"Why must you insist on driving us apart?" Edward couldn't keep his voice from shaking, though he willed it not to. He glared out of the gargantuan window of Carlisle's study that had since been converted to a makeshift hospital. Bella looked up at him from where she was perched on the edge of a chair, her face pinched in concentration as she tried to will her hand to move. She wanted to hold his hand, to offer what little comfort she could, but it seemed beyond her. He merely watched as she failed, over and over again. "What would you have me do? I cannot just sit by and watch you suffer. Its torture for me as well." He spoke more softly this time, his voice gentle.
"This is my fight," Bella said stubbornly, her eyes flashing. He shook his head with a barely suppressed groan. How could she just stand there and talk about fighting like it was nothing? How could she look at herself and not see the fear and the doubt that lingered in her eyes? The contradiction was frustrating, and he could feel the anger swelling up inside him once more. "Our baby-"
"It's not going to happen," he said sharply, cutting her off. The anger was boiling over now, drowning out everything else. "You can't keep something that is going to kill you, Bella."
"Edward," she said pleadingly, desperation and fear creeping into her voice. "Please, don't do this."
He shook his head again and turned away from her, unable to bear the sight of her anymore. Was that cruel?
Yes, it was.
But he couldn't stand the malnourished and haunted look in her eyes, the way she shrunk away from him when he came too close. The way her body trembled when he touched her, the way it didn't look like it would ever be warm again. The hands that were now rough, the skin stretched too thin over her bones. No, he couldn't stand it. It made him want to scream and to rage, to do something - anything - to make it all better.
"Can you just try? To see that what I'm telling you is the truth? That I'm not just making this up?" She pressed, her voice soft and pleading. "Please. Just... hear me out when I say that I love you, that I love this baby and that we can all be together."
He wanted to believe her. God, he wanted to so badly but everything in him was screaming that she was lying. That she was living in a dream world, wrapped up in her own little fantasy and that he was the only one who could see it for what it was. "Bella, I love you too much to let you do this."
She shook her head. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice breaking. There was a pause and then she drew in a deep breath. "Perhaps..." she began, her words coming out in a rush, "perhaps if you just stayed here with me, tried to understand—"
"No!" he cried, and stood up from the chair, his fists clenching and unclenching. "How could you even suggest such a thing!"
"It's the only way to help me," she said, her voice still laboured and broken as she struggled to find words. She shook her head, her lips trembling, and sank back down onto the bed. She looked so small and lost. "No one believes me, Edward. Rose is the only person who seems to care enough to listen, to see how I feel, and she... believes that you're all wrong in your thinking."
Leave it to Rosalie to enable Bella's delusion. Rosalie had always wanted children, had always wanted a family. And it seemed no coincidence that out of everyone, she had taken the most interest in Bella during her pregnancy. He pitied Rosalie, yes, but he could not help the resentment that simmered just beneath the surface. The knowledge that she was only driving Bella closer to death.
Was there a possibility that he was missing something? That perhaps he wasn't seeing things through her eyes? Was he so clouded by his own pain, his own fears that he hadn't stopped to consider how she felt?
"When you die, Bella," he said quietly, trying to regain control of himself, "you'll never have another chance. You won't come back from it. Not ever. You are going to die."
Her lip quivered and then she swallowed hard, closing her eyes tightly. "I know that," she whispered, her voice barely audible, "But I've got to try."
Authors Note: Hello everyone. I apologize if this chapter is rather jarring from the previous one. I was quite interested in writing a flash-back to Bella's pregnancy, developing a conversation between herself and Edward that I felt was important to establish. I understand that the topic of pro-life and abortion is at the moment a very sensitive subject, but I wanted to explore the idea of why some people choose to fight for life despite knowing that they may lose the battle. I really admire Bella's courage in Breaking Dawn and her ability to go through with an impossible decision. I was often incredibly angry at Edward and Jacob's inability to truly listen to her and to understand what she was going through in favor of forcing her to terminate the pregnancy. I can understand now that they were probably mostly thinking about keeping her safe and that carrying a potentially frightening and monstrous child to term would endanger her. But what she wanted was for them to trust her and support her, and for the most part they failed at that. This story is not meant to take sides on either side of the argument; I am simply exploring the concept. I hope you enjoy the chapter.