41: Unsettled Weather
Xelloss waited in the deepening gloom, with a small fire going but no other light. He almost didn't notice Zelgadis had returned until a moment before the door opened.
He stood up from his chair by the fire as Zelgadis stepped inside. The chimera closed the door and stopped. They stood there, facing each other in silence, half hidden in the dim light from the fireplace. The only sound was the soft crackling of the flames.
Xelloss could sense no emotion at all from Zelgadis. He did not seem angry or depressed, but he also did not seem relieved or happy to be back home... back at the cottage, Xelloss corrected himself. "Home" was a human concept. He didn't think even Zelgadis thought of the cottage that way.
He was used to Zelgadis shielding his emotions, as any experienced sorcerer or swordsman learned to do, but this was different. Right now, Zelgadis could not be much less emotionally readable if he had left town. He was nothing like the blank space that was Melly, of course, nor like Myona with his glass-like shield. Zelgadis was still Zelgadis. There was still energy in his presence, but it had gone disturbingly silent and blank.
It was as if his emotions had gone numb. Xelloss wondered if that was deliberate, or if he was simply too tired to feel anything. Fatigue was not an emotion, but Xelloss usually recognized it when he sensed it.
He finally spoke, as much to get Zelgadis to say something as with any real curiosity.
"I see we are not leaving Wyndcliff today, after all, hm?"
He thought he might as well make it clear right away that he would follow along if Zelgadis did leave.
"No," Zelgadis answered after another long moment of silence. "Not tonight," he added, with the slightest hint of a weary sigh.
He dropped his mud-covered cloak and his sword by the door and walked across the room, walking past Xelloss without looking at him.
"The roads are impassable, anyway," he said as he stopped to remove his muddy boots by the far side of the fireplace.
"So I've heard!" Xelloss agreed cheerfully.
That wouldn't matter to either of them, if they really wanted to leave, Xelloss thought, but he didn't bother to remind Zelgadis of that.
Without saying any more, Zelgadis plopped his traveling bag on a chair and started pulling damp items from it.
Xelloss tipped his head, still trying to decipher Zelgadis' mood. Remembering the singed remains of the costume, he'd expected anger, perhaps fear, or at least curiosity... something. There seemed to be nothing at all.
He'd expected questions. He wasn't sure why he wasn't getting any. All things considered, he wasn't really sure he wanted any. His answers would be awkward at best, but the utter silence was disconcerting.
Zelgadis pulled out cleaner, drier clothes and grabbed one of the towels from the cabin. After a slight pause, he turned toward the back door.
"I'm going to bathe. Then sleep."
There was certainly none of the familiar hint or invitation in his words. In fact, Xelloss thought, the announcement sounded more like a warning.
He tipped his head again, and asked his own question. Merely curious, he told himself.
"Would you like company in those activities?"
Zelgadis immediately shook his head. "No."
He did add "not tonight," this time. Xelloss was not very much surprised. He insisted to himself that he was not disappointed.
Zelgadis walked out. He had stayed just out of arm's reach as he crossed the small room, and had not even looked at Xelloss as he passed by. Xelloss did not reach out to stop him.
Well, it was a silly question, anyway, he chided himself. It was not as if he had any reason to bathe, or sleep. He was not covered in mud and weary to the bone!
After his day spent fruitlessly wandering around the village, it did seem like a much more pleasant way to end the evening, to help Zelgadis wash off the grime of the day, and to help him to relax, in all the ways he could assist with those tasks. Or, conversely, to simply invade his personal space and take what he wished to take.
He nudged an ashy smudge on the floor with the toe of his boot. Genuine anger would be inconvenient if he was expected to work with Zelgadis against the Shimerians.
But besides that, he had to admit that he would much prefer the tasty kind of resistance that Zelgadis usually offered to him, deliberately stirring up his own negative emotions for Xelloss' sake/pleasure. The type of anger indicated by the charred remains of Zelgadis' costume was no longer appealing. Not even if it should be.
