So I hit a huge bought of writer's block which caused me to go through and redo the outline for this story and all of its chapters. This one alone doubles the size of this sequel story. All the reviews and comments I've gotten in support have kept me motivated while writing. Seriously thank you all. I hope you enjoy.

The crowd behind his back was in an uproar. Their voices all thundering together sheerly from the number of them all. The human government was still attempting to keep them all out of the military base where the funeral was being held. Grunt sits in his seat. Squirming, as he tries to wake up. Shepard was alive, and on the ship with him. This wasn't real. The thousands of voices from outside, behind him disagree. Their chants mingle, and intertwine to become an undecipherable mass in his ears. Still if he listens close he can make out their words, almost as if through the trembles under his feet. Hero! Monster! Villain! Savior! All of them fit her, and completely miss the mark too.

"It's time for us to go up." Garrus whispers, offering Grunt his hand. He's already at his feet, ready to say goodbye. Garrus Vakarian is able to move, is ready to go on, and Grunt can't shake the fog from his head. She's not dead. Shepard didn't die. Not here on Earth. He knows that's where this place is, despite never seeing outside of it. Every instinct in his body, knows.

"You can do this kid." Wrex says encouragingly beside him. Somehow the three of them are in the front row. Not Anderson, who has yet to leave Shepard's casket. Not Hackett who outranks everybody but Wrex.

No it's he, Garrus, Wrex, Tali, Joker, and Liara in the front. That makes no sense to him. Why would it be them? Why does he have to go up first?

Garrus' talons rest easy on Grunt's shoulders. "We don't have to be up there for long," he crouches down to kneel before him. Grunt always thought he would laugh at the sight of a kneeling turian, but there's no humor to be found in this situation. "but we have to say goodbye."

No! He doesn't want to. Shepard's alive. She's awake and on the ship with him. With Orrin. The shaking grows as Grunt finally shakes off Garrus' claw. He stands abruptly. "Let's get this done with." Strong words, but his chest has never felt more likely to collapse in.

"Good on you kid." Wrex's compliment was so sincere, that Grunt nearly cried from how hollow it makes him feel.

Garrus stays by his side, practically guiding him to the coffin. Grunt keeps his blue eyes squarely on the ground. Chanting with his whole soul, denying the truth in front of him. "It's alright." Garrus whispers once they make it to the front. He wraps another arm around Grunt's back to rest a hand on his far shoulder. His cold talons, somehow warming the taller krogan. "We'll all remember who she really was?" But who was she? How could he ever know? Clenching his fist, the tears he had been fighting back finally spill out of his numb eyes.

Garrus pulls him closer, and now he can't rebuild the dam that broke within. His eyes catch a glimpse at Shepard, so still in the still comfort of her grave. Shepard's alive. She's on the ship. No matter how many times he reminds himself, the tears don't stop. Garrus' hold feels so real in the moment.

It doesn't matter what people think of her, Shepard can't be dead.

"I've got you."

With a start, Grunt opens his eyes. They felt exhausted as he stares up at the ceiling of the old antique. Even his arm feels numb as he raises it. As his eyes focus on the outlines of his hand, he finally notices that it's shaking. The realization brings about another as Grunt begins to register that his whole body was in fact shaking. What an awful dream. He wipes away at his eyes, unsurprised by the tears. Pretending that the water on his face was from the tears he just wiped away, Grunt rolls onto his side. The soft light of the kitchen, before his bed on the edge of the second floor causes his shaking to stop. They were indeed on the ship. Which means that she has to be here.

Swerving his head back and forth frantically, Grunt can feel his body ease as he spies her dark red hair. She was still there. Rising from his own bed took the last of his energy. With heavy footsteps, Grunt hobbles over. He has to make sure she's still breathing. So long as her chest rises and falls he can return to his bed, Grunt reasons. He just, he can't fight off that nightmare alone.

Her bed is only a few feet away from his own. While he sleeps on the edge, she set her own bunk against the wall. He liked the light, it felt like home. Shepard couldn't always sleep, and the light served only to keep her body awake even when her mind was exhausted. Orrin took residence on the first floor, against the back wall, below the two of them. She barely needed any sleep as is so the light meant nothing to her. Just like everything else that matters to him and Shepard. Orrin didn't care. She couldn't even begin to understand, because she wasn't there. Yet she claims to know what's best for the two of them. Always chirping on about their health.

Just because she kept Shepard alive, didn't make her the chief authority. Anger eggs on the nervousness swirling in his stomach. It agitates him more. The young krogan stands over the spectre watching impatiently. He bites at his bottom lip as he waits for her to breath. He thinks he spies her chest moving once or twice, but it's hidden well under the blanket as she sleeps soundly on her side. His legs start to ache. After another minute and a half Grunt gives up. He could feel for a pulse, but that would wake her up. No, she needs her sleep. It took hours to convince her to lay down in the first place. With a shake of his head Grunt looks for another option. His hearts begin to beat faster again. She was alive. He was sure of it, but for some reason his body didn't care. It's still just as scared and exhausted as he had been in the dream.

