double upload woooo

I half wake up in the morning to the feeling of something prodding me in the cheek. I swat it away, grumbling sleepily and rolling over, away from what I assume is Pikachu.

"Ash. Ash!"

I snap awake, but struggle to open my eyes, and groggily groan as Dawn slowly comes into view. She's still in her pyjamas, and a pair of slippers, her hair a wild mess around her face. That's what has me sitting upright, because Dawn would never leave her room in the morning looking like this unless she thought it was important.

"Dawn?" I say groggily, rubbing my eyes. Beside me, Pikachu crawls under the covers to get away from the noise.

She's frowning, and holding out her phone, but my eyes haven't adjusted yet, and I can't see what she's trying to show me. I reach out and take the phone, blinking until my eyes clear up enough to see it's a news article.

My eyes snap onto the photo at the top. It's of Goh and I, in the moment we stood in the hotel lobby, my hand in his hair. From the angle it was taken from, it almost looks like we might be about to kiss. My heart sinks, dread pooling in my stomach as I scroll down, taking in a few words before putting the phone down quickly and sucking in a deep breath through my nose.

"Did you kiss him?" Dawn asks, sitting beside me.

"No," I answer quickly. "He was drunk and I had to help him back to his room. Nothing happened. I-" I look back down at the phone in my lap, and the second picture in the article, of Goh and I sitting at the booth in the bar side by side, faces close together. I bite down on my lip hard as I read the caption underneath:

The potential new couple seem absolutely smitten with each other- especially with that look in Ash's eyes!

"It goes on about the way you looked at him in the contest too," Dawn explains gently, taking the phone back so I don't read any more.

"They think I'm in love with him because of the way I look at him?" I ask incredulously.

"Never doubt an internet detective." Dawn shakes her head. "But you are, aren't you?"

I furrow my brows, and choose not to answer her, because she clearly already knows. And, looking at the pictures, I can see where the article is coming from. I'd probably think the same thing.

"Do you think he'll see this?" I ask, fear gripping my chest tight. I don't know why that frightens me so much.

"I doubt it," she says, but she doesn't seem sure. "But this sort of thing… It could spread. You're famous, and people love to speculate."

"What do I do?" I ask, feeling helpless and pathetic.

"You don't have to do anything. You don't owe it to anyone to disprove it." She looks down at the phone and locks it, hiding the images away. "I can talk to Goh, if you like. I can let him know the rumour is out there, so he can decide if he wants to do anything about it."

I consider the option. I'd not considered that Goh might be upset about the rumour, especially if it starts to spread, and someone like Tokio, or his parents see. I know Chloe said he was open about being gay- but how open she meant, I'm not sure. Besides, I'm not out at all, to anyone besides Goh, Chloe and Dawn. This isn't the way I want my mom to find out, or anyone else I know.

"Shit," I curse under my breath, shaking my head.

"There's one other thing you could do," she says quietly, almost hesitantly. "But I don't know how much Goh would like it. Or you."

"Go on." I'll listen to literally any suggestions right now.

"Well, you could get into a fake relationship, to get the public off your back."

I blink blankly at her. "A fake relationship," I repeat. "With who?"

She shrugs. "Someone you trust. Someone you're absolutely sure you have nothing romantic with, so you both know it's just that. I'd offer but uh, I don't think anyone would believe I've turned straight for you."

I try to think about someone like that. There's Misty- but she's married now. May- but Drew would never agree to that, and I wouldn't want him to. Iris- but I know she would despise it. All of my other female friends are too distant now.

"What about Marnie?" Dawn suggests.

Actually, that's a good idea. I know Marnie would laugh at the idea of ever having romantic feelings for me, and obviously I'd never be into her, either. The public would probably believe it, too, if we sold it enough. I just don't know if it's worth doing yet.

"I'll talk to Goh about it. If by the end of the day it's spreading, I'll ask her," I sigh.

"Okay." She stands again. "I'm gonna get dressed. We should probably head off."

I nod, and watch as she leaves again, closing the door behind her. I run my hands over my face, letting out a groan. Pikachu's head pops out from under the covers, frowning at me. I force myself to stand and get dressed, because the longer I lay here, the harder it'll be to get up. Maybe this whole thing will be nothing. Maybe that one article is all there will be, and I won't have to worry at all.

— — — —

By the time I get dressed and go to Goh's room, he's already seen it. I can tell when he opens the door, because he steps well back, and doesn't invite me in. He seems awkward, and not just because of last night. I stick my hands in my pockets and frown through the door at him, waiting for him to speak, because I can tell he wants to.

"There's, um…" He looks down at the carpet, and I don't think I've ever seen him look so awkward. "I saw a, uh-"

"I know," I say, saving him from having to say it. "I saw it."

He looks back up at me. "It's all over my social media accounts. Everywhere. I woke up to calls from my parents asking me about it."

I curse under my breath. "I'm so sorry, Goh. I guess I should have known they'd do this- it happens almost every time." It's true- last year I spent the day with Iris in Unova and the day after every news outlet was posting the same story about us being in a secret relationship.

"It's okay," he says, but he seems upset. I can't blame him. Now we won't even be able to act normal around each other, for fear someone's watching, and taking it the wrong way. It's not fair for either of us, but especially for him, when he doesn't even like me that way. And now, knowing it's spreading like wildfire, it's making me feel sick with anxiety, because the whole world is speculating whether I'm straight or not.

I don't realise I'm staring down for a while until Goh speaks again, snapping me out of it. "This is really fucked up. You should say something publicly. It's not fair for people to be analysing your every move, and trying to figure out your sexuality."

"Is that what they're doing?" I ask. "I only saw one article."

He hesitates for a second. "Yeah. There's a lot of threads going back over things you've done and said. People picking things up and debating it with each other."

I think I might actually throw up. I can tell it's written all over my face, but Goh doesn't want to step forward, because this is putting another wall up between us. I'm terrified- not just because the paparazzi are trying to out me, but also because this could be what breaks our rekindling friendship.

I could make a statement, but I'm terrible at that, and people are still going to talk. A lot of them probably won't believe me. Eventually, I'd like to be comfortable enough to let the world know, but right now I'm barely even processing everything myself. I take a deep breath.

"It's fine. I'll fix this."

"Ash-" He takes a step forward, and I take one back.

"Don't worry. Just meet us outside in ten minutes. We gotta get going."

– – – –

In those ten minutes, I call Marnie. Honestly, I don't even expect her to answer, but she does, and she doesn't even waste time with a greeting. She goes right into asking me if it's true. I tell her it's not, and explain the situation. Marnie's never been the most social, and really only lets go of her cold exterior when she's drinking, but right now she seems pretty warm and understanding. But I'm stalling, avoiding getting to the point, and she can tell.

"So why did you really call me?" she asks. I hear her light a cigarette.

"I need your help." I sigh. "This is really bad. For both me and Goh."

There's a second of silence where I try to figure out how to word it, but then she laughs, startling me. "I know what you're going to ask, Ash. I'll do it, if you think it will help."

I let out a sigh of genuine relief. "Thank you," I say. "I'll be in Ballonlea tonight. Can you come?"

She hums on the other end. "Yeah. I guess. What, are we gonna frolic around in public? Ballonlea doesn't seem like the best place to make yourself seen."

I go red, knowing I'm going to have to do something to sell the idea to people. The thought of kissing Marnie, though… I shudder. "I don't think it matters where we are at this point."

"Right," she says. "See you tonight, then."

"See you," I say, and hang up. I debate explaining to Goh what I'm doing, but I think he'll feel responsible in a way, and I don't want him trying to convince me that I don't need to do this. Marnie and I can pretend, just for a couple of days, and then I'll be back in Unova, away from both of them, and over time people will assume Marnie and I were just a quick fling, and the idea of Goh and I will be dismissed completely.

