Marvel Cinematic Universe
The Path Not Taken
By Gabrielle Lawson

Chapter Eight

The sun was rising behind the Statue of Liberty before Bucky shirred. Steve took his hand. Bucky tried to pull it back but he wasn't at full strength yet where Steve was. "Please don't leave me again, Bucky," he pleaded.

"I'm not who you used to know," Bucky countered quietly.

Steve nodded. "Neither am I. The first time I lost you, it was like losing my mom again. It hurt that bad. Made me reckless."

"You were always reckless."

Steve chuckled through the tears. "I was less so with you and the Howlies. It wasn't just me on the line. There was just one more fight after you fell. We stormed Red Skull's base. We almost had him but he took a plane, and I was the only one to get on it. There were bombs for all the major cities. I could have used you beside me then, but it was just me against Red Skull and his men. I didn't have any backup. Schmidt took himself out, in the end. He touched the Tesseract, this blue cube that powered their weapons, and he disappeared. I couldn't fly the plane but I couldn't let it hurt anyone, so I crashed it into the Arctic. I was sad about leaving Peggy, but I kinda hoped I'd catch up with you on the other side. Only neither of us died. I woke up seventy years later thinking Peggy was beyond me and you were still gone.

"I'm so sorry, Bucky. If I'd had any clue you had survived, I would have let the Army deal with Schmidt, even if it meant the war. I would've raided every base, alone if I'd had to, until I found you."

Steve's throat hurt, and tears welled in his eyes. "When I recognized you on the street, I felt awful. You had survived, and even though I didn't know what they did to you, I knew it had to have been terrible. Because you would never have gone along with it if you'd had the choice. And you didn't remember me."

Bucky was tearing up, too. "I hoped for you," he breathed. "Hoped you would come. Two years in they told me you were dead. And I believed them."

"The whole world thought I was," Steve agreed. "I suppose I did, too. Until two years ago. Too late to save you from any of it. But once I knew, I didn't give up. Oh, Bucky, I know it hurts, but none of it was your fault. None of it! You're my friend, my brother. And I need you."

"You have new friends."

Steve smiled. "So do you. But they don't appreciate 40s music, or know how to dance to it. They don't know what it was like without internet and only the radio, newspapers, and black-and-white newsreels to tell us about the world. They don't remember our moms or your sisters. It hurts me, too, that the Howlie's are gone, Peggy's old and doesn't remember well. You're the only one from that part of my life. You remember when I was small, and too stupid to run away from a fight. Bucky, you were my hero. You kept me from getting pulverized so many times, took care of me when I was sick, got me dates. That little Steve is still inside me, but he's not who I am anymore either."

"I wish I could be your Bucky," Bucky admitted. "I remember him. I think maybe he did die."

Steve choked back a sob. "No he's in there, too. But you're not him anymore and I'm not me. We have to live in this time now, and get to know each other again. I'll try. I'll really try, just don't leave me. I still need you."

Clint had been released to go home, for a few days, but Bucky was still in the med bay. He was off the IV and had constant visits by Steve, Sam and Natasha. He couldn't be trusted alone.

Sam finished putting together the new furniture he'd bought—with Tony's money—for Bucky, thanks to a little intel from Steve and Bucky's journals. The front pages anyway. Bucky Barnes hadn't had any pets per se, but he was partial to cats. And cats were good companions who loved unconditionally, as were dogs and other pets. Cats had the advantage of not needing to go for walks outside. Indoor cats needed feeding and to have their litter box scooped. And taking care of a cat would give Bucky some responsibility for more than just himself.

The shelter had taken Sam's insights and shown him a four-month-old white kitten with one blue and one green eye. Her name was Alpine and, while she was deaf, she was playful and very affectionate. A deaf cat would add some challenge for Bucky. He'd have to get out of his own head.

Sam opened the crate and let the kitten explore all the rooms in Steve and Bucky's apartment. He checked the time. Bucky would be released at noon and it was eleven thirty. Alpine found her litter box and water bowl. She scratched a bit on the cat tree, climbed onto the sofa. He followed her to each room as she explored. She sniffed the beds a lot, which Sam thought was good. She'd get Bucky and Steve scents, so she might recognize them when they came down.

When the door opened, Alpine was resting on the sofa beside Sam. She never even twitched. Yep, deaf. She stirred when Sam stood up. Bucky didn't look happy by any means, or even thankful to be alive. His left arm was tightly wrapped in a sling to limit movement. Sam didn't want to think too hard about what it might look like underneath the bandages. Steve was supporting him so he might have still been weakened by the blood loss or perhaps he was still on pain meds.