Well if he couldn't sleep, then he could at least keep an eye out. Grunt bends down quietly. Carefully he shifts around, placing his back against the top corner of Shepard's bed. He listens closely, as his eyes watch the window on the other end of the ship. It would be easier for him to see any passing ships if he was actually down there in the pilot's seat, but Orrin would be up soon. If he misses any ships from his seat up here, then she'll catch them.

A snore from behind makes him jump. His hand already reaching for his knife, Grunt stops as soon as his fingers graze the hilt. He breaks out into a smile, as more tears escape him. Shepard, fucking snores. Who knew? Well Garrus probably. Clearly she doesn't sleep the whole time, otherwise he wouldn't have had to worry for minutes about her breathing.

Chuckling softly, he wipes away at his tears, and leans back against the the corner of her bed. It digs into back, but Grunt doesn't care. With a smile his head falls onto the edge of her bed. He lays one arm under it, while keeping his other on his knife's hilt. Just in case. Now that there wasn't a constant terror firing up his fears, Grunt could feel sleep pull away at his conscious again.

Grunt groans as he holds two exposed wires, out of the wall for Shepard. His arms were beginning to go numb. "How much longer do I have to hold these?" With barely any sleep he's not ready for hours of boring engineer talk. He signed up for it, sure, but that was before the nightmares. Not that he could tell her about them. Thankfully Shepard hasn't asked why he was asleep on the corner of her bed this morning. In fact he could nearly forget that it even happened. That was, if it wasn't for the annoying smile on Orrin's face.

Shepard gingerly laughs. "Just wait a little longer." That was steadily becoming her catchphrase. When can he eat? How much longer before we see something interesting? When will we land? How soon can he fire off his weapons? When is she going to finish that story? Her answer is continuously the same. Always!

"Groaning is not going to make this go by faster." He leans his head forward a little bit. It gently bumps against hers. She rolls her eyes but doesn't stop him. Testing the limit, Grunt leans down a little more. Blue eyes staring at the wires intensely. "I can't fix them if you block my vision, buddy."

Irritated, he throws his head back. "This is ridiculous. I'm a warrior! I should be training, or exercising, or firing my weapon!"

With a tsk, Shepard leans in closer to the wires.. With practiced patience she slowly strips the wires down a little more. Taking the problem one at a time. "No more firing guns for fun. We lost power for an hour due to that last misfire."

"It would have been find if Orrin hadn't moved the table."

"She was cowering behind it Grunt. I doubt she moved it on purpose." Furious, green eyes fix on him. Yelling Grunt didn't mind, but Shepard glowering at him was intimidating. Not that he'll ever admit it. "In fact I remember telling you to stop scaring her." With a fake cough he turns away.

Metal creaks precariously as Grunt leans against the wall to his left. Never has he ever cared about the time before. Originally he thought learning how to take care of the ship would be interesting. Surely anything that could decide life or death couldn't be too boring. Now he wants to go back and headbutt himself for ever doubting how entirely boring ship maintenance could be.

"Grunt you were the one who wanted to learn. Now can you please pay attention." Her voice was leveled, and patient. Stern words pull him back to their task at hand.

"I thought this would be more exciting."

"Then that was your first mistake." Her tone is lighthearted as she teases him. With a flick of his nose, she grins. "Engineering can be interesting. You just have to find something about it that you want to learn."

"What do you mean?" His eyes trail after her hands as she places the wire strippers back into their toolkit. Curiously she pulls out the voltage measurer. Hadn't they already cut the power off to this wall? It was only supposed to be temporary, but she hasn't gotten up yet. Did it come back on by itself?

"Engineering is just like any other topic. It's vast, and the known information relating to it is always changing." With a click she watches the measurer's screen. "The sheer size of it all means there's no way for someone to know everything about it. That's why you have electrical engineers, civil engineers, even chemical, or aerospace engineers."

"So?"

She smiles down at the screen, before unclipping it from the green wire. With another soft click Shepard reads the blue wire's results. "So, that means if you don't like working on ships you can always looks towards other subjects within the field. The same goes for any study. Some people are interested in botany that they simply know a lot of facts about flowers, others prefer learning of medicinal plants, or to actually garden. Then there are people who enjoy the fields so much they go into jobs that directly tie to the subject." Unclipping the measurer with a smile, Shepard lets out a sigh of relief. Whatever the result was she was happy with it.

"I thought we turned off power to this wall."

A smirk crosses her face. "We did, however lesson 101 is to always double check. When you're handling electricity you never want to assume the power is off only for it to shock you later." She pulls out a tool that clearly krogan in design. Two edges sprout from the base, stopping just short of coming together like two horns about to complete a circle.

She's still smiling as she rolls the tool around in her palms. With a raise brow she cheekily smiles at him. "Then again it's always possible that engineering isn't for you."