He did nothing at all while Zelgadis was bathing, except to return to his seat by the fire instead of standing alone in the middle of the dark room. Somehow, he managed to ignore the thought of Zelgadis, wet and naked in the bath, so nearby. It was surprisingly easy to avoid sensing him; there was hardly anything to sense. There was only the basic fact of his presence, at the moment not much different from any other living being that might be nearby. None of the beautiful turmoil of emotions Xelloss was used to.
Zelgadis came back in shortly, dressed in his slightly damp, but much cleaner pajamas. He was nearly stumbling with weariness as he crossed the room and disappeared into the bedroom, still without saying a word.
After a minute or two, Xelloss got up silently and went to the bedroom door. Zelgadis was already asleep.
Xelloss sighed silently. There was nothing more for him to do now but to spend another night simply watching Zelgadis sleep. For some reason, he did not find this as strangely pleasant as it had been in the past. It felt much more like waiting than it had in all these months, although he couldn't have said what he was waiting for.
Zelgadis was still not back to his usual grumpy self the next morning. Not grumpy enough for Xelloss to enjoy, anyway, and without any other emotions for him to decipher, either. He poured his coffee without comment, then sat down at the bare table and stared silently out the window while he drank it.
It was starting to make Xelloss more than a little uncomfortable to not even be able to guess what Zelgadis was feeling. He felt if he was adrift in some kind of odd sub-space with no landmarks or mooring.
He finally opened his mouth to ask, without even knowing what question to start with, but Zelgadis spoke first.
"What is she up to here?" he asked.
He still stared out the window, not looking at Xelloss. His voice was flat, only the slight narrowing of his eyes and the tightening of his grip on his coffee cup indicating his suspicion. He might have been talking to himself, but Xelloss felt compelled to answer.
"As far as I know, nothing at all!" he answered with a shrug. "As you now know, Zel-san, she's been visiting Myona-kun here since long before we knew this place existed. And it was your own decision to come to Wyndcliff, where she happened to already have a personal interest."
Zelgadis stared at nothing a moment longer, then turned away with a soft snort. "Even so..." he said, and trailed off.
He set down his cup and stood up, and stepped away from the table with his back to Xelloss.
"She knows all about... everything. Doesn't she." He finally turned, looking at Xelloss directly for the first time since he'd returned to the cottage. "Myona told her. The astral magic lessons, the spell I just created... everything."
Xelloss stood there with his mouth open. He couldn't find an answer. Yes, he realized, startled all over again by it. She knew all those things, and not because he'd reported them to her.
Zelgadis' voice was still empty of emotion, but his stony cheeks flush purple-pink, and he could not seem to look directly at Xelloss as he trailed off.
Ah yes, Xelloss thought with bitter amusement. The sex, as well. At least, Myona had seemed to understand what was going on between them, if not in complete detail. The truth was, he didn't really know what Zelas-sama must think of that, either.
He thought of mentioning that she'd been pleased by Zelgadis' new spell, as long as it was focused on their mutual enemies, the followers of Shimer. Unfortunately, he knew Zelgadis was not likely to take her approval as a compliment.
"Yes, well, Myona-kun saved me the trouble of making a lengthy report!" he confirmed, finally, with forced cheer that he didn't feel. "She was quite up to date on local affairs, you might say!"
"Huh," Zelgadis grunted, a humorless laugh. "Of course. And Myona has been so very helpful at finding relevant research material for me in the Mala's library. I'm sure that's no coincidence, either, is it." Zelgadis stared at him, eyes narrowed again. "He said it at the start. I was meant to find ways to help the mazoku defeat the Soldiers of Shimer."
"Why, so he has been!" Xelloss answered, a little flustered.
"Of course he has. It was all set up to serve her purpose. All to try to get me to accept her offer."
Xelloss winced. Zelgadis seemed to have thought through the implications of the situation more thoroughly than he had. He'd been too busy wondering what Zelgadis planned to do next. How very... uncomfortable.
