AN: HI GUYS! SO GLAD TO BE POSTING ANOTHER UPDATE. STILL NOT SURE HOW MANY CHAPTERS I HAVE LEFT. WE'RE ABOUT TO GET SOME ANSWERS ABOUT THAT AWKWARD FAMILY MEETING.

Rated M: language and sex are very graphic in this chapter. As usual.

Disclaimer: Stephanie, I'm very jealous I don't own your shit. You do.

Chapter 9

JPOV

Part 1

Blindsided

Shit! Shit! What happened?! How the hell? How did we go from I wanna keep you to her, laying here, passed out in my arms? Fuck.

"Bella, baby girl, please wake up baby!" I'm pleading and gently rocking her, "Bella, please wake up!"

She's physically fine. She's breathing fine. Her heartbeat is normal. She's just asleep and not waking up… FUCK!

I brush my thumbs along her cheeks and whisper, "Please, pretty girl, you're scaring me. Wake up. Wake up sleeping beauty."

Her heart rate picks up a bit and her eyelashes flutter.. there she is.

I sigh in relief, "Nice to see you again, pretty girl."

She smiles and lifts her hand into my hair, pulling me in for a kiss.

I slowly press my lips to hers. Warm and soft and sweet Bella on my lips. Her grip in my hair tightens as she pulls me against her face frantically. Her tongue swipes across my lips, begging entrance to my mouth.

I open for her eagerly, responding in kind with my own tongue. Her taste is fucking sublime. A softer flavor than that sweet pussy of hers, almost romantic. It's fucking drowning me. She's drowning me. I need her.

I pull away slightly to give her space to breathe, and I stare into those beautiful brown eyes, "You scared me, precious girl."

A blush covers her face, creeping down her neck and chest, "Sorry, I've had this panic attack problem since you guys skipped town on me. Honestly, they almost had me committed. I was… hallucinating. My brain works itself into a frenzy thinking I'm about to be abandoned again."

I feel my face frown, "I'm so sorry, Bella. I never wanted to hurt you. None of us really wanted to leave, even Edward. He just thought it was the only way to keep you safe from vampires."

She rolled her eyes… I know.

"I will never leave you again, sweetheart. I swear to you. I'll end things with Alice and we can be together. For real. Nothing bad will happen to us. I won't let it."

She wraps her arms around my neck and pulls herself into a tight hug.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, cowboy. I'm still recovering from the last broken promise a vampire made me."

"Have I lied to you?" I pull her head forward to look into her eyes. I want her to know she can trust me. I force myself to keep my gaze on her eyes and not on that hot pink mouth.. slightly parted and.. swollen and… fuck.

I crash my mouth against hers, kissing her deeply only to, against my bodily instincts, pry my lips from hers so that I'm able to whisper softly against her lips:

"I've never wanted anyone the way I want you. It's fucking scary. I'm obsessed with you."

Her eyes light up in excitement as she pulls my bottom lip between her teeth, "Say that again, Jasper."

I groan, "I'm obsessed with you Bella. I can't stop thinking about you. …Your delicious fucking body, your fucking exquisite pussy… Oh baby girl, I would kill every single person on this planet to please you in a heartbeat."

Her jaw is slack open in awe and lust as she breathes out, "Fuck, Jasper… I'm so fucking hot right now. Don't stop there.. Tell me more!"

"Whatever you want, pretty girl. Whatever you want I'll get it for you. I fucking worship you." She's grinding into my lap in those fucking shorts and it feels like the metal button keeping my jeans up is about to pop off like a cork from a champagne bottle. I just want to slide into her so I can finally feel her tight, moist heat squeezing around me.

She pulls back slightly and unzips my pants, plunging her hand inside, wrapping her soft, warm, slender fingers around my aching cock.

"Cmon Jasper.. Take it. Take what you want.. I want you to have it."

She's offering herself to me. Her virginity. My Bella wants me to have it. I lower my jeans enough for my cock to escape, giving myself just enough room to maneuver without destroying them. She pulls her shorts to the side and unceremoniously angles the tip against her entrance.

I hold her there momentarily to savor this moment and check to make sure there are no doubts here. I mean there are none, she practically didn't give me a choice. My girl takes what she wants, and right now she wants my cock.

I slowly lower her onto me, supporting her slender frame with my hands. Her jaw is slack, the addictive fire of her breath filling the space between us as she watches the place where we connect. Little by little I allow her hips to drop slowly further and further down. Ohh god.. So fucking warm. So tight.

"Fuuuuck, Bella you feel so good.."

She breaks her focus for a very brief moment and nods at me, finding herself still at a loss for words. Her eyes drift immediately back down, watching intently as I slowly disappear within her. I feel some resistance and realize I've hit her barrier. I offer her an apologetic look, timing myself with her breaths, waiting for the right moment to help brace her for what's to come as I quickly push through it and sink her down on my cock to adjust to the feel of it.

Her face is pinched in discomfort while we wait- a soft, hesitant moan escaping those pretty pink lips of hers- but I know the coolness of my body is at least helping to keep it from hurting too badly. After a few short breaths, Bella locks eyes with me and begins to rock her hips back and forth letting me know she's ready for me to start moving.

