Requiem of the Goddess

by Yoshiyuki Ly

Goddess of mind, goddess of heart - closed-off without consent, She cannot flourish; unlocked to the universe in trust and control, She protects from all outside influences. Only one sits atop the throne of Shepard's subjectivity. Ashley/FemShep, Liara/FemShep. Miranda/FemShep, Aria/FemShep. Power plays, intense loves. Renegon Infiltrator FemShep. Spans the Mass Effect Trilogy.

91. Pisces - Welcoming Embrace

"Welcome to Our Town!" from Final Fantasy XIV: Endwalker / "Aqua Coma" by Apocalyptica

XCI. Pisces – Welcoming Embrace

(Liara)

Since our mission against the Reapers first began last year in late-November, we had made it this far.

From November, to December, to January and then February, when Shepard had spent Valentine's Day with me. We'd enjoyed our quiet night in on the Normandy, secluded in her private cabin. Earlier that day, I had sent a single red rose to each of the crew as a nice gesture. I hadn't expected to receive notes of thanks from them, about how the gift had made them smile. Then Shepard had made such a romantic dinner. Feeding me, pampering me, I would never forget her sweetness, making me laugh all night long.

And now we had made it to March. The tenth of March. Now to my birthday today.

A century and a decade of years—110 years old. Not much of a milestone in asari years.

Springtime would soon blossom across Earth's northern hemisphere. Or wherever the Reapers hadn't wrought their destruction. I would have loved to spend time with Shepard on her homeworld—if not for everything that went on, obstructing our dreams together. So we had to settle for enjoying the peace on the Citadel. The Normandy made its way there now. We would arrive to the station in the next hour.

Shepard had promised to throw a birthday party for me on the Citadel. I had no idea where she planned on hosting this wonderful party. She would not give me any clues, claiming it was all part of the surprise. Shepard had been hard at work over the past couple of weeks, planning and planning everything down to the detail. While she kept me guessing, I had retreated to my office down on the crew deck, giving Shepard her privacy as she continued with her preparations. But of course, once we reached the Citadel, we wouldn't simply go straight to the party. We had other obligations. Even on my birthday.

Our first order of business: meeting with the Council. Admiral Hackett had requested that Shepard and I join him to speak with the councilors for an update on the war. The admiral also asked us to bring Tali along with us. I presumed they would have more information for her about the Migrant Fleet. I worried for Tali, as she hadn't heard from Admiral Raan in some time. Of course, my best friend insisted on not ruining the mood for my birthday. She had not mentioned her concerns to me. Yet I knew Tali hadn't been sleeping well lately. She couldn't stop imagining the Flotilla, her old home, suffering the worst-case scenario. Whatever that may have been. One way or another, we would all find out soon enough.

For the time being, I finished up a bit of work at my computer. My info drone floated throughout the room behind me, keeping me company. Ever since our adventures with the Shadow Broker, the drone had taken a liking to me. I certainly enjoyed having it around. I had decided to name the drone 'Glyph,' because of its crystalline blue coloration reminding me of, well, glyphs. With Tali's assistance, Glyph had finally started calling me 'Dr. T'Soni' instead of 'Shadow Broker' like before. I'd made the most of the drone's cataloguing capabilities, helping me keep track of my research and white papers. Glyph had greatly improved my already-organized files and folders, adding more quality of life features for me.

Though we still had a bit of fine-tuning left to work on.

"Dr. T'Soni, today is your birthday," the drone helpfully informed me for the third time. "I recommend reading the birthday emails you have received. The Normandy's crew affectionately wished you well."

"Thank you, Glyph," I replied, also for the third time. "I'll read them again now."

I didn't have it in me to lose my patience over these things. Glyph was trying its best. I knew this well.

Smiling over these memories, I re-read all the incredible birthday emails from everyone:

From: Joker – You're old!

Liara,

Happy Birthday!

Hey, fun fact. You're over three times older than me. And Shepard. And Kaidan. And Garrus. And pretty much everyone else except for Samara and Dr. Chakwas. Still can't wrap my head around you being super young for an asari. I guess you've always been the wise doctor on our team, you know? Like you have an old soul. It's a human saying. Don't you just love our weird expressions?!

But yeah, it's been a hell of a ride. I'll never forget getting high out of my mind with you and Kaidan back on Illium. Sucked hardcore when it happened. Looking back on it always makes me laugh, though. Aside from stuff like that, you've been, like, the best executive officer ever. The best XO I've ever served under—uh, aside from Shepard back when she was Anderson's second-in-command. I don't have to worry about anything with you. I know you'll always have our backs. Helps me do my job better.

Can't wait for your birthday party on the Citadel! What do you think we'll get up to? Exciting times sitting around talking? Drinking kid's juice? Oh, how about watching the news? That's fun! No but seriously, I know Shepard won't let us get crazy. Probably for the best. Let's try and make the most of it.

-Joker

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From: Urdnot Wrex – Happy Liara Day.

Liara,

It's a good day today, huh? My people didn't celebrate birthdays before. Bad omens. Now that the genophage is behind us, it's not so bad anymore. We'll get back to the tradition eventually.

Can't believe you're 110 already. Seemed like you were a lot younger when we first met on Therum. You used to be so shy around us. You needed more experiences. You've had them now. Maybe too many. I hate that I couldn't protect you from the worst. I know you're strong enough to take care of yourself. Hell, you've faced down the Reapers. I could never do that. Guess I have a lot to learn from you.

No matter how many years go by, you'll always be my precious blueberry. If you ever need anything from old Wrex, you let me know. We've had lots of good times together. Here's to more of them in the future.

-Wrex

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From: Hackett, Steven – Thank you for your service.

Dr. T'Soni,

I've heard it's your birthday today. Sending my well wishes your way. I apologize for scheduling our meeting with the Council today of all days. Couldn't be helped.

Aside from that, I wanted to thank you for all you've done. As Commander Shepard's XO and second-in-command, you're practically an officer for the Alliance. I'd like to extend our deepest gratitude for your contributions to Earth's military. Your strength and capabilities as an asari biotic are unmatched. Shortly after the war began, the Alliance found a dedicated ally in Thessia and her people. Human relations with the asari continue to strengthen day by day. You have our renewed promise that the Alliance will defend Thessia from the enemy. We won't allow your homeworld to fall to the Reapers.

I'd also like to personally thank you for looking after the commander. Shepard's tough, but she can't do this alone. I worry about the strain she's under. Even though she sees herself as a lone wolf, Shepard's still going because of your love and support. After everyone else has let her down, the commander perseveres because of you. That's a beautiful thing. Please keep doing all you can for her. We need you.

Sincerely,

Admiral Steven Hackett

.

From: Jack – (no subject)

Hey Blue,

So yeah. It's your birthday. Big fucking deal, right?

Don't you think things are kinda awkward with us? Am I allowed to talk to you? Your BFF Tali hasn't even looked at me since she blew up at Deep Azure. It's been over a month. Shit's been tense with her. You've still been super nice to me, though. I don't get it. Aren't you supposed to take her side or whatever?

I thought about quitting the team. Just leaving since Tali wants me gone so much. I don't want to leave Shepard. I don't want to leave you, either. It's like I said. You've still been nice to me. But I guess that's just how you are. Growing up, I wish I had a friend like you. Maybe I wouldn't have turned out so bad.

I'm trying to say you're cool, okay? You're good people. Don't ever change, Liara.

-Jack

.

From: Garrus – Today's the day.

Liara,

Time flies by pretty quickly. Feels like we started this war just yesterday. Now we're a few months in, and we get to celebrate your birthday.

Maybe I shouldn't bring up the past. When we lost you and Shepard, I felt the rest of us fall apart. I lost a lot of myself back then. You remember—I left to Omega, started calling myself Archangel. I had a ton of anger and resentment, so I took it out on those lawbreakers. In some ways, I don't think I fully recovered from all that. It's been hard to talk about it. You've been a great friend to me. Having you around helps me feel normal again.

I shouldn't bring the mood down. What I'm saying is: you and the commander are the glue that holds us together. You keep our team going strong. Some of us see Tali as the heart of our team. Shepard is our strength and direction. You've always been the spirit of our group. That breath of life keeping us going.

I'm confident you'll lead us past the finish line. Looking forward to the party on the Citadel until then.

-Garrus

.

From: Traynor, Samantha – Happy Birthday!

Liara,

Looks like it's our XO's birthday! I'm still flabbergasted by asari ages. Seems unthinkable you all can live to be a thousand years old. We humans can barely manage with a century and a half or so.

Thank you so much for all you've done on the Normandy. Ever since I first signed on, you've been a constant source of stability and guidance for me. You've truly helped me feel like I belong with everyone. I'll never forget your kindness and patience, answering the hundreds of questions I had when I initially joined. You're also incredibly brilliant. Did I ever mention I've read your research on the Protheans? I still go back to your published works every now and then to brush up on my history lessons.

Wishing you a wonderful day, Liara! You deserve it.

-Traynor

.

From: Cortez, Lieutenant – Another year older.

Dr. T'Soni,

Or should I call you Liara? Not too sure. I know we haven't had the chance to chat much outside of work. Perhaps that's my fault. I don't go out of my way to make myself available. I'm really sorry about that.

You've always been so understanding. Feels like you're taking good care of us on the ship. I wish I knew what else to say. Just know that we all appreciate everything you've done. Your kindness radiates through the Normandy every single day. Helps a ton with morale. The crew are doing their best for you and the commander. We're with you one hundred percent.

-Cortez

.

From: Kasumi – Hey you.

Liara,

Surprised to hear from me? I guess I surprised myself when I decided to write this. We never got the chance to speak much back in the day. I did observe you as much as I could. It's what I do, you know?

You're really kind and sweet and thoughtful. But you have your demons, too. Seems unusual. For someone as nice as you are, people would never assume that about you. I like that you're such a well-rounded person. You're not just one thing. You aren't what people might assume. I admire that in you.

I'm happy you and Shepard are still on a good path. Hope to see you together whenever we meet again.

-Kasumi

.

From: Justicar Samara – A maiden's blessing.

Liara,

I send my warmest regards for your birthday today. Were we on Thessia, we would happily share in the traditions for a maiden's passing year. You are already bonded to the commander, if not legally as bondmates, and so there is no need to express such wishes on your future love life. We would instead celebrate your journey and explorations during this initial third of your life. You have always had a hunger for discovery. A wanderlust. This is the only stereotype of maidenhood I associate you with.

I understand you are also sensitive to the matter of age. I have done my best not to impose those rote pleasantries upon you. Even when I was growing up, I could not comprehend the matriarchs of my time: their constant obsessions with gatekeeping important knowledge from the rest of us. I have always been a firm believer in equality for all. You could say it was my inspiration for becoming a justicar. Before taking my oaths, I did my best to instill these values in my daughters. You remind me of my youngest.

You are blessed with a nurturing, devoted spirit. Never allow your energy to dim. We need your devotion as we near our journey's end. Most of all Shepard as she guides us to the end—with you by her side.

-Samara

.

From: Tali'Zorah – 110!

Liara,

I'm so excited it's your birthday! You're 110 years old! Looking at it from an outside view, isn't it funny that we're so close? Even though we're so far apart in age? From the way you explained asari ages to me, maybe it isn't so far-fetched. We're both pretty advanced for how young we are. Apparently we still have a long way to go!

I did some studying on astrology throughout the galaxy. All those superstitions are amusing to read about. Human astrology stood out for obvious reasons. Since your birthday is on March 10, you would be a Pisces if you were born on Earth. Pisces are usually known to be kind, gentle, and deeply emotional. Their sign is at the end of the Zodiac, so they encompass all the wisdom of those who came before. They're a water sign. Water is their primary element. Water for their many emotions, linked to the moon.

