Chapter 19- Until The Lights Go Out
Hilariously enough, Jay had no desire to wake up that day. Blame it on the intense cardio the day before or the long weekend of recovering from the final scans that would determine it all, but this morning as the Rocky Theme blared into the Tuesday morning air, Jay could barely open his eyes. It took everything in him to reach over, fiddle for the phone through closed eyes, and locate the snooze button. Through a groan Jay rolled over to his left side, noting the empty side of the bed. Usually he woke up with Hailey, gave her a morning kiss before she escaped into the bathroom to ready herself for the workday. Jay would use that time to get up, throw a shirt on, and hurry into the kitchen to make her coffee and a quick breakfast; which was usually the standard peanut butter toast. By the time she got out he'd have her food and drink ready to go on her bedside table. They'd chat a little as she ate before she'd grab her phone and keys and bounce out the door; that being Jay's cue to get his morning routine going. So the fact he forewent all of that today and slept through her getting out the door proved just how exhausted and out of it he was.
"Just a couple more minutes," he spoke to the very empty apartment. The days of sleeping till 10am, 12pm, were very much behind him. He wasn't back at the office just yet, and actually all of that was still at the talking stages, but he wasn't the recovering slug in bed anymore. He had a life again, a routine, stuff that he did throughout the day that wasn't impacting the whole city, but was making him feel alive again. He typically went on walks in the afternoon after lunch. Once a week he did the grocery shopping. The laundry was done on a daily basis by him including the sorting and putting everything away. Hailey joked with him one evening over a very romantic dinner of pancakes and sausage and bacon that they'd somehow totally reversed the gender roles, to which Jay replied that duty called for all and there's no job too specific for men or women: we're all allowed and entitled to do whatever we desire. That one cued them foregoing all chores and tidying for a very different duty altogether that would require just about the remainder of their evening. They were definitely finding their way back to them, to life, to the land of normalcy.
The Rocky Theme blasted into the dark, cold, still bedroom once again, rudely interrupting Jay's nice light dream of them together. Now he opened his eyes, exhaling rather perturbed as he hit the snooze button once more. Now he was blaming the cold for why he wasn't up and getting going. He needed to warm himself, let his body temp rise a little before he attempted getting up. He landed the phone right next to his head, which would be a bad idea nine minutes later when it went off a again and he legitimately jumped before hitting snooze once more. Then it went off again…and again…and a ninth time before Jay finally worked up the stamina, courage, and begrudgingly somber mood to get the day going. This all wasn't going to change if he didn't make the first move. He started by opening the curtains, allowing the vibrant spring sunlight into the room, doing it's very best to awaken the sleep-like nature of the room; reminding the one living in that dark place that life, light was just on the other side. And the warmth of the sun was doing wonders for Jay. Through closed eyes he breathed, soaking up the stinging nature of the sunlight against his eyelids, sighing before opening up to reveal to himself the world outside his window. It was indeed spring in the city now, the lack of snow on the ground and buds poking through at the tips of trees, plants, and sidewalk edges evidence of that. The warming quality of spring hadn't poked through winter's teflon guard lock on Chicago just yet, but indoors you could feel the warmth of the sun rays. It was still a daily battle and juggling match on whether to dress for waning winter or blooming spring, but spring and sunshine and warmth would win eventually, it always did. But for today winter was taking the prize. As Jay went back to look at his weather app on his phone it showed the high would be in the mid 50s, right now things hovering at 48 degrees. He knew what it meant for running: running tights and joggers with a tight dri-fit and hoodie on top. At least he didn't have to worry about the beanie anymore, or any hat for that matter. Jay didn't bother trying to make the bed. He'd only just gotten out of it a few minutes ago and was exhausted. Baby steps, my dear readers. He made a mental note of making the bed when he got back into the apartment after his run. But there was one thing Jay was gunna do before getting out the door: fueling himself. Padding rather quietly across the apartment's floor plan and into the kitchen, Jay dashed the overhead lights on, asking Siri to start playing the morning news. He needed life in this place, sound, voices, something to make him not feel so alone. He threw open the fridge door as the newscaster told the almost repetitive headlines. The stock market was in chaos, gas was up, war was waging, and politics were ever as crazy and divisive and messed up as they'd been. Soon the Ninja Bullet was whirling to life, so loud that the news was drowned out by the blending and crushing of ice and fruit and protein powder into a thick sludge that Jay called breakfast in a gulp. It looked nasty, the texture was always something he had to get used to, but surprisingly it tasted amazing. The coffee maker chimed that a fresh pot was ready and waiting as the blender died down, Jay smirking to himself that he'd done it once again. He'd gotten so good at this morning routine that he had it down to the second. Eggs were scrambled and piping hot on a plate as the black coffee was poured into a mug just as the smoothie was housed in a huge glass and clunked down on the breakfast counter. Jay grabbed his phone, turning off the morning news to instead read through it, taking bites and sips of breakfast in between the deep dives into all things politics, Chicago happenings, food and travel, and so much more. He liked to be a well versed guy, that if nothing else came away from this very extended time off of work, at least he was getting educated in how to properly cook different cuisines and research the ins and outs of international travel.
Twenty minutes later he was feeling full on all fronts. Dishes were placed in the dishwasher before things were wiped down and near sparkling clean. Jay hurried himself to the closet now, grabbing the thought ahead of items and throwing them on himself quickly and without much thought. Going into the bathroom now was a very mundane and quick task. Those early days and weeks back home from Northwestern, the idea of standing in front of a mirror and having to look at himself as he brushed his teeth, washed his face, or just went to the bathroom, was something Jay had to talk himself into. He was scared, if he was being perfectly honest. It was fear of having to look at himself and see the handiwork of his decision making skills. He chose to get the surgery. He chose to look the way he did and while he was at peace with that, he hated the daily stark reminder of how much more it all was. It wasn't a simple in and out, pre and post surgery thing. It was a clean slate, a full start over, a very blunt and life changing thing he said yes to. But that was the scale, the playing field he was on. Whatever decision he made, whether it was to fight or cave in, things were going to be life altering. He was just happy he chose the one that kept him alive for, hopefully, decades to come. But still, seeing the aftermath of it all, knowing that his appearance not only shifted everything in his life for others, for himself, he was quite scared of himself for a season. So to be where he was now, daydreaming into the mirror without much thought about how those brunette waves were back in their place and the intimidating scar and its' buddies were hidden from the world, it was a moment that he didn't think much about now, but back then this was a time he craved. No, a moment that truly got him through some of those days. Funny, in the deepest, darkest hours of ones life, one often dreams of being average and normal and then when you finally get back there, there's no celebration or cherishing of every second. More often than not you go back to exactly how life was: not thinking so deeply about it. And without realizing it, that is the celebration. By not celebrating, you are cherishing life and doing that very thing you fought so hard for. So as Jay snapped out of his mini daydream and mind serial, he spit the toothpaste in the sink, rinsed everything off before tussling his hair with his hands for a couple seconds. He didn't bother styling it, it was all gunna get messed up five minutes into his hour long run. The final steps were to take the morning meds, which were getting smaller and more manageable by the doctor visit, before lacing up his running shoes, making sure the Air Pods were in and on a white noise playlist before heading out the door. What a perfectly normal morning he was having. Albeit, it was later then his usual. But regardless, he was living life to the absolute best that he could.
…
He got off at Roosevelt, because at the last minute he decided on taking the CTA to his running spot. Partly because he didn't know of a place to park at Roosevelt but mostly it was because he'd had a couple partial seizures the last couple of days and he was alone and in the event something happened, he didn't want to cause a horrific accident and become a huge risk to others. It wasn't ideal and he hated still having to rely on the meds, but this was life now. Landing on the solid ground, taking in the sight that is the CTA Roosevelt Green/Orange stop, Jay was ever enamored at the beauty that lay in the details of this place. The stop is perched so perfectly above Roosevelt, providing a three hundred sixty degree view of the depth, variation, and chaos that all perfectly describes Chicago living. Looking in the direction of the lake you have the ever busy intersection of Roosevelt and Wabash, a car always honking at another if they took off from the green too slow or weren't turning in time. At opposite corners of the intersections you had Jewels and Trader Joes, both always busy and both always vying for who was more jam packed in their stores. Then there was the random mattress store which was essentially a glass cube that housed beds and bedding, Jay never getting that one and imagining how awkward it would be to try out a mattress there while hundreds of people stared at you while eating donuts and sipping coffee. Turning back to the innards of the city was a row of very individually styled houses, none of them matching in design or color of aesthetic, some choices very questionable in Jay's mind. But those were the introduction to a more laid back life, and a stacking of buildings. Following the houses with your eye you went from houses to apartment living to office structures to the pinnacle skyscraper of the whole place: the Sears Tower standing ever proud and prominent in it's perfect spot in the city landscape. It all ended at that. Everyone wanted to grow as tall, grand, and luminous as that one; yet to this very day it forever reigned. Jay shivered just then, remembering he was standing in the middle of a very busy CTA stop with trains coming and going at his back and in front of him. He was becoming more of an odd ball standing still amongst the rushing trains, passengers, life all over him. Plus, the brisk wind that seemed to never die up here was really playing tricks on him. It felt much colder than it looked outside his window this morning. Best way to warm up was to start moving, walking, and eventually jogging.
He began his jog, via Apple Watch running timer, right at the corner of Roosevelt and Wabash, Starbucks just behind him. As the walking light shone on the pedestrian stoplight Jay made a note of mapping out his path so that he ended right back here. Because even though he'd consumed a full cup of coffee today he was still feeling very much drained and exhausted and a latte was very much in his future. He quietly nodded his head in thanks or blurted out an apology as he wove his way through the slow moving pedestrians. Life was definitely progressing to the busier stages of the city life now. People weren't four layers deep in clothes and slipping and sliding on sidewalks anymore. Instead those days were switched out for light jackets and regular shoes, people slowly transitioning away from marshmallow man to human being figures once more. Furthermore there were just more people out now than there was when Jay first started this whole exercise, weight gaining adventure of his. Back in those days he was lucky if he saw three, five people, which Jay was totally fine with since he was not at all looking for viewers of his near pass out, dog panting routines that he called walking. But as he'd progressed and grown and gained stamina again, so too did the streets and sidewalks of the city. They all were growing, strengthening, become full fledged humans once again. Funny how the timing of this whole thing played out: when he needed to be inside the most, the city gave him that time and space. And now, as he was becoming more and more ready to get back out there and enjoy life outside four walls, both he and the city were doing their best to meets those needs. Things weren't quite at mass packed as they would be in a month or so, but it was nice to finally see people and have people see him without giving strange looks. Now, if they were to hear what he was listening to in those Air Pods and see the band around his right wrist, then things might be different. But to every person he jogged past on the streets he was a totally looking and acting normal guy, a person who blended right into the backdrop of the city's bustling lifestyle. Jay loved that more than anything in the world.
He really began zoning out once the weird words on the sidewalks gave out and the mystery legs from Poland came into view. Jay never understood the words on the ground, it was everything from 'read,' 'write,' and 'inspire' to 'grow' and 'recharge.' Probably some art installation, but the Wabash and Roosevelt intersection was the only place in the city that had words cemented into them and none of them making any sense. From the words themselves to the collection of them all, Jay mentally scratched his head every time he came across them. If he had time, which he never did, he'd truly sit there and try to figure out what it all actually meant. Because he wasn't an idiot, but this little piece of things was a head scratcher to say the least. But that whole oddness faded very quickly, as did most of the world by now. He was really getting into his zone now. The last big landmark were the legs in Grant Park, their dark iron and metal frames so odd and so out of place feeling, but something you truly have to marvel at in person. They are huge, there's so many of them, and all of them look like molded legs with nothing on top. Like a human chopped off at the waist line of pants, which is a rather grotesque description but makes total sense when you see it, it is the oddest thing the city was ever gifted. Jay always joked to himself as he cut into the park that those ghastly things to his left looked like mess ups of another project. That every time the artist messed up, instead of scrapping the whole thing he'd bubblewrap the thing and ship it to America. After all, the Americans would think it was great and find some kind of deep, solace meaning to them, not at all realizing it was a slight joke played on them. Jay never had the time to count all of them out, but it had to be well over a hundred of these 'mistake' mystery leg sculptures at the base of Grant Park, Jay always getting a good chuckle in as he chugged past them, getting deeper and deeper into the park and closer to the water's edge.
That was where he always loved to run. It was calming, it was quiet, it was a very nice and flat and easy jog to do; especially first thing in the morning. Some days the fog swallowed the cityscape whole. Other days it was partially gone, creating this stunning grey portrait all around him. The water was a beautiful blue, green murky hue while the city was speckled with all variations of grey and dark blues and black. To some it would look sad, depressing, and all other kinds of negative adjectives. But Jay truly loved it, found the beauty in the darkness of it all. His life had been looking like that for quite sometime, so he was finally able to see the joy in sadness, the beauty in the dark and difficult things. But today none of this was the case. Those sun rays that pumped warmth and life into him had managed to push all the morning fog and dreariness away, leaving behind a cloudless, azure blue sky, the windows of the buildings caught in the path of their light rays reflecting back into the world like sparkling diamonds. It all was so stunning, so perfect, Jay got lost in how long he'd been jogging without a break.