Being surrounded by her is fucking heaven and hell, all at once. So fucking good. Tight, wet warmth wrapped around me.. pulsing and.. milking and.. fuck if I don't feel like I would burst right then and there. And I'm a vampire, for fucks sake. I'm not a two-pump chump. There's no way I'm gonna embarrass myself right now.

My fingers knead the flesh at her hips as I find the rhythm of her movements. Enjoying the soft pliancy of her body, I grip down a little harder and lift her up slightly, teasing against her entrance. Her mewl of dissatisfaction at the sudden emptiness is short-lived as I plunge back into her with ease. I'm exceptionally pleased at the minimal traces of blood from the destruction of her hymen. Less for me to have to be cautious about.

A sharp, throaty moan emanates from her panting lips, as I repeat the motion.

"Fuck, Bella, you feel so goddamn good, baby girl." My fucking eyes should be stuck in the back of my head with how often they're rolling back. My girl… fantasies do not do this justice.

"Jasper… mmnnh.. so full…" fuck yeah, doll, I'll fill that pussy all the way up. I'll dig myself so deep inside you, it'll be impossible to tell where I end and you begin.

"Oh god.." She cries out, throwing her head back, face pointed to the sky. Locks of her long, mahogany hair slice through the air, cascading gently down along the curve of her arched back.

"Like that, pretty girl?" I growl out as I pump into her.

"So.." Her nails are trying to find purchase in my stone hard skin and I can feel them scraping against the texture of me.

"Fucking…" Her thighs are trembling as she grinds against me.

"Good." She shudders, her voice dropping into a low purring sound.

I feel her hips moving on their own, so I match the pace of her grinding with thrusts of my own, kneading her sensitive clit up against the hardness of my hilt, rolling her pelvis against mine. Each thrust I feel my cock pushing itself deeper and deeper inside. Each withdraw, I feel her tightness pulsing, eager to pull me back in.

"Cmon, darlin', let me watch you cum. I want to hear you scream my name."

Her head flops forward and her hair curtains around our faces. Her hot breath washes over me in desperate bursts. She's panting, and writhing and coming apart at the seams, barely holding on. Her eyebrows are pushed together in focus as her eyes clench themselves closed. Her jaw is slack, mouth gaping open, drool dripping from her lips as I fuck that beautiful pussy just the way she wants it.

Reading emotions has never been so fucking perfect before. As soon as I feel her start to crest, she's chanting, "Jasper… oh fuck… Jas.. hnnng.. per.. FUCK!"

Say my fucking name, baby.

Her body starts to tremble and shake. I stable her hips to help her ride it out, supporting her frame to help her keep her rhythm. Fuck she's so goddamn beautiful when she's cumming. I can see beads of sweat beginning to form on her forehead and all along the rest of her soft, milky skin. It's slick to the touch, but I keep matching her descending rhythm. Her lower lip is cherry red from her biting down onto it. She's so fucking hot. I temper my own release just so I can watch her fucking fall.

She's absolutely perfect.

I feel her inner walls milking my cock and her body slumped over in pleasured exhaustion. My girl's still rocking those hips for me though. The feeling inside is different post-orgasm, both tighter and more relaxed throughout. It almost makes no sense, but fuck if it doesn't feel incredible. My girl's a trooper. I feel her desperation as she's wanting so badly to return the favor. Her walls pulse and squeeze around me as her sensitive clit brushes up against me, causing her whole body to twitch jaggedly between each motion. I'm so fucking close. A couple hard thrusts and I feel my balls begin to tighten. My large hands slide up to cradle the small of her back as I pull her down as far as she can possibly go. My knees bend so I can plant my feet firmly down onto the ground and brace myself to push all the way inside and I can feel jets of my cum violently erupting out, flooding her insides.

We stay locked like this for what feels like forever, melted together. I feel her breath against my chest as she lays on top of me, trying to regain her breath.

I run my hand up her back and onto the back of her head and kiss her thoroughly, "You're so fucking perfect, Bella."

All I get from her right now are hums and sighs. It might be a bit much for her to speak out loud right now.

I take the opportunity to reset our clothes and clear up the scent of sex before I stand up and pull her into my arms, "How are you, darlin'?"

"Jasper… I-"

"I wasn't too rough with you, was I? It was your first time and I know I'm a little large so…"

"Way to check on me and toot your own horn, cowboy." She laughs, "Really, it was perfect. Thank you for not trying to make a big deal out of it. I just wanted to flow with the moment and ride the wave of desire. I wasn't looking for a mattress with rose petals and one billion candles."

I have to laugh because I have no doubt, that was Edwards plan. I run my fingers through her hair, "Bella, thank you so much for the privilege to be your first. It means so much to me that you trust me in that way. I… I love you."

I freeze, waiting for her response. People shouldn't talk after orgasms, weird shit comes out of their mouths. Now I have to sit here while she processes that, hoping I didn't fucking scare her. Way to go, 'Jazzy,' that's two milestones now that you've rushed through unceremoniously.