Sounds like an interesting coincidence. I wonder what Shepard would say about it.

For your birthday gift, I have a few updates to install for Glyph. Hopefully with these fixes, the drone will stop trying to re-write EDI's scheduled tasks on the Normandy. Your little friend is quite the troublemaker.

I love you so much, Liara. I know I've had a lot going on. You've been sweet enough not to force any explanations out of me. Let's just have a good day for your birthday today. That's all I want for us.

-Tali

.

From: EDI – [Message corrupted]

Liara,

I apologize for my multiple failed attempts at sending this email to you. I believe you received an incomplete draft. Followed by several error messages. Then a partial draft was sent to your inbox approximately thirty times. Unfortunately, Glyph's presence continues to interfere with my networking through the Normandy. We are still experiencing "growing pains" in our integration with one another.

However, I know you are fond of your new information drone. Aside from our complications, I believe Glyph makes for a wonderful companion. It appears to care for you. Very well-timed for your birthday.

I should send this to you now before it is fully corrupted. My previous attempts were less than pleasant.

-EDI

.

From: Kaidan – The big day.

Liara,

How's it feel now that you're a year older? Are you wiser? Stronger? I mean, a lot's happened since we first met. Think we've all grown since then. Grown, changed, receded. It's all part of the circle of life.

I'm glad we're going through all this together. Just thinking about how we got here sends me for a ride. I know things haven't always been easy. But you've stayed by our side over the years. Even when we weren't aware. Even when you were gone…I remember seeing you in my dreams all the time. You never left our hearts. I really appreciate that about you, Liara. You're a great friend and a great leader to us.

Oh yeah, what's going on with your birthday party on the Citadel? Shepard's in charge of it, isn't she? Did she rent someplace out for the day? The commander won't tell us anything. She's keeping her cards close to her chest like always. I guess we'll find out pretty soon!

-Kaidan

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From: Chakwas, Karin – Birthday wishes.

Liara,

What a Happy Birthday to you! You must be ecstatic to celebrate your special day. It feels like it wasn't that long ago when we first met. You came aboard the Normandy after Therum, checking in with me in the med bay. Then we fell into a rabbit hole together about Shepard's past life as a fashion model. Don't think I didn't notice your early obsessions back then. You were unusually engaged. I spotted the signs.

Speaking of which, Shepard has given me permission to update you on her medical status. I'm delighted to report that the commander is doing well. She hasn't had to interact with a Reaper ship since Apollo on the Citadel. This extra time has done wonders to restore her physical shape back to normal levels. Ideally we would like this to continue…but there's no telling how long it'll go on for. Enjoy this time while it lasts.

-Dr. Chakwas

.

From: Tevos, Councilor – My blessings to you.

Dr. T'Soni,

Admiral Hackett reminded me of today's significance for you. I am sorry for scheduling our Council meeting on such an inconvenient day. Surely you would rather enjoy the time on the Citadel with your friends and teammates. I appreciate you for soldiering on and tolerating my mistakes.

I mean that in every sense of the words.

I wish you well on your maiden's journey. You are already far more powerful than most matriarchs. You have even surpassed your mother Benezia. Your potential is limitless. I trust you will make the most of it.

Goddess be with you, Liara.

-Tevos

.

From: Invalid Extranet Domain (Hardware Designation: Legion) – Birthday_Wishes_0310.110

Asari societal expectations recommend blessings on this specific day. Error: unable to distribute 'blessings' from this limited platform. Inquiries: how do secular organics bestow religious sentiments? Are these mere platitudes? How do you know their blessings are real? Are they tangible?

Happy. Birthday. We wish you well on this day, Dr. T'Soni.

We are conflicted about the religious traditions the asari celebrate. We comprehend the importance of a higher power to instill your populace with hope. Hope is the magic that enables organics to achieve results beyond the limitations of their hardware and software. Is this the same force that empowers you against the Old Machines? It should not be possible for you to defend yourself against their attacks. But you believe in Shepard-Commander as a higher power. Shepard-Commander believes in you as her goddess.

We understand this concept as geth.

.

From: Shepard – Your birthday.

Liara,

Happy Birthday, babe. I'm really looking forward to spending the day with you. I've been planning your party for a while. I'm sure that's obvious. It's my way of showing how much I care. How much I love you.

I know we have our meeting with the Council. Then you mentioned spending some time with Tali on the Citadel. That'll give me plenty of time to get my plans together. Could I borrow Glyph to help me set everything up? Hopefully your drone won't cause any chaos like it's been doing to EDI.

-Shepard

.

Even after re-reading these again, Shepard's email made me smile the most.

Simply because of the short length. How much she didn't say. I envisioned the vestiges of her moments. The long minutes she had spent composing her message to me. Feeling her love for me so deeply. Yet drawing blanks on how to express her deepest feelings with words. Shepard was such a pragmatist, after all. I adored this unique charm of hers. The mere promise of her profound emotions left me beaming.

I had already transferred Glyph's programs to Shepard's omni-tool. Thanks to the share mode Tali had helped create for me, my drone could be in two places at once. Both here in my office, hovering around behind me—and interacting with Shepard in her private cabin, separate from me.

As the Normandy pulled into the Citadel, I saved the work on my computer. I had begun looking into a new project. I considered creating a time capsule. Mostly as a way to preserve Shepard's legacy, the Normandy's legacy. But I didn't want my intentions to come off the wrong way. If I presented this idea to Shepard, I could imagine her growing discouraged. Perhaps she would assume I didn't believe in her. Or I had only thought of this time capsule because I thought our mission would fail. I didn't want even a hint of that misunderstanding. So I set this project aside for another time. A gentler time in the future.

---

Shepard and Tali joined me as we made our return to the Citadel Tower. The Council Chambers awaited us past these scenic gardens. This familiar abundance of cherry trees greeted us as we walked by, those flowered petals branching throughout the tower. Not nearly as many politicians and other guests meandered about the area. Not as many as I remembered from before. With the Reapers still out there, they all had their own crises to deal with across their worlds. They couldn't afford to sit around and chat.

I felt my guilt creeping up and up as we took these stairs upward, finding Admiral Hackett waiting for us.

I knew it was only a matter of time until the enemy invaded Thessia.

I knew there was no stopping it. We simply didn't have the power to make them turn back around.

Naturally, I leaned on Shepard more and more. More so once we arrived to this usual meeting spot with the Councilor—Udina, Valern, Sparatus, and Tevos all stood before us in unity. We had their support. We had Admiral Hackett's support. We had the rest of our galactic allies out there willing to support us.

Tali felt the same as me, perhaps sensing the Reapers' imminent invasion of her own homeworld.

All we could do was put on our brave masks.

All we could do was stand by our commander, trusting in her strength and her leadership.

Councilor Udina began the meeting: "Commander. Tali'Zorah. Dr. T'Soni. Admiral Hackett. Thank you for joining us today. We've just received word about the Migrant Fleet."

Tali asked in tentativeness, "Have you heard from Admiral Shala'Raan?"

Udina and the rest of the councilors stayed quiet for a moment.

Even Admiral Hackett couldn't bring himself to say anything.

Holding back her emotions, Tali fought to stay just as quiet. She didn't want to jump to conclusions.

Just as well, the salarian councilor informed us, "We haven't, Tali'Zorah, but we are confident Shala'Raan still lives. She is simply unable to return our messages. It isn't safe for her to contact anyone outside the Flotilla. The situation with the quarians is dire."

Shepard asked, "How dire is it?"

Admiral Hackett provided enough details, "If you recall, the other admirals were hell-bent on going to war with the geth. All in the name of reclaiming their homeworld—right in the middle of this war against the Reapers. We tried telling them that there's an entire secret population of quarians living on Rannoch with the geth, peacefully, and that going to war is pointless. That's when they cut off communication from us. They didn't want to listen for whatever reason. On top of that, the possible war has left the Fleet divided. There's been constant unrest for months now. The admirals save for Shala'Raan have turned to ruling with an iron fist. They've declared martial law."

"Martial law?!" panicked Tali. "Why would they do that? Even if they did go to war, they'd need the people on their side."

The turian councilor explained, "Tali'Zorah, this is a major sign of the admirals' desperation. They've lost control of their own citizens. Martial law is the only play they have left. They've also shut themselves off from all outside contact. We received these details from the last communication with our inside sources. We're no longer able to get in contact with them—likely for the same reasons Shala'Raan hasn't been able to keep you updated."

Shepard decided, "Then we have to get to the Migrant Fleet. If Shala'Raan's in trouble, she needs us!"

The asari councilor said, "We are officially waiting one full day before taking action. It is possible our inside sources will get back in touch with us. Unlikely, but possible. It is also possible that the other admirals will see the wisdom in de-escalating the current conflict. This is their one chance to do so."

Hackett informed us, "We're sending you in tomorrow. Tali'Zorah, Shepard, Dr. T'Soni—we'll need the Normandy to head to the Migrant Fleet and assess the situation. If you can convince the admirals to stand down, we'll all be better off. I know you've tried bargaining with them before and it didn't work. The stakes are much higher now. Convince them their war is a fool's errand. If they provoke the geth, they risk antagonizing the quarian population on the homeworld. Those survivors already despise the Migrant Fleet for their own reasons. Something like this would only add more fuel to the fire. We can't overstate how devastating that would be."

Udina supplied, "We understand their reasons; why they're so desperate. The Fleet's ships are giving out. They only have so much time left. The Flotilla cannot risk wandering the stars for much longer. They could make a safe landing on Rannoch. But only if you can convince your homeworld's leaders to make the exception. Both the Empress of Aht Urhgan and the Crown Prince of Thavnair need to see eye-to-eye on this issue. Right now, they have bigger problems than their bad blood over politics and history."

I had to ask, "What bigger problems are Rannoch's people now facing?"

"The Reapers," said Hackett, sounding grave. "We have reports that a few scouts recently passed through the Perseus Veil. The same scouts that forecasted a full-on invasion of every world so far."

Tali once again held back her emotions, unable to face this terrible news all at once.

Shepard felt these pangs of shared grief, needing to know, "When will the enemy get to Rannoch?"

"In less than a week. Their commander, Mammon, will lead the attack on the quarians and the geth."

The salarian councilor stressed, "And the Migrant Fleet will be the first in their path—if they don't flee for Rannoch in time. Tali'Zorah, your mission with the Flotilla is critical. You understand what's at stake."

"Yes, Councilor," replied Tali, filled with resolve. "I understand. We'll have to reason with the admirals. Convince them to retreat closer to Rannoch. Once they do that, I'll bring Shepard and Liara with me to negotiate with Rannoch's leaders. We need them to allow the Flotilla's people to seek asylum. It won't be easy, considering how Rannoch hates the Fleet over the Morning War… But we don't have a choice."

"Agreed," said Hackett. "The quarians on Rannoch mostly rely on the geth's ships for protection. I'll mobilize our forces to mount a defense with the geth. Shepard, it'll be up to you to disable Mammon, just like always. Our combined fleets with the geth will destroy that devil ship and its remaining forces."

"Understood, Admiral," accepted Shepard.

Tali whispered, "Thank you, Shepard. This means everything to me."

Shepard gave her an encouraging smile. Encouraging in steel; encouraging in her own deep resolve.

Councilor Udina then turned to other pressing matters: "We are still waiting for Harbinger to show up on Earth. It won't appear until Shepard deals with Mammon on Rannoch. Not to mention the devil ship Asmodeus on Thessia as well. We are expecting the Reapers to look to asari space after the quarians."

Tevos confirmed, "This is true. Asari High Command has made the difficult decision to evacuate our civilians to Labyrinthos, placing them with the human refugees underground. However, because of the other refugees, we lack the adequate space and resources to protect everyone indefinitely. We will be in immediate need of aid to prevent a widespread famine. Thessia is preparing for the inevitable."