He wasn't quite to a pace of being able to keep up with and tackle a bad guy, but he was doing rather well holding a solid, steady pace for a good chunk of time. Left foot, right foot, breathing in, breathing out, doing it over and over and over again. These were all such basic things in concept, but acts that Jay truly had to fight for. At one point he wasn't breathing on his own. At one point sitting up in bed nearly took him out and always required assistance. And let's not forget it took days before he could stand on his own, walking being the sole goal of a single day. Now look at how far he'd come. He was moving through city block after city block, clocking off mile after mile of the lakefront trail. Every now and then he took himself by surprise at how far he'd come. December 24th, 2021 Jay Halstead would've thought this was a way of life he had to say goodbye to forever. But May 2022 Jay Halstead was almost brought to tears at how proud of himself he was for not letting his setbacks and life hurdles be the definition of his life. As he broke into the museum campus, still breathing just fine and jogging like all the others on the pathway, he could've broken down in tears he was so moved by how far he'd come. In the grand scheme of things he'd accomplished almost two life's worth of things. But in the everyday it was a little at a time, chipping away at the giant elephant sized obstacle in his way. There was just one final piece to the puzzle, the final chunk of the beast that Jay had to work on. He was getting there, he was so close he could almost feel it in his fingertips. Which funny enough, that particular element of life was tantalizing close. So close in fact it was standing right in front of him, toes curling around the ledge that wove around the lake, head bowed and eyes locked in on where the brain wanted it to go next. At first Jay noted the guy, didn't think much of it. After all people were allowed to stand super close to the edge of the water, it happened all the time. In fact, Jay had started taking note of the people as he ran this path everyday and without fail, at least four people were doing what this stranger was. However, the Spidey senses had kicked in, those good old detective skills were kicking off the rust now, stretching themselves before getting back to work. It had been so long, but they were sounding alarms rather loud in Jay's mind now. As Jay turned himself back around, slowing to a steady walk he noted more about the stranger on the edge of Chicago. He was gone, the eyes open but looking rather soulless. He was breathing deep, labored, looking every bit scared at what he was trying to will himself to do. The sniffing that took the whole body on a twitch movement was all Jay needed to know. He'd been this stranger, kid really, not too long ago. Not that he ever stood at the edge of the lake and wanted to hit the bottom and never come up, but mentally he took himself there so many times. Jay knew he couldn't just lunge for the kid and save him, any sudden movement would be what triggered him to jump. So instead he fully stopped moving now, bent over so his hands rested on his legs about mid thigh, and did his very best to fully inhale wind before exhaling it. He did his very best to not sound as out of breath as he was and felt. But through the breathing he made a point of speaking directly to the kid, being loud and poignant enough that this kid knew that from behind, someone was talking right to him, trying to call him quite literally off the edge of everything.
"Hey, you alright?" And before Jay could stand up and race to stop the kid's movement, he disappeared into the freezing cold, sloshing, murky mess that was Lake Michigan. He was there and gone, a rather eerie and sinister reminder of just how quickly life can change for the bad. He was safe, dry, alive and now Jay had no other choice but to jump into the freezing cold of the unknown. He was not about to let dark fate claim this victory.
…
"911 what's your emergency?"
"This is detective Jay Halstead, badge number 51163," rattled right out of him like it was second nature. It had been a minute since he'd run that number out of his mouth or had to relay to dispatch what latest trouble a citizen of Chicago was under, but it just came out of nowhere, somewhere in his system and honestly it felt amazing. Jay was hastily kicking off sneakers as he continued to speak, ripping the still running Apple Watch off his wrist as he went on.
"I have a jumper who just went into the lake at museum campus. I'm right at the turn just behind the Field Museum. I'm keeping this call live so you can triangulate the exact location," Jay spoke as hoodie was removed from him just as a perfect and extra stiff breeze blew right into him, doing it's very best to sway him from jumping into the frigid lake water.
"Copy that 51163."
"I'm gunna need an ambo here. No, make that two," he corrected himself, figuring that in about three, four minutes he too would be in need of medical assistance. That one made his voice quiver, not at all looking forward to what was about to happen next. Part of him was absolutely shocked he was doing this, given a minute ago he was jogging like any other guy and having a totally normal day. How this was happening to him and so fast wanted to plague his mind, but Jay wasn't having any of it. This kid was in massive trouble and trying to do something very permanent for a very likely temporary issue. He wasn't gunna let this happen.
"Detective please be advised to not jump in after. Search and resume is en route." Jay shook his head, walked to the very edge the kid had just jumped from, peering into the water he'd be submerged in in milliseconds. The bubbles from the splash were dwindling as the tide and waves were trying to overcome the disruption it had just experienced. The kid hadn't come up, was very likely close to the bottom by now. Seconds were going to be the difference maker here. Jay didn't have time to think. The final step was to pull the Air Pods out of his ears, chuck them on the ground close to the phone, take a deep breath, and let the adrenaline and instincts take over. Before he was ready, he was fully under the water.
Now it should be noted that Lake Michigan is always cold. Like in the heart of July you wouldn't be able to stay in it for very long. Unless you were one of those people that thrives off of cold weather and water and enjoys spine chilling water temps, then it would be delightful to take a dip in the lake. However, this was early May on a breezy day and the city was still trying to come out of deep winter freezes and buckets of snow and ice. So take the highest summer temperature and drop it about twenty-five, thirty degrees. It was worse than a thousand needles, it was worse than the worst ice bucket challenge ever. It was so cold that Jay had no other choice but to surface back to the top instantaneously, his brain and every fiber of him said he had to or he'd perish. It literally took his breath away, his whole body immediately cold, shivering, convulsing almost. He could feel the body heat escaping him, sense that if he didn't hurry up he too would be in a dire moment. So against everything telling him not to, Jay took in another huge breath and dove back down. He just kept diving, making himself do something he had no desire to repeat ever again. He just had to keep moving, keep swimming down. He had to get that kid if it was the very last thing he did ever…or for today, which was a very likely thing right now.
The biggest obstacle Jay was struggling with was the fact that the lake water wasn't clear. This wasn't like jumping into a big swimming pool or crystal clear waters of Fiji or the Caribbean, this was murky, blue/green lake water that even on the clearest of days didn't provide more than a couple inches of visibility. Divers and water rescues usually had to utilize special equipment to see where they were going and locate people that had fallen in. Jay had none of that, only his vision and beginner sense of currents and wave motion. After a good thirty seconds Jay had to surface for air, propelling himself up to freedom once more, doing a couple spins in an effort to gauge where this kid might be before diving back down and trying again. This second attempt to get to the bottom did provide him guidance in a way. Those sun rays from earlier were instrumental in giving him flashes of light deep into the lake bottom. It would come in snapshots almost. A flicker here and glint there, but almost two minutes after he'd jumped into the lake he saw a hand flash across his view. That was all he needed. Jay used every ounce of strength to get down there, sighing an huge amount of relief as his hand grabbed onto another one, and soon the next hurdle of this operation began: carrying heavy, water logged human weight that was feeling a little dead by now. The kid didn't flinch when Jay grabbed hold of him and there was no assistance in getting back to the surface. Jay gasped rather loud when his mouth finally met sky, oxygen, life sustaining air, taking the couple seconds to soak it all in before pulling the kid's head above water.
"Come on, kid. Don't do this to me now," Jay spoke to the lifeless person in his grasp. Now able to breath, Jay adjusted the kid so that his back was resting on Jay's chest, his head cradled between Jay's shoulder and head. Before moving Jay had to regain visual of where he was and where he needed to be. Finally locating the ledge he realized they'd floated a good twenty, thirty feet away from the starting point.
"Hang in there. Hang in there," Jay chattered through gritted, shivering teeth. He was really feeling the effects of the jump into the freezing water now. His body was now starting to shut down, breathing getting harder and harder as his muscles were their tightest ever. But he kept kicking, kept struggling. He had to get to the ledge. He had to get him, both of them, out of this water.
"Detective Halstead….detective Halstead," was calling for him as he felt the cement wall bump up against his back, Jay going under the water for a couple seconds to hoist the kid out of the water and back onto dry ground.
"Detective Halstead do you copy," dispatch called out once more as Jay used his final measures of strength to get himself back onto dry ground. This was the coldest he felt this entire sideways mission. He almost thought about getting back into the water. The wind wasn't dying down and his clothes being glued to his body now, nothing was warming him at all.
"I…copy," Jay panted, coughing a few times before willing himself to get up, examine the kid he'd just rescued.
"Victim is unconscious and is not breathing."
"Copy that, we'll update paramedics."
"Starting compressions," Jay alerted before plugging the kid's nose, breathing a breath of air into the mouth before pumping his fist on the chest. He knew he had to go at least two inches deep and fast, at least that's what Will told him one time years ago. He was pumping, pushing, shaking so much as the water dripped all over and onto the kid's face and body. A couple times Jay swore he was blacking out, seeing spots here and there but he knew he had to keep going.
"Still…nothing," he gasped as he heard the wail of sirens way off in the distance. It sounded like they were about as far away as Michigan Avenue was. They were close, but probably another five or so minutes till they were with him and helping.
"Come on…come on…I'm not losing you now," Jay spoke over and over again. He swore he heard a rib crack just as he spotted medics racing to his location, Jay almost feeling like tearing up because someone far more capable of this life saving stuff had arrived. He was beyond sore now, snot running out of his nose he was so cold, he was on the verge of collapsing now.
"We got it, detective. We'll take it from here," was all Jay need to hear before he rolled to his right, landed flat on his back and did everything to not die right here at the edge of Lake Michigan. He closed his eyes, propped his legs so that his feet were resting flat on the ground, and placed his shivering, shaking hands against his chest. The sun was doing it's very best to warm him, shining ever so bright on his soaking wet body. But alas, the water had done it's deed to the full, was winning any kind of battle between it and the sunlight. Jay really did think he was dying.
"Get…detective Upton…out here," was the final thing he recalled saying out loud. A warmed blanket was thrown on top of him, not doing much to stop the shivering but at least there was something warm on top and encasing him.
