I'm An SCP Now?

by Mace sheperd

An autistic anime/ SCP mythos fan who is also a bundle of frayed nerves and poor social skills, finds himself in the SCP universe with the powers of Anime's strongest hero! Now he has to navigate his new life as one of the strongest SCPs while keeping his social anxiety in check OC SI x Female SCP 049

3. Containment Breach Part 1

Ahoy Taters welcome to Chapter three Of I'm an SCP now?.

Let me state that when I started writing this chapter I did not know that Dr Bright was director of Site 19, so I just decided to make it so that he got demoted after pulling enough of his antics.

Edit 1: I couldn't find that many cool SCPs at Site 83 so I asked a friend of mine for advice and he told me that The SCP Mythos has no definite canon and that I could move any SCP I want to Site 83.

Now onto the reviews!

From Zet4

sorry but this is getting too strange for me. that original SCP, i mean. a complete mishmash of reference that kinda hard to like and using boxer instead of just innate ability? that kind of thing usually in comedy story or other story known for being ridiculous, but it's strange for this fic...ok, it's still strange in any story, but you should get what i mean.

also that doctor should be fired, being downgraded in ranks, or monitored. he almost make containment breach, it would be NOT logical if he just run free without any warning at the very least.

Well I'm sorry my story wasn't for you, to address your points Dr Bright has gotten away with just as bad if not worse shit in the mythos.

I mean come on, Dr Bright has pulled numerous pranks that have killed foundation personnel and has remained site director.

And you obviously weren't paying close enough attention as for my original SCP, SCP 11632 I stated TWICE that his boxers are an ORGANIC part of his body and thus his powers DO come from innate ability as his boxers which allow him to transform are like an organ that humans don't have.

Next time pay more attention.

Also I'm going to state here and now that most of my original SCPs are going to be pretty outlandish and absurd, I'm not that good at writing in a traditional horror format.

I am however an expert at writing absurdism, so that's the direction most of my original SCPs have gone.

From Austhin H7.

Now you have my attention, good scp fanfic are rare, and this one is interesting and really funny, i like the interaction with his doc and the other scp, and nailed Dr. Bright personality, just waiting for the other scp interaction, i particularly like how he lost himself in adrenaline and forgot his anxiety for a moment, but my favorite in scp is, and will always be the report/scp document, although i find his report lacking but good enough

Thanks for the chap and keep the good work pal

Thank you sir for your kind review, I'm glad you found parts of my story funny and that you think I did a good job portraying Dr Bright.

I admit I couldn't have done the latter without a friend of mine helping me.

I'm sorry about the lacking SCP document, I've never written anything on the SCP Wiki so ch 2 was my first time attempting to write SCP documents.

LOCATION: The Botanical Wing of SITE 83, ALABAMA.

TIME: 2:15AM

We come upon a place similar to Site 19, looking like someone made mashed potatoes out of a handful of prisons and military bases.

Armed guards patrolling the perimeter, Armed guards manning its towers which lined the corners of its massive barbed wire fences where if any D class tried to scale them they would surely collapse from exhaustion before reaching the top (if they didn't get shot first) .

We however zoom past all of that and go to a room deep within, The Botanical wing.

This section of Site 83 looked like it came straight out of the flower section at Wal-Mart or Lowes.

With various tubs and gorges full of plants in all the colors of the rainbow.

We zoom into a particular individual, not a human but an unusually large stick bug.

The stick bug was the same color as a dead leaf and was one foot eight inches long.

Besides his unusual size, other unusual features included the fact that he had a green sap like ooze reeking of dung leaking out of his left eye, the ooze evaporating into the air before it could touch the ground.

The giant stick bug was also on its back while its six limbs contorted and bent in ways that even a stick bug's limbs weren't meant too, making sounds akin to dried spaghetti noodles being broken.

A red headed caucasian young adult in his early twenties kneeled over the obviously in pain Stick bug and rubbed its stomach gently "Don't worry SCP 5053 I've called Dr Andrews, he should be in here any minute he should be-"

The now named SCP 5053 gasped and whimpered "Leave-" *whimpers* "Mee- please-" *Gasps as its exoskeleton cracks open* "Save-" *deep breaths* "Yourself! The Hashabor! Inside me!"

Just then the door to the botanical wing bursted open and an African American man in his late fifties who had a mutton chops beard and glasses rushed in "Junior Researcher Muffin, I'm here what's wrong with SCP 5053?"

The now named Junior researcher Muffin answered "I don't know, but it must be related to the Hashabor he's talked about before, my theory is he may be po-"

"I'm sooorrreee-" wheezed SCP 5053 before he choked out "It's too late"

His exoskeleton gained as many cracks as a tablet that had been thrown off a table and onto a floor, green light and goo seeped out of the cracks before there was a sound akin to a bomb going off.

Green light and green goo was sent across the botanical gardens, with the green light setting the flowers ablaze and the green goo melting the flowers like warm water melts sugar.

"RAAAAAGH FUCK FUCK The pain make it stop!" Cried out Junior researcher muffin who had lost both his legs, sustained third degree burns on sixty three percent of what remained of his body and on top of all that the green goo was eating away at what was left.

Dr Andrews cursed "Holy SHIT!" as he now had a third degree burn covering the whole upper half of his left arm, the pain combined with seeing the state his junior researcher was in, made him realize that things had quickly gone sideways.

And that was proven true when he saw the monster that SCP 5053 described to him two weeks ago, now standing amid the burnt shattered remains of SCP 5053.

The monster was two feet eleven inches long, resembling a giant ladybug, it had sixteen eyes and twelve knife like legs as well as a pair of butterfly wings.

The newborn beast opened its mandibles and let out a screech that sounded like the buzz of a hundred mosquitoes, rolled up with the chirping of fifty crickets and the roar of eleven lions and the sound of a dozen men drowning.

Right after that The Botanical wing, no, all of Site 83 began to shake from an Earthquake.

Dr Andrews pushed himself up into a crouched position, tripped and fell from the whole building shaking and then successfully got up on his second attempt and reached for his mobile radio "This is Dr Andrews, mobilize all MTF on site! Containment breach imminent! Containment breach-"

*Rumble rumble crack crack!* Cracks the size of RV's opened up in the floor of the botanical wing, and out of the cracks emerged hundreds of earthworms, roaches, centipedes, beetles, ants, grasshoppers and termites.

Dr Andrews could only scream in horror as a horde of insects of biblical proportions swarmed over him.

And once they did, they crawled EVERYWHERE!

The good doctor's eyes burst like a sunny side up egg as dung beetles gorged themselves on the jelly orbs as if they were dung.

The Good Doctor choked, gagged and desperately tried to throw up as ants and grasshoppers crawled into his mouth, with the ants gorging themselves on his tongue like it was a Golden Corral while the grasshoppers crawled down his windpipe into his lungs to feast there.

The doctor threw up from having his gag reflex tripped, but alas none of the vomit made it out and the vomit only became more food for the bugs endless gluttony.

To his ever growing horror he felt earthworms, their slimy undulating bodies crawling up his urethra and eating his manhood from the inside.

Never in his worst nightmares did Dr Owen Andrews think he would die like this.

And little did he know, the same chaos was happening across Site 83…

MEANWHILE AT SITE 19 FRANCE!

WE SWITCH TO PATRICK'S POV!

Time: 9:15AM (FRANCE TIME ZONE)

Let me start off by saying that I had a really good night sleep last night, so Thank You Dr Flukes for getting me my pills.

My morning routine as a contained SCP wasn't that much different from my morning routine as a normal person back in my old life.

I got up, drank coffee with extra milk and extra sugar, had breakfast, either waffles or a breakfast burrito.

The differences being that I didn't make my coffee and breakfast myself having to order it via a menu given to compliant humanoid SCPs, that I had to knock on my cell door to let the guards know when I got up, and that I was not allowed access to a cellphone or computer of any kind.

So I couldn't do my usual internet browsing or fanfiction Writing that I liked to do in the morning.

Instead after breakfast I spent time shooting the breeze with Dr Flukes and Dr Bright, they were both funny especially Dr Bright.

And of course I stuttered a lot and sounded like a nervous wreck while doing so (Why must I always be so stupid?!)

"D-Dr Fl-Flukes, if it's not t-to much to ask, c-can I get a TV in my cell that has access to-to-to Amazon pr-prime and N-Netflix? I I d-don't want to sound ungrateful-f-ful I j-just miss some things from my old life is all"

Yep, that was me, stuttering and stumbling, trying to appear as submissive and grateful as possible as I asked Dr Flukes for some entertainment material.

Dr Flukes, Dr Bright and I were in Site 19's breakroom, I had been allowed limited movement across the site as well as entertainment in the form of reading materials.

But alas reading materials could only cover so much, as I longed to watch my favorite anime such as My Hero Academia, and Pokemon again as well as my favorite childhood cartoon Spongebob.

Dr Flukes pursed his lip "Don't get me wrong SCP 9000, you've been really cooperative one of the most cooperative SCPs I've had the pleasure of working with in my career but that's still asking for a bit much too soon.

You're basically asking for us to allocate a portion of Site 19's budget, no matter how small to pay for your entertainment"

I bowed my head and curled up into a ball in my seat "I'm sorry so sorry s-sir" I whimpered out.

