoring Alice for the time being, Edward asks Jasper in an undertone, "You got a good grip on her?"

Jasper nods, says, "Yeah, you can pull back now. I've got her," then he echoes that with words directed to Bella, trying to stay affixed to Edward, "Come here, baby girl, I'll dry you off while your Daddy gets his own shower, okay?"

As Jasper was saying those strategically-shocking words, Edward was reluctantly pulling his arms back while Bella froze, not blushing this time but blanching, not really believing that Jasper—Alice's Jasper—was using that word about Edward too. It was one thing for Edward to whisper that in her ear, like he did last night when he carried her up to bed saying, "Come on, sweet girl, Daddy's tired and I bet you are too."

No, this was different—it wasn't at all private, and it broke all the rules of normal teenaged interaction, and it was simultaneously so enormously reassuring and so very humiliating. Her eyes open almost-impossibly wide, Bella's head shoots up to look at Jasper and see if he is laughing at her, her body rigid and ready to fight if her self-preservation requires it.

But what she sees in Jasper's eyes, the kind tenderness and protective determination, melts her, and instead of trying to fight she starts to cry, and caves into Jasper's arms.

Jasper recognizes this immediately as the victory it is, and pulls her tightly against his chest, his arms staying outside the towel but starting to move against her back and sides, drying her off. "Good girl, baby girl; good girl for trusting your Uncle Jasper," he says, and Bella sobs at that then throws her half-wet arms around his neck and tucks her head under his chin and cries some more, squeezing her eyes shut but relaxing her body as Jasper folds her into his lap as he sits on the toilet lid, handing all the towels but one off to Alice and using the towel in his hand to start drying Bella as carefully and tenderly as Edward had washed her, beginning with her toes and working his way up her body.

After drying between her legs and her behind and lower back, he says to Alice, who is watching, fascinated and uncharacteristically quiet, "Hand me her panties, Al," and then, after Alice hands them over, he gets one side on then says to her again, "Help me slide them up, ok?" and they do, together, one on each side, Jasper gently tipping Bella out of his lap to standing between his legs as they get up towards her waist.

"Stand up for just a minute, Darlin'," Jasper says in an undertone while he and Alice straighten the waistband; "Good girl, this won't be long."

"Ali, you want to grab her pants too please?" and Alice rushes to the counter for the blue velour pants she had ordered a month ago when she was still hoping to get Bella over for a sleep-over on her own account.

Crouching down at Jasper's and Bella's feet, Alice has the pants ready and says up to Bella, "Lift your feet, Bella, so I can put these on you!"

Bella freezes at Alice's voice, but Jasper knocks her off her feet with one bent leg, making her fall into his lap again, and leaving her feet to dangle so that Ali easily pulls the pants on and up to Bella's knees.

Ignoring Bella now, Alice says to Jasper, "OK, Jazzy, they're on half-way; put her down again so I can pull them all the way up."

Jasper grins and says, "Yes, ma'am," dropping Bella off his leg again so she's standing, the whole time wrapped in his arms so she has no control over her body whatsoever. "Up we go again, Sweetheart," he says as he pulls her to standing, standing up himself to make it easier for Alice to adjust the waist band.

Just at this moment, the shower turns off and the door opens and Edward steps out with the towel wrapped around his waist that he had thrown over the shower side before stepping in with Bella. "Throw me a towel, please, Allie," he asks, and she pulls away from the standing Bella now getting her back rubbed down dry long enough to chuck one of the remaining towels his direction before turning back to watch Jasper work.

"Thanks, Ali; nice work, Jazz," Edward says as he starts in on his dripping hair and then his chest, watching his best friend's handling of his girl with admiring, just-short-of-jealous eyes before moving off to his room to get dressed, saying, "Be right back."

Jasper "Mm-hmms" a response to Edward, saying, "Ali, throw me another towel too; let's get her hair wrapped up, okay?"

Alice shakes out a towel and hands it over, and Jasper rubs down Bella's hair, then holds the slightly-damp towel back out to Alice, saying, "Wrap her hair up for me, would you Al?" and Alice does so, telling Bella first to bend her head, then to lift it back up.

"There! You're all set, Bella! Now we can get your shirt on!"

"I'll get that, thanks Alice," Edward says as he moves back into the bathroom, clothed and his own hair toweled-dry. He heads straight for the remaining pile of clothes, and Alice puts her hands on her hips as she watches him pick up the lacy tank-top she had selected for Bella instead of a bra.

"That's my job, Edward!" Alice protests, and Edward grins at her, saying, "And you picked perfectly, Al, thank you," but not pausing as he moves back to his girl, surrounding her with his body in front of her, Jasper's still in back.

"Keep hold of her waist, will you Jazz?" Edward asks, and not waiting for a response, he reaches over and removes the towel around her shoulders, throwing it on the floor to the side. "Lift your arms, Isabella baby," Edward says sternly, and she does, her eyes closed tightly, tears still leaking out a little bit but the sobbing down to one little chest heave every few seconds.

"Good girl," Edward says emphatically, as he pulls the tank top to her waist and pats her now fabric-covered belly. "Good girl," he repeats, leaning in to kiss her cheek just in front of her left ear.

"Shirt, Ali?" Edward asks, not turning around to look at his sister but simply reaching out his arm behind him.

Alice "Hhmphs," but she quickly darts to the last of the pile by the sink and pulls up a pink t-shirt that has a sparkly crown and "Princess" on it in one hand and the matching blue velour zip up sweatshirt in the other.

Handing the t-shirt to Edward, Alice watches as Edward raises up Bella's hands above her head, keeps them there with one hand while the other pulls the shirt on over the hands, then down her arms and over her head, then down to her waist.

"Good job, baby girl, almost done," Edward croons as he lowers her hands again, one in each of his own, then grabs her around the waist and pulls her around and into his chest. "Jasper, do you want to do the honors with the sweatshirt?" and Jasper stands up behind her now and reaches for the sweatshirt from Alice, then slides it on first one arm then the other, leaning in to kiss Bella on the neck below each ear and say, "Good job, Bella darlin, thanks for being such a good girl for your Uncle Jazz."

And with that, he pulls the sweatshirt snug over her shoulders and steps away, patting her gently several times on the side of her bum as he goes.

Once he's separated, Jasper stands and looks at Bella in Edward's arms, and Edward looks back at Jasper, a big smile on his face. "Well that was pretty awesome. Thanks, man."

And Jasper grins back, saying, "Yeah, it was. My pleasure, brother," then turning to Alice and saying, "Let's go tell the crew downstairs that these two are almost ready for breakfast."

Alice claps her hands in final approval with the whole situation as it is continuing to unfold, and says, "Yay! Breakfast, Bella! We're having blueberry pancakes, your favorite!"

Then turning to Edward, she says, "Don't take too long, Edward, Bella's hungry!"

And just then, Bella's stomach growls, and both the men laugh while Alice says, "See?" then lunges in to kiss Bella on the blushing cheek before skipping out of the bathroom, Jasper leading the way.

"Let's fix your hair then, Baby Girl," Edward says after he hears his bedroom door close firmly, and the sound of the magnetic lock being coaxed back in place.

Reassured there's no escaping him, Edward marches Bella to a spot in front of the mirror, then lets go of her for a moment to gather up all the towels on the floor, toss them in the hamper, and retrieve the hair dryer and a comb from an under-counter drawer.

Bella is just summoning the will to turn and make a run for it when Edward is back behind her, a hand on her stomach, leaning both of them forward to plug in the hair dryer. Stepping them back to standing, Edward drops the hand on her body and unwinds the towel over her hair as Bella blushes madly and looks anywhere but straight ahead into the mirror.

Combing her hair out first, Edward soon has the hair dryer running and is matter-of-factly working his way through drying Bella's long hair, stepping forward and squeezing her against the counter with his body every time she seems about to make a break for it.

Finally, when he's almost done and working on the front of her right side, he steps forward and stays there, pressing her between his own bulky body and the countertop. Setting the dryer down when he's finished, he rests his palms against the counter's edge, staring at the two of them in the mirror.

"Bella, baby," he says, "Look at me."

Bella's face is burning; she shakes her head and looks away.

Edward moves his right hand to the front of her pants, his middle finger pressing up in between. "Look now, or we'll just have to shower all over again."

This shocks Bella into looking up. Seeing him looking back, she whimpers and looks down again.

That was enough for him. "Beautiful," he says, then kisses her on the cheek and steps back. Gathering up her hair, he puts it in a ponytail using the blue scrunchie Alice had brought with the clothes. It's a little lop-sided, but it stays, and Edward grins and says, "Not bad for a first attempt," kisses her on the other cheek, and pulls Bella out of the bathroom by one hand, switching off the lights as he goes.

Bella pulls a little at the door, towards the interior of the room, saying shyly, "Edward, I'm barefoot."

Edward glances down, and says, "Me too, babydoll. No socks and shoes up here anymore; it's part of the new rules."

And with that he has the door unlocked and open, and is pulling Bella through it.

"What rules?" Bella asks, trailing behind Edward and running a little to catch up.

At the top of the stairs, Edward stops, turns, and scoops her up in his arms. Embarrassed, and comforted not to have to be going down to face the Cullens on her own two feet, Bella turns into him, hiding her face against his neck. "Bella rules," Edward answers, descending carefully but quickly, then striding past the living room, dining room, and into the kitchen and breakfast room where the rest of the family is waiting.

"Good morning!" erupts as a chorus from the rest of the family sitting around the table or working in the kitchen (Esme) or lounging in the window seat in the sun (Emmett). Emmett jumps up from the cushion and pulls out Edward's customary chair nearest the entry, but then Jasper clears his throat and says, "Maybe you'd better switch with me," standing as he does.

Edward pauses, looks at how much farther Bella would have to run from that side of the table to get to any of the four exits from the room (not counting the window which is shut tight at the moment), and agrees. "Thanks, Jasper," he says, both for the idea and for the seat, passing him on the way.

Jasper (in the dry shirt he switched to with a pit stop in his own room after helping Edward with Bella) reaches out and slides his hand down Bella's head as he goes by, responds, "That's what I'm here for," then sits down in Edward's customary seat. Dr. Cullen has folded away the newspaper and clears his throat. "I guess that's what we're all here for this morning. Did you both sleep alright?" he asks the bundle of Isabella on Edward's lap, and Edward says, "We both slept great, Dad; thanks. The ankle doesn't seem to be bothering her at all this morning."

