Misato's Apartment, day after Angel Attack
"So, question." Kotone suddenly spoke up, interrupting Asuka's game. Asuka bit back a grumble as she paused her game and turned to Kotone.
"What's your question?" Asuka didn't know why her teammate had all but barged in, but she was obligated to help the other, less skilled, Eva pilots considering she was the best.
"Is it normal to still feel pain from a wound a day after? Cause my arms still sting something fierce from helping catch that meteorite."
"Yeah, the phantom pain lasts a bit after the fight. Just distract yourself and it shouldn't affect you too badly."
"Cool. Cool cool cool cool. Say, where's Shinji?" Asuka's face morphed into one of annoyance.
"The Geofront. He's being tested and questioned because the Angel communicated with him or something and they want to make sure he's alright."
"Ah. Yeah, hopefully, the Angel didn't lay eggs in him or something." Asuka whipped her head around to glare at Kotone.
"Could you not?!" Asuka hissed with semi-malicious fury.
"Sorry!" Kotone raises her hands in surrender. "I'm sure Shinji is just hunky-dory and he'll be back soon!" Kotone quickly spoke, hoping not to invoke Asuka's wrath. Asuka glared at her for a moment before huffing and returning to her game.
"Yeah, he'll be fine. NERV is just paranoid about everything. Not that I blame them, we Eva pilots are the most important things on the planet!" She declared proudly. Kotone just smiled and nodded. Hopefully whatever Shinji was doing now wasn't too difficult.
NERV holographic meeting room
Shinji stared at the twelve monoliths surrounding him. The featureless edifices emblazoned with large numbers gave him a feeling of discomfort. Leader and Shiki stared at the monoliths with unfiltered hate, seemingly ready to attack at a moment's notice. They certainly did that with the guard outside this room who tried to remove them from his person. He would have to send an apology card to the guard for the mangling of his hands.
"Greetings young Ikari." An accented old voice rang out in the confines of the room. "We are the committee of the Human Instrumentality Project, the organization in charge of NERV's oversight. We understand during the recent incident the Angel who kidnapped you also communicated with you. Could you describe to us your recollection of said event?"
"Y-yeah? But I already, uh, explained everything to NERV. I'm not sure there is much more I can say." Suddenly a second voice began shouting at him.
"Listen hear you sniveling little brat-" The voice was suddenly silenced as if his microphone was cut off, replaced by a third, unaccented, voice.
"Apologies young Ikari. My compatriots are….. on edge due to recent events and are unused to dealing with children. We just want an explanation in your words in order to get the most accurate information we can."
"Alright." His face scrunched up as he tries to recall where he's heard this voice before. "Well I woke up duct taped to the warehouse wall and the Angel was staring at me. I tried to break free but that didn't work, and it told me that it didn't plan to take me as a hostage but that's what I now was. Then the Evas showed up and nothing else was really said."
"I see. Could you recall anything else? Anything that might seem small or insignificant might be useful."
"Uhhhh." Shinji racked his brain for some sort of detail but he couldn't come up with anything. "No, sorry."
"Very well. If you do remember something then you will tell your superiors immediately." Shinji recognized that wasn't a request. "You are free to leave." Shinji nodded and left the room, Leader and Shiki still glaring at the monoliths. Once he exited the room he felt an unexplained pressure leave his shoulders as he let out a relieved sigh.
"Well, I'm glad that's over." Leader growled in annoyance as Shiki clung to his neck. He noticed that Shiki was being way more clingy after the whole Angel incident. He couldn't really blame her, he would also be upset if any of his friends got kidnapped by a giant spider. "Hopefully that's the last time we have to deal with them."
"Baka." Leader agreed as Shiki clung tighter.
"Ikari." Keel intone, causing Gendo to step out of the shadows once his son had left. "Report. How was the Angel eluding our sensors for so long?"
"We hypothesize that the Angel had used it's AT-field to mimic a human to fool our detection. Unfortunately without a live test or even a body, this is only an educated guess."