— — — —

It takes almost the whole day to reach Ballonlea. We stop in Stow-on-Side to meet up briefly with Bea, who doesn't ask about the rumour, but whose eyes keep flicking between Goh and I when she thinks I'm not looking. It doesn't seem too awkward between Goh and I, but we still stand on opposite ends of the group, and never split off from Dawn and Chloe. We visit the markets, too, and grab lunch, before driving the rest of the way.

I drive into Glimwood Tangle, through trees so tall you can't see the tops, past vibrant glowing mushrooms that light up the dark with a neon glow. This place is still probably the most magical place I've ever been, and despite our situation, I'm in awe of it. Ballonlea sits in the heart of it, nestled quietly amongst the forest.

I drive slowly through the main street. Not many cars pass through here, and not many people live here, either. I drive until I see the Pokémon Centre, and Marnie standing outside of it, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest.

Dawn turns to look at me from the passenger seat, which she'd stolen from Goh because she wanted a better view of Glimwood Tangle, but I pointedly ignore her.

"Is that Marnie?" Chloe asks from the back as I start to pull up. Clearly Dawn didn't bring up the suggestion she made.

"Yeah," I say, parking. "I asked her to come."

Chloe and Goh are silent in the back, and I get out first. Marnie pushes off the wall and walks towards me. It may be quiet in Ballonlea, but there are still plenty of people milling about or in the Centre, so it makes sense when Marnie throws her arms around me for a hug, and plants a kiss on my cheek.

"You owe me big time," she hisses into my ear, but when she pulls away, she has a sickly sweet smile on her face. Then she leans up and kisses me quickly, just a fleeting press of her lips on mine.

"Hi Marnie," Dawn says, coming up beside me. Goh and Chloe hang behind her, and I can't bring myself to look back at them. "This is a nice surprise."

"Do they know?" Marnie asks me. I shake my head, feeling guilty. I should probably have explained before we got here. Goh looks absolutely perplexed.

"What's going on?" He asks.

"I'll explain," I say to him. "But we need to find some place to stay first."

"We can stay with Bede," Marnie suggests. "You might have trouble finding anywhere else."

I hold back my sigh. I know Marnie gets along okay with Bede, but I have a vehement dislike for him. I rarely ever dislike someone, and yet I dislike him, despite only having met him twice. Still, it's better than camping out in the forest, where some Impidimp are likely to steal our luggage while we sleep.

"Okay," I agree begrudgingly. "But we're going to Wyndon first thing tomorrow."

She shrugs. Bede lives by the gym, and it's not far from here, so we grab the luggage out of the truck and head down the street. Marnie reaches out and takes my hand as we do, her fingers lacing around mine. Her hand is cold, and it makes me want to recoil away from her, but I know she's putting on a show, so I let her. I've seen at least one person take a photo of us.

Bede, the smug asshole that he is, makes a point of giving me the smallest room, and makes it clear through his body language that he's not happy we're staying. Dawn immediately dislikes him, and I have to repeatedly nudge her to remind her to stop glaring so hard. I think he must have seen Marnie and I holding hands on the way up, because he keeps scowling us.

He invites us for dinner, which he has someone else make for him, of course, and we don't really have any choice but to join him. We've been sitting for less than half an hour when he clears his throat and joins his hands together in front of him, smirking down the table at me.

"So, you're fucking Marnie now, are you?"

I almost choke, and even Marnie has the sense to look offended. "Bede," she hisses sternly, her brows furrowed. "Really?"

He shrugs. "Well, I just think it's strange, given that you two have no chemistry whatsoever."

"And you're a good judge of that?" I ask him, raising an eyebrow. "What Marnie and I do is our business."

I still haven't had time to explain to Goh, but I think Dawn must have explained to Chloe, because she doesn't seem confused anymore, just awkward, like he wants the ground to swallow him. Bede smiles, but it's a wicked smile.

"Of course," he says sweetly. "I didn't mean any offence."

He did, but I don't bother arguing. A guy like Bede is always looking to bait you into an argument, and I'm not about to give him what he wants. Silence stretches on for another few minutes until he speaks again.

"Forgive me, but I don't recall meeting you," Bede says, looking directly at Goh. I seize up, not liking where this is going at all. Goh's tense- I can tell by how he clenches his jaw. "Your name is Goh, right? I think I did see you in an article this morning, though."