"If we agree that it's not can I go back to cleaning the floors?" That earns him a laugh.

"Let's at least test this out a little bit longer. Besides I'm about to show something born from krogan ingenuity." Whatever indent made this tool, he could care less.

Shepard lays the tool on the edge of her knee before carefully taking the two wires from Grunt with her gloved hands. "Alright now grab that." Picking it up, Grunt feels an immediate overwhelming urge to throw it. Giving in partially he tosses it straight up before catching it in the same hand again. A smile creeps across his face. He goes to throw it again but is stopped by Shepard's voice. "Pay attention."

"I held the wires for two hours."

"It was half an hour at most."

He groans again, making sure this one lasts twice as long as his last. "Why was I holding two wires for half an hour?"

She clicks her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "Because I needed to make sure that those were the correct wires. Then I had to strip them. This ship is the oldest I've ever flown on so I had to be careful around it's old wiring." She uses the end of one of the wires to gesture towards the tool. "Now you're going to want to turn that on."

Looking over the strange bob, Grunt squeezes the sides of it. Nothing happens. Already bored, he randomly presses the base and screen of it. Nothing. Frustrated now, Grunt smacks it.

"It's the button at the base." She instructs considerately.

Bringing it up to his eye level, Grunt finally spies a small yellow button on the bottom of it. Pretending not to care, he casually presses the button. When nothing lights up, and no noise he grows angrier. "It's broken." He announces with a huff.

"It's on. You can tell from the hum it's making." After she points it out, Grunt can indeed hear a soft thrum coming from it.

"That's-"

"Ridiculous? The lack of any lights or brief flashes of a button is to make sure all the power goes to it's one purpose. That thing in your hands is a trobor. It's named after the term for cinders."

"Trobror." He nods along to her words, finally relieved that he knows something.

"Yeah. Apparently because it looks like it turns wires into cinders while reattaching them." With a smirk Shepard offers up the wires. "Personally I think that's a bit poetic."

"Krogans don't do poetry."

"Now that's not entirely true. I've seen what's inside of Tuchunka's ruins. Not to mention we both heard that one krogan spouting off his lyrical sense in order to win back his asari love."

Of course she recalls every random soul she's ever spoken too. "If it's bad poetry then it's not poetry."

"That's not true." Orrin pipes in brazenly. Grunt throws her a look from over his shoulder. So far during their journey the salarian doctor has steadily grown her courage. The more time she spent around a conscious Shepard, the more she's spoken her mind. Of course every other time was just to share a random, unimportant fact. Like now. "Everyone begins somewhere and even the lamest attempt at poetry is still the creation of it. If it's good is not only subjective, but unimportant."

"I suppose that is the heart of a more artistic debate." Shepard grins from over her shoulder.

Orrin's face scrunches up in an ugly way as she tries to smile. "Perhaps we could discuss it once you two are done."

"That sounds lovely, so long as we actually finish the work today."

"What does time matter in space?" Grunt mutters more to himself then to anyone else.

Shepard offers him an apologetic smile. It's not the first time they've completely forgotten he was there. Grunt knows it won't be the last either. "Now what do you think went wrong with the circuity in this wall?"

Grunt stares down at the wires, before looking at the open panel in the wall. Leaning into it a burnt smell fills his nose. "Is it suppose to smell like burning?"

"That's why we had to fix these wires. Typically I would go in and replace the entirety of the burnt out ones, but I don't have the extra wiring needed. So we're circumventing them. Usually we would slap some medi-gel on it and be done." He eyes Shepard, and the wires, waiting for an explanation. "Medi-gel can get rid of the burnt marks, and re-strengthen damaged wires. Really it's an engineer's ace in the hole. Tali never used it much. She preferred more direct fixes. Said they made her feel safer then an easy one."

"That's probably why she spent so much time climbing through the Normandy's vents."

That earns him another chuckle. "That's exactly why."

"Are we sure this is safe?"

"As safe as can be in this old thing." Shepard jokes. His stomach twists. Can't she ever just give him a straightforward answer?

He holds the trobror over the wires, slowly moving it a millimeter at a time to make sure it fully joins the wires. It's painstakingly slow work. "Does it really need me to move so slowly?"

"Absolutely." Short, and straight to the point. Somehow it frustrates him even more when she gives a straightforward answer. Caught up in a race of slugs, Grunt struggles to hold his hand steady.

"You're shaking Grunt."

"No I'm not."

"Grunt." She can take that stern tone and shove it up- "You are."

"I don't shake!"

With a sigh, she runs a hand through her hair. "Grunt you can alternate hands if one of yours is tired."

"Won't that mean I have to start at the beginning again?"

Another soft smile. "Of course not." She looks back at the wires. Grunt slowly lifts his finger off the button. Thirty seconds later the trobror shuts off. It even powers down slowly.

