Hello, its been two years since I updated this story. I hope everyone stayed safe during the pandemic. I recently started chemotherapy treatment for stage 2 breast cancer stage. Alex battle will reflect some of the issues I went through with the process. Though its not a brain tumor like Alex. I was told that I was too young to have breast cancer so please be your own health advocate. Do daily self-breast exams and if you feel something that does not feel right such as a lump, please tell your doctor. And if your doctor blows you off, go see a different doctor. Cancer does not care what age you are. On with the show. Sorry its short.
Its been two days since Alex was rushed into the emergency room. Linda did not feel comfortable with releasing Alex due to the increased risk of another black out as the tumor was growing. Every day, Linda would have her daily talks with Alex to try and convince her to remove the tumor to safe her life. She had even suggested radiation therapy to attempt to shrink the tumor if Alex still opposed the surgery. That suggestion went to deaf ears. Olivia and Casey didn't make any progress with Alex as well. It was time to bring in the big guns.
A knock on Alex's hospital room door caused her to break from her stoic state. Her eyes shifted to the entrance waiting to see who her visitor was today. The door opened to reveal SVU's favorite psychiatrist, Dr. George Huang. He and Alex made eyes contact as he entered the room and slowly approached the chair next to her bed. "Hi Alex" Huang spoke first to break the silence in the room as he sat down.
"Huang" Alex said as she shifted in her bed. She reached up and brushed her hair back as she slowly sat up a little higher in her bed. "Casey and Olivia send you?"
"Do you really expect them not to fight to save your life?" Huang asked softly.
Alex sighed, she didn't want to deal with this. She could see her heart rate on the monitor increase as she started to become angry and she could no longer hold back. "Tell me something Wong, why does everyone's feeling about my situation override mine? This is my life, not theirs. I made my decision to live with this tumor, not seek treatments and enjoy whatever time I have left on this god forsaken earth. Everyone is telling me what I should do then they go back home to their perfect lives with their husbands and children while I go home alone to an empty house. And do not talk to me about prayers. Why should I pray to the man that took my husband away from me then gave me this tumor? God has a plan for everyone right?" Alex was so angry that she did not realize tears were streaming down her face as she expressed finally expressed her feelings. She looked up at the ceiling and wiped away her tears. "Maybe this is his way of letting me be with Max soon."
Alex took a deep breath and placed her hand on her head. She could feel her heart rate increasing and it pumped faster in her chest. The door to her room opened and her nurse stepped in. The nurse looked at Huang who was standing next to Alex heart rate monitor. "Alex, I need you to calm down." The nurse looked at Huang and he nodded knowing it would be best if he left. The nurse turned her attention back to Alex. "Does your head hurt?
"No, I just got too angry." Alex said as she made eye contact with her nurse. She knew she needed to calm down but how could she? She was so angry with how her life had turned out. First losing her husband the finding out she had a brain tumor. God either hated her or was punishing her for something she had done. "I'll be fine." The nurse finish taking her blood pressure which was high due to the stress she just endured. She didn't have to be told twice that she needed to calm down.
"I'll be back in 20 minutes to recheck your blood pressure." Alex nodded and watched the nurse leave. She felt herself on the verge of tears again when she smelled it, gardenias. Alex looked around the room and saw no one but the smell still lingered. She felt herself feel at ease and safe. She closed her eyes and drifted off into slumber land.