"That's good news. Why don't we head into my study after breakfast and check the swelling? It's possible the Advil and icing last night was all it needed; I have a feeling at least some of the pain was amplified by other emotions."

As Carlisle was making this suggestion, Jasper was passing around the breakfast platters heaped with food, Rosalie was pouring water and fresh-squeezed orange juice, and Alice was running the espresso machine (everyone had their standing orders).

Esme came around from the kitchen island, stopping at Edward and Bella's place, and leaning in to kiss Bella's exposed cheek. "Good morning, darling," she said, speaking to the back of Bella's head, "don't you want to eat breakfast with us this morning?"

Bella was so embarrassed, but she couldn't ignore kind Mrs. Cullen, so she tried to sit up (as much as Edward would let her), stared down at the floor and said, very quietly, "Thank you so much, Mrs. Cullen, but I'm not hungry." Then she tried to stand up out of Edward's lap and said, "I should go home now."

Edward just curled her right back up in his lap, saying to her, "Over my dead body, sweetheart," then looking up at his mom to say, "I'll eat, then I'll feed her, Mom; don't worry."

Esme was still leaning against the table, now running her hand down Bella's ponytail, tucking a few tendrils behind her ear, then reaching up with two hands and straightening the scrunchie on Bella's head. "Did Edward do this for you, sweetheart?"

"Yep!" Edward responded cheerfully. "I thought it was pretty good for a first try, but I see you think otherwise," he grinned at his mother.

"No, it is pretty good, sweetheart," she said proudly, leaning in to kiss Edward on the cheek too. He smiled, the happiest she'd seen him since long before Forks, and said, "Thanks, Mom," then turned to Jasper who was on the other side with the platter of pancakes, sausage, and bacon, and added, "Three of everything, please."

"Two for you and one for the lady?" Jasper asked humorously as he put Edward's food on his plate.

"Nope, 3 for me, and one for the lady when I'm finished," Edward responded, reaching for the syrup with his free hand.

There wasn't much of the usual breakfast banter that morning, though everyone kept glancing over at Bella in Edward's lap.

Finally, after plates were cleared, the coffee drinkers were on their second cup and Esme had placed her teapot on the table for herself and Jasper, a fresh plate was set at Edward's place with one of everything, just like he had said, and a bowl of berries to the side. He leaned down and said to Bella, "Your turn now, baby girl."

Turning her in his lap, so that she faced out the window instead of the table, Edward started breaking apart the bacon and cutting pieces of pancake with one hand. Then, with everyone watching, he brought a fork-full of pancake to Bella's mouth and said, "Eat."

Pretty predictably, she turned her head instead, making Edward laugh, then capture her head with his chin, holding it tight against him, holding the back of her neck with one hand and the fork in the other, more or less forcing it into her mouth.

Bella opened up and chewed the pancake, then the bacon, then some sausage, then some fruit. The room was silent, except for Edward saying, "Good girl," every time he got food in her mouth and she swallowed it, and for the small sounds of Bella softly crying her relief. Finally he thought she'd had enough, and he stopped, taking a glass of water to her lips instead. She drank, choked a little, drank some more, and finally, laid her head back down on Edward's chest and closed her eyes, Edward stroking his now fork-free hand down her hair and back. "Good girl, Bella; go to sleep now baby; good girl."

"Well that was disturbing," Rose finally broke the silence, though in somewhat hushed tones that Bella didn't seem to register as she stood up with her coffee cup and headed to the kitchen sink to start the dishes.

Esme perked up but seemed at a loss of what to say other than, "Rose…"

But Jasper was direct and forceful in his rebuttal: "No, Rose, it was exactly right, and exactly what she needed. We can feed her in Ed's room if you're going to be difficult about it."

Rosalie was at the sink now, and breezily replied, "I'm not being difficult, just honest. I mean, where does she go from here? Wearing diapers and sleeping in a bassinet?"

Jasper stared her down and Edward looked up, unfazed. "If that's what she needs," Jasper says.

Emmett snorts, "You've got to be kidding me!" he says, a little weirded out by his brother's attraction to such a baby-like young woman. "Ed, I'm glad you're taking care of Baby B, but you don't get off on that shit, do you?"

Edward turns and looks his big brother in the eyes across the table. "I don't get off on diapers, Em, but I do get off on Bella, and Jazz is right – I'll use them if she needs them to feel safe. I fucked up before, and made everything a lot worse for her than it needed to be, so I'm going to have to work harder than before to make it right. If you don't like it, I will go elsewhere, but please don't mention it in front of her again. It makes her feel ashamed."

Truth was, at that moment, Bella was far too psychologically-distanced to feel her usual shame, but Edward was thinking of the future. Emmett looked back at him, blinked his baby-blue eyes twice as he thought through what Edward had said and all that he knew of his brother's intelligence and loyalty and strength, and shrugged his shoulders, looking away. "Alright, man, if you're sure," he said, conciliatorily, and Edward smiled back and said, "Yes, Em, I'm sure," and that's all it took to win Em over.

Alice meanwhile had been unnaturally quiet, drinking first one then another espresso with nothing more than intense gazing at her friend in her brother's arms. Finally, after Em had said his piece, she stood up and said, "So I'm the boss of her during the day, right?"

Edward snorted at this pronouncement, turning to look at Al on his side of the table, and simply quirked an eyebrow at her.

Alice continues, "I mean, I get that you're the boss when you're home, but you're going back to school at the end of the week, and she's not, so that means I get to be her boss when you're gone."

"Only you're going back to school too, Alice," Esme chimes in, pouring herself a second cup of tea after pouring Jasper one.

"But Jasper isn't! He's homeschooling with you and Rosalie! He told me last night!" Alice remarked, loudly but not quite outraged yet, assuming there was simply a misunderstanding.

"I know, and I'm really looking forward to it," Esme responded with a happy look at Jasper who was just as happy to return it with a smile, and then another encouraging glance to Rosalie who pretended to be occupied with the dishes—but Esme chose to see that as a good sign.

"Well, then I'm homeschooling too," Alice announced with a nod of her head for emphasis.

Carlisle breaks in, which is unlike him. "Alice, sweetheart, you're not homeschooling," her doting father gently stated, knowing it would provoke outrage.

"But Dad, that's not fair! Why not?"

"Because, my little social butterfly, that would be an extremely bad fit for you. Almost as bad a fit as for Emmett, and even worse than for Edward," Carlisle rejoined calmly. "All three of you are much too extroverted to enjoy the homeschool environment for long, and all three of you would be poorly-served by doing that, so all three of you are staying in Forks High School."

Edward started to feel a little panic flare again at this ultimatum, and was thinking how to argue out of that inarguably correct position when Jasper interrupted his thoughts. "So, Ali, actually I'm the boss of our Bella during the day, as a stand-in for Edward, and you'll have to wait tll you get home. Although you're also in charge of her wardrobe, so I'm sure Edward will continue to want your help in the morning, right Ed?" and Jasper looked over to Edward with deference, and Edward looked back with gratitude.

"Right, Jazz; Alice is definitely in charge of Bella's wardrobe. And maybe her hair too, based on Esme's feedback," Edward said, smiling.

Alice couldn't help but be pleased by this, clapping her hands before sitting abruptly back down on her chair.

Esme pushed away to help Rose with the dishes, saying as she stood, "Well, I'm glad we sorted that out. Homeschoolers, let's meet at the kitchen table in an hour to plan. Edward, will you bring Bella to join us?"

"Absolutely, Mom. We'll just head to Carlisle's office for a medical check-in, then come on back. I do have to point out though that I'm not leaving here until she's ok without me."

"So maybe I should take her during the school day, with you around, so she gets used to me?" Jasper asked, looking up at Edward and seeing possessive rage flare back.

Jasper was quick to back down, holding up his hands. "Okay, okay, Edwardo, I get it—she's all yours while you're in residence."

Edward sighs, and his eyes stop flashing, his shoulders deflating a little. "No, man, you're right –that's exactly what we should do. I just…"

And he trailed off, but his dad picked up, "You just hate the idea of walking away from her just when you managed to get her safely in your arms."

Edward looks at his dad, a little surprised. "Yeah, Dad, that's exactly right."

"It's how I felt too the first day I went back to work after your mom had Emmett. And you. And your sister."

Edward nods, says, "Oh. I guess I can see how that would relate…only isn't Bella's situation a little more specific than a baby? A baby only needs general caregiving. My Bella—"

Esme interrupts. "You couldn't be more wrong, Edward. Babies are very focused on specific people; their smell, the sound of their voice. Most babies, anyway. Emmett was an exception, thank goodness, or I would have never finished my PhD."

"I love all the ladies," Emmett grinned and boasted broadly, until a dishtowel came flying from the kitchen sink and smacked him in the chest. "Except now," he modified quickly, and sheepishly. "Now I'm a one-woman man, right Rosie?"

Rosie doesn't bother looking at him, just deadpans, "Damn straight," from the sink, making Alice giggle, Jasper smile, Edward roll his eyes, and Esme and Carlisle look knowingly at each other.

Clearing his throat and pushing back his chair, Carlisle signals the end to breakfast as usual, albeit a couple hours later than normal. "Alright, Edward, Bella, why don't we go see how the ankle is looking." Pausing on his way out the door, Carlisle turns back towards Jasper finishing his tea at the table, "Jasper, son? Maybe you better come with too?"

Both Jasper and Carlisle turn to look at Edward, making his way around the back of the table with Bella in his arms. He looks up at the pause in the conversation, sees both of the men checking for his approval, and happily gives it. "Absolutely, Jazz; if we're going to co-parent, we need to both know what's going on," then following Carlisle down the hall while Jasper quickly leaps up, kisses Allie on the cheek and jogs after them.

XxXxXxXxXxXx XxXxXxXxXxXx XxXxXxXxXxXx XxXxXxXxXxXx XxXxXxXxXxXx XxXxXxXxXxXx

So there ends Sharks, but now for the second installment of a highly-related scenario I have informally titled "Edward Cullen hates me!" (the first was included at the end of Sharks, Chapter 12)…be aware that this group has Bella even more infantilized (in, I believe, a loving, healing manner) than Sharks Edward can quite imagine yet (and will not, I think, ever need to).

For those for whom this is medicinal, remember not to judge yourself for self-medicating. If reading it meets an emotional need that would otherwise lead you to unsafe behaviors or desperate longing, then well done you! That's why I write it – to free up the rest of my life from the profound loneliness—make that alone-ness—and vulnerability I feel.