"Welcome back, Bucky," Sam said. "I've someone here for you to meet."

Alpine was on the far side of the sofa and she watched intently as Steve helped Bucky down onto the other side.

Sam introduced her. "This is Alpine."

"You have a cat?" he asked, his voice quiet and lacking emotion.

Sam smiled. "No, you do. She's yours."

Alpine cautiously stepped toward him, sniffing the air. His metal arm was on her side. Bucky watched her closely. "Her eyes are different."

"They are," Sam agreed. "And she's deaf. She needs someone to watch out for her, to teach her without words, to feed her, clean her box, play with her, and pet her. Steve isn't going to do any of that. It's all you."

"I can't pet her?" Steve pouted.

Sam wanted to laugh but he held back. "Maybe after she's bonded well with Bucky."

She'd reached him now. She sniffed but that arm didn't have much to offer. She tried his leg. Then she stepped onto his lap to smell the rest of him. At first, he didn't move, but, slowly, he lifted his other hand and let her smell that. She nudged his fingers, and he stroked her head.

Sam turned to Steve. "Did you guys have cats growing up?"

Steve shook his head. "No, it was kind of expensive to keep a pet, but there were some in the neighborhoods. We'd put water outside our door, but they ate well enough on the streets."

"There were rats," Bucky explained, but he didn't look up from the kitten.

Sam picked up a box from the floor. "Toys," he told Bucky. "And a book to help you take care of her."

Steve grabbed the book while Bucky reached for a fuzzy worm on a stick. It was brightly colored and Alpine watched it's every move as it wiggled. She tensed her body and swiped at it. Sam thought maybe there was a hint of a smile on Bucky's face. He moved the worm farther out and she jumped down to get it.

"What kind of name is Jackson Galaxy?" Steve asked.

Sam chuckled. "Animal Planet. Has a show helping people with their problem cats, or vice versa. He's also in a rock band. Carries cat toys in a guitar case. Bold head, weird name, but the guy knows cats. He's on YouTube as well. And my nephews really like the Kitten Lady. She fosters little babies, bottle feeds them, stimulating them to pee, the whole thing. Alpine here is a bit further along. She's four months old and uses her litter box well." He turned back to Bucky. "It should be scooped at least once a day. She should eat about three times a day. And not too much. She needs to play for exercise. If you don't want her to be crazy at 3am, play with her until she's all worn out before you go to bed."

Sam watched her play for a few minutes then sat down on the edge of the coffee table. "This is a big responsibility. She's a living being. If you don't think you can manage it, I'll take her back to the shelter. You got this?"

"I can," he responded. "I will."

Sam patted his legs before standing. "Good, I'll leave you to it then."

Steve met him at the door. "You sure he's ready for this?" he whispered.

"That cat is going to help him get outside his own head for a change. And there's not many people that can watch a playing kitten and not smile. Besides, caring form someone has been a survival tactic in some very grim situations. And he won't be alone with her because he won't be alone. Relax."

Steve sighed and nodded. Then he turned back into the apartment where Alpine was chasing a ball that lit up with lights as it moved across the floor. "What do you think of our new roommate?"

"Will it be harder because she can't hear?" Bucky kicked the ball back out and Alpine ran after it.

Steve shrugged. "Not sure. She'll probably use her other senses more. Like smell. She was giving you the once over."

"Her whiskers tickle."

As Steve watched, the little cat did a rather acrobatic flip going after the ball. And when he looked back to Bucky, he was smiling. Steve thought maybe this was going to work after all. He put the book down on the coffee table. "This book will be good, I'm sure, but I think we need a crash course on the basics. Jarvis, can you show us basic care of a kitten?"

The screen on the wall lit up with "How to CARE for a KITTEN" by AnimalWised. It was only six minutes long but covered the really important parts just as Steve had asked.

"I thought vets were people from the miliary," Bucky said. "Like you and me."

"They are," Steve replied. "When it's short for veterans. In this case, it's short for veterinarian, an animal doctor."

"I cannot take her to the vet."

Steve sat on the couch next to Bucky. "She probably went before she was adopted for you but I'll ask Sam later to be sure. Are you hungry?"

"You can't cook."

"I can manage sandwiches," Steve replied in his own defense. "Maybe Alpine is hungry, too.

Steve got up and went to the kitchenette. There was a bag on the counter. Inside was a box of moist cat food with a sticky note saying '1/2 can 3x day.' There was a plastic lid Steve assumed was for the leftover half. There was also a brush and some clippers like the vet used in the video.

