I am so so sorry for the long delay. I just had one thing after another and so many exams and no free time. It's a long chapter and I hope you all enjoy it. Thank you to everyone who reads and reviews.

Queen24824: Sorry you had to wait so long! I hope you enjoy it! Thank you so much for reviewing!

Guest: I am glad you liked the flashback! I try to make them purposeful and emotionally connect to the story so I am glad you were able to feel the emotions of the characters. That is always my goal. I definitely agree that the lack of trust and the disagreement among the leaders on this island causes a lot of chaos and problems. It makes the whole situation harder and is one of the reasons "Henry's" plan worked. I do think Sam is a good mediator, but it can be hard when there are a lot of stubborn personalities. I do understand where most of the characters are coming from and I try to understand where Locke is coming from even if I hate it. He's just a little crazy in my opinion. I hope you continue to like the Sam/Sawyer scenes, they will probably be tense for a while but I think you'll like them. Thank you so much for reviewing, and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

AsukaHyuga: Sam is definitely going to start feeling the effects of being on the island more as things heat up, it's a hard place to be. Sam and Sawyer have a while to go before she will forgive him, but I think you'll appreciate the journey. But them fighting doesn't mean there won't be any Sam/Sawyer scenes. Thanks so much for always reading and reviewing, I am sorry for the long wait and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

I wake up to Locke crouching over me and shaking me awake. The first thing I hear is a baby wailing, and then Locke quietly whispering my name.

I rub my eyes and force myself to sit up. "What's wrong? Is Aaron okay?"

"The baby should be fine," Locke says calmly. "But Claire is freaking out. She wants to go get Jack from the hatch."

I sit up straighter. "She can't do that! Just-" I pause and take a breath. "l can look at Aaron. Stay with Clair. Just give me one minute."

Locke shakes his head. "She is pretty insistent I get Jack, but can you stay with her while I get him? And try to calm her down if you can, she's really upset."

"Of course, go get Jack. I'll be with Claire in just a minute."

Locke nods. "Okay, thank you, Samantha."

"I care about Claire," I respond. "And we need to work as a team, I meant what I said last night. Go get Jack, I'll see you in a bit."

Once Locke leaves, I put on a bra, change my shirt, and quickly run a brush through my hair. I know I would still look like a wreck if I looked in a mirror, but I feel like enough of a functional human to see Claire, so I leave the tent.

Aaron is screaming bloody murder, but Claire seems more upset than he is. She is rocking him and pacing in front of her tent in short lines.

"Sam, oh thank God. I told Locke to get Jack, but maybe you could look at Aaron too. He's never like this. Something's wrong."

"Of course, I will, here let's sit down and let me see him."

Claire doesn't stop pacing. "He just- he has this rash and Locke doesn't think it is anything, but I know something is wrong. I'm his mother, he's sick. Aaron always sleeps through the night. This isn't like him, and he's hot and-"

"Claire," I cut her off and put my hands on her shoulders to stop her movement. "You're rambling, okay? Can you take a breath for me?"

Claire shakes her head. "Sam, Aaron's sick! I'm not going to calm down, okay?"

"I'm not asking you to calm down. Your baby is sick, if you were calm I would be worried about you. But I do need you to take a breath so that you can explain what's happening a little more clearly. Especially when Jack gets here, okay?"

Claire nods feebly and I watch as she slowly settles herself with a deep breath.

I smile. "Alright, good, now let's give me Aaron so I can look at him and sit down."

"I don't want to let go of him yet."

"That's fine. How about you just sit down and I can examine him while you hold him? Jack might have to hold him, but we can wait for now."

Claire nods again, and we sit down. She never lets go of Aaron, but now that she is sitting still I am able to see that he does have a rash. His skin is hot, but it doesn't look like anything atypical for an infant. I am about to tell Claire this when Kate walks up with a bottle of water.

"Here," she says, handing the bottle to Claire. "Are you feeling any better?"

Claire shakes her head. "Rousseau is right. There is something wrong with him."

"Rousseau?" I question. "When was she here?"

Jack comes up before Claire can answer my question, but Kate pulls me aside while Jack examines Aaron.