"I hate this fucking thing." He mutters in a huff. Every part of his body grows angrier as he switches his hand and turns this supposed krogan technology back on. Krogans don't move so slow. They fight, and in order to win you have to quickly overwhelm your opponent. Even Wrex doesn't move this slowly! Maybe a salarian actually made this thing. It was such a slow failure that they then tried to pass it off as krogan.

After an eternity he had the tool on the other side of the now conjoined wires. With a swish of his head he looks up at Shepard. She gives a short nod, and he finally stands up. "Yes!" he cheers, throwing his hands up. Finally he has freedom from that ridiculous tool! His legs were cramp, and Grunt had half a mind to go charging through the ship just to get some use out of them again. In fact that sounded like a great idea. Still laughing, Grunt jumps away from the tool kit, and gets ready to tear through the small empty space of the ship.

"Now that that's done, here." Orrin walks over handing each of them a small makeshift plate from round oval plastic they had found in a random closet of the ship. Green gruel fills the majority of the plate. Each one has exactly four orange slices. With an indifference that's borders on stupid and brave, Orrin shoves the plate into his hands. Astonish, Grunt takes it. He blinks twice as realization dawns on him. She had effectively stopped him in his tracks.

"Come on Grunt, don't just stand there. It's time to eat!" Shepard calls out cheerfully, before looking down at her plate. She winces, as she pokes at the food. With a roll of his eyes Grunt sits down again. Orrin places herself right next to Shepard, clearly more comfortable now that someone was paying any sort of attention to her.

He takes his space across from them, once again back on the ground in front of those damn wires. Shepard sits on top of the second and third highest ladder step. Orrin sits on the third one next to Shepard's feet. Bored already, Grunt looks around the ship. The kitchen was sparkling despite Orrin having just finished their meals. Of course, everything was freakishly clean on this ship. Now that Shepard was up and moving again, Orrin had some free time. Instead of spending it studying, or asking questions like most salarians, she was always waiting in Shepard's wings. Once the spectre was done with a project, she would get up, drink water, and smudge some grease across her face as she wiped away sweat. The moment she steps away, then Orrin would sweep in, quick to clean the mess left behind. Grunt couldn't tell if she was impatient, a neat freak, or just really eager to make herself useful.

"So what did you think about your first lesson with the trobror?"

"Are you sure it was made by krogans?"

"According to krogan engineers, yes."

"It's too slow."

"Not everyone rushes into things Grunt. When it comes to fixing them, sometimes slow is steadiest." She slowly spins bites into an orange slice.

He scoffs. "Did a krogan tell you that?"

"Nope. I took an old adage and changed it up a bit."

"What's the adage?"

"Ever heard the saying, slow and steady wins the race?"

"No."

"I'm not surprised. Joker was more like the rabbit in that tale." Her smile turns sour as her lips pull close.

Orrin's eyes go wide. She frantically looks back and forth. Her eyes searching for some way to solve a problem that doesn't exist. Finally she asks, "Who is that?"

"Ah," Surpise colors her tone. Had she already forgotten they had a stranger here? "he was our pilot. He made most of the references to old human sayings back on the Normandy."

"He wasn't very funny."

"Says the krogan who spit out his milk through his nose while trying not to laugh."

"I did that too see if I could."

"Of course."

"Shepard, how did you learn engineering?"

"Oh I took classes once I joined the army."

"You didn't take any lessons before then?"

"Not really. I was trained a little back when Alex was learning first-aid basics, but they weren't real lessons. It was more spur of the moment, hope you don't lose all your fingers stuff."

There was that name again. She'd mention this Alex when she had brought up the waterfall before. Did they ever make it? Could he take her back to that place? Did she even remember where it was? Who were they? Grunt stares down at his food, he probably shouldn't ask. "What was the first thing you built?"

"Well back before I was a soldier, I was an orphan on Earth."

"I know. They called you a zero that became a hero back on the Earth extranet pages."

"I had completely forgotten about that movie."

"What movie?"

"I need to show you an old animated movie called Hercules. Remind me to look out for it next time we find a store selling digital copies, or maybe physical ones. Those may be needed now." Nothing of the extrenet seemingly exists anymore.

"Anyways, since we didn't have cash as kids, I had to fix up a lot of the stuff we came across. I guess the first thing I fixed was an old earring for Alex. The back had come up, so I tied string in it's place that way it would stay in. Not a pretty fix, but they could wear it."

"Earrings don't have wires."

"True, but you asked about my first thing. Not about what got me in trouble."

"Trouble?"

"Well I used to run with the red suns. A local gang on Earth, as far as I'm aware it has no ties with the blue suns. They had seen me around. Enough at least to know the name I was going by, back then."

"Was it different from yours now?" Grunt could hardly believe it. Had there been a time in Shepard's life when she wasn't, well, Shepard?

"A tad."

"What was it?"

"I was still Shepard, people just didn't call me that. They called me by my old first name."

"What was that?"

