a couple of notes beforehand:
1. this chapter has a lot of battling in it. I've never been any good at writing Pokémon battles so if there's anything wrong or seems silly in those scenes, that's why ;-;
2. i wanted to say thank you to everyone supporting this fic and coming back to read it every chapter, I was a little hesitant to post it at first because I've seen a lot of unnecessary hate for this ship, but as a bi female that's mostly attracted to women the support is rly heartwarming so thank you all :3
It's hard to keep my revelation to myself. It's even harder to think about anything else at all. It follows me into my dreams when I finally manage to fall asleep in the dark, Goh already sleeping on the other side of the bed, as far from me as he can get. In my dream, I see Malamar again, but this time I'm too far away. This time, when I try to move, it's like I'm frozen to the ground. I'm forced to watch as Goh steps off the edge, this time disappearing from view, and I call out his name as he does. I shoot up in bed, jerked out of the dream, terrified.
"Ash?" Goh says groggily, stirring. He's moved closer to me in his sleep, and his face had been just inches from mine, our noses practically touching. "You okay?"
"Yeah, just a nightmare," I say, standing and heading to the bathroom, where I stand and stare in the mirror for a moment, before splashing cold water on my face, willing myself to stop being so stupid.
When I get back, Goh is sleeping again, his face buried in the pillow, still too close to my side. I slide back in, trying not to disturb him, but I can feel the heat of his body on my back. I close my eyes and suck in a breath through my nose, trying to clear my head. It takes a while to fall back asleep.
— — — —
I wake to the sound of Dawn knocking on our door, and calling in that we need to get dressed if we want to make it in time for the contest. I jerk away from Goh, because we were lying very, very close, and he's still waking up, rubbing his eyes groggily. The night before comes crashing back, playing over in my mind like a drunken memory I'd almost forgotten. I cringe inwardly, wanting to curl in on myself and die. Why the fuck did I think it was a good idea to admit that I think I'm gay?
"Good morning," he groans beside me, arm draped over his eyes.
"Morning," I groan back, sitting up. "Can we agree not to talk about last night ever again?"
He raises his arm, looking up at me, eyebrow raised. "Why?"
"I don't know. I'm just absolutely mortified by it." I actually shiver, and rub my hand up my arm to quell the goosebumps. "I think I was just having a moment."
He shakes his head, frowning. "It's not embarrassing to be gay, you know."
I go white, horrified. "I know, I just-"
"I'm joking." He's grinning. He's winding me up. I roll my eyes and throw the covers off me and onto him, covering him as I stand up. He laughs from under them, and the sound makes my whole body burn up. I breathe in through my nose, bracing myself for the day ahead, and convincing myself that I won't get stuck on my realisation from last night.
I get dressed in the bathroom, in a crew neck sweater and jeans, then wait for Goh to do the same. I mess around with my hair in the mirror, pushing it back and forth, trying to find a position I like it in, but ultimately giving up. When we emerge from the room Dawn is waiting in the hallway, tapping her foot on the carpet impatiently.
The drive is a lot calmer than last night's attempt. There's no traffic, and I manage to get there in an hour and a half. Only when we get closer does the traffic get a little thicker, and I have to wind in and out of it, driving straight to the stadium.
I pull up in the busy parking lot, and as we step out, I see cameras, and they're all pointing at me. I'm immediately swarmed, having microphones shoved in my face. I remember Leon telling me I should probably have a security team follow me when I'm attending public events, but I had never wanted anything like that. That would make me seem… important, and I hardly feel it. Now I kind of wish I'd listened to him, though.
Dawn pushes through the crowd, actually growling at a couple of people that reach out to touch me. It's a continuous battle until we step indoors, and I exhale sharply, relief flooding over me.
"How do you ever get used to that?" Goh asks, and he almost seems to be in awe.
"You don't," I sigh. "I hate it."
"I can't believe I'm friends with a celebrity," he says, half joking. I turn away to hide my blush.
"Well, look who it is," a voice drifts over from closer to the registration desk. I recognise it immediately, and my head snaps in Leon's direction. He's grinning at me, his beard slightly longer and his eyes a lot older. The breath rushes out of me at the sight of him.
"Leon." I grin as he approaches, and open my arms to hug him. He pats me on the back and pulls away, grinning down at me. It's been a couple of years since I found time to visit him.
"Wow. Look at you." He raises his eyebrows, looking me up and down. Sometimes it's still strange to me that I'm the same height as him, if not a little taller, when I spent so many years looking up to him, in more ways than one.
"It's good to see you." I smile. He puts a hand on both of my arms and gives me a little shake.
"Same to you." He looks around and sees Dawn, Chloe and Goh for the first time. His eyebrows shoot up before he can stop them. "Goh. What a nice surprise."
Leon knows I hadn't spoken to Goh for a long, long time. He doesn't know the details, but he knows enough to be surprised to see him. Goh smiles awkwardly and says something I don't hear because I zone out completely, thinking about how strange this encounter is.
"Are you competing?" Leon asks me after a few moments. I nod, smiling.
"Are you?" I ask. He shakes his head, crossing his arms.
"Nah. But Hop is, so I came to watch him."
"Hop's here?" I say, looking around, and finally spotting him at the registration desk, signing up. He finishes right as I notice him, and turns back towards us, waving wildly and jogging over. I haven't seen him in almost three years, and he looks a lot older now. His hair is longer, kind of like his brothers, and he's still wearing pretty much the same thing he always did- a blue denim jacket and black pants.
"Wow. Hey Ash, and Goh? I almost didn't recognise you," he says to Goh. Once his gaze falls on Goh, it doesn't leave him, and something in his eyes has me tensing up involuntarily.
"We should catch up while you're here," Leon says before Goh can reply. I like that idea, so I nod.
"Yeah. You're not doing anything after the contest?" I ask Leon.
"We are now," Hop replies for him, still looking at Goh, his gaze intense. I steal a glance back at Goh, to see if he has that same look in his eye, but he's looking back at me, biting the inside of his cheek nervously. My face warms and I turn away again.
"We should get registered," Dawn says anxiously, tugging on my sleeve.
"Right," I say, stepping away. "We'll catch you after. Good luck, Hop." I wave back at them, and the four of us head to the desk to sign up.
Once registrations are complete, we have to wait our turn to compete in the first round. There are a lot more competitors than there usually are, so it takes quite some time for us to have our turn. I'm not nervous- I lost all remaining nerves I had years ago after performing countless times in front of huge, huge crowds. However, I am a little shaky, because contests aren't my strongest suit, and the roar of the crowd is so loud when I step out that I feel a massive weight on my shoulders, like the expectations have never been higher.
I try to focus on the contest, and send forth Pikachu to perform. It's a pretty simple routine- I use 10,000,000 Volt Thunderbolt, because z-moves aren't banned for the first round, and have Pikachu use Volt Tackle to run along the bolts of lightning it produces, finishing off by jumping high into the air and using Iron Tail down towards the ground, crashing with extreme speed and sending off wild sparks of electricity everywhere.
The crowd goes wild, even though I didn't think it was anything too spectacular. I stand and wave awkwardly, rubbing the back of my neck with my spare hand as Pikachu jumps back onto my shoulder. We back out back into the waiting room, where Dawn claps for me, grinning.
"That was great!" She chirps, sticking her hand up. I never leave her hanging, so I give her the high five she's waiting for. Chloe's up next, and I can tell she's nervous, but she doesn't need to be, because her performance with Eevee is fantastic. When she comes back out, Dawn jumps on her and kisses her, and I pretend to be grossed out just to annoy her.
Some time after, Dawn performs. She's a professional, and so hers is infinitely better than mine. Piplup hasn't gotten any slower with age. The crowd goes just as wild for her as they did for me, and I'm proud of her. It warms me to see how far she's come since we met ten years ago.