Dr Bright then slung his arm around my shoulder "Hey nice going Flukes you made the quiet kid Glum! Do you want him to shoot up the site?"

My head shot up so fast that if I didn't have Saitama's strength and durability I would have gotten whiplash "Dr Bright s-s-sir was that-w-was that a…

Quiet kid j-joke"

Dr Bright gave me a pearly grin "You betcha! If a second golden rule is written I think it should be don't provoke the quiet ones! Just look at our dearly departed friend SCP 096!"

I despite my best efforts found my lips curl into a smile and I let out a chuckle "Hahahaha Dr Bright th-thanks…

For the laugh haha"

Dr Bright slapped my back "You're welcome 9000 and I'll make you a deal, if the Site director doesn't grant you your own Amazon Prime and Netflix account I'll allow you access to mine, since I like you"

I felt my chest heat up like a sock stuffed with rice in the microwave "Y-you'd really d-do that s-sir? Th-thank y-you!"

I brought Dr Bright into a hug, it was rare that people who were not family were nice to me!

Dr Bright wheezed "Whoa easy there tiger you're gonna break my ribs"

I immediately let go "S S sorry Sir! I'm an idiot!"

Dr Bright laughed "No you're not! You're just eager! And again there's no need to call me sir, this isn't boot camp and I'm not a drill instructor who's going to scream at you if you say one thing wrong"

I let out a trio of shivers as I unwillingly remembered the time my mother put me in the youth group the young marines when I was eleven.

A bald over six foot tall man towering over my barely four foot tall eleven year old self and screaming at me until my ears rang and I cried like a newborn.

I must have had a haunted look on my face from the flashback because Dr Bright put his hands on my shoulders "SCP 9000 are you alright? SCP 9000 what's wrong?"

"Uh huh huuuuh" I moaned before giving myself a harsh slap "S-sorry, I have had…

A real negative experience with drill instructors"

Dr Bright frowned "I can tell, you looked like you caught SCP 106 masturbating.

You don't strike me as someone who served in the military so when did this event happen?"

I let out a gasp and a duo of chuckles at Dr Bright's comparison before I shook my head "I don't…

I w-would rather not dis-discuss it n-now sir if it's alright with you"

Dr Bright nodded "Well when you do, I'm here for you"

"And so am I" said Dr Flukes.

Dr Bright then gained a grin on his face "Come with me, I know something that can cheer you up and make you forget about that awful memory!"

I followed Dr Bright to the back left side of the breakroom where there was a familiar vending machine that had a keyboard and a digital screen with pictures of coffee cups on it.

Dr Bright presented the machine as if he was a magician's assistant introducing their magician boss "SCP 9000 I present to you SCP 294! The ultimate coffee vending machine!"

I gasped as my mind began pulling up the information I read about this SCP on the wiki 'SCP 294! The coffee vending machine that can vend anything as a liquid! From acid to the spinal fluid of extinct animals to music itself!'

Of course I once again couldn't let my fourth wall knowledge show, it must have been a primitive survival instinct that was keeping my fourth wall knowledge in check.

Nonetheless I wagged both my fists and went "Oooooh I can't believe it! I get to see another SCP!"

Dr Bright chuckled "You most certainly have the enthusiasm of a Junior Researcher SCP 9000.

SCP 294 here allows anyone who inputs fifty cents US currency to vend a liquid of their choice.

You can buy anything from this machine and I do mean anything! Coffee? Boring but yes!

Soda? That's more like it and yes!

A Tyrannosaurus Rex's spinal fluid? Eeeww but yes!

Your favorite cartoon's theme song? Why yes my good sir! Go ahead and give it a try" The doctor slapped my hand and when he pulled his hand away I now had two quarters in my hand.

I chuckled "Y-y-you're g-going to let me use it? Really?"

Dr Bright nodded "You betcha! Gotta keep the entertainment going somehow!" Before he did a stage whisper "And I always love finding ways to piss off those assholes who made that infernal list"

"List?" I questioned before my eyes widened as the memory 'Things Dr Bright isn't allowed to do at The Foundation' flashed through my mind.

Dr Bright said "I'll tell you about it later! Now have a go!"

I smiled "Th Th thank you Sir-sir" before walking up to the anomalous coffee machine and inserting the two quarters into it *Clink clink*.

Th machine gave a beep that reminded me of my aunt's washing machine before it's screen flashed "Please input your desired drink"

I paused and scratched the side of my bald head…

Then smiled "Ahh I know" I then typed on the keyboard "A cup of Spongebob Squarepants opening theme"

The machine then made a whirring sound, akin to the sound a normal vending machine makes when it dispenses snacks, before it dispensed a paper cup that was yellow with green spots and had Spongebob's face on it.

*Brooo brr brooo* The machine then dispensed a clear liquid that had yellow sparkles in it into the cup.

Once the cup was full I gently took it off the machine "Coooool! Is this r-really m-m-my favorite car-cartoon theme song in liquid form?"

I turned to Dr Bright "Thank you S-sir for allowing me to u-use SCP 294-Four uhhh what should we do n-n-now?"

Dr Bright flashed his teeth, his grin taking on the appearance of a monkey planning to steal a woman's bikini top (Don't know why that euphemism crossed my mind) "Now my dear SCP 9000 we wait for a sucker!"

As if God was on our side, a man of asian heritage who appeared to be around my age entered the breakroom.

Dr Bright took the cup from my grasp and strolled over to the man "Junior researcher williams! You look parched! Here, have a drink on the house!"

The junior researcher's eyes widened in an "Oh shit" gesture "uh no thanks Dr Bright I'm good I just had a pepsi to-"

"Oh I insist" said Dr Bright before he slammed the cup into the junior researcher's mouth.

*Sput sput spittew* Junior researcher Williams coughed and spitted out some of the drink, as some of the sparkling liquid ran down his chin.

But he must have swallowed some of it for he yelled "Dr Bright you son of a bitch! I suddenly have the urge to take my pants off and I know it's your fault!"

Which he then proceeded to do thus revealing he was wearing Betty boop boxers before he began to flop on the floor like a fish.

"Heeeelp! Dr Bright is making me dance like an OD'd sailor!"

I pursed my lips together in an attempt to stop myself from laughing at the poor bastard's misfortune.

'After all I too once lost my pants in front of everyone, back in elementary school, so I know how embarrassing it can be'

Alas I only succeeded in turning my laughter into a sound akin to a pelican being strangled before I couldn't take it anymore "Bwahahaha Dr Bright Hahaha! He looks so ridiculous! Like a comedy act out of Spongebob!"

Addressing our shared victim I doubled over in laughter "Oh god hahaha I'm sorry Sir! It's just…

Dr Bright is Dr Bright!"

Junior Researcher williams who was still in his betty boop boxers flopping like a fish rolled his eyes "I know" he groaned.

Dr Flukes let out his own chuckle and grabbed Dr Bright's shoulder "While I do enjoy this prank, If I get wrapped up in your punishment for this, I am SOOO going to feed your porn stash to SCP 682"

Dr Bright fake cried "NOOOO, take everything but Brain jacker! She's the ultimate waifu being able to handle the dick of a giant horse monster!"

I gasped "You've watched Shoujo senki Brain jacker Dr Bright?!"

Once I felt everyone's eyes on me I let out a squeak and covered my face with my cape "F-F-forge said anything!"

Dr Bright slung his arm over my shoulder "A fellow hentai Connoiseur! I like you even more SCP 9000! Hey you promise to protect my porn stash from SCP 682 if Dr Flukes tries to feed it to him right?"

I hesitantly removed my cape enough to peak out one eye, but before I could give an answer, the automatic door to the break room opened and in entered Dr Sherman.

The greying haired man took one look at the still flopping pantless junior researcher Williams, the latter blushing and greeting "Hello Dr sherman sir!"

Dr Sherman let out a deadpan sigh akin to a camel getting punched in the throat by Rocky Balboa "I should be surprised but I'm not"

Dr Flukes grinned "Lemme guess, Lover boy will get to see his crush again?"

"Gaahh pl-pl-please d-d-don't t-tease meeee!" I squeaked/ screeched as I once again hid my face under my cape.

I couldn't see it, but I got the distinct impression that Dr Sherman was rolling his eyes as he let out another sigh before he spoke in a voice that screamed he needed a two day nap plus a five hour energy "Don't even joke about that, from what I've gathered about SCP 9000's power, him and SCP 049 getting together and siring offspring could produce an XK class end of the world scenario.

But to answer your question…

Yes, the site director has authorized SCP 049 to once again be allowed to experiment with D class.

She has already created a new instance of SCP 049 2.

As well as a new "cure" out of the sample of SCP 9000's blood we allowed her to keep.

She however refuses to proceed any further unless her "Favorite patient" is there to witness the "fruits of their shared labor" as she puts it"

(Dr Sherman both said Favorite patient and fruits of their shared labor with air quotes)

I bit my lower lip and grinded my index and middle fingers against my thumb to keep myself from saying something I'll regret to Dr Sherman.

'SCP 049 has a good heart! I know she does!' I thought ' You're just to narrow minded and bigoted to see it!'

Dr Flukes made a waving gesture with his left hand and said "Well lead the way Dr Sherman"

At that moment Dr Bright and I's victim yelled "Wait what about me?!"