A wide grin splits her face, "I love you too."

I hear the footfalls of the guys heading toward us and I pull her close in case things didn't go well with Peter and Edward's little 'post-fight rendezvous.'

I whisper into her ear, "They're on their way back."

She starts shaking in my arms, her fear is palpable. "Is he gonna…"

I whisper comforting words in her ear, "Don't worry, precious girl, I got you. If he finds out, he finds out."

"You won't all leave me again."

"I will never leave you. You and me are forever, darlin'." I vow to her. I've never been more serious.

"And Alice?"

"I'll talk to her today."

I direct my thoughts at Edward, How the hell could you leave her here? Do you have any idea the insecure mess she is? She thinks we're gonna abandon her… again. She thinks once you figure out that she's not good enough for you, you'll leave her all alone. Or worse, she'll be killed by the Volturri. She saw everything, Edward. How you reacted to Peter.

"You really gonna bail on the pixie for her?" Peter asks me, point blank.

I roll my eyes, "You don't get it, Pete, she's fucking perfect. It's like she's taken up residence in my brain and she fucking owns me."

A smirk spreads across his face, "Well you just keep on hopping from one owner to another, Jazzy. Can't wait to meet your next one."

I growl at him, "This one's different!"

"Like Alice was different than Maria. I get it, they're different people. Each with their own unique whip for you. Say, is it discipline or treats that motivate you? Do you have your own special Scooby snack for when you're an extra good boy."

"Watch your mouth, Peter." There's no questioning my voice on this. There's no room for his stupid goddamn opinion. He doesn't know what about me like that.

"I said my piece." He sighs, smiling while lifting up his hands in surrender.

A silence falls over us as we shake off the hostile energy before I have to ask, "So… how was Edward?"

Peter grins and waggles his eyebrows at me, "The Cullen pretty boy is fucking delicious. He needed that shit. It was like he chilled right the fuck out as soon as he came."

"I noticed." There's a small part of me that's a little jealous, but there was no way I'd trade any of the shit they did for my time with Bella.

"Char called earlier today."

"Do you have to leave?"

"What? No. I might have to check in soon. She's nearby for now, but I think she's working her way south toward California. She never could resist the blonde surfer locks." He winks at me.

"Goddammit Peter." I shove him lightly, "I haven't played like that with you guys in a long-ass time. If I wasn't knee deep in this shit I'd go. Fuck, I'd bring Bella."

"I could bring Bella."

"No fucking way, I know what you're after with her and she's mine. No way I'm letting you near her until that shit's official."

"I don't think she'd be opposed to being mine for an hour.. or three."

"Shut the fuck up." I throw my shirt back on and race toward the house, Peter at my heels. When we arrive, the house is buzzing with activity.

"Jasper, why aren't you answering your phone?" Alice chirps from the front porch of the house.

"I must have left it at home. What's going on, Sprite?"

A strange emotion flutters beneath her surface and before I can figure out what it is. She smiles and says, "Bella and Edward called a family meeting. They have some big announcement to make. You were with them today, any idea what it might be?"

I shake my head. This isn't the time for this conversation.

"No clue at all?" She presses and I feel the scratching feeling of irritation radiate from her.

I shake my head again and her feelings even out. She's not happy, she's not sad, she's just even. Odd. She grabs my hand and pulls me into the dining room, settling on my lap.

"Edward and Bella will be here in two minutes." She calls out to the house, and then turns to speak to me alone, "You're gonna keep your goddamn mouth shut during this family meeting. Our talk we started outside… it isn't finished."

Oh shit! Scary Alice. Her emotions don't give me any indication that she is feeling hostile. Shes been with me so long she can mask that shit like a pro. She's a terrifying little creature.

I'm frozen as Bella and Edward enter the room. My brave girl's heart is pounding, she's so nervous. I fight hard not to get up and go to her to see what's wrong.

Carlisle steps forward, "You said you had an announcement to make, Edward… Bella."

Edward starts in, feeling resigned but overall, at peace, "We had a talk about our relationship and…"

Alice bounces off of my lap and shouts, "Jasper and I are gonna get married again. Renewing our vows and throwing a fantastic party!"

My eyes fly open wide. The fuck did she just say? In a panic, I glance over at Peter for help but he just shakes his head. My eyes frantically shift to look at Bella, willing her not to believe it, but she's completely shut down. She won't even look at me. She looks fucking heartbroken.

"Alice!" Esme glares, "You interrupted Edward. He called the meeting. Please wait for Edward to be finished before making announcements. That was incredibly rude."

"Sorry." She's not.

Carlisle addresses Edward again, glancing at Bella, "You were saying…"

Edward steps forward and grabs my girl's hand, "What we were going to inform everyone was: we decided to wait to have the wedding until after Bella's change. She's been struggling with anxiety about the Volturri checking up so we decided to wait to celebrate once everything is settled."

Bella nodded numbly along with him. She didn't fucking end it? Did he do something to her while they were alone?

Edward glared at me, expecting something, but I can't move. Alice's threat was implied, but I know that girl follows through. Whatever she was gonna do, she'll do.