He should have spent more time figuring out what his Mistress expected of him, all this time. He wondered if Zelgadis was right, if in fact Myona had even been nudging Zelgadis toward accepting her offer, all along, whether he knew it or not.
That should not have been necessary if he'd been following his orders all this time! Perhaps all the other matters he'd neglected were of little concern to Zelas-sama, but she had made it a point to mention this, the one thing he'd most completely ignored. He'd better get back to work on that, here and now, he thought. But how?
"He'd make a great mazoku," Zelgadis burst out, turning away again. He grabbed his pack and jammed items into it with a great deal more force than necessary. "Why doesn't she offer to make him one of you? He's already as good at sneaking and deceiving as... "
He stopped short.
Xelloss stared at him, eyes open, fists clenched - suddenly on full alert, and angry. He wasn't even sure why. He only knew that Zelas-sama had been highly offended when he'd made the same suggestion the day before, so he was obligated to take offense at it now, whether he understood why or not.
Zelgadis didn't seem to notice, but he shook his head.
"Forget that," he said. He waved a hand as if to clear the air of his own words. "He's not already halfway a monster, after all," he muttered.
Xelloss relaxed, marginally. Perhaps Zelgadis had only spoken out of his own self-loathing rather than with any impertinence toward Zelas-sama. Even so, he still spoke with little emotion. His tone was more weary than bitter.
The conversation could not be dropped so easily, though. Xelloss felt he had to take this chance to begin to make up for his neglected duty, even though he knew exactly how it was likely to go.
"That offer was only extended to you, Zelgadis," he said. "It is not offered lightly, you know. You should take it as an honor!"
Zelgadis spun around and glared at him. Xelloss sensed, finally, a brief but definite flutter of emotion, stifled so quickly that he could only guess what it must have been. The chimera's voice was calm and reasonable again when he spoke a second later, without anger or fear or even pride. Only the force of simple, unalterable fact, staring Xelloss right in the eye as he spoke.
"My answer is still the same. I'll never join you."
"I never thought you would!" Xelloss answered, a little too quickly. It sounded even to his own ears as if he were glad of it. How could he be, if it was what Zelas wished? He caught himself and corrected the mistake as casually as possible.
"But the offer is certainly still open. As I said, you should be honored."
Zelgadis turned his back again and began to lace close his pack, making a show of ignoring him.
The chimera's own words reminded Xelloss of something else Zelas-sama had said, a selling point he should have been making to Zelgadis all along.
"May I remind you, Zel-san, that she is also offering a way for you to regain your human form?"
Or perhaps it was better that he had not made it after all, he thought a second later. Zelgadis turned again, slowly this time, and glared ice arrows at him, just as he should well have expected.
"Yes, you mentioned that back in Seyroon... what does that mean?" he said. He folded his arms and let out a brief, disgusted laugh. "Only in appearance, of course! An illusion of being human-like you. Isn't that right?"
"Ah! Well...perhaps, as you say...!" Xelloss stammered. He realized once again that he had not really considered how this transformation would work. "It would be much more convenient, you know..." he started to add.
As soon as that slipped out, he knew he'd just dug himself into an even deeper hole.
"More useful, you mean? To her?"
Zelgadis spat out the words. He stood with arms crossed and glared at Xelloss, but even so, Xelloss could not sense anger from him. He might have been a Loremaster giving a stern lecture on some abstract magical concept to a particularly obtuse student.
Xelloss opened his mouth to answer, but he had no idea what he was supposed to say. He couldn't lie. The truth was, he had no idea if, or how, his mistress might expect Zelgadis to be... useful. He was not even sure he wanted to know.
Zelgadis turned away again, dropping his hands to his sides.
"You also said you get to keep asking me. Don't waste your make-believe breath. The answer is no."
Xelloss could find nothing to say to that. He stood in his usual place near the fire, and wondered just how this conversation had gotten so far out of his control.
The next thing he knew, Zelgadis was adjusting the straps of his pack and picking up his cloak.