"Understandable. We cannot hope for intact bodies when facing the scions of Adam. Perhaps it is for the best even, as such mysteries could tempt weaker wills." Gendo stared passively as usual.
"Meaning what, Chairman?"
"You know as well as I do Ikari, there are foes in the shadows that might wish to usurp our glorious ideal for their own purposes. Undoubtedly using clever and nefarious technologies to subvert our control."
"D̴i̸d̷ ̷y̷o̴u̸ ̴d̵o̴ ̵a̶s̴ ̸I̷ ̷a̵s̷k̴e̵d̵?" Enigma inquired, manifesting thin lines above his eye facsimiles to imitate eyebrows, before manually adjusting one with his hand so it was raised above the other.
"Yes, I downloaded the virus onto a flash drive, put a label on the flash drive that said 'payroll', and left it visible in a well-traveled area." Kaworu stated with exhaustion as he stared into the mirror.
"G̷o̸o̶d̵,̶ ̸t̷h̴e̵n̸ ̶i̵t̸ ̵w̵i̷l̸l̴ ̴o̵n̸l̸y̵ ̴b̶e̴ ̵a̴ ̸m̶a̵t̷t̶e̷r̵ ̸o̶f̴ ̶t̶i̷m̸e̸.̴"
"Are you sure it will work? It seems very… simple and something easily prevented with the use of common sense."
"N̸e̶v̷e̸r̷ ̵u̸n̶d̴e̷r̵e̵s̷t̸i̴m̸a̷t̴e̸ ̷h̷u̸m̵a̷n̴ ̸g̷r̴e̸e̷d̵ ̸a̸n̴d̴ ̸s̷t̶u̴p̷i̷d̷i̵t̵y̷ ̴T̸a̷b̷r̴i̴s̷.̸ ̵N̸o̸w̴ ̸g̵o̷,̸ ̴I̵ ̴h̴a̴v̴e̴ ̷t̶o̷ ̴g̵o̷ ̶a̴t̶t̷e̶m̴p̷t̶ ̷d̸i̶p̸l̶o̶m̸a̶c̴y̸ ̵w̴i̸t̷h̶ ̸t̷h̶a̷t̴ ̴K̸y̷o̷k̷o̵ ̵w̶o̷m̴a̸n̴ ̵a̷g̶a̴i̵n̶.̴"
"Indeed. The path to complementation is fraught with the dangers of the foolish." Gendo did not rise to the provocation.
"Hmmm. Will Angel infiltration be a concern from now on Ikari?"
"As I said before, without knowing the exact method the Angel used we cannot prepare against it. But we are updating our sensors and detection algorithms with a variety of new methods of detecting the Angels."
"So you can guarantee this will not happen again?"
"There are no guarantees in such turbulent times I'm afraid, but I assure you that the MAGI have given a ninety-three percent chance that there are no more Angels within Tokyo-3."
Elsewhere in Tokyo-3
"Is this completely necessary?" Lailah, the Angel of Conception and prisoner of her own making, inquired to Mayumi, who was stalking a Minisuka playing with a stray dog.
"Yes!" Mayumi whisper-screamed as she looked at the ghostly Lailah with disdain. "To understand these foul things I must observe them so I don't turn into them!"
"Okay, I understand where you're coming from but-"
"Hi, Mayumi!"
"Gyaaah!" Mayumi nearly fell over as the familiar voice spoke from behind her. She turned to see the red-haired visage of her classmate. "Nene. What are you doing here?"
"I was walking, looking for something Sandy wanted, but I saw you and decided to say hi!"
"Really." Mayumi spat with venomous sarcasm. "And what could 'Sandy' possibly want?"
"To burn down an orphanage so the screams of the children may act as a beacon for my damned legion." Sandyarlforq stated but was once again unheard by all.
"Twenty metric tons of bacon grease!"
"…You're lucky you're adorable and saved me from rotting in the bargain bin or I wouldn't tolerate you as my queen."
"But where would we get that many juniper berries, Sandy?"