Dr Bright chimed "Oh you'll be fine once you piss the liquid out"

I who had taken the cape off my face at this point gave a guilty expression towards Junior researcher Williams "S S sorry s-sir" as I exited the break room with Drs Bright, Flukes and Sherman.

After that it was a short walk to the lab that I did my first meeting with SCP 049 in yesterday.

Upon entering the lab I was mentally greeted with the feeling of familiarity I got upon entering a place I've been to before, it was a comfortable feeling that came with my Autism that sought out comfort in routine.

'Same sandpaper like floors, sand plush steel blue dentist chair, same line lights lighting up the room, same cabinet and-'

"Gaaaaaahhh Holy SHIIITT!" I screamed like a cross between an alcoholic abusive father and a little girl, as a guy in orange pants, who's shirtless body allowed me to see how his torso was crudely sewn shut after being cut open-

Charged me while bearing his teeth like a wolf and proceeded to clamp his jaws down on my right hand.

*CRAACK!* Only for his teeth to shatter like glass.

I blinked "Oh yeah I'm white Saitama now, zombies can't hurt me"

I then heard a familiar female voice with a french accent cry out "How shameful!" Before a familiar feminine hand covered in a black glove grabbed the now toothless zombie (who even after losing his teeth was still trying to bite me) and pulled him off me.

I gasped when I saw SCP 049 in front of me and I could feel my heart rate which was just beginning to calm down from the earlier jumpscare now resuming it's marathon as I could once again drink in her figure.

'Her robe looks like it's ready to burst any moment now! Her clothes must be anomalous in how they can be so tight yet contain her big boobs!'

Yes, I was a closet pervert, you probably already guessed that by Dr Bright dubbing me a "Hentai Connoiseur" though.

SCP 049 pulled on her zombie's ear "I am ashamed of you! I know my imperfect cure makes you irritable but that gives you no right to attack ye old gentleman who has provided you the source of your salvation! I don't tolerate unruly patients you hear?"

From the glass window at the back of the room (Where Drs Bright, Flukes, and Sherman were observing) I could see Dr Sherman rolling his eyes while Dr Bright slapped his knee and roared from laughter and Dr Flukes chuckled.

Anyways when the zombie still continued to resist, SCP 049 pinned its front to the counter with one hand while she pulled a vial containing a translucent green liquid out of her bag with the other.

Injecting the translucent green liquid into the zombie, it began to demonstrate signs of drowsiness.

The zombie swayed side to side, stumbling three steps to the left, which gave me flashbacks of a drunk Ukrainian I saw on World's Dumbest.

I spoke my voice a whimper " h-h-h hi SCP 0-f-for-tee-tee nine-nine, it's n-nice to see you again"

I was so wracked with anxiety my voice might as well have been mute, with the anxiety being a metaphorical mugger holding a gun to my voices head.

SCP 049 looked at me and her yellow eyes immediately shone with concern "Oh dear you poor thing your voice! Do you have laryngitis? I couldn't make out a single word you said"

She reached into her bag and pulled out a popsicle stick and an otoscope "I dearly apologize for ye old unruly patient Monsieur Panacea, I shall take better care in medicating them so you don't get scared or worse hurt next time.

Now open and say ahh Monsieur Panacea"

I let out a short screech "Ahh" that would have been right at home on a monkey and waved my hands like an anime harem protagonist "No No no I don't have laryngitis SCP 049! It's just that-" *Gasps!* Realizing that I was shouting, I covered my mouth as my face heated up.

Nonetheless I forced myself to continue my explanation no matter how shameful admitting the truth made me feel "Y-Y-Y-you're v-v-verr-reeee beauti-ti-f-ful, and I- I'MADORK!"

Again I shouted the last part.

SCP 049 stared at me for five seconds that felt like twenty seconds to me before her yellow eyes glowed like honey and she chuckled, her laughter akin to the beautiful harmony of a Classical orchestra "Monsieur once again you flatter me too much, I am a simple doctor and I am much much to old for a young lad such as yourself.

I am old enough to be one of your medieval ancestors, so please Monsieur find someone closer to your own age."

I felt my heart wince as if it got punched in its own gut by one of my childhood bullies.

I vaguely heard Dr Bright say "Ow Chihuahua that SCP is a heartbreaker!"

My vision began to blur 'My eyes are tearing up' I realized.

' NO! Don't you dare cry in front of SCP 049, and in front of Dr Bright! You were a crybaby loser your entire life before! Now you're a white version of Saitama and can be so much more! Suck it up!'

SCP 049's voice broke through my anger and sad daze "Are you alright Monsieur?"

Angrily wiping the wetness out of my eyes I looked at her and saw her yellow eyes full of concern 'Now I've made the most beautiful SCP upset with my stupidity, way to go asshole'

"Yes" I lied "Do you- I was t-told to come here-here be-cause you made…

A new medicine out of my blood?"

SCP 049 pressed the issue "Monsieur, please if I upset you let me know.

All I was trying to say was that you should look for someone closer to your own age, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings"

I bit my lower lip, unnecessarily hard as I flinched from the jolt of pain *Sigh* "It's okay, just please SCP 049…

If you w-want to h-h-help…" *shakes and shivers* "showing me the medicine will cheer me up-up"

SCP 049 nodded "If you insist, anything for my favorite patient"

She reached into her bag and pulled out another syringe loaded with another vial, this vial full of a dark purple (on the verge of black) liquid.

Her voice took on a chipper tone when her eyes gazed upon it "Behold! The results of our labor! Watch as it performs miracles before your very eyes!"

The drugged zombie was now drunkenly stumbling back towards us and SCP 049 grabbed it by its left arm and injected her needle into its left bicep.

Sure enough, the zombie (Which I knew was an instance of SCP 049 2) began to transform, his grey skin turning a light caucasian starting from his arm and going from there.

His grey stringy cobweb like hair became luscious golden locks and his dull cataract like eyes became clear and blue, the crude stitches on his chest and stomach flaked off like a series of scabs.

The man blinked, "What the fuck did you do to me you french pig?!" Yelled the man who I now realized had a swastika shaped scar the size of a quarter above his left brow.

Usually I would be terrified and cowering right now in the presence of an angry man who was taller then me, especially one who I could safely assume was a convicted killer judging by him being a D class, shouting really loudly (Loud noises easily gave me sensory overload)

But there were a few things I hated most of all, racists/ nazis and people threatening/ insulting those I care for.

SCP 049 (who had a stunned and hurt look on her face) and while avoiding eye contact had just began to say "Monsieur D class I assure you-"

I grabbed the D class by his golden hair and yanked HARD.

*Riiiip!* Blood and a handful of hair covered my gloved hand, along with maybe a penny of skin, as the D class was tossed to the floor by my pull.

"Gaaah fuck fuck what was that for?!" Cried the D class.

I yelled "I w-won't tolerate racist f-fucks showcasing their stupidity in front of me!" I raised my foot and placing it on his chest began to apply some pressure "N-Now apologize to SCP 049! She cured you, she didn't-" *shakes and takes a deep breath* "SHE DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE CALLED THAT AWFUL SLUR YOU NAZI FUCK!"

"Monsiuer Panacea that's enough!" Cried out SCP 049, who soon placed her hand on my shoulder.

Realizing that I was being touched by my dream girl, my anger began to cool down like someone tossed eleven ice cubes into a pot of boiling sphaghetti.

Still shaking I looked SCP 049 in the eye and said "B B B But he-h-he called you…" I wasn't able to finish my sentence as I saw the disappointment in her eyes and now a whole whirlwind of emotions were waging a civil war in my brain.

Anger and hate at the Nazi for insulting SCP 049.

Sadness, despair, heartbreak for her showing no interest in me.

And hatred at myself at the possibility that I let someone else down by disappointing her somehow.

SCP 049 must have sensed my turmoil because her voice dropped and became like that of a mothers as she wrapped her arms around my head and soon I found my bald head leaning against her bigger than coconuts and soft as marshmallows breasts.

"Monsieur Panacea, do you think I haven't dealt with unruly patients before? I'm centuries old, I've been called worse then a french pig.

I don't need you to protect me, though I sincerely appreciate how much you care for me, it warms my heart.

It's nice to have a friend again after so long.

But please don't hurt my patients, they're under my care and I have to abide by the oath, I shall do no harm"

Meanwhile my face was going nuclear and my heart felt like it was going to quit on me any minute 'Holy shit! This is the closest I've ever been to a girl's boobs!' I thought as I subconsciously nuzzled my face into her breasts.

Well that was what my perverted side was doing, I allowed a small smile to cross my face 'Her hug- it's so warm and nurturing, like a mama bear's and she is so kind even to those who don't deserve it'

I could vaguely hear a *ba dump ba dump* through the leather skin of SCP 049's robes, I let out a dreamy sigh 'Her heartbeat, I could fall asleep right here and now to it, could- could one day her heart and our hearts beat for each other?'

I lifted my face up and looked her in the eyes "I'm-I'm s-sorry for my r-r-rashness SCP 049, th-thank you for you kn-know being there for me.

Do you-" *takes a deep breath*

"Do you w-w-w-wish to-t-to treat your patient now?"

SCP 049 smiled with her eyes "He might get unruly so gently hold him still so I can sedate him alright?"

SHORT TIMESKIP!

To summarize what happened.

The D class hurled a lot of slurs and profanity at SCP 049 and me, but SCP 049 got him patched up, applying an ointment to the area where I tore off his hair and some skin from before wrapping it in bandages.