Goh is one of the last to perform. I have no idea what he's planning, and so it's a shock when he releases Suicune. The audience gasps, and rightly so, because it's very rare for someone to bring a legendary Pokémon to a contest. Suicune doesn't need to do much to be beautiful, but it does all the same, dancing on water in midair, its hair flowing behind it, the ribbons twisting elegantly around it. I watch in awe, hardly even blinking until his performance is over.
In this contest, only four contestants will make it through to the second round. Honestly, I'm not too fussed if I do or don't. Hop performs last, then joins us where we're waiting for the results, sitting on the bench beside Goh. They start to talk quietly under their breath, and I'm too far away to hear any of it, so I try to ignore the raging jealousy in my chest. I'm being unfair.
The screens do eventually flicker back on, and the host is there, ready to reveal who's made it through to the next round, to the 2v2 battles waiting.
"The first contestant progressing to the next round is…" She does her dramatic pause. "Chloe!"
"Nice!" Dawn shouts, throwing her arms around Chloe's shoulder and pulling her into her. Chloe blushes, looking down as though she's shy.
"And, facing her in the first battle will be… Dawn!"
Dawn winces, stealing a glance at Chloe, but she seems determined now, glaring back at her girlfriend with a burning fire behind her eyes. I know they've battled before, when Dawn has been trying to help Chloe train, but I don't think they've ever battled one another in an arena.
"The second battle of the next round will be between… Ash and Goh!"
I had kind of expected that, so it doesn't come as a surprise, but I still bite the inside of my cheek, stealing a glance over at him, only to catch him looking back at me. He grins at me, letting me know he's okay with this. I smile back, then turn back to the screen.
"Come on," Dawn says, standing and holding out her hand for Chloe. "We're up."
As Dawn and Chloe step out onto the field, the presenter announces them as girlfriends. The crowd goes wild, and my face burns as I watch how unapologetic they are about the whole thing. How little they care what people think. How little people actually care at all. I wonder if that could ever be me.
I can feel Goh watching me, and wonder if he's thinking the same thing. I don't look back, just stare at the screen as the battle starts, and Dawn sends out Lopunny to battle Chloe's Galarian Rapidash. Admittedly, I'd expected Dawn to sort of wipe the floor with Chloe, but just seconds into the battle, it's clear that it's not going to play out that way. Rapidash knows Psycho Cut, which is incredibly strong, and when one lands on Lopunny, she looks like she can barely stand, using one of her ears to push herself up, grimacing and firing an ice beam that just connects in time, freezing Rapidash, but Rapidash breaks out instantly, flying into Lopunny with a Take Down, and knocking her out.
The camera pans to Dawn, but she doesn't seem annoyed. She seems proud, and full of love for Chloe. Next is Piplup, and Dawn doesn't waste any time, immediately ordering him to use Ice Beam, which luckily freezes Rapidash again. This time, though, it can't break out in time, and Piplup lands a Headbutt, breaking the ice and knocking Rapidash out at the same time. Chloe's next Pokémon is Boltund. When Chloe moved into her own place with Dawn, Yamper had wanted to go with her, and the Professor had allowed it. Shortly after, it evolved, and the Professor traded it to Chloe officially, making it her Pokémon. I remember her showing me for the first time, and thinking it was the fastest Pokémon I'd ever seen.
It shows me that again, dancing around Piplup almost playfully, its tongue lolling out of its mouth. Piplup looks like he's getting dizzy trying to keep track, until Boltund leaps into the air and strikes down with a thunderbolt that lands a direct hit. The crowd makes noise, and I expect Piplup to be out, but when the smoke clears he's still standing, and he's been charging up a hydro pump. The hydro pump hits Boltund, still mid-air, sending him crashing down hard. Both Chloe and Dawn recoil from the crash, throwing their arms over their faces as sand is thrown up. I hold my breath, waiting for it to clear. Slowly, they're both revealed, both still standing, staring each other down. Ultimately, it's Boltund that crumbles first, collapsing to the ground with a sigh. Piplup shoots a grin back at Dawn, despite barely being able to stand, and Dawn gives him a thumbs up, grinning back.