"Yes," he replies coolly. "And that was just a rumour."

Bede presses his lips into a thin line and nods. "I see. I'm rather surprised. I always thought Ash might bat for that team."

Something in me snaps, my cold temper surging forward. "Fuck off, Bede."

"Ash," Dawn mutters under her breath, putting her hand on my arm, trying to calm me down, but she knows I can have a bad temper, and he knows how to push my buttons.

"It's okay, Dawn. That was probably a little insensitive of me," Bede says. I stare down at the table, trying to control my breathing, but it's harder every second not to stand up and storm towards him.

"Ash and I are dating," Marnie says matter-of-factly. "We have been secretly for months."

"Don't give me that, Marnie," Bede says harshly, turning to her. "I saw you with Raihan just a month ago. Don't pretend you don't like older men."

I stand, almost knocking my chair back. I can put up with him insulting me, but now he's going too far. He stands too, grinning viciously at me, like it's a challenge.

"Are you going to hit me, Ketchum?"

"What the fuck is your problem?" Dawn asks. Looks like she's had enough, too.

"If you want to hide your obvious obsession for your male friend here then fine." Bede throws up a hand. "I just can't stand fake people."

My brain shuts off, and in a split second I'm in front of him, looking down at him. Goh jumps up, taking hold of me before I can swing for him. Bede looks at Goh, who's standing between us now, a smug look on his face like he's just been proven right. Goh says something to me, but I don't hear him. Blood is rushing past my ears too loudly. I step around him to face Bede again, and before I can say anything, he reaches out and pushes against my chest with both hands.

I exhale a humourless laugh through my nose when I don't move from his shove at all. Then I take another step forward, noticing how he backs up slightly, seeming to shrink a little, cowering against the wall. I look down my nose at him, my brows furrowed.

"Say another word, and next time I won't stop myself from beating your sorry fucking ass," I growl, then step around him, heading for the stairs. If I don't get out of here, I might do something I regret, and I don't want Goh or any of the others to have to see that.

At first I don't think anyone's followed me, but then I hear footsteps on the stairs behind me, and Marnie comes up beside me. She doesn't speak, just follows me into my room, and shuts the door behind her.

"I'm sorry about him," she sighs. "I didn't expect him to be this bad."

"You knew the guy was an asshole," I counter with a snap, though I'm not really annoyed at her. I'm just taking it out on her because she's here. I sigh, trying to rid myself of my mood, but I'm still furious, my hands trembling.

"Well, yeah," she says, unbothered by my tone. "It's because he has a crush on me."

"What?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"He asked me out a while back and I rejected him. He's tried a few times since, too. He probably just doesn't want to believe we're a thing, so he's picking a fight."

"I mean, he's not wrong," I sigh. "Everything he said was right." Then I remember what he'd said about Marnie, and stumble for words. "Except the thing about you. I mean, I don't-"

She laughs, the sound filling the room. "It's okay, Ash. That didn't offend me. He's right, and who cares? Except him, of course."

I blink in surprise. "Oh, right."

"Maybe just stay in here tonight. Better if you don't have to interact with him again. I'll come wake you up in the morning."

"Okay." I sit down on the edge of the bed and bury my head in my hands.

"And Ash? Don't let what he said bother you. It's fine that you don't want people to know yet. This sort of thing needs to go at your pace, and not anybody else's. He was just picking a fight about anything. I doubt he actually thinks you love Goh."

I look up to thank her, but she's already stepping out and closing the door behind her, leaving me with Pikachu, who is nudging my leg repeatedly, looking like he might cry. I reach out and scratch his ears, staring at the wall, my head spinning.

I get changed and lie in bed, at first staring at my phone, but then just staring at the ceiling once again. I wonder if Goh will come to check on me, and end up waiting for him, but it was stupid of me to think he'd come to my room after tonight. I end up waiting until I fall asleep, and I dream of him.

sorry i had to use Bede as an antagonist- I don't actually hate him, he just seemed like the best fit