I was really tempted to hurt him again, but every time I felt the urge to lash out I focused on SCP 049's words and made myself calm down and remain calm for her.

Once the Nazi Bastard was patched up, Dr Flukes addressed me over the intercom, ordering me to restrain SCP 049 so guards could retrieve the D class.

Well if you've been paying attention you know that I was a nervous wreck and remorseful about having to restrain SCP 049, but she was once again understanding, telling me that I was "The gentlest person she met in this garbage dump of science denial"

After the D class was retrieved by a guard, yet another guard pushed in another D class this one an African american (or African french) woman restrained to a wheelchair.

Said woman had hair that was done in a bun and shaved and pierced eyebrows and an X like scar on her lip.

As well as a small body where if she wasn't here as a D class, I would have mistaken her for a ten year old.

She was also gagged and sedated, a part of my mind immediately jumped to the wrong conclusion, that some doctor at The Foundation was using her and her childlike body to fulfill some forbidden fantasies but I quite literally slapped myself for considering that (And Yes SCP 049 did reprimand me for self harming)

The Foundation aren't pedophiles or lolicons, they're among the most competent and professional people on the planet.

If this D class is restrained, gagged and sedated there is a good reason for it.

Which (NOW IN THE PRESENT) Dr Sherman gave over the intercom shortly afterwards "SCP 049, SCP 9000,

This is D 666666, she's a D class from Area 14 and she has been infected with SCP 940, a type of parasitic spider that bonds to the nervous and circulatory systems of its host and reproduces via spreading its eggs and larva in its host's body fluids.

D 666666 is in stage 4 of SCP 940 infection, where the SCP 940 larvae has begun the process of bonding to her spine, nervous system and circulatory system, and has begun pumping enzymes and hormones that increase appetite and restlessness in the host.

At this point regular medicine can't help her.

So the point of this test is to see if SCP 049's new miracle medicine can cure SCP 940 up to stages higher then regular medicine"

I grit my teeth and hid my right hand behind my back so Dr Sherman couldn't see me give him the finger, by the way he referred to SCP 049's medicine you would've thought it fucked his wife!

SCP 049 gave no indication that she heard the doctor's disdain, instead she smiled with her eyes "Aah, a victim of ye old spider plague! I'll gladly have this poor soul cured with a single injection!"

She reached into her bag and pulled out another vial, then looked at me and said "Watch Monsieur Panacea as yet another foul plague is extinguished by your mighty blood!"

She plunged the needle into the right bicep of the unconscious child like D class, and injected the dose.

Despite being sedated D 666666's eyes shot open as if they just guzzled three five hour energies "Gaaaaaaaahhh!"

"M-my-my god! How is her throat not bleeding!" I shouted as I covered my ears now ringing from the now awake and thrashing D class's screaming.

SCP 049 said something but I couldn't quite understand it over all the screaming and then…

*Hack hack gurgle puh-thew* D 666666 puked up what looked like a partially digested tennis ball sized spider onto her lap before her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she went limp.

And by puking, I meant it was an action so violent that her teeth bit through the gag and drew blood.

I let out a sigh of relief when she went quite "Th-th-thank G-g-god is she-is she al-al-right?"

SCP 049 checked her pulse and replied "Yes she is Monsieur Panacea, the stress has seemed to made her lose consciousness but judging by the grotesque bile in her lap she's plague free"

Dr Bright's voice came over the intercom in the form of a chuckle "Wowza! SCP 049 are you an exorcist? If we ever release you from this site, I'm gonna recommend you as the lead actor in the next Exorcist movie"

I chuckled "Y-y-you're a tr-treausure Dr Bright s-sir." As my mind put forth a scenario of how a cast of normal actors would react to meeting SCP 049.

So far my guess was a 50/50 split with some of the actors obsessing over her womanly figure and the other half fleeing in terror over her being an anomaly who can kill with a touch.

Looking at the observation window I saw Dr Sherman had a look of disbelief on his face and although I don't think he intended too, his voice came over the intercom.

"I don't believe it.

That monster actually created something good" his voice was hoarse like a homeless person who hadn't brushed their teeth in a month and was trying to ask for money without grossing people out with his breath.

For the record I have nothing against homeless people and donate to them when I can, that was just the analogy that came to my mind.

SCP 049 gave no indication of hearing Dr Sherman beyond rolling her eyes while I felt my eye twitch but was otherwise able to suppress any further reaction.

A slot opened up underneath the observation window and Dr Flukes spoke "SCP 9000 please give us a vial of SCP 049's medicine, we would like to study it and there are doctors who would like to run a test of it on SCP 217 infected D class.

We couldn't risk bringing any of them to this site considering just how dangerous SCP 217 is"

I frowned "B-B-But s-sir d-d-doesn't the f-foundation a-already have a sample of my-you know my blood to study?"

Dr Flukes winced "Scientists at the Foundation are smart, we're smarter then any human on Earth but it appears we still pale in comparison to SCP 049.

We haven't made a fourth of the progress she has hence why we need a sample"

My eyes darted around the room, I did NOT want to look at SCP 049 and ask for a piece of her hardwork.

I found the lights on the ceiling interesting, then the cabinet was my next fascination, followed by the plush chair.

I bit down gently on my right middle finger 'Oh god oh god oh god oh god what if she hates me for asking for a piece of her hard work? But if I don't obey The Foundation will mark me as an uncooperative SCP and then-'

I felt a leather glove tap my shoulder "Gyyyyyaaah!" I let out a scream that I admit was girly, the kind you would expect from a kindergarten girl and jumped high enough that my head created a hole in the ceiling to the above floor.

When I came down my feet cracked the tile, and I saw that it was SCP 049 who had tapped my shoulder.

"Mon Dieu! I'm dearly sorry Monsieur I didn't mean to frighten you!" She said.

I feeling my face heat up again scolded myself internally 'Idiot idiot idiot goddamn idiot!'

Externally I said "S-s-sorry for-for not paying attention SCP 049, what do you n-need?"

And then I noticed she was holding a vial of the medicine in her free hand.

Looking at me sympathetically SCP 049 spoke "Monsieur Panacea you worry and stress yourself out too much.

I can tell you didn't want to follow the pretender's orders for fear of upsetting me.

But you don't have to worry about that, I know you have too in order for things to get better.

And it would be an honor for my cure to be used on ye old clockwork scourge

So please give them my vial so my medicine, our combined labor may squash ye old foul machine plague and free thy victims from its wretched grasp.

And doctors orders, stop stressing out so much young lad, stress is unhealthy for everyone.

Even you"

I gave a shaky smile and bowed my head and upper torso thrice like a groveling anime character would "R-really you're t-t-too kind SCP 049! I-I-I c-can't make any pr-promises but I'lldomybesttofollow-" *deep breaths* "Your orders!"

SCP 049 let out a sigh "I just might need to prescribe some medication for you"

"Sorry sorry! I'll do my best!" I squeaked feeling guilt and self hatred for my lack of self confidence and low self esteem now annoying my favorite doctor.

I gently took the vial from her and did a quick yet awkward walk over to the slot underneath the observation window and with tender care lowered my shaking hand into it with all the speed of a snail.

*Click* "Th-there you go Dr Flukes, I h-h-hope it works"

Dr Flukes answered "You did an excellent job SCP 9000, you too SCP 049.

As a reward you are allowed five more minutes of recreation together, try not to make any baby scps ok?"

*gasps* "I'm not r-r-ready to be a father!" I squeaked before hiding my face behind my cape.

My face burnt up more as I heard Dr Flukes and Dr Bright laughing in unison and I quickly did my awkward walk back to SCP 049.

Taking my cape off my face I apologized "SCP 049, I'm s-sorry if my if my st-stuttering and nervousness annoys you.

I- I'm always a bundle of nerves around people.

Pl-please don't stop talk-talking to me"

SCP 049 once again wrapped me in a hug and my face was reunited with the marshmallow soft surface of her boobs.

"Monsieur listen to me, you're my first friend in a long time and I have no intention of letting you go now or ever.

Listen to my heartbeat, know that my heart cares for you.

My heart is in your heart Monsieur Panacea"

*Ba dump Ba dump ba dump* I let out a happy sigh "It's like the classical music I used to fall asleep too as a kid"

I nuzzled my burning cheek into the pillowy mounds "So soft, much better then any pillow I've had"

I was experiencing a mix of perverted joy, relaxation and bliss.

I could've just laid there in SCP 049's embrace forever but alas our time was cut short by Dr Sherman's voice over the intercom "I hate to interrupt such a "touching" moment"

When he said touching I could tell he was resisting the urge to throw up "But we have just received reports of multiple containment breaches at Site 83 and so we ask you SCP 9000 to place SCP 049 back in her restraints so that you may both be escorted back to your cells while we decide to handle the breach"

I felt a vein physically throb on my forehead, both at Dr Sherman's casual dismissal of SCP 049 and I's moment and for interrupting it.

I felt SCP 049 let me go and I immediately felt less warm, less safe, which I knew was illogical given how I was most certainly a trillion times stronger then her.

'Something about being wrapped in her arms and held close to her bosom makes me feel safe, safer then even my Saitama powers can make me feel' I realized.

SCP 049 gently as if her hand was a swan's wing grabbed my chin and tilted my face upwards to look at her "It's ok Monsieur, put the harness and cuffs on me.