"Rousseau was here right before you came out, I think. I left Claire alone for a second,she wanted some water and she came up yelling at Claire. Telling her Aaron is infected or something. I tried to stop her but it was too late, it really messed Claire up. She was a lot more panicked after that. I went to get her some water and I guess that's when you came up. Locke got you?"

I nod. "But Rousseau is crazy, I mean she kidnapped Aaron once. Why does Claire believe her?"

"She's a new mom and her baby's sick. Her reasoning isn't always going to make sense."

"We should tell Jack," I say.

"That was my plan, but first I need to ask you something. What's going on with the hatch? Jack's been weird about it lately, and he won't tell me anything. You know, don't you?"

"Is now the best moment for this?" I snap. "I only know because I was there, but it's not my story to tell. Ask Jack about it. He'll tell you if he's ready."

"I'm trying to look out for him, Sam! He's stubborn, you know that."

"Don't I ever," I mutter. "Well, ask him now then, if you're so desperate. But he needs to know about Rosseau."

I turn to walk to Jack, but Kate beats me to it. "Rosseau was here," she tells him.

Jack turns to Claire. "What did she say to you?" he asks.

"She said she knew he was sick, okay, that he's infected," Claire snaps.

"Claire, there is no infection," Jack tells her impatiently over the sound of Aaron's cries. "We've been on this island for two months, and no one's gotten sick. Rousseau is crazy. We're going to let the fever just run its course, it's going to be fine. Okay, trust me." Jack takes one more look at Aaron. "I've got to get back to the hatch; but, I'll come back in a few hours and check on him again, okay? Okay?"

Claire nods weakly. "Yeah," she affirms. Kate stays with Clarie and I follow Jack as he walks.

"Can you take care of this?" Jack asks me. The dark bags under his eyes and stress lines define his face.

"Yeah, I probably would have told her the same thing you did, but Locke said she insisted on having you."

"Yeah, well, Aaron should be fine. Someone just needs to keep an eye on him until the fever breaks."

"I know, Jack. Stop for a second." We stop in the dark of the jungle, near the beginning of the path to the hatch. "This isn't maintainable. Me, Sayid, Locke, and you can't be the only ones on hatch duty. Especially someone always has something they need you for. We need to tell more people."

"Who, Sam, who? This can't just be public information."

"What about Kate? She's already suspicious, and she's kept secrets before."

Jack sighs and turns away.

"I'm serious! You've trusted her with big things in the past. There's a reason for that. Talk to her." When Jack remains silent, I exhale quietly before speaking again. "Just talk to her, Jack. I'm tired of playing the middle-man and we need more help with this."

By the time it is morning, I feel like I'm the one who is going to become over-exhausted. My sleep is restless and broken as Kate and I took turns sleeping in an old plane chair next to Claire and Aaron. Even when it is my turn to sleep, the crying keeps me up. But I know Claire didn't get a minute of sleep, so when the sun is up, I just splash some water on my face in the morning and don't complain.

"So, what's the plan for the day?" I ask Claire. I am sitting next to Aaron's crib braiding my hair while Clair tends to Aaron. Kate sits next to me, watching Claire closely.

"How well do you know Libby?" she asks me.

"I know her pretty well," I answer. "Why?"

Claire stands and walks across the beach towards Libby and Hurley. "I need to talk to her."

Kate scrambles after her, and I quickly follow. "About what? Claire, are you sure? We don't even know her."

"I think she can help me," Claire says, not breaking her stride."

"Libby's chill," I tell Kate.

"Hey," Claire greats when we get to where Libby and Hurley are sitting.

"Hey, guys," Hurley says.

"So, you're a shrink, right?" Claire asks Libby.

"I'm a clinical psychologist, but 'shrink' works too," Libby says, standing up.

"Can you help people remember things?" Claire asks, bouncing Aaron to keep him from crying too much.

"I guess it depends on what you need to remember."

Claire glances between Hurley and Libby and then back at me and Kate.

"How about we go for a walk, and you fill me in," Libby suggests. "I'll be back," she tells Hurley with a smile.

As we walk down the beach, Claire tells Libby the story of when she first disappeared. How Charlie was with her when Ethan attacked, two weeks after we crashed. And how she doesn't remember anything from after Ethan took her.

"When Jack and I found Charlie, he was hanging from a tree by his neck," Kate tells Libby. Libby glances between the three of us, horrified as she processes the information.

