Author's Note

Song Lyrics from Imagine Dragons - Wrecked
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Additional Song: CHVRCHES - Asking For A Friend
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Whole Playlist:
/playlist?list=PLb-h0TgZRJZooJ-TPIjxWEFoYEnXi2vcl

"Hear me and rejoice. You have had the privilege of being saved by the Great Titan."

Oh how Luciana hated those words. "Saved." No one had been saved. All he brought had been death and destruction. That was all he ever brought along with him. Always. Every single time. And still his "children" talked like he was the messiah himself.

Her body was covered in dirt and bruises, her skin smeared with blood, some of which was hers and other which belonged to her people. Had belonged to her people. Most of them were long dead. They had lost their lives in the fight against the "Great Titan" and his minions, desperately trying to save as many people as they could. Sending them away in a rescue vessel in hope that they may escape his grasp. But look where it had gotten them.

She was crouched behind a huge chunk of debris. Right next to her lay the body of a former soldier whose light had long left his eyes. All around the ship, flames burnt. A reminder of the fierce battle that had been going on until a mere few minutes ago. It was a miracle the vessel was even still holding together at all. Not far she could see Heimdall. He was still alive, but badly wounded and she could see that even breathing caused him tremendous pain.

Luciana pushed herself up so she could spot what was happening at the front of what had once been the great hall, where Thor had finally accepted his position as Asgard's king not that long ago. Now his body was sprawled on the floor, defeated by the monster that had attacked them. The monster that picked him up like a broken toy, now that he was done with him. The monster that was now slowly making his way towards the second of Asgard's princes. The second prince who was still standing on his feet, surrounded by horror and destruction as he stared straight ahead at their enemy.

She knew what would follow. She had seen it, lived through the events countless times before. At one point she had stopped counting the amount of times she had repeated the same part of the timeline. Long forgotten was the day Luciana had first seen the madness the purple giant was causing. She wondered whether it had always hurt that much. Not the physical pain, but the emotional. Had the ache in her heart always been that strong? Or was it something that had slowly started to affect her over time?

"The Tesseract. Or your brother's head." she heard Thanos say. At one point in time Luciana had surely been surprised that Loki had taken the artifact from the castle's vault. But now she didn't even blink at the supposed revelation. After all it was natural of him to have done so. It was what was right. A simple act that ensured he would follow the way the timeline had dictated for him. One tiny decision that guaranteed the demise of more than half of his people, as well as his own.

"Kill away." Loki declared, devoid of emotion. If one believed the tone of his voice that was. Luciana knew his cold demeanor was fake though. One last ruse to try and trick the Mad Titan. Unfortunately, it didn't work. It never did. And as always the God of Mischief would falter at seeing his brother tortured, begrudingly handing over the blue cube after all.

What followed would be the last conversation the two brothers would ever have and she knew their words by heart.
"You really are the worst brother."
"I assure you, brother… The sun will shine on us again."

The same applied to what came after.
"We have a Hulk."
She heard the words and knew: The next instant the green guy would launch a surprise attack against Thanos. An attack which would be in vain. She didn't even need to look to know the outcome. The Hulk would lose, getting smashed into the ground, only to be saved by Heimdall at the last minute. The gatekeeper would send him to Earth with the last of his powers. An act he would be punished for severely. Stabbed through the heart by Thanos, he would pay with his life, right in front of Thor who could do nothing but watch in agony because he was chained to the ground.

"You're going to die for that!" the God of Thunder screamed, oblivious of the other tragedy that would soon befall them.
All the while, Luciana had scrambled to her feet. Once again she found herself at the same spot. Once again she would watch the horror unfold from the same place she always stood at, doing nothing. It wasn't that she couldn't do anything. No. Over time she had contemplated countless times on how she could interfere. There were countless possibilities on how she could change what would happen. But she never did. She wasn't allowed to, no matter how hard she wished for it. It couldn't happen.

"There are two more stones on Earth. Find them, my children, and bring them to me on Titan." Thanos ordered after having added the Space Stone to his golden gauntlet.
"Father, we will not fail you."

This was Loki's cue. Stepping out of the Shadows, he was about to make a suggestion to the Mad Titan. "If I might interject. If you're going to Earth, you might want a guide. I do have a bit of experience in that arena."
"If you consider failure, experience."
"I consider experience, experience. Almighty Thanos… I, Loki, prince of Asgard…" he started, hesitating before his next words. "Odinson…"
She always wondered why it had to be during this moment. Why was it that only now he realized who he truly was and that he indeed had always belonged to the people that had taken him in a long time ago.

"the rightful king of Jotunheim…"

It hurt her to hear it.

"God of Mischief…"

It hurt her to see that look he gave his brother.

"do hereby pledge to you…"

And it hurt her to see the look he gave her.

"my undying fidelity."

Every cycle his eyes found hers during this moment and it was strange to her. Even before, when she hadn't cared about what would happen to him. When they had been on bad terms. At a time their friendship had long gone cold and distant. When there had been no reason as to why he should have even spared her a single glance. He had always looked at her. At first it had irritated her, because she hadn't understood. But over time that feeling of annoyance had changed to something painful. His gaze now hurt her. Those blue eyes caused an ache in her heart, that had grown worse with every loop. And by now she knew the reason why. She knew why now the stabbing pain was so severe, she thought her heart would shatter under it any second.
She didn't want to see it. She didn't want to watch the next few moments. She had seen them so often, wouldn't it be alright if she turned her head away just this one time?

Loki's heart hammered in his chest. He knew what he was about to do would be risky at best, suicidal if it failed. But he had to try. What other choice did he have? All remaining soldiers had been killed, his brother had been rendered immobile, the Hulk was gone, Heimdall dead. It was their last shot. He was their last shot.
No. That wasn't quite right. There was still one other person.
Luciana.