The family smiles and approves of this idea… are you fucking kidding me? Eddie's announcement was short and fucking not sweet. He just leaves with my girl.

I move to follow, and Alice gets directly in my path, eyeing me. She barely contains her sneer when she asks me for a hunt. All I can do is nod and follow her. This shit is gonna get worse before it gets better.

"I can't believe you, Jasper!" She snarls at me, "You were just gonna let that get sprung on me? You weren't gonna give me any warning?"

"You know." I sigh, knowing it's not a question.

"Of course I know, Jasper. I can see the fucking future!" She snaps, tapping the side of her head for emphasis.

"I only made split second decisions." I argued. That was weak, Major.

She rolls her eyes at me like I just said the dumbest thing in the world, "They were still decisions. I swear.. you are so incredibly brilliant sometimes I forget how dense you can be when you're thinking with your dick."

"Watch it, Alice." I warn.

Her eyes shift to flat black, she shouts menacingly, "Me?! Me, watch it?! Ha! I already did! I let it go on because I figured she'd be like the other humans you were 'fascinated' with. You stalk her. You fuck her. You drain her. It's what you do."

She pauses for fucking drama, "But, Nooo!… not Bella. Bella, Bella, Bella… is her pussy made of gold?! Diamonds? The fucking secrets of the universe, Jasper?! Tell me what's so fascinating that she has every guy trying to dive into her 'precious girl' honeypot?"

Ok, so she's mad. I almost eye-rolled myself on that… yeah, no shit, she's mad.

"She's special. I can't speak for anyone else, but.. to me, she's special."

Her hurt seeps through as she whispers, "I used to be special."

"I'm-…" I start but she shoots me a withering glare that tells me to shut the fuck up and let her finish.

Alice runs her hand down her face in frustration, "This was a really shitty thing to do to me, Jasper. You really screwed the family pooch here. We were together for more than half a century, I think I deserve a little more respect than to have your side-piece spring your affair on me in front of my family. Why didn't I hear it from you first? When did you become such a sneaky fucking coward that you couldn't do me the common decency of sparing me that embarrassing moment?"

I don't really have an answer to that. She's right. I fucked up. I know this, but I can't help but try to defend myself.

"I never said I was a good man, Alice. You did. I tried, but I'm fucking not. I'm selfish and impulsive and completely ruled by my emotions, which makes me a fantastic lover but a shitty husband. I'm not some domesticated Cullen. I'm a Whitlock. I did this family shit for you, Alice. I was gonna snap at some point, it just happened to be now."

"With my best friend!" She growls but she's already resigned and losing steam. Suddenly a smirk crosses her face and she lets out an anxiety inducing self satisfied smug as fuck chuckle, "Oh this is rich! Oh baby, you're not gonna believe what's coming next. You know your pretty girl? Precious girl? Darlin', doll, baby Bella?"

I can't move, I'm frozen, what about Bella?

"She's gone. She fucking left you behind. A-DI-OS! She rode off into the sunset on your brothers' backs… well, until they decided a car was a better idea. I don't think she was happy for us. What can I say? Everybody cries at weddings." She's full-on laughing now.

"What the hell, Alice?!" I finally find my balls, about damn time, "Where is she going?"

"Like I'm gonna tell you! Serves your cheating lying ass right. Figure it out.. better yet, call your butt buddy Peter." She smiles, "Oh, and by the way, you didn't have to shoot me with lust every time I spoke with Charlie. The feelings were already there, he's a fine man. You can tell Bella when you find her, oops- if you find her, that he'll be well taken care of."

My rage is bubbling and I have to cool down or I'll crush my phone before I even get a chance to call to find out where they are.

"Goodbye, Jasper, hope I don't see you again." She laughs and walks off. Yep, she hates me. I fucking earned that.

Part 2

BPOV

Still loving you

"I will never leave you again, sweetheart. I swear to you. I'll end things with Alice and we can be together. For real. Nothing bad will happen to us. I won't let it."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, cowboy. I'm still recovering from the last broken promise a vampire made me." I can't help the hurt I have pulsing through me. I'm scared. Just thought we were gonna fool around and help each other out. I never thought my heart would come into play. I can't go through this again. I wrap myself around him gripping so tightly it hurts a little.

Jasper's hands work their way to the sides of my face as he angles my head to lock eyes with me. He's trying to make a point. He wants me to know he's serious.

"Have I lied to you?" His gaze shifts to my mouth and I can feel the desire burning between us. His lips connect roughly with mine as he whispers against them, "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you. It's fucking scary. I'm so fucking obsessed with you."

Fuck that's hot. Like throw away the panties 'cause they're ruined kind-of-hot. My teeth tug at his bottom lip and I shudder, "Say that again, Jasper."

He groans loudly, grinding against me in his lap, "I'm obsessed with you Bella. I can't stop thinking about you, your delicious fucking body, your fucking exquisite pussy. Oh baby girl, I would kill every single person on this planet to please you in a heartbeat."

I feel like I'm about to combust. I'm fucking dripping. All I can do is whimper, "Fuck… I'm so fucking hot right now. Tell me more!"

