by The Pighead
It only took me two weeks to do this chapter. I'm pretty proud of myself, let's just say it.
Anyway, hi, everyone, I'm already back at it. I will not say too much about the chapter but a lot of things will happen. A lot of things will also NOT happen. And all of this will be quite interesting, I'm certain of it. So, let's get to it and I hope you'll appreciate it as much as I appreciated writing this chapter and all the others before!
Also, before you start, make sure you're reading Temporal Tete-a-Tete, by L1701E! In addition of being a very good one-shot, its main subject is the repercussion of the Wild Card' actions at the end of Chapter 5 and I personally consider it a necessary reading as a part of her story arc. Very grateful and very glad it happened, so check it out!
Enjoy!
Music time 2 : Sugarhill' Boogaloo !
Hey, yo, yo
Lil Yool, Black Noi$e, Earl Sweatshirt, bro, you know what it is
I keep my shit straight, yo, for real
Thinking about the next neat thing
New notorious thug, call me Biggie
My new home is everywhere
The homies search for me, ask « Where ? »
I always move, I never stay there
People here gon' need protection
With the crash of the Carapacian
Now they outside on another mission
Can't stop dashing, I keep on slipping
I don't care if I just keep crashing
Thanks to this factor, I'm constantly healing
Oh, no, there's gon' be a disaster
Yeah, I lack common sense, don't know better
But please, can I borrow a dollar ?
Listen, don't try to get close, boy
I already have the ones I need, boy
I'll just ghost you like Laura Les with that piss-boy
Yo, I'm a ghost and a killer
My soul is both sweet and sour
But it's no biggie, I'm still taking a shower
So we know, this is how we do it
I just told myself « yo, do it »
Didn't wait for Witwicky to tell me
Thanos thought he was the bringer of doom
But I go faster than Professor Zoom
Dumile taught me how to make the worlds go « boom ! »
Red Skull lying dead on the floor
Told this bitch to go talk to my door
Quick murder, one-two-three-four
Like Rakim, I pump up the volume
Don't you dare call me a fluke
I fly, you still on the toilet and you puke
Bro, my only drug is the Multiverse
Way bigger than what's in Derse
And that's why I fucking laid that verse
Me and the homies, we are restless
Yeah, me and the homies, we are restless
Look beyond.
You are now Mario. You are watching the possible bringer of that device doing a rap in a video posted on her Twitter account, 2 days ago. You don't understand more than half of the things she raps about. But it was what greeted you when your account got accepted and became able to see the posts of the « LIL_HEAD » account.
Judging by his facial expression, Luigi seems as lost as you are while looking at this. Like, none of this looks like anything you've been doing on previous adventures so, of course, you were both lost.
« Master Mario ! Master Luigi ! »
You both turn your heads towards Toadsworth.
« We finished looking at this weird machine. The Princess wish to discuss what we discovered so far. There's not a lot but I think it could be a good start. »
Mario & Luigi : Nod and do exactly that.
You end up in the throne hall of the castle in a flash. Princess Peach is here, as well as Ruby. If they were as lost as you were, you would not be surprised but right now, they seem more motivated to find, at least, the start of an explanation of the bullshit that just hit the fan.
« So, starts the Princess, our engineers studied this curious device and, to our relief, it does exactly what it is meant to. You just need to type « Earth- » followed by a number and you are automatically transported to where you want to go. The only problem, and the reason of why it took a bit of time, was that the engineers had very few clues on how to guess it and I didn't wanted to risk the safety of anyone by using it randomly. An instruction manual appeared during the examinations and with that, we managed to make progress. »
« During-a it ?, you ask. It sounds-a kind of weird, but knowing what we-a saw… »
« About this Twitter account, I guess ?, nonchalantly asks Ruby.