"As riveting as your delusional conversation is, I have business to attend to. The power of those little monsters will be unraveled to me like a ball of twine." Nene blinked as she put a finger to her cheek in thought.
"Wow, that sounds important, but you better be careful with that power. Power is dangerous." Mayumi stared at her classmate blankly.
"Really." Mayumi checked to make sure her prey was still there, fortunately, the Minisuka was still there, scratching the belly of the dog.
"Yeah! It's like what Sun Tzu said to Antipope Theodoric before the Timurids assaulted the Alamo. 'With large power becomes larger responsibility'." Mayumi blinked, her brain attempting to process the sheer nonsense that just burst out of Nene's vocal orifice. She felt something warm trickle down her nose. Wiping it with her finger she confirmed that, yes, it was blood.
"Wow. What you just said was so stupid, wrong, and nonsensical that it literally caused me to suffer internal damage of some variety. Congratulations, you have to be extremely good at being such an airheaded ignoramus to accomplish such a feat." Nene beamed at that.
"Thanks! You know what they say, 'malpractice makes perfect'." Mayumi recoiled as if struck in the gut with a sledgehammer, coughing up blood like she had some unnamed, incurable disease used as a plot point in media. "Are you okay?"
"Just…. leave please."
"Okay! I still gotta find that bacon grease." Nene skipped away, unaware of the damage she had done to Mayumi.
"…Are you okay?" Lailah asked with something resembling concern.
"I need to lie down and read a good book."
"You should probably do that, you look on the verge of death."
"But what about the surveillance?" Mayumi argued weakly.
"They're not going anywhere. It's not like the little anomalies have the ability to cross large distances through unexplained means or anything."
Rei's apartment
Rei opened the door to her apartment with practiced ease. She would be concerned that her door was ajar, but that was how she left it so it wasn't an issue. Garbagius was stalking other haunts this time of the week so she didn't not need to worry about being accosted by him now either. So she stepped into her apartment and was immediately hit in the face with a banana cream pie. The mad cackling of her rival filled the usually silent apartment. A few thoughts filled her mind as the pie slid down her face. One, the pie was surprisingly delicious. She would like to get more if given the chance. Two, she would have to do laundry earlier this week thanks to the pie. Third and finally, the presence of her dread rival.
"So, you have struck after so long my rival. Truly this attack was a product of ingenious plotting and weeks of planning." Her rival made side eyes at something, most likely to distract her. She would not fall for such an ingenious trick. "But there is one thing we must settle here and now."
"Baka?"
"I have been informed by my therapist that it is important to set boundaries and that I should discuss such with you. While you undoubtedly have thousands of plots in motion I mount like to request that none of your assaults against me involve me consuming meat. Is this acceptable?" Her rival stared at her, undoubtedly maneuvering threads of plans already in motion, before giving her a thumbs up. "Good. Are there boundaries that you would wish to set?"
"Anta Baka?" Her rival cupped her chin in thought, before coming upon a realization. "Baka-Shinji!"
"You…. wish for me to include Pilot Ikari?" Why would that be? Rei was now very confused. Her rival's eyes filled with something strange as she shook her head violently. "You want me to not include him?" Her rival nodded vigorously. That made more sense, it was better for this to be between the two of them and no others. Her rival just wanted to cement it officially. "Then our compact is sealed. Before you go would you like some-" Suddenly the hairs on the back of Rei's neck stood up as all her senses screamed danger. She rolled out of the way, getting more pie on her clothes, dodging impalement from one of the Ishim that oddly have features similar to hers.
"Bakayanami!" The strange blue-haired Ishim hissed at her, her red eyes filled with what Rei believed to be hate.
"I am Rei Ayanami, yes. Why are you trying to kill me?" She doesn't recall ever meeting this Ishim, let alone wronging her to the point of attempted murder. "And if it would not be too much trouble, could we perhaps reschedule this assassination? I have much work to do in regards to cleaning my now dirty clothes." The Ishim didn't seem open to that, as she readies her lance for a throw before her rival descended on the Ishim.