"Whatever you want, pretty girl. Whatever you want, I'll get it for you. I fucking worship you." Jasper's lips work their way to my neck as he whispers his dirty secrets into my ear. I can't help but to rock my hips against him. I want him so fucking bad at this point I don't care if we get caught. I don't care if I die in this moment, I need him. No more waiting.

I lean back away from him and finger the zipper on his jeans, inching it down. My hand slips inside and wraps around his beautiful thick cock. I need it inside me. I know he wants it too, so I offer, "Cmon Jasper, take what you want. I want you to have it."

His eyes stay locked in mine as he pushes his pants down past his hips, his cock springing forth from its denim prison. His hands lock around my hips as I lift onto my knees and pull my shorts to the side, positioning him at my opening. He holds me there for a moment. I can tell he's scanning me, searching for any trace of something to indicate I may not be ready, but I most definitely am, and I won't let him take this moment away from us. I fucking want him. I need him. I'm obsessed with him.

He slowly lowers my body onto his. I can't help but watch his tip disappear slowly inside of me. He's so fucking big.. Oh fuck, how is it possibly going to fit? I already feel so absolutely full.

His eyebrows draw together as he groans, "Fuuuuck, Bella you feel so good."

All I can do is nod because my attention is one hundred percent locked on his beautiful cock slowly sliding inside of me. There's a slight pinched feeling. It's a hot and uncomfortable and totally foreign sensation. Jasper pauses, briefly. When my eyes meet his to ask about it, he shoots me an apologetic smile before pressing all the way into me. It's over in the blink of an eye and before I know it, my hips are flush with his. It's stinging and burning and it's so… full. I focus on breathing and relaxing through the pain. I knew this was coming, and I most certainly don't want to stop now.

The pain begins to recede and is slowly dissolving to a more manageable discomfort. The coolness of his… everything.. is tempering the searing sensation of my torn maidenhood. Blech… Maidenhood. My eyes meet his once more and I roll my hips to let him know I'm ready to start the show.

He starts to move, gradually harder and harder and I can feel my body begin to mold itself around him. The head of his cock is rubbing oh so deliciously at that spot inside that makes me cry out every single time. I can feel him pushing deeper and deeper inside with every thrust. It's… so much different than his mouth or his hands.. Fuck, that feels sooo good… So.. full.. I feel his stiff cock absolutely churning and mixing up my insides as I grind my clit against that sexy patch of dark blonde hair at his base. The friction makes my skin flush with warmth. So good..

I whimper as he lifts me almost all the way off of his length… keeping nothing but the tip pressed just barely past my entrance. Without him inside I feel so… empty. He's teasing me. It's not fair. Gimme. Just as I'm about to pout, he quickly plunges the full length of his beautiful thick cock back inside of me. An embarrassingly loud moan escapes my throat as he then begins to thrust into me over and over. As the thickest part of his length passes through, it massages the walls inside of my aching pussy, the hardness of the rim of his head scraping along the slick ridges on its way out. The duality of the alternating feelings of fullness and emptiness is making my whole body tense and release over and over.

"Fuck, Bella, you feel so goddamn good, baby girl." He whispers out in a raspy, masculine groan.

I watch as his eyes roll back while I moan out, "Jasper… mmnnh.. so.. full…Oh god."

"Like that, pretty girl?" He growls. I throw my head back, feeling my long hair brush up against the top of my ass as I arch my back and continue grinding into him.

"So." My nails scrape and scratch at his cold hard skin at his shoulders as I grip tightly to keep the incredible angle I'm at.

"Fucking." My thighs are trembling and shaking as I grind against him.

"Good." I purr and I feel myself get even wetter than before.

Just when I thought it couldn't feel any better, it does. Oh god it does. It's like he's reading my body. Its movements.. matching the rhythm of my grinding with each hard, primal thrust of his hips. I feel my most sensitive buttons being ravaged mercilessly, but at a pace I'm in control of. …or at least I think I'm in control of.

Jasper, ever the gentleman, encourages me,"Cmon, darlin', let me watch you cum. I want to hear you scream my name."

I roll my head forward and my hair cloaks our faces as I place my forehead close to his. I'm breathing so hard. My heart is racing. My hips have a mind of their own as I chase my own pleasure. I can feel tension and anticipation tightening every single muscle in my body except for my mouth. That's hanging wide open as I'm now literally drooling all over him. I'm not even embarrassed or ashamed or fucking shy about any of it. This feels so utterly amazing. I can't even form a full thought as I mewl, "Jasper… oh fuck… Jas.. hnnng.. per.. FUCK!"

A quiver builds within me, stemming from my core and his hold on me is the only thing keeping me steadily approaching the finish line. I feel like I'm about to fucking shatter as my insides start fluttering and clenching and snapping… Oh.. God! I feel my muscles all tighten up simultaneously, and then fear for a moment before suddenly… I disappear. My eyes are open but I can't see anything. This feeling takes over me. It's intense, and full, and shaky, but calm and-… blissful. Mindlessly, my body tenaciously continues. I need him. I need his cum inside me. I want him to feel what I just felt. It's not over. I want him to cum.