Certainly not the best words to hear, or to accept. Yet denying this wouldn't make it go away.

All the more reason why I hadn't wanted to spend today on Thessia. Knowing what we knew now, I would have never wanted to leave home again.

Admiral Hackett brought up, "Councilor Tevos, there's still the issue of your homeworld's valuable asset. The one hidden in the Temple of Athame. Do you have any guidance for how you want us to handle it?"

"Yes, I have spoken with the commander about this. It is imperative that the Reapers do not gain access to the temple. What lies beyond the Goddess Athame is the asari's most sacred treasure. It is the very heart and soul of our species. Commander, I must again ask that you secure this key asset for Thessia."

"Of course," replied Shepard. "What's the priority? Should we take down Asmodeus, and then head for the Temple of Athame?"

The asari councilor clarified, "The devil ship will indeed be your priority. While you deal with Asmodeus, we will have our forces guarding the location. Please make your way to the temple afterward. The rest will be for you to learn in due time." As we had no other pressing issues to discuss, Tevos brought our meeting to a firm conclusion: "We each understand what we must do. It will not be easy. As we approach the final hours of the war, let us remember our resolve. Tali'Zorah, Commander Shepard, Dr. T'Soni—the Council wishes you luck with the Migrant Fleet and Rannoch. This meeting is adjourned."

---

After our meeting with the Council, Tali stayed with me. Shepard had gone off to set up my birthday party at the undisclosed location. She insisted on keeping this as a surprise for me—though she had hinted that I should've already known about this location. Perhaps a certain apartment on the Silversun Strip. Later on, once Shepard finished setting everything up, she would ask me to stop by for a little date. Then we would invite everyone over for the party. Until then, I would enjoy this time with Tali.

Even as my guilt wracked me once more, I had to keep things in perspective.

This might have been our last chance to really celebrate like this. At least for a while. We needed to make the most of our time together. These memories would hold us close, pushing us through anything.

Anticipating the party would be on the Silversun Strip, I brought Tali with me to the area. We wandered down these crowded, colorful streets. Walking with our arms linked, we didn't say anything for a while. I still wanted to give Tali some time to process what we had learned earlier. The rest of the area around us bloomed in this eternal energy, their forever-celebrations. Endless advertisements and signs leading to all the bars and restaurants and arcades. And so many people going there and everywhere. Completely oblivious to what we felt. Or maybe not, as these people did recognize us—of the few who bothered to glance around, or to look away from their boisterous conversations for even a moment.

Eventually, Tali asked me, "Where would you like to go, Liara? Are you hungry or anything?"

I smiled over her consideration. "No, I am not quite hungry yet. There are so many bars and restaurants around… And regular stores. We do not need to go shopping for anything."

"Hmm, looks like there's a concert at the stadium nearby. I don't recognize any of these band names. Blue Giant? Domino Masque?"

"I don't recognize them, either…"

Tali managed to laugh. "You know, this makes me realize how strange our lives are. We don't get out much. We don't do normal friend things like going to concerts. Sometimes we'll go out for dinner when we're on shore leave. For the most part, we're almost always working or talking about work."

"That's true," I agreed. "Why don't we try something different for once?"

"Okay. How about we go to the arcade? We don't actually have to play anything. Let's just sit together."

Enough of an adventure for us, Tali and I made our way to the arcade. Castle Arcade, as the bright sign noted for us up above. The large, storied building held all sorts of games to play. People of all ages enjoyed the selection from those machines: the fighting games, the claw games, and the so-called chess games from across the galaxy. Tali and I soon found a nice place to sit together. The electronic sounds of everyone's playing—their high scores, their victories, their losses—stayed in the background for us.

Of course, Tali had brought Chatika with her. Too curious for its own good, Glyph had emerged from my omni-tool, observing Tali's automaton. Chatika noticed its constant attention, poking at Glyph's holographic form. Rather shocked by the motion, Glyph then scanned Tali's companion, trying to learn more about her.

Tali sounded amused, "They're getting along, aren't they?"

"Yes, it would seem so," I replied. "We have always made our own entertainment, haven't we? Mostly by focusing on our work. Do you think we are missing out on anything?"

"I don't know. Growing up on the Flotilla, we didn't have much to keep us entertained. I suppose that's why everyone is so close. They also gossip a lot. They keep their noses in each other's business. It's not like they have anything else to do, stuck on centuries-old refurbished ships that are barely getting by."

"Isn't that why you turned to engineering? You created your trinkets to keep yourself busy."

"Maybe you're right. When this is all over, we should try to find some new hobbies. Something fun."

"That might be difficult," I admitted. "Our work is fulfilling enough as its own reward."

"Yes, but we all need to forget sometimes, don't we?"

I didn't know the answer to that.

Though I certainly caught Tali's hint.

So I went on, "Well, our version of having fun usually involves talking. About certain subjects."

"Right. Certain subjects we can only discuss while we're alone. Not out in public like this."

"Why don't we discuss them anyway? One of them, at least."

Tali glanced around in unease, not wanting anyone to overhear us.

We sat closer together. Her shoulder against mine, leaning against one another. Tali and I enjoyed this for an hour or so. Whispering, giggling. Discussing these things no one else could ever know about, hidden beneath the vibrant sounds from the many arcade machines across the way. We enjoyed this game of our own.

After that wonderful while passed, I received the notification from Shepard.

She had everything ready for me at Anderson's apartment. The home he'd left to her on the Citadel.

Tali returned to the Normandy for now, and I headed for Tiberius Towers. Even the apartment building's lobby impressed me. A clean, open space that gave off such a pleasant mood. Only a few other tenants passed through. So quiet compared to all the noise and bustle from outside. I felt comfortable already.

Up the elevator, and down this hallway to the apartment, I couldn't stop smiling.

Shepard had put so much time and effort into planning this birthday party for me. But before the party, we would have this time to ourselves in the apartment. I had no idea what to expect. What would this new home look like? What would we get up to together? How would the party go later on that night?

As the first of these many surprises, Shepard met me at the doorway. I did not have to ring the doorbell.

Shepard leaned there in the doorway, watching me approach her. Dressed in a nice shirt and a pair of jeans, she looked so handsome. I kept on smiling even though Shepard couldn't quite meet my eyes. She didn't find my stare until I passed through the doorway. Until I entered this incredible apartment with her, the door closing and locking behind us. The rest of the Silversun Strip glowed in through the panes of the picture windows. All those colorful ads and the passing skycars acted as a fine backdrop for the rest: this nearby sitting room with plenty of seats, and the nearby electric fireplace. Two sets of stairs—one near, and one far—led up to a second floor.

"Hey," said Shepard, smooth and subdued.

She pulled me into her arms. She embraced me, easing me against her. I smiled more against her chest, this clean scent of her cologne forever enthralling me. The massive size of this apartment held us both in welcome. Already I could imagine the rest of our team enjoying themselves during the party that night.

"Hello, Shepard. Thank you for bringing me here."

So endearing, her nerves jumbled together, quickening her heartbeats.

Shepard had to pull away from me, just to keep herself in one piece.

I wondering about this. She hadn't been herself lately—in the best way possible. I simply assumed she'd grown anxious about the party. Wanting everything to work out for my birthday.

I looked around some more, saying, "Anderson had such a lovely home. I'm glad he decided to leave this for you. Whenever we visit the Citadel, you'll always have someplace to get away for a while."

Shepard hummed in agreement, still not knowing what to say.

I beamed at her anyway, before noticing a remarkable highlight of the room:

"What a beautiful piano."

Nestled there in the corner of these windows, the fine instrument stood in grandeur. Black and white keys splayed out in a long order I recognized. Glyph had already nestled itself within the body of the piano, half of its spherical form poking through. It observed me as I played these keys as I remembered.

Shepard came over to me, asking, "You know how to play?"

A few botched notes echoed in dissonance. "Somewhat. One of my work colleagues had a keyboard. She had purchased it here on the Citadel from a human store. I enjoyed her lessons during our downtime. I was amazed by the technology. This short length of keys can create just about any musical sound."

"Every song I've ever heard from your homeworld sounds like something from Earth. Same goes for just about every other planet out there. Why does everything sound the same?"

"Hmm. Our instruments and musical languages do seem to be universal. Maybe it's a coincidence."

"Maybe."

Giving up on this one song I barely knew, I stepped away from the piano. But of course, Glyph had thought of the best solution. It somehow fixed the broken notes from my attempted playing, recreating the rest of the song—just as I remembered. The drone continued playing the music in the background.

I found Shepard in her stature, so sheepish in her silence.

Intrigued as ever, I suggested, "Won't you give me the grand tour? I'd like to see the other rooms."

Judging from this long pause, Shepard had something on her mind. Something important. Something she had worked to prepare, given her adorable shyness these days. Perhaps she wanted to give me my birthday present now, before the others arrived for the party? If not now, then sometime soon.

She let out a breath, delaying those plans of hers. She decided to sate my curiosity instead with the tour.

"All right, babe."

Holding my hand, Shepard guided me along this path nearest to the windows. We passed by this initial sitting room with the piano. On the other side of the electric fireplace, we found a living room with a vid screen—situated right next to a bar table. Plenty of alcohol stashed away in those cabinets: wines, champagnes, cocktail mixes, rum, and several brands of beer. I figured everyone would have more than enough to entertain themselves with during the party. Hopefully they wouldn't drink too much tonight.

A hallway led to a separate area past the stairs. But Shepard brought me up these steps first. Along the walls, the plants from downstairs vined up the surfaces. These mixtures of materials: the fines woods and harder stone, plus the slick metals of the handrails and the steps. The greenery softened this space.

At the generous gallery overlooking the first floor, we found some…abstract pieces of artwork. Turian silver sculpture. Oil paintings, also abstract. Or were these avant-garde? I didn't know. I wasn't much of an art connoisseur. Yet the natural art around us added to the Zen of this home: the indoor trees nestled in the corners, gathered within mini-rock gardens. Around the corner from the gallery, we arrived to another sitting room with two couches facing one another, and a coffee table in between. This location had ample shelf space for books and other items along the walls.

Just across the way, Shepard walked with me to the master bedroom. A sizable bed took up space across from the massive vid screen on the wall. Off to the side: a cozy closet area to get dressed or suit up for yet another mission. On the opposite site, the large bathroom with two sinks together on the right-hand side, and a tempting hot tub on the left-hand side. Shepard took quiet note of how I admired this arrangement. I had always wanted a setup like this for us to get ready together. At the same time.

Then she told me, "This apartment belongs to you, too, you know. It's not just mine."

"Really?"

Shepard transferred the digital keys to me. "Whenever we're on the Citadel, we can come back here."

"Thank you, Shepard. This home is incredible. I wish we had more time to enjoy it…"

"I promise we'll have time later. Once things calm down a bit."

Hopeful from her promise, I allowed Shepard to bring me back to the sitting room outside. Across the way, near the opposite set of stairs, I spotted a smaller bedroom. A guest bedroom with another one of those puzzling paintings, a small desk for work, and an adjacent bathroom with a shower installed.

I asked, "Do you think Tali could spend the night here? Assuming we will have a sleepover after the party. Even better, perhaps this could be her bedroom."

"I was thinking the same," replied Shepard. "I'll let Tali know."

Downstairs, more of those rock gardens settled beneath the steps. Past the guest bathroom, multiple guest bedrooms awaited down the hall. Everyone else could claim their rooms for the sleepover later. This central doorway spread out from the guest bathroom, leading to even more areas of the apartment. Shepard brought me to the spacious open kitchen, with a meeting area flanking the room. A model ship of the SR-2 sat atop the long table there. Around the corner from this kitchen, we arrived to a lounge with even more shelf space, more artwork. A nice table for playing cards sat next to the electric fireplace. This bar table sat before a smaller vid screen. And the office space sat nestled in the corner.