"I have no idea what happened," Claire tells her. "And now I'm seeing these, these flashes of things. And, you know, I have amnesia. There's two weeks missing from my life." Claire rocks Aaron anxiously and looks at Libby.

"Claire, I don't think you have amnesia," Libby says. "You know, sometimes when something terrible happens to us, there's a little switch in your head that flicks on to protect us from having to deal with it. Maybe your memories aren't gone. Maybe you're just blocking them."

Claire looks down at Aaron and then looks back to Libby. "Then I need you to unblock them. Cause my baby's sick and they did something to him."

Libby nods, unsteadily. "I can try to help you unblock them, but you need to prepare yourself for the possibility that this may not work. And if it does, whatever you are blocking out... you blocked it out for a reason. It's not going to be easy to face."

Claire nods resolutely. "I need to do this."

"I can take Aaron, give you guys some space," Kate offers.

"We'll need the quiet," Libby agrees.

Claire hesitates. "Okay...just stay nearby, both of you."

Kate holds out her arms for Aaron. "We'll take good care of him, just do what you need to do."

Claire lets go of Aaron and Kate takes him and holds the baby close to her chest, gently bouncing him. "It'll be okay," I reassure Claire. "Kate is great with Aaron and I'll be right there if he needs any medical attention."

"Alright, yeah, I trust you guys, of course. I'm just worried about him, but this will help me know what to do."

"Are you ready, then?" Libby asks.

"I'm ready," Claire confirms.

Kate and I follow the pair until they get to an isolated, quiet part of the beach, then we branch off. Far enough away so that Aaron's cries won't disturb Claire, but not too far away that she won't be able to find us.

Kate bounces Aaron and paces with him until his cries die down. "Do you think this will work?" she asks me.

I shrug. "It might help Claire, but I don't think it's going to be as simple as Claire thinks. But Aaron's fever will break regardless, and I think this is something she need to do."

"You really think Aaron's going to be okay? Just like that, without anything? He's sick!"

"He is sick, but Jack's right, and I would have said the same thing. It's nothing unusual for a baby Aaron's age. It is scary, especially when we have no medicine. But even without any medicine, Aaron should get better on his own."

"I was going to ask Sawyer for the medicine," Kate divulges. "But I thought since Aaron needs special medicine, it wouldn't be any good."

I frown. "I don't think that Sawyer has the right doses in his stash, but we could figure it out if we have to. But Aaron just needs fluids, rest, and to be kept cool until his fever breaks, trust me."

Kate looks ready to argue with me, but then we hear Claire screaming. Neither of us wastes a second before we run over and are at Claire's side. Libby is trying to calm Claire down, but Claire seems to be just getting more upset.

"What happened?" Kate asks Libby.

Libby responds, but I ignore her and focus on Claire. She's pushing Libby and yelling at her and I pull her away to take the brunt of her physical outlash.

"No, she needs to do it again!" Claire shouts at me. I hold her arms down until she stops trying to hit me.

"Claire, no, not right now, okay? I understand why you want to keep going, I would too, but this isn't okay for you right now."

"But I saw Ethan," Claire tells me, tearfully. She is a lot calmer, but now she is shaking with barely contained grief and anxiety. "And he was there, and he was giving me an exam, and-"

"Claire, what you saw could be a combined experience. Of things that happened before the crash and what happened here on the island," Libby tells her.

"No! Okay, no!" Claire shouts. "This was real! I was drugged. He did something to me."

Kate is about to say something, but I stop her. "Okay, it was real then. What do we need to do next?" I ask calmly.

"The place I was in, the room, I need to find it. It's real and there's medicine in there, okay? Please?"

"This is in the jungle?"

"Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but it's real, I'm sure of it."

"I'll go with you then," I offer.

"Kate?" Claire asks. "Please, I want your help."

Kate nods. "Alright, I'm in. Find someone to babysit Aaron. I have to get some stuff together then we can leave in 20 minutes."

Kate returns 15 minutes later with two guns and hands one to me. I turn it over in my hand and look at Kate. "How'd you get Sawyer to give you this?"

"I just told him what we were doing, and he gave them to me to borrow. I only asked for one, but he gave me two. Told me to give one to you.

I frown. "He didn't say anything else? I don't want him to think I owe him a favor because of this."