If you read this out of some perverse desire to see how much I can revolt, shock, or offend you, then so be it - but that's on you. You have been warned!

Love and healing wishes to all,

liza

Emmett opened the door to the medical office with a flourish, his momentary feelings of chastisement lasting no longer than negative feelings usually did with him, bowing as Edward entered with Bella, Jasper just behind.

Without prior discussion, Edward stood just inside the waiting room door, near a line of chairs, but making no movement to sit in one, while Jasper walked straight to the reception desk, saying quietly to the surprised looking attendant, "Isabella Swan here to see Dr. Cullen."

The receptionist entered the arrival information on her computer, then picked up a clipboard and handed it over to Jasper with the instructions, "Have her fill this out please and bring it back with her to the appointment."

Jasper replied, "Will do, ma'am," then moved off to the group that was hunkering down in a corner where four unoccupied chairs were soon filled with the three young men, Bella still curled up and hiding on Edward's lap. Her hiding was improved by the light quilt Edward had picked up from the back seat of his car, having dug it out of a closet a few days prior to today with the express purpose of Isabella-warming, one way or another.

One of his strong arms is still holding her close to his chest while supporting her back, the other is busy slowly running his hand over the back of her head, over and over, like petting a cat but with enough pressure to remind her how thoroughly he was in control of her body.

Jasper has started filling out the forms. He says birth date, and Edward and Emmett say at the same time, "September 9, 2005" (Edward) and "Sometime in September" (Emmett). Jasper looks at Edward, who raises his eyebrows and says, "What? I told you she's my girl."

Just then, the door to the examining rooms opens and a nurse's aide calls out, "Isabella? Isabella Swan?"

Edward stands, adjusts his hold on Bella, then reaches down for the clipboard that Jasper is lifting up to him. Grasping it while returning the hand to supporting Bella's meager weight, Edward turns and says, "Thanks, Jazz; Emmett. You guys can head back if you want; I'm sure we can get a ride home with Carlisle."

Emmett responds easily, "Nah, we'll hang here, catch her on the way out the door if she tries to run away from you."

Edward smiles. "Thanks, Em," then heads towards the open doorway and the matter-of-fact nurse's aide waiting for them.

Luckily for Edward and his plans, Janean, the aide, was a well-known and –liked figure in the Cullen household, having been Dr. Cullen's rooming assistant for his entire tenure at the Forks Medical Clinic, the place where he had started over in his professional career after he and Esme had relocated their brand-new family following the deaths of their best friends in Chicago seven years earlier. When Esme needed to remind Carlisle to pick up milk or try to get home early for parent conferences at the school, it was Janean she called, and before he was driving himself, it was Janean Edward spoke to when he needed a ride home from school due to practice running late—so Edward said warmly, "Hi, Janean, how are you?" as he passed her holding open the door, and she answered, "Great as always, Edward – how's your mom? Let's get her weight first, please. Set her down on the scale – we'll leave her shoes on."

And so the two of them maneuvered Bella through the opening act of any medical visit, a running conversation between them that helped keep Bella from really understanding what was going on.

The weighing would have freaked her out under normal circumstances, but Edward simply lowered her to the scale facing him, "Stand up just for a second, sweetheart; I'm right here," and keeping his arms around her body just- not-touching for the short time it took the electronic scale to register her weight in kilograms.

Edward sucked in his breath and swallowed the swear word that wanted to escape at the number, which was smaller than he had been expecting, instead sweeping her back up, one arm under her bottom now with her torso held against his by his other arm, his hand gripping the back of her head and keeping it tucked against his neck and shoulder.

He carried her that way down a hall and through another doorway into Exam Room 4, Janean saying, "Have a seat," as she herself pulled up the stool in front of the computer.

Edward sat, swinging Bella's legs to the side as he did so, using both arms now to pull her against him and re-tucking the quilt so she was nice and snug as they went through the preliminaries of birth date, current meds (Bella had arrived in Forks supposedly on a variety of psychiatric meds, but had long stopped taking them, confessing that to Carlisle on her first visit), preferred pharmacy (there were only three options in Forks: the Thriftway, a CVS that had just bought out the long-time local pharmacist, and the hospital pharmacy, which for obvious reasons was what the Cullens used), reason for the visit.

Bella for her part had gone very far away from the voices bouncing back and forth around her in sing-song tones she purposefully ignored as anything more than background noise, and was almost asleep when she felt the cold air on her arm as Edward rolled up her sleeve for the blood-pressure cuff.

She froze as she realized what he would see when he rolled past her lower forearm, for she had taken to scratching words like "Loser" into the flesh of her inner arm.

Sure enough, there was a pause in his rolling of the material up past her elbow and the clatter of computer keys, and a moment when her arm was held out for both Edward and Janean to see and process what the scabbed-over scratches meant.

Then movement resumed as Janean said quietly, "I'll add that to the notes," and Edward resumed rolling the sleeve again while pulling Bella even more tightly against him.

"I've got you, baby girl," he said quietly into Bella's ear, his voice a little more emotional and less blithely-confident but even more determined than usual, and Bella sobbed at this, turning herself further into his chest to hide.

Edward continued to hold her tightly against himself while Janean threaded the blood-pressure cuff around her upper arm, then took the reading—twice, because the first time it was so low it needed to be verified.

The second reading was just as low, and Edward scowled at the numbers being entered in the computer, while feeling simultaneously grateful he hadn't waited a second later and mad-as-hell he had waited as long as he had.

Just then there was a perfunctory knock on the door, before Carlisle opened it as he announced his presence, "Who do you have for me in here, Janean?" This was quickly followed by, "Hello, son, I wasn't expecting you today, but from the looks of things [for he had headed straight to the computer screen to look over Janean's notes as she was replacing the blood pressure cuff and preparing to exit] it is really good you're here…hmmmm [as he scrolled up to find the low weight too]."

"Thanks, Janean," he offered to her retreating back as she exited the room, saying at the door, "Should I bring in some warm blankets?"

"Yes, please, and alert intake to a possible admission too," he added, cutting off Edward before he could object by saying, "Just in case, Edward; just in case."

These formalities over, Carlisle rolled over to the huddled shape of Isabella on his son's lap and placed a gentle hand on her back. "Isabella, it's Carlisle Cullen. Could you sit up for me and let me listen to your heart, please?"

Instead of obeying Dr. Cullen's orders as she always had in the past, Isabella instead flung an arm up over her head and pressed into Edward's shoulder like she could disappear into another dimension.

Edward laughed a little, proud of her trust in him, and Carlisle raised his eyes to Edward's, proud in his son. "Well, son, guess we'll have to work around her here. Can you get her to the exam table?"

"Of course, Dad," was the quick reply, and indeed, a few seconds later, Bella felt the crinkle of the paper on the table wrinkle under her as she was gingerly put down there, Edward's arms still tight around her and her head still tucked under his chin, his hand still holding it there.

"Will that work?" Edward asked, and Carlisle said, "That should be fine, Edward. I'll start with the back this time," said as he put his stethoscope in his ears and reached under the blanket and Bella's shirt to find the spot where he wanted to listen.

"Sounds strong and steady, Isabella; that's good," Carlisle said before removing the stethoscope and taking a step back.

"Ok, kiddo, I need to listen to your front now; Edward, can you stand to the side a bit to let me in?" and no sooner were the words out but Edward had stepped to the side, twisting Bella's torso a little and holding her in place at her hips so that Carlisle could lean in and gently drop the stethoscope down the front of her shirt.

"May I reach up to position my stethoscope, Isabella?" Carlisle, always the respectful physician, asked.

Bella's face was burning and she couldn't speak, but Edward leaned in and said, "Carlisle wants to know if it's okay for him to listen to your heart, sweetheart. Just nod for me to tell him it's okay," and as he said that, he released his hand ever so slightly to give her the space to nod.

Bella started to cry, and Edward said again, "We're almost done, baby girl; just nod your head so we can get out of here," and with that loaded instruction, Bella managed to move her head just enough for Carlisle to see and take it as the token of approval his conscience required.

"Good girl," Edward crooned back to Bella, effectively distracting her from Carlisle's hand carefully working its way between the blanket and her shirt, maneuvering the stethoscope then listening intently to the still surprisingly-strong heartbeat that would keep Bella out of the hospital despite her low weight.

"That's it, Isabella, Edward, hold right there," Carlisle said as he moved it over and listened again, then gently removed it and stepped back saying, "Well done, you two; that's all I need right now."

"Good job, baby girl," Edward said into Bella's ear, pulling her tightly against him again. "Can we sit back down, dad?"

Carlisle was busy typing his notes, but turned back to smile at his son and reassure him, "Absolutely; wherever you think she's most comfortable. I'm just going to get these numbers in, and get a couple orders sent to the pharmacy; then we'll talk."

And true to his word, there were a couple minutes of nothing more than Carlisle's rapid typing, and Edward's quiet stroking down Isabella's back, and Bella covering her exposed ear with one arm while pretending she was somewhere far, far away.

Finally, Carlisle had all the practical arrangements in place to bring the miserable girl curled up in his son's arms home, and had even texted his wife to tell her to get ready, saying a little prayer as he does so that this is all in the best interests for his own family as he relishes the joy for once of being able to care for a wounded patient with the totality of loving intervention he knew was required for her really to have a chance at healing.

As he turns back to Edward holding Bella, he sees the pride and joy mixed with anxious worry in his son's eyes, and he feels even better about the situation, his own pride for his son's ability to act skillfully in her care evident as he says, "Edward, I think we can safely take her home, but we don't have much of a margin for error. Are you sure you're up for the constant monitoring she's going to need the next few weeks?"

He wasn't surprised at the vehemence of Edward's reply: "Absolutely, Dad – no question," for he knew his son.

"Alright, then, I assume whomever gave you the ride here is still waiting?"

"Yep, Emmett and Jasper are in the waiting room; we took my car."

"Then why don't I call the waiting area and have them bring it around to the clinic exit, and I'll walk you

two out."

"Sounds great, Dad."

And Carlisle did what he said, calling the front desk receptionist, who then called out to the waiting

room for, "Emmett Higgenbottom? Jasper Hale?" and conveyed the request for the car to the two eager friends, agreeing easily among themselves for Emmett to grab the car and Jasper to stay back and help with the transfer.