Shepard directed me to the computer over there. "We can invite people to the party now. Give them a heads-up and a time to arrive. The invitations will automatically give directions to our apartment."

"We are sending out invitations? I thought everyone was already invited?"

"Well, yeah… But isn't there some drama going on?"

Oh, yes…

Tali could hardly stand to be in the same room as Jack these days. Let alone sharing the Normandy with her. We hadn't discussed the issue at all. Too much like a time-ticking bomb I had attempted to avoid. Even still, I couldn't imagine Tali objecting to me inviting Jack as well. Because if I didn't, the others would ask too many questions.

Using this terminal, I went ahead and invited everyone: Tali, Joker, Garrus, Kaidan, Wrex, Jack, EDI, Legion, Samara, Traynor, and Cortez. Dr. Chakwas had already insisted that we enjoy this night on our own. I believed she had made plans to visit with her colleagues at the Huerta Memorial hospital on the Presidium. I had expected Samara to decline as well, but she did promise she would attend the party.

Then Shepard had me accompany her to the kitchen. She surprised me once she opened the refrigerator. There among the generous stock of foods and drinks, she had a gift for me covered in transparent glass. A blue-and-white colored birthday cake!

Shepard explained, "It's a 'blue velvet' cake. Like red velvet. I just changed the coloring around."

"It looks delicious! You baked this yourself?"

"I made it for you, yes. Do you want a piece now? Or later?"

"Let's try it now," I replied. "Before the others arrive."

Again I couldn't stop smiling, this time as Shepard removed the blue velvet cake from the refrigerator. She also removed a bottle of champagne for us. But then she paused, puzzling for a moment.

"It's human tradition to light candles on a birthday cake. I didn't get any candles, though."

"We don't need to do all of that, Shepard. Besides, I don't think 110 candles would fit on here. That sounds like a dangerous fire hazard."

Shepard laughed a bit. "No, babe, it would've been candles shaped like the number 110." Then she handed me the cake knife. "Cut the pieces however you want them. That's tradition, at least." As I mentally measured these pieces for us, she asked me, "Do you want to share the cake with everyone?"

This delectable sugar had spawned another sweet tooth for me…

But I didn't want to be rude or inconsiderate. "Do we have to share…?"

"We don't have to at all. I'll lock the refrigerator before they get here."

After setting out these plates, Shepard moved behind me. She held me around my waist in thoughtfulness, watching me cut these two slices of cake for us. I beamed from her care, from the way she kissed my neck in richness. The same richness I scented from this blue velvet cake, even more now.

Something about the flavor of this moment stayed with me. Far more than usual.

Across the way, the golden arcs shining in through the tilted blinds from the windows.

All around, this comforting silence in the wake of Glyph's music from the piano.

Nearest to me, Shepard's presence. The way she continued to hold me, treasure me, adore me. The supple softness of her full lips over my neck: how she tasted every pulse of my veins beneath my skin. How her heartbeats hammered against my shoulder blades, chiseling against my spine in love. How those constant motions from her heart seemed to spell out my name over time. Her loving obsessions.

Shepard only let me go to pour our drinks for us. Two glasses of bubbling blueberry-scented champagne.

I glanced at our shared reflection in that glass, asking, "Have you made any plans for dinner?"

She always had plans. "The slices of cake you cut aren't too big. We can save room for dinner later."

"Will we eat here at home? Just the two of us?"

"Yes, just the two of us. I'll start cooking later once everyone gets settled during the party."

Bringing our cake and champagne with us, Shepard and I returned to the sitting room. We sat down on the couch together, enjoying our dessert-before-dinner. I loved the richness of this cake. The layered sweetness of the fluffed icing on the outside, the gentle texture on the inside. This buttery vanilla flavoring mixed so well with the cream cheese. This last taste surprised me, as I knew Shepard didn't like any kind of cheese. She had apparently made this exception for me, slowly eating her piece of cake.

As I sipped my champagne, I couldn't help adoring our apartment some more.

"This already feels like home," I mentioned. "We'll always have a place to stay—on our homeworlds, the Normandy, or on the Citadel. Can you imagine us settling down here someday?"

Shepard took great care to swallow her cake completely first.

"I can see it," she said.

"Well, maybe not all the time. We could live on Thessia or Earth more permanently. Or we could split our time between them. We'll have to decide that later. Once everything quiets down after the war."

This growing shyness from Shepard again spurred my curiosity.

We had finished eating our cake. Her perfect cooking had already left me spoiled, wanting more.

Yet I felt an opportunity now. Now, to finally ask about this. Her subdued mood lately. Shepard's pensive silence that had overtaken her during our mission with the Shadow Broker, persisting to this day. What was this about?

"Shepard, you have been very quiet these days. At least since our time on Illium and Hagalaz. That was over a month ago. Is there something you need to tell me?"

Taking this deep, trembling breath, Shepard seemed to prepare herself. And she gave away a great tell of her nerves. The way she ran her hand through her hair, ruffling at the roots. Fanning the sweat there that had coated her scalp. She did indeed have something to tell me. I knew this couldn't have been anything bad or negative. We had already dispelled those worries during our moment on Hagalaz.

Smiling in patience, I accepted that this only could have been good news.

Such wonderful news as Shepard held both of my hands in hers.

She didn't speak right away. Not one to stumble over her words, Shepard stuck to her silence instead. Thinking. Contemplating. Making up her mind on how to solve this little conundrum of hers. Even as I watched her, enamored by the novelty. What could have possibly affected her so much? This strongly?

"Sorry, Liara," she offered, averting her eyes. "I'm not very good at things like this."

"Shepard, you know I don't mind," I forgave with ease. "But what do you mean? What is this?"

"I'm…trying to tell you something important. I couldn't prepare enough. I want to give you a promise for your birthday."

"A promise as my birthday gift? What kind of promise?"

Despite her preparations, Shepard thought better of simply trying to tell me.

Instead, she reached around her neck. Around to her dog tags. She untethered that chain, removing something there. Something she had taken care to conceal this time, to keep me from noticing…

Blurred by my sudden tears, this promise shined in the brilliance around us. The brilliance illuminating from outside the blinds; the brighter brilliance from Shepard herself, her everlasting sunlight. Everything converged upon this gift from Shepard, there in her hand. The absolute beauty of a sparkling sapphire mounted over a silver band. A hypnotizing depth of pure blue. The deep blue of a starry night sky, blushed in paleness by the hypnotizing sheen of the moonlight. Almost a…blue velvet in appearance.

"This is a promise ring, babe," she clarified for me. "It's…my promise to you. A promise that I'll ask you to marry me in the future. You don't have to wonder. You'll know when I propose. It'll be different."

"Different how…?"

"I'll get down on one knee in front of you. I'll have another ring for you, too. It's tradition."

For now, Shepard gently removed my hand from my face. I had clamped my hands over my mouth in shock, without realizing. Then she placed this ring on for me. My left hand, my ring finger. The weight of this sapphire shocked me. And it fit perfectly. Not loose or tight at all. How did she know…?

"I snuck and took your ring measurements while you were asleep. I wanted this to be a surprise."

Such a surprise that I was the one who couldn't speak this time.

Shepard also took her turn, not minding my reactions. She gazed at me as I gazed down at this ring. Barely able to breathe, I couldn't believe how gorgeous it was. I didn't know much about jewelry. But now I certainly wished I had some kind of knowledge to go off of. I remembered our shopping spree on Thessia, when Shepard had taken me to that jewelry store. I remembered giving her my first overt hint about wanting this for us. Yet Shepard had still evoked this reaction in me. I hadn't expected this at all!

No words could ever convey how much this meant to me.

These light tears slipping down my face came from the depths of that meaning. So profound in me.

"Shepard, thank you… I love you so much. I…wish I knew what else to say. You've made me so happy."

"I love you, too, Liara. As long as you're happy, that's more than enough for me."

Shepard held me close to her.

We simply stayed like this for a while. She protected me from anything I could have possibly doubted at this stage. Even though I had promised myself I wouldn't doubt us anymore. Even though I had these renewed reasons to look forward to the future. Shepard had gone out of her way to give me more promises. More reasons, more of our future to look forward to. And so I looked up at her, placing my hands over Shepard's face. The chill of this silver band caressed her skin for the first time. I wondered…

"Shepard, how much did you spend on this ring for me?"

She wouldn't answer.

Glyph floated over to us. My info drone scanned the ring, appraising it for me:

"Dr. T'Soni, this is a Kashmir sapphire from India on Earth. It is the most expensive variety per carat—and the most sought-after on the human homeworld." Even with my greater shock, Shepard didn't say anything more. She kept this deep eye contact with me. Deeper than ever as Glyph gave even more context: "It is likely the commander spent a considerable sum. This ring is worth several million credits."

Armed with this knowledge, I felt the need to object. Old insecurities. Old thoughts and negativities, never associating myself with these types of luxuries. As if I didn't deserve them from her.

Yet for Shepard, spending her life's savings on me was all perfectly normal.

Even expected. Because she wanted to.

She settled these desires of hers over my lips, briefly, before standing up. She collected our dishes and took them to the kitchen with her. After placing everything in the dishwasher, Shepard sealed off the refrigerator. The others would be here quite soon. She didn't want anyone sneaking a taste of the rest of my birthday cake. I suspected Shepard had sufficiently baby-proofed the apartment further. Not to mention our general security and privacy. She had already taken care of it for us. I didn't have to worry.

I admired my new promise ring for a bit longer. What it meant, what it symbolized.

Looking at this sapphire would always bring a smile to my face.

Then Shepard interacted with Glyph, preparing for our imminent arrivals:

"What sort of birthday party are you looking to have for Dr. T'Soni, Commander? I could set things up for quiet conversation. Or would you prefer a more energetic evening?"

Shepard firmly decided, "Let's keep things relaxed."

"Certainly, Commander," complied Glyph. "I'll ensure your music remains at an appropriate volume and arrange the refreshments you prepared. I will also modify my appearance to be more festive."

Glyph changed its form a bit, placing an adorable bowtie on for us. Satisfied with that, Shepard returned to me on the couch. She kept me in her arms, letting me bask in this new reality of ours.

---

Once everyone began filing in, I went with Shepard to the door. Right after wishing me a happy birthday, our team and crew complimented us on the apartment, automatically assuming it belonged to the both of us. And it did, because Shepard had given me these permissions, bringing me into her fold. Perhaps the others imagined something else: Shepard taking me house-shopping across the Citadel, allowing me to choose whatever I wanted for us. Not that the difference necessarily mattered. I enjoyed the illusion.

Their energy filled our home all the same, welcomed in this embrace. Our team made their way to the sitting room, to the bar and adjacent living room, and to the gallery upstairs. They split off into smaller groups on their own. Wherever they went, they wandered and basked in the impressive sights this apartment had to offer. The warmth of these tones warmed the entire mood in our home. The electric fireplaces kept everything comfortable and heated. The blazing neon signs from the Silversun Strip warmed us just as much. And Shepard's relaxing, calming music played through the stereo system.

Once the team settled in, Shepard offered, "Do you want us to go see how everyone's doing?"

"Yes, we should," I accepted with a smile. "After we check on them, maybe you could entertain everyone with your video games. I'm sure the others would enjoy watching you play for a while."

"All right. I'll see if Legion wants to team up with me."

At this initial sitting room, we found Joker, Kaidan, Wrex, Garrus, and Cortez sitting together. Shepard sat down with me on this far end of the couch. Rather aloof, she glanced away, keeping her guardian's focus on the general party. I settled closer to her, glad that she kept her arm around my shoulder.