"Well, he said he wanted you to return them," Kate confesses. "But we need guns, Sam. I don't know what Claire's plan is, but it's not safe out there."

"No, you're right," I agree. "And I'll return them later. Should we go get Claire?"

Kate agrees and we walk the length of the beach over to where Claire is handing Aaron off to Sun.

"Ready to go?" Kate asks.

Claire nods before saying a final goodbye to Aaron. He's crying and restless in Sun's arms. "Hey, sweetheart, shhhh, mommy's gotta go now, sweetheart, okay? Shhh, don't cry. Don't cry. It's okay. I'll be back really soon. And I'll make you feel all better, okay? I promise." Claire gives Aaron one last tearful kiss on the forehead before we leave.

When Claire can't stop looking back, Kate checks on her and pushes her forward to keep walking. Once we enter the jungle, Kate takes the lead to track and I fall in pace with her. At first, she is silent, glancing anxiously around as we walk.

"It's going to be okay," I tell her after she looks over her shoulder for the tenth time. "We can keep you safe, Kate and I. I've been in this jungle more times than I can count, and I've made it out every time."

Claire nods. She is a little more focused, but she still appears unsettled. "Are you sure this is her trial?" she asks Kate.

"We started at the exact spot we chased her off the beach," Kate says, not taking her eyes off the trail as we continue to walk.

"So, what do you know about Rousseau?"

"Not much," Kate and I answer in unison.

"You spent all that time with her when you went out 'the black rock'. You must have talked about something?" Claire pushes. She quickens her pace to be even with Kate, and I match their speed.

"I didn't pay a lot of attention to her, she seemed pretty crazy," I tell Claire. "Plus, that was right after Patrick died and I was barely processing things."

Claire bites her lip. "Right, I'm sorry. What about you, Kate? Did she talk to you?"

Kate diverts our path to a mossy-looking rock and crouches to examine it before responding. "She talked about her ship crashing here. her and her research team getting stranded."

"What happened to them?"

"They died."

"How?"

Kate stands. "Tracks are gone. Trail ends here."

"How did they die?" Claire repeats.

"She killed them," I tell her softly.

"What? Why- why would she-" Claire stutters.

"Because they were infected," Rousseau interrupts, materializing at a nearby tree.

Claire walks slowly towards Rousseau, and I keep myself between them, ready to shove myself between Claire and Rousseau. I can see Kate mentally preparing to get her gun out.

Rousseau speaks to Claire. "You believe me now, don't you?"

"I want you to take me back there," Claire insists. She strides past me towards Rousseau and stands right in front of the French women. Kate and I immediately move to stand behind Claire.

"Back?"

"To where I scratched you."

"Claire-" Kate pleads.

"No, okay, she knows I remember. I remember a lot of it now. I remember the room, the medicine, the teenage girl," Claire is practically spitting at Rousseau now. "Okay, so don't lie to me and make out you don't know what I am talking about. My baby is sick, and you're going to take me back there to get what he needs right now."

Rousseau has a strange, stricken look on her face. Something about Claire's words caused a shift in her demeanor, but I can't remember when this shift occurred.

"It's not far from here," is all Rousseau says in response, and I am left pondering her motives as we follow her through the jungle.

The pace Rousseau sets is too fast for conversation, so we are silent as we follow her through the jungle. I keep a close eye on Rousseau, but she doesn't make any moves that appear threatening. As we walk, the air grows thick with humidity and I can hear a light drizzle of rain start high above us, but the foliage covers us from getting any of the rain. Eventually, seemingly at random, Rousseau stops.

"Why are we stopping here?" Claire asks.

"This is where you scratched me," Rousseau tells her.

Claire spins around. "But there is nothing here."

"Where do we go next?" Rousseau asks, apathetic to Claire's confusion.

"Why are you asking me that? You need to tell me where to go!"

"Where is this room?!" Rousseau shouts back.

"How can you be saying that? Okay, you grabbed me. That's why I scratched you- because you were taking me back to them!"

Rousseau's expression quickly changes from apathetic to horrified. "Is that what you think?" She approaches Claire and puts her hands on her shoulders. "You said you remembered. That's why I brought you here."

Before Rousseau can finish speaking, I have my gun pointed at her head. When she shakes Claire again, I interrupt. "Step away from her right now," I command.

