Her spirit was broken after the death of Ser Barristan Selmy. Rhaena no longer cared to laugh or smile. She remained silent as the grave, standing vigil for the honoured knight all through the dark hours after they had been found and retrieved. Grey Worm still lived, though she did not go to see him. She stayed with Ser Barristan, standing her vigil as she knew he would have wanted, cleaning and dressing him herself before resting his sword upon his breast and placing his hands over the hilt. Long after her task was done, Rhaena did not remove her own hand from his. Even as his turned colder than stone she did not draw back, but simply stood there and looked at him with an emptiness that could not shift. Daario stood with her through the night to respect the fallen knight and to be there for Rhaena should she need him, but in truth she did not even realise he was there. Neither did she notice when Daenerys arrived come the morning, or even when Hizdahr Zo Loraq arrived in order to offer his condolences. "I am so sorry, my queen. He was a good man." A good man? Rhaena began to hear their voices and she almost laughed bitterly. Ser Barristan was far more than just a good man. He was one of the greatest.
"Barristan the Bold, they called him. He crossed a continent to serve me. He was a loyal friend…and he died in an alley, butchered by cowards who hide behind masks." Daenerys could not bring her eyes away from the face of the man she had respected and come to love as a friend, but even now she could only imagine what her own sister must be feeling. Ser Barristan had been her advisor and guard, but to Rhaena he had been far more. He had been her confidante and her protector, her tutor and her friend as well as everything else she needed him to be to help her survive her earliest years in a place where everyone else wanted her dead. The loss would cut her far deeper.
"We could pull back to the pyramid district, secure it, and use it as a base from which to operate." Stepping forwards in order to offer his suggestion, Daario looked to his queen and keenly felt the depths of her sadness. "Then we clean the city out, neighbourhood by neighbourhood, street by street, until the rats have nowhere left to hide." She considered these words, but it was to her sister she looked. Still Rhaena had not stirred. It was as if she too had become nothing more than a frozen body who stared unblinkingly into Ser Barristan's face. To see her in such a state sparked her inner rage and she wanted nothing more than to lash out at those who had caused her sister such hurt.
"I prefer your earlier suggestion. Round up the leaders of each of Meereen's great families and bring them to me." At this Hizdahr looked to Daenerys in confusion, unable to determine her meaning as he slowly frowned to her.
"But…I'm the leader of my family." With a nod to two of his men who had guarded the door, they both seized hold of Hizdahr in order to drag him away as the alarm finally struck him and the danger of his predicament became known. "No, Your Grace! I had nothing to do with this. Your Grace!" Whether he was involved or not, neither Daenerys nor Rhaena cared. They simply went back to looking upon Ser Barristan as they sought to find some kind of resolve within them to accept his passing. Daenerys found it easier because of the expectation already pressed upon her shoulders to be a queen. For Rhaena, however, all she could feel was the continuing hollowness like that she had felt after witnessing the death of Talisa and Lady Catelyn, only this time she was in no present danger or required to protect Sansa in order to force her to function. She felt her sister's hand hold hers briefly before then withdrawing, leaving her to continue her mourning. Even after they sealed Ser Barristan inside a beautiful coffin gilded with gold Rhaena did not speak. She saw the ship off as it set sail for Westeros in order to take the body back to his homestead of Harvest Hall to be buried where he belonged. It was the hardest thing to let him go, but she had known it to be right. Now she felt lost and no amount of comforting from loved ones could absolve her. Not Sansa, not her sister, even Myrcella offered her condolences and tenderness to Rhaena with Trystane, but Rhaena could only nod her head in acceptance.