I won't mind, I know it's necessary and I trust you"

Her voice was smoother then a reese's cup and as melodious as a lullaby and I felt my heart rate slow down and my anxiety drop dead at her command.

I spotted the nearby cuffs and neck harness and it wasn't long before I had them secured onto her, at which point a pair of guards came in and escorted her out.

I clenched my fist and had to resist the illogical urge to stop them 'Can't be making enemies here' I had to remind myself.

Dr Flukes' voice came over the intercom "You may return to your cell now SCP 9000, I'll contact you if we need you"

WE NOW SWITCH OUT OF PATRICK'S POV AND GO TO THE SITE 19 MEETING ROOM AND DO A TIMESKIP!

We see a large rectangular table, on the left side sat Dr Flukes, Dr Bright and Dr Sherman.

Various other men in lab coats were gathered at the table and security personnel littered the room, and at the center of the table was a man obscured in shadow.

The man obscured in shadow pulled down a projector screen from the ceiling and turned on a projector "Attention scientists and security personnel we have received reports that there has been a massive containment breach at Site 83 in Alabama, USA"

*Click* The shadow figure pushed a button and the projector showed a picture of a large mega prison/ military facility covered almost completely in bugs like a car that drove through a swarm of locust.

Dr Bright imitating Scooby doo said "Ruh roh better call Orkin!"

The shadow figure facepalmed "Dr Bright need I remind you that this nonsensical attitude is what got you demoted in the first place?"

Dr Bright frowned and crossed his arms over his chest "Not my fault The Foundation has an anti fun policy"

"You're such a child" said a man with shoulder length sandy blonde hair and with a shotgun slung over his shoulder.

In response Dr Bright stomped his foot on the floor while sticking his tongue out "I don't wanna be an adult waaah!"

The shadow figure growled "Dr Bright enough! Now as I was saying, we have reason to believe the containment breach was caused by SCP 5053 succumbing to some kind of curse afflicted upon it by the Hashabor entity its referred to us in its reports about the destruction of its kingdom Alteria" *click*

The figure pressed a button and the projector changed the picture to that of a large stick bug with green ooze leaking out of its left eye "As you can see, SCP 5053 has been demonstrating signs of this sickness for weeks before the containment breach occurred.

This along with SCP 5053's reports of the Hashabor being able to control large armies of bugs make us think this is linked to him"

*Click* The picture changed again, this time to a pubescent girl of Asiatic indian descent whos body was a mixture of Albino with dark black.

"Although it's safe to assume that most if not all Site 83 personnel are KIA we should assume that other SCPs contained there such as SCP 029 the daughter of shadows is still active and has most likely escaped containment.

I am calling this meeting to vote on whether we should send in a mobile task force to salvage what they can or to declare it lost and remotely activate Site 83's nuclear warhead"

The man with shoulder length sandy blonde hair cocked his shotgun for emphasis and said "I vote we treat this mess like we would a normal bug infestation, bomb the shit out of it until all the bugs are in bug heaven"

Dr Bright rolled his eyes "Leave it to Dr Clef to go for the most drastic option that leaves nothing left.

I vote that we send in a task force or two to clean up the mess, give em a couple flame throwers, some grenades and wala we got a bug stompin party!"

Dr Sherman shook his head "Dr Bright you child! You'll be sending those poor bastards to their deaths, it'll be much safer for everyone involved to detonate the nuclear warhead"

Dr Bright frowned "You mean for everyone except potential survivors"

Dr Sherman scoffed "They know what they signed up for"

The figure obscured by shadow nodded "That's two votes for the nuclear warhead, next!"

Dr Flukes raised his hand "I would like to propose a third option.

Send in SCP 9000 either by himself or to accompany a Task Force to stop the containment breach"

Murmurs broke out across the table.

Dr Clef slammed his fist on the table "That's outrageous! He hasn't even been here for a week"

Dr Bright spoke "I agree with Dr Flukes, we should give SCP 9000 a chance to help contain the breach.

I mean he's the guy who killed SCP 096 with a single bitch slap! This breach will be a cake walk to him"

Dr Clef growled "He's emotionally impulsive! Like a child!"

Dr Sherman grunted "Agreed, and he doesn't have the best judge of character example his crush on SCP 049"

Dr Bright sighed "Give the kid a break! He obviously didn't get a lot of action with girls before coming here! Talking to SCP 049 was probably the most interaction he's had with a girl who wasn't a family member, in years! And I bet that every guy in here has fallen for a bad girl at some point in their life."

The shadowy figure barked "Enough! This is no time to argue, this is the time to vote.

I hereby concur that sending SCP 9000 to Site 83 to contain the breach shall be an option.

Remember here at The Foundation our motto is Secure Contain and Protect.

We use destruction only as a last resort, if we have a means to avoid destruction we'll take it.

Everyone cast your votes."

SHORT TIMESKIP WE NOW SWITCH BACK TO PATRICK'S POV!

I was laying on my bed, reading a book that The Foundation had given me at my request Animorphs 29 The Sickness.

"Again, it's not my treasured memento from my old middle school library but it'll do" I lamented as I remembered how my old middle school allowed me to keep their Animorphs books.

I heard a knock at my door, and suppressing an instinctual surge of irritation I quickly grabbed a sticky note and used it to mark my place before closing the page.

I stood in front of my electronically locked door ready to greet my guest "Co-come in please" I stuttered only once (a good job masking my anxiety this time)

The door slid open and in walked Dr Flukes, who had a serious look on his face "Kid how would you like to go on your first mission?"

I let out a startled sound that was a cross between a gulp and a gasp "Eunghh?" After which I could hear my heart pounding like railroad tracks in my ears "N-N-N-N-NOW?! B-B-But I just I just got here! What if what if what if I screw something up what if I accidentally kill someone with-w-with my strength or f-fail to save s-someone?"

Dr Flukes sighed and put a hand on my shoulder "Listen kid I'm not going to lie and say this will be easy.

You're a civilian so you haven't been exposed to the horrors of anomalies like trained Foundation personnel have, and I guarantee you anomalies can be just as horrifying and sometimes even more so then the horrors of war.

But I'm asking you to do this because I along with several other doctors as well as some MTF have concurred that a mobile task force or even multiple mobile task forces wouldn't be able to re-capture the site without sustaining heavy casualties.

We have concluded that we have two options: send in a mobile task force and pray for a pyrrhic victory or detonate the site's nuclear warhead.

That is if we don't send you in.

We could send you in with a mobile task force and casualties will most likely be greatly reduced and with the power you've demonstrated, you should have little problem containing any hostile euclid or keter class SCPs.

So what do you say?"

I let out a whimper and a groan and I de-evolved into my ticks which I usually do when I am overcome by intense emotion "Brrr brrr brrr brrr" internally I was thinking 'The way Dr Flukes put it, if I don't join this mission, either a lot of good task force soldiers are going to die or any survivors at Site 83 are going to die.

If I have the power to save lives shouldn't I use it, even if- even if I'm scared?

With great power comes great responsibility.

The catchphrase of Spider-Man that I memorized from the early 2000's Spider-Man movies.'

I sucked in a breath then let it out, then sucked in another breath and let that one out too "I'll-I'll d-d-do it, g-give me the de-t-tails please"

Dr Flukes gave me a small smile "I'm proud of you SCP 9000, follow me"

ONE AND A HALF HOUR TIMESKIP LATER!

And that's how I found myself on a Military Helicopter, accompanying a mobile task force of six.

I was wearing my hero costume and even though I didn't need to, I was buckled into my harness.

I had paper towels stuffed into my ears underneath ear muffs and I still grinded my teeth from the loud noise generated by the helicopter.

I pressed my hands to the sides of the muffs on my head and my eyes shot around the helicopter's cabin, gazing in frustrated wonder at the stoic MTF.

'How the fuck are these guys so blase about this noisy piece of shit?' I wondered in my head before I let out a growl "Grrrrrraaaaaaaa!" I probably sounded like a rabid dog, the MTF to their further credit didn't flinch, only giving me a casual glance as if I was an annoyance and nothing more.

I yelled "How much fucking longer is it going to be?! I feel like I could tear my brain out if I have to listen to this goddamn helicopter any longer!"

One of the MTF addressed me in a voice cool as a frozen lake "Cool your jets and look outside 9000, and you'll see"

I felt my face flush and my brow twitch at being called out but I nonetheless looked out of the helicopter's window and saw…

"H-H-holy sh-shit it's night time now! I c-can see the full moon!" I said.

The MTF who addressed me earlier spoke again "Indeed, we're now in Alabama's time zone so steel your resolve as this will be unlike anything you've ever experienced"

Just then the pilot's voice came over the helicopter's intercom "Mobile task force sigma sigma, we are approaching Site 83 and it is NOT looking pretty over"

I felt the helicopter give a lurch (making me glad I was wearing my harness) followed by the pilot cursing over the intercom "Fuck! We're already getting hammered by bugs!"

I let out a scream that I would be embarrassed by later ( due to how much it sounded like a little girls) as I witnessed the window in front of my face get peppered with a dozen grasshoppers, along with hearing the the sound of ten dozen flying roaches being shredded by the helicopters propellers.

Having a flashback to the time I almost caused my parents to have a car crash because a grasshopper jumped into my lap from an open window, the amount of disgust and fear I felt caused me to throw up in my mouth while jumping out of my harness *BRRRUUUNG!* Thus tearing my harness in half with a tiny fraction of my saitama strength.

I crashed into the MTF in front of me and I heard him give a wheeze "Watch it kid! I think you just broke a rib!"

"S S Sorry sir!" I stuttered.

*Beep beep beep beep!* An alarm sounded followed by the pilot's voice over the intercom "The Bugs have fucked up our ride we're coming in hot!"

The helicopter spun in circles like a carousel on crack and my mind began to race 'Oh shit we're gonna die! No wait I'll be fine I have Saitama's powers! It's the MTF who are in danger here not me! Okay what would a hero like Izuku Midoriya do in your situation?'

I pounded on my skull with my knuckles "Think Patrick Think!"

A lightbulb flashed above my head "I gotta cushion the landing!" I dashed over to the door of the helicopter and with a swift kick sent it flying off.

I then jumped off the helicopter and spun around in mid-air grabbing the helicopter with both of my hands.

As a result we were now falling faster BUT the helicopter was no longer spinning out of control, instead it was a nose dive down.

*CCCRRRUUUNNNCH!* That was the sound of my feet hitting the concrete and cracking it like an egg, spiderweb like cracks formed over a two hundred foot radius and a third of the front of the site's barbed wire fortress of a fence came down upon me impacting the ground.

I was unharmed if you were wondering (though the earmuffs had gotten knocked off and the paper towels I was using as earplugs popped out) and so was the helicopter which was being held aloft by my hands.

"Is is is- are you alright?" I nervously stuttered.

The MTF had visors on but even so I got the feeling from how their fingers twitched they were looking at me in shock.

I heard one let out a dry chuckle before he commented "I want a refund for this ride"

The MTF commander quickly unbuckled himself from his harness "Zip it Fives you can joke later, now we've got a breach to contain! Equipment check!"

As the MTF began checking their equipment I heard a buzzing sound that sounded like half a dozen car engines.

I quickly set the helicopter down as I had a REALLY bad feeling about something really nasty being behind me.

"Aiiieeeeee" I let out a girl's scream as I saw a swarm of bugs consisting of over a thousand roaches on the floor, thousands of mosquitos in the air, what had to be at least THREE WHOLE hives of Yellow jackets and fifteen wasps.

I mean the amount of roaches looked like something I saw on TV once where a guy was forced to conquer his fear of roaches by diving into a dumpster full of them!

And the mosquitos looked like a swarm from a video I saw recorded in the amazon rainforest, they were so thick they looked like black smoke!

I wretched and threw up yet again "Stay away!" I shouted and instinctively threw a punch to protect myself.

*BOOOOM!* A loud clap of thunder rattled my ears as if my ear drums were receiving a paddling, I could visibly see shockwave after shockwave slam into the abominable horde of bugs.

It was like watching a tsunami, a tornado and the hand of god get a job as an exterminator.

*SPLAAAAT!* The swarm was reduced to pure liquid that gave the Site (which now sported windows reduced to dust) a brown coating.

I heard an impressed whistle from behind me, and I turned around and saw the six MTF now outside, one carrying a sniper rifle and who had a patch on his left shoulder that said "Fives" said "Two hundred points to Gryffindor for that super manly punch.

Twenty five points from Slytherin for that manbaby bitch scream"

I facefaulted deadpanned "Y-You j-just had to give me a b-burn via one of my favorite books didn't you?"

The commander MTF who was carrying an assault rifle and who had a star patch on his left shoulder said "Fives, make one more joke and you will be doing dishes for the next two weeks.

SCP 9000 good job, you are to proceed as our forward guard!"

I gasped "I I I'm g-going in first!"

The commander spoke "Well yeah, unlike you we're not invincible"

I blinked and smacked my head 'With great power comes great responsibility! I'm no longer the out of shape couch potato I used to be! I'm now the strongest man alive! I can't just cower behind those weaker then me! I have to step up and be a man, protect people, be a hero like Izuku Midoriya!'

I gave a serious face (Or at least I hoped it was a serious face) "I'll do my best to protect you guys, I'm going in"

I walked up to the entrance of Site 83 (Almost slipping a few times on the bug juice I created) , like Site 19 it had a vault like door that would put the largest bank vaults to shame, said door was coated in layer upon layer of the brown juice created from my earlier punch and the stench assaulted my nose akin to the city dump I would always pass by to see my speech therapist, and almost made me throw up a THIRD time.

I shivered before I steeled my resolve and grabbed the vault, to my delight my fingers dug into the Warhammer 40k fortress-like door as if it were playdough.

I grinned, not an insane grin, a genuinely happy grin like the one I made when I was taught how to ride a bike when I was in kindergarten.

"So so cooool!" I gushed before I tore the vault off as if it was nothing more then paper, thus generating a screech akin to a nails on chalkboard dubstep remix.

I tossed the vault aside "Holy shit that was like tossing a-" I was going to say tossing a tennis ball but then I was interrupted when a blue car with a fogged up windshield crashed into me.

I let out a startled gasp and stumbled back two steps and almost tripped, but I wasn't actually harmed, just surprised.

I mean the car that crashed into me was the one from Harry Potter and from the looks of it, I had fucked it up pretty badly just by being in it way, it's windshield now had seventeen cracks and it's hood looked like a moose sat on it.

"Oops S S Sorry! I I didn't m-mean to be in your way" I said as I instinctively defaulted to my apologetic state whenever I bumped into someone.

One of the MTF shouted "Don't apologize you bald moron! That's SCP 3470! Kill it before it kills us!"

I noticed its left hand extending out of the window of the vehicle and the hand's palm had two eyes which glowed red as they glared at me full of anger and hate.

"brrr creepy" I shivered.

"Raaaaaahgh!" Roared the monster SCP 3470 apparently (I haven't read about this one before)

Before its wheels screeched against the concrete.

I held up my hand and made a serious face 'Okay can't let this thing hurt the MTF!' "Detroit smash!" I called out All Might's attack as I threw my right fist forward.

*SPLAAAT SHATTER!* A sound akin to a sledgehammer smashing a vase and two dozen water balloons popping combined rang out as glass that was reduced to dust, auto parts that were covered in blood and guts and fetal like body parts were scattered over a two hundred foot radius by my punch.

I gulped and turned my back around with the speed of a turtle with a limp, hoping that the MTF didn't mind the mess "I I I'm s sorry about the the mess"

Again I couldn't see their faces due to their full protective visors but one who had an Omega patch on his left shoulder had his arms go slack at his sides, almost dropping his dual pistols as they hung on only by his pinkies "Holy shit!" He breathed out like Darth Vader.

The commander grunted "That didn't suck"

I nervously smiled "Th Th thank you" before I walked into the site.

The inside of Site 83 was like the inside of Site 19, a concrete jungle, albeit one decorated with bugs both living and dead.

I could see two dozen dead roaches and sixteen still alive pink dragon flies on a wall on the left and on the floor were four dozen crushed grasshoppers and on the right wall were eleven still alive and kicking flies.

Despite my invincibility I could feel my skin crawling as I could imagine all the bugs both living and dead crawling up my body's most private orifices and violating my body and consuming me from the inside.

"Bleeuurrgh!" I spewed chunks like Mt Vesuvius onto the floor, coating the dead grasshoppers in my bile and half digested food.

I soon heard the crunch crunch of dead bugs as the MTF followed behind me, soon Fives ( what I decided to call the soldier with the Fives patch on his shoulder) was beside me, and he looked at the vomit-covered grasshoppers on the floor.

"Woah oh hooh dude dude!" ( I had to bite my lip to stifle a giggle at him talking like a California Surfer Bro)

"You're the king of puke sports! I hereby name you Heevil Knievil!"

I felt my cheeks heat up at receiving the puke/ daredevil themed nickname yet I couldn't help but agree it was funny, I let out a chuckle "Th Th thanks s s sir"

It was then the commander came up and said "Fives? That was your last warning.

Congratulations you're doing dishes for the next two weeks"

I decided to speak up on Fives behalf ( or try to, I was never good at speaking to authority) "Ex-excuse me-me sir but I'm-I'm not offended so does F-Fives really need to be pun-punished?"

The commander stared me down, and he was over a foot taller then me which made me feel like a munchkin, I squirmed and flinched under his hidden gaze.

The commander spoke "It's not about you being offended SCP 9000 it's about Fives not taking his job seriously"

I hastily looked at the floor "O-Okay sir-sir"

The commander then spoke again " Glad we understand each other, now as a reminder you are to help us capture an escaped instance of SCP 3288 that was due for interrogation today, SCP 029 and SCP 4975.

You are also to help us eradicate the infestation of bugs at this site, and to capture The Hashabor that apparently has the ability to resurrect itself, as it possessed and killed SCP 5053 who claimed to have killed it before.

Searching for survivors is a secondary priority until after the breach is contained"

I let out a sad moan as I was reminded of the mission objectives ' I would rather search for survivors immediately, the longer we wait the more likely they'll die.

But at the same time I can understand why we have to contain and eradicate the anomalies first, get the danger out of the way'

I also was dreading my encounter with each SCP as I reviewed what I knew about each one in my head.

' SCP 3288 the slaaneshii like super super inbred Aristocrats who's inbreeding would make the American South turn green with envy.