So they were leaving town after all, Xelloss thought. But Zelgadis had unpacked and set aside several of his important traveling items, including his sword and the cowl that hid his face.
He made a questioning sound. Considering Zelgadis' stony mood, he though he'd be lucky to get an answer to a direct question.
"I'm going out," Zelgadis announced, although that much was obvious. "You don't need to come along. I doubt I'll need protection from any Shimerians around here."
He stopped to grab his notebooks and quills from the table. Xelloss guessed where he was going.
"You are continuing your studies, then?"
Zelgadis didn't answer as he headed for the door.
"Do you intend to continue with your astral magic lessons as well, and your battle practice?"
These things might also be useful to Zelas-sama, he thought, but this time he knew better than to say so.
Perhaps Zelgadis had the same thought. He stopped with his hand on the door, and Xelloss almost sensed a notable surge of emotion along with his sharp glance. Then there was nothing.
"I'm going to the Mala's library," was all the answer he got. "You don't need to be there. I can deal with Shuno and Melly."
"Oh, but watching you work so hard is so entertaining!" Xelloss said happily.
The joke fell flat. Zelgadis was neither amused nor annoyed.
"Do what you want," he said, and walked out.
Of course Xelloss followed him. It was not because he wanted to, he told himself. After all, what else did he have to do at the moment? Following Zelgadis wherever he went was in his job description.
Zelgadis marched down the hill and then up onto one of Myona's shortcut paths that skirted above the north side of the village. He knew Xelloss would follow. He did his damnedest to ignore the mazoku.
A fitful wind had picked up, sighing in the cedar hedge and making the tall, bare trees on the hillside creak and groan. Bars of sunlight and shadow chased each other across the bay. There was a dark streak of rain out over the open sea, and another line of showers cutting across the southern mountains, but the nearby hillside was bathed in stark sunlight, and the higher peaks glimmered with frost.
He breathed in the scent of wet earth, dead leaves and juniper fronds, along with wood smoke and the tang of the sea. The forlorn call of sea birds circling below the cliff mingled musically with the soft clang of ships' rigging drifting up from the harbor, underscored by the rumble of the sea and by many streams clattering along their new channels. The strange aura of the temple seemed stronger than usual, as if it had also been stirred up by the festival and the storm; it ebbed and faded as they left the temple grounds, but still hovered at the edge of his senses.
Every scent and sight and sound was a welcome distraction from Xelloss.
Zelgadis had spent weeks studying Xelloss on every sensory and extra-sensory level, months honing his own dark emotions as a gift and invitation to Xelloss. He had spent years, it seemed, feeling increasingly attracted to and annoyed by the mazoku. Ignoring Xelloss now was as hard as the most difficult spell Zelgadis had ever tried to master.
Xelloss himself had made no attempt to tease or annoy or seduce or distract him, either last night or this morning. That should have made it easier to ignore him now, but it didn't. It only made the effort more painful, and the necessity of it more clear.
It had been very clear from the moment he'd stepped foot in the cottage: either Xelloss no longer wanted him, or he was no longer allowed to want him. Either way, Zelgadis knew that the best thing he could do now for Xelloss - or for himself - was to cease to be a distraction, or any kind of temptation, to Xelloss.
He could not fix things this time simply by aligning himself with Xelloss' assigned duties. Especially not when his primary duty now was to convince Zelgadis to join the Mazoku - to become one of them. That would never happen. That meant that the best thing for both of them for was for him to simply make himself unnoticeable to Xelloss. The problem was, in order to do that, he first needed to stop noticing Xelloss as well.
The only way he could try to do that was to let everything else in the world wash over him, like deep ocean waves, soothing and drowning his senses. Aware of anything and everything in the world, except Xelloss.
He heard footsteps padding along behind him on the path, and did his best not to think about who was walking behind him.