Her throat ran dry, and no amount of drink could moisten it, so she drank and drank until her head spun and her mind reeled. She did not feel so low then, so she drank more. Soon it was all she could do and even then, it was not enough. She wanted to feel something, and in her hazed thoughts she managed to reason that the best way to feel something was by either killing or making love. At least, that was what Bronn had told her once long ago. The only people she wanted to kill were the Sons of the Harpy but since they had returned to their hovels and buried their heads once again, no one knew who or where they were, so making love was her only remaining choice. Damning everything else, Rhaena took a purse of silver and went into the night to find the choicest establishment that would cater to her needs. Living in the pyramid district meant that everything was upper class, and that included the brothels. They were easily found and Rhaena entered one with a confident stride, not caring for anything other than getting what she wanted. The only thing was, she now did not know exactly what she wanted, and when the boy who greeted her asked, she could not think how to respond. Only now was Rhaena beginning to grow sober, groaning as she touched her throbbing head and looked at her surroundings.
Bright silks draped from ceiling to floor with incense burning from a lit brazier, filling the room with a light, sweet scented haze. The room was predominantly filled with male customers with women strewn across their laps and knelt at their feet, rubbing their bodies and coaxing them gently with practiced hands, though Rhaena did spy one or two ladies of high birth being attended to by young boys. Very young boys. Rhaena's skin began to crawl. What on earth had she been thinking? "My lady?" The boy prompted once more, uncertain of what he should do. A hand suddenly came to rest upon his shoulder.
"Leave this to me, Foren. I shall take care of our guest." Hearing an exotically accented tone, Rhaena turned herself in order to find a pair of liquid black eyes looking back at her. They were deep and soulful, rich and unyielding. So entranced by these fine eyes, Rhaena did not notice the rest of the man who stood before her. In truth it took a moment for her vision to settle as it was shifting rather unhelpfully as she frowned, staggering upon her feet from excessive drinking. "Perhaps you are lost, my lady? Shall I call for a litter to carry you home?"
"No…I do not want to go back. I just…I needed some air." Now able to see a little better, Rhaena began to look at the rest of the man before her and was shocked by how handsome he was. No, handsome was not quite the correct word, but Rhaena could barely think as it was and was unable to think of it in that moment. In any case, the man before her was a stunning specimen and exactly to her taste. Inky black curls lay in abundant springs across his eyes and down his neck, his jaw neatly trimmed with fine black hairs which were well kempt and shaved perfectly, framing a wideset mouth which held sensuous looking lips which drew a great deal of Rhaena's attention. Clothed in fine but not extravagant silk, he wore very little adornments, but enough to signify that he was a man of means without indicating vanity.
"Then may I offer you a room in which to take rest, my lady? Perhaps a little time off your feet might help." Blearily aware that she was nodding her head, Rhaena felt her hand be taken up and gently placed in the crook of the man's arm, allowing her fingers to feel the softness of his silk robe as she was led to a room within the brothel where she could sit for a while. She felt entirely foolish for appearing in such a manner. She was the queen's sister, she could not be seen entering brothels in the middle of the night. Yet, Rhaena found that she did not care. Not in that moment, in any case. She was simply glad to be out of that place and away from all of them even if it was just for one night. Too many people tended to crowd around her when all she wanted was to grieve in peace. They fussed and they worried and it drove her mad. Here she strangely found a semblance of peace, quietness coming over her as she was brought to a private room furnished with a bed, chairs, loungers, thick fur rugs and refreshments already being served. "Will this be sufficient, my lady?"
"I am sorry," it was all Rhaena could manage to say as she began to choke on her own desire to sob. "I am sorry to cause you such trouble. I am sorry…I am sorry…" She did not even make it to a seat. Her legs buckled beneath her and she dropped to the ground where she sat uselessly as the tears began to flow. "I am sorry…"
"Please…please stop apologising, my lady. You have nothing to apologise for. Here. Drink this, it is honey and iced milk." Alarmed to see such a sudden deterioration in his guest's condition, the stranger helped Rhaena to her feet in order to all but carry her to a seat before coaxing her to drink, holding the cup and tilting it to her lips before then using his own sleeve to dab away at the excess and her tears. "What has caused you such sorrow, my lady?"