Along with being extremely hideous! * shivers*

SCP 029, her picture at the briefing…

She was kinda pretty, not nearly as pretty as SCP 049 though.

She's also a lot meaner, would probably make fun of my ticks and shyness.

SCP 4975, not cute like other birds and makes a real creepy sound.'

I then heard the commander speak again "SCP 9000! You're up! Let's go!"

I snapped out of my thoughts and saluted "Y-Y-yes sir-S-sir!" And walked in front of the MTF team, ready to protect them.

SHORT TIMESKIP!

I was still leading in the front the MTF were behind me, we had walked seventy feet straight into the facility ( I had to use another punch to kill another swarm of bugs this one of mosquitos and one red dragonfly) before the commander directed me to go down a flight of stairs on the left as there was a tracker planted in SCP 4975 that would lead us right to it.

Finding that ticking bird was deemed a priority due to it most likely having entered a hunt since having gotten free.

So we walked down two flights of stairs, and into a hallway covered in blood splatter on it's left side with messages like "No help" and "Must escape" written on the wall in blood.

I gulped and without intending to began doing my ticks "Brrrrr brrrr brrrr" before taking a shaky breath "I I I f-feel like I'm in D-Dead spay-space"

Just as we began to walk past a vent I could hear a buzzing and scratching in the walls.

I felt my skin crawl and my stomach do flip flops gagging I mumbled "Don't-" *blahg* "Thr-throw up again. You-you already lost your breakfast." * retch*.

I tensed "W-W-W-wait the-the bugs are-"

"Commander, look out!" I shouted as I ran back and pushed the MTF commander out of the way, he was walking behind me and in front of an air conditioner vent at the time.

I pushed him out of the way just in time to *Clunk BOOM!* the vent exploded off its hinges and flew towards the ceiling.

And out of the vent came a swarm of bugs.

I was able to count eleven ladybugs, eleven Japanese murder hornets, fifty five Carpenter ants, twenty three blue dragonflies and three madagascar hissing roaches before I was COVERED.

'OHGOD OHGODOHGODHPGOD SHIT SHIT SHIT THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! This must be a bad dream!'

My heart driven by fear beat so fast that it threatened to give out despite being enhanced by Saitama's sheer physical might.

I could feel the bugs crawling all over me, their hairy legs brushing up against my arms and legs, their antenna tickling my face and all I wanted to do was SCREAM.

And so I did.

"AAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" Like a little girl, a little girl with a potty mouth, a little girl screaming through ten megaphones stacked together.

*SPPLAAAT!* *RRRUUUMBLE!*

The bugs covering me exploded into brown juice which crashed into the wall with enough force that it gave the illusion of it being the cause of the wall crumbling like lincoln logs.

The hallway we were in began to shake and quake like the cave in scenes I have seen in numerous adventure moves.

As the brown juice that used to be bugs dripped down the crumbling wall I realizing what I did bowed my head rapidly " I'm s s sorreeee!" I stuttered even more then usual.

The commander shouted in an unusually loud voice "I can't hear you SCP 9000! I think your scream fucking deafened me and probably the rest of the team too!"

*Clunk!* a piece of the ceiling the size of a ham fell down towards the commanders head.

*Bam!* I quickly punched it into dust.

I then without thinking slung all of the team over my shoulder, one on top of the other without giving thought to any discomfort they would feel and RAN.

Just in time too as a shower of pebbles and stones rained down where we just were moments prior.

I ran at a speed that put race cars to shame, thus I covered two eighty foot straight hallways before turning left and going ninety five feet in a mere three seconds.

We arrived outside of what looked to me like a testing chamber for it had the sterile white walls, chairs and keyboards.

And oh yeah there was a ten foot tall bipedal bird creature that was emaciated as Slenderman and looked as healthy as a dog with mange, with a vulture-like face and T Rex like fingers.

*Bleuuurgh bluuurrgh!* The sound of puking repeated next to my ear and the next thing I knew I had vomit running down my hero costume.

"Gahh gross!" I screeched before I unceremoniously dropped the whole MTF Team.

The commander who had removed his helmet picked himself up first "I can hear again, that's good.

Now what did you expect when you put us through all that G force so suddenly? Us regular humans weren't meant to go from zero to five hundred like that!"

Feeling my cheeks heat up I bowed "G G Gomenasai!"

"Aaaah fuck fuck it's found me help!" I heard a scream and turned around to see SCP 4975 pulling a middle aged caucasian researcher out of a cabinet underneath a sink.

I could safely assume the guy was a researcher judging by his white lab coat and badge, he definitely wasn't dressed as a D class.

My body moved without thinking I covered the fifteen foot distance between me and the bird monster in a fourth of a second "0.5 percent Detroit-"

My right fist collided into its face, "SMASH!" I felt its beak break like dried ramen under my fist and the beast let out a bloody ( as in blood squirting) howl of agony as it went spinning through the air and sailed through the wall.

*Boom!*

When the wall crumpled down it revealed SCP 4975 now missing its beak laying in a pool of blood, covered in bruises like a zebra is covered in stripes, and unconscious.

I turned to face The Researcher "Are-Are you alright sir?"

The man looked at me stunned "You one shotted that thing…" his voice was barely more then a whisper.

He then turned to the MTF "You brought an SCP with you didnt you?"

The Commander nodded "He was deemed necessary"

I offered the researcher a hand up, said researcher looked at my blood covered hand and ignoring my offer of help, pushed himself up.

"So let me guess your first priority is to secure the SCPs?" Asked the man in a grudging tone.

"Affirmative, but we can send one of our number to escort you to the exit"

The researcher sighed "Make it two, I doubt you'll need that many with that thing helling you"

I frowned and felt my brows furrow at being referred to as a thing ' come on Patrick! Speak up for yourself! Be a man!'

Sadly all I could do was open my mouth and let out a groan.

The Commander to my disappointment didn't correct the researcher "You do have a point, Fives, Whisky Omega you two escort the good doctor out of here.

Use your huds personal maps to find an alternate way out"

""YES SIR!"" saluted the two MTF.

And like that we were off again.

TEN MINUTE TIMESKIP!

The commander used the map in his hud to guide us to the Botanical wing where the Hashabor was reported to have manifested.

We hadn't quite reached said wing yet and mercifully we hadn't encountered anymore hostiles.

*brrrr brrr brrr* "Die you fucking freak!" That changed when I spotted a latino male D class who had somehow gotten ahold of an assault rifle, firing a wave of bullets at a giant cockroach.

As in a roach the size of a school bus made out of thousands of normal roaches clustered together.

"G G Get the fu-fuck away!" Shouted the D class before his assault rifle gave a click.

The man looked at his weapon which had stopped firing and continued making clicking sounds, before giving a scream as he was swallowed whole.

Right then and there I felt my bladder let go, but only briefly before I stopped myself, a spoon sized stain appearing on my pants.

"Ugh ugh bleurrgh gagh!" I gagged trying not to throw up.

And then the school bus sized roach made out of over a thousand roaches turned its attention towards us.

I felt sweat trickle down my brow and my heart stop beating from fright before it picked up again where it beat so fast the noise hurt my ears.

"Punch it-" wheezed The Commander, sounding as frightened as I've ever heard him "Punch that abomination now!"

I took a deep breath as the monster advanced towards us ' You're not helpless Anymore you're a hero more powerful then All Might!'

I took off like a bullet, leaving a shockwave that knocked The Commander off his feet.

Meeting the giant roach construct's charge with my own I raised my right fist "California-"

The school bus hood sized roach head, its mandibles composed of hundreds of roaches, its eyes composed of at least a hundred roaches, squirmed, wiggled, shrieked a million shrieks and vibrated.

Before it exploded into juice when my fist smashed into it "Smaaash!" *SSSPLAT!*

Brown juice covered the halls.

I could still feel the earthquake in my chest that was my heartbeat yet at the same time I could feel electricity surging through my arm as if I licked my finger and stuck it in a socket, I could feel gasoline being pumped through my veins.

I was ALIVE!

"Wow! I'm- I'm really awesome!" I boasted aloud.

"You can admire yourself later, for now we've got a site to secure and people to save" said The Commander.

I felt my face heat up and suppressed the irritation that flared up in my head 'The one moment I feel confidence in myself and he has to ruin it?'

I realized the thought was childish and selfish, if I wanted to save people I couldn't obsess over my confidence issues.

The Commander gave out instructions "Walk past the next three doors on the left and enter the first door on the right, the tracker planted in the SCP 3288 instance points it somewhere in the D class wing"

"The thank you sir-s-sir" I stuttered as I felt my heart rate which was just calming down behind to pick back up at the thought of coming across one of those horribly disfigured monsters that just reading the document back in my world had filled me with fright.

I left the way, my red boots squeaking against the floor, no sooner did I make it to the third door on the left before I heard a familiar buzzing.

"Fuuuuck yeeew!" I shouted as I threw out my right first, thus slamming it into a swarm of thirty nine ladybugs, twenty two pink dragonflies, twenty two red dragonflies and two yellow jackets.

*SPLAAAT!* The result was rainbow goo, as if the Pride flag drank too much tequila and barfed (I'm pro lgbt by the way)

I picked up the pace not to the point of super speed but to a quick jog, made my way to the first door on the right.

And sucked in a breath as I came upon a prison like hallway that looked like it came out of Dead Space.