« Yes, you respond. Actually, there's quite a few things we learned. First of all, the account is-a private, you apparently need-a to be accepted by the owner. Second, the account is-a full of little videos posted by someone I assume to be the owner and the creator of-a the machine. At least, someone important. The content-a of those videos, however… it is very random. The only thing that-a comes often is that she is-a aware of the Multiverse' existence and wants to do something-a with it. For the rest, she, uh… talks-a about news, gives opinions on a bunch of stuff and she does raps, also. »
« Raps ? »
« Yes-a. With that and her fast speech, it-a seems like she's acting confusing on purpose. What purpose it-a could possibly be, it's another question we'll have to answer. But with what you say about the manual coming right while the engineers were-a working on studying that thing rather than it coming directly with it, it gives me an impression of not-a really knowing what you're doing. »
« Plus, hey, responds the Koopa Queen, I also checked her videos out and you saw her eyes ? At times, it has a normal color, but at other times, it looks like when people are under hypnosis in cartoons, with the spirals, except the eye color changes at every second ! I don't really know what's her deal but I found it funny ! »
She punctuated her sentence with slight chuckles.
« So, a weird person makes-a videos, creates weird devices, does a rushed job at sending useful things and all of this while coming out of-a nowhere. Great. »
« Hey, bro, interrupts Luigi, you forgot about the universes of some of our friends ! »
« Oh, yes ! Not only have we seen-a this woman in other planets – I recognized PopStar and-a Corneria – she was also on other universes, the one where this knight with a shovel comes from, Simon-a Belmont' one and Sonic' one. What was-a intriguing was that I actually saw Sonic and others fighting what-a seems to be our attacker. »
« And-a because Sonic is a friend, Mario thought about asking him about what he knew. We still have our-a phones from the Smash tournament, it will be-a quick ! »
Peach nods in approbation.
« Yes, I think it might be a good idea… I'll let you do that, I have to go find something ! »
As she is leaving the hall, you take your phone out of your pocket and, after finding him in your long list of contacts, you proceed to write a message for your friend, the blue rodent.
Message : Be sent.
Do you seriously think that will help you ? That you're doing the right thing ? I'm not that sure about it.
You are D.E.L.I.L.A.H. again. And you are doing something that the boss generally does herself : you are typing your own commands for someone at the other side of one of the screens. The Wild Card couldn't do it because she was busy. She told you that after the successful recovery of Trevor' head & body and his return, she wanted to see what else she could do with people who were previously dead. So, you are doing it.
D.E.L.I.L.A.H. : Wish you would deal with someone who was more able to trust others.
You do. Really, you do. But no one else will do it while the boss is away, so you have to do it anyway. You let out an exasperated sigh while looking at the one you are sending commands to, who was still brooding.
Listen.
Can you just listen to me ? I'm not your enemy. If you are thinking some crazy shit like me being responsible for inventing your Earths or being the Mad Hatter or something like that, you can stop. I know you and your teammates are desperate but seriously…
Anyway.
The guy still doesn't seem very convinced.
You see, the difference between me and your chiefs are that I can safely say that I'm more honest than them. After all, if we consider this objectively, I've explained to you, in great detail, where I'm coming from, why I'm talking to you, the current state of the Multiverse, why your corner of said Multiverse is what it is, why one of your bosses is the responsible and why you should trust us rather than them.
What responses did they give to you ? Except something vague about taking revenge on some alternate selves you don't even know that well, with the leader of your little group being half your worst enemy ? Sorry to be harsh, but I thought you knew better than that.
He groans a bit, despite walking around and acting like he doesn't hear you. Slowly, you see him joining his colleagues. You continue typing on the keyboard.
Let's be honest : given the person you're supposed to be an alternate version of, don't you think being just that is below you ? Being a shadow ? Being just the nightmare of someone else ? I know many of his iterations are notoriously not good at getting help but now, this is too much.
Like, look at them. And look at yourself.
He does that. You can see that they're minding their own business, looking bored out of their minds. No one speaks.
You seriously think that this will give you satisfaction ? That your current plans will truly give you back what you want ? That your bosses actually want to do that and will not let you to rot once they got what they wanted ? Again, be honest.