"Anta Baka?!" Her rival screamed at the Ishim as their lances were locked in combat.
"Baka!" The Ishim all but growled, seemingly taking offense at something. Rei blinked, a rare occurrence for her, as she contemplated what to do in this situation. She came to the only logical conclusion as she approached the two as they were trading blows. She grabbed both, lifting them off the ground.
""Eh?"" They both let out a noise of confusion, seemingly bewildered at their sudden capture.
"Do not fight in my apartment." She went out the still-open front door and placed them on the ground. "Once you have ceased your combat you may return inside." She declared this with finality as she shut her front door, causing something to snap in some mechanism. She tried the door again and found it was stuck. "Troublesome. I will have to call a repairman." She considered that a not entirely immediate problem and began the process to clean her clothes first. If needed she could always escape out the window.
"I should purchase more detergent when I get the chance, I am running low." The sounds of combat continued outside as she retrieved her washboard. "I wonder why that Ishim has features similar to mine, yet is also Pilot Soryu?" Rei pondered it for a moment before deciding it probably wasn't relevant to vengeance. "Perhaps I should inform Commander Ikari of the attempt on my life? No, I shouldn't bother him. It is most likely an isolated incident. Who would want to bring harm to us who guard humanity against the Angels?"
"Do you ever wonder if we only exist because of terrible and contrived segues?"
"Kirishima, what the hell are you talking about?" General Taihou questioned incredulously. "You know what? Don't answer that, I have a feeling your insane response will cause my blood pressure to rise."
"Oh no! You have to watch your blood pressure, General!" Mana exclaimed with genuine concern.
"….. Thanks. Anyway, I've just reviewed your mission progress, or the lack thereof. You've literally made zero progress in getting close to Shinji Ikari!"
"It's not my fault! That Soryu girl has been cock blocking me!"
"Okay, never say that again. But that's irrelevant right now. I've just got word that the girl you've made friends with, Kotone Suzunami, has been minted as the Fourth Child. Switch your efforts over to her as of now."
"General! I don't swing that way!" Mana paused. "….. Or do I? Hmmmmmm. Well, she doesn't look half bad, and she's an excellent listener… I'm certainly learning things about myself today that I didn't know before."
"…Not what I meant. Use your friendship with her. You don't have to….. seduce her."
"Oh. Okay then!" Mana paused again remembering something. "So what should I do about the internationally renowned assassin I hired to kill Soryu?"
"The what you hired to what?!"
Tokyo-2 Hollywood-style Seedy Motel (voted seediest in Tokyo-2 three years running)
"My name is Yonson Jerald Valker." Yonson Jerald Valker began monologuing in his empty motel room for no discernible reason. "I'm the number one highest-paid military hitman in all the world. I'm held responsible for over fifteen hundred kills and am completely off all records in most countries. I've been hired today by a mystery woman, a pilot of sorts. She pilots some sort of….. death mech. All I know is she's paying me fifteen million, stone-cold cash, just to take down one thirteen-year-old girl. And with work like that, I'm not about to ask any questions."
"Anta Baka?" Yonson blinked as he turn to see a horde of Minisukas had snuck into his motel room. They were all brandishing their lances, menacingly.
"Oh no. The fortune teller warned me this would happen! Ahhhhhhhhhh!" He was drowned by the red tide, and he knew no more.
NERV Commander's office
"I'm going home." Ritsuko stated plainly.
"Doctor Akagi-" Gendo attempted to say but was cut off.
"No, shut up. I'm talking." Ritsuko half whispered, the bags under her eyes plain to see. "I haven't been home in weeks. I have been sustaining myself on cheap coffee and instant yakisoba like I was still in college just to make sure Unit-05 was completed, and I'm done. The UN work regulations state that I have been working for long enough that I cannot work anymore or you will be subject to an internal investigation, so I'm clocking out and going home."
"Doc-"
"Shush." Ritsuko looked ready to strangle Gendo, and not in the usual way. "I am going home and not leaving for four fucking days. You will not contact me unless a problem on the level of an Angel attack takes place. Am I clear?"