He's still pumping inside me as my spent body melts over his, tiredly but unwaveringly keeping his pace, rocking my hips with what's left of my energy. My sensitive insides are spasming around him. I can feel something building inside him. His pace grows wilder and wilder. One of my legs is involuntarily shaking as he scrubs out my orgasm into an unexpected second one. I feel the thickest part of him grow even thicker as his tip desperately tries to find the absolute deepest part of me. He has to be close. Relentlessly, he carves into me and I lose track of his pace as my insides conform to his shape.

Do what you want to me, Jasper. I'm yours. I feel the tip of his beautiful cock grow inside me, pulsing hard as jets of his thick cum shoot out inside has he bucks and grinds his hips into mine.

We stay locked in this position for a while. I'm desperately trying to catch my breath. Like, fuck. That was a lot. But definitely worth it. It's nice here. On top of him. His scarred chest is so comforting. I feel so… good. So safe. Warm. -figuratively, I mean. Whatever.

His hand finds its way up to the back of my head as he kisses me thoroughly, "You're so fucking perfect, Bella."

I can't fucking speak I feel so good. So relaxed. So high. Where am I? He carefully slips out of me and my hips give out one last involuntary twitch that I hope he didn't notice before he stands up and corrects our clothing.

He's on his feet, pulling me into his arms, holding me close. He asks, "How are you, darlin'?"

"Jasper… I-.." I don't know what to say. Thank you? I might be falling for you? Your cock did unspeakably delicious things to me and I want to have you as my sex slave? None of that feels right so I just shut the fuck up and wait for him to speak. Yeah. Good thinking, Bella.

"I wasn't too rough with you, was I? It was your first time and I know I'm a little large so…" Oh my god, did he really just fucking say that?

I can't help but laugh, "Way to check on me and toot your own horn, cowboy. Really, it was perfect. Thank you for not trying to make a big deal out of it. I just wanted to flow with the moment and ride the wave of desire. I wasn't looking for a mattress with rose petals and one billion candles."

He chuckles and runs his fingers through my hair, which feels unexplainably better after I just came so fucking hard, and smiles at me.

"Bella, thank you so much for the privilege to be your first. It means so much to me that you trust me in that way. I… I love you."

He said it first! Fuck yes! Whew, okay you got this. Play it cool. I feel a big dumb grin spread across my face as I too eagerly say, "I love you too."

Way to be cool, Bella. Just fucking announce what a dork you are to the whole world, why don't you?

His eyes very briefly wander into the distance, as if he's sensing something.. I look that way, also- not like I'm actually going to be able to see what he sees… What were we doing out here, again?

Jasper whispers into my ear, "They're on their way back."

Oh fuck! Forgot about them. Edward's gonna freak out if he hasn't already, "Is he gonna…"

Jasper, sensing my obvious terror, continues to coo, "Don't worry, precious girl, I got you. If he finds out, he finds out."

"You won't all leave me again?" I whimper. I can't help it. I feel so weak. So needy.

"I will never leave you. You and me are forever, darlin'."

"And Alice?" I just need to be sure.

"I'll talk to her today." He mutters into my hair as I see the boys clear the tree line and enter the open field. Edward's face has a pained determination painted all over it. He knows! Oh god, he knows. He can probably smell me. Fuck. He must have caught on to our conversation. He's gonna leave again. He'll take everyone with him. I'll be alone… AGAIN! …Wait. His shirt is destroyed. Did he fight with Peter?

"Edward!" I gasp, I check for any signs of what's about to happen. Between him and Peter, I have no clue what's coming next. "Where did you go? Are you ok?"

Edward casts an annoyed look at Peter but when his eyes meet mine his features soften slightly.

"I'm fine, lov- …Bella. I want to talk to you about a few things.. Mind if we head to your place a little early?"

Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! I feel all the blood drain from my face. He wants to get me alone. It's happening again. His eyes drift behind me and widen slightly before he continues, "No one's going anywhere, Bella. I just wanted to talk to you without a whole house of vampires listening in."

He smiles at me, though it looks more like an uncomfortable grimace, as he offers me his arm to hold on to. I calm myself down enough to latch onto him and offer up a smile of my own, "Sure, Edward."

Edward guides me to the edge of the clearing before pulling me onto his back and setting forth into a run. He's going slower than usual. It's way more pleasant for my eyes to keep up with. I can actually see some of the stuff we're passing.

Before I know it we're at my car, parked in the Cullen driveway. As he slips me from his back he pulls me against his chest. He can't be that upset if he's still this touchy feely with me.

"Here, let me drive you home." He offers, grabbing my keys. He seems oddly relaxed right now, as if a weight on his shoulders has lifted. His demeanor has shifted and there's a lightness to his eyes that I don't usually get to see. I've missed this Edward. The Edward I had before James. The Edward I had in that perfect day in the meadow. Something has changed. That something is making me really fucking nervous suddenly.

"My dad's not home today so, do you want to come in through the front door like you're not a juvenile delinquent?" I try to joke with a forced chuckle.