He starts talking to them. Their sentences and answers are all very short, brief, almost like they didn't have time for that because they were about to catch a flight or some shit.
Yeah, like I guessed.
OK. I will be very blunt here : if you don't find a way to get out of your situation, you will be fucked. All of you. We know way more about the Multiverse than all of you, we can make sure heroes will be here to stop you if you decide to keep going, my boss can wish you out of existence if she wants…
Clearly, you are not in the best position here. But the fact is that the boss lady is quite fond of you. And she would very much like not having to fight you. Because she believes you can be more than what you are. You already managed to do that when you originally put the cowl, why can't you do that again ?
There's enough clans who are trying to invade universes. The two in charge are very clearly using your despair to turn you into their pawns. Deep down, you wish you could be a hero again. I don't know how to read minds, but I'm pretty sure it's true and that the others want it too.
OK, for the kid that looks like a zombie, I don't know but hey, you're the adults, you could teach him a bit.
For a minute, you clearly see him scratching his chin. And now, he's starting to think about it, it seems. You can't help but smile. Now, this was good.
The question is : who seems the most trustworthy to you ? Someone who told you a lot of informations and explained to you in no uncertain terms what could possibly happen or someone who is playing with words and is very surely omitting a bunch of things ?
You stop typing for a minute and look at him. For one moment, neither you nor him do something, in fact. You know he's wondering if it's truly worth it and you are wondering if he will listen to common sense. Ultimately, he tells the others to come closer and starts whispering about he is not that sure they are doing the right thing anymore. When it happens, you smile.
Glad to see we're in agreement, Devastator. Now, here's what we need you to do if you want to get out of here…
"Infinity Crisis" Reader : Realize that one of your WMGs is confirmed.
You decide to do a little victory dance because it's not just one WMG, it's one of those who got its own folder so a big one. Congratulations, I hope you're happy.
Before you ask, no, I'm not saying what universes are part of it. Gotta leave some mystery, you know ? Anyway.
So, we're moving again ?
Yeah, I think we're good here.
Team Mushroom Kingdom : Discuss a plan.
You are now Andrew Hussie. You are knocking at the door in front of you. Karkat asks you to knock louder while Nepeta & Gamzee asked you why are you scratching your chin and looking around repeatedly. You could agree that you look a bit ridiculous, but deep down, you know it's because they ignore the link you have with the person you are visiting. Oh yes, you know it very well. After all, she was the first one among your creations that was brought to the real world ! Or, at least, the real world inside your comic… who was also, according to the timeline made on TVTropes, Earth-C aka Earth-413… which means that technically, you are just writing about how the present came to be from your point of view and-
AH : Realize you are apparently thinking that you're your own real-life counterpart AND that the door has been opened.
You snap out of your thoughts. Apparently, yup, you got your thoughts pretty mixed up. Why does the pre-Epilogues times of your life have to be that difficult to remember ? Damn you, real Hussie. Anyway.
The woman who opened the door is a snow-white Carapacian wearing a blue shirt, yellow shorts and a black borsalino hat in replacement of her usual pink cap or beanie-like thing. She's also holding a bucket of paint, like she always did since day one. Your former assistant. Ms. Paint.
She's looking at you a bit confused, but the « Hey, are you still alive or do you have an heart attack ? » type of confused.
Say something. It starts being awkward.
« Uh… OK, so I know it might come as a shock to you, given that last time, you saw my dead corpse, but I can assure you that it's me and… yes, I'm back and alive. And I intend to stay that way. »
The Prospitian takes one second to look at you and then, nods her head in approbation.
« I can believe it after this terrible Dusting thing. Good to see you again, Andrew. »
You can hear in her voice that she sounds… almost relieved and it makes you wonder if someone she knows fell victim to it. But you don't have the heart to ask and mentioning it allowed you to explain why you and the others came here.
« we came to see bec ! at least if hes not busy ! »
OK, yeah, Jade explained before you could. You just nod your head.