"Get your hands off of her," Kate echoes my command, her gun also pointed at Rousseau.

Rousseau releases Claire and pushes her away before turning toward me. "Go ahead, please. Do it," she pleads, voice shaking. I freeze. In my peripheral, I notice Kate leave to look for Claire, but I remain frozen. Danielle's face looks exactly like how I felt after Patrick died, but amplified somehow. Even as I once again relieve the memory of looking at Patrick's dead body, I can see something much worse is going on behind Danielle's eyes and I think of her daughter that was taken from her. Gone but still alive, in God knows what conditions. Knowing the Others, it is enough to send a shiver down my spine. I almost pull the trigger and I think about turning the gun on myself. The promise of oblivion is more appealing than anything else.

Once I notice what I am doing, I lower my gun and shake my head. "I'm sorry." It's all I can tell her, although I know it does nothing to fill the gaping part of her that is missing that wants to live. "I'm going to go find Kate and Claire. You should come too."

I can hear Danielle following me and as we move from the jungle to a grassy clearing, the rain hits us. Once we catch up with Claire and Kate, I don't have time to pause for even a minute before Claire takes off again, this time into a large field with long grass. The rain picks up more and my shirt sticks to me as we follow Claire.

"I know this is it. It's here," Claire calls back. She is running now, and she takes only a few seconds to cross the field. When the field slopes down into a hill, Claire stumbles and almost falls. I see her pause, scan her surroundings, and continue forward.

We are halfway through the field, following Claire, when Danielle catches up to us. She grabs Kate's arm to stop her from following and I spin to face to pair. "Leave her alone," Danielle urges.

"Excuse me?" Kate wrenches her arm free from Daniele.

"Let her look."

Kate shakes her head. "Look for what?"

Kate continues forward, and I quickly catch up with her. "Maybe we should give her some space," I suggest.

"Sam, you can't really believe this. I'm not leaving her alone. It's dangerous."

"I'm not saying leave her alone, just give her some room. Still keep an eye on her."

It is pouring now, and Kate pauses only to wipe the hair out of her face before she runs after Claire without another word to me. I follow a few paces behind with a sigh and when Daniele and I catch up to Claire and Kate; they are pulling a large tarp away from something. When the tarp falls away, it reveals two metal doors with the DHARMA logo stamped to them.

I stand back while Kate and Claire pull the doors open. Behind them is a short staircase followed by a dark hallway with a flickering light at the end. Claire looks at Kate and me only once before going in. I draw my gun and Kate nods at me before the two of us follow Claire down the hall. As I walk, I scan for signs of anyone else in the new hatch with my gun at the ready.

The hallways of this hatch are rough and made of stone. We get halfway down the hall when I notice a metal box attached to the wall that looks like a circuit breaker. Kate looks at me and at the box and I nod. I cover the hall for Kate while she investigates the box. It creaks when she opens it and Claire jumps and looks back in surprise.

"Flashlights," Kate reports breathlessly. She tests one, and it works. Quickly, Kate hands flashlights out to everyone. I raise mine above my head with one hand and use my other hand to keep my gun level and we continue down the dark hall. Soon, we get to the hallway with the flickering lights and Claire stops in her tracks. The walls here are made of metal and they are smooth.

Kate speaks first. "The lights, I'm going to see if I can turn to power on. Will you be okay?"

"Yeah," Claire tells her.

"I'll keep an eye out here," I tell Kate.

Claire blinks and seems to come out of a trance. "It's this way," she says and walks forward down the hall. I silently follow. The hallway is lined with metal doors that all look the same. They look like the sort of doors you would find at an old, run-down school that hasn't been updated in a while. Claire is completely silent, and the only sounds in the hallway are our footsteps and the inconsistent hum of the light overhead. However, there is a purpose to Claire's steps and the door she chooses.

There is no light in the room we enter. The room feels spacious and empty, but I can't see it further than the light of my flashlight extends. The walls are faded grey panels with old outlines of decals on them. Claire pauses with her flashlight shining on a rocking chair when I hear a flip switch somewhere and the lights come on with a quiet whoosh of energy. With the lights on, I can see the entire room. It looks like an old nursery that got taken apart many years ago.

"What is this place?" Danielle asks.

