"How long have we been down here?" Naruto placed another battery into his flashlight, whistling. "No idea!" "Er…" With a sheepish expression, Hashirama glanced around at the tunnel they were in. It was built like the hall of a building, with stone flooring and ceilings and wooden panels on the walls. "Shouldn't we just find a way out by going through the walls?" "No way, oji-chan! That's not fun. We have to do it the oldfashioned way." From the rear, Madara snorted. "I'm fairly sure the sun's gone down by now," Tobirama said skeptically. "Well," Naruto admitted with a grin, "even if I did want to leave I kind of…forgot where the door is…eheheh…" "What?! Oh…" Hashirama turned to sulk, depression cloud returning full force. "Moron," Madara muttered. "Oh hey! Never seen that before!" Naruto skipped ahead to a door set in the wall, trying the door handle. It stayed stubbornly shut, even though he could see no locking mechanism. Raising his knuckles to the wood, he knocked three times. A moment of silence passed. Thud. Thud. Thud. "…is there anyone else down here?" Tobirama asked, hedging closer as he felt his hackles raise. "Shouldn't be," Naruto said, sounding perplexed. "I don't sense anyone." The door handle turned. Naruto stepped back, startled, as it swayed open a few inches, coming to a stop so a sliver of darkness was visible from within. "…I don't think you should go in there, Naruto-kun," Hashirama said, the hand he placed on Naruto's shoulder making him shiver. Naruto eyed the door. "If there's a ghost stuck down here, I ought to get them out," he said with a frown, grabbing the door before he could convince himself to leave. He threw it open and shined his flashlight inside. The only thing that greeted him was an empty room. "…huh." He examined each of the corners, one eyebrow rising. "That's just anticlimactic." The door slammed shut with enough force to snap his flashlight in half, leaving a broken stub in his grasp as a hand yanked him back a few inches. Hashirama let out a startled noise, but he hadn't touched him; Madara was the only one who had succeeded in actually making tangible contact with him so far, having appeared from his place down the hall. Hashirama gave him a surprised look, but the Uchiha resolutely ignored him. "That is just rude!" Naruto yelled, shaking his fist at the door. "Bakayaro, konoyaro, dattebayo!" The three sweatdropped at him. "Naruto-kun, I think you should really leave now," Hashirama said with a twitchy smile. "No way! I'm not leaving after that. I can see you!" Naruto hollered down the hallway, startling them. They wheeled around to follow his gaze, an eerie sense falling upon them when they found nothing there. "See who?" Tobirama asked, tone dripping with suspicion. Naruto squinted into the darkness. He couldn't see a full person, like he could the two Hokage or Madara- but he could see something in the distance, a shape peering around the corner at him, even if it was making itself seem invisible to the eye. There was a tense feeling in his gut, but he was never one to back down from a challenge. Slowly, he knelt down, falling into a runner's crouch. All at once, he took off, ripping up chunks of the floor and ignoring the Senju's protests. The walls raced by him as he shot down them like a bullet through the barrel of a gun, narrowly avoiding corners as he took them. Around and around the maze he went, chasing after a vague shape that was a mere dot on the horizon of his vision; he seemed to be caught in a mere moment, time having paused for him. His eyes had adjusted to the dark, red bleeding into his iris to help him see. After what seemed like an eternity, he slowed himself and skidded, panting lightly. The shape was still staring, peeking around a corner at him, from a closer point this time; it was almost as if he couldn't focus his eyes on it directly, and instead saw the space around it. "Naruto-kun, don't take off like that!" Hashirama stumbled to a stop beside him, a bit disoriented from having run through numerous walls. "Something isn't right here." "Whatever you're chasing, it obviously does not want to be found," Tobirama added. Madara, however, was distracted, having thought to activate his Sharingan. The first thing he saw was Hashirama's form, a strange grey outline next to Naruto's white chakra network humming with blue chakra. He couldn't see a chakra network in Hashirama- just a solid, transparent grey mass with a spot of a bright white in the chest, where the heart would lay if he were alive. Tobirama's was the same- but when he looked closer at Naruto, he could see the same white spot in his body; it was like a beacon in the dark. Narrowing his eyes, he shifted his gaze to the hall. The darkness surrounding them made it easy to spot the shape ahead. It was difficult to look at, and he couldn't quite make out the limbs like he could with the group; but the grey form he assumed all spirits took held true. Instead of the bright white light his companions had, however, it only held a tiny wisp of white surrounded in varying shades of black and dark grey. The black spread out to the rest of its body like the veins in a human body. "Boy." "Hmm? Wait, can you see it like Izu does?" Naruto whirled around and bounced on the balls of his feet, excited. "Whatever it is, it's not one of us." Naruto paused. Slowly, he turned back around, gazing at the shape with slightly wider eyes. He had assumed it was a ghost who was scared of the outside world- he'd come upon many of them, even some who had initially fled from him like it had. He had sensed no ill intent like he always did with a poltergeist- he would have felt the negative emotion. "…oh." "Naruto? What's wrong?" "It's a-" Naruto's mouth went dry when the shape moved a hair's breadth out from behind its corner. It was the first move it had made that wasn't away from him. A pounding feeling awakened in the back of his head, almost like a headache- but it was his senses pulsing, warning him. Now he could feel it, almost so obvious that he wondered how he hadn't before. It felt familiar. He hadn't known it could hide its presence. And evidently, it had been trying to keep away so he wouldn't feel it. He knew this one. Memories trickled back into his head- slow at first, picking up the more he thought about, making him go pale. This time, Izuna wasn't with him. It seemed the spirit had noticed, as well. It moved towards him again. "Halt," Tobirama called out as all three of them went on guard. Madara's eyes had narrowed to slits, three tomoe whirling around wildly in each eye. "Identify yourself." "Do you think it knows how to speak?" Hashirama asked. "Don't look at it," Naruto hissed suddenly, making Hashirama jump. "Don't think about it! We have to get out of here." The spirit was walking towards them at a steady pace now, making Naruto begin backing up. Kurama, crap, wake up. What? the fox groaned, nose buried under his paws. That poltergeist from the farmhouse is walking towards me right now, baka. Kurama bolted up, eyes snapping open. What the hell? You removed your memories of it! What made you remember? Would you believe me if I said I randomly happened upon it in the basement? …you have the crappiest luck of any person I've ever met. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!" A clone with red eyes popped into the hall in front of him, a scowl planted on its face. "Oi," it rumbled out in a harsh tone Naruto probably couldn't make for about another twelve years, "Leave my host the hell alone, freak of nature." "Kyuubi?" Tobirama uttered in surprise. Red chakra leaked into the airspace around Kurama, forming a wall in front of them. Naruto winced at the malicious intent he'd filled it with, watching the poltergeist come closer and closer until it had stopped in front of the wall. "Where is it?" Kurama whispered. "Right in front of your chakra." "What is it doing?" Tobirama asked in a low tone. In the dim light, and through Kurama's thick energy, they could vaguely make out its form as it seemed to step forward. A limb slipped through the chakra, touching the floor in front of them. It was long and spindly, like someone had stretched a few inches of skin tight over a skeleton's arm, and charred it until it was a murky grey color. The thing walked hunched over so its unnaturally long limbs brushed the floor, a mop of dull blond hair hanging over its face; it was just as long and thin as the rest of its body. "What is that?" Hashirama asked, horrified on Naruto's behalf. "It-" Naruto stared as the thing slithered through Kurama's chakra. Normally, a poltergeist's energy wasn't dark enough to fight the malicious intent Kurama could fill his with; but apparently, this one was so full of hatred it wasn't even bothered by a Bijuu's. "It's a poltergeist." It was dark out when Sakura's shift ended. There was a bounce in her step as she exited the hospital, practically vibrating with excitement despite her attempts to contain herself. There was no guarantee she would be moved up in rank, but to even get the chance to be evaluated made it hard to settle down. She'd thought it would be at least another year before her shishou even thought about making her a full medic. Her whole academic life she'd gone unacknowledged; sure, the Academy teachers had praised her for being competent at the three basic ninjutsu, shuriken accuracy and test scores, but they were the bare basics of her skills- no, even less than the bare basics. They were such small parts of Sakura's overall skill as a kunoichi that it felt hollow being praised on something she'd mastered so long ago. She'd played the role of an airheaded fangirl well. The members of Squad Seven, despite Naruto's laziness, had worked their fingers to the bone and then some for years. Outside Naruto's napping, there hadn't been a moment where they'd sat by and done nothing. Always working, always training, always moving. Sakura had worked to overcome even her own body; she hadn't been built for taijutsu when she'd started, but being on the level of someone like Tsunade had been her dream. Now her muscles were toned and developed; TenTen had once told her that her six-pack or biceps could cripple an Academy shinobi's fragile male pride easier than it was to punch through a wall. TenTen was a pillar Sakura was loathe to go a long time without spending time with. Ino had been her first friend, but TenTen she could connect to on another level; the other kunoichi was as training-happy as she was (although not as obsessive as Sakura about continuing after she was tired out) and just as eager to spar until they were sweating rivers. She was the only real female friend Sakura had; whenever she learned a new technique or found a new weapon to use, her first inclination was to show TenTen. The two spent every free Saturday at a bakery in town chatting about their respective teammates and snickering over whatever topic of discussion had arisen. It was also completely impossible for a boy to ever come between them; Sakura was attached at the hip to Lee. Her watch read 12:32. She'd shrugged off her coat before leaving, leaving her in only her chuunin vest and the sleeveless shirt TenTen had given her. She came in late often, sometimes not even seeing her parents in the course of a day due to early hospital shifts and late night shifts. When she was younger she'd done basic exercises and chakra control training in her room, using going to the park as a cover-up for training with Naruto and Sasuke. As she got older it became easier; she was able to use staying late at the Academy for training as an excuse. Now, however, she was much more independenta chuunin and probable medic in her own right- and often felt frustrated at being treated like a child still in her own home. She wasn't a civilian, and her parents needed to understand that. However, she would never let it come to the point that they fought and avoided each other intentionally. She was too grateful to have parents at all to let that happen. Instead, she was considering simply moving out, having been compiling a list of reasons for weeks that would make it seem as if she were trying to do them a favor rather than scorning their concern. Her eyes alighted on a shock of blonde hair. The thoroughfare was mostly quieted down, only a few vendors still lit up; it was odd to see any shinobi not returning from a mission out and about. "Hey, Ino," she called, making the ponytail whip around. Team Asuma had been walking down the street ahead of her, with a few scruffs and patches of dust adorning their clothing. "Oh, hey, Sakur- uhhhh," Ino trailed off, eyes going comically wide and pupil-less when she spotted Sakura's arms. She hadn't seen her without a jacket before, and Sakura had kept up a constant henge to make her appear weaker and practice her chakra control during their Academy days. "Wow, you're ripped," Choji said, stuffing a handful of chips into his mouth. Sakura snickered and ignored Shikamaru's usual muttering of troublesome. "What're you guys doing here?" she asked, hands on her hips. Ino shook herself. "Oh, uh. We just got back from a mission." Face turning sour, she turned and glared at Choji. "Choji here messed something up and it took three hours longer than it should have." "Hey! Not my fault that guy called me fat!" "It was both of your fault," Shikamaru said with an annoyed glare. "Whatever. What are you doing out so late? You don't look like you were on a mission," Ino said, squinting at her unruffled appearance. "I had a late shift at the hospital." Sakura's eyes lit up. "I'm being evaluated tomorrow!" "Evaluated?" "If shishou deems me worthy, I'll be a full-fledged medic," Sakura beamed. "I can go on missions as one and even have students in the program." "Oh…w-wow," Ino stammered. "Plus I'll start learning how to perform surgery," Sakura went on, making a metaphorical boulder slam down on Ino's shoulders that went unnoticed to the chuunin. "I hope I can move up. It will be nice what with Naruto moving up in rank." "E-eh? Naruto's moving up in rank too?" "Well, I'm not completely sure, but Kakashi-sensei told us shishou was considering one of us for tokubetsu jounin," Sakura explained, making the boulder heavier. "Oh, yeah." Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "Heard that from Asuma. So the bomb thing's that advanced, huh?" "You did?" Sakura sweatdropped. I've got to get in on that gossip ring. Or do it vicariously through Naruto. "But yeah. I'm pretty sure it's going to be him." "You…you guys sure do move fast," Ino laughed. "It wasn't too long ago you just made chuunin!" "It has only been a few months," Sakura agreed. "But he deserves it." "Psh. You guys are non-stop. Making the rest of us look bad," Shikamaru said with a teasing smirk, stretching his arms over his head as he yawned. "I'll let you guys get to bed," Sakura said with an eye-roll. She turned and leapt onto a small shop, pausing to yell over her shoulder. "And don't forget, Naruto's birthday is coming up! He'll never say anything but if you could send a card or something I'm sure he'd like it." Maybe. "Naruto's birthday…?" Ino blinked up at her. "October tenth. Don't miss it." Sakura shot them a wink before leaping away over the rooftops, leaving Ino to stare at the red Uzumaki spiral on her back that adorned all Konoha flak jackets, wondering when Sakura had left her so far behind. "You almost hit me, 'tebayo!" "Don't stand in the way!" "Just dispel already! You can't even hit it!" "Because you're doing such a great job!" Naruto and Kurama's bickering was interrupted by the poltergeist lunging at Naruto with a shriek, interrupted when the Senju came at it with two hard kicks from opposite directions. It had thrown Madara into a wall as Naruto yelled at them to not let it hit them, insisting they escape through the walls, but they were all quite stubborn- one trait they shared, at the very least. Unfortunately for them, they weren't nearly as practiced in using their dead forms to fight something on the spiritual plane as Izuna was. He'd been around for decades longer than any of them. Naruto ducked as the poltergeist went sailing over his head. With a puff of smoke, Kurama changed into his fox form, leaping onto the boy's shoulders and hunkering down. "Do you have anything for an exorcism on you?" he yelled into Naruto's ear. "Only one that will get it out of the area, not banish it from this plane of existence, but for that I need it to be weakened," Naruto said, sweat sliding down his face as he shoved the spirit into a wall with an unseen force. Ghosts were easy to get to leave him alone; he could do little more than push the poltergeist away from him. The thing climbed up onto the ceiling in a way that reminded Naruto of a spider. Before it could lunge again, grey flames burst into existence on its back, eliciting a sharp scream that made Naruto's ears ring. It tumbled onto the floor and writhed, clawing at its back as the flames made its pseudo-flesh sizzle. Gaping, Naruto turned to Madara. His hands were pressed together in the rat seal, and even he seemed surprised that he'd succeeded, his Mangekyo whirling around in his transparent eyes. Naruto knew some Uchiha could wield their spiritual energy and activate their Sharingan, since it was a feature of their body, even use it on other spirits- but none of them but Izuna had ever managed to summon a spiritual form of the Amaterasu. Even then it was only after years that Izuna was able to do it. Madara stumbled, form phasing in and out. Naruto wheeled back around and clapped his hands together, summoning a pentagram on the floor beneath the poltergeist as it shrieked. The lines glowed before the innermost ones shifted and changed, forming a spiral in the center beneath the poltergeist's feet. Biting his thumb, Naruto summoned a small scroll from one of his storage seals. He released a set of bowls and several pouches of herbs, darting into the circle to set them down and empty the proper amounts into them while trying to dodge the thing's flailing limbs. "Madara, are you all right?" Hashirama, unable to contain his worrying medic tendencies, knelt at his friend's (former friend? Enemy? Psuedo-friend? Who knew) side, looking as if he wanted to touch him but refraining from doing so as his form seemed to blink in and out. "Worry about the beast, Senju," Madara said through gritted teeth, twitching as he struggled to get to his feet. He felt exhausted- he hadn't even known it was possible to feel exhausted. Tobirama facepalmed and turned back to the poltergeist, circling back to Naruto's side as he leaped a few paces away and began making hand seals. "Ninja Art: Spirit Expulsion! Dertah fo erutaerc, dellepxe eb dna won og. Ecalp siht morf dehsinab era uoy-" The flames abruptly died out. With a scream, the poltergeist wrenched itself up from the floor, making the circle glow brightly as it tried to contain it. The noise reached a climax so loud Naruto thought it would bring the ceiling down on them, but instead, the spirit broke through his seal and lunged wildly towards him, jaw snapping open and away from its mouth by a foot. Hashirama and Tobirama rushed it in an attempt to keep it from him. Its arms swept out and completely through their forms, slicing them in half. While Naruto gaped, they fell through the ground out of sight, struggling back up with their forms reattached a moment later- but it was too late, as the poltergeist had already reached him. Madara's form swept in front of him. It thrusted its arm like a spear and headed straight for the white light in Madara's chest that represented his soul, ready to pierce through it and slice through Naruto's shoulder. "-Naruto!" "-Madara!" "Get the hell away from them!" The spirit lurched back, an invisible force yanking it through the air and into the wall. It pulled forward and slammed into it again before it shot into the ground, grey flames descending upon it from every direction. They coated its body like it was covered in oil, not leaving a free inch of space unburned. A stray flame landed harmlessly on Naruto's ankle, passing through him and making it look as if his leg was glowing. Izuna passed through the ceiling, Mangekyo spinning rapidly in fury. He landed in front of it as his eyes widened, making the flames grow brighter until the poltergeist's screaming reached an ear-shattering crescendo. Naruto clapped his hands over his ears, wincing. For lack of a better word, the poltergeist exploded, a burst of bright light taking up Naruto's vision until he pressed his eyes shut. The screaming cut off, trickling down into a pitiful whine before it disappeared completely. Hesitantly, Naruto opened his eyes, staring at the remains of the Amaterasu as they died out. With a deep, shuddering breath, Izuna let his Sharingan disappear, sagging to his knees. "Are you all right?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder. Madara did his version of gawking, consisting of widened eyes and a blank expression, while Naruto shot up with a cheer. "Izu-nii!" "Er, thank you…" Hashirama said, still immobile from the shock. "How did you…?" Tobirama uttered. A smirk crawled its way onto Izuna's face. "Like I said," he shrugged. "Been doing this a lot longer than you." The smirk turned into a frown as he turned to Naruto. "The ghosts told me you've been down here for hours." "Oh, yeah, I got lost." Izuna rubbed his forehead. "Don't you have the map with you?" "Map?!" The Senju exclaimed in unison. Dawning spread across Naruto's face. "Oh, yeah!" He pulled a storage scroll out and summoned a folded piece of paper, examining it closely. "I forgot we made one of the tunnels we'd found!" Hashirama faceplanted. "And the next time you go down there, don't go without me! That thing could've killed you. We've talked about this over and over- we can only deal with poltergeists together, otherwise I end up having to recharge for two weeks, like now, and you get stabbed or something. You know they affect you more than humans who can't see them. And-" Naruto sulked while Izuna ranted. They'd returned to the house around midnight and sealed up the basement doors again, and Izuna lectured