"It doesn't matter buddy. I'm Shepard now. Always have been. Besides weren't we talking about engineering?"

"One day Alex's toy watch broke. I had to take the back off, and fix the battery holder in it. It took a bit of fiddling to figure out that it was the battery holder out of place, but messing around with it was fun. That led to me discovering my interest in engineering. I started taking everything apart and attempting to put it back together again. Once I even set up a scenario where Alex would accidentally break a game of theirs so I could finally have an opportunity to tinker with it." Shepard sighs. Her good mood withers away at the memory. "I was such an ass back then."

"Who's Alex?"

Her eyes dilate as her body goes rigid. Her thumb digs into the plate in her hands. "Did you remember to make sure the trobror didn't leave the wires sparking?"

No response. Grunt can be stubborn too. Hanging her head, Shepard's eyes go wide and slowly she lets out a shaky breath. Accepting the fact that avoiding the answers, won't keep his curiosity at bay. Come on, break Shepard. What will it take for him to learn the truth?

"Alex was a dear friend of mine. In fact we were siblings in all ways but one."

"Blood?"

A short snort escapes her. "How did you know?"

"None of the news on you ever mentioned them."

She nods slowly. "Yeah." The nodding of her head steadily picks up pace. Eventually she pushes herself up. "Yeah they wouldn't." Slowly she sets her half-eaten plate aside. A clicking sound rings out as the plate shakes around in her hand, on the floor.

Orrin takes the plate from Shepard who looks to be in a fog. Her gaze, glazes over the ship. At first she walks over to the kitchen. She stops when her eyes catch on her empty hands. Without a word, she stalwartly strolls back towards the front of the ship. Like an un-oiled machine, Shepard lets out a groan as she drops into a squat in front of the ship's navigation system. Her languid arms struggle to pull the panel away. Grunt's eye catches on Orrin pointing at something from his peripheral vision.

The salarian was kindly pointing at the wiring still hanging out of the wall, between them. She's never been one to leave a task unfinished. Somehow he knows there's no way she'll return to the wires now. "Shepard the wiring is still hanging out."

"Leave it be. I just realized that this is more important."

"Liar."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Urdnot Grunt, I draw the line at you calling me out of my name and then lying about it. If you have something to say, say it."

"You're a liar. You're lying."

"What makes you think that?"

"You don't like talking about Alex."

"If you can tell that then why aren't you dropping it?"

"Nevermind." He opens his mouth only to snap it shut. There's no way he could get through to her. He's not Wrex, or Garrus. He's not clever Tali, or the soothing Liara, Grunt is just the himself. So if Shepard didn't want to talk to him she wouldn't. Bitterly he bites at the inside of his cheeks. "Fine."

He plops down into the pilot's chair. Shepard immediately heads for the opposite end of the ship. She climbs up the ladder. Throwing her stomach over the edge of the floor she careens down. For a second his heart skips. He expects her to fall like her hair. Instead she hooks her feet around the legs of his bed, and hangs between the two floors. Shepard starts to unscrew the back wall's first floor light.

Fuck her. There she goes scaring him again. He's a krogan! Fear was supposed to be for the weak. Shepard's never frighten. Neither is Wrex. Why can't he be more like them? He kicks the panels of the front console. Two of it's screws fall out, as the panel dents in on itself.

He spins the chair back around. Shepard didn't even look up at the sound. It hadn't earned even a glance from her or Orrin. Instead the two were talking! Orrin was crouched down, looking up at Shepard as her hands twist around the blinking light fixture.

Of course those two were talking. Shepard trusts everyone else more then him. Grunt picks up a random loose screw, and throws it against the wall. A unsatisfying, small plink rings out from the wall. He goes to grab the screw again, preparing to throw it again. He was the one who found her with Wrex. Plink! Grunt had been there guarding her the entire time she was asleep. Plink! She knew him before she ever knew Orrin! Plink! At least he didn't stay behind! Plink. No, he's here with her, drifting aimlessly through space looking for a bunch of people who may be dead! Plink. They don't even know if Garrus and the others can be found. Ka-clink.

That fucking screw. Where did it go? Squatting down he leans forward to look under the beds. Nothing. Where has it gone? Dragging his hands across the ground, his stubby fingers stretch out as far as possible. Grime and dust collect under his digits, as a strangely sticky substance occasionally pulls specks off. Maybe Orrin wasn't as obsessed with cleaning as he had thought. Disgusted, he tears his hand out from under the bed.

Fine if it doesn't want to be found then fuck it. Why should he care? If Shepard doesn't trust him, then she doesn't trust him. He can't change that so he might as well forget it. Just like that screw will be forgotten and forever left to gather dust in some random part of the ship. He pulls his knees up, and leans against her bed again.

All this hurt, it makes no sense to him. He hasn't even been wounded but there's pain in his chest. In the memories there's no krogan who experience this. Okeer must have deemed it not important, but Grunt knows from his time on the Normandy that it's normal. It's sadness, that same pain he's been stuck getting comfortable with for almost a year now. Damn it! The pain was supposed to go away when Shepard woke up. Things were supposed to be all better now.