Meanwhile, Carlisle rolled his stool around to the side where Bella's head was turned, her face still hidden under her arm, and spoke towards the blanket, "Isabella, I'm really happy to have you join my family."

He let that sink in for a little bit, though it didn't really sink, more like glanced across the surface of her churning mind, then finished, "Are you okay going home with Edward? If you would prefer, I could admit you to the hospital instead."

Edward shook his head, alarmed, at his father's words, but Carlisle knew what he was doing, and easily got the faux-consent he was after through the mad shaking of her head that commenced with the words "admit to the hospital." She even came to enough to raise her head off Edward's shoulder, Edward begrudgingly letting her but keeping his hand in place at the back of her head, and say, "Please, Dr. Cullen, no hospital; I'm fine!" in a scratchy voice they could just make out before she started to cry.

Edward tucked her head back down and started shushing her with an "It's okay, baby girl; I'm not leaving you," and Carlisle let him, watching how effective his calming was and feeling even better about the situation before finishing with, "I agree with Edward, Isabella; you'll be better off with us, if that's okay with you."

And even though he didn't need it, he was pleased to see the little head nod that Edward let come through, knowing as they both did that she wasn't so much agreeing to becoming part of the Cullens as she was desperately trying to avoid the hospital.

"Okay, son, that's close enough for me!" Carlisle says cheerfully as he unfolds himself from the stool and goes to open the exam room door. "What do you say we get her out of here and into Esme's clutches?"

Edward grinned and stood up, striding to the door as he answers, "Sounds perfect, Dad; thank you."

Just then, Janean rounded the hallway corner with an armload of warm blankets.

"Just in time, Janean – thank you!" Carlisle said as he tucked first one, then the other around the girl in his son's arms. "Ready, Edward?" he asked when he was finished, and Edward said, "Extremely," so they marched off towards the waiting room, Carlisle's hand on Isabella's back to hold the blankets in place, and Janean holding open the waiting room door.

Edward carries Bella out to the backseat of the car, placing her in the middle next to Jasper whom he asked to get in first on the far side. He then stands back up to consult with Carlisle, leaving Jasper to soothe an increasingly agitated Bella in the backseat.

She begs him to let her go. "Please, Jasper, I have to get out of here!" she pleads as she tries to reach across him for the door handle.

He is unaccustomedly firm in his physical intervention, because he has to be to keep her safe. He grabs one wrist, then reaches around with his other hand and pulls her onto his lap as he saw Edward do. This time though she doesn't calm, but fights harder, and Jasper holds her arms down with both his own, pressing against her body as he tries to calm her.

"Bella, darlin', settle down, honey, you're going to hurt yourself!" he says.

"Jasper, please, I've got to go! Let me go!" is her response, desperation in her voice.

Jasper tries to reason with her. "Why do you have to go? Are you afraid of Edward?"

This brings her up short. "No! Of course not!" she lies, after a telling hesitation.

Jasper laughs a little, realizing his best strategy is to keep her distracted with outrage. "Are you sure about that, little one?" he asks, using that term to put her off her guard even more.

It works. She freezes at those words, flaming red hot, before resuming a wordless, panicked struggle for the door handle.

Jasper's more confident now, though, and she doesn't come close to the door. Instead, he tells her to, "Breathe, Bella sweetheart, breathe with me," and he models deep breaths that she totally ignores.

Afraid she's going to pass out from her exertion, or worse have a heart attack or something, Jasper thinks about telling Edward to hurry up but instead tries one more thing: "So why do you want so badly to leave? Tell me why, and maybe I'll let you go."

This settles her for a moment, her eyes searching his, looking for truth and finding it (although there is nothing she realistically could have said to make that happen, and Jasper knows it). Blushing again, she looks down and away and says, "Um, well, I don't want to bother Edward—and you—anymore."

Jasper laughs gently again, retorting warmly, "Darlin', the last thing you are is a bother. As a matter of fact, I think you've just become the center of Edward's universe, so your leaving isn't something he's going to like."

Jasper is savvy about people, and so talks about the idea of her leaving as if it's going to happen to continue the illusion that she has a choice, that she's not as trapped as she believes herself to be (when in fact she is more trapped—in a good way-than she can comprehend for many months, even years).

She calms again, searching for the words to help Jasper understand. She knows he's not a Cullen, has a history of his own that she's smart enough to realize isn't all pretty, and she gives her most likely ally her best shot: "Jasper, it's going to kill me when he leaves me. I can't be vulnerable like this. You've got to understand!"

Jasper does understand, more than Bella realizes right then, and says so. "Darlin', believe me, I know what you're talkin' about. When I first moved in with the Cullens, I was packing my bag every other day or so, just waitin' for them to figure out they'd made a mistake, that I didn't belong there, and wantin' to be on my way out the door before I had to hear them ask me to leave."

Bella nods wildly, looking Jasper in the eyes again. He gets it, he really does understand how she is feeling!

"Thank you, Jasper! I knew you would understand," she says, then hugs him.

Jasper hugs her back, lingering with his hands on her back, thinking about how much her ribs are jutting out, realizing that Edward wasn't remotely overreacting and instead had almost maybe left things for too late.

He says, still embracing her, keeping her distracted from trying to leave again, "Us non-Cullens have to stick together, but I promise you, they mean it when they invite you in. They are not going to ask you to leave, darlin', no matter how much you worry they might. You belong to Edward, and that means you're a Cullen now, plain and simple, the same way I belong to Ali and so I'm in too. It's scary, but it gets easier with time. I promise."

But this is not reassuring to Bella at all; there's no way she can believe that her relationship to Edward is anything like Jasper's to Alice, and she says so: "No, Jasper, no, it's not like that at all with Edward; he's just being kind to me!"

Jasper shakes his head, starts to interrupt, but he's lost her, and he knows it. She's fighting again, and Jasper doesn't have anything left to try, so he yells out to Edward still talking to his father. "Hey, Ed, we've got a situation here. You almost ready to go?"

Edward looks in, sees the struggle, throws a quick, "Thanks, Dad, see you at home," over his shoulder as he slides in the backseat, closing and locking the door behind him.

"Come here, baby girl," he says to the almost-hyper-ventilating Bella who is now putting everything she has into fighting both men.

She loses, and before she knows what's happened, she's snug in Edward's lap again, the front of her body pulled tight against his, his large hand and long fingers gently cupping the back of her head and more firmly holding her head against his shoulder once more.

She tries to fight with her torso, but Jasper pulls the buckle across them both, then adds his heavy hands to her hip bone and ankles, pushing her into Edward gently but firmly, making it seem like Edward has four hands instead of two.

Thus settled, Jasper says to Emmett, "Drive, Em," and they head home, Edward not taking his eyes or attention off the hiding brown head, talking to her the whole way about his plans for the coming weeks.

"So, Baby Girl, one of the first things we're going to do when we get home is to run a hot bath to warm you up. We'll use Esme's tub; she's got a lot of bubbles and candles and you'll fall asleep you'll be so relaxed. Then when you're nice and warm, we'll get you dried off and into pj's and we'll go watch a movie. What's a movie you haven't seen in a while? I think it will be the Disney Channel for you, something sweet and light and princess-y, just like you. Maybe Frozen? I never did see that, no matter how many times Ali sang the songtrack. She'll be ecstatic having someone else to watch that with. But I have to warn you, she'll sing along. Does that sound good to you?"

And without waiting for an answer, he continues, "Then I think it will be bedtime." Raising his head up so he is addressing everyone in the car, he continues, "Carlisle says he is happy to arrange for all of us to be off this week, and maybe next, working from home while we take shifts to care for her, if that's okay with all of you."

Emmett says, "Hell, yeah," and Jasper says, "Of course, Edward; that's a good plan, though you better include Ali and Rose in that or there'll be…" he pauses and looks down at Bella, choosing to adjust his language while raising his eyebrows, "heck to pay."

Emmett is just pulling into the circle in the front of the Cullens' house as Jasper says this, and pulls up behind Rose's parked car, saying, "Speaking of…" and trailing off as both girls and Esme move to the car doors. They try to open the front, but it is locked, and before Emmett can move to unlock it, Edward says, "Wait a second, Emmett; let's get one thing clear here: the girls are going to want to be Bella's friend, and that's great. It really is; she needs friends. But we can't be her friend, and we can't let them run the show with her. The three of us and Carlisle have to be the authorities, the bad cops in a way, and we have to take responsibility for her safety every second, even when it embarrasses her and makes the others angry, because otherwise she will find those holes and use them to hurt herself. Dad was really clear, the odds of her attempting some sort of self-harm are incredibly high for the next few weeks, and I need to know—are you two up for keeping her safe with me? It's okay if you're not, you can be her friend or her cousin instead, but I need to know so I can make the right plans for her safety."

Jasper speaks first, "Edward, you can see I've got this. I was hesitant, I'll admit it, I know I tried to talk you into giving her to professionals to fix, but I'm glad you didn't. I can see now why that never would have worked, and would have broken her instead. That would have been a tragedy. She's unbelievably trusting, and sweet, and vulnerable, and good, and we're going to keep her that way, I promise. I've got your back, and I've got hers." As he ended, he was talking down at Bella's literal back, smiling, still holding onto one of her hips and keeping her knees and ankles down with his elbow and hand.

"Thanks, Jazz," Edward says simply, looking at his adopted brother with the same true affection and shared loyalty reflected back from Jasper.

Turning his head to eye Emmett, who is still looking back from the driver's seat, Edward asks, "What do you say, Em? Do you want off the hook here? I know it's awkward that she's your cousin."

There was a pause, during which Emmett held up one finger in the classic one-more-minute gesture to the women outside, one of whom (Alice) was now banging on the windows. "Nah, not so much awkward as bittersweet, thinking about how much better of a cousin I could have been all along. She was always so scared, and instead of taking care of her the way you are, I teased her for it. Have to say I'm not feeling real great about myself right now, but I figure the best way to make it up to her is to get it right this time, so yeah, I've got your back too, and I'll take good care of her this time, even though it's really going to piss off Rose and your sister. I mean, do you have a plan for them? They look about ready to take a car door off right now, man."

Edward, relieved at Emmett's response, turned his head and saw Alice right outside his window, peering in. Realizing Emmett was right, and he'd have to clear things up right away with the hope of avoiding an immediate crisis, he said, "Roll down my window just a couple inches, please, Em; I'll talk to them."

Hearing the window rolling down on that side, Esme and Rosalie both make their way over to join Alice, Esme moving quickly with concern on her face, Rose sauntering a bit with her hands on her hips, looking ready to be pissed.