him the whole way. He'd been sitting in one of the sitting rooms for twenty minutes, feeling like he was suffering through one of Iruka's famed lectures. Madara sat beside him- he'd gotten the brunt of it tooglaring at the floor, while Hashirama and Tobirama stood awkwardly against the wall. "And YOU," Izuna screeched, pointing in his brother's face. Naruto could have sworn he saw a minute cringe. "You are so irresponsible! Sure, let's just hop into the dark hole in the ground without Izuna!" "I-" "NO." Madara and Naruto both shrunk, just slightly, towards the floor. "While it's nice to know you can summon Amaterasu, it takes practice to be able to control it. Ghosts just aren't that powerful, and it's only because we're Uchiha we're even this powerful. Even the Senju over there only survived because they have strong spirits. That thing would have cut through a civilian ghost like cheap paper-" Madara eyed Naruto out of the corner of his eye. "Is he always like this?" he muttered in a low tone, one eye watching Izuna pace back and forth. "Pretty much," Naruto whispered. "I don't know how he was during your day other than 'I hate the Senju', but he's a real mother hen-" "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?" They both jumped when Izuna's foot slammed down on the table in front of them. "Y-yessir!" Naruto stammered. "It won't happen again, I swear!" Izuna narrowed his eyes at him. "Madara?" he asked pointedly, swiveling to address his brother. All too aware of the fact that his rival and said rival's annoying brother were watching him, Madara gritted his teeth before answering, embarrassment creeping up his spine. "It won't happen again." Hashirama and Tobirama watched the conversation with bug-eyed expressions. "Good." "I assume Izuna is chewing you out," Sasuke commented dryly from the doorway. My salvation! "Hey, Sasuke!" Naruto said with a grin. "How was-" "Don't you change the subject," Sasuke said, twitching. "The ghosts left me a message." He held up a scroll and let it fall open. Naruto stared blankly. It must have literally taken hours to drag an empty scroll from the shelf, roll a pen over, and write the paragraph explaining what Naruto had been up to. They'd ratted him out. "Detailing just how much of an IDIOT YOU ARE," Sasuke thundered. He stomped over and shook Naruto by the collar, looking identical to the ghost beside him. "Are you stupid? Are you braindead? Why would you go to such a place without Izuna? You know the compound attracts negative spirits and that place was the only section you didn't have sealed off! You are so irresponsible-" Naruto checked out halfway through, mentally despairing. "Um," Hashirama mumbled eloquently, a nervous chuckle escaping him, "we'll just be leaving since you have your hands full-" "Irresponsible Senju!" Izuna roared, lunging. The great First Hokage ran for his non-existent life at the hand of his rival's enraged younger brother. Naruto resolved to always make sure there was no one around to spill the beans when he did something irresponsible. "Yosh! Teuchi! Get Sakura-chan another bowl, yeah? We're celebrating," Naruto said with a wide grin, clapping his teammate on the shoulder. She smiled shyly into her bowl, and the small red cross pin attached to the collar of her chuunin vest glinted in the afternoon sun. "Oho! What are you celebrating?" Teuchi asked, setting a second bowl in front of her. "Sakura's a full medic now," Naruto replied. "She's a great healer and knows a bunch about different poisons and viruses and stuff. She'll even be able to do surgery." "Oh, congratulations, Sakura-chan!" Ayame squealed, dumping more miso into her bowl. "Thank you, Teuchi-san, Ayame-san. I appreciate it." Sakura adjusted her coat to cover more of her neck. The fall season in Konohagakure was fickle; one day it might be a sweltering ninety degrees, the next it might be in the midforties. The air held a chill to it, making the steaming bowls of ramen in front of them all the more inviting. "You told Lee yet?" "Not yet," Sakura replied, smiling at the thought of her partner. "I haven't seen him. I'll see if I can find him after lunch." "Sasuke'll be proud of you." "Where is he, by the way?" "I think he went over for his genjutsu training session with Kurenai-sensei." "I forgot Kakashi-sensei asked her to help him with that." "Yeah, he's actually really good at it," Naruto said, speaking around a mouthful of noodles. "Kakashi-sensei got him pretty far, and he was the best out of the three of us, but Kurenai-sensei's really been able to help him quite a bit." He grimaced suddenly. "He pulled a genjutsu on me the other day that was nearly S-rank. High A-rank, technically, but I fear for his victims." Sakura snickered. "By the way," she said, nonchalant as she reached for a napkin, "anything you been wanting lately?" With a groan, Naruto pressed one hand over his eyes. "Not this again." "Come on, Naruto! You haven't told me anything!" "That's because I don't want anything," Naruto said grumpily, setting his chopsticks down and crossing his arms. "I don't like celebrating my birthday. You know that." His first birthdays had been lonely affairs spent hiding from the majority of the village. When he'd begun to attend the Academy, he'd spent them alone in his apartment with a free meal at Ichiraku's with Iruka. When Sasuke and Sakura became old enough to try and give him celebrations on their own, he'd already become biased against it. He'd barely managed to dodge a surprise party the year before. "You shouldn't dislike your birthday," Sakura said in a comforting tone. "What would the world be like without you?" she teased. "Well for one thing my parents wouldn't be dead," he mumbled into his collar. Sakura cringed. "Sorry." She averted her eyes, biting her lip. "But I just want you to be happy. You know that." Naruto sighed and stood up, taking out his wallet to pay their bill. "I know. I'm not mad at you. I appreciate it, Sakura, I really do, but believe me: the happiest you could make me on my birthday is to just ignore its existence at all." He said this as he was ducking into the street, pausing when he nearly ran into Lee. "Ah, sorry, Lee." "It's all right, Naruto! But why would you say such a thing?" The genin asked, looking horrified. "Birthdays are joyous celebrations!" Ugh. "It's no big deal." "No big deal? Tell me! Why do you hold such a negative view on such a wonderful occasion as the day you were born into this world?" Lee's eyes shone as he leaned closer, making Naruto swallow and edge back. "Um…" "Is kind of pessimistic," TenTen agreed, one hand on her hip. She stood behind Lee with Neji, making Naruto twitch. He just couldn't let it slip under the radar, could he? "I just don't celebrate. That's all." Sakura appeared at his side with a huff. "He's stubborn," she said. "I'm not stubborn." "Let me throw you a birthday party, dammit." "Sakura-chan!" Lee exclaimed, fire appearing in his eyes. "Is that a medic cross I see on your jacket?" Her smile glinted in the sun. "It is. I was evaluated today." Tears leaked out of his eyes. "I would say I can't believe it, but I can! You're a most skilled kunoichi, Sakura-chan! I'm so proud!" "Oh, Lee!" "Sakura-chan!" "Lee!" "Sakura-chan!" Naruto cringed and stepped away as the spring field genjutsu appeared. "What're you three doing here?" he asked. "Came to get lunch," TenTen explained. "Lee thought Sakura might be here, so he insisted." She sighed in a put-upon way. "I said we should get something a little healthier, but no." "Screw healthy. Ramen is the way of life," Naruto said, jutting his thumb at the stand. Neji's eyebrow twinged. "'Screw healthy', hmm? I don't know how you manage to stay in shape with that attitude." "Hey, I could eat just ramen every single day. At least I've got some variation. Sasuke's always trying to get me to eat vegetables..." Naruto made a disgusted face. "I mean, I do eat whatever he makes, but they're gross, 'tebayo." "Vegetables are a required sustenance to maintain optimal health." "Yeah, but they shouldn't be." "-his birthday is October tenth," Sakura said in a smug tone next to him. "Oi! Don't go telling people!" Naruto exclaimed, insulted. "I already told Asuma's team." "Ugh, you told Ino? She'll probably want to have a party…" "That would just be the end of the world, wouldn't it?" "What exactly is your issue?" Neji interrupted after TenTen gave him a pointed look. "What?" Thrown off guard, Naruto's brain stalled. "Um…" "Sasuke's doing really well with genjutsu," TenTen said at random, smirking inwardly when he turned to address her. "Sparred the other day with him." "Uh, yeah he's-" "Ignoring it won't make your squad mates let it go," Neji advised. His face was completely blank. "Look, I just-" "Oh, hey! We should bring a dish to the dinner tonight. Shouldn't make Sasuke bring everything," TenTen said, amused. "That would be polite," Neji agreed. "Technically he cooks everything himself-" "But why do you hate birthdays?" Neji pressed with the air of an irritating but stoic attorney. "It's just mine, okay? I just have bad memories," Naruto barked out. They frowned in sync at him, and a glare settled on his face. "No more questions! Neh!" He held up a finger when TenTen opened her mouth. "I have groceries to get. You all have fun." "Stubborn baka," Sakura yelled at him as he leapt away. He stuck his tongue out at her. "Naruto, get out of the kitchen." "Don't you want me to he-" "Get out of my kitchen." Naruto gave the pot boiling over on the stove a helpless look and held up his hands in surrender, retreating to the breakfast area. Sakura shoved a stack of placemats and plates topped with silverware and bowls into his hands as he passed, jutting her head towards the door to the dining hall. "Set those out for me." "Aye-aye, captain," Naruto said, sliding through the door and beginning to distribute them across the table. One, two, three…twelve? That'll be crowded… "Ten minutes, Sasuke," Sakura called out from the other room. Naruto glanced at the clock on the wall. It was nearing six, meaning their guests were probably heading towards the open front gates. As soon as he set the last plate down, someone knocked on the door. "Get that, Naruto!" Sasuke yelled. Rolling his eyes, Naruto crossed to the door, adjusting the casual kimono he wore before opening it. His was a bright orange, despite Sakura's protests of it being an eyesore, while Sasuke wore a blue one and their female teammate a pink one. "Good evening," he said as he opened the door, more because of the manners Sakura and Sasuke had drilled into him than his own volition. "Good evening Naruto-sama," Karin said cheerfully in reply. Her own purple attire had the same Uzumaki spiral on the back that Naruto's did, as well as the same magatama pattern on the collar and the spiral pattern on the sash. "Yo. Hungry?" An embarrassed smile appeared on her lips as she pushed her glasses up her nose. "I actually forgot to eat lunch, so yes." "Well, come on in. You can sit down." He stepped aside to allow her in, brushing down a stray spike of hair that was sticking up as she passed. He went to close the door again, only to be interrupted at the last moment by a familiar knock; he could tell it was Kiba, as both Hinata and Shino were quieter in just about everything they did. "Yo." "Naruto, man! What's up?" Kiba fairly bounded forward and clapped him on the shoulder, making a lazy smile appear on Naruto's face. "The sky." "Heh, funny. Oi, is that your cousin?" "Yeah. Ey, Karin," Naruto called, making her look up from her seat at the table. "This is Kiba, Hinata, and Shino." He pointed to each one in succession. Shino looked weird as heck in a yukata, but he didn't dwell on it. "Nice to meet you," Hinata said with a shy smile. Karin grinned and waved her over, gesturing to the seat beside her. "Whatcha been up to?" Kiba asked, lingering in the entryway as Naruto shut the door. The blond shrugged. "Training, missions, nothing fantastic." "Except for almost DYING," Sasuke bit out, yelling over the sound of the stove. Naruto twitched. "What happened?" Shino asked, frowning. Naruto shrugged. "I just-" "Went into some tunnels alone 'for fun' to get lost for several hours and nearly got caved in on," Sakura cut in smoothly, sliding in with two platters in her hands. "I would hope you refrain from doing such dangerous things in the future." "Ah…yeah..." The same "If you do something stupid again, I'll maim you" air was about Shino as the time he'd forgotten to wake him up; Naruto laughed nervously and scratched his cheek, his own nervous tic. "Jeez. You're either a daredevil or a danger magnet. Probably both," Kiba mused. Another knock; this time more like a slight pounding. He heard muttering outside the door, and as soon as he opened it, he was barraged by a tidal wave of green. "Naruto-kun! I thank you so much for inviting us into your home!" Lee boomed, bowing at the waist. Naruto cringed and rubbed his ear, eyeing the green he and Gai were wrapped in. If he thought seeing Shino in casual wear was odd, seeing Gai in it was weird as hell. Then again, seeing him in anything but his jumpsuit and flak jacket was weird as hell. "No problem. It'll be fun." He waved in a noncommitting way, motioning them inside. "Well, something smells good," TenTen said in an appreciating tone, shrugging off the overcoat she wore over a set of clothing similar to what she usually wore, but more suited for a dinner. "Sasuke's a great cook," Naruto replied. "Uchiha Sasuke?" Kiba laughed from his cushion. "The one we know?" Sasuke glided into the room with the last platter in his hands, expression haughty. "Don't insult me, Inuzaka." "Eheh, I didn't mean anything by it…" With a grin, Sakura wrapped her arms around Lee in greeting. "Where's Kakashi-sensei?" she asked after giving him a quick peck on the lips (and causing his face to turn tomato red). "If he's late, I will kill him," Sasuke scowled. "Ah, Sasuke-kun, why would you want to hurt your dear sensei?" Kakashi asked, poking his head in through the door to the kitchen. Glaring, Sasuke tapped his foot pointedly, making the man's eye curve up. "Don't be impolite to a guest, Sasuke-kun!" "I seem to recall that this 'guest' once emptied my refrigerator of eggs at seven in the morning. Who's impolite?" Kakashi waved his hand. "I bought you new ones!" Rolling his eyes, Sasuke settled into his seat. He'd brought in exactly twelve, ensuring Kakashi would get the best spot…on the end, right by Gai. On the 'green beast's other side sat Lee, followed by Sakura, Karin and Hinata. Sasuke at on the other side's end with TenTen on his left, Shino, Kiba, Neji and Naruto following after. "Thank you for this wonderful meal," Gai began, dramatic tears streaming down his face as he placed