What does he even want? At first it was for Shepard to wake up. Well she had, and his chest still hurts. Could anything make this better? Even if she sat down and told him everything, would the pain in his hearts disappear? Had he lingered on the ache for so long that it won't ever go away. Maybe it couldn't.

He pushes his back as deep into the pilot's chair as it could go. It snugly holds his body steady. Refusing to look at the pair ever again, Grunt spins back towards the front windows.

Only the emptyness of space greets his gaze. Thousands of stars twinking in understanding anger. They shine and seethe over their brethern that the reapers had harnessed and destroyed. Just like the krogan back on Tuchunka. Maybe he should have stayed there?

So many krogan were excited now that the genphage was cured. Many had plans to fix their home. A home Grunt feels nothing for. As much as he respects Wrex he has nothing in common with the man. Or any of the other krogans, aside from the name Urdnot, and a species that thousands will be born into soon. There's a disconnect there as vast as the space between two stars. Still they all shine on together, connected through being. The closest he ever felt connected to anything was back on the Normandy. He had begun feeling some sort of connection back with his company before their final fight. Those feelings have never sparked with Tuchunka before. Could it ever become home?

Space is vast and silent in response to his questions, as Grunt slowly drifts off to sleep.

When he wakes up, Grunt has a plan. He'll ignore Shepard. Make her realize that she's not the only one who can keep things to herself. Shepard was already in the kitchen area. He makes sure to walk right past her, snatch his plate of food, and walk off. Carrying his portions back towards the front of the ship he eats as loudly as possible.

From the corner of his eyes he can see, her wince at the crunching. Good. The krogan makes sure he does every tasks as loudly as possible. He bangs the dishes as he cleans them. While sweeping he makes sure to smack every wall with the ends of his broom. Shepard winced a couple of times. Once she even shot him a glare. Grunt continued on with a satisfied grin.

Finally when he had nothing left too do, Grunt sits at the front of the ship and hum.

Shepard smacks her head against her wall. Orrin frantically looks over her as she lifts it back up. "Grunt stop it."

With a smirk he hums louder. Victory fills him with pride.

"Grunt cut it out."

He continues humming. The broken notes come out as loud as Grunt could hum them. A cacophony of sounds that stop the moment Shepard's mouth closes.

"Grunt."

Purposely ignoring her, he starts to hum faster. The notes don't even come close to forming a song of any sorts.

"That's enough!"

"Oh so the great commander Shepard can't handle a little bit of noise."

"The only thing little about you is your magnanitmity!"

"I don't even know what that means!"

"You're petty!"

"Warriors aren't petty!"

"Oh yes they are, and you're the pettiest! What? I don't tell you all my secrets so you're set on driving my insane!"

"We're in the middle of space! Your kind don't need a reason to lose your minds out here!"

They glare at each other. Neither backing down even as their exchange of insults pause.

Grunt leans down closer. Daring Shepard to do anything at all, as he gets in her face. He stays there, saying nothing, daring her to break the silence first. She wanted to ignore him until she couldn't. He dares her to ignore a giant krogan in her face.

"Just because you throw a fit, doesn't make me feel anymore confident to confide in you. If anything it just proves that you're not mature enough."

That stings. He pulls back from the shock of his pain. As soon as he notices the way her face gives way to concern as his face pulls away, freezes him. "And how am I supposed to learn, eh Shepard? Where's all your big talk of teaching me now?" Biting his teeth, and pushing his weight back onto his feet, Grunt leans in closer to Shepard, his face resting at the end of her nose. Definitely his mind races, searching for anything to make her hurt. She needed to feel this ache. Not just feel it, but sit in it for days to come. So that she could finally understand how it feels. "You're a shitty teacher. You keep talking a big game, but you're the one who has us out here chasing ghosts! You don't want to talk to me, fine. But we're never going to find the Normandy." He closes his eyes and digs his nails into his hand.

Slowly he delivers the final blow with open eyes watching for every bit of her reaction."Not everyone can survive like the great Commander Shepard." He practically spits out her name, before pulling away. His shoulders pull back down as he stops leaning over her. "I can't believe I was scared of you dying."

Shepard's eyes shifts between wide, to narrow, and all the ranges inbetween. Anger hits her first, as she balls her fists. Then hurt as she opens her hands and physically takes a step back. Slowly she shudders a sigh and lowers her head. "You and me both, kid." Heart twisting inside of his chest, Grunt pouts. His lips fall silently, motivated solely by grief. He hadn't meant it.

Shepard being dead was his worse nightmare. Why? Just why had he said it? Why did she give up and agree? That was supposed to be his victory! While Shepard stumbles away, keep her back towards him, Grunt feels as if he had just suffered a grand defeat.