"Hey, ladies," Edward says, sounding much more blithe and carefree than he feels.

"Ladies?" Alice echoes back to him, pissed, while Esme adds, "Edward, why aren't you bringing Isabella in the house? It's cold out here."

Taking a deep breath, Edward says, "I know Mom, I know. Listen, I have to explain something, and I'm pretty sure it's going to make all of you mad but if you talk to Dad about it, I promise he'll back me up, and really it's as much his idea as it is mine."

Esme is a little puzzled while the other two are just as mad as the XY-bunch assumed they would be, and working their way to madder. "What is it, Edward? Say it quickly so we can welcome her home, please."

"That's just it, Mom. You can't welcome her home. Not yet, anyway. She isn't ready to feel at home here. She's going to fight me, fight us, at every step and try to run away, and worse, try to hurt herself. But only if we let her."

Rose speaks up for the first time. "You're damn right she's going to fight you. You're treating her like a child. I'd have your balls on a platter myself, and I'll help her with the cut if you keep this up."

There was nothing but truth in Rose's statement, and they all knew it.

"Rosalie, I get why you would feel that way, and I appreciate your loyalty to your friend, but Isabella isn't you. She might fight like you, but it's for different reasons, and in her case, those reasons are going to make her kill herself…if we let that happen."

Rose knows Bella is different from her, and knows she doesn't understand those "reasons" Edward is referring to, but she also believes Edward to be an arrogant ass who is far too presumptuous of his own correctness, so she folds her arms, raises one eyebrow, and says, voice dripping with challenge, "Is that right?"

Edward is unfazed. "Yes, that's right. She's cut her arms up already, and the rest of her will follow if she's left alone for even one moment."

Rosalie takes a moment, blinks as she considers. She knows self-harm, has had friends who indulged (in her assessment) in it to keep the nightmares at bay and reassert control over their own bodies. She prefers to harm those who hurt her, rather than herself, and has excoriated those in her past circles who took the blame for their own abuse, for other people's miserable failings and evil qualities. But as she's healed, she's understood a little better that most people aren't as strong as she is, and the uncomfortable thought has occurred to her once or twice before that maybe she's been a little hard on those friends who couldn't automatically treat their own selves with respect when the rest of the world didn't.

So in an unexpected but very-welcome-to-Edward turn, Rosalie decides to literally step back and observe and decide for herself whether Edward's controlling approach is best for Bella or not. She says so, lowering her arms and placing her hands back on her hips as she speaks.

"Edward, I'm not sure I like this, but I am open to the possibility that it might be what she needs. To get a fresh start, to finally see herself as someone worth protecting. Herself. I'll call bullshit when I see it, but I'm willing to give you a chance at this, because you're right—she's not me. And you're also right, she'll kill herself if you let her. And I like her enough not to want that to happen. So you've got a window. Don't make me regret it." And with that she turns away and goes back to the house.

Emmett watches her go and feels protective worry flair, so turns back to Edward and asks, "You got this, man? I need to go check on Rosie."

Edward had still been processing the acceptance from Rosalie, but was happy to turn to his friend/brother and say, "Absolutely, Em. Maybe we can meet after dinner while the girls are hanging out and plan for the next few days, if that's okay with you."

"Absolutely," Emmett says back, tossing the keys to Jasper as Emmett exits the driver's seat, pausing in the open doorway to turn and say to Bella, real affection in his voice, "It's going to be okay now, Bella-bee. You'll see."

And with that pronouncement, he slams the door shut and runs up the walk after Rosalie.

"You're not getting rid of me as easily, Edward." Alice says through the still-open window to her twin and utter opposite in all ways except the depth of their love and loyalty for each other and their family and their piercing intellect—though expressed in very different ways.

Edward laughs. "I hope not, Ali. I'm counting on you to be Bella's best friend."

"I already am her best friend!"

"So that shouldn't be a problem then. As long as you remember that a friend is different from a parent, and that's what I'm going to be. And that's going to piss you off, and piss her off, and the two of you can talk about me and complain about me and make fun of me all you want, but unlike other friendships, you have to be careful not to undercut me or do anything that would make her less safe. In other words, you have to be a collaborator and a friend at the same time."

"And why should I do anything you tell me to, especially when you're being creepy and saying you're her, what, her Dad?"

"Because you want her to stay alive, that's why. And right now, she's as close as you get to dying without being hospitalized. It's that bad, Al. It's that bad. And she really needs a Dad. She's never had one before. Think about that for a minute—how you would feel if you had never had our Dad, and then when he was gone, how you would have felt without Carlisle."

Alice took a step back at that information, and looks surprised, and confused. And scared. "I still don't understand why Carlisle can't be her Dad too," but she's much less sure sounding.

Jasper sees the scared, and says to Edward, "Why don't I go talk to Alice while you get Bella inside. We'll stay out here for a few minutes just in case she makes a break for it."

Edward is nodding, he sees the fear too, and says quickly back, "Sounds good," while Jasper is already exiting the car.

Meanwhile Edward is searching for the right words, aware that it isn't just Alice listening to his explanation of why Bella needed him to be her Dad. Wondering if he should put the vague thoughts into words; afraid maybe they would be too scary or too spot-on for all of them to hear.

Then he thought about the silence he'd maintained over the last couple of months, and how it had almost killed the little girl in his arms, and he said an inner "Fuck it," and called out towards Ali who was just turning into Jazz's embrace.

"Hold up, Jazz," Edward says, and Jasper raises his head to look at Edward. "I want to finish this conversation with Alice. It's really important," and as he says that he flicks his eyes down to Bella in his lap, so Jasper will understand it's important to both girls to hear.

"Absolutely," Jasper says, and pulls Alice closer to the car again, then leans down and says, "Edward has something else to explain to us, love," and though her eyes are closed and one ear is pressed against Jasper's chest, Alice listens.

"The reason it has to be me, not Carlisle, is because she's missed the window for a regular Dad." As he says these painful words, he feels the caving in of Bella's body and hears the sob that confirms she is listening to every word, for better or for worse. He has to make it better.

Leaning down to place a kiss on Bella's cheek, squeezing her ever-so-carefully more tightly against himself, Edward continues, "That's why she's hurting so badly; that's why she hurts herself. She knows she's been alone in the world, unprotected, and she thinks it must be her fault." Bella cries out more loudly at this, and tries to raise her arm up to protect her head and cover her ears. He knows; he knows it's her fault, and she's so ashamed. Surely God will let her just die right now!

Edward kisses her again, then speaks right by her ear, just loudly enough for Alice, Jasper, and Esme, still off to the side by the front passenger door, to lean in and hear how he is going to fix this—and it is a testament to Edward's maturity and strength of character that none of the three have any doubt that he will indeed fix it.

"So now that she is grown-up past the little girl stage physically, and she's a little girl stuck inside a woman's body, the only way she can get what she needs to feel safe is if she has someone who is both her boyfriend and her Daddy, at the same time. That way both her body and her mind can get what is right for them now, and they can stop fighting about whether she is allowed to grow up and continue living or not, because it will finally be safe for her to be exactly. As. She. Is." And he punctuated each of the last 4 words with kisses on her cheek and ear as Bella starts to tremble while continuing to sob, and Edward turns his head to the rapt audience and says, "Open the door please."

Jasper moves to open the door and Alice moves to stand behind him, out of the way, wiping tears off her cheeks.

Esme steps forward and leans in to the car where Edward has just undone the seatbelt that had held them in place.

"Can you help me make sure her head doesn't hit the car?" Edward asks his mom.

"Of course, sweetheart," Esme answers with so much love and pride as she leans in and places another set of hands over Isabella's head.

"Okay, on the count of three I'm standing up—one, two, three!" And Edward steps out of the car while Esme steps backwards, both so careful of Bella's body.

When they're safely out and on the walkway to the house, Edward stops a moment for Esme to lift up the blankets and tuck them back around Isabella, who is still crying but more softly now into Edward's shoulder.

"Thanks, Mom," Edward says with deep emotion, and Esme leans in and kisses him on the cheek.

"I'm so proud of you, sweetheart." Then she smiles with joy and hope and tenderness at Bella, and says, "And I'm so proud of you too, Bella darling. Welcome to the family," and she leans back in to kiss Bella on the cheek.

Bella lifts her head, Edward allowing her to by moving his hand with it, and says, "I'm so sorry!"

But Edward interrupts her by pushing her head back down against his shoulder and saying, "No more sorries, Bella. You've done nothing wrong; you're exactly right; you're exactly who I want you to be," and as he's saying all of this, he's walking in long strides down the front walkway and up to the front door, where Jasper has moved ahead and is holding open the door for them to walk through.

Not pausing a second, Edward moves to the staircase to go to the bedrooms and whispers to his sobbing girl, "We're home, baby girl. Daddy's brought you home."

After that, he doesn't speak again to Bella, who has completely checked out of her mind, but only to his companions, giving instructions on hot baths and borrowed nightgowns and warm socks and chocolate milkshakes with protein powder and chicken noodle soup with the chicken and carrots picked out.

The first orders went to Esme, who was right behind Edward carrying Bella up the stairs. "Edward, what can I do honey? Is she hungry?"

Edward paused on the landing, turning to his mom and asking, "Do you mind giving up your bathroom to Bella for a few weeks, Mom?"

"Of course not, honey. She can have anything she needs. You know that."

"I know, but I just wanted to ask. It means removing quite a lot of your personal stuff in there."

"No problem, Edward – I've been meaning to give it a good clean-out for a while anyway. Shall I start there then?"

Bella starts squirming, so Edward starts moving up the staircase again, everyone following behind him now. "Actually, mom, I was wondering if you would mind fixing a big batch of chicken noodle soup. Dad said fluids are the way to go to start with, and I can't think of a better fluid to start her off with than your soup."

He's at the top of the stairs now, heading down the long hallway to his room at the end.

"Absolutely, honey, I'll get right on it," and Esme turns to fly down the stairs past the others still heading up.

"Do you mind if I ask Ali and Rose to clean out your bathroom?" Edward calls after his mom, over his shoulder.

She pauses on the landing, says back up the stairs, "Of course not, darling. Girls, there are totes in the storage area I think we can use to pack up all the things we need to put away right now. Shall we go find them?"

Rose turns around right away and starts off down the stairs without comment, though Edward calls after her, "Rose, make sure it's safe, will you?"