his hands together. "Kakashi, you have a truly wonderful team. You must be so proud!" "Ahah…aha…" The jounin chuckled and leaned just the slightest bit away from his rival as he was overcome with emotion. "Itadakimasu!" the table chorused. Naruto poured a tiny amount of sauce over his rice, eyeing the portions of salad and steamed vegetables sitting alongside his mackerel and soup with amused distaste. Sasuke couldn't just go one meal without including vegetables, could he? "Wow," TenTen said from down the line, "you're a great cook, Sasuke." "Sakura helped," the Uchiha replied, expression blank with the tiniest amount of embarrassment- or, rather, bashfulness- filtering through. Sakura snickered from the other side of the table. "I only helped a little. Once he gets into the kitchen, he's the captain of the ship." "Where'd you learn to cook so well?" Kiba asked around a mouthful of fish. Shino elbowed him in the gut, causing him to swallow it before he'd finished chewing. Sasuke's eyes flicked to his plate. "My mother taught me some," he said hesitantly, causing a brief (if guilty for bringing it up) pause before he went on. "I took classes. Kami knows Naruto's useless when it comes to food." "Oi!" Naruto didn't mind taking the attention off his friend. "I'm not useless." "You burnt cereal," Sasuke replied flatly. Naruto cringed when Neji raised an eyebrow at him and TenTen smothered a giggle. "How did you burn cereal, though?" Karin asked incredulously. Blushing, Naruto ducked his head. "It was the cereal's fault, dammit," he muttered. "I'm sure it was," Sakura chuckled. "Once he left a ramen cup in the microwave for ten minutes," Sasuke continued. Naruto glared at him and stuck his tongue out, returning to his food with a pout. "Don't worry, Naruto-kun. Even if your talents don't lie in making food, you have many other areas you excel at." Lee grinned at him and flashed him a thumbs up. "T-that's true," Hinata agreed, having been mostly silent, too shy to compliment him on her own. "Cooking isn't everything." "True," Naruto agreed, oblivious as she blushed and broke eye contact, "although if I ever have to do anything beyond char some meat to have I'll probably starve to death." "Char?" Neji's eyebrow was back up again, making Naruto's pout reappear. "I just forget to check it, okay?" "Wasn't Jiraiya-sama coming over tonight?" Kakashi asked. He'd somehow avoided showing his face, even though the diners routinely paused and glanced at him to try and catch a glimpse of it. "Yeah, but he had something to do so he'll be a little late," Naruto replied with a shrug. "Kakashi," Gai said with a disturbingly shiny grin, swiveling to face the man with a gleam in his eyes. "What say you to a challenge?" "At the table?" Kakashi asked with a mix of tiredness and skepticism. "I don't mind," Sasuke cut in. "Not at all." Sakura shrugged at them. "Go right ahead," Naruto said with a blank expression, staring directly at their sensei. The rest of the table sweatdropped as they threw him under the bus. "Yosh! Your students are filled with youth and a zest for life, my rival! The first to unseat their chopstick loses," Gai said with a triumphant cry, setting one of his chopsticks vertically on the nip of his nose. Sighing, Kakashi did the same, eyeing his food forlornly as his progress was put to a halt. It was challenging sneaking in bites when no one was looking, but Sasuke's cooking really did put the cheap supermarket meals he usually had to shame. The two sat in awkwardly stiff poses as the others continued eating and watched them. Gai's grin never wavered, nor did the flat expression in Kakashi's eye. "How long you think they'll be able to keep that up?" Kiba whispered. "I bet five minutes," Karin whispered back. "Er, Naruto-kun, can you pass the soy?" Hinata asked. "Sure. Here ya go." She flushed when his hand brushed hers as he handed the bottle to her. Gai and Kakashi didn't move a muscle when a knock sounded on the door. Naruto wiped his mouth with a napkin and stood up, moving down the line until he'd reached the door and opened it with a slight wave of his hand before he was all the way there. Distracted as they were, no one noticed- except for two of the most observant members of the party. "Hey, gaki. Sorry I'm late." "It's all right. There's enough to go around." Naruto nodded towards the table, not bothering to lock the door behind Jiraiya; even if his security seals were down, he would know when someone entered the compound- and who would attack a room full of jounin, tokubetsu jounin hopefuls, and a sannin anyway? He led Jiraiya to the end, opening a wicker basket and pulling out another cushion. Kakashi sent him a pointed glare, but Naruto just smirked at him, setting the cushion down beside his seat and sitting down again. He passed two platters down further so Jiraiya could reach them, setting them back on the table's hot plates when he'd gotten his portions. "Holy crap," the sannin said as soon as the fish hit his mouth, "who made this? Not you, I'm guessing," he teased, eyeing Naruto. "Sasuke did," Naruto replied before matching his gaze with a smirk. "You're one to talk. You turned our fish into charcoal the other day." "Pssh, whatever, little brat." "So that's where he gets it from," Kiba muttered. He shot a glance at Jiraiya when he thought the man wasn't looking, wondering why a sannin had decided to train Naruto in particular- not that he still held any illusions about him being a dead last anymore. It was just strange- but then again, Tsunade had taken Sakura on as her student. He naturally drew a line between Sasuke and Orochimaru, but from what he'd heard of that sannin, he definitely wasn't seeking him out any time soon. "Aha!" Gai boomed. Everyone turned to look at him, chuckling at the dull expression Kakashi wore. His chopstick had somehow fallen in such a way it was stuck in his mask. "I've won this test of patience and balance! That makes sixty-two to sixty-three, my eternal rival!" "Gai-sensei's in the lead. You better do something to fix that, sensei," Sakura called teasingly. With a cheery eye-smile, Kakashi turned to Gai and interrupted his shining moment. "I have an idea, Gai. For the next challenge, we'll just have our students spar." "That is an excellent idea! I would like to see how Naruto fairs against Lee. It will be extremely beneficial to fight against someone with such a large ninjutsu arsenal. And your Sasuke against Neji- one dojutsu against the other! It will be a test of our teaching capabilities," Gai said as he clenched one fist, a light shining down on him from above. "Awesome," Naruto deadpanned. When the plates had started to empty, Sasuke stood up. "You can leave your dishes on the table. I'll go get a refreshment." He retreated into the kitchen. Sakura stood to lead the group to the porch, opening up a sliding door in the wall and motioning for them to follow her. Sasuke poured the last of a bottle of sparkling cider into a tray of glasses, placing it in a bin and turning to retrieve another. As his back was turned, he never noticed Izuna poke his head through the wall, an evil smirk in place as he levitated a bottle Sasuke had never bought- or even knew was in the house- into the air and poured its contents into the glass he knew Naruto would take- the set had numbers on the side for stylistic reasons, and he always chose the number nine glass. He