"We got you. You're gunna be okay. Just breathe," the medics assigned to him spoke as Jay decided passing out was the next best move. He just prayed he was gunna wake up at Med, which was a big thing for him to wish.
…
"Oh God," she muttered under her breath upon seeing the showcase that was unfolding at the museum campus today. It looked more like the scene in the immediate after a mass casualty event. So many police vehicles. Multiple ambulances. Hundreds and hundreds of people peering out at the horror in front of them. Police tape all over the area, roping off the walkways and running trails and sidewalks that lead to the scene of the crime, or special event in this case. Jumping off the ledge and into Lake Michigan wasn't a crime. It was stupid, but it wasn't against the rules by any means. Hailey had only seen the outskirts of things, but it was enough to make her stomach drop and hands began to shake. Her original plan was to park in a legal spot and then go on foot. But as she got closer and closer to the Field Museum entrance she forewent all of that, instead pulling to a stop in between other cop cars against the shoulder and park. After all she was a cop and this was a bit of an emergency so she wasn't theoretically doing anything wrong. She took a deep breath as she put the car in park, unclenching her hands from the steering wheel and using a couple seconds to sit against the driver's seat and breathe. She was seriously shaking now, really doing her best to not let the tears get going. She knew Jay was alive, that was probably the only thing keeping her from not bolting out of the vehicle screaming his name like a lunatic fiancé. But she'd gotten the five second story of what had happened this morning: he was alive but he jumped into the lake after a kid and had managed to pull him out before succumbing to mild hypothermia. She was rather scared still, given that he hadn't been cleared to do any kind of crazy activity like going for a quick swim in the bitterly cold lake water in early May. But then the thought of him having a seizure really took over, that making her squirm in her seat at the thought of him having one while in the water or out on his run. She knew they'd talked about this, that this was always going to be a fear of hers while he went through this reentry process into living life outside the apartment and going to work. She knew that she'd always have this fear of the worst case scenario happening, she just wasn't anticipating it to happen a couple weeks after their talk. So she gave herself the out, that it was okay to feel the way she was. Because she was always going to have these fears, she was always going to worry despite his reluctant reassurance that all was well. Even more so, she was going to be her most scared when the first event like this came up, so she decided it was best to happen as soon as it did. Perhaps the next time she wouldn't be this worried about him, or this close to saying she wasn't going to sign off on him coming back to work or doing anything remotely dangerous. Now she was really getting deep into her emotions and she wasn't liking it. Hailey opened her eyes, grabbed the door handle, and willed herself to get out there and find him. She needed to see him, lay eyes on him and see him well in order for the pit of her stomach to stop falling.
It appeared the museums and aquarium visitors had poured out of their respective buildings to watch the water rescue and events thereafter. Hailey excused and apologized herself through the crowd, again doing her very best to retain composure as she inched her way closer to Jay. She was a cop and she was on duty and the very last thing she wanted civilians to see was her out of her mind worried while on the clock. She finally broke through when the yellow tape nearly smacked her in the face. A couple patrol officers attempted to stop her, but all she had to do was flash the badge on her belt and they ushered her right in. Now she could take in the scene of it all. It was an absolutely stunning day, the sun hitting her right in the face so hard that her right hand immediately went up as a shield, turning her head from left to right as she kept taking things in. Any kind of water outlines of people had dried up, the water sloshing and waving and rolling just like it did any other day, not giving any kind of inkling that something crazy and near tragic had happened a little over an hour ago. She failed to see any kind of white sheet, which was good news for both Jay and whoever he'd saved. Close to the lakefront trail she spotted the two ambulances that Jay had called for, noting one was closed up with the lights on, looking as if it was ready to roll while the other was shut off and still. That wasn't good news, Hailey fearing the lack of urgency as a sign: there was nothing to rush to safety. She prayed that wasn't Jay in there. The thought made her want to bolt down there, but instead she told herself one step at a time, she was going to get there whether she sprinted or calmly walked. Nodding to officers as she passed them, Hailey made her way down to the epicenter of it all, getting a couple pokes in the direction of the ambulances along the way. She choose the ambo with lights first, praying that she didn't have to go over to the other one. Her hand was on the door, about to open it when it flew open instead, Hailey nearly falling back on her heels as she moved to get out of the way of the swinging door.
"Oh! I'm so sorry," the medic called to her, Hailey could only nod, taking another step back as she crossed her arms across her chest.
"Is he in there?"
"Who?"
"Detective Halstead?" The medic nodded, Hailey releasing all tensions in her person, sighing out loud this time as she rubbed her forehead with the back of her hand.
"If I wasn't so relieved I'd kill him for pulling this stunt," she accidentally thought aloud. The medic chuckled, jumping down onto the ground before closing the door behind her. Hailey couldn't take her eyes off the door. Clearly Jay was laying down since she couldn't see him in the tiny window. Her eyes glued to the closed doors as the medic spoke to her.