The presenter announces Dawn as the winner, and I glance at Goh, knowing I have minutes until we're out there. He's busy listening to Hop, who's wishing him luck. Dawn and Chloe step back in, both looking a little windswept but happy. Pikachu jumps from me onto Lopunny's shoulder, chirping happily. Lopunny blushes and scratches the back of her neck, embarrassed at whatever Pikachu is saying to her.
"You're really good, Chloe," Hop says. "You too, Dawn."
"Thanks," they say in unison, then smile at each other again.
"Well," Goh starts, pushing himself up off the bench. "I don't think I stand much of a chance here against Leon 2.0, but it's worth a shot."
"You never know," Hop says, grinning up at him. I wonder if Goh can tell he's clearly been flirting for the last twenty minutes. Ignoring the urge to glare at him, I stand and give Goh a quick nod before heading out into the arena as they call for me.
My mind is spinning as I step onto my space, Pikachu on my shoulder again. The noise of the crowd makes it hard to hear anything the presenter is saying. I'm lost in my own thoughts anyway. I've been participating in battles for over eleven years now, and I've never once hesitated this much beforehand, until now. I almost don't want to participate at all. I glance up at the timer on the board, and the portraits of us both stare down at me.
I realise I'm supposed to be calling my first Pokémon forward, so I send out Dracovish, predicting that he'll use Cinderace. He does, and the clock starts ticking down.
I go into auto-pilot. Cinderace uses Pyro Ball, and I know Dracovish isn't fast enough to dodge it, so the best strategy is to take it head-on. Dracovish is strong, and can take a lot of hits, so he charges right through, and clamps down on Cinderace with Fishious Rend. Cinderace yelps, and I know Goh will try to counter with a Blaze Kick with Cinderace's free leg, so I order Dracovish to let go right away, and as he's jumping back, use a point-blank Water Gun, which is a direct hit, knocking Cinderace to the ground.
He manages to stand, but I can tell he's close to his limit. I also know that Goh's smart enough not to come close, to avoid being grabbed by Fishious Rend again. As I predicted, he orders Cinderace to run around Dracovish, much like Boltund did with Piplup in Dawn and Chloe's battle. Cinderace flies around Dracovish, firing off Pyro Ball after Pyro Ball, which Dracovish manages to dodge by the skin of his teeth, but he can't keep up with Cinderace, kicking Pyro Balls like footballs around the field around him, and firing them at him like he's the goal.
Before one can hit, I order Dracovish to jump onto his head and spin, firing Water Gun. I hope he can pull it off before Goh realises what I'm doing, and he does, moving quickly despite his size, and spinning like a Blastoise on its shell, firing Water Gun in a circle around him, sweeping Cinderace off his feet, crashing down to the ground. Dracovish jumps back up, flipping himself the right way up, and fires one last Water Gun down on Cinderace. I know before the dust clears that he's knocked out.
I look up at Goh, almost feeling guilty, but he just smirks, and recalls Cinderace, saying something under his breath. I recall Dracovish too, because I think Inteleon is next, and I want Pikachu this time. I turn and nod at him on my shoulder, and he jumps down, hopping onto the field as Goh throws Inteleon's ball.
Before we start, I look over at him, and he looks back. We hold our eye contact, and there's an intensity in the air so strong that for a moment I forget about the crowd. I forget about the presenter. I forget about the judges. Right now, there's just me and him, and I inhale sharply through my nose as a strong surge of emotions travels right up my body, and I think that this is what I need in my life, for the rest of it.
I snap out of it, calling out to Pikachu to use Electro Web, hoping to be faster than Inteleon and catch it off guard. Inteleon is fast, though, and leaps out of the way in time, listening to Goh's command to use Liquidation, which lands, knocking Pikachu back, but it doesn't seem to do too much damage, so Pikachu strikes back with an Iron Tail, catapulting Inteleon to the ground.