set the bottle back down, disappearing as Sasuke turned back with a new cider bottle in hand. Most of the time, Izuna and Naruto were on the same side involving pranks. But as it was, he had a bit of a vindictive side…when Naruto did tick him off, revenge was sweet. Besides, nothing that bad could happen. Two jounin and a sannin were there. Sasuke paused with a frown, feeling something was off- but even the resident workaholic was relaxed, and chalked it up to his imagination. Naruto lifted his glass from the tray Sasuke set on the porch railing, whistling to himself as he found a seat. The main Uchiha house had a large area for luxury time, and the side porch had a nice view of the village- the yard in front of it was decorated with a few benches and a fountain, as well as a few trees Naruto had helped grow. He sat down on the edge of the fountain, watching Team Eight and Karin settle in at a grouping of chairs in the yard while Team Ten spread out across the porch. Gai was off in the corner of the yard doing something with Kakashi, while Jiraiya occupied a lounge chair on the porch and folded an arm over his eyes. Sasuke and Sakura walked down the steps towards him. He raised his glass to his lips, taking a long sip before the flavor hit him. What the hell? It was…it was… It was delicious. With nary a thought as to why the "cider" suddenly tasted so wonderful, Naruto took another gulp, and another. The group's conversations became muted as he drained his glass, falling into a giggle fit when it was all gone. Sasuke frowned at him as he came nearer. Naruto slid off the fountain and let himself thump to the grass, leaning his back against it as he snickered- suddenly, the face he'd carved into the tree in front of him when he was eight seemed hilarious. Sasuke snatched his glass up and took a sniff. "Oh, come on," he called out, annoyed, as he turned back towards the porch. Everyone fell silent, turning to look at him. "All right, who spiked Naruto's drink?" "I want some more!" Naruto leapt up and grabbed for the glass; Sasuke held it out of his reach, scowling. Jiraiya removed his arm from his eyes and sat up, squinting into the relative darkness illuminated by the house lights to find them. "Someone spiked his drink?" With a frown, TenTen stood up, flanked by her teammates. "All right, who was it?" "Wasn't us! We wouldn't do that," Kiba said, coming over with a glare. "And- wait, why's he so…drunk? He only had a little, didn't he?" He observed Naruto as the blond leaned against Sasuke's back, wrapping one arm around the Uchiha's shoulders from behind and using the other to bring up under Sasuke's arm and clutch the material on his shoulder. "Naruto has a…medical condition which makes him very sensitive to wine," Sakura explained, trying to detangle the two. "He can handle other alcohols such as beer or sake better, but wine in particular is like catnip to him. He gets drunk very easily." "Well, there's not that much harm, is there? He's just gotta sleep it off?" "The problem is you can't let him run off," Jiraiya sighed as he jumped down from the railing and landed beside Sakura. "Not that he wants to let go of you that much, but he has the attention span of a moth-" "Kyoufu!" Naruto dropped Sasuke like a hot potato, lunging for Jiraiya until he was wound around his middle like a clingy octopus. The man rolled his eyes and ruffled his hair. "Be afraid of what?" Kiba asked, staring in confusion. "I think he's referring to a different meaning," Shino told him quietly. He gave his teammate a pointed stare, making him clamp his mouth shut. Different meaning…? Like- oh. Oh. Ohhhhhh. Jiraiya the Sannin was Naruto's godfather? What the hell? Where had he been for the first decade of Naruto's life? Neji had deduced as much as well, even if his teammates were still vaguely confused. "Perhaps we should retire early tonight to allow Naruto's condition to wear off." "Eyyy! I have an idea!" Naruto detangled himself from his teacher and swayed, eyes lighting up. And then he disappeared out of thin air. Literally. "What the hell?!" "Where'd he go?" "Naruto!" Jiraiya facepalmed and groaned to himself. "Okay, spread out! He could be anywhere!" he ordered, pointing towards the village. "Sasuke and Sakura, you look around here. Everyone else help me look around the village." And so everyone gathered their yukatas and leapt into the trees, dashing towards the village and leaving their peaceful evening behind. Loud noise- bright light- loud noise- someone yelling. Naruto laughed as he stumbled through the street, occasionally tripping over his clothes. When he reached a more secluded area, he paused, remembering the idea he'd had. "Kage bunshin no jutsu!" "Henge!" A new voice called out not a moment later. The clone in front of him transformed to match Kurama's tastes, a few inches taller than Naruto himself with a mane of bright red hair and the characteristics Naruto usually gained when he used the Kyuubi's power. Kurama's yukata had turned red, decorated with white spirals and magatama to contrast with Naruto's black. "Kit, we should totally- totally-" He broke off into a laugh, planting his hands on Naruto's shoulders to steady himself. "We should- do something." "Yeah!" Naruto agreed, staggering. "We should- um-" He bit his thumb, drawing clumsily on Kurama's forehead as the beast in human form grinned. "Ah…see..ohmeh…hmm… got it!" In a flash, the mere kage bunshin transferred into a blood clone. "Let's go paint the Hokage Monument!" The two supported each other as they ran to one of Naruto's stashes of pranking supplies in the village. It was nothing more than a tiny storage unit that he rented for a pitifully low price, due to it being in a more shady part of town; Kurama held the garage-type door open as he rifled around inside, emerging with two cans of paint in each hand with a perpetual stumble in his step from giggling. "Ah! Wait!" Naruto gasped as they crept down the street, turning a wheedling grin on Kurama. "Let's paint the Hokage Tower." "The hag will explode!" Kurama wheezed. "Yeah!" They changed course, heading in the exact opposite direction of the Hokage Tower. In his hazy state of mind, Naruto vaguely noted a shape coming down the street, turning to squint at it. Kurama ran into his back, muttering something about not making the great Kyuubi no Yoko trip before Naruto caught sight of Team Eight. "Hey! Guys!" "There he is!" Hinata exclaimed, pointing. "Who the hell are you?" Kurama slurred, swaying until he had both arms wrapped around Naruto's shoulders from behind to keep himself steady. "Oh, hey, mutt." "Mutt?" Kiba stopped short, gawking. "I don't even know you! Who the hell are you?" "I AM THE GREAT-" Naruto elbowed him in the gut, some sense managing to make it through to his brain. "This is Kurama," he said with a lopsided smile. Kiba's brow creased in confusion. "Like your ninken?" "Uh…I named Kurama after Kura-chan here!" "Yeah," the fox agreed, briefly lifting one arm to point into the air. "Naruto, you are intoxicated. You need to return to your home and-" "Shiiiiiiino," Naruto interrupted. "I can't do that! You know why?" All three of them tensed, as if they were ready to tackle him. "Because of free markets!" Hinata's and Kiba's mouths opened in confusion. Naruto leapt forward, making Kurama fall flat on his face when his support disappeared, and instead wrapped himself around