Rose pauses in her descent, turns around and looks up at Edward. She smiles, something she's not used to doing with him. "I got it," she assures him, nods her head once, and turns back to the job ahead, her head a little higher in spite of herself.

"Emmy, we're going to need your muscle. Why don't you come too," she says over her own shoulder to Emmett.

"That okay with you, man?" Emmett calls up after Edward, who is already heading back down the hall.

"Yeah, that's great, Em," Edward calls back before disappearing from view, pausing one moment to turn to Jasper and Alice, still behind him. "Ali, why don't you go get a head start on Mom's bathroom."

"Why don't you want me with her, Edward? I want to be with Bella!"

Edward looks at her, looks down at the frozen girl trying to disappear into his chest, looks up at Jasper.

"What do you think, Jasper?"

"Well, I don't really see how having Ali around can hurt, and it might help B feel more comfortable, at least at first. You two weren't really friends before. I mean, to be honest, she seemed terrified of you."

Edward laughs, "Yeah, I noticed."

Making a decision, he leans down and kisses Bella's head then heads back down the hall to his room and private bathroom at the end. "Okay, Alice, you win," he says as he pauses at his closed door, waiting for someone else to open it. "But if you don't like what I'm doing with her, you have to promise to leave the room, not to say anything about it. Deal?"

Alice stands at the threshold, one hand on the door handle, the other on her hip. "I'll think about it," she says tartly.

"Not good enough," Edward shoots back. "You're with me or not coming in the door. She's too hurt Al; we can't care about embarrassing her or making her mad. She's going to get very, very mad at me over the next few days and weeks, and mad at you too if you're with me. You can turn around right now and go help Esme in the kitchen or Rose in the bathroom and avoid any unpleasantness, but if you come into this room you are promising both me and her not to wuss out."

Alice stares at her new best friend in her brother's arms one more second, narrowing her eyes as she thinks things through, Jasper standing silently to the side as the two siblings sort their business.

"Fine," Alice says with a huff, turning the doorknob and marching across the threshold, turning on the light as she goes.

Edward approaches the doorway but doesn't cross in. Looking at Alice, he says, "I'm going to make her call me Daddy."

"Ugh! I know already. You can't wait for that, you controlling ass!" Alice rolls her eyes and says with feeling.

Jasper laughs. "The lady's not wrong, Eduardo."

Edward laughs back. "Nope, she's not. I am a controlling ass, and for once I've found someone who likes that about me. Or at least is going to like that about me. I hope," and as he says that he bends his knees and gently sets Bella down, sitting upright on the bed.

"Close the door, please, Jazz, and slide the top bolt," Edward directs while still keeping his arms around Bella.

Jasper follows the instructions, closing the door and sliding home the bolt at the very top of the door—where Bella could never reach it without a stool or chair, noticeably absent from the room, and which Edward had installed just the night before in an inspired bit of home renovation subsequent to reading the books his dad had brought him on treatment of eating disorders and suicidal tendencies.

"Done," Jasper says.

"Here goes everything," Edward says quietly, as he slowly pulls his arms away and takes one step back from Bella, sitting on the bed. "Welcome home, baby girl," he says.

XxXxXx

I pull the blanket tighter around me as Edward moves away. I knew he would leave; it was just a matter of time. Now I just have to wait until he's gone so I can figure out what to do next; how to get this upside-down situation right again so I don't feel so naked and exposed.

I pull the blanket even tighter.

Why are they all just staring at me? I can feel Jasper and Alice looking at me from opposite sides, and every time I sneak a peek towards Edward, he's still looking at me too. He looks so…knowing! It makes me so embarrassed. He doesn't know me! He doesn't have the first clue how bad I am. If he really knew me, he would throw me out of his room, out of his house, out of his life.

That's okay; I just have to figure out how to get out first.

XxXxXx

I don't know what I was expecting, but absolute stillness wasn't it. Maybe some hysterics? Trying to run out the door? Swearing at me? No, I didn't really expect that. I've never heard a curse word cross her tongue. But definitely hysterics. I was expecting hysterics.

The silence is scary. And if it's scaring me, it has to be fucking terrifying for her (I have no problem with cursing). Time to break the silence.

"Okay, kiddo, let's show you the place." There, that sets the tone. Me, boss in charge—you, obedient, dependent child.

Nothing. I'm holding out my hand to her, and she's not moving an inch. So rigidly still, it has to hurt her.

Shit, Edward, get this right.

"Okay, you prefer to ride. I like that better too," and I scoop her right back up.

Thank God, she's hiding in my shoulder again. Alright, mental note: maintain physical contact at all times.

I stand there a little while, just holding her, one arm under her way-too-small ass, the other hand grasping the back of her head and neck, holding her tight against me. I just about come with relief and gratitude when I feel her fragile arms reach tentatively up…so slowly.

"Good girl," I whisper in her ear, "Good girl for trusting Daddy." Alice and Jasper are right. Saying that is an electric thrill, even though I know acting on that thrill is months, maybe even years, away. How is it possible that we could be so well-matched? Fucking lucky. I am fucking lucky. And I suppose, so is she…or she will be. I'll make sure of that.

XxXxXx

Watching the two of them adjust to each other, kind of melt into each other and become one while we

are watching, is really intense. Ali and I are silent, staring, not even communicating with each other for once. It is very strange, and amazing, and not something we will ever likely see again. I can't be sure, but I think it might be like watching a baby be born.

Hunh. I guess that's kind of what it is; watching Bella become Edward's. I never thought of myself as a voyeur, but I'm glad I didn't miss that. Don't want to watch them having sex though. I'm not sure how that is going to work out, and I'm glad I have such faith in Edward not to take advantage, because if ever someone was vulnerable to being taken advantage of, Bella is right now.

But it's Edward who's got her, and there could be no one on the planet safer for her right now than Edward. He is so upright it's annoying sometimes, but you couldn't find a better friend, or a more loyal brother. So now she has that too…upright loyalty, and something more that's just hers. I can see it because it's the same thing Ali and I have, and Rose and Emmett too. We just match. Never thought the world could be so kind as to give that sort of partnership to all six of us at once.

We are fucking lucky.

XxXxXx

Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God! Edward has finally done it. I've been telling him to ask her out for weeks, leave it to him to skip going out and jump right to marriage! Marriage! I get to plan a wedding! I wonder if they'll wait til spring? June would be perfect. Think of the flower options! Think of how beautiful Bella will look in the dress I'm designing for her! She doesn't even know yet; it will be my surprise. Some day, when she's feeling sad, and unsure about herself—which she feels A LOT I know—I'll show her the model I've been working on. Maybe seeing it on her will help me get the turn in the train right…

God, Edward looks so happy. Happier than he's ever looked since…since Mom and Dad died. I'd forgotten he could be this happy! Thank you, God, for Bella, for me, but even more for my brother. He's a really good brother, and I am so grateful he finally gets to be happy too. Tell Mom and Dad for me, will you please, God? Tell them Edward found someone to love. They'll be so happy!

XxXxXx

After a long and intense silence in the room, it is Bella who finally breaks it. Feeling the comfort of Edward's arms around her, just holding her with no purpose other than that, his hand pressing her head against his beating heart, Bella is overcome with his affection and her gratitude and relief, and she whispers to him without thinking, "Edward, I love you."

Or at least that's what she thinks she says, blushing madly after it spills out of her mouth unthinking.

But she would blush much more fiercely if she knew what Edward heard, which was quite distinctly, "Daddy, I love you."

Who's to say which it was? It wasn't loud enough for either observer to hear clearly, though they did hear Edward's joyful and triumphant response, which was, "Isabella Swan Masen Cullen, I love you too."

Alice did a happy dance and clapped her hands, and Jasper smiled and looked bashfully down at his feet.

Alice was not remotely bashful, and took this moment as an invitation to join in the love, moving

forward quickly to wrap her arms around her brother and Bella and hug them both.

"I love you both, so, so much!" she said, enthusiastically, and Edward grinned, looking down at her instead of his girl just for a moment, and said, "Love you too, Ali Cat."

"Bella, look! I put your names on the wall already, just like Edward said!" Alice was so excited to show Bella the artwork she'd prepped for her new sister on the wall of Edward's room, which Edward himself had emptied of everything but the king-size bed the weekend before.

As a matter of fact, Bella had been over visiting Alice and working on homework at the dining room table when Edward had started carrying his cd collection down the stairs in boxes. "What are you doing, Edward?" Alice had asked from her spot across the table from Bella, avoiding her algebra as best she could.

"Making room for our upcoming houseguest," Edward said, throwing a wink Bella's direction which made her blush so red and hot her hair fanned out from her face. She didn't acknowledge him, but stared harder at her biology book, willing the squiggles to form words.

Edward shook his head at her shyness and went about his business, figuring he wasn't going to push the point until he could carry it to its conclusion. Which to his great happiness, is now only four days later.

Later that Saturday night, after Bella had turned down Alice's offer of a sleepover and gone back to her aunt and uncle's home in order to fit in a midnight run while Emmett was out with Rose and Emmett's parents were out with each other, Alice had come into the empty space, devoid of Edward's old band posters and the lines of shelves holding his CD collection and musical instruments (relocated to the guest room on the first floor), and made a decree: "You need color in here. It's too depressing for Bella!"

Edward had just rolled his eyes, and said something like, "She's not going to be here for the décor, Ali."

"Still, it should be a welcoming environment, Edward. You don't want to make her feel like she's in prison!"

Edward snorted at that. "This is a far cry from prison, Al; and I do want to make her feel safe."

"What about some color on the wall? I can go to the paint-your-own ceramics place tomorrow and make something beautiful!"

"Alice, you do realize that anorexia is just one prolonged suicide attempt? And when we make her eat, she's highly likely to try a different approach to killing herself. We're going to have to be vigilant, and adding ceramics—easily-broken-into-sharp-shards ceramics—into her living space is not my idea of vigilant, okay? No new decorations that aren't soft and unbreakable are allowed. Period."

Alice had made a face but hadn't argued; she hated thinking of Isabella as wanting to kill herself, but she couldn't deny her new friend—her new best friend, she kept insisting to everyone, including Bella herself who found Alice's affection both marvelous and puzzling and, to be frank, a little frightening, mostly because of assuming it would sooner or later be taken away—seemed very sad, and didn't seem to be taking very good care of herself.