"… Very well Doctor Akagi, enjoy your time off." Ritsuko stared at Gendo's impassive face for a moment longer before storming off.
"Reminds me of when you and Yui had to do your thesis papers." Fuyutsuki chuckled.
"Don't remind me. Still, we have enough skilled personnel that her leave will not be noticed."
"Indeed. How fares your….. problem?"
"Adam's screams have not lessened, but I have grown used to them at this point. They are more a constant white noise at this point." Gendo stared at his right hand.
"I see. How did the old men take everything?"
"Better than expected. Their precious scenario is in tatters, so they are more lenient than they usually are."
"And ours, while battered, still stands. Even the oldest and toughest wall can be toppled if the foundation is shattered."
"Indeed. But a cornered animal is dangerous, so we need to tread with caution. Especially when we have an ant spider in our nest."
"A dangerous piece for sure, but a useful one if placed correctly."
"Here you go." Triple agent Ryoji Kaji handed the box to the Minisukas. "Kyoko Zeppelin Soryu's handwritten notes, as promised. So, no more ankle stabbing?" The Minisukas inspected their prize and found it was what they desired.
"Baka." The head Minisuka gave a thumbs up as they hauled their prize away. Kaji watched them leave his office before he slumped in his chair like a puppet relieved of its strings.
"Glad to get that over with, plate mail boots do not have good support." He took his time to light a cigarette, slowly breathing in the cancer stick. "I need a drink. I wonder if Katsuragi knows any good bars?"
"He will serve his purpose, perhaps he will grant us insight into what force is disrupting the old men."
"Are you certain there is a third party at play Ikari?"
"No, but I strongly suspect someone is making their life difficult, and I doubt they would be friendly with us either. The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend."
"True, but even an enemy is a tool to use if used correctly."
"Yes, but we must see this enemy first in order to use it. But it will have to slither out of the shadows at some point, and we will be prepared whenever it does."
Unit-02 Core
"P̴l̵e̸a̸s̵e̴ ̷s̵t̶o̷p̶ ̶t̶h̵r̸o̵w̵i̷n̶g̴ ̶m̶e̷t̶a̶p̵h̵y̶s̶i̷c̸a̴l̸ ̴b̶o̴o̵k̶s̵ ̷a̴t̸ ̷m̴e̵.̷"
"No! Leave you monster!" Kyoko threw another book at Enigma, who was more annoyed than harmed.
"I̸'̴m̵ ̶n̸o̵t̷ ̷a̷ ̶m̷o̶n̴s̴t̴e̵r̴.̵" Enigma pauses and cups his chin facsimile. "W̵e̶l̶l̸,̸ ̷a̸c̸t̷u̶a̴l̵l̸y̴ ̸I̵ ̵g̷u̵e̷s̴s̷ ̸I̴ ̷t̸e̵c̷h̶n̶i̵c̷a̸l̷l̸y̸ ̶c̸o̸u̶l̸d̷ ̴b̶e̵ ̵a̶ ̷m̵o̷n̵s̴t̶e̶r̶ ̸b̷y̶ ̵s̴o̸m̴e̵ ̶p̴o̴i̶n̸t̸ ̴o̸f̷ ̴v̸i̵e̵w̷.̷" Another book hit his head facsimile.
"Shut up and leave!"
"N̴o̸t̷ ̷u̷n̴t̶i̷l̸ ̸y̶o̴u̵ ̶s̴t̶o̴p̷ ̷t̶h̷r̷o̴w̶i̸n̴g̸ ̴y̶o̶u̸r̵ ̵p̵o̶r̵n̵ ̷b̸o̷o̴k̴s̷ ̷a̴t̵ ̷m̶e̵ ̶a̷n̷d̸ ̸c̶a̸l̸m̸l̴y̸ ̸c̷o̶n̷v̷e̵r̸s̶e̷ ̵w̸i̷t̵h̵ ̸m̸e̶.̸" Kyoko gasped in horror.
"They are not porn! They just contain tasteful depictions of lovemaking between characters in love! Is that so wrong?!"
"R̵i̵g̴h̷t̶ ̵o̶r̵ ̵w̴r̵o̷n̴g̷ ̷d̷o̵e̴s̵n̶'̷t̴ ̵m̸a̵t̸t̷e̶r̷ ̸w̶h̷e̶n̴ ̷t̵h̵e̵ ̷f̵i̷r̶s̶t̵ ̶t̸w̴e̸n̵t̴y̴ ̸p̸a̸g̶e̵s̴ ̸o̵f̸ ̸a̷ ̵b̵o̶o̵k̶ ̵c̷o̴n̵t̵a̷i̴n̸s̷ ̵t̷w̴o̶ ̶d̶r̷a̴g̷o̸n̷s̷ ̵d̶o̴i̷n̶g̷ ̸t̸h̷e̴ ̴h̷o̷r̷i̸z̵o̵n̶t̴a̵l̶ ̶l̶i̵m̷b̷o̶!̵"
"That's important to the plot! You see, Gragthor and Zheltean were born under two warring lineages during a time when love meant nothing to marriage and-" Enigma sighed despite lacking lungs. This was going to take a while.
Katsuragi Apartment
"I'm home." Shinji called out, exhaustion radiating from his body. Hurried footsteps drew closer to the entryway until Asuka emerged before him, wearing an apron.
"Shinji!" Asuka exclaimed, trying to hide her excitement from him and herself. "You're back! Did they finish poking you with all those useless contraptions?"
"Yeah. Everything's fine." Shinji took stock of her attire. "Making dinner?"
"Mmmhmmm. Wasn't sure if you'd been back, so I started on some fried rice. Want some?" Shinji's stomach growled at the thought of food.
"Please. I've barely eaten anything all day. A lot of the tests required an empty stomach." Asuka sighed as she poked his chest.
"Geez, and you're already skin and bones as is. If you get any thinner people might mistake you for some kind of urban legend monster. Come on, I'm just about done." She took his hand and dragged him to the table.
"Thanks, Asuka, I really appreciate it."
"Don't mention it. We Eva pilots need to have each other's backs!"
"O-of course." Shiki grumbled something from Shinji's breast pocket, and Shinji gave her an experimental pat on the head to reassure her. Shiki sank deeper into the pocket, trying to hide the extremely joyous reaction she was displaying. She was glad Leader had slipped away when they got back to the apartment, or she would undoubtedly suffer Katsuragi levels of teasing right now.
"I'm home!" Speak of the devil and she shall appear. "Smells good! What's cooking, good looking?" Things were returning to normal in the Katsuragi household, with no shadows looming over them for the time being. Just the sounds of laughter and the smell of beer.
It's come to my attention that Enigma's corrupted dialogue doesn't display properly for foreign readers who use a translator, so I will be transcribing them at the end of the chapter to ensure any who have trouble can understand. As such the dialogue will be transcribed in chronological order.
"Did you do as I asked?"
"Good, then it will only be a matter of time."
"Never underestimate human greed and stupidity Tabris. Now go, I have to go attempt diplomacy with that Kyoko woman again."
"Please stop throwing metaphysical books at me."
"I'm not a monster."
"Well, actually I guess I could technically be a monster by some point of view."
"Not until you stop throwing your porn books at me and calmly converse with me."
"Right or wrong doesn't matter when the first twenty pages of a book contains two dragons doing the horizontal limbo!"
Ending feels a bit meh to me but hopefully it sticks the landing. The assassin's monologue is a homage to something, if you get it then congratulations, you get my appreciation for getting the reference. So as I've mentioned before, I can find nothing regarding Nene, the game she was in, or her personality other than the fact she exists and that she has a teddy bear that may or may not have a ghost name Sandy in it, so she's a ditzy airhead here due to lack of canon material to draw from. Apologies to the Nene fans who actually got to play Evangelion Gaiden. Tune in next time for more misadventures. Until then, hope you enjoy, leave a review if you can, and have a pleasant day.