There were electronically locked doors, several of which had been torn off their hinges by brute force while others disturbingly had been chewed open by insects.

I could see an obvious Neo Nazi who had been torn in half and there were now lady bugs feasting on his intestines.

I sucked in a deep breath and held it to force down my gagging, my original plan was to tiptoe past the three dozen ladybugs feasting on the Neo Nazi's corpse.

But then I heard sounds that sent a chill down my spine while also spurring me into action.

"Help… Help someone please!" It was a woman and her voice was weak, barely more then a whimper, sounding as heartbroken as when my favorite cartoon character SpongeBob lost his pet snail Gary.

And then other sounds…

Grunting, wheezing, cursing "You peasant whore! You should be grateful-" *Sluuurrrrps!* "That an earl one of royal blood such as myself finds you worthy of carrying his offspring! You're going to have the divine semen of kings pumped into your womb you stinky whore!"

Disgust and a desire to vomit for probably my one millionth time that day but I refrained as it was overcome with rage.

My eyelids squeezed shut so hard that my eyes felt like they were going to pop, my nails dug into my palms and before I knew it I ran.

The first half of a second I was at the front of the D class wing, the next half I was at the tenth cell and witnessing a horror that would make Freddy Krueger green with envy.

A naked woman with beautiful dark skin, I could tell by the shredded remains of her lab coat that she was a researcher, besides that her flesh which was covered in various gashes, blood and bruises was exposed.

Her face streaked with tears and snot cried out "Pleeeease!" As what could only be described as a monster thrusted into her.

Said monster was abnormally tall standing at ten feet with eight fingers per hand it's hands being crusted in a bone like carapace that was cracked like a punched cookie, it's face had a lower jaw that stuck out four inches in front of it's face with nine extra canines and three extra molars and possessed a handlebar mustache.

It's arms were disproportionately long, reminding me of Slenderman and The Rake, it's skin pale as chalk and it's milk white eyes sunken in.

It's upper torso was clothed in red and gold sparkling clothing that you would expect to only see in a historic painting of victorian era aristocrats.

The monster, an instance of SCP 3288 didn't have time to notice me before I was on it.

I grabbed it's right arm, and with a tug it came off *riiiiip!*.

The inbred monster's blood covered me and it roared in pain, it's roaring and howling making me flinch as my eardrums recoiled but only for a moment.

I then swung the arm I pulled off, sending it's own hand careening into it's face *WHACK CRRUUUNCH!*

Seven of it's nine extra canines went flying out along with a handful of blood "You monster you disgusting inbred rapist fucking piece of shit that deserves to die monster! You're no king! You're not divine not even close! You're a demon! Your kind all deserve to die!"

While shouting my tirade I continued beating the SCP 3288 with it's own severed arm.

"You peasant bastard I'll defile your mother-" it at first tried to threaten me but-

*Splat crunch splat crunch splat crunch splat crunch splat crunch* As I continued to beat it, it's blood coating the chamber like a graffiti artist coats a wall with paint and it's teeth decorating the floor like litter on a highway.

The monster began to plead for mercy, its begging and cries turning into gurgled sobs.

"Parleeee parlurrreghllee!" It gurgled out as it wheezed and spat out multiple teeth.

I felt a presence by my side, grabbing my arm trying to stop my rampage against the so called Earl "SCP 9000 stop, we need it alive, we need it alive!"

*Whack crunch whack crunch!* I slammed the severed arm onto the SCP 3288's midsection twice.

'Wait there's an innocent in my way!' I paused mid swing the Commander was in front of me, getting between me and the instance.

"SCP 9000 we need it alive! Listen when I say to stop pummeling it goddamnit!"

I looked over him and saw my handiwork done on the Earl, his once four inch jaw had been reduced to a 2D shape, his left eye was reduced to jello and his right eye was swollen shut.

His right ear had been punched off and he had twenty gashes on his torso which had also transformed into one big bruise from the neck down.

I was shocked, stunned as I dropped the arm I had ripped off and held my blood and viscera soaked hands in front of my face, my hands shaking like how my grandma's used too.

" I" that's all I could do repeat the letter I over and over.

I couldn't see The commander's face but I got the feeling that his expression had softened if only by an inch. "I get it, you saw something that no civilian should witness and lost control.

I had a similar meltdown on my first assignment but I was held liable when the monster my team was supposed to capture died, you better pray that it pulls through, take a breather while we take care of the researcher and administer some mediocre medicine to the SCP 3288 instance"

"Th-Th-th-thank YOUUU!" I blurted out the last word before I stumbled like a drunk person out of the former D class cell.

As I stumbled out I saw one of the MTF providing a new coat to the researcher I rescued, while administering gauze and bandaids to her.

Once out I slumped to the wall with a THUD thus leaving a dent before I slid downwards and placed my head in my hands between my knees.

I snuggled up into the dent I accidentally made in the wall as if it was the recliner I watched TV on at my Aunt and Uncle's house.

"Bzzz brrr brrr brrr" yes I had begun acting out my ticks, my upper teeth gnashing my lower lip while my tongue flapped at a million miles per hour in my mouth.

Taking a breath I said "I'm pathetic, I'm really fucking pathetic, I may have Saitama's powers but I'm still a little cowardly autistic baby with the maturity of a little kid.

Who should be back in my home universe watching SpongeBob and getting fatter on Junk Food, not confronting anomalous horrors, not working with an organization as prestigious and heroic as The Foundation.

Why- why was I isekaid?"

My vision became blurry and I felt my cheeks become wet.

I thought about my favorite anime hero Izuku Midoriya, before letting out a loud snort as to suck up the snot leaking out of my nose "I'm no Izuku, he would be handling this much better then me, he wouldn't be crying right now"

It was then that The Commander came out of the cell, his head looked from left to right and then left again, apparently not having spotted me.

"I'm h-h-here sir" I stuttered as I shyly raised my hand.

The Commander looked at me and although I couldn't see his face I got the feeling he was concerned.

He bent down to my level and said "Come on SCP 9000 get your head in the game, we need you to contain this breach"

Overcome with self pity all I could do was let out a choked sob and then a shaky breath "I'm n-no hero, I'm just a coward given power, I may have raw strength but my mind…

It's weak, my mind is as fragile as a child's"

There was a pause before The Commander placed a hand on my shoulder "Look you may be feeling useless right now but I can assure you that's not the case, without you we wouldn't have even survived entering this site's airspace, we would've died when the helicopter crashed.

Your quick thinking saved us all.

And you saved us again when you punched that swarm that would've eaten us alive at the entrance had you not been there.

Then you saved my life a third time by pushing me out from in front of that air conditioner, getting swarmed by the bugs in my place despite your obvious phobia of them.

I can tell you have a powerful phobia of bugs, yet you have gone out of your way to protect us people who are weaker then you and haven't tried to use us as meat shields.

If you want to be a hero, then I say you're on the right track.

I'm sure if we give you time and a helping hand you can become the hero you dream to be"

I wiped my eyes *sniff sniff sniff* "Really? Thank you sir for the boost of confidence, I feel somewhat better" I accepted his hand up before asking "The-um the researcher that was y'know…

How is she?"

The Commander answered " She's been treated with antiseptic and ointment and bandaged up, and I ordered Echo ten to remain here with her and the 3288 instance you almost killed"

I nodded "Wh-what d-do you need that sick bastard for anyways?" I half stuttered half sneered through gritted teeth.

The Commander answered "We need him to answer questions about an SCP 3288 infestation that has taken hold here in America"

I shuddered and sucked in a gulp of air 'Those pedophilic rapists cannibalistic monsters… in America? The SCP Universe just keeps on getting worse and worse!'

I bowed my head very low and clasped my hands in a begging position "If the fucker dies, Please let me help you capture a new one or a dozen new ones! I am more then physically capable of subduing an army of those monsters!"

I got the impression the Commander was raising a brow "Physically yes, but would you be able to handle the horror you would witness upon entering their nests? I'll take it under consideration.

For now let's focus on recapturing Site-83"

And with that our conversation ended and we resumed our trek to the Botanical wing.

AUTHORS NOTES!

I AM VERY VERY SORRY TO LEAVE THIS OFF ON A CLIFF HANGER BUT I FELT THIS CHAPTER WAS DRAGGING ON FOR FAR TOO LONG AND SO I DECIDED TO CUT IT OFF HERE!

NEXT CHAPTER WILL SHOW THE CONCLUSION OF THE SITE 83 CONTAINMENT BREACH WITH SCP 9000/ PATRICK FIGHTING THE HASHABOR!

ALSO WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE FURTHER BONDING MOMENTS BETWEEN PATRICK AND FEMALE SCP 049? THIS WONT BE A HAREM, IT'S SOLELY PATRICK X SCP 049.

AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY PATRICK IS SUCH AN EMOTIONAL WRECK DURING HIS FIRST MISSION, KEEP IN MIND HE'S HAD SAITAMA'S POWERS FOR A DAY OR TWO AT MOST AND BEFORE THAT HE WAS A COUCH POTATO WHO NEVER LIVED ON HIS OWN OR DID ANYTHING EXCITING IN HIS LIFE.

AND MENTALLY HE'S STILL AUTISTIC WITH A CHILD LIKE MIND AND IS PRONE TO EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS.

ANYWAYS LATER TATERS!