Edward smirks and gives me a pointed look, "Let's not pretend you're the only girl who isn't into bad boys. I'm a vampire, Bella. You like them as bad as they get."

I roll my eyes. Sure, but your animal-eating self-loathing ass isn't 'as bad as they get'. I can feel a smile tug at my lips as I acquiesce, "I suppose you're right."

I lead Edward into my house and settle myself into the kitchen, heating up some leftover pasta that I had cooked two nights prior. I'm fucking ravenous. As I'm waiting, I can't stop myself from haphazardly swallowing down two whole glasses of water. Sex really takes it outta you. I know we have to talk, but… this waiting is driving me mad. Why won't he just start it? Why does he need me to prompt him to speak? Fuck it, guess I'll start.

I sigh, "What's up, Edward? What did you want to talk to me about?"

"I think you're right." Edward is stalling.

I smirk and cross my arms, "…and what is it I'm right about this time?"

"I love you. You're my favorite person in the whole world. None of what I'm about to say will change that." What the hell, Edward?! Are you kidding me right now? Are you really gonna bail on me again?

"Bella, I had sex with Peter. Well, more like allowed him to do something sexual to me. I cheated on you. What I'm trying to say is-…"

…What? Awh fuck!

"I don't know if I'm gay or whatever other terms people are using these days, but I know the the way I've been dealing with your attempts at a sexual relationship are counterproductive. I love you, but I don't think it's that way. God, Bella I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how you feel right now, and I promise I'll do anything to make this up to you. Just because I'm not sure about myself doesn't mean I'm not sure about you. Please forgive me."

My face twists into a grimace as I feel like the shittiest person in the whole world. He had one, ONE, experience and he confessed immediately. I need to come clean. My body slides onto the floor and I tuck my knees under my chin, "I kinda knew this was coming. I mean, Peter is hot as hell. I'm not mad at you at all. You have nothing to be sorry for… I should be sorry."

"You?" His face is puzzled, but it won't be for long.

"Yeah, you see, uh… I've-.." just fucking say it, Bella… "I've been fooling around with Jasper for weeks."

Time stops and I see his face twitch as his brain catches up with the new information I just dumped on it, "When did it start?"

"The day at the lake, when I was mad at you. You were being so controlling and you were hovering and monitoring my meals… I just was so mad. Especially considering I was coming off of months of rejection from you. Jasper had said something to me the last time I tried with you, and you fled. I don't know… he just.. didn't hesitate. He touched me, and it felt good, and I just wanted.. more."

I started to brace myself, trying to make myself ready for any kind of reaction: hurt, angry, sad, despondent. You know, any normal reaction.

But no. Instead he looks sort of peaceful. Resigned. He offers me a small smile.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry you felt that way.. enough to…"

His voice takes on a curious tone of disbelief as he asks:

"But-…Jasper?"

"…What?!" I defend.

"…Really? Jasper?" Are you really fucking judging me right now?

"What? He's hot!" He fucking is. I've seen you check him out, dude. You better not be about to try and dispute the facts. As he spots the look on my face, a chuckle builds in him bursting forth in an all out laugh.

I know he needs more detail, "It started off with him just helping me find release, but I think it's more now. I… I know it's more now."

He nods, "So, is this it?"

"If Alice doesn't murder me, I'd like to think we could still be friends. You're kinda my favorite person too. When we're not trying to force romance." I'm fairly certain Jasper will be ending it today, so I hope I'm still alive tomorrow.

"Alice and Jasper have been deteriorating for some time now. I don't think you have to worry about her attacking you. She'll be upset, but I know she just wants everyone to be happy. She loves you. She'll get over it." He doesn't look like he's all that sure after finishing his sentence.

"Do you wanna go tell the family together?" I sigh my eyes falling to the floor. I miss him already. I don't want to say goodbye, but at least he's not angry.

Edward lifts me on to my feet and kisses my temple, holding me close to him. He murmurs into my hair, "You have no idea how badly I wanted it to be you. You're stunning and smart and kind and amazing. I'm so sorry I couldn't give you everything you deserve."

I pull Edward harder against me as my stupid emotions betray me and slip out of my eyes, "I love you, Edward. I'm so sorry I didn't do any of this right. I'm still a kid in a lot of ways. I'm still learning."

He brushes my hair with his fingertips and lifts my chin to face him, "You don't have to worry about any of that. We both made a lot of mistakes. I just don't want to lose you entirely."

He's my best friend.

The whole family is waiting on us when we get there. The chairs are packed at the dining table. Alice is in Jasper's lap. He must not have talked to her yet.

Carlisle starts, "You said you had an announcement to make, Edward…" his gaze shifts over to me, "Bella."

Edward nods and announces, "We had a talk about our relationship and…"

Alice bounces off of Jasper's lap and interrupts, "Jasper and I are gonna get married again. Renewing our vows and throwing a fantastic party!"

…fucking WHAT?!! How could he?! After everything we just did. After everything he JUST. SAID. I can't fucking believe this. I fucking hate vampires. They dangle their love in front of you only to rip it away and I just want to curl up and die now because I knew it was too good to be true. I fucking KNEW!