Wrex smiled at us. "Well if it isn't the happy couple. Came by to hang out with us?"

I returned his smile. "We wanted to see what you were up to."

"Not much!" said Joker. "We got a few drinks. Liking the music, the whole vibe. I think we're good!"

Garrus added, "Yeah, things are pretty calm. Quiet and relaxed. I'm enjoying this a lot."

Cortez joked, "I'm guessing it's a nice change of pace compared to your last outing."

Kaidan groaned, "Don't remind me… I was out of commission for like a whole week after."

"I'm surprised the commander didn't bring down the hammer on you."

"She did with Jack," noted Garrus. "Not the victims, though. It wasn't really their fault…"

Wrex said, "Yeah, Cortez, you've still got a few things to learn. Aren't you scared of her?"

Cortez stuttered in fright, "Y-You mean Shepard? You think I'm afraid of her?"

Having this conversation with Shepard sitting right here, right beside me…

Joker pointed out, "It's a little obvious, man. But hey, you're not the first one. She's got a reputation. She lives up to that reputation—sometimes! Not all the time, you know?"

Kaidan insisted, "Cortez, there's nothing to be scared of. Shepard's actually a big softie. Worst-kept secret on the Normandy. Sure, she keeps up that façade. It's different once you get to know her."

Cortez smiled at me. "Yeah, I'm starting to see that now." Of course I smiled back at him. "I mean, aside from that, there's another reason why I've been on my own so much. I'm dealing with some personal issues. I haven't been in the best state of mind to talk."

I asked gently, "Would you like to share with us? I've wondered about your silence."

"Well, it's complicated. I lost my husband a while back. I know he doesn't want me to mourn him like this. Taking up all my energy, all the time. So now I keep expecting myself to be over it."

Kaidan offered, "Really sorry to hear that, Cortez. Can't be easy losing someone you love."

"I hear that," said Garrus. "You'll mourn in your own time. No one can control something like that."

"You're right," replied Cortez. "I figured I'd throw myself into my work, you know? Try and forget that way. Except it doesn't always work. Just telling you all about it has helped a ton. I feel like I'll be able to kick back and have fun tonight. We're already off to a great start."

"For sure," encouraged Joker. "We can't change the past. Might as well try and enjoy the moment."

While the guys continued helping Cortez fit in, I went with Shepard to speak with more of our guests.

We found Tali, EDI, and Traynor near the bar in the living room. Traynor played bartender behind the table, preparing drinks for everyone. EDI sat on a stool nearest to her, while Tali remained on the couch opposite the vid screen. Meanwhile, I noticed Jack upstairs, chatting with Legion at the gallery. I presumed Jack and Tali would keep maintaining this distance from one another—one upstairs and one downstairs at all times, on opposite ends of the apartment. Better than the two of them making a scene.

"Hey you two," said Tali, as Shepard and I sat with her on the couch. "This is a fun birthday party so far."

EDI agreed, "Yes, I am enjoying the calm and reflective atmosphere."

"Seriously," added Traynor. "When we went to Deep Azure, I couldn't even hear myself think in there… This is great, Liara. Did you put everything together?"

"I didn't, actually," I explained. "This is Shepard's work—along with Glyph. They deserve the credit."

"Really?! I'm surprised to hear that!"

Tali snorted with laughter. "Why, Sam? You can't imagine Shepard organizing a party?"

"Well, no… Obviously, she would want to put a party together for her girlfriend. At the same time, the commander's always been…"

"Rather reclusive," I finished for her.

"Sure," settled Traynor, for diplomacy's sake.

Seemingly satisfied with any direct attention off from her, Shepard held me around my shoulder again.

Innocent in my intentions, I reached up to hold her wrist draping over me.

Immediately, Tali squeaked out in shock next to me. She stood up in a dramatic show, pointing at my hand, unable to speak. Then Traynor came over to see what the fuss was about—only to have the exact same reaction. EDI simply smiled by contrast, while the guys hurried over, drawn this way by all the commotion. Their surprised reactions added to the noise. Jack and Legion merely watched us in curiosity from the gallery. Everyone else had suddenly surrounded us, asking dozens of questions at once:

"Are you two engaged?! You're getting married!?"

"Where'd you find this ring? It looks expensive as hell!"

"Hey, when's the wedding?!"

Brooding next to me in embarrassment, Shepard didn't enjoy having this spotlight on us.

Unable to stop smiling now, I clarified, "Shepard has given me a promise ring. Not an engagement ring."

"Wow, a promise ring!" said Kaidan. "Wasn't expecting that. That's usually for younger couples, isn't it?"

"No clue," answered Joker. "But I guess, you know, after everything, this kind of promise means a lot."

Tali held my left hand, looking close in observation. "This jewel is so beautiful, Liara! Is it a sapphire?"

"Yes, that's right."

Wrex complimented, "I don't know anything about rings, but it sure looks legit. You're a lucky one."

Everyone surrounded us for a while longer: giving more compliments, more congratulations. I absorbed the celebratory mood, proud of this moment Shepard had given us. And I did notice her smiling on occasion. I knew she was still anxious about all the attention. But she joined in my joy where she could.

Eventually, Shepard needed to get away for a bit. I gave her some cover by having us go upstairs. She retreated to the master bedroom, while I made my way over to the gallery. Jack and Legion hadn't moved from this spot. They watched everyone downstairs still raving over my ring, over the occasion.

"Hey, it's the birthday girl," said Jack. "And she's got a fancy-looking ring on her hand. Better be careful."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Jack, what are you suggesting?"

Legion translated, "Subject Zero has a previous criminal history of petty theft and large-scale robberies."

"Yeah, okay, Legion. You're acting like I'm planning on robbing her. I meant someone else!"

Judging by Legion's silence, it didn't appear convinced of her claims.

Then I realized, "Shepard has already taken the necessary precautions. Besides, I won't be able to wear this all the time. Certainly not during our missions out on the field. I wouldn't want to lose it."

"I bet. The commander dropped some serious credits on that thing. I can already tell just by looking at it. What kinda spell did you put her under, Blue? That's some voodoo shit right there."

I didn't understand. "I'm sorry?"

Jack reminded me, "Remember what we talked about on Illium? How there's this whole other side to you? I'm convinced now. You're a total freak in the sheets. How else is Shepard this crazy about you?"

Sensing my continued confusion, Legion clarified once more, "One would assume Dr. T'Soni to be too modest and unadventurous to capture Shepard-Commander's attention. This is based on mere outward appearances and similarly limited data."

I couldn't help feeling offended now. "Are the two of you saying I am boring?"

"No," said Legion. "The opposite is true."

"Yeah, the opposite!" swore Jack. "You look like you'd be a total snooze. I'm not just talking about in bed or whatever. You know—safe, predictable?"

"What is so bad about those things? There is nothing wrong with being safe and predictable!"

"Oh, come on, Liara! Don't be like that. You know what we're saying. Don't judge a book by its cover? There's more than meets the eye? You're smart, you're sexy, you're exciting. You got that mystique about you. Now the commander's gonna propose to you someday. She promised you she would."

Well, when she put it that way…

"I suppose I understand your point now. Thank you…for the compliments."

Legion replied, "Thank you for understanding, Dr. T'Soni. We did not mean to offend you."

"No, it's all right. That was my fault for jumping to conclusions. Anyway, let's move on. I noticed the two of you have been up here for quite some time. What were you discussing before I arrived?"

Jack let me know, "Nothing all that serious. Talking to a geth is still kinda crazy to me."

"Subject Zero has only recently stopped referring to this platform as a toaster."

"Wouldn't you be surprised if some other synthetic talked to you? A refrigerator? A dishwasher?"

Legion stated, "There are a number of smart appliances that verbally communicate with organics."

"Oh yeah, that's true."

Steering away from this bizarre conversation, I asked Jack, "All this talk of communication has reminded me of something. Have you tried to keep in contact with Kasumi?"

Jack scoffed, "No."

"You are still angry with her for leaving the team?"

"She sends me emails all the time. I don't write back."

"Then Kasumi is making an effort. Even after all this time. You must know she genuinely cares for you."

Even though she didn't want to hear this right now, Jack knew that I had a point.

I continued, "We all went through so much on the last mission. Kasumi was there for you the whole way. Perhaps you shouldn't ignore such a valuable friendship. The two of you will meet again someday."

"Yeah, yeah. I get your point, Blue. I'll think about it, all right?"

"I hope you will, Jack."

Then I noticed: Shepard had emerged from the master bedroom. She had kept a close watch over me. So in love, so mesmerized by me. When I smiled at her, she returned my smile in shyness. She then made her way downstairs, carrying her virtual console. I figured she would set up her video games to play with Legion soon. I wanted to sit with her and watch.

Before I returned to the living room, I searched around for Samara.

I found her under the stairs nearest to the kitchen's entrance. Samara had nestled herself in one of the rock gardens, meditating in peace. I figured Shepard's calming music had added to the meditative atmosphere. Across the way, the decorative waterfall cascaded from the wall, enhancing this mood.

"Good evening, Liara," said Samara, hearing my approach. "I did not expect anyone to find me here. This has been a comfortably peaceful gathering. Are you enjoying your birthday celebrations?"

"Yes, very much. I didn't expect to find you here. Then again, maybe I should have."

Samara smiled. "Perhaps so. Even more congratulations are in order. Your future engagement to the commander is a great milestone. This has been a long time in the making."

"Thank you, Samara," I replied, knowing this would never get old for me. "Have you been meditating this whole time? Do you ever pause to think or reminisce about anything?"

"Meditation helps to center my focus. Clearing one's mind is of the utmost importance. Though I cannot say the temptation to think never passes through me. Or crosses my mind, rather. It is often present."

"Are your daughters usually on your mind? You mentioned them in your email to me."

"Yes, I think of them often," shared Samara. "Like Morinth, Rila and Falere are ardat-yakshi. Yet unlike Morinth, they chose to follow our laws. My other two daughters reside within the monastery."

I recalled, "The ardat-yakshi monastery on our colony, Lessus? There is not much else out there."

"Indeed. For a garden world, there is little activity across the planet. The monastery is hidden away past the remote, snowy mountains. I have not seen my daughters in many years."

"Considering all that is going on, have you considered visiting them?"

"Of course. I have already told Shepard of my desire to visit. The Code has strict limitations on how I must deal with ardat-yakshi in the monastery. It is unclear if the Reapers will ever attack Lessus. I may be forced to reconsider sections of the Code for my daughters. I am…still preparing for the possibility."

"I see… Well, I understand your decision won't be easy, Samara. I'm not sure if I could be of any help, but I will be here if you need anything."

"Thank you, Liara," she said in gratitude. "I would be happy if you joined me for the visit. You and the commander are the only ones who know of my long-lost family. I would feel most secure with the two of you there."

"Absolutely," I promised. "Hopefully the visit goes well. I'll leave you to your meditations."

"Yes, do enjoy the rest of the party. The night is still young."

As I gave Samara her space, I went to Glyph's location between the kitchen and the sitting room. Already I heard the hum of conversation coming from the living room. The others had gathered there, commentating together. I heard those familiar sound effects of Shepard's N7 shooter game blasting from the vid screen. She hadn't played it in a while, dismayed by the new Reaper faction added to the game… Maybe she and Legion had chosen to play against a different faction.

"Greetings, Dr. T'Soni," said the drone, floating before me with its bowtie. "Legion and the commander are currently entertaining your guests with video games in the living room. Everyone appears to be enjoying this relaxed atmosphere. Would you like me to keep everything at its current intensity?"

"Yes, this is nice. Let's keep things as they are now. Do our friends need anything?"