"It's where they were going to keep him," Claire tells her.

Claire suddenly squats on the floor and picks up a knitted baby sock. She examines it intensely for a few minutes before standing up suddenly and shoving the sock in her backpack. "It's here," she tells us. "The medicine is here." She leaves the room without any further explanation, and Danielle and I quickly to follow. Claire immediately walks to a set of double doors at the end of the hall and throws them open. Inside is a blank, metal room with a fridge turned on its side on the ground. The lights above are like ones you would find in a surgical suite. They provide bright light to every angle of the center of the room, where the fridge currently sits. Claire tries to heave it up and then glances back at us. "Help me!"

At her command, I move to the opposite side of the fridge from her. "On three? One, two, three." I count down and we both heave up, standing as we move the fridge into an upright position. The bang of the fridge settling itself on the ground brings Kate running in.

"Is everything okay?"

"The vaccine is here!" Claire tells her urgently. Claire pushes the handle of the fridge down and pulls the door open. The inside is empty. Kate and I glance at each other, and Claire looks at us, near panic.

"It was in here! The vaccine was in here!" Claire cries as she shouts at us and she flips the metal shelves of the fridge. "The vaccine was in here! Where is it?!" Claire spins towards us, glaring at Danielle. Claire walks forward and pushes Danielle. "You were bringing me back here! Where is it?! You know where it is, don't you?! Tell me! Tell me where it is!" Claire shakes Danielle, who just stands there passively. I am about to pull Claire off of her when Claire sways on her feet and takes a step back. I move forward to catch her, but I don't have to. Claire looks at the scratches on Danielle's arm and freezes as she is pulled into another trance.

I take a step back. "I'll just give her a minute," I whisper to Kate. Kate nods and we wait in silence for Claire to come back. When she does, she is crying.

"You weren't... trying to take me back? Were you? You were trying to save me."

"I carried you on my back to your camp. I left you where they would find you."

"I'm sorry," Claire says softly. Danielle doesn't respond, but turns around and takes a step down the hallway. "Where are you going?" Claire calls after her.

"You're not the only one who didn't find what they were looking for," Danielle answers her. After she speaks, Danielle walks back down the hallway alone.

The three of us meet Danielle outside and begin the walk back. I silently take the lead behind Danielle, who is silent. Claire and Kate lag behind, quietly talking to each other. It would be easy to catch up with Danielle and start a conversation with her and I can think of a ton of things I'd like to talk to her about, but I don't. When I had my gun pointed at her head, her eyes were empty and something in her was, and still is, permanently broken. She looked the way I felt the moment after Patrick's death, but there was a magnitude to it that I couldn't understand. She seems to be constantly reliving her loss and as much as she needs comfort; I know there are no words that can give that to her. So, we walk in silence and I think about what I would say to Patrick if he were here.

When we get back to the part of the jungle that is just next to our camp, Danielle stops. "This is as far as I go."

I pause in my tracks, unsure how to say goodbye to a woman who is more than a stranger but less than a friend; but, it is Claire who stops Danielle after she has already turned around and walked a few paces away from us. "Your baby... was it a girl?"

Danielle turns around. "Yes." Her voice is hardly higher than a whisper.

"What was her name?"

"Alex... Alexandra," Danielle tells Claire with a pained smile.

"I remember a girl- a girl with blue eyes?" Danielle doesn't confirm, but Claire continues. "She, uh, she helped me. She saved me, just like you did. She wasn't like the others. She was good."

Danielle blinks back tears before she speaks. "I'm sorry that you didn't find what you were looking for. And I hope your baby is not infected. But if it is... I hope you know what must be done."

Her suggestion makes me sick, and I see Claire's face harden with it, too. Rousseau walks away without another word and we all let her go.

"Come on," I say roughly. "Let's get back."

Claire returns to Aaron as soon as we get back to camp, and I turn to Kate. "Give me your gun, and I'll return them now."

"You don't have to do it now. And I can do it, if you want. I mean, it was for a baby. Sawyer's bad, but he's not that bad."

"No, I don't want to put you in that position. And you made a deal with him. I don't think he'd let that go." Unwittingly, my mind goes to the last deal I made with Sawyer. The memories flash through me like lightning, and I have to fight to not relieve them completely.