Bucky followed him in and opened the box of food. He took out one can but seemed stumped on how to open it with only one hand. The other arm was bound in bandages and the sling limited movement, but Steve had also noticed that the fingers didn't move normally like before. "I'll hold the can. It's the first day. You'll get the hang of it."

So Steve held the can while Bucky opened it and spooned half into a bowl. He snapped the lid on it then set the bowl down near Alpine's water dish. Alpine was waiting and started in on the food right away.

"Well, you are now a cat owner, man. What do you think?" Steve asked Bucky again as he put the can in the fridge.

"I remember an old lady with a cat," Bucky replied without answering the question.

Steve let it go and went with the memory. "Mrs. Hartman, and she had three." He smiled, remembering. "I think were around eleven when one of them had kittens."

"She let us hold them and play with them."

"She did." Steve took out four pieces of bread. "But our moms wouldn't let us have any." He spread mayonnaise on all four pieces. "Said they'd be too much responsibility and cost too much in food and litter. With the Depression right around the corner, it was probably the right decision." He added a good helping of meat and one slice of cheese to each sandwich then reached for the lettuce.

"Tony Stark pays for that here?" Bucky asked. Steve thought maybe he heard worry in Bucky's tone.

"While we live here, yes." Steve handed him a finished sandwich. "He okayed the kitten, so nothing to worry about here. But our moms were right. It's a lot of responsibility. You'll need to feed her, keep water in her bowl, scoop her box, play with her and give her lots of attention. Think you're up for it?"

"I have little else to do," Bucky answered, mouth full.

Steve didn't mind. Bucky and he hadn't cared for every etiquette rule unless there were girls present. "We can find other things, Bucky. It's a big building. For starters, there's that treadmill I told you about. Tony's added a second track. When was the last time you got to run full speed?"

Bucky didn't answer and Steve hoped it wasn't during one of his missions, especially the last one. Bucky grabbed a water bottle from the fridge then went to join the cat in the living room. She was on the cat tree cleaning herself after her meal. Bucky slowly reached a hand toward her head. The cat stopped grooming, sniffed then pushed her head into his hand.

Steve watched them as he finished his sandwich. Bucky seemed captivated as he petted the little cat. Steve decided it was, indeed, a good decision. Right now, Bucky wasn't remembering his lost family or reliving the murders he'd been forced to commit.

Sam was glad to see Alpine as he sat down to speak with Bucky. This was their first session since the suicide attempt. Alpine was presently, adorably tucked into Bucky's sling with just her head poking out. He hoped she was purring in there. This wasn't going to be easy for Bucky.

"How's your shoulder feel?" Sam began, using small talk to begin gently.

"Sore," Bucky admitted. "It's immobilized. It does not work properly."

Well, that would stand to reason after violently ripping it away from your body. But Sam didn't say that. "Hopefully, Tony will find a way to safely remove it and make you a better one. Why did you try that method anyway? There are easier ways to kill yourself."

Bucky's face flushed and he looked down. "I didn't want Steve to find me here." He sighed. "Do you know what he said when they put this arm on me?"

Sam did, but he wanted Bucky to say it. Besides, it might anger Bucky if he knew his notebooks had been read, so that had to brought up delicately. "Who? Zola?"

Bucky nodded. "You will be the new Fist of Hydra." But he didn't elaborate.

"So," Sam thought out loud, "it's a symbol. The arm marks you as Hydra's Winter Soldier. Makes sense. Bucky, killing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. There is a way through this."

He looked away. "I don't think Tony Stark speaks for all my victims."

"If they knew all the circumstances, I think most would forgive you," Sam held. "Bucky, you remember what they did to you. You didn't have a choice. You couldn't make choices like offering mercy or not fulfilling a mission."

"I did with Steve." He still wasn't looking at Sam.

"Steve broke though the programming, and he was probably the only person in the world that could." Alpine shifted and Bucky reached up to pet her. But he didn't say anything. So Sam went on. "You've known him nearly a century. You were like brothers. You had shared memories. Only someone that close had a chance. And he was determined. But until that day, they had you. They controlled you."

"But I did it. I killed them."

"I know, but it wasn't your fault," Sam held. He tried another tack. "How many times, how often, did they put you in that machine and take your memory?"

Bucky glanced back then sat in thought. "I don't know before my first mission. A lot. Then before every mission."

"Why?"

Bucky turned back fully and Alpine emerged halfway so she could reach up and nuzzle his chin. "I am not them. I don't know."

Sam tried again. "I think you do. Why do you think they did it in the beginning and before every mission?" Bucky knew the answer but admitting it would mean admitting he wasn't at fault.