"My father…butchered in the streets…gone…" Rhaena moaned and drew her knees to her chest in order to bury her face there as she began to apologise repeatedly once more, though the stranger now worried if perhaps she was begging forgiveness from this father of hers rather than apologising for anything she had done. He sympathised with her deeply and soon made the connection. He knew who she was. Of course he did. It was impossible not to know those silver-white locks and violet eyes. She was a Targaryen, one of two in the entire city and since he doubted greatly that the queen would ever be allowed from the pyramid without a guard, he could only assume this was her sister, known as Rhaena Targaryen, and the father she referred to was the knight who had been killed by the Sons of the Harpy. It was all anyone was talking about at present. It was one thing to hear it as a rumour and another thing entirely to be faced with the sobbing woman who had lost the man who had been her father figure in the flesh. "Sorry…I will leave. I should not stay here…"
"You do not have to go anywhere you do not wish to, my lady. What man would turn out a weeping woman into the streets? You are not yourself. Better stay here where you are safe, at least until I can call for someone to come and fetch you." But Rhaena did not want anyone to know where she was and adamantly shook her head. "Then you will stay here. This room is yours."
"I…I can pay…" Her silver was turned away and Rhaena blinked, staring at the handsome stranger before her. "What would the owner of this establishment say if he were to learn you were giving away rooms meant for service without charge? I do not wish to give you trouble." A broad smile appeared and Rhaena marvelled that the stranger had a dimple in one of his cheeks.
"I am certain I can persuade him to be forgiving. Now, my lady. How might I help you to feel better? Tell me why you came here. You entered this establishment with such fierceness. I was quite impressed." A rosy blush touched Rhaena's cheeks as she winced, inhaling deeply to try and calm herself before rubbing at her face.
"It was a silly notion really…I felt so empty inside that I thought I might as well try and feel something, and pleasure is the easiest to attain. So, I decided to find a brothel and pay for services, however when I arrived the drink had begun to wear off and I was growing sober." She flushed deeper. "When the boy asked me my preference…I only then realised where it was I had come to." The stranger laughed heartily as he helped himself to a drink, having settled himself upon the cushions by Rhaena's feet. He offered her some more honeyed milk which she accepted, the sweetened liquid helping to refresh her a little. "I have never felt so humiliated in all my life."
"Do not worry, many a man has done exact the same thing. Drank too heavily and stumbled across our threshold. Some panic and flee when the realise what they are doing. It is always material of great amusement to observe." Daring to lift her eyes and look at the stranger, Rhaena began to wonder exactly who he was. He seemed to work here for he knew its layout and had the authority to take over a private room for her sake, and yet she did not imagine he was a working boy, for he was not a boy at all. He seemed to be older than her by a few years at least. Perhaps he had worked this trade when he was younger and when he became too old to be desirable by most men and women, had begun working in a different manner. She realised with a start that she did not even know his name. Asking him shyly, she was gifted with a warm and sincere smile. "Kaydyn, as it please you my lady."
"I am Rhae. You may call me Rhae, if you like." She returned softly and felt a warm fluttering in her chest as her body began to grow hot. This was not the same sensation as when her magic came alive, however. This felt far more basic and primal, a natural heat that awoke from desire. Her eyes followed his movements, the way his hands lightly grasped his cup, long yet firm and she began to imagine what it might feel like for those hands to touch her skin and knead at her flesh. The heat intensified. "Have you always lived in Meereen?" Kaydyn answered Rhaena's questions as they came for all Rhaena really wanted was to listen to him speaking. She loved the way his tone rolled off his tongue in that glorious manner, deep and seductive even without intention. When his hands brushed against hers to refill her cup Rhaena wanted to grasp hold of him and pull him to her but restrained herself from doing so, though Kaydyn, who was well trained in seeing what women would wish to hide, was already aware that Rhaena found him attractive. He moved closer and lowered his voice so that she had to lean towards him in order to hear him, taking his hand in order to rest it upon her leg where a delightful little intake of air followed. He smiled to her, now going quiet. To her credit her gaze did not waver. She was not afraid, only curious, and that excited him greatly. He liked the fire she possessed.