"Alright, no ceramics," she said, and flounced away, as unrepentant as Edward feared seeing as she came back from her shopping trip the next day with piles of pillows, fabric totes, an oversized stuffed teddy bear (Edward approved of that purchase wholeheartedly), and an overflowing bag of wooden letters and glossy paint.

She had gotten right to work on her project, and after letting the now-painted wood letters dry overnight, had polished them Monday and hung them Tuesday using poster-hanging stickers—no nails-with the help of Jasper, her always-willing assistant.

"You don't mind, do you, Ed?" Jasper had asked Edward, who had been stretched out on his bed alternating between studying for a calculus test and reviewing his treatment notes for the weekend.

"Nah, I don't think she can do any harm with those, and Al's right – it was a little dead in here. They turned out pretty, Ali-cat. Thank you!"

"You're welcome, Edward," Alice had said, satisfied herself with the overall effect. She had painted the letters of their names in their own colors, with motifs…Bella's was deep blue like the sky, with stars painted on them; Edward's was shades of orange and red, like the sunrise. Arcing over the top of their intermingled first names was first "Swan," in green with images of swans, then "Masen" in gold with actual sparkles ("Fairy dust," Alice insisted) added.

Rounding out the circle effect at the bottom was spaced, "Cullen," in rich, deep, royal purple. If you looked closer, you could see that each of the six letters had a name artfully written in a different color; in fact, it was, with the exception of Bella's which Alice had done herself, their signatures, painted at Alice's insistence on Monday night.

"Alice" was scrawled in a hot pink up the "C," and "Jasper" was more modestly written in a vibrant turquoise down the side of the "U." "Rosalie" was in unmistakable magenta marching sideways across the first "L," while "Em" was oversized and in midnight blue at the bottom of the second "L." Bella's name floated lightly in the same gold sparkle as the "Masen" letters above, winding around the spine of the "E," and "Edward" was spread out diagonally, 2 letters at a time, on the final "N" in a just-darker purple mixed with gold sparkles…Alice's crowning victory of artistic design.

It was all quite overwhelming to Bella, who made out only the "ISABELLA" and "EDWARD" mingled together in the center before hiding back in Edward's chest with a whimper and drawing her arms more tightly around his neck.

"She says they're perfect, Alice," Edward said with feeling, elated with Bella's response to him.

Alice is a little confused by her friend's unwillingness to look at or talk with her, but gamely goes along and is pleased enough by her brother's reaction to clap her hands again and feel successful in making her friend feel wanted and at home.

"Good, Bella, I just want you to be happy," Alice added, reaching up to touch her friend's back affectionately but pulling back like she's been burned when she feels Bella's vertebrae sticking out so prominently from her back.

Alice's eyes go wide as Jasper's arm goes around her shoulders. "God, Edward," Alice says to her brother, whose face looks sad again mixed in with the triumphant, "she's so skinny!"

Edward nods, "I know, Al, but we're going to fix it, alright? You and me and Jazz and Dad and Mom and Rose and Emmett, we're going to fix it; we're going to fix her. Right, baby girl?" and he turns his attention back to Bella, leaning in to kiss the side of her cheek along her hairline as he brushes the hair off her face.

Pressing his own face against hers, he says, "Alright, let's get started," then starts walking to the bathroom after he lifts his head back up.

"What are we doing first?" Alice wants to know, moving away from Jasper's embrace after returning it with a tight hug in order to follow Edward carrying Bella around the bed to the now-doorless bathroom.

"Weighing in," Edward responds, mouthing the words over his shoulder and marching straight back to the scale newly-installed to the right of the shower, the digital readout mounted at his eye level on the wall.

"Jasper, you want to do the honors?" Edward asks, tipping his head towards the clipboard also hanging from a (plastic) hook to the right of the scale, the blank cover page hiding pages of entries with "Date, Time, Weight, Temperature, Pulse" waiting to be filled in.

Stepping onto the scale, Edward says, "Just record it as a total, and we'll figure out me plus the clothes and blanket later."

Bella has no idea what they're doing, so remains relatively calm, still hiding in the safety of Edward's arms.

She startles a little when the thermometer is put into her ear, making Jasper (the thermometer holder) say, "Sorry, darlin', just give it a second," pulling it out when he hears the beep and telling Ali (to whom he'd handed off the clipboard and marker—Edward had vetted every item in the space, and rejected ballpoint pens and pencils for being too dangerous, using a child's Crayola fine-tip marker instead), "97.9."

Everyone was quiet as Edward felt for Bella's pulse, counting, then re-counting as he watched the second-hand sweep on the new (plastic) clock mounted on the wall.

Telling Alice Bella's pulse, he gets gruff – it's way too fast for a resting pulse and even Alice knows it. There is quiet for a few moments as Edward just stands there, holding her, feeling her butterfly heart fly against his own chest and praying to get the next bit-and the next few days—but especially the next bit, right.

Taking a deep breath, Edward decides to get it over with. "Alright, next we see if there's any fluid waiting to be voided."

"Voided?" Alice asks, her nose wrinkling, the term foreign and a little ominous. Edward is moving towards the toilet with Bella as she asks this, and he responds cheerfully, masking his own nervousness about the next boundary incursion, saying, "We check to see if she has to pee, Ali."

Alice blushes, says quietly, "Oh," and stands speechless for once, watching as Edward gently sets Bella down on her feet in front of the toilet.

Without turning or taking his eyes off Bella, he says to Alice, "Grab me one of my t-shirts off the top shelf in the bathroom closet, Al, would you please?" as he runs his hands down the side of Bella's body to her waist, circling it from the sides.

"I've got you, Baby Girl," he leans in and says quietly to Bella, who is starting to cry. Then, as his hands circle to the front of her waist and start undoing the jeans button there, he says to Alice again, his eyes on the face of the blushing, downcast girl in front of him with tears rolling down her cheeks, his hands busy first with the button, then with gently pulling the jeans down her legs, "And a pair of my boxers too, please. We're going to have to wrap her in a blanket—" he stops for a moment to squat down and push the jeans to the floor, keeping one hand at her waist as he does so, and saying up to Bella in a different, darker, stronger, warmer, more commanding tone "Right foot up, baby; good girl, now left foot – good job listening to Daddy," and he takes a break from everything and pulls her, standing, into the front of him, her now-naked legs against his jeans-clad ones.

They stand there a few moments, Edward rocking them back-and-forth before turning his head towards Alice this time and finishing, as if he hadn't stopped at all, "But there's no way around that until we get her some warm, safe clothes that fit better. I've got some stuff on order, but I'd appreciate it if you would head to PA and grab some comfortable clothes for her – no drawstrings or removable elastic though."

Alice starts nodding her head immediately, "Of course! I'll go right away. I mean, whenever is a good time. Jazz, will you come with me?"

Jasper says, "I think I better stay here this time, Ali, just in case Ed here needs some back-up. Do you mind if Emmett drives you instead?"

Alice smiles, says, "You mean Rose, Jazzy; she always insists on driving and Emmett always lets her – but that's okay, I don't mind. That's what you get when you refuse to get your driver's license!"

"You know I love driving you, Darlin'," Jasper says, and Alice quickly nods and reassures him, leaning in to kiss his cheek for good measure, "I know."

Edward meanwhile has been leaning in to Bella, speaking softly in her ear, his arms crossed around her back and holding her tightly against him. "You know you're my girl now, right sweetheart?"

And Bella, calm again as she is being held tightly in his arms, barely able to move her head which is pressed so snug against him, nodded yes.

"And you know your body is mine now, to take good care of?"

There's a little more of a pause this time, as Bella hadn't really thought of it that way, but she can't argue that her body is his for as long as he wants it or any other part of her, so after a couple moment, she nods "Yes" again.

He rewards her resignation with a "Good girl; good girl for trusting Daddy," and squeezes her even more tightly still.

"So I'm going to take care of your body now, Bella baby. Because it isn't yours anymore; it's my body—it's Daddy's body," and as he says this last part, he starts sliding her panties off, first one side with one hand, then wrapping that hand back around her waist, sliding them off the other side and pulling them all the way down, bending both their knees as he follows them down.

When the panties hit the floor, he sits her down on the toilet, bending her backwards gently until she lands with a soft thud. As her bottom hits the unmistakable seat, Bella freezes, her whole body seizing up in shock and embarrassment.

Edward squats in front of her, keeping both hands around her back, his head leaning in next to her bent one, saying "Good girl, sweetheart; that's my good girl."

Bella is far gone now in her mind, and says nothing; part of her is watching though, curious to see what happens next.

"Let go, Baby Doll," Edward says as he moves one hand to press on her stomach, "Let go for Daddy."

Bella stays frozen for a few seconds, but Edward keeps up the pressure and the words, and sooner than either of them would have believed, the sound of urine hitting the plastic insert inside the seat hits the ears of everyone in the room.

Bella blushes but is too far gone to speak; Edward says triumphantly, "Good girl, Bella! I'm so proud of you, Baby!" and is more relieved than he's felt all day.

When she's done, and it's not long, Edward presses gently one more time, saying, "Is there anymore, Baby Girl?"

She manages to shake her head "No," and Edward leans in to kiss her cheek. "Good girl, baby; I'm so proud of you," he says again, and Bella cries.

"I'm going to clean you up now, baby," he says as he grabs a handful of toilet paper, then reaches down to press against her, careful to move from front to back and to remember to throw the used tissue in the trash can to the side and not in the urine-catcher still in the toilet.

Once, twice, three times he wipes her, and the room is silent other than his soft, insistent stream of "Good girl; almost done; such a good girl for Daddy"'s.

When he's satisfied she's clean enough, he says without turning his head, "I'll take those boxers now, Al," and Alice without further prompting snaps out of her daze to rush them over to him, one of his hands reaching behind him for the shorts.

As soon as he has them he is pulling them on to Bella, helping her stand as he pulls them up. "Good girl," he says, "Good girl."

Then, with her up and against his front again, he says—again not turning from his eyes on Bella's head—"Jasper, would you come and hold Bella for me please while I finish up here?"

Jasper moves as quickly as Alice had, coming up to the side of Edward and saying, "'I'm right here, Edward. Hey, darlin', Uncle Jasper has you now," and reaching in from the side he wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her to the side and into him.

Jasper feels a little resistance from Edward as he pulls, but after a quick kiss on her head and "Be a good girl for Uncle Jazz, Sweetheart," Edward releases her, and turns to watch as Jasper pulls her in as tightly as Edward had.