Shepard avoids him for two days after that. Of course she was the only one avoiding someone. Krogans don't run away. It was just because of her, that Grunt's eyes never seem to stay on her for more then a second. She was just moving too quickly. It's fine. He has nothing to say to her anyways.

On the third day, he thinks he might have words. Grunt attempts to say her name a couple of times. Each chance he takes the words die in his about after 'sh'.

When the fourth day begins he doesn't even bother getting out of bed. She was already up and about, keeping herself busy. Orrin silently trailing after her. The doc was so worried about her paitent that it leaves Grunt feeling as if he's utterly alone on this ship.

He sits up in his bed. Releasing a groan he rubs at his eyes. Throwing his legs over the side of his bed, Grunt roughly grips the side of his bed. Shepard was staring at the wall by the ladder. She was crouched down, with the un-finished wires dangling limply under her gaze.

Grunt throws his gaze in the opposite direction. She's just sick of the electrical problems. It's good that it will finally be fixed. Shepard never needed him anyways.

"Grunt?" Grunt shakes his head. Why would she speak to him now after four days of silence? Did she get her fight back. No. He doesn't want to go down that road again.

He lays back down in his bed. She can just fix it alone.

"Grunt, please."

He's never been one to turn his back on a fight. Against his better judgement Grunt gets back up. He jumps off the second floor, ignoring the ladder altogether. She smirks. He stares at the wires.

"You have more of a knack for this then you think. Honestly you probably could have finished this fix by yourself."

"I didn't want too." She could have done the same.

"Do you want to fix it now?"

"By myself?"

"No." She offers him the wire stripper he had been using yesterday.

Hesitantly Grunt takes the tool. "It's not hard," he mutters as he bends down to look at the wires again.

"No, it's not." She agrees leaning over from the other side to watch.

This time it's easier to hold the wires steady. His hands don't shake as he works. Shepard rubs her hands in little circles on his back as she guides him. The tension remains. Her smile is pulled a little to taunt. His heart still feels unsettled. However their fight was done. That eases his mind the barest amount.

It's a cough that interupts the nervous peace.

"Alex died when we were kids. It's difficult to talk about them." She winces as if it's a burden to look at him. Grunt bites the bottom of his lip, unsure of what to say. Shepard's green eyes fall away from his face. "I know that in the opinion of most krogans, if someone dies then it means they weren't strong enough."

The weak die and the strong survive. Even the humans have sayings acknowledging that truth. Okeer's knowledge is seared into his being. Actively rejecting it, Grunt forces out his shortest of answers. "You survived."

"That way of thinking, those words, they're part of the reason why I don't like to talk about Alex." Shepard crosses her arms, and straightens up. She's never agreed with the sentiment out loud before so he shouldn't feel so shocked to hear her stand against it. Yet he had assumed, because she got along with Wrex and himself so easily that her own beliefs must have been similar to the krogans'. Then again did Wrex even see the world that way? Okeer did. It's a belief evident across all the memories he implanted. Even he succumbed to death because he knew Grunt was stronger then himself. Why would he have done that if it wasn't a clear truth that the weak die for the strong?

"But you survived and their death motivated you. You were stronger then them, and then you continued to get stronger."

"Grunt, people aren't weak just because they died. They also don't die because they're weak. They die because everyone does." She closes her eyes, and wraps her arms around her waist. "Grunt did you think me week when I was dying?"

Guilt wracks through Grunt's chest. He almost spats out no, but could he really deny it? All those months of fear, and anger. The pain was unbearable. He still wakes up from dreams where Shepard was actually dead. Even now Grunt can picture standing at her wake hearing people call her a hero, and villain as she's taken away. By the time his eyes open he's convinced that this time with her on the ship is the true dream. Until she starts to blabber on about some new fix they need to do. He doesn't know enough about ship maintenance for his mind to conjure up the terms. Not yet.

"But it's only part." Her new addition does nothing to assuage the ache. Why couldn't he just say no? Did he, did he really think her weak? He can remember shouting at least once, how Shepard wouldn't die because she's not weak. Still he suffers from nightmares of her death. Does that mean he regards her as weak? Is she, is his krantt weak?

Unnerved by the questions ringing in his head Grunt chooses to ignore them. Her lips move and he jumps at the chance given. "What's the other part?"

"It's not just one or two things. There's a myriad."

"Like what?"

"I haven't told anyone about Alex, ever. More then that we were kids when they died. It was also the day I made my first kill." Shepard runs a hand through her rarely untidy hair. Fingers catch under thick strands, tangling in them. "There's a lot of emotions. Sometimes it's easier to just avoid talking about it all." She smirks. "Congrats you now know something that not even my oldest friend knows."

And he's left with a dozen more questions. "Who's your oldest friend?"

"Eh, good question. If you had asked me three years ago I might've said Kaidan, but we had that falling out and weren't well anything for a while." Shepard tilts her head back. Her eyes narrow, as the cogs in her head turn. "Considering that, it's probably Joker. I've known him for as long as I've known Kaidan and we've never had a big falling out." She smiles warmly. "It's funny the things I've realized while asleep, and some after waking up."