"You said that you came her in order to feel something, my lady." He spoke to her softly, allowing his hand to now rise to her face so that his fingers might pull lightly through the loose locks of her hair and trail against the milk-white porcelain of her skin. "If you allow me, I can help you."
"I do not intend to make you lower yourself just for the sake of my own emotions, Kaydyn." Her response surprised him. Refusing despite her desire, and for his sake. He liked her more and more. "After you have treated me so well, to further use you would be discourteous."
"It would not be discourteous if it is also what I desire, my lady. In any case, I would not be lowering myself for you who stand above all other ladies ever to walk this earth." Ghosting his hand down her face, neck and her shoulders, Kaydyn lifted his face so that their lips were only a breath away. The decision had to be hers. If she told him no once again he would pull away and say nothing more on the matter. It was her right to decide for she knew herself best, but Kaydyn hoped that she would not.
"You know who I am." It was not a question, and her eyes were still fixated upon his unflinchingly. Kaydyn nodded. "Tell me true. Do you seek to have me for conquest? I have never lain with a man before. You would be my first. Is it your intent to have me for a prize and boast to others how you were the first to bed the Princess of House Targaryen?" This time Kaydyn shook his head, refusing to break contact with the intense gaze of the princess. He told her that this was not his intention, that he was a man of discretion and privacy, and that he did not even have to take her maidenhead if that was her wish. There were many ways for a woman to feel pleasure without the final act itself, and Kaydyn was willing to do anything and everything Rhaena wanted just to help her feel more herself again and to forget the grief she carried in her heart. Magic flowed through her and Rhaena judged that Kaydyn was telling her the truth. Because of this, she decided that she would allow herself to do as she willed and ignore what propriety demanded. She wanted heat and flesh and love. Even if the love was only of the body. It would be enough for her to fulfil her for one night at least, and perhaps for many others. So, with her decision made, Rhaena slowly raised her hands in order to place them upon Kaydyn's neck, gingerly brushing her thumbs against his jaws whilst tilting her head, regarding him with a hint of a curve upon her lips. "You will have to teach me."
"As my lady commands." Smiling, Kaydyn drew her towards him and lifted her chin to angle it correctly. The distance was closed by her, and when their lips met it was a simple, pleasant and impassionate kiss. It was one of tenderness and understanding, one of respect. Rhaena appreciated it more than she could say, slowly learning the movements as Kaydyn guided her into his lap and opened his mouth a little for hers to shape to his. It was a lovely sensation, but Rhaena wanted more. Breaking away from Kaydyn, she told him so in no uncertain words, telling him to make her feel everything womanly possible and to hold nothing back from her. Smiling once again, Kaydyn bowed his head. "As my lady commands." Then he lunged for her, capturing Rhaena in his arms and began to press feverish kisses to her mouth and her neck, rubbing fiercely at her back and waist which caused tight throated gasps to burst intermittently from her. Soon enough Kaydyn was pulling at her clothing to bare her shoulders and chest, sweeping her into his surprisingly strong arms to carry her to bed and lay her down, stepping back to take off his own robe and shirt but removed nothing else as of yet. Instead he lay beside Rhaena and began to teach her the secrets of her own body, his fingers dancing over her as if she were an instrument and learning the tunes she sang most sweetly. Rhaena thought she knew her intimacies well, but it was nothing compared to this and soon she was making sounds so lewd that she blushed to hear them.