Sam finally relented. "Because they had to erase Bucky Barnes from your mind. Bucky Barnes would have fought them tooth and nail. He hated Hydra. He fought Hydra. They had to get rid of him to fill your mind with what they wanted: a highly trained, innovative, creatively tactical killing machine. Now that you haven't been in their machine for months, your brain is healing from all that damage. And because Steve broke the programming, Bucky Barnes can exist again. He can think and make decisions. He can feel good or bad about things. And because Bucky Barnes was a good man, he feels really terrible about all the horrible things he was made to do."

Bucky looked away again, but Sam could see his eyes were puffy.

"What would you do if someone burst into this room and started reciting the words?"

Bucky turned back sharply, eyes flashing. "I'd rip his tongue from his mouth before he could finish."

Sam smiled. "Graphic but good. Why? If they finished the words, all your pain would go away."

"I will not allow them to enslave me again."

"Free is better?" Sam asked. "Even with all the hurt?"

A tear slipped down Bucky's cheek. But he nodded.

Sam sat back, counting that nod a victory. That was enough pushing for one day. "You are free. When you think of your missions, remember what they had to do to make you complete them. They had to erase you." He stood up. "You'll have a new visitor in a few minutes. He's a friend of mine, also named James. But you can call him Rhodey. And he loves cats."

Bucky stood, too, dislodging the cat. "I don't know what to do with someone else."

Sam smiled. "Talk, or don't talk. Watch a movie, play a board game, play with Alpine. Anything is fine. You'll figure it out."

There was a knock at the door. Sam answered it to find Rhodey just outside. He'd given the man the same suggestions. Sam just smiled and let him in as he went out. If they were going to be with Bucky at all times, they had to expand the team. Besides, meeting new people might be good for Bucky, too.

Tony was torn. He had the scepter, for a few days anyway. But he also had Bucky's arm to deal with. He'd made a promise and he intended to keep it. But the scepter would be gone soon, and Bucky's arm would still be there.

The metal in the staff was alien, an alloy Jarvis couldn't identify all the components of, but whatever. It came from space. Nothing new now in that. The jewel, however, that was something! It glowed as if lit from within, and when Jarvis analyzed it, it had looked, well, almost alive.

Tony threw its display up in the empty space where broken equipment had been cleaned up. Banner looked it over.

"You know what that looks like to me?" Tony asked.

"A computer," Jarvis replied. "I believe I'm deciphering code."

Tony threw up another display, this time orange.

"And this is?"

"Hello, Dr. Banner," Jarvis said.

"Hello," Banner replied.

"Jarvis," Tony reported, "started as just a natural language UI. Now he runs the Iron Legion. He runs more of the business than anyone besides Pepper. Top of the line." Tony moved over the blue display.

"And this is the jewel?" Banner asked. "It's beautiful."

It was similar to Jarvis, but larger and less compact and less uniform. "If you were to guess," Tony asked, "What does it look like it's—"

"Thinking," Banner replied, cutting off the question. "It's, it's not a human mind."

Tony nodded his agreement.

"But it's like neurons firing."

"Down in Strücker's lab," Tony told him, "I saw sophisticated robotics work. The data was gone but I gotta think he was knocking on one particular door."

Banner agreed. "Artificial intelligence."

Tony moved closer. "This could be it, Bruce. The key to creating Ultron."

Banner shook his head, smiling. "Ultron was a fantasy."

"Not anymore." Banner started to walk away but Tony followed countering with what-ifs about keeping the world safe. "I want to apply this to the Ultron program."

"Don't you have an arm to deal with?"

"Barnes will still be here in three days," Tony argued. "Jarvis can't download a data schematic this dense without the scepter here. We have three days. Give me three days."

Banner wasn't convinced. "So you're going for AI and you didn't want to tell the team?"

"We don't have time for a committee debate and 'man was not meant to meddle' arguments. I see a suit of armor around the world."

"Sounds like a cold world, Tony."

"It could be colder," Tony held. "This little, vulnerable, blue world needs Ultron. This could be peace in our time."

Banner sighed but he eventually gave in and they got started. They worked nearly around the clock, only stopping to sleep. They ate in the lab. A niggling voice in the back his head told Tony he should at least go see Bucky, ask him what he liked about his present arm and what he wanted in a new one. But there were only a few hours left until the victory party and they still hadn't worked it out.

"What did we miss?" Tony asked.

"I will continue to try variations in the interface," Jarvis promised. "But you should probably prepare for your guests. I'll notify you if anything develops."

Tony nodded and walked away. He still had a few hours so he went down and knocked on Cap and Bucky's door. No answer. "J, where are Cap and our guest?"

"In the gym, sir."

Wow. Bucky had left the apartment? Tony quickly headed down to the gym. He found both super soldiers running on the treadmill, legs ablur. Their speeds were nearly equal with Bucky slightly slower. His slinged arm could account for that.

Tony cleared his throat loudly. "Ahem."

The pair slowed and came to a stop. "Tony," Steve said in recognition.

"Hi, glad to see this getting a good work out," Tony told them, his eyes on Bucky. "Almost like being outside?"

"But we're not outside," Bucky replied. Figurative thinking was not his forté apparently. "It was good to run."

"Well, I'm glad I could accommodate. I've been busy in the lab but I wanted to ask you about your arm. What would like in a new one?"

"It should be strong like this one." He held up his arm about an inch. "It should protect me, stop bullets or projectiles. Move like an arm."

That pretty much described the arm he'd tried to rip off, though Tony hadn't realized it could stop bullets. Of course, it could. "It could also shoot lasers," Tony offered.

Bucky shook his head. "No lasers. Just an arm." He made a shaky fist with his metal hand and then flexed the fingers as best he could. "Better fingers."

The present ones were rather blunt on the ends. Tony was sure he could improve on that. And with neuro-integration, maybe even some touch sensation. "You got it. We're having a victory party upstairs in a few hours. You two up for it?"

Steve waited for Bucky to shake his head. Of course, it wouldn't be good for him to be seen anyway. "Well, maybe you can pop in after everything's quieted down," Tony suggested. "Cap?"

"I put some time in."

"Righty then. I'll leave you to it. I've got to get ready."

Parties now were very different from those Steve was more familiar with. There were less tables and way less dancing, for starters. But at least Sam had the night off with no classes and others staying with Bucky.

"It sounds like quite a fight," Sam said. "Sorry I couldn't have been there."

"Next time, I'll be sure to call you."

"I'm not actually sorry," Sam replied, chuckling. "Just wanted to sound tough. I'm perfectly happy staying here with my patient. Avenging is your world, and your world is crazy."

Steve laughed. But he understood. He was a lab-created super soldier, built to fight, but it would also be nice for his war days to be over. Still, he couldn't be with the one he wanted to be with, and missions—and Bucky—helped take his mind off Peggy. Fighting the good fight was what he was made for. Nazis, Hydra, Chitauri, whatever, as long as he could know he was on the right side. "It's definitely a little crazy. I mean, I grew up with comic books and radios and newsreels. Television was only just getting started. Now, I talk to a computer, I fight aliens and enhanced people and Norse gods. It's a lot."

Sam grinned. "Speaking of Norse gods, how did that go with Thor yesterday?"

"He said they arm wrestled and that my friend was wasting away down there." Steve chose his words carefully. "My friend thought he was very boisterous and overly cheerful. He quite liked the cat though."

"Everybody loves the cat," Sam agreed. He looked at the door. "Ah, shift change. I have introductions to make. Enjoy the party."

Steve followed his line of sight. Hill met Sam at the door, whispered in his ear then stepped inside.

Steve sighed. He kind of missed the dancing. Even if he'd never been good at it and usually just watched Bucky and his date from one of the tables. Bucky was a fine dancer. He'd tried to teach Steve, but it just didn't take. With Peggy, he'd have made it work. If only.

He noticed Natasha and Banner talking at the bar. She had a coy look to her, and she leaned over the bar to be closer to Banner. Steve smiled and approached as she walked away. "It's nice. You and Romanoff."

Banner backed away. "No, we haven't," he stammered. "That wasn't. She just likes to flirt."

Steve reached over the bar for a bottle. "I've seen her flirt. Up close. This ain't that. Look, take it from the world's leading authority in waiting too long, don't. You both deserve a win." He nodded and left the other man to think about what he'd said.

As the party broke up, Steve lingered, feeling nostalgic. Of all the beautiful women he'd seen tonight, none could hold a candle to Peggy Carter. He missed her and hoped she'd had a good life with someone who loved her. And that she never realized how Hydra had infiltrated the SHIELD she'd help found.

Finally, it was just the core of the Avengers, sitting together, drinks in hand, and trying to get the best of Thor and his inexplicable hammer. Steve felt something when it was his turn, but the hammer still refused to life from the table. Until, that is, Thor lifted and flipped it in the air, and then deemed them all unworthy. And then things got really weird.

Author's Note: Yep, Age of Ultron is happening. Sort of. I'm trying not to do the dialogue exactly as it was, so it will be familiar but not perfectly matching the movie. And we're still only dealing with 4 POVs. So that's going to limit things quite a bit. How will AofU be different with Bucky downstairs, waiting for a new arm?