"What did you realize?"

"This is the longest I've ever gone without having Joker around. Not counting my death that is." With a sigh she shakes her heads. Tangled hair fall to cover her eyes. They fail to hide the pain that flashes through them. "I can't remember the last time I was anywhere without that ship." Shepard always had an air of command around her. It was one of the many things that had earned her, his respect. She could walk into any situation, jump into any combat, and immediately asses then lead her team. Those were skills he tried to imitate for his own company. It wasn't the same, and in the end he had lost everyone.

She lost him everyone and pulled him away from the rest. All because he was a part of her team, and once you've been on the Normandy crew Shepard will always choose you. Ever since the hospital he's wondered why that is. Why would she put her crew before others? He holds no doubt that if she had to save a civilian, or Grunt that she would choose him. It's a fact that fills his hearts with bitterness though he has no idea why. Was she a hypocrite? Was he, because in the end he appreciates the fact that she puts him first? It angers and comforts him. Why?

Pushing aside the upsetting question Grunt focuses on Shepard. For the first time since they started fighting he takes all of her in. She's thin now. Sickly thin. If it wasn't for the long sleeve jacket she wears over that black tank top, Grunt was sure he would be able to see a faint outline of her ribs. Orrin insists that it's natural for a comatose human to lose weight, but the amount itself concerns him greatly. She also barely eats now even when she's awake. Despite the lack of food, she hasn't seen too much loss in terms of strength. At least physical strength. Now he's starting to realize that's not the only kind she needs.

If she came from a place where everyone was constantly in danger then there are two ways to really react to that. At least two ways he's seen krogan react to it. They either cling to those around them, hoping to be made strong by their pack, or they isolate themselves refusing to trust others at all. From his old stories Wrex had an isolationist streak in him, but only after being betrayed. Even after returning to Tuchunka he had trusted his blood brother with little reason too. Though not with any details that were a priority. Then he died giving Wrex a freedom he lacked before. Having one less problem.

With Shepard it's slowly dawning on him just how much she took the other route. despite being betrayed by the Alliance she still craved to have people around her. She doesn't seem to miss the army at all, so maybe she never trusted her people's military. Maybe it's just individuals she's willing to let close. A group of people so small they could all fit on a ship. One she was in charge of, and took great care of protecting. She was always there. For every problem with the ship or it's crew, Shepard would be found taking a shot at it. Sometimes literally when it came to Jack's or his issues. Is that why the Normandy felt so much like an clan on it's own?

The bitterness begins to subside as he starts to understand. Shepard craves the security of consistency. She needs to have someone she can trust. People she could turn too, even if it's just someone to laugh with instead of confiding in. He looks back at her sullen face. The pain in her eyes attempting to hide by the angry expression on her face. Has she always guarded her hurt that way? Is that a trait they share? Could he still be one of her crew after the fight they just had? Grunt leans forward, resting his arms over his knees. Memories of moments from the Normandy flicker through his mind. Her holding the gun to him, him choking her, the way he thrashed at her before the ritual, the confident smile every time someone else would try to bribe him away from her crew, and finally her holding his shoulder at the hospital. 'I was always going to choose you Grunt,' her words still echoing through his head.

It's his turn for a peace offering. Timidly he lifts his left arm and flips it over. Avoiding her eyes, he stares at his upturned hand outstretching it towards her. "You still have me."

When her hand takes his, he finally looks back up at her. Shepard's smile grows and Grunt can see her eyes light up. "That's right. I do still have you buddy."

For the first time since he's started thinking too much, Grunt realizes that he now understands Shepard. He had always been aware of her will to live. He knew her skills were second to none. Confusion leads to him squeezing her hand. She returns the gesture, still smiling even as she looks back down at the fixed wires.

This was a different kind of recognition, and he has no idea how he feels about it. Emotions whirl within him like a tornado tearing it's way up and down, all throughout his body. He now knows a little more about Shepard. Yet he has no idea how to feel about all of it. Is that normal? Is it normal for krogans, or humans? For one cowardly moment, he glances over to Orrin and considers asking them. Thankfully his krogan instincts kick in just in time for him to banish the thought.

He tears his hand free from Shepard's. From her expression he can tell she was expecting it. How was she able to guess what he would do so accurately? How could she know him so well, while he knows so little, and when he learns it only leaves him more confused.

Unwilling to entertain the growing number of questions in his head, Grunt walks past Shepard, and climbs into bed. Before he could shut off his brain to rest Shepard calls out, "Thank you Grunt."

Automatically he calls out, "Of course Shepard." Shutting his eyes, he refuses to think about why her name felt so awkward to say. Somehow battlemaster doesn't feel right either.

That's stupid.

Every single one of you keeps me motivated for this story. You all have helped pushed me to try and make this fanfic the best it could be. Thank you.