"Before you go in there, the boy he pulled out didn't make it. We haven't told him yet so if he asks, I think it would be best if you told him." Hailey nodded, head falling as she spoke.
"Do we know who he was? Why he did this," she spoke above a whisper?
"Not yet. He didn't look older then twenty. He was wearing a Loyola sweatshirt so we took some pics and the police are running it by the school." Hailey nodded, motioning to the door for it to be opened.
"I'd like to see him now."
"Sure thing! He's also trying to get out of here and go home. Swears he's fine."
"That sounds like Jay alright," Hailey chuckled. The medic nodded, opening the door for her and stepping aside so Hailey could hoist herself up into the rig.
"I'll give you guys a couple minutes," the medic said, Hailey nodded her thanks. Peace, comfort, relief flooded her system as she finally got eyes on Jay. He very much was lying down on the gurney, eyes closed and head turned to the side. Hailey had done this medical song and dance with him once too many times over the last six months. He was hooked up to monitors, Hailey a little upset that she knew what she was reading by now. His heart rate was normal, oxygen great and breathing steady. The good news was that she didn't see any IV lines and he wasn't on oxygen assistance. The bad news was that he was under so many blankets and still cold to the touch. Hailey sighing quietly as she brushed a hand on the top of his head, flinching at the cold, wet hair under her hand.
"Jay," she quietly called to him, continuing to brush the top of his head till he started stirring. His eyes finally cracked open, Hailey watching his eyes dance around the ambo and ceiling till he found her.
"We're not at Med are we," he quietly grogged into the rig. Hailey snorted a little as she chuckled, shaking her head as she leaned in to kiss his forehead.
"Nope, we're still in the ambo," she said just before planting the kiss, feeling Jay nod as her lips pulled away.
"Okay," he puffed, now trying to sit up which was a struggle given he was attached to things.
"Hey, just stay laying down," Hailey encouraged, doing her best to lay her arms on him to help keep him down, but Jay wasn't having any of it.
"It's fine, just pull the stuff over there," he pointed to as he managed to sit up, waiting for Hailey to free more of the wiring that was sitting behind him. She got that task done before adjusting the blankets so they were still wrapped around him. He was a sad sight to behold, but he was always going to end up this way one way or the other. But Hailey wouldn't have him any other way.
"Can you find my Watch," he asked as Hailey began to sit back on the bench across from the gurney. Hailey twisted left and right in search of the stuff before locating what he was asking for, she giggled a little as she read it aloud.
"You've been on a run for two hours?" Jay rolled his eyes, sitting back against the wall as Hailey shut the thing off. The two of them just sat in silence for a moment, absorbing the fact they were here and appreciating that both were okay. Hailey was the first to break the silence.
"So…how was your run?" Jay rolled his eyes.
"It was going great till I took that hard right into the lake." Hailey now rolled her eyes, making a point of exhaling out loud in annoyance.
"What?!"
"Jay, if I wasn't so relieved to see you alive and well I would seriously smack you. You scared me half to death!"
"Oh, I might've lost my medical bracelet," Jay interrupted, shoving his right wrist out from under the blankets and showing off his bracelet free wrist.
"We'll get you another one," Hailey joked.
"Sorry, it must've come off when I was pulling him out of the water."
"Again Jay, if that's the worst thing to come out of this, I think you'll be okay. We'll call Amelia on the way home from Med."
"I'm not going to Med," Jay was quick to shoot back. Hailey really thought she could easily slip that in there and he'd oblige. That was so never going to happen.
"Jay, you passed out."
"For five minutes, if that."
"You have mild hypothermia."
"Nothing a nice warm shower won't cue." Hailey sighed, exhaling rather loud in frustration and letting Jay win.
"You will never change," she expressed in frustration, making Jay laugh.
"But that's why you love me, right?!"
"Sure." The silence fell between them once more, Jay's once happy and calm demeanor was gone, taking it's place concern and wondering about the other person in all of this. He pulled his head up, turning to the right to look outside the tiny window of the ambulance. That's when he noted the second ambo next to them, the lights not on and the whole thing looking very dark and still.
"He didn't make it did he." Jay peeled himself away from the window and back to Hailey, who was shaking her head in utter silence. Now the sniffing was starting, the forced calm breaths as she did her best to talk through the emotions that were trying to go off.
"Nope. They're trying to figure out who he is…was. He had on a Loyola sweatshirt so they're starting there. Poor kid."
"Yeah," Jay quietly spoke, more silence in the rig as Jay allowed Hailey to let things out. He knew she was probably scared for him, which was understandable to say the least. He went out for a run this morning and dove into freezing water before thinking about how it would effect him. He had this one life to live, and was currently recovering and getting back from something that nearly took him down. He did too much too soon, really pushed himself to dangerous limits. He was lucky to be where he was and still, part of him was upset he didn't do more.
