Chapter Thirty Two
I can tell Edward is nervous. He keeps fiddling with his cufflinks and his knee continually bounces but he's here and he's trying and he's doing it for me. I just hope it's not too much for him. This kind of event can be overwhelming at the best of times, let alone when you're used to Forks.
We drive down the winding hills into the city before my phone starts to ring. I look at the caller ID and see it says Victoria. I sigh a little before answering the phone.
"Hey Vic" I answer.
"Bella, are you on the way?" She asks.
"Yes, we're just approaching Hollywood Boulevard" I reply.
"Pull over and I'll meet you in the car" She says before hanging up.
I huff a little before leaning forward to speak to Caius.
"Can you pull over please?" I ask.
"Everything alright?" Edward asks.
"Yeah, Victoria, wants to meet us here" I reply.
"Why?" He asks.
"No idea" I reply.
We sit there for about five minutes before another blacked-out car pulls to a halt behind ours and I see Victoria climb out, her fiery red hair bouncing in the breeze. Jacob climbs out of the car and opens the door for her before she climbs into the back with us, her eyes falling on Edward.
"Bella," She says, looking at me.
"Victoria" I reply.
"I just wanted to brief you on a few things," She says, her eyes still trained on Edward.
"Victoria, this is my boyfriend Edward" I introduce them, feeling the awkwardness become unbearable.
"Yes," Victoria nods.
"Nice to meet you" Edward replies politely.
"I'm sure," Victoria says and I feel like slapping her, "We can carry on," She says, tapping Caius's seat like he's some kind of well-trained dog.
The car starts to move again and I notice Edward glance at me from the corner of his eye.
"So a couple of things, the first is I've already been told that James has arrived and is on the red carpet. It would be good to get a few poses of the two of you together, sell the idea of a romance between the two of you" She says.
"I don't know about-" I try to argue.
"Think of the movie..." She sighs, shuffling through her clutch and completely ignoring me.
I glance at Edward and notice he's looking out the window, his jaw tense.
"Then obviously there'll be the entire cast photos and of course, it would be good to get you with Elizabeth Masen. We might be able to get a few comparisons written about you that way" She rambles on.
I feel the heat of annoyance in my chest before I see the glimmer of the venue up ahead.
"Edward won't be doing the red carpet with me" I explain to Victoria.
"Obviously" She snorts and I notice Edward swallow hard, his eyes flashing to hers with a look of anger I've rarely seen.
I feel my stomach twist with guilt as I think about how he must feel right now.
"Caius, could you pull up to the side door first please?" I ask.
"Of course" Caius nods politely.
We pull up to the side door and Caius brings the car to a halt.
"Jacob is going to take you in and then meet me back outside" I explain. "Then I'll meet you in there" I smile.
"Okay," Edward nods, giving me a small smile.
"See you in a minute?" I ask, trying to make this not feel as weird as it does.
"Sure" He nods.
He leans over to give me a kiss but Victoria places her hand on his shoulder stopping him.
"Her makeup," She says.
Edward's eyes flash to hers before looking at me. I open my mouth to say it's fine but Edward just nods and gets out of the car with Jacob. The door slams behind them and I watch them disappear into the building together.
"Victoria, you shouldn't have said that. It's up to me if my boyfriend kisses me or not" I tell her quietly.
Victoria looks at me, surprise on her face.
"I'm doing this for your benefit" She replies, her tone cold.
"My benefit?" I laugh humourlessly.
"Yes. He's not walking the red carpet with you because you want to protect his privacy. How would it look if he got out of the car covered in your lipstick?" She hisses.
I stare at her, unable to argue. She has a point. It would look bad and Edward would end up on the cover of every magazine.
"For that reason, I'd avoid too much touchy-feely stuff tonight" Victoria sniffs.
Suddenly the passenger door opens and Jacob slides back in.
"Is he alright?" I ask.
"Yes, he's waiting in the hall with a glass of champagne" He assures me.
I nod before Caius moves the car around to the front of the building. I can already hear the screams and see the camera flashes through the tinted windows.
"Ready?" Jacob asks as we idle to a stop.
"Yes" I whisper before he opens my door and I'm blinded by lights.
I stand in the lobby of the building with a glass of champagne, feeling out of place and awkward. There is already a large group of people wandering around with champagne and canapes, talking excitedly to each other and taking photos.