Out of habit, he kept one eye out for Myona at the place where he usually came breathlessly rushing up the hill from the village to meet them. When he finally spotted the boy, he was still down in the village, walking slowly along a narrow side street between shuttered shops. He was not heading in their direction. Tano trotted up the street beside him, chattering and gesturing, bouncing along beside Myona like an eager, curly-haired puppy.
Zelgadis couldn't tell if Myona was really listening or just tolerating the chatter. Just as he thought this, Myona glanced up toward the hillside where he and Xelloss had paused, and his steps slowed to a stop.
Tano followed his gaze and stopped as well. He leaned in and appeared to ask Myona something.
Myona stared up at Zelgadis silently for a moment. Then he shook his head, turned away, and resumed walking, southward, deeper into the village. Tano gave the hillside another quick glance, then hopped to catch up with him. A moment later, the boys disappeared among the shops and fishing shacks.
Xelloss made a puzzled sound. With a shrug, Zelgadis continued on his way. A second later, the footsteps behind him followed along.
He thought he could guess why Myona was not happy to see them this morning, himself in particular. Myona may have told Zelas everything he'd seen and guessed about them, but naturally, she had not confided in her informant to the same degree.
As soon as he'd thought of it this morning, Zelgadis had realized that if she'd wanted Myona as her minion, she would have offered him that choice by now. And unlike himself, Myona would have jumped at the chance. Obviously, she had not given him that option. He was sure Myona had not known about her "offer" to Zelgadis until she'd mentioned it that night in the forest.
He would not wish such a fate on anyone, not even a boy who idolized the mazoku so much he wanted to become one of them.
They had not gone far when Xelloss spoke for the first time since they'd left the cottage.
"Zel-san... about Myona-kun..."
"What about him?" Zelgadis asked warily. Did Zelas have some insidious plan for the boy after all? Zelgadis was not sure he wanted to know.
Xelloss plodded along in silence for a moment. Zelgadis resisted the temptation to glance back at him.
"Well?"
"Ah. Never mind!" Xelloss said. "We do know the way to the Mala's mansion well enough by now, so I suppose we really don't need a guide anymore!"
"Or a watcher," Zelgadis muttered.
"Er, as you say," Xelloss replied. "Although..."
He trailed off, eyeing the path ahead. Zelgadis paused, and Xelloss caught up to him.
"Although it appears the way has changed somewhat," Xelloss concluded.
They had come around a bend in the road and over the crest of the hill, and had reached what used to be the crossroad. The road to the north was hardly recognizable as a road now, but even the path to the Mala's mansion was half blocked with a muddy mess of debris washed up from the ogre's river, the far edge of the mud wall Zelgadis had created. It was passable, but they would need to do a bit of scrambling.
Zelgadis shielded his eyes from the early, low sun as he gazed across the road, scanning the debris wall to make sure it still held. It seemed solid, and the new river course he'd helped engineer yesterday was holding up as well, although the river still ran higher than normal. He could hear the rush of it even here. He eyed the sky warily; it would be best if these showers turned to snow rather than dump more rain onto the mountainside.
There was no sign of the ogre family. He wondered where they all ended up. It was hard to tell that anyone had ever lived on that crumbling hillside.
"You and your friends made quite an impressive mess yesterday!" Xelloss said. "Your daring and clever rescue has already become part of the lore of Wyndcliff, you know."
Zelgadis frowned. So, Xelloss had been around the village yesterday, after all. He had not shown himself, and he certainly did not help. Well, at least he didn't try to make things worse, as far as Zelgadis knew. He had no idea what Xelloss might have been doing all day, and he was not about to ask. Without further comment, he turned and wended his way among the debris, and continued on the path to Melly's house.
The Mala's garden was a soggy mess, with puddles in the path and dying autumn flowers beaten down into the mud. Zelgadis wondered if anyone was even working on it now, to put it to bed before the winter. The woman they'd sometimes glimpsed in the distance, the helper from the village that Dulcy had mentioned, had not been evident at all for some time.
The mansion itself looked damp and bedraggled as well, its dark stone facade still streaked with rain. It reminded Zelgadis of how they first had seen it through the rain and mist, what seemed like months ago.
When they came around to the front of the mansion, with the high bluff and the sea at their backs, Zelgadis looked back and saw the village now washed with autumn sunlight. The seascape painters of Mystport would love to paint such a scene, he thought. Then an iron-gray cloud closed off the light, and everything faded back to lifeless, bedraggled gray and brown.
Xelloss did not say another word the rest of the way to the mansion, only plodded along nearly silently behind him. Zelgadis fought the urge to turn and make sure he was following. Of course he was. There was no need to look at him.
The halls of the mansion smelled damp and moldy, and the air seemed even more dim than usual. It felt as if no one had lived there for years, Zelgadis thought, but soon he heard familiar voices.
"That's ridiculous!" Shuno's voice cut across the entry hall from the corridor ahead, loud and sharp through the musty air.
Zelgadis raised an eyebrow. Of course, Melly would not be affected by any recent events, and had already proposed some new scheme. Shuno must have been caught off guard, for once.
He could only hear the soft murmur of Melly's voice, probably explaining his plans with his usual implacable determination. Shuno cut him off, his voice echoing clearly around the corner.
"Look, Melly, if you ever expect to make something of yourself, you can't keep wasting your time on all these frivolous pastimes!" he barked. "When are you going to realize it's pointless? You're going nowhere with any of it, so just... shut up!"
Zelgadis paused, startled. Shuno never bothered to be polite to Melly (or anyone else), but this was unusually harsh, even for him. In spite of himself, Zelgadis looked over to see Xelloss' reaction.
The mazoku had slowed his steps as well and had raised his head, clearly listening, or sensing, the argument. He continued on, though, without pause or comment, and Zelgadis followed him around the corner.
They found Melly standing alone and silent. In place of his usual flowing, pastel robes, he wore a sparkly black tuxedo jacket and black and white striped pants. In his arms he held a black silk top hat, a bouquet of fake flowers, a deck of cards, and a live rabbit. He'd already dropped half of the cards, and the rabbit halfheartedly made as if to leap out of his arms and follow them to the floor.
Shuno was already out of sight. His footsteps echoed back down the corridor as he stomped away, and then a door slammed.
"Ah well..." Melly said, petting the rabbit absently. His voice seemed even more wispy than usual, nearly as lifeless as the forlorn garden outside. "All knowledge is useful... isn't that what you always say, Shuno-kun?"
He turned around. Zelgadis braced himself, ready for some renewed enthusiasm-such as Melly's enthusiasm was-but the Mala didn't seem to notice them. He drifted past them and disappeared around another corner, leaving a trail of playing cards behind.
"Well, perhaps this is one way that Melianthus-san can actually do magic?" Xelloss mused.
"I doubt he can even get that poor rabbit into a hat, say nothing of pulling it out again," Zelgadis said.
Refusing to give Melly and his hobbies another thought, Zelgadis went on his way to the library. The sound of Xelloss' footsteps following behind him sounded unnaturally loud in his ears.
Shuno was not in the library, although his pen and paper and notes are all laid out. Humming tunelessly, Xelloss went to his usual place and settled in to wait for him.
Zelgadis hesitated. He was not eager to sit in his usual place, as if nothing had changed, and he had no more interest in the stack of books Myona had set out for him. A different location, he thought, for a fresh start-preferably one where he would not be facing toward Xelloss.
He was still trying to decide where to sit when he realized they were not alone in the library after all. There was a shuffling of feet among the shadows between the aisles, a muttering voice, and then a loud POP and a poof of imploding air.
Marcus appeared from between the shelves, followed quickly by Kervan, both of them coughing and waving smoke out of their faces.
"I told you that wouldn't work!" Kervan growled through clenched teeth. "Just as it didn't work the last three times you tried it."
"I thought it was a different book this time!" Marcus insisted. "Forgot I already tried that one."
"Your memory is as faulty as ever."
They suddenly noticed they were not alone. Both went stone silent.
"Good morning, Kervan-san, Marcus-san!" Xelloss said, waving at them with his ridiculous grin.
Zelgadis said nothing.
"Ah," Kervan said softly. "Of course, it was too good to be true."
He and Marcus exchanged a glance, then turned away and left without another word.
That suited Zelgadis perfectly. It could only be better, he thought, if Xelloss himself would find an excuse to leave as well. Since that did not seem likely, he settled in to a new location at a different table, facing away from Xelloss (though still within sight - it did not seem the best idea to leave the mazoku completely to his own devices) and nearer to Herringgull's neglected pile of Skye legends and Beast Tribe stories. With a determined grimace, he pulled the oldest and most brittle scroll from the stack.
This morning, when Xelloss had tried to lure him with the idea of appearing human while still in thrall to the mazoku lord, he'd realized at that moment that he must return all of his energies and all the resources at his disposal here in Wyndcliff back to his own original goal: the quest to regain his human body. This was why he'd come all the way to the coast in the first place, he reminded himself firmly: To find Plover, and to investigate the Beast Tribe stories and the legends of Skye that might point to a way to reverse the chimera process.
He could thank Xelloss and Zelas for reminding him of his true goal, but his own deep desire for a normal body was not the only reason to turn back to it now. Xelloss had no choice but to follow Zelas' command. Zelgadis could not help or hinder that, but he was determined not to do anything that even appeared to go along with her wishes.
He'd decided, in that moment, that this was the only thing he could do: To make himself completely uninteresting to the mazoku. For Xelloss' sake, as well as his own. He could only hope that Zelas would not have any further interest in him if he were only a mere human.
Neither would Xelloss, he supposed. That would be just as well, for both of them.
He told himself this, insistently, as he settled in to recommence his magical research. A fresh start on his old, familiar, personal quest to be fully human again.
He decided the best place to start again would be the oldest copy of Melly's ancestor's journal- the (alleged) account of the last sorcerer to escape from the Lost City of Skye. He'd not seen that manuscript since their first day at the Mala's library, when Shuno had brought it to his attention. A quick search showed that it was not among the other Skye related books from Herringgull's pile, and it was not on the shelf with the rest of the oldest books and scrolls that Myona had pointed out on their first day here.
Zelgadis searched briefly in the stacks, but he quit when he sensed Xelloss watching him curiously.
He didn't feel like explaining himself at the moment. Instead, he found one of the supposed translations of the manuscript, the wordy and overwrought version that he'd not bothered to read before, and decided he might as well start with that.
When Shuno did not appear after some time, Xelloss had begun to wander around the library. At first he hummed random tunes and made curious noises as he picked up various books, flipped through them and tossed them down again, but he wasn't even convincingly annoying. After awhile, he fell so quiet that Zelgadis succeeded in completely ignoring his presence while he tried to make his way through the lurid prose of the journal.
He was laboring through a confusing depiction of the race to leave the island - hoping for some indication of the reason for the sudden exodus, which seemed to be missing from the text - when a shiver ran up the back of his neck. He jumped and spun around in his chair to find Xelloss right behind him, inches away, peering over his shoulder.
"Ah," Xelloss breathed softly, making Zelgadis' stone skin shiver again. "I see. You've returned to the search for the Lost City, and all those old Beast Folk stories."
With an effort, Zelgadis managed to calm his nerves and keep himself from growling back at him. He turned back to his book.
"What if I have?" he said dismissively. "It is what I came here for."
That was mostly true, even though his agenda had changed even before they found the place.
"You still wish to... " Xelloss started quietly, then he stopped. "Ah. Never mind. Of course you do," he finished, even more softly.
Zelgadis knew what he had been going to say. The conversation had become familiar so familiar by now that it was barely irritating.
"I can't help wanting to be human," he said, "any more than you can help being a mazoku."
"I suppose you can't," Xelloss answered lightly. "But might I remind you that, if you should succeed..." He stopped again.