He turned his head towards where she stood. She looked tattered and bruised, covered in blood. So much blood, that he could only pray it wasn't all her own. He had shielded her from the first big explosion caused by the cannon belonging to the Mad Titan's spaceship. But as the battle had gone on he had soon been unable to protect her. Even if he had tried, she wouldn't have wanted it. Luciana had fought bravely against their enemies and he was sure that not half as many of Asgard's citizens would have managed to escape via the rescue vessel had she not been there.

His gaze found her bright emerald eyes that looked at him with worry and fear. He could see pain and sadness inside them and briefly he wondered whether she knew what he planned on doing.
No, she couldn't, he shook the thought away. There was no way she would just stand there if she did. She would interfere, yell at him for being so reckless, call him an idiot for even thinking of such a stupid idea. That's the kind of person she was and the thought almost brought a smile to his lips.

It was strange. Here he was, about to attack the strongest foe the nine realms had ever seen before, and all he could do was stare at this woman and think how truly beautiful she was, inside and out. Even covered in dirt and blood he thought she was glowing. And Loki wondered when it had first begun. When had he first noticed the light that radiated from her? When had she become so important to him?
He couldn't tell, no matter how hard he wrecked his brain. Had there even ever been a deciding point? To the him now it felt so natural. Maybe it had always been like that, from the beginning.

Why had he ever chased after a stupid throne in the first place? Why hadn't he noticed it earlier? That all this time, what he really wanted had been next to him from the start.
Luciana.
His Luciana. His best friend. His partner in crime since childhood. His ally. His light.
The woman he loved. More than anything.
Which was why there was no way he would let Thanos lay even one more finger on her. He wouldn't let her die in a place like this, he wouldn't allow it. Even if it meant that she might had to build up a new place for Asgard without him.

"Lucy…"

At the sound of her name, Luciana's head snapped back up. Why was he calling her name right now? He had never done so before. The thing he was supposed to do next was-

"I love you."

Softly and ever so gently he had spoken the words. His voice was so faint, she almost thought she had imagined it. Yet her racing heart told her she hadn't. Wide-eyed, Luciana stared ahead, stared at the scene unfolding in front of her. She hadn't wanted to see it, but now she was forced to. It wasn't fair. How could she have looked away after hearing him say those words? Now she had to watch.

Watch his attempt at stabbing Thanos.
Watch the Mad Titan effortlessly stop his attack with the powers of the Space Stone, Loki himself had handed him.
Watch him grab the God of Mischief's wrist, taunting him for being so foolish.
Watch the dagger clatter to the ground with a hollow metallic ring.
Watch the monster grab Loki by his throat.
Watch him struggle under the iron grasp, gasping for air.
Watch him choke out his last words.
Watch Thanos snap Loki's neck, his bones cracking so horridly that the sound haunted her in her nightmares.
Watch the body of the man she loved getting dropped on the floor like trash.

She knew it would hurt. She knew this time it would hurt more than the previous cycles. It always did. For a reason long known to her the pain had always kept piling up. And she had prepared herself for that.
But nothing could have prepared her for the agonizing pain that took over her chest the moment Loki's bones had cracked. With them her heart had cracked too, splintered into a million pieces.

For a second the room seemed to spin around her. It was like someone had stolen away the ground under her feet and for a moment she thought she would faint. Luciana had hoped she would faint, as it would have stopped the pain - at least for a tiny bit. She wanted to scream her lungs out, but no sound came out of her throat.

Frozen in place, she could do nothing as Thanos and his children teleported away, right after the Mad Titan had initiated the complete annihilation of what was left of their once so grandiose spaceship. With them leaving, Thor was freed from his confinement. Like a stone, he fell to the ground. But even though he was wounded, he crawled his way over to his brother's body. Luciana herself somehow managed to stagger her way there as well. However, once she stood in front of Loki's lifeless corpse, her feet gave out under her and she sank to the ground. Just like the God of Thunder, she leaned over him, her fingers clawing into the leather over his chest. But the heart under it was no longer beating. No matter how hard she wished for it, he wouldn't get up from the ground again. A tiny piece of her heart was still hoping he would appear from behind them, erasing the illusion and revealing this to be nothing more than another fake death. But she knew this wasn't the case. If anyone had to know, it was her.

Luciana gritted her teeth as the tears rolled down her cheeks, steadily falling on his body. She wanted this to be over. She wanted to go back, back to the start, to a point in time where he was still alive. Reliving the past would be better than having to go on living on this part of the timeline. A timeline without him.
However, she knew that she couldn't. Not yet. She still wasn't done. She would have to go on.
"How dare you…" she mumbled between ragged breaths. "How dare you say those words to me right before…"
Opposite her, Thor's hands balled into fists. He was in as much pain as she was, but still his agony seemed to grow worse upon hearing her words.
"How do you expect me to go on now?" she cried. "It's not fair, Loki. It's not fair…"

Around them the purple fire of the Power Stone engulfed more and more of the ship and soon everything would explode. Luciana knew that. And yet she couldn't find it in herself to move. She couldn't leave his body. Instead, she awaited the incoming shockwave. She almost looked forward to the numbing pain as it would end her suffering. The smoke made her dizzy and she could feel her consciousness gradually fading away. Soon it would be over. With her last strength she leaned down. Gently brushing a strand of his black hair away, she placed a kiss on his forehead, even though he could no longer feel it. Gradually everything around her started to blur and she closed her eyes, welcoming the numb feeling that took over her body. The last thing she sensed was somebody forcingly grabbing her body and then everything went dark.

You didn't even give me the chance to say it back…

Tell me, how am I supposed to move on?