I stand near the large glass doors where I can see the red carpet, keeping an eye out for Bella.
I see a blacked-out car pull up and cameras start to go mad as screams radiate. I watch as the passenger door opens and Jacob appears. He glances around before opening the back door and helping Bella slide out.
She smiles at the cameras and waves at the crowd, looking like she's completely at home in this circus. I sip my champagne as I watch Victoria come around to her side and whisper in her ear.
Bella nods at something before making her way up the red carpet, smiling and waving. She starts to sign a few autographs for people and I almost laugh at how bizarre it seems, that she has a fan base.
As she does I glance around at the other people on the red carpet. I recognize a few from other movies before my eyes fall on James Witherdale. He's dressed in a tux looking like a fucking poster boy for Hollywood, his blinding teeth flashing under the lights.
His eyes move to Bella, watching her move up the line before speaking to a few journalists. She smiles and laughs before gesturing to her dress, obviously talking about the design and Alice.
When she's eventually done she moves towards the center of the red carpet, posing for a few photos. She places her hand on her hip, turning this way and that before turning her back to the cameras and looking over her shoulder at them.
I take a long sip of my champagne, watching James move towards Bella and whispering in her ear. She smiles at him before he wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her into his side. She places her hand on his shoulder and they smile for the camera.
I hear the press shouting at them both, telling them to look this way, smile for the camera and even give her a kiss. Bella ignores the calls for attention but even at this distance I can tell James is lapping it up. He leans in and gives Bella a kiss on the cheek, laughing jovially at the press when they ask him to give her a proper one.
I feel anger and jealousy stew in my stomach before Bella pulls away and a few other people come over to do group shots. When I see James tuck a piece of Bella's hair behind her ear and I have to look away, swallowing down the bile.
I knew it would be like this, that I would have to watch her pretend but I can't deny the pain I feel in my chest at the realization that I have to share her with everyone out there. From James to Victoria to the press to her fans, she will always have someone else vying for her attention.
I focus on drinking my champagne and downing the rest of my glass before grabbing another as a tailored waiter passes with a tray. I'm halfway through my second glass when the doors finally open and Bella breezes into the room. She beams when she sees me.
"Urgh, god that took forever" She smiles brightly.
"You're very popular" I reply, glancing behind her at James.
His eyes flash to mine before they drop down my body, making me feel small and insignificant.
"Have you been okay?" She asks quietly and my eyes flash back to hers.
"Yes. I've had champagne to keep me company" I reply.
"Good" She laughs.
Suddenly a waiter appears next to her and she grabs a glass for herself.
"Edward" I hear my name and turn to see James standing at my side.
"James" I reply.
"Hope you weren't too bored in here by yourself," He says.
His words are innocent but I know the meaning behind them. Hope you weren't too bored while I took your girlfriend, while I wrapped my arm around her and kissed her cheek and played with her hair.
"Not at all" I reply, trying to keep my tone light and my face neutral.
"Are you excited about the movie?" He grins.
"Yes. I'm sure Bella has a lot to be proud of" I nod, trying to steer the conversation to more neutral ground.
"Oh yes, there's a couple of scenes in particular where she shines," James says.
I look at Bella and she smiles innocently but I feel there's an undertone to his words I can't place.
"Please excuse us, James, there's someone I'd like to introduce Edward to," Bella says.
She takes my arm before dragging me away from Mr-Fucking-Perfect. I let her lead me through the crowds before I see two men talking animatedly to each other.
"Bella!" One cries when he sees her.
"Laurent" She smiles.
"Edward, this is Laurent and Marcus, the producers of the movie. Laurent, Marcus this is my boyfriend Edward" She introduces us.
"Boyfriend?" Marcus asks, looking surprised.
"Yes," I reply.
He recovers quickly before holding out his hand for me to shake.
"It's nice to meet you," He says as I shake his hand.
"I didn't realize you had a special someone," Laurent says to Bella before shaking my hand as well.
I'm suddenly acutely aware that she hasn't mentioned me, hasn't spoken about me.
"Well, we enjoy our privacy" She replies easily.
"So Edward, what do you do?" Marcus asks.
The dreaded question.
"I um...I work in houses" I reply vaguely.
"Doing what exactly?" Laurent asks, sipping his champagne.
I glance at Bella, unsure what to say before deciding just to be honest.
"Construction" I reply.
"As in you own a construction business?" Marcus asks, looking genuinely interested.
"No, I er, I work in construction myself," I reply.
I notice a look cross Laurent and Marcus's faces before Laurent smiles pleasantly.
"Tonight must be quite different for you then," He says.
"Yes, just a bit" I chuckle.
"Are you excited about the film?" Marcus asks.
"Yes. I'm sure Bella is great in it" I reply.
"Oh, she is!" Laurent cries.
They talk for a couple more minutes about the movie before excusing themselves to speak to other people. Once they've gone and Bella and I are alone I glance at her.
"Was that okay? Saying about construction?" I ask.
"Yeah of course" She smiles.
Suddenly I see movement from the corner of my eye and see an older woman standing next to us.
"Bella" She smiles.
"Elizabeth, hi!" Bella grins.
"Hello," Elizabeth says to me and I smile, not knowing exactly who she is.
"Oh, Elizabeth this is my boyfriend Edward, Edward this is the one and only Elizabeth Masen," Bella says.
Elizabeth Masen?! Fuck.
"It's a pleasure to meet you" I smile.
"And you. Bella mentioned a boyfriend and I've been curious ever since" She laughs.
It's a nice sound. Light and younger than her years.
"So you were half a boyfriend and now you're a whole one" She smiles.
I look a little confused before Bella laughs.
"I explained the Elizabeth that we used to go out in high school and that we were kind of seeing each other for a while, hence half a boyfriend," Bella explains.
"Oh," I chuckle, "No, very much a whole boyfriend now" I smile.
"So tell me about yourself" Elizabeth grins, sipping her champagne.
"What would you like to know?" I ask.
"You're from a small town Bella said" Elizabeth replies.
"Yes, about two hours from Seattle." I nod.
"And you've always lived there?" She asks.
"Yes, I only recently left to visit Bella here," I tell her, suddenly realizing how coddled that sounds.
"Lovely to grow up in a small town. I did so myself" She replies, making me feel immediately at ease. "And what do you do for work?" She asks.
"I work in construction" I reply.
"Oh, a trade. That's good. Always in need of a good tradesman," She smiles.
I smile back before we hear an announcement that the film will be starting shortly.
"We should go in now," Elizabeth says, "Don't want to keep the press waiting".
I chuckle as she rolls her eyes before she disappears in a flurry of silk.
"Ready?" Bella asks, smiling at me.
"Yeah" I nod, placing my empty glass on a table and following her to the door.
As we approach, I see Victoria standing to one side waiting for Bella. I try to ignore her before I see her red talons grab Bella's arm.
"You're at the front Bella, with James. Edward, you're in row thirty-three" She tells me.
"What?" Bella asks, looking annoyed.
"He's in row thirty-three" Victoria repeats.
"I'm sitting with Edward," Bella says forcefully.
"No, you're not. If you sit together, there will be hundreds of photos of you with the mystery man over here. It will damage your reputation." Victoria argues.
"I don't-"
"Bella." Victoria snaps, "Sit at the front. You're not even going to be able to talk for a couple of hours. Just do it".
I feel anger flare in my belly but I don't want to make things difficult for Bella so I gently touch her arm.
"It's fine. I'll see you at the end of the movie" I mumble.
"No, I-"
"Bella" Victoria hisses, glancing around at a few of the eyes that have turned to look at our exchange.
She looks at me sadly but eventually nods before heading into the movie theatre. I find my seat, right at the back of the theatre, and watch as Bella makes her way to the front with James. I swallow down the bile before settling back into the chair and taking some deep breaths.
It's only a couple of hours and as Victoria said, we can't talk anyway.
A couple of minutes later, a man stands at the front of the room and applause rings out. He introduces himself as Demitri, the director of the movie before saying a few words about the meaning behind the film and what he hopes they have achieved as a cast and crew.
I clap as he retakes his seat before the lights go out and the movie starts. I feel a mixture of excitement and anxiety in my belly as the film begins. I'm excited to see what Bella's been working on for almost a year but I'm also nervous about seeing her pretend to want someone else.
As I watch the words Girls of Yesterday appear on the screen I let out a slow breath, waiting for the story to unfold.
I sit in my seat and seethe. How dare Victoria speak to me like that? How dare she tell me I can't sit with Edward?
I'll admit, it would garner attention and a photograph of us would probably end up in the press but seriously, the night is supposed to be about celebrating the movie I've worked on for almost a year and I can't even hang out with my boyfriend.
I try to glance over my shoulder, looking for Edward in the dark but I can't see him. I sigh a little, turning back to face the screen as the title Girls of Yesterday appears.
"Are you alright?" James whispers in my ear.
"Yeah, I just wondered where Edward was" I whisper back.
"I'm sure he'll be fine. Just enjoy the movie" James smiles.
I give him a small smile but ignore him. I feel bad asking Edward to come with me to the premiere now that we've not even been able to sit together.
As the movie gets going I try to focus on the story in front of me, hearing the audience laugh at certain points and a hush fall over them at others.
When I make my debut, Elizabeth reaches over and gives my hand a small squeeze, smiling at me. I smile back, feeling a warm feeling in my stomach. But then James puts his hand on my knee and gives it a squeeze and the feeling is replaced by dislike and annoyance. I look over at him but he just gives me a smile and removes his hand.
I continue to watch the movie, watching the story unfold and wondering what Edward thinks of it so far. When the scene that he helped me practice comes on the screen I feel an ache in my chest at the memory.
I'll admit, I'm enjoying the movie. I'd enjoy it more with Bella next to me though.
I'm aware that we're coming to the end of the story and I'm acutely aware that the kiss scene I've been dreading is looming in the imminent future. I try to tell myself it's just acting, part of a job, a contract but I can't help the pang of pain I feel in my stomach at the thought.
I know it's happening when I watch James's character run out of the house, leaving his fiance for Bella. I watch as he turns up at her door and Bella opens up, seeing him standing on the doorstep.
"Raymond" She breathes.
I swallow thickly before seeing them both move toward each other, their mouths meeting in a heated kiss. I breathe through my nose, my fingers tightening on the arm of the chair as I watch him push her into the wall, deepening the kiss.
I feel acid in my stomach flare as I watch her fist his hair, a small noise leaving the back of her throat. The same one that she makes when I kiss her like that. I close my eyes and try to rein in my overactive heart and the pain I feel in it as they stumble out of frame.
After that everything kind of blurs into one. I'm aware I'm watching the end of the movie but I can't concentrate. All I can see is James's mouth on Bella's, her hands in his hair, the noise that left her mouth, the one that left his chest.
When the lights eventually come back on and applause sounds around the room I force my eyes open and my hands to move in time with everyone else's. I watch as Demitri, the director, stands and bows as the crowd begins to stand, giving him a standing ovation.
I rise to my feet, following suit as Demitri pulls the rest of the cast up. I see Bella stand and turn to face the crowd, her eyes scanning the room for me. She finds me and I stare back at her.
Even from here, I can see her eyes look guilty.
I see Elizabeth wrap her arm around Bella's waist and Bella smiles down at her, sliding her arm over her shoulder before James wraps his arm around Bella's waist as well. She places her free hand on his shoulder and I feel jealousy spike in my stomach, but it's nothing compared to what happens next.
I could spit fire when I see James's eyes lock with mine before he turns his head and kisses the inside of Bella's bare arm. It's a small touch, barely there, but it's an affectionate gesture, it's one of more than co-stars and even if this is just make-believe, I can't pretend anymore.
The room suddenly seems too small and warm and I feel the need to leave immediately.
"Excuse me" I whisper to the couple next to me as the crowd continues to clap and applaud.
I slide out of my row before making my way out of the movie theatre. I don't look back, I don't want to see any more.
Instead, I push my way out of the theatre and into the lobby. I look around for Jacob, wondering if I could catch a ride back with him but I don't see him. Instead, I see the door I came through and slip out that way into the ally next to the venue.
I walk quickly to the street, seeing cameras and press still photographing various comings and goings before I stick my arm out hailing a cab. As the car pulls to a stop I see a few journalists look my way, rushing toward me.
I slide into the car quickly but before I can close the door they're grabbing it, asking me questions.
"Sir! What's your name? Who are you with?" They shout.
"I'm nobody" I reply.
I slam the door closed on them before giving the driver Bella's address. As we drive away, the city lights fading behind me, I close my eyes and try to breathe.
I can't do this. I can't share her. I can't only have the parts of Bella that are available, that are free at this moment. I thought I could, thought I could learn to cope with it, deal with it, accept it but I can't.
Not anymore.