"Sam?"

I blink to refocus on Kate. She is looking at me with a concerned expression.

"Sorry, I spaced out for a minute."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Stop worrying. Look, I can handle this. Just give me your gun and go take care of Claire. I know how to deal with Sawyer, and I'd rather just get this over with."

Kate nods and pulls her gun out of her pants and hands it to me. I take it and stuff it into my waistband.

"Just let me know if you need anything, okay?"

"I will," I promise. "And Kate... try to talk to Jack, okay? I know you two haven't been on the best terms, but I think he needs you. He's just stubborn, you know him. Don't start off interrogating him about the hatch, just let him know you're there for him"

"I'm trying. It feels like he's avoiding me."

I nod. "He might be, he has a lot on his plate. Just talk to him. Even if he doesn't say anything, he'll appreciate it."

"Okay, I can do that. Do you think he'll want to talk to me?"

"I couldn't tell you, but let me know how it goes. We'll talk tomorrow?"

"Yeah, good luck."

I laugh slightly. "Thanks, I'll need it."

I head straight for Sawyer's tent after Kate and I part ways. I don't know if I'll be able to keep going if I lose my momentum. When I get to the entrance, I walk straight into Sawyer's tent without pausing at the door for any sort of introduction. He looks up when I enter and immediately puts his book down. Even though I told myself I wouldn't, I can't stop myself from looking at him. He's lounged out on an airplane chair and he has a new pair of glasses resting lopsided on his face. It reminds me of the last bet we made, when he lost and I won the Polaroid of him that I still have in my bag. I remember almost wishing I had lost so he would kiss me, because I was so tired of fighting my feeling for him. Even in my reminiscence, I don't pause for long before I push ahead with what I came to do. I pull the two guns from my waistband and awkwardly hold them out to him. "Kate gave these to me to return to you," I tell him. Sawyer is on his feet before I finish speaking.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" he demands.

"Excuse me?"

"Kate told me you were planning on heading out there without a gun or any sort of protection. Are you really that stupid? You're going to get yourself killed! You know I'd give you whatever you needed."

"I didn't tell Kate to ask for a gun for me," I say through gritted teeth.

"I'm not stupid, grey eyes. If there's danger involved, you're going to be there."

I frown at his use of my nickname, but remain calm. "Look, I get you are all proud of yourself for having all the guns and medicine and for fooling us all, but I don't need you to do me any favors. Everything turned out fine, so it doesn't even matter."

"Nothing happened, but it could of! You know what is out there."

Something about his tone makes me snap. Maybe it's the way he makes it sound like he actually cares after everything he did. Or maybe it's that his performance is so good that I almost believe him. "Just take the guns already! Please! And don't act like you give a shit about me. We've already established that you don't."

"That's not true, look-" Sawyer runs his hands through his hair, and it's so attractive I almost let go of all my anger right there. "It's complicated, alright, grey eyes."

I shake my head. "It's not complicated. You never cared about me, not more than you care about getting the upper hand in this twisted island game, you see. Tell me how that's complicated."

Sawyer is silent.

"That's what I thought. Just take the gun, please."

Sawyer takes one gun from me and then holds onto my hand so I can't leave. "Keep this one," he says gently. "Believe what you want to believe about me, but I need you to stay safe. You promised me once you would stay alive."

My breath feels shaky now, and it takes me a minute to find the words I need. Sawyer's too close and his scent and warmth surround me and it makes my brain foggy. "I'll try to stay safe, but I'm not keeping the gun. I don't want to owe you anything."

"You don't owe me anything, you've saved my life enough times for that. You just have to stay alive," his voice is raw, and it sounds so real. All I want to do is believe that he means everything and is saying and forgive him. I want to let him pull me into his arms and just have him again. I want him to kiss me and touch me again and make me forget everything. I want to wake up the next morning still undressed in his arms.

I pull away abruptly. "Okay, fine. Can I go now?"

Sawyer nods and backs away. "Goodnight, grey eyes."

I don't say anything, but when I am outside of his tent, I whisper a quiet goodnight to him that gets lost in the darkness.

End of chapter. Oh my god, that was a long one! Thoughts? Please, please, please leave them in a review. I will try to have the next chapter up soon, I have some breaks coming up in school that I think I can use to write. - K