"I'm sorry Hailey," Jay started, but she shook her head, leaning over to place a hand on his blanketed knee.
"No, you don't need to apologize. You did what you thought was best in a random, freak thing. You know it's always going to scare me, you being out there after everything that's happened." Jay nodded, now putting his hand on top of hers, both of them just looking at each other, doing that quiet talking thing they knew so well. Their thing, their little language that told a thousand tales in a single look. Hailey nodded, sniffing away tears as Jay smiled at her.
"I'm sorry still."
"Stop apologizing. I'm just glad you're alright. Because if you weren't I would kill you," she teased, which made Jay chuckle as he continued to smile at her.
"But you're still a total idiot for jumping into the lake in May. You do realize it's freezing cold still and it finally above freezing temperatures."
"Oh, so you jump into the river in February and you're a hero. I jump into the lake in May and I'm an idiot." Hailey rolled her eyes, snickering as she sat up a little. He had her on that one.
"Yeah well…I'm not the one with a brain tumor."
"Well I don't have a brain tumor so…" He trailed off with. Hailey seriously froze in time. She had to be hearing things, he was bluffing, lying, something. Her eyes were huge, voice starting to shake all over again as she asked for clarification.
"What did you say?"
"I don't have a brain tumor anymore," he rather proudly proclaimed.
"Amelia texted this morning that the scans came back clear. I'm now officially in remission." He just barely got that last part out because Hailey just about threw herself on him, lips locking with his as the two of them began a rather long, emotional kiss. It was one of relief. It was a kiss of passion. It was a kiss of being happy and in love and shocked that at last, on this early May Day in 2022, Jay Halstead was tumor free, worthy and ready to live a life without fear and worry over what was ahead. Their kiss only ended when someone knocked on the door, saying they were ready to leave. Hailey asked for another minute as she panted for air, both of them resting on each other's forehead, looking directly into the eyes of each other and knowing exactly what was coming next.
"So, we have some unfinished business to attend to," Jay rather coyly spoke. Hailey gave him a mischievously, wry smile. Like she was all in on his crazy plan. Today, right now, this very moment, there were going to make things official.
"The rings are in my bedside table."
"Good, we'll grab them on the way. Plus I don't exactly want to do this in wet clothes." Hailey laughed, suddenly unable to let go of his hand.
"Let's spring you out of here," she announced. And they did just that. Jay officially refused medical treatment, signing off on whatever paperwork that made him liable in the event something happened to him. After that it was a quick walk to the car, Hailey making sure he had the blankets wrapped around him till they got to the apartment. Jay showered, proving that the mild hypothermia was all he needed to feel alive once more. Hailey grabbed the rings, paced the apartment as Jay finished getting ready.
"Should we call Will at least? Tell him the good news?"
"Eh, he'll find out in time," Jay joked as they walked out the front door. They were two stupid idiots in love, laughing and giggling and barely able to keep their hands off of each other on the ride to the courthouse. An hour later it was finally their turn in line, each of them stepping in front of the judge and her podium, exchanging vows as rings were slipped on one at a time.
"I, Jay Halstead, take you, Hailey Upton, to be my lawfully wedded wife. We've already done the in sickness and in health part so I'm just gunna say this: we're in this till the very end. Till the wheels fall off. Until the lights go out. Till the end of time is reached. And then, we'll figure it out from there." Hailey beamed so bright, her eyes so full of love, light, happiness.
"Ditto to all of that," she lovingly spoke back.
"I, Hailey Upton, take you, Jay Halstead, to be my lawfully wedded husband. Where you go, I go. Partners for life. Until the light go out."
"Sounds good to me," the judge interrupted, which made both of them laugh for a good minute or so. At last, the storm had passed over them, Hailey standing on the tips of her toes to kiss her husband for the first time. So many times he was inches away from escaping their eternal. For days and months they never saw this outcome arriving. For awhile there Jay thought they would be the saddest love story ever told. Two people that needed to be together but had life and all it's ugliness blockade their love. That despite their best efforts it would all be for not. But as he wrapped his arms around his wife's waist, feeling, smelling, holding her in close he realized the only thing that was going to keep them from a life of together forever was the very thing he tackled. The beast had taken his life for six months, his hair, and donated a chunk of his brain to epilepsy. But for the first time in forever, Jay was not afraid. He now wore those badges and titles with honor. Jay Halstead: a brain tumor survivor and recently diagnosed epileptic. Life was finally something to look up at, marvel in, and embrace fully. His life was his fully once more. The reigns had finally, mercifully, at last, been handed back to its' rightful owner. Now, he still really needed to get that latte.