CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

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We're pulling into the car park at St Thomas' when Jax's stomach rumbles against my hand causing me to laugh. "Lunch first?" I ask as he backs the bike carefully into a car park.

He nods "I'm starving. Who would have thought talking used so much energy."

I giggle and shrug "Who knew."

We head to the cafeteria on the top floor of the hospital, surprisingly the food isn't that bad, well the sandwiches I picked aren't that bad. Someone a couple of tables over is poking rather weakly at something that could be a stew if it didn't look like it was just heated dog food. I grimace at it and Jax twists his head, his face showing the same level of revulsion as I feel.

"I wouldn't feed that to Doj, let alone a human." I mutter, picking up the chicken salad sandwich in front of me and taking a bite.

Jax chuckles "I'm pretty sure your dog eats better than some people."

I nod "Probably."

We finish our lunch quickly, both of us in a hurry to get to Abel having not seen him for the past two days. Heading towards the elevator Jax watches me for a minute before I look at him and raise an eyebrow "What?"

He shakes his head "Nothin'."

I laugh "Bullshit, you had that 'I'm thinking something your either gonna really love or really hate' look on your face."

Jax shrugs "What I was thinking is I wonder if you've always gotten everything you want."

I stop dead in my tracks 10 feet from the elevator. It takes another couple of steps before Jax realises I'm no longer beside him, he turns and looks at me, reading the incredulous expression on my face. "What?"

I shake my head "Did you seriously mean that?"

Jax thinks over what he said and his whole expression shifts "Fuck Darlin' I didn't mean for that to sound like it did. What I meant is that you've set your mind on several things since you got back and each of them has happened."

I shrug "When you want something and its only money that stands in the way then yes I can make those things happen easily. But, no, I haven't always gotten what I wanted. If I did then I wouldn't have left Charming when I did, you would never have married Wendy, Tara would never have come back and Abel would be my son."

Jax takes a couple of steps towards me, stopping just out of arms reach "Sarah, Abel is your son. In every way that matters. Wendy may have given him life, but she also tried to take it away. I haven't seen you do anything that makes me question your actions. Tara was here, yes I was stupid and fell into her lies, but she's gone now and I don't give a fuck if she comes back. You are who I want, you are the person who will raise our son, you are the one that I need next to me through all the bullshit."

I cross the small distance between Jax and I and watch as he lifts his hands and rests them on either side of my face, forcing me to look at him, locking my eyes onto his he exhales softly before speaking "I love you. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I'm the easiest person to live with; you know that Club shit always gets in the way. You already know the deal with Gemma and her overbearing influence in everything she goes near. But for some reason, and I have no idea what it is, you've decided that regardless of all that shit you can live with me, love me."

I smile at him, still slightly hurt that he was so careless in his wording "I know you're not easy to live with. I know Gemma is overly involved in everything to do with you, and the Club. I know that the Sons will always have one of the highest priorities in your life. But I've loved you for a very long time Jackson Teller. Its just; things may seem to come easy to me, and yes some do, but the things that come easily are because I've suffered so much in my life I can throw money at problems and make them vanish."

Jax nods, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and walking with me to the elevator where he jabs his finger into the down button. "Would you have thrown money at Tara to get her to leave?" He muses quietly while we wait for the metal box to arrive.

"If I thought you were happy, no way. If I thought you were miserable and that you, Abel or someone else I love was going to end up hurt or suffering in the end then I would have seen if Patrick could pull some strings with the people he knows and miraculously have a position open in Antarctica for her." I answer as the doors slide open.

The elevator ride is silent as we coast down the floors to the level that houses the neonatal unit. Jax is still fairly quiet while we wave hello to the nurses, several of them still give Jax a very welcoming smile and subtle invitations to spend time with them out of the hospital follow us down the corridor. It's not till we're safely closed in Abel's room that Jax's eyes clear and he watches while Anne efficiently removes Abel from the incubator and carries the tiny baby towards him.

All thoughts of whatever we'd been talking about vanish as I watch the obvious adoration and love on Jax's face while he talks to his son. The words soft murmurs that I can't completely hear from where I'm standing chatting with Anne.

"Are the nurses still throwing themselves at your man?" She asks, shocking me.

I wait a second, staring into her bright green eyes "Yeah, but it's nothing I can't handle. Any over step the line between professional and home-wrecker and they'll have me to deal with, then Gem."

Anne laughs "I'll casually remind them of that tomorrow when Grandma comes in. Maybe if you and her came in at the same time it'd be good. Leave Jax doing whatever it is he does during the day." Anne tries to make herself sound oblivious to the knowledge the entire town has about the Sons and their business, it almost works, but the ever so slight knowing tone in her voice gives her away.

"I'll talk to Gem about that tonight, I know that we've got a trip to Fresno tomorrow that can't be put off but maybe her and I can come in in the morning."

Anne nods "And where have you been the last few days?"

"LA. We had to pick up something I brought." I sigh "I missed the wee man, was he good?"

Anne grins widely "He's perfect; we're still looking Friday at permanent removal from the incubator. He'll stay here for another 3 weeks or so according to Dr Namid but he should be good to go home in the middle of July."

I only just manage to contain the happy dance that I want to do; Jax catches my eye and laughs at the barely restrained joy shining on my face. I poke my tongue out at him and he raises an eyebrow "What's got you so happy?"

"Were you not listening?" Jax shakes his head "Your boy's going to be coming home mid-July."

Jax shakes his head again "Our boy."

"Okay, our boy's coming home in mid-July." I smile at Jax, in the back of my mind I realise we haven't worked out what's happening with houses yet. Jax still hasn't talked to Juice, it got forgotten about with Al and her compulsive over-packing for the LA trip, but shove that conversation to the side, it can happen another day.

Anne quietly exits the room, returning several minutes later with a warmed bottle for Abel, she passes it to me and leaves the room again, clicking the door closed behind her. I cross the room and perch on the arm of Jax's chair, handing him the bottle and smile as he feeds Abel, helping him through the burping we spend over an hour quietly in the room, not saying much and just absorbing the peace that seems to radiate from the tiny little miracle nestled in Jax's arms.