Kaydyn had not intended to take Rhaena's maidenhead at all that night, but upon feeling herself reach her peak and shudder under his ministrations, Rhaena wanted to feel more. She had pulled at his britches and unlaced him in order to all but demand more and Kaydyn could not refuse her. He wanted to give her everything she desired and felt fortunate that this seemed to include him that night. Rhaena felt no shame in asking him questions, learning about the art of making love as they had touched and felt one another and Rhaena was allowed to closely study Kaydyn's manhood, for it was the first time she had been exposed to one so closely. She asked him about differences in sizes and length, about how exactly a man feels his own pleasure and how best to stimulate him and other places she might touch to make a man quiver as she had. Kaydyn answered them each honestly and found himself laughing at her bluntness. They smiled often at one another, rolling amongst the sheets with their giggles and kisses until Rhaena felt brave enough to touch him. Her hand barely covered the base of his manhood he was so large and Rhaena wondered how it would all fit. He told her that they did have to go any further, that they could stop whenever she wanted, but Rhaena had no intention of stopping. She wanted to learn. She wanted to feel. She could not stop now. It was far too late for that. So instead she pressed Kaydyn onto his back in order to straddle him, looking at him with a determined yet lusty gleam as she began to rock herself almost instinctively up and down his length, feeling him against the wet folds of her womanhood. Kayden clenched and muttered a curse, his grip tightening upon Rhaena. "Does that feel good?"
"Yes…yes sweeting, it feels very good." Pleased with herself, Rhaena smiled and nodded. Looking down, she reached between them in order to press the tip of Kaydyn's member against her before then turning to him for confirmation. "Just like that. Ease down slowly. You will be stretched the first time, but if it hurts too much you can stop. We can always stop." Touched that Kaydyn seemed insistent upon reminding her that she was the one in control and held the power to decide when she could not go on any further, she smiled and reached out her hand in order to press her palm to his cheek.
"I doubt very much you this will be more painful than anything I have already endured." And with that, she rocked her hips forwards and lowered herself down all at once in one swift, smooth movement. Both Kaydyn and Rhaena arched themselves and released a tangled cry. It was not painful, at least not in the same way Rhaena was used to. In fact, it felt more like the ache one felt after training for long hours, the deep kind that sat in the muscles and flesh before heat could soothe it away. It felt like that, but also like being stretched at the same time. Kaydyn had entered her so smoothly that he was sheathed fully to the hilt, and he could feel Rhaena around him, taut and hot. It intensified when she moved. He throbbed when she shifted herself to adjust her position, grunting softly with his eyes tightly pressed shut but this only prompted Rhaena to move again, studying his expressions and responses with each movement or motion she made. It was a learning experience for her, and she wanted to gather as much information as she could in order to better her own skill, however eventually she began to give over to her own body's demand for stimulation, so she moved of her own volition without thinking, rolling her hips as Kaydyn struggled to keep still. Both found their release, Kaydyn unsheathing himself before spilling his seed, however in his lust imbued mind all he wanted was for more. More of her. More of what she did to him. Kaydyn grasped hold of Rhaena and flung himself over her even as he caught his breath and regained his senses.
Stopping himself before he could become too carried away, Kaydyn then realised that Rhaena had snapped her legs around his waist and positioned herself beneath him, ready for him once again. Her chest heaved and Kaydyn found himself unable to look away from the heaving mounds of her breasts. "Again. Again…please Kayd…once more…just once more…" Helpless before such pleas, Kaydyn sealed his mouth to Rhaena's and thrust himself inside her so that her cry became swallowed by him. They made love repeatedly in various fashions, their bodies desiring more and more of one another until both were entirely spent and fell tangled together upon the sweat soaked silks of the bedding. Neither could speak. Neither wanted to. At least not just yet. In the end Rhaena summoned the energy to lift herself up and place a chaste kiss to Kaydyn's face, whispering goodnight to him before turning over and going to sleep. Kaydyn stayed awake a long while yet, staring at the woman beside him as his mind still reeled from the experience. Never in all his life had a woman made him so…alive, like her touch filled him with a fire he had not known he had been wanting. He hoped she would come back. Prayed she would come back. Kaydyn would happily take her to his bed, and even more happily become her lover. Just so long as he could sometimes be allowed to touch her and look upon her face, then nothing would give him greater contentment. Smiling one final time, he too turned over and allowed himself to sleep.