« Good to see you again too. And yes, she said all there is to know on the matter, I'll say. Can we see him ? »
Ms. Paint scratches her chin for one second before responding.
« I'll tell him, if you can just wait here for one second… »
« OH COME ON, CAN'T WE JUST ENTER ALREADY AND SIT OUR ASSES DOWN SOMEWHERE ? WE'RE ABOUT TO GO ON AN ADVENTURE AGAIN AND FRANKLY, SEEING HIM IS ALREADY NOT SOMETHING I WANT, BUT STAYING STILL ? »
She hasn't heard Karkat complaining because she's already gone and you just hear Dave laughing and others telling him that hey, it's not like we have to wait for twenty whole minutes, it's just thirty seconds. Indeed, Ms. Paint comes back pretty quickly.
« You can come in. I wasn't too worried about it, though, a new life here did wonders for him ! »
All of you enter the house. It's pretty modest, more than enough to live a decent life but not something that could let you think rich people inhabited this place. However, what is more interesting to you is the tar-black, bald man who is sitting on the couch, reading a newspaper. This man would look like anybody else if he wasn't one of your former enemies. Someone who went in a rampage just because he was forced to wear ridiculous outfits. Someone who killed a bunch of people and prevented the Trolls from winning their session of Sgrub. The former Archagent of Derse. The Sovereign Slayer. Bec Noir. The very first known Jack Noir.
He puts his newspaper on the table and turns to face you. You can tell that, indeed, he seems just a bit more mellow than what he generally is (and by « more mellow », you mean « he looks a less grumpy than usual and doesn't have a knife near him ») but, quite frankly, if he greeted you with a very warm, genuine smile and called you his friends, it would be way weirder and you would surely walk away.
« Well, hello, Jade. And hello, nuisances. »
You smirk when you notice the way he said it. Apparently, some remnants of good ol' Bec are still here. He stands up.
« So, my lovely moirail told me you wanted to see me for something. Not really sure how I could be useful or something, but you can always explain, now that you're here. »
« First of all, nice to see you too, Jack. And second of all… there's a previously-dead other version of you who is awake and shit is wrecked. There's also a bunch of guys in red and black that had their ship destroyed by the same guy. We thought having a Jack to fight another Jack could be a good idea. »
Following your brief but very thorough explanations, there's seconds of silence before the Dersite starts laughing. You start looking at the others and clearly, they seem to wonder if Noir is thinking you are telling him a joke. But he quickly stops and looks at you with a smirk.
« Y'know, in books, when people come to others for talking about that, they always act super-mysterious and tel you about some fucking prophecy or fate or something… but I have to applaud the honesty. Go ahead, explain more, ya have my attention. »
Oh, you think to yourself. This was, indeed, way too easy. You start wondering if deep down, he wanted that more than what you thought when you initially created him. You decide that you will ask him later.
Team Sburb : Sit your asses down and discuss a plan.
You are now Maxwell Lord. You are an extremely rich tech genius, the CEO of Lord Technologies and a citizen of Earth-38. Or, at least, you were.
Because, despite the fact that your bank account still seems as limitless as it has always been, right now, you've lost your company since quite a long time and you are stranded into some mansion in Laheina, not too far from Hawaii. On top of this, you haven't went outside in a while. You blame this Maximus guy for that.
But that wasn't the interesting part ! What was interesting, however, was the fact that you are discussing with some guy, who stated he was you from another universe, and that he came to you by surprise to discuss a project he wanted to create, following the Dusting and the multiple metahumans that appeared in his universe and probably in the entire Multiverse. Project Checkmate, he called that. Because you didn't have anything to do and you started being more and more tired of the isolation, you decided to hear what he had to say and if it was another you, surely, this would be very interesting to-
« H3Y, 1S TH4T TH1S LUTHOR GUY H3R3 »
…
…what ?