Zelgadis barely managed to stifle a burst of frustration. If I do succeed, you'll want nothing more to do with me, is that it? Neither for business nor for ... pleasure, he thought. Yes. I know. That's the point. He said nothing.
"The Shimerian soldiers won't care in which form they find you," Xelloss continued quietly. "As a normal human, you would lack even what meager shields you have now against their weapons, or even against the Shrinekeepers' relics, you know."
Zelgadis swallowed his retort, but his breath caught in his throat. He'd said nearly the same words to Xelloss not very long ago, on the road to Wyndcliff, whether Xelloss remembered it or not. That was the real reason why he'd finally decided to come to this strange, isolated village.
It had not been only to protect himself, though. He'd thought following Xelloss' path and helping him hunt the Shimerians would be enough to shield Xelloss from the debilitating conflict of duties. Now he saw that the best way, the only way, he could protect Xelloss from himself was to put this distance between them.
He really should have left town when he had the chance. For all the good that would have done; Xelloss would just follow him, as long as Zelas thought he needed guarding.
"Well, then," he quipped, without turning around, "it's a good thing I have my own personal mazoku bodyguard, isn't it?"
Even as he said it so lightly, he shuddered inside. He remembered the cloying touch of the Relics as they tried to worm their way under his skin and into his spirit, and how merely being in Shimeria, being around the Relics for days, had begun to drain his own magical power away before he'd even noticed. A mazoku bodyguard could not shield him from that.
"It's true that, even if I do find a way to change myself back," he went on in a low voice, "that won't stop them hunting me. But I don't intend to let myself be ensnared by them. You needn't worry on that account!"
Even without the level of magical power I have now, he thought, but didn't say out loud. He'd had some small magical capacity even before being changed, and now he had so much more experience and knowledge. He would not be helpless.
"I have my own reasons for despising the followers of Shimer," he said, keeping his voice as cool and dismissive as he could force it to sound. "I don't intend to let myself be killed by them, nor to be made into one of their mindless Followers."
Xelloss was silent for a long minute, still hovering right there behind him, breathing down his neck even if he did not need to breathe. With his stone skin crawling, Zelgadis finally turned to glare back at him.
Xelloss' head was bowed, his face in shadow. All Zelgadis could see was the curve of his mouth bent in a grim smile.
"I am glad to hear this," Xelloss said, slowly raising his head to meet Zelgadis' gaze, his eyes open and glittering. "For if you were to become one of them in your quest to be human, I'm afraid my duties might change...perhaps in a way that would not be pleasant for either of us."
It was a chilling thought, but one that Zelgadis dismissed easily. He certainly had no intention of letting it come to that.
"I won't be controlled and used," he said evenly, holding Xelloss' gaze. "Not by Shimer, not by Rezo, and not by the mazoku!"
Xelloss stared at him a moment longer, his face inscrutable.
Shuno burst through the door. Xelloss backed away, a bland smile falling across his face like a familiar curtain.
"What are you doing over there?" Shuno demanded. He jerked his head toward their usual place at the table, where his pens and notes awaited. "We're late. Let's get started."
After a few seconds, Xelloss returned to his usual place, before Shuno could get impatient enough to come over and grab him by the arm.
Zelgadis had never expected to be relieved to see Shuno. Stifling a sigh of relief, he forced his attention back to the journal again, and back to the quest that had occupied all of his mind long before he'd ever met the damn mazoku.
Next: Lost In Translation - Zelgadis changes course, and a new mystery develops.
[Author's Note:
Back in August, I thought I might really have this fic finished by the end of October. Then Life happened, I got a very unwelcome medical diagnosis, and I've spend the past month recovering from major surgery. I'm just getting my writing brain back into gear enough to edit and post the next few chapters. But I am nearly done with a full draft of the final chapters. Hoping that further treatment doesn't derail me again, and I might be able to get this whole story done and posted before the end of this year! To anyone who has been following along all this time, thanks for your patience. I hope you enjoy the rest of the tale. ]