Putting a hand on the back of Bella's head, Edward says, "Good girl," one more time, then leans down to flip up the lid and remove the plastic tray from inside. Carefully lifting it up he notes the level—not quite the lowest mark—and says to Alice, "Write this down, please, Al," waiting for her to grab the clipboard again before noting down the volume as Edward empties the tray in the toilet then rinses it in the sink and wipes it out with the sanitary wipes waiting to the side.

Lastly, as Alice is replacing the clipboard and Jasper is holding Bella tightly still, Edward washes his hands with the care and precision of a physician in training, drying them as well, then turns back to Jasper saying, "I'll take my girl back now, Jazz, thank you," and reaching in to pull her forward back to his chest.

Jasper lets her go with a pat on her back, saying, "Thanks for being good for your Uncle Jazz, Sweetie," then turning to head back to Alice and asking, "What next, Edward?"

Edward stoops to pick up Bella and says, "Back to the bedroom. Do you still have my t-shirt?"

"Yes, it's right here," Alice says, holding it up as she follows Edward carrying Bella out of the door, Jasper hitting the lights off in the bathroom as they exit.

Heading to the bed, Edward toes off his shoes, pulls back the covers, and sets Bella down on the bed.

Quickly he pulls her shirt off, and Jasper and Ali both get a glimpse of Bella's emaciated chest. Jasper just shakes his head but Alice gasps and starts to cry, a small, "Oh, Bella!" escaping before Edward interrupts with a brusque "Shirt, please, Ali!" and she startles but rushes it forward for Edward to pull quickly over Bella's head and over each arm.

"Good girl, Baby," Edward croons as he gets the shirt pulled straight, then throws a "Thanks, Ali; you can go on that shopping trip anytime now," over his shoulder as he slides Bella over to the middle of the bed. Leaving her alone for just a moment, he says, "Jazz, grab the folding chair from the closet please, and set up on the far side by the door."

Jasper responds, "Of course," and moves to the locked bedroom closet, entering the combination they had decided on earlier (the date the Cullens had moved to Forks) and pulling out the chair. "Anything else you need?"

Edward is busy pulling off his outer oxford shirt and stripping off his pants, but manages, "Nope, that's it for now. Esme will bring up the soup when it's ready; I think our girl could use a little nap until then."

Alice has been watching and decides this is the time to head out so she doesn't miss anything; she looks at Bella with her eyes so tightly shut it's obvious she's awake and says, "I'm going to go get you some cute pj's, Bella, and some slippers and a robe too, and maybe some yoga pants and t-shirts. I'll be back soon!"

Edward adds to the list: "Don't forget a sweatshirt or two, Al, and remember warm, safe, and comfortable are more important than cute. Thanks, Ali Cat!"

Alice says, "No problem, big brother" (Edward had been born a few minutes before her); "Jazzy, don't let Edward do anything else before I get back!"

Jasper laughs and says, "Edward's the boss, darlin', but I"ll do my best. Now quick scoot so you can get back again and have dinner with us," and he stands up to walk Alice to the door, unlatching the lock Alice can't reach either and kissing her at the doorway.

Alice beams up at him, kisses him back, then flounces down the hallway with a last, "Be back soon!" and Jasper closes the door behind her.

"Jazz, before you sit down again, grab an Ensure from the fridge would you? We need to start pushing the liquids. Make sure to mark it down on the log sheet too, please."

"Will do, Ed – do you think she's in more of a chocolate or strawberry mood?"

Edward's now in bed with Bella pulled tight against him, propping himself on pillows and her on his chest. "Hmmmm, let's try the chocolate, how does that sound, Baby Girl?" only he's not really asking and she knows it, and turns farther into his chest.

Jasper breaks the seal and removes the lid, setting it down on top of the clipboard where he has dutifully recorded the beverage and the time of opening it, then walks the drink over to Edward before returning to his spot between the bed and the door.

Edward lowers the container to Bella, pressing it against her lips. She dodges, shoving herself face first against his chest.

Edward tries again, a little more forcefully with the other arm pulling her back, but Bella avoids it, and he spills a little on the bedspread instead. "Washcloth, please," Edward says, swallowing back the "Shit" that wanted to come out but managing to avoid swearing in front of his little girl.

He trades the drink container for the rag, and as he's mopping up, says, "Well, that's not going to work. Time for Plan B!"

"You want me to fill one up?" Jasper asks, eyeing the bottles in the box on top of the fridge.

"Yep, to the 8 oz line please," Edward responds.

There is no more talking as Jasper pours the liquid into a clear baby bottle, raises it to eye level to make sure it's at the right measurement, sees it's short so adds a little more, then screws the top on complete with synthetic nipple.

They don't talk, but both young men are sharing a combined nausea and euphoria at the idea of what Edward is about to do—though Jasper has more nausea and Edward more euphoria.

Wiping off a little dribble of Ensure on the side of the bottle with another cloth, Jasper walks it over to Edward, carefully keeping it out of Bella's very restricted line of sight.

Edward holds out the cloth to transfer, and Jasper makes the switch, asking quietly as he does, "Where do you want me?"

Edward says, "Stand by for an extra pair of hands—if it comes to it, I'll hold her body and you do the rest. Okay?" and he actually lifts his eyes to those of his friend as he asks the last bit, aware that they were crossing all sorts of lines and wanting to make sure Jasper was still with him.

What he saw was immensely reassuring. Jasper looked serious as shit, but not like he was thinking about bailing. He saw Edward checking and so reassured him, "We've got this man. She's got to eat."

Edward, completely relieved and back on track, grins and says, "She certainly does. Here goes everything!"

Then turning in towards Bella's hiding place, he says a little more loudly, "Come on out baby girl," and as he says this he pulls her torso up and away from him, grabbing her by the shoulders and hips.

She fights, not knowing what is coming but knowing she doesn't trust their affection to last and is far too vulnerable for her own good right now.

Edward says, "Looks like you're up, man. You got this?"

"Yep," Jasper says as he throws the rag towards the food prep area and approaches the bed, half-climbing up with one knee on the mattress in front of the Edward-and-Bella mass of limbs, and catches Bella's terrified eyes. "Hey, sweetheart," he says, keeping her attention off of his hand moving the bottle in a wide circle up towards her head. "Something to know about your dad and me, when it comes to the well-being of the people we love…"

Her eyes go a little wider at Jasper's use of the words "dad" and "love," and he sees he has her and gets ready to pounce, covering the approach of the bottle to her lips with, "We don't take 'no' for an answer," and as he said the word answer, he was pressing the tip of the nipple in between Bella's surprised lips, and pushing forward as she tried to draw her head back—stopped by Edward's chest- so she couldn't escape the bottle's dripping contents as they started leaking into her mouth through the enlarged hole Edward had made after doing some preparatory research and experimentation himself.

Bella's eyes go the widest they've ever been or will be as she tastes the chocolate, chalky liquid pooling in her mouth, and the panicked, mental calculations of what she should do next, not wanting to spit up all over Edward and Jasper but failing to see another option, are brought up short as Edward whispers, "Stroke her throat to make her swallow, Jazz," and Jasper does, and Bella does, and all at once the fight goes out of her as she feels the trickle of her enormous loss and even bigger gain go down the back of her throat. She starts to sob.

"I think I've got it now," Edward says to Jasper as he turns Bella in slightly against his chest, freeing one arm not needed for restraint at the moment and using it to re-claim the bottle while Jasper leans in and continues to rub down against the front of Bella's neck. "That's my girl," Edward says to her, such pride and love and assurance in his voice; then he looks up at Jasper and grins, correcting himself by saying, "that's OUR girl," and Jasper nods and agrees, "Damn straight."

They stay like that until the bottle is empty, then Edward hands it off to Jasper who heads over to clean up the area and return the rest of the Ensure bottle to the fridge, noting the 8 oz that have just been consumed.

Edward is cocooned with Bella, talking to her in the soft, soothing tones of a parent with a new baby, and Bella is…re-born.

She really does become a baby for a while, losing all speech and will, turning into Edward at every opportunity, refusing to participate in anything but also not fighting again like she had fought that first bottle.

Finally after a week of silence, she wakes up in the sunshine, held tight against Edward's chest, and wiggles. "Daddy? Daddy, I have to go to the bathroom."

Edward wakes up instantly at the first daddy, and is ecstatic to hear the second, and the full sentence that follows.

He kisses her forehead and says easily back, his voice scratchy from sleep, "Alright, baby girl – let's get you in there then."

And he carries her in, and she stands up in front of the toilet but doesn't do anything else, looking up at him with absolute trust in her face that almost makes him cry but instead he distracts himself with pulling down her underpants and helping her sit and saying "Good girl; good girl for telling Daddy what you need," as she pees, not blushing more than a little bit and most of all not hiding her face from him but continuing to look up at him with that same trust, believing faster than he thought possible that he would do nothing to hurt her and everything to help her. It was sweet and endearing beyond measure, and his mood was so ebullient when Jasper knocked a few minutes later it was obvious from his "Good morning, Jazz!" and Jasper said so.

"Well you sound happy this morning. How is our Little Miss Sunshine?"

"Fantastic, aren't you baby girl?" Edward responded lightly, holding her on his lap in the LaZBoy (a cozy alternative to the bed that Bella could never have dragged across the room by herself) where they'd been sitting—cuddling with Bella tucked in a blanket in his lap-since he washed their hands in the bathroom, waiting for Jasper to join them so they could shower.

Bella responded with a quiet, "I love you, Daddy," which nonetheless was loud enough for Jasper to hear, raise his eyebrows in happy surprise, turn to share a meaningful look with Edward, then lean in to Bella as he crouched down in front of them and said, "What about me, Darlin'? How do you feel about your Uncle Jazz?"

He was just gently teasing, ending with his hand stroking down the back of her head, ready to take her in his arms so Edward could get the shower ready to his satisfaction. But she surprised him too, turning her head a little to look at him and saying, "I love you too, Uncle Jasper," and as she says this she reaches a hand out to him, which Jasper grabs up and places a kiss on.

"Wow, Edward, I see why you're so happy this morning. Baby girl, you just made my day," Jasper says as he holds out his arms and Edward, reluctantly as usual, bundles Bella into them, getting up for Jasper to take his place in the chair. "Now come here and cuddle with me," Jasper says, and she does.

May you feel cuddled even if you aren't! Feeling loved and held is achievable as a state of mind…keep practicing. You deserve it.

Xoxoxo liza

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