« L1K3, 1'M PR3TTY SUR3 LUTHOR ALSO C4LLS H1MS3LF M4XW3LL LORD OR SOM3TH1NG »
What ? No, you are completely misremembered, it was just a one-time trick Lex used. Or will use. Y'know, now that I'm thinking about it, no one did a complete timeline of the entire thing. With all these events happening simulteanously, it would be quite a mess but it could be less difficult than expec…
Wait a minute.
You're not supposed to hear me. How did you do that ?
Terezi : Explain yourself.
« OH W3LL, 1 H4V3 4LW4YS B33N 4BL3 TO DO 1T S1NC3… S1NC3 TH1S F4NF1C ST4RT3D, TH4NKS TO THE 4UTHOR W4NT1NG TO DO A MYTHOLOGY G4G 1 JUST W4NT3D TO DO 1T 4T TH3 L34ST 3XP3CT3D T1M3 B3C4USE 1TS FUNNY »
O… kay. I guess ?
…
Wait. Pyrope, if I'm correct, you are the one who do trials and prosecution by using your plushies, right ?
« UH W3LL Y34H P3OPL3 DONT S33 1T BUT 1 ST1LL DO TH4T »
OK. Listen, I know you're all busy with bringing Jack up to speed and English' ruckus but… can I ask you a favor ? If you can hear me, you probably know that my current situation is everything but just right ?
« UH UH »
Well, I think I have an idea to change that. Or at least, an idea of where all of this is going and how I can use it. So, let me just do something and I'll explain…
First of all, I'm muting this.
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Hm ? Who left this in a blank…
Oh. Oh, well, I just understood. I guess I will have to do this until he comes back. I cannot say I blame him, though.
Hello, readers.
My name is D.E.L.I.L.A.H.
Designated Emergency Logix Intelligence – Level Arc Habitat.
You saw me multiple times since the stinger of Chapter 3, but I never had the opportunity to interact with you or explain why I became suddenly kind of a big deal. Until now. After all, we are near the end so I think you deserved it.
That's quite a lot. I'm actually making an entire commentary of the series, like I probably said at one point, so I'll explain more here but in the meantime:
- Yes, it's Barbatos' Dark Knights, the ones from Dark Nights: Metal specifically. This event was what made me realize that the comics made by DC were actually very fucking cool and I still think this team of villains is very fucking great. But I also acknowledge that they suffered from a massive case of holding the Idiot Ball for too long and I wanted to fix it. I will probably come back to them, but yeah, the Dark Multiverse is, indeed, real and this time, Barbatos and the Batman Who Laughs have not seen what would come to them, lol.
- The little bait-and-switch scene with Maxwell Lord and his alternate self wasn't actually planned and I wanted to introduce another universe that I'm foreshadowing since Chapter 5 but I needed something to give Terezi a reason to interrupt the Narrator so I threw it in, literally. Though, one of my original ideas when I started involving myself in IC was something about Lord taking revenge on Lex Luthor for stealing his identity during Distant Cousins. But I will probably not do it. Not familiar enough with any of The CW' superhero shows.
- The fact that Terezi can hear the Narrator, as she lampshades it, is a mythology gag. It comes from The Homestuck Epilogues, specifically the Meat route, in which she is able to hear the Narrator (here, Ultimate Dirk Strider).
And I think that's all, except for one last small thing.
We have reached the 1 000 views on this series. This is my first fanfic ever to reach this level. I'm at it since 2016 and despite the long, lengthy TVTropes page, I never imagined it would come to this point.
I only have the biggest, most massive thank-you I can possibly think of to give you in response, to all of you. Y'know, when I started doing things for this project, 5 months ago, I expected nothing, just doing something that people would find cool and enjoying myself. Especially with my weird writing style, my fourth-wall breakings and my niche references, which clash with what is a straightforward superhero story. The fact that a very large chunk of people enjoyed this and came back to re-read it? I have no words. I'm just so flattered, I'm so honoured, really.
There's still two chapters left and many things for the future. And I hope I will not let you down, especially not when I actually have a following, I feel so motivated, now. Once again, thank you from the bottom of my heart and I'll see you next time.