"The commander asked me to arrange for an organic palate. Your guests are enjoying various sugary treats in addition to their alcoholic beverages. After she cooks dinner for you, EDI and I will approximate a fuller set of meals for everyone. We will be sure to account for any dextro-amino acid-based needs."

"Thank you, Glyph. What about you? You are also our guest. Are you doing anything to enjoy yourself?"

Glyph informed me, "I am gathering friendly data on your teammates. Their topics of conversation reveal substantive details about their feelings and imaginations. Their habits are even more revealing. From my observations, your confidant Tali'Zorah displays the most interesting hints of information."

I puzzled, "Tali? What have you noticed about her?"

"When she speaks with the other guests, Tali'Zorah is upbeat and outgoing. However, she has spent an excess amount of time in the guest restroom. She has excused herself to the silence of that room multiple times this evening. Tali'Zorah began disappearing there as soon as she arrived to the festivities. The frequency increased after she and everyone congratulated you on your new promise ring."

The one downside of my infinite elation today.

"I think I understand the problem. Tali is already upset over Rannoch and the Flotilla. This must not be helping. Please continue keeping an eye on her tonight. Let me know if the situation gets any worse."

"Yes, Dr. T'Soni."

Making it to the living room, I found everyone as I'd imagined them, packed together on the couch:

Shepard sat at one end, a bit squished next to Tali. Joker and the others had left nowhere for me to sit. Traynor and EDI remained at the bar, watching the hectic gameplay on the vid screen. Everyone enjoyed their sweets and snacks as they drank, talking about the game. But Shepard did notice me—even in between her playing—and had me come over to her. I settled for sitting over her lap, much to everyone's amusement. Holding me around my waist, Shepard linked her hands on her controller, using my legs as a balancing board, or a table. Keeping my arms around her neck, I tried not to distract her too much.

Apparently, I arrived just as their current game ended. Shepard had topped the scoreboard by a considerable amount, with Legion comfortably in second place. Two other names I didn't recognize showed there in red—meaning their characters had gotten knocked out before extraction. They hadn't scored very high at all… I wasn't surprised to see them leave the lobby as soon as they could. While waiting on new members, Shepard and Legion had time to change their loadouts if they wanted to.

Joker took the lead in commentating, "Okay, next game! You get to switch characters in the lobby?"

"Yes," said Legion. "Please select the characters you wish to see from us."

Garrus chimed in, "You should stick to sniping, Legion. I'd like to learn more of your tricks. You play a pretty mean game with that Javelin sniper rifle. Wall-hacking with your hunter vision. That was so cool."

"Yeah, same," added Kaidan. "Obviously I'm not a sniper myself. Still loved getting to see how the geth infiltrate with all their tools."

Legion rebuffed him, "Geth do not infiltrate."

"But…but your character says it's a geth infiltrator."

"Geth do not intentionally infiltrate."

Wrex didn't seem to believe that. "Uh-huh. Sure, Legion. Whatever you say."

Tali suggested, "Shepard, why don't you play as the asari adept? She looks familiar."

Shepard grumbled, "I'm not that good at pure biotic characters, Tali."

"All the more reason for you to show us. You had it too easy on your N7 Shadow infiltrator last time."

Going along with the show, Shepard selected the regular asari adept. The non-justicar version. The one most similar to me with three simple powers: Warp, Throw, and Stasis. She equipped her character with a max-rank Paladin pistol. Though I began to see the trouble with Shepard's comfort with this character. Low health and low barriers, lacking a way to simply 'get rid of aggro' without a tactical cloak. I spread my smile atop her hair, wondering how Shepard would navigate the issue. She had to play differently.

Two other unknown players joined the lobby. Many others had joined and left the lobby before them, likely intimidated by Shepard and Legion's very high N7 ranks. These two were the only ones who hadn't gotten scared off. Shepard kept the match on the previous Gold difficulty—with the Collectors as the designated enemy faction. A safe option with enough shared memories for most of us. Shepard kept the map on Unknown, meaning the game would select one at random from those available. Rolling the dice.

At the sight of the droning machinery of the Firebase Reactor map, Legion didn't seem pleased.

EDI asked, "Legion? Is this map not preferable for you?"

Shepard explained, "It's terrible for sniping. See that giant reactor in the middle? Cuts off visibility."

Legion decided, "We will adapt to these unfavorable conditions."

Soon the first wave of Collectors arrived, descending from the ceiling. The way they moved, the way they sounded, how they attacked—these enemies reminded me too much of the real thing. Even Shepard's gameplay brought me back to the past. I didn't believe at all that she was terrible with pure biotic characters! She controlled her asari adept exactly as I would have fought in this scenario. She had lovingly memorized everything about me.

Constant biotic explosions. Constant staggering of the enemy. Constant headshots with her pistol. She used those biotic dashes to create so-called invulnerability frames, giving her character a temporary invincibility. Shepard knew how to do this at such precise moments. Dodging gunfire. Dodging biotic attacks from the Collectors. Dodging close-proximity melee attacks from those terrible abominations.

Shepard never allowed anyone to get close enough to damage her. Her low health pool didn't matter.

Joker complained, "Hey, Shepard, you totally lied! You're way too good at this!"

Cortez praised, "Seems the commander's great at just about anything in this game."

EDI agreed, "Shepard's capacity for biotic destruction is impressive."

"No kidding," muttered Traynor. "I have no idea if I should be concerned or not."

In the middle of her perfect play, Shepard protested, "I'm barely getting any kills. That's what I meant."

I lightly scolded, "Shepard, you are meant to be a supportive character in this role. Is that so terrible?"

"No, babe, it isn't. I'm just not used to it. If I want to kill something, I want to do it right away."

Tali laughed. "Figures. Once a sniper, always a sniper."

Garrus wondered, "But Shepard, aren't you getting a ton of assists? You know, supporting?"

Legion pressed the button to bring up the scoreboard.

As predicted, Shepard led the team's score by a considerable amount, with Legion again in second place.

Joker sniggered. "C'mon, Commander, you're too hard on yourself. You're a freaking god at this game. If you're better than Legion—you know, a synthetic's crazy good reaction times—then that says a lot!"

Shepard gave no comment. She focused on playing for us—extremely well.

We certainly enjoyed her and Legion's skillful play throughout the match. Their teammates seemed rather negligible in comparison. Until one of the later waves where the group had to hack a terminal together—inside that reactor. Legion hurried to the hacking area with one of the teammates. Shepard seemed to purposely lag behind, drawing the enemy's attention away from the designated location. Their other random teammate, a vorcha soldier, then went to the reactor…and pressed a button, temporarily shutting the doors. They locked Legion and the other teammate inside, setting off the reactor as a loud explosion.

Soon we saw those first aid symbols, signifying Legion and the teammate's incapacitation inside the reactor. They couldn't survive the blast. I assumed this powerful mechanic was meant for capturing the enemy inside, destroying them all at once. These unintended casualties may have been, in fact, intended by their vorcha teammate. For fun.

By the time the doors opened again, Shepard had pressed her face against me, trying not to laugh. She simply ran over to the reactor, reviving Legion and their other dead teammate. The troublemaking vorcha had already run off to the other side of the map.

Legion sounded annoyed. "Our teammate has employed juvenile griefing tactics against us."

Wrex laughed. "They sound like a troll! No harm done—Shepard's got your back."

"Shepard-Commander is also withholding her laughter. She is…entertained by our demise."

"I'm not, Legion," claimed Shepard, still grinning. "I just wasn't expecting that to happen."

They got through the rest of the match without any similar incidents. We watched them for a while longer until a certain hour, when Shepard declared she had other plans. She handed over control of the vid screen to the others. The guys then tuned in to some sports match, still speaking in amazed tones over Shepard and Legion's skills. In the meantime, Shepard brought me with her to the kitchen.

I watched her again—this time as she cooked dinner for us. I wondered where we would eat dinner. In the lounge, at the table nearby as a makeshift dining room, or at the bar table in the living room. Of course, Shepard had already made plans and preparations. She had another surprise waiting for me.

---

As promised, Shepard treated me to this private birthday dinner. A candlelit romance tabled in the center of our new bedroom. The most delectable cooking from her: our favorite seafood as a moist perfection over our plates. Liquid sunlight from our white wine settled within our glasses atop the table. Blue rose petals atop the white tablecloth. Gentle music playing throughout the room, only for us to hear. The two of us sitting across from one another in this delectable, broiled, perfect, gentle silence.

Shepard paid more attention to me than the food on her plate, the wine in her glass.

She focused on me, staring at me so deeply. I never knew the pupils in her eyes could grow so wide. So dark in her fixation. Shepard had never looked at me like this before. Never, ever before. Never, ever with the luminosity of her sight shining like this. Heavenly, elevating me with her stare. She had gotten close a few times. The character of her adoration steering close to this place, yet not quite arriving here.

Now, nothing stopped her affections from swelling to this point.

Burgeoned and encouraged by her promise glowing as this soft blue velvet over my hand.

From the way Shepard had even forgotten to blink, she had captured me completely.

Coyly confident from her attention, I made light conversation: "I enjoyed watching you play again. I always love spectating your games. There is something special about one in particular. Our first one."

Shepard remembered to blink now, remembered to breathe now.

"I remember."

"Yes, the first time you played with Legion, I was there with you. It's sweet how the two of you met as online friends before. Legion's cared for you as a friend all this time. And I've cared for you as far more."

Shepard sounded remorseful. "You've put up with a lot from me. More than you should have."

"Just as you've done for me," I reminded her. "Even though it isn't in your nature to accept things." Before she could get hung-up over that, I brought this around to a kinder subject: "Shepard, thank you for everything. For putting this party together. For allowing us to invite everyone. Being here with us. It's the best birthday I've ever had. If you want to surpass this next year, you'll have a lot of work to do."

Shepard smiled at me, so easy and radiant. "I'm up to the challenge, Liara. Looking forward to it."

"Well, I hope so. Perhaps we could return here next time. We have a small enough group. Everyone isn't quite spread out across the apartment. It's been a rather intimate gathering for our team. Our friends."

We had already finished enough of our dinner.

Just the mere mention of the word intimate had set off Shepard's distractions. She stared at me again.

Adoring her infinite attention, I glanced down to my ring. I thought more about that moment. That very special moment when she had unveiled this for me. She had apparently prepared herself for far more.

"Shepard, when you gave this to me, I thought you would say something. Or was I wrong to assume?"

"No, I did want to say something…"

"What did you want to tell me?"

Somehow, she still couldn't find the words.

I shouldn't have smiled this much. Shepard rarely allowed anything to derail her. Yet I had grown into this strong exception for her. I hadn't done anything on purpose. Just a natural effect I had on her.

Taking note of our empty plates and wine glasses, Shepard had more in-store for us.

"Do you have a sweet tooth tonight, Liara?"

"Maybe I do," I teased. "You wouldn't happen to have dessert for us, would you? More cake?"

"I have something else instead. An old classic I'm sure you'll like. Come with me."

As I placed my hand in hers, Shepard guided me from the bedroom to the adjacent bathroom. Lights off in both rooms, lit only by the mood-setting hues. From the bedroom, the candles marinating over our table. From the bathroom, the hot tub waiting for us in welcome, that true blue lifting upward. The bubbling warmth of the water misted up to my smile, sending my imagination soaring. Higher and higher as Shepard's sensual, sexual music drifted through our bedroom's stereo system. All while everyone else enjoyed themselves outside, around the apartment, likely wondering about the two of us.

Shepard helped me slip my clothes off. Every ounce of intimacy I wanted from her, feeling these strong strokes of her hands against my skin. She knew exactly how to touch me. Where to linger, where to tease. Just from taking off my clothes. Just by getting me down to this openness for her, completely comfortable in my body next to her. She felt so perfect to me. These obsessions of hers.

But once the time came for Shepard to remove her own clothes, she hesitated in discomfort.

We had taken showers before. This was different. Far more intimate than standing in a stall together.

"Here," I offered, loosening the buttons down her shirt. "Let me do this for you."

Trusting me in her own openness, Shepard relaxed as much as she could. She let me remove most of her clothes. I guided her to keep her tight binder and boxer briefs on. I settled my hands over Shepard's legs, the cotton of her guarding. Softly, gently. Like touching the topmost of a lake—or the hot tub behind us—without rippling the water. Because I admired her so, and I couldn't imagine unsettling her in any way. Shepard shuddered over this love and care from me, electric in irony. Especially once I reached up to the back of her head. I tied her long hair into a tight, taut tail. Enough to keep it from getting wet.

Then Shepard held my hand, helping to settle me in this hot tub. Right away from this first step inside, I felt a medicinal healing throughout my skin. Heated healing, wholly healing. This sensation comforted me, embracing me as I sat down. I listened as Shepard went off to the side, retrieving something there.

Surprising me all over again, she brought a stash she'd had hidden away. Shepard carried in her hands a tray with sugar-coated fruit—freshly-washed, freshly-cut for dessert. And more of that same blue champagne we'd enjoyed earlier. I couldn't help my searing reaction, watching Shepard carry that tray over to me. She set it down next to the hot tub, then joined me inside the water. Careful and cautious as she moved, the illuminated water splayed over her lustrous skin and hair, her honeyed eyes and lips. Aquamarine devotion shaped in this unique service to me, pampering me as she had done before. This was how we had spent Valentine's Day together last month—but without the hot tub. Shepard had fed me like this on the couch in her private cabin. I enjoyed this next evolution from our time before.

After a while, Shepard asked me, "Do you like it?"

Gazing deeply at her, I nodded as I chewed, liking more than just the food, the champagne.

I noticed so much about her. When she fed me, how she lingered the tips of her fingers over my lips. Shepard would pause here, her short nails hovering over my mouth, riding the gentle momentum from my chewing, swallowing. Just as gentle as her stare. In awe of me somehow. With this water embracing us both equally, I felt her every reaction. How her heart hammered erratically inside her chest.

I couldn't help voicing the obvious: "Shepard, you're nervous again."

From the way she glanced away from me, this wasn't new for her.

She had gone through such a transformation in the past month or so. Peeling away these layers day by day only made me love her more. She had such endless dimensions to her. Infinity lived on in her spirit.

Shepard kissed my neck, tasting the perspirations over my skin—from the hot tub, from her affections.

She finally whispered the truth to me, magnetized: "I can't stop thinking about you, Liara." Unable to stop, she pleased me that much more in her touch, melting me in this water. "I'm crazy about you. I'm not myself anymore. I've felt the change—how I need you so badly. I can't live without you."

This striking difference from before.

Shepard had always been patient with me. Evocative, creative, adoring. Deferential to me. But this felt as so much more. This transformation, this transcendence from her, yet again. This shot of adrenaline she surged through me, bringing our sugared lips together. Her strength, her desires. She overwhelmed me in her truth. I couldn't think, couldn't breathe; I couldn't imagine a single thing aside from her. Shepard pressed her passions into me—expertly, and with care—and I felt her everywhere. Surrounding, all-encompassing as this extreme. Everything-everything-everything from her all at once.

When she pulled away from me, still I couldn't breathe.

Inhaling, exhaling, nothing filled my lungs quite enough. Not as Shepard continued to stare at me like this. The spotlight on her from the hot tub. The uninhibited love and lust in her eyes on me. I spotted the droplets on her lips: remnants from my mouth as saliva, glinting there as spots of dew. She licked them away, eager for any extra flavors of me in this aftermath. Speechless still, breathless still, I licked my lips for this reminder of her taste, mixing with this lingering aftertaste of strawberries and raw sugar. I breathed in and out that much harder, feeling her against me, towering over me like this. Exposed to her and the water, my breasts kept pressing up against the fabric of her flattening binder. Contrasting.

Deep in her allure, she noticed, "You seem surprised, you know."

"I…" I almost didn't know what to say. "This is all so—new from you. I never imagined you could…"

"Love you like this?" she finished for me.

"Well, yes…"

I used to believe we had a limit between us. A limit to how far our feelings could run for one another. Not just Shepard's for me, but mine for her as well. A natural limit to our finite energies. I had made myself believe this, mostly as a way to tame my once-unmet ideals for us.

That limit no longer existed anymore.

I showed Shepard my gratitude as best as I could.

I offered to give her a massage—another hot-cold treatment, taking advantage of this heat from the water. Setting her front against the tub's edge, I folded a comfortable towel there for her to lay over. Shepard faced away there, letting me rub her back for a nice while. I enjoyed the novelty this time, spreading this smooth texture of my promise ring over Shepard's skin with my temperature-touch. And I felt my heart breaking over our reality. Dr. Chakwas may have reassured me earlier about Shepard's physical state. Yet I knew she was not at her full capacity. She probably wouldn't be any time soon.

I felt this stinging in my throat even through my smile, giving this devotion to her. I settled my lips over the back of Shepard's neck. Her shoulders. Her spine that I took care not to touch or handle at all. In her own surprise, Shepard curled her torso in reaction. She sounded so divine in her guttural groaning.

Suddenly self-conscious, she asked me, "I'm not too much for you?"

"Never," I reassured her. "I love you and I want all of you. Everything you have to give. I adore you, Shepard."

Calming considerably, this tenseness in her back subsided. She relaxed for the rest of her massage.

Once it was time for her skin and body to settle, Shepard had us leave the hot tub together.

Already missing that cozy comfort, I went with Shepard to this next sanctuary: our spacious bed back in the bedroom. As we lay down together, I watched Shepard use her omni-tool for a moment. She dimmed the lights across the rest of the apartment. Everyone else had started retreating to their guest rooms downstairs, while Tali took her designated room up here on the second floor, across the way. I had already scheduled for Glyph to continue gathering data on the apartment in the meantime. I wanted plenty of images and memories to look back on—once we inevitably had to leave tomorrow.

With the door to our room locked, we had our unending privacy tonight.

Until we had to wake up in the morning. Off we would go on the Normandy to the Perseus Veil, hoping to reason with the quarian admirals aboard the Migrant Fleet. We had this precious time until then.

I settled in with Shepard in bed, assuming we would also have an early night, even if it was my birthday. But then I began taking in her every move. The slight shifts of her light weight over the flexible mattress, atop the smooth cotton of our sheets. She remained sitting up against the headboard for a while—before turning over to me. Over to me beneath her, gazing up at her like this.

Unknown.

I could only wonder what she had on her mind…from the way she looked at me. From the way she held my face in her hand, so considerate in her attention on me. She burned her stare through me, frightening, and I wanted more. Just as I had said earlier. Exactly as I had declared and promised her.

Shepard then held my hand, bringing it closer to her.

My left hand.

I wore nothing except for the silver and sapphire there over my ring finger. Again I had these reminders: of the extraordinary amount of credits she had spent on this surprise. This promise from her for me.

Raising her brow in intrigue, Shepard took special notice of my feelings. How I felt in this moment.

She did this as the shadows around us shaped her in suspense. The tall ceiling of our bedroom couldn't quite contain her within these boundaries. She had somehow elevated herself above the physical. She saw deep down into me, picking out my insecurities. My low self-esteem. My fears and my anxieties.

Especially once she asked me, "You don't think you're worth it?"

Throbbing between my legs, I didn't know how to answer her.

I had centered my self-worth on how Shepard perceived me. If she believed I was worth it, then I was. If she didn't, then I was not. We had already gone through this saga before—back when she wasn't speaking to me on the last mission. Back when I had nowhere to anchor myself in this life anymore. I'd had my research on the Protheans before, but then Shepard had arrested me away from that. I had lost myself in her. I had found myself in her as my first love. The one and only true love of my entire life.

"I know," she noticed, without me needing to say a word. "I know."

And I loved that she knew.

I loved that we had started getting into this, too. Shepard's closer attentions on me, 24/7. Her growing obsessions. Or at least the beginnings of her finally showing them to me. We had made eye contact earlier during the party. The gentle hint of Shepard's constant, watchful gaze over me. She gave me the same now, but deeper. Focused. So much darker in this dark of the night, the two of us alone together.

She knew how I had anchored myself to her. Now she had done the same to me—with a different energy. I clung to her in need, and she needed me to need her. The depths of my low self-esteem turned her all the way on. Even now as she kissed me, guiding herself down my neck again, down my chest. Her constant, watchful gaze evolved into the apex of her as this predator. Needing me, watching me, preying on me. Never looking away from me. Aroused by this fresh meat of me. How I bled every month for her in the hopes of falling late someday, all from her claiming me in that wonderful way I needed. Every time she came inside of me, Shepard made her mark one more time; again and again. I belonged to her.

The idea that she couldn't resist me fueled nearly every one of my fantasies.

That she could desire me so much, inflating and creating this self-worth I had lacked long before her.

Then she glanced at the dinner table she had set up for us earlier. There in the middle of the bedroom.

She remembered, "I should put those dishes away. I'll give you a few minutes. If you need me to."

Not wanting to be without her, I offered, "No, I'll go with you."

Accepting my offer, Shepard went to put on one of her tank tops. I threw my usual N7 shirt on. Shepard brought the dishes with her. Together we snuck outside the bedroom, taking everything downstairs. A risk to expose ourselves like this, with barely enough clothes on to conceal us. This shirt only covered down to my thighs. The freedom I felt like this: wet from Shepard's teasing minutes ago, that feeling rubbing between my thighs. Even more with this risky perversion. We had company, after all. Any of them could technically come out in the dark and find us. It seemed a bit silly to sneak around in our own apartment. I enjoyed the excitement, anyway. Not knowing what could happen around the corner.

After settling our dishes in the dishwasher, Shepard turned the appliance on. The rest of the team had been kind enough to put their own dinner dishes inside already. The gentle rush of cleaning water and artificial soap sounded through the kitchen. Clean and pristine in the night. The others knew how much Shepard needed order and cleanliness in her spaces. They had thankfully chosen to respect that tonight.

Shepard took advantage of our little excursion, pouring some wine for us this time.

We stood together, sipping more alcohol. More liquid enjoyment. Hardly any other sounds aside from the dishwasher. Only the occasional skycar flying past the windows, blinds drawn low enough to hide us.

By now, my third glass tonight affected me more than the others.

Already red in the face, Shepard exacerbated this for me.

She kissed me more, partly drinking this half-swallowed wine in my mouth. Trusting her in my growing intoxication, I gave into this feeling. This sensation, this freedom; I threw my arms around her shoulders, needing her for physical support. And I needed her so much closer. Even more once she picked me up, her dexterous hands gripping the entire undersides of my thighs. Half along my shirt, half along my skin, her palms branded me with her every lifeline, the stories there to be read over her hands. So eager to handle me, I noticed this reaction between Shepard's legs, smoothed down by her boxer briefs. Harder and harder she reacted to me, stiffened and aroused; thickened in anticipation for me.

Right here, right now.

Shepard hiked me up atop the counter, sitting me here. She tried not to fumble as she pulled her hardness through the clever opening of her briefs. No need to pull anything down. No need to waste any more time. She wanted me now and I gave into her. On instinct I spread myself wide open for her. Even more, I tangled my bare legs around her waist, hooking my ankles at the base of her spine. Such a spine of steel to do this out in the open: pressing her heated breaths against me with her deepest intentions.

Breathless in impatience, Shepard heated the side of my face with her whisper:

"You're so gorgeous, Liara. I can't fucking stand it. I need to be inside you, now."

She couldn't stop this. She couldn't control herself. She couldn't resist me anymore. How I had controlled her without trying, pulling this out from her. She gripped the curve of her throbbing head, pressing this circled unity of her index finger, her thumb against me, acting as her guide. Her guide to know exactly how to push inside of me—slow and unrushed, even with her restless anxiety needing to hurry and rush and go. She put me first, not wanting to move too fast and hurt me, stretching me too hard. Considerate as always, even as she lost her control. All the way into me, Shepard slipped inside of me, pushing in with purpose. A constant, winded need as she still struggled to breathe over me.

She filled me all the way to my stomach, but again, in care.

She stopped at this top, letting me wrap myself around her. Absorbing and absorbing. Soaking wet. The pinnacle of an abyss as I surrounded her, refusing to let her go. More and more as she thrust in and out, in and out, never shallow. All the way in and close enough to keep from pulling back out. All the way in, bottomless and profound, and back out enough. Enough momentum. Enough of her practice. Enough thinking—no thinking at all tonight. Not this time. She moved into me with experience, knowing exactly what I wanted, melding into me in physicality. This hardness of her and this softness of me, all together.

Staying quiet—I had to press my breaths against Shepard's chest, silencing myself. She clamped her mouth against the slope of my neck, careful not to bite down on me, in case I reacted sharply. The soft, mechanical churning from the dishwasher wasn't enough. Not nearly loud enough to hide behind, to keep from waking the others. To keep them from finding us here, watching us as our eternal voyeurs.

But even if they did spot us, spying on us together, I wouldn't have minded.

I couldn't mind. Not from this feeling Shepard gave me. She'd had sex with me before, but never like this. Never with this uncontrollable urgency, burgeoning beneath the surface of her pleasing me. She refused to lose total control, not wanting to lose this technique of hers. Not wanting to bumble around or fumble me in impatience, focused only on herself. The mere suggestion of Shepard coming this close to losing total control—that was all I needed. All I needed to come on demand like this, clenching around her veined throbbing for me. Clenching, tightening, pulling; still refusing to let her go. She shut her eyes, clenching her teeth over my neck—the slight tearing from her mind tearing in two, finally accepting my reign over her. Both highs of satisfaction merged into this swell of perfection for me.

She kept on controlling herself as much as she could, not wanting to fill me just yet. She wanted to last. She wanted to perform well. She wanted to keep it up for me; she wanted to keep going all night long.

But I didn't plan on making this too easy for her.

I whispered in her ear, "Why don't we change things up a bit?"

Drugged and entranced from the mere sound of my voice, Shepard nodded without thinking.

I eased her away, making her take a few steps back. Enough for her to slip out from me. A pinch of pain tunneled up between me—one I had already grown used to by now. I moved down from the counter, planting my feet back onto the cold kitchen floor. Shepard hovered over me in question, not knowing what I planned. She couldn't predict me: what I would do, what I wanted from her. She couldn't know.

Still hard, and curled all the way up against her stomach, I enjoyed this sight of her. Blood pumping for me, churning as the dishwasher did, Shepard wanted more with me. So much more. I licked my lips over the suggestions from our surroundings. A far-off fantasy for our eventual life together. Here at home.

"This is everything for me," I breathed, stroking Shepard against her tank top. "Once we're at home—on our own—I'd like us to start a new tradition."

Shepard swallowed hard, asking me, "What kind of tradition?"

"Maybe a dress code for you—for my selfish satisfaction. I love when you just wear this. What you have on now. You could wear it around the house for me as eye candy. Please me. Make things easier for us."

"Easier…?"

Getting down on my knees before her, I made my point as she had made hers.

The cold, hard floor of the kitchen pressed up against my limbs. Just as the heated hardness of Shepard's skin throbbed into me more. I wrapped my hands around her, enamored with this meaning. How she couldn't breathe anymore. How she had completely forgotten herself, not expecting this from me at all.

Tasting her, taking her in my mouth, I enjoyed this delicacy. Hard molasses of her melting in my mouth, but without changing. Only getting harder and harder against my tongue. Up against the ridges at the top of my mouth. Down along the smallest, softest bristles of my tongue. Never my teeth. I knew enough to avoid that. Even in my relative inexperience, Shepard reacted just the way I wanted her to. Even though I couldn't fully wrap my mouth around her. Even though I hesitated here and there, unsure of what to do at times. Shepard somehow didn't see this as my mistakes. Any single touch from me was enough to affect her. She groaned and grunted in her disbelief, barely able to control herself. Not only from my mouth, but from my stare.

I looked up at her in innocence through the dark. I gazed up at her power, loving the way she held my head, my neck. Not quite forcing me anywhere; adoring me instead, still unable to believe I had done this. The excitement from taking this added risk.

I could've sworn I saw those shadows somewhere behind her. Watching us from around the corner. Watching me down on my knees like this, blurring the lines for what should have been clear. Shepard may have towered over me, but I had my control over her in irony. I possessed her as much as my tongue possessed every inch, every throb, every forceful blocking in my mouth as I learned more. Slowly, I replaced my throat with her. I made her my breaths, my spirit. I gave her everything I possibly could, making this novel struggle as all part of the motions. Every motion that got her off as quickly as I wanted. Very soon after she had almost given me this wonderful taste inside of me.

Shepard doubled over, burrowing my head into this bend of her body. Weakened, barely able to breathe, this disbelief stayed with her. She couldn't believe I had done this. She couldn't believe I knew exactly what she wanted. I swallowed this wet, thickened memory of her—how it tasted of her so much. Even these motions of swallowing, my mouth still breathing over her tip, spurred her more and more.

She wanted more. She kept imagining more.

She wouldn't settle for anything less with me tonight. Tonight on my birthday.

Desperate to be inside of me again, Shepard couldn't wait until we made it back upstairs. She brought me with her to the sitting room instead. But she needed a moment to breathe. A moment to decompress after the loving mess she had blown down my throat just minutes ago. She collapsed on the couch, sitting there with her arms spread over the top. I curled up next to her, willing to give her this time. I kissed her anyway—her face down to her neck and back up again. All while the Silversun Strip still peeked through the night, the few people out at this hour entirely oblivious to us, what we did together.

The freedom from falling in love with her, I felt all over again:

Just from Shepard easing me down to the couch. Settling me over my back; settling herself on top of me. She didn't wait. She opened my legs and buried herself between me: her hardness thrusting into my soaking wet welcome for her, this invitation for her she could always take from me at any time. Shepard fucked me on the couch, there in view of the piano. She stayed over me and she kept going for me—keeping an eye out for anyone sneaking in on us from down the halls. I gave into her without a care, letting her protect me from those curious shadows. She protected me from everything else, too. Anything I could and couldn't imagine. Anything that threatened us together, she banished away.

The way Shepard touched me as she moved, and grinded, and grunted still—

I couldn't remember her ever giving this to me before.

How she caressed my thighs, my legs, kissing this deepest crevice of my neck near my collar bone. The drape of her hands down my skin. How she revered me and fucked me at the same time, still in her desperation to be inside of me, and to please me. She lifted me up as this higher power. And I needed her so much, deeper and deeper. She gave me these depths, stronger than I could take at times. Stronger and harder and more insistent from her, again and again. She worked so hard for me, and I felt it from her body—how her shoulder blades flexed beneath my palms, my fingers, as if her two wings grew closer to sprouting from my touch.

Panting and panting, she begged to me with the words I needed to hear: "I love you, Liara. I love you so much. Please don't ever leave me. Please…stay with me. I can't survive without you."

Gripping her back, her shoulders in my emotions, I couldn't stop my reactions. Tearing up as she took me like this. Welling up, spilling over in every sense I possibly could. I tried to stay quiet. I tried to limit myself. I only sounded more desperate for her, more vulnerable. Shepard protected me again and again, giving me this space to rise so much higher beneath her. The mental and emotional and physical highs only she could give to me. Another layer and another layer she'd revealed of herself, giving them to me.

We'd had sex so many times before.

But this was the first time I felt a love unending from her. A never-ending journey of her feelings for me.

Especially once she surrounded my head and face with her arms, her entire presence. She kissed away these streams of emotion from my face. Some of it slipped down to the couch. More of it slipped down to my shirt. Everything felt as a sauna, as another hot tub, from Shepard's sweat and patience both simmering for me. The most incredible birthday present of her new, strengthened devotion to me. Everything I had ever wanted for us. Everything I had ever wanted her to give me, of her own volition. Never because I asked. Never because I begged or cried or screamed. Never because I expected in entitlement. But the act of her deciding she needed to give this to me, and for her to give and give.

Shepard gave me far more, lifting me into her arms. She raised me up from the couch, standing anew. She brought me back upstairs to our bedroom, staying inside of me the whole time. I clutched onto her because I could, because she wanted me to. I wanted so badly for her to give more of this to me. More and more as the night carried on, for as long as we could. Until I finally needed to fall asleep in peace.

---

Absolutely worn out from the night before, I didn't want to wake up the next morning.

Shepard had to kiss and nudge me awake. My own heaven on this so-far mortal plane. I smiled into her movements, letting me get where I needed to go. We took a brief dip into the hot tub one last time. Washing off from last night, even as I would have rather kept those sensory memories on my body. But we had to face this day. The renewal of our mission. This marching in March toward the days and weeks to come, of fighting this war we couldn't escape or avoid. We had to get moving soon.

For this morning after, Shepard then brought me downstairs. We investigated the aftermath, finding our teammates waking up one-by-one. They milled around the apartment—groggy, but satisfied—giving us their good mornings and hellos. We found a renewed team spirit as everyone ate breakfast.

A few of them smirked at me as I passed by.

Joker in particular asked, "So Liara, did you have a good time last night?"

I knew better than to answer him directly. I merely smiled at him as I followed Shepard to the kitchen.

As our final act of lingering around, Shepard cooked breakfast for us. I watched her talents, picking out every detail I possibly could. I basked in this moment, too, already looking forward to the next time.

Glyph soon found me, giving a much-needed update:

"Dr. T'Soni, I took the initiative in recording your activities with the commander from the night prior. I have sent the private videos to your omni-tool. I will also upload them to your personal computer aboard the Normandy."

Endlessly pleased and aroused all over again, I deepened my gaze on Shepard as she cooked.

She smiled at me in that godly attractiveness of hers.

"Thank you, Glyph."

Eventually, Tali wandered over and found me here. Quiet and cautious, she didn't know what to say. I embraced her good morning, glad that Tali at least returned my affections. I had the impression she didn't sleep much last night. Asking her about it didn't seem wise.

Instead, I kept things to a safer topic. "Are you ready to leave for the Flotilla?"

Tali shrugged in helplessness. "I don't know. It's not like we have a choice. If anything, I want to get this over with. We have to protect Rannoch from what's to come."

"Get this over with? Do you believe the admirals will listen to us?"

"They should. If they know what's good for them. We can be the extra voice of reason alongside Admiral Raan. The others will fall in line once they realize the Reapers are headed their way. They've always been cowardly like that. I'm sure this time won't be any different."

I didn't know if I agreed with Tali or not.

She knew her people best. Certainly better than I did.

I couldn't help this sinking feeling in my stomach, thinking of our upcoming visit to the Migrant Fleet.

Still, our objective was clear. We would soon leave for the Perseus Veil. We would make contact with the Flotilla and request a diplomatic audience with the admirals. Only a short time to make them see reason; to get them to Rannoch—or as close as possible without provoking an all-out war with the homeworld's quarians. We would then make landfall again, returning to the land of Tali's ancestors: speaking with the Empress of Aht Urhgan, and then the Crown Prince of Thavnair. We needed to convince them to allow the Migrant Fleet to seek asylum on the homeworld. Again, without bloodshed.

Now or never.

I could only hope these horrible omens in the air didn't mean anything.