"Alice!" Esme hissed, "You interrupted Edward. He called the meeting. Please wait for Edward to be finished before making announcements. That was incredibly rude."

"Sorry." She says. I'm fucking stunned.

Carlisle shifts his eyes back to Edward, "You were saying…"

All eyes are on us and now I'm not so sure I can take the scrutiny. I don't want to be left behind again. I'm not with Edward, I'm not with Jasper… I'm nobody to them.

Edward grips my hand and speaks, "What we were going to inform everyone was: we decided to wait to have the wedding until after Bella's change. She's been struggling with anxiety about the Volturri checking up so we decided to wait to celebrate once everything is settled."

I can't do anything but nod. Im so grateful that he's got my back like this. It was almost like for a second he could actually read my mind. He knew I needed him. I squeeze his hand to silently thank him.

Im not sure what happened after, but my head couldn't stop swimming with this feeling, this realization of my worthlessness. He just fucking sat there. He didn't correct her. It's over. It isn't until I get home that I realize I even left.

"I can't stay here, Edward. After he said.. and then he just goes and does that?!" I can't stop fucking pacing. I need to leave! I can't be in this stupid vampire town anymore.

"I'll take you wherever you want to go, Bella. Anywhere." He's grinning at me like I didn't just get my heart shredded in front of him earlier. "Wanna go out to a bar? I heard you have a bucket list you're trying to check things off of."

Tap. Tap.

What the fuck? …Peter.

I cross the room to open the window for yet another hot ass vampire that likes to flirt, still mad about that happening to me twice, by the way. Peter probably wants a taste of this, too! SURE. Why the fuck not? It's not like I have anything else to lose. I drop my attitude and replace it with sarcasm as I wave my hand to casually welcome another one of these fuckers into my room and ask, "What's up, Peter?"

"Not much, cookie… just checking in on the sexiest couple in town." He's smirking and Edward is rolling his eyes. Humph. Looks like Peter got under his skin a little.

"What are you doing here?" Edward asks curtly.

"I got a feeling you guys might want to go somewhere… anywhere other than here."

"You got a feeling?" Suspicion laces Edward's tone.

"I overheard you…" he shrugged, "Same difference."

I smile at the way they're interacting. Edward is obviously still checking him out. Mom was right about him. I ask, "Where are you gonna take us Peter?"

"I got a few spots we can go… You're gonna love it, cookie."

In an odd twist, Edward shrugs and says, "I'm in. What do you say, Bella?"

"Fuck it." I huff, pulling my duffel bag from the closet.

"Hell yes!" Peter loudly cheers. He probably didn't expect this to be this easy. Whatever. Edward's call. He seems to be able to make better decisions than I can. Plus, he's my best friend. I trust him.

Peter's voice gets husky as he continues, "…and listen cookie, if you need a helping hand with your own… release… pretty boy here can vouch for my ability to lend a helping hand." He winks over at Edward and I bust up. So that's what happened. He got a handy… good for him. Bout time. Wait. And he felt so guilty about just a handjob that he immediately confessed what happened right after? Great. I really am the worst. Still, though. I'm happy for him.

He sighs and shakes his head as we walk out together. I leave a note in the kitchen for Charlie. No need to worry him. Just going on a road trip.

"Okay I have a few things left."

"Let me see the list, Bella." Edward is tapping against the steering wheel at the red light.

"No! It's my list."

"Okay what are we doing next?" He sighs exasperatedly.

"I need my lesbian college experience… or I need to ride a mechanical bull."

Peter grins from ear to ear as Edward groans from the driver seat. His mischievous voice has a slight chuckle to is as he says, "I know just where to take you. Two birds one stone and all."

"Where?"

"To meet my wife."

"Peter.." Edward warns.

"Is she hot?" I ask but I already know. She's a vampire so yes, she's hot.

Peter mimes gigantic boobs and luscious curves as he gives me the rundown on his bombshell blonde wife, topping it all off with a dorky wink and a thumbs-up. I laugh, because of the delivery.

…Still, though… Not gonna lie, sounds like fun.

Edward pulls into a country/western theme bar somewhere on the outskirts of Portland. It's just around nine o'clock when we arrive. I see a voluptuous blonde standing outside with shades on at night. Damn! She is HOT!

I check my hair in the mirror and make sure there's nothing in my teeth. Edward whispers, "Bella, you don't have to do this. I know Peter seems like fun, but they are still vampires."

"Edward, you're a vampire. Act like one. What happened to calm and fun Edward? I miss him."

Edward flashes me an annoyed look, "My orgasm wore off."

"Did you need another? I think I have 'fuck a gay guy' on my list. If not, I can add it." I waggle my eyebrows at him.

"Ha ha, you're very funny. One of these days I might be brave enough to take you up on it."

"You really that scared of what's between my legs?" I tease.

"No, I'm scared I'll bite you when I cum." He states flatly.

"Oooh… I hope you do." I wink at his stunned face. I can hear him muttering about a death wish but I don't say anything about it and just exit the car to meet up with the rest of our party.