He stands, firing a Snipe Shot up, and Pikachu knocks it back at him with another Iron Tail, forcing Inteleon to jump out of the way, and I order Pikachu to fire Thunderbolt before he's recovered. It lands, and I can tell Inteleon's badly injured. It falls to one knee, growling up at Pikachu, who lands nimbly in front of him, still strong.
Goh shouts for Inteleon to use Mud Shot repeatedly, in an attempt to slow Pikachu down. He tries to hit them back with Iron Tail, but they're coming too fast, and one connects, covering him in mud. It slows Pikachu down considerably, and I think Inteleon might have the advantage now, despite the damage it's taken, because its next Snipe Shot hits before Pikachu can dodge, and now it's his turn to crash to the ground.
Goh calls for Inteleon to use Liquidation again, but people always underestimate how quick Pikachu is, even after a debuff, so I call for him to use Quick Attack, and he zips past Inteleon, who's arm swings and hits nothing but air, and now Pikachu is behind him, and before he's even finished turning to look, Pikachu uses Electro Web again, only this time it lands, sparking over Inteleon, who fizzles out and collapses to the ground with a thump.
Pikachu lands again, a little out of breath but mostly okay, and the presenter announces me as the winner. Pikachu crosses over to Inteleon and nudges him gently, apologising in his own way, but Inteleon sits up and just smiles, petting him on the head.
I cross over to the field, reaching out to shake Goh's hand, as I always do when I finish a battle. He reaches back to me, and as his fingers wrap around my hand, I fight to hide the blush I know is forming, and try to focus on the sound of the crowd instead.
We head back inside to congratulations from Dawn, Chloe and Hop. I can tell Dawn is pumped to be battling me next, and I'm actually pretty excited for it too. On the TV they're busy hyping our battle up, and we have about five minutes to kill until we're on. Nurse Joy comes in and heals up Pikachu and Dracovish.
I think with Dawn, there's a good time the timer will go off before the battle is over. In that case, it's all about who has the most points left, and it could honestly go either way. She's got more flair than me, and is less practical and more graceful when she needs to be, but I rarely ever fail to land a hit, so there's that, too.
When Dawn and I head out, she's waving to the crowd, always the performer. They love her, too, and they scream for her. A few people in the crowd are even holding up signs saying they love her. As I scan the crowd, I see one reading 'Marry Me Dawn!' and laugh out loud.
I try as hard as I can in the battle with Dawn. First it's Togekiss against Dragonite, and Togekiss proves to be the more agile of the two, and manages to dodge more moves than Dragonite does, though neither of them seem to want to go down, and both still look strong two minutes into the battle, despite Dragonite eating a Play Rough. Dawn quickly recalls Togekiss when she starts to slow and sends out Lopunny again, so I switch into Lucario, glancing left at the board in the spare few seconds I have, and see that I'm behind, ever so slightly.
Lopunny is no match for Lucario, though. He lands an Aura Sphere the second he lands on the field. Lopunny manages to tough it out, and fights back with a High Jump Kick, but Lucario manages to grab her leg, and tosses her back down to the ground, knocking her out instantly.
Dawn sends Togekiss back out, but I keep Lucario out, knowing that one good Steel Beam is all I need to knock her out. The timer is ticking, though, and we only have a minute left. We're about even now, despite Dawn's Lopunny being knocked out, and now my competitive side is kicking in.
Togekiss uses Air Slash, and I have Lucario knock it out of the air with Aura Sphere, then launch into the Steel Beam, hoping to connect before they can react.
The timer reaches thirty seconds as the Steel Beam connects. Through the dust I hear the thud of Togekiss hitting the floor, and I know I've won.
The judges come down to congratulate me and hand me the ribbon before I can speak to Dawn. Along with the ribbon, they also give me a voucher for a café nearby, and two tickets to a Pokémon Broadway show that I can use any day this week.
I do a voluntary interview before finally getting away back to the waiting room, where the others are still hanging around. Dawn grins at me as I enter, and pats my back hard when I approach her.
"Congrats, winner," she says. "Your Lucario is insane."
"Thanks." I hold up the voucher for the café and smile. "Let's go."