an unsuspecting Shino. "Free markets," Naruto insisted, as if it were the answer to the all the village's problems. "Nonetheless, you need to return home." Kiba was gaping at them, but he had to give points to the Aburame for remaining composed with the blond hanging off his shoulders. "Pssh." The word 'home' seemed to resonate with him. When he was intoxicated, Naruto's memories often got jumbled, falling out of order when he tried to remember things. At first he was confused; he didn't have a house, so where would he go? After a moment he thought Shino meant his apartment, but realized he meant the compound instead. "Why the hell m'I the one who got one, huh?" he murmured, wilting. "D'served it the least…" "What?" Kiba ducked closer and frowned down at him, tilting his head. "What do you mean, man?" "FREE MARKETS," Naruto screeched, leaping away from Shino. Although he had been using one hand to keep him steady, the Aburame hadn't been by any means actually hugging him, so he was too slow when he tried to keep Naruto from getting away. "Shee sarkets," Kurama agreed, finally getting back to his feet. Naruto snatched their paint cans from where he'd set them on the ground and Kurama grabbed his shoulder. Team Eight lunged for them, but they'd already disappeared, leaving the three genin to land in a heap on the street. Naruto stared up at his masterpiece in awe, which was in actuality just a large orange henohenomoheji he'd painted on the side of the Hokage Tower after the duo somehow found their way to it. He'd lost Kurama somewhere between starting to paint and hiding from a passing ANBU. He thought the fox had maybe fallen into a ditch, but he wasn't sure. "Naruto-kun!" Blinking a few times to clear his vision of a bout of blurriness, Naruto turned and spotted Gai swinging towards him over the roofs. Kakashi wasn't far behind. "Hey, Gai-sensei! Look," Naruto said, emphasizing his point by spreading his arms to encompass his 'masterpiece'. Gai landed in front of him with a sweatdrop. "Ah! It's Kakashi's ninken's henohenomoheji. Excellent work! Now we shall return home and rest." "Ah, but…" Naruto looked around helplessly. "I lost Kurakun…" "Kura-kun?" Kakashi glanced about with a raised eyebrow, looking for whoever he was talking about. "Do you mean-" "Kurama!" Naruto screeched, hands cupped around his mouth. "Kurama!" "Shhh! You'll wake everyone up!" There was a nervous lilt to the curve of Kakashi's eye as he covered his student's mouth. "Come on, Naruto, we can wait for him at the house- " A wave of tiredness overcame him. "He'll probably just die in a gutter," he said nonchalantly, making Gai stare at him with dramatic lines over his face. By 'die' he meant 'dispel', but the jounin didn't know that. "I'm goin' to sleep," he said, and with little explanation, disappeared to his nearest Hiraishin mark. This time, however, Kakashi had a firm grip on his shoulder, the odd sensation of falling in his gut the only warning he received. "Um, Naruto…" "No, sensei?" "…where are we?" "Uh…" Naruto shrugged. He stumbled forward and flopped onto the couch of the small living room they'd appeared in. "Naruto, we really can't use someone's apartment like this," Kakashi said, sweatdropping as he tried to rouse him. "Eno shemans kartlent," the boy muttered into the pillow. "Ah…" Kakashi glanced around. The room was connected to a kitchenette, and he could see a bathroom through one door. Looking out the window it didn't have the greatest view, set in a part of the village more populated with trees and less busy. He spotted a bedroom that was scantily decorated, as well as a smaller one situated next to it. -Except it also had a fireplace with some familiar pictures. For a moment, he stood staring, first at the framed photo of the sannins' team picture, then at the ones of Team Jiraiya and Team Minato, and finally of the last, featuring Minato and a heavily pregnant Kushina in their home. Of course he'd come here, he thought fondly, relaxing. He gathered Naruto up from the sofa and headed for the spare room, jerking slightly when, despite being barely conscious, he snagged something from the coatrack. Sweatdropping again, he dumped the blond on the bed. He batted Kakashi's hands away like it was a game, derailing his attempts to somehow get him under the covers, and instead just pulled Jiraiya's spare haori over him. It was large enough to swallow him whole. Chuckling, Kakashi pulled the fabric up so it covered Naruto's ears. He went to leave through the window, but paused when he saw the seals carved into the wood. Will that electrocute me or something else as ghastly? He'd gotten in because of Naruto, but… On second thought, he reached for his radio to tell everyone he'd found their wayward Jinchuriki instead. "-and I never actually expected you to do anything remotely related to settling down. I thought you were the great wandering perverted hermit, hmm?" "Aw, come on. I gotta have somewhere to sleep when the gaki's yelling at me to train him." "Sensei told me you literally begged him in public to let you train him." "T-that was..." "You know, your sulking and depressive fits are starting to remind me of Grandfather…" Naruto pulled his cover up over his head, leaving his feet open to the cool morning air. Twitching, he tried to fall back into the arms of blissful sleep, but the voices were persistent. "-on a serious note, this might present a problem. If someone ever gets him drunk…" "I know. He's as harmless as a flee, but- well, that's the problem itself." "At least he had the sense of mind to come back here." "Eventually. Ugh…if we go out on the road I won't be able to leave him alone. My poor research…" "Oh, quit moping. He'll just have to learn how to work around it." Naruto sat up, expression dead. His hair stuck out in every direction, the short ponytail he'd strung it into as it got longer- much like Iruka's- nearly come undone. What time is it? he thought groggily, wrinkling his nose at the clock. Seven a.m.? Are these people nocturnal? It was barely light out. He rolled off the bed and let himself thud to the floor. "Looks like your student is awake," the female voice chuckled. Naruto got up and shuffled to the door, peering into the living room with confused eyes. The haori was still on him, hanging off his head so one yellow dot was on his forehead. Jiraiya sat on a chair while Tsunade was lounging on the couch. "Have a good sleep, brat?" Tsunade asked with a smirk. Squinting at her, Naruto said nothing in reply. "… waaaaaaat." The two sannin sweatdropped at him. "You got drunk again, somehow." Tsunade glanced at the haori, biting her lip to keep a grin from forming. "Oh," Naruto said, beginning to come back to himself. He bit his thumb and swiped some blood across his wrist, summoning his usual attire in place of his yukata- but he still didn't know why they both looked like they were trying not to laugh. "What?" "Got something on your head," Jiraiya said, lips twitching. Frowning, Naruto reached up and felt something on his hair. He tugged it down and froze, embarrassment creeping up his neck. "You saw nothing," he shrieked, spinning around and fleeing so quickly the haori was left hanging in midair. He leapt onto the window like a dog and jumped out while Jiraiya cackled at him. "I have pictures!" he yelled, laughing harder when a cry of angered pain signaled Naruto running into a tree.