Hi Ladies,

This was a very exciting chapter for me to write and I absolutely love how it turned out. I hope I did it justice. Thanks so much for reading and let me know what you all think.

Chapter 31

Bella-

I was going to have sex.

I took a deep breath and slowly released it as I climbed from the shower. I grabbed a thick plush towel hanging from the bathroom rack and wrapped it around myself, and then, I froze. Literally, my feet were stuck to the floor mat in front of the shower, my entire body trembling with excitement and mortification.

I was going to have sex.

My chest drew tight with each inhale, and the oxygen turned to lead in my lungs. Visions of my body entangled with Edward's flashed through my mind. I wanted this with him. Sitting at his family dinner, staking my claim in front of the Italian princess changed the atmosphere between him and me. I knew it was supposed to be a ruse, but since I'd stepped into Edward's life, nothing had felt fake.

'I'm going to make you my wife in every way.'

Holy mother.

I was going to have sex.

Twenty minutes ago, we'd returned home from a disaster of a dinner. I'd instantly collected Hope and fed her. As soon as she'd finished her dinner, I placed her back in the kitten bed Edward had made her, all while Edward called to check on his mother. Once he was assured she was being seen by a doctor and seemed to be doing well, he grabbed me by the waist, kissed me hard on the lips, and directed me to my room. 'I'm going to hop in the shower,' he proclaimed, gesturing to the state of his clothes. Noticing a smudge of blood near the corner of his sexy mouth, I nodded, taking the opportunity to freshen up as well.

Stripping down, I hurriedly took my hair down, and brushed it out before heading to my own shower. In a cloudy daze, I washed, letting all thoughts escape me.

If I didn't I probably would've run scared straight out of this condo. Was I scared of Edward? Absolutely not. I was more afraid of myself than him. What if I freaked out? What if I disappointed him? While he'd been extremely patient with me, and of course, our relationship was never supposed to go this far, the dynamics had changed between us.

How long could a man of Edward's stature remain tolerant? He was strong and powerful. He could have anyone he wanted. He didn't need to take on the burden of me.

I was going to have sex. Wow.

When had everything changed? When had it changed for me? When had it changed for Edward?

When had our facade turned into something so intense? Was it when he stopped by the animal shelter and insisted on buying me, Hope? Was it when he stomped into my family home and slayed the monsters that haunted me? Was it when I stuck a knife in his father's back and threatened to maim him for touching Edward? Or was it tonight when the princess had him cornered in the library–when I boldly grabbed his cock and staked my claim?

I couldn't pinpoint when everything changed, but I knew it was a domino effect. Everything that happened between us from the moment 'Adam' sat next to me on that bus to this one led us here–led me here.

It felt surreal. I felt like I was in a dream. Slowly, I peeled my gaze from my feet to glance at the steam-covered mirror. If I took a few steps forward and cleared the mist, I would see a different woman standing there.

Oh, I was still Bella. No matter what happened or how I felt, I would always be Bella. But I wasn't the same Bella I'd been a few weeks ago.

I was freer. I was lighter. Days ago, I would've never touched Edward freely. I was too hung up in the past, too lost, too fearful. I was no longer that scared woman. Thanks to Edward's continued patience, I had overcome so much in such a short time, but was it enough?

I replayed the events of the other night in my mind, remembering the way Edward lifted me in his arms and pressed me against the wall, the thrust of his body against mine, and his continued caution all while giving me my first orgasm. Instead of pressing me for sex that night, he'd disappeared into his bathroom where I discovered him masturbating for relief. Of course, my impulse had been to run, but I didn't.

If I thought about it hard enough, I could still feel his smooth flesh in the palm of my hand, and hear his hoarse cries. I could feel his huge body shudder between my knees while his fingertips bit painfully into my thighs. With a few deliberate strokes of my hand, he'd erupted like Pompeii, his hot cum streaming through my fingers, hot and thick.

A fever started in my lower belly and spread through my limbs, leaving me shaken. Function slowly returned to my arms and legs, and while my mind was locked in this numb state, they seemed to take the lead. I stopped next to my bed and glanced blindly around the room.

What did a woman wear for her first time?

I was going to have sex. Oh, shit.

I could do this. I loved being in his arms. I loved the way his kisses made me feel. I loved the way he stopped periodically to ensure I was okay with what was happening. I loved sleeping next to him.

This was different, however, I was purposely planning to lose the last shred of innocence I possessed. This was intentional. Everything up to this point had been by chance, but this was a far cry different from anything I'd experienced so far. For the first time, I wanted a man to touch me–I wanted Edward to touch me.

Perspiration prickled my forehead at the thought. Panic started to close my throat. What if I freaked out? What if he turned out the lights and I forgot where I was? What if I sucked in bed?

I forcefully shook my head, clearing all the doubt from my mind, and I grabbed the handle of the drawer on my dresser and pulled it open. I stared at the contents inside. Bras and panties of all colors and fabrics greeted me. I pinned the towel under my arms to prevent it from falling and my fingers shook when I thumbed through my options.

Lace? Silk? Red? Teal? White?

I settled on a white bra with pearlescent beads woven into the material and matching lace boyshorts. Despite what happened to me in my earlier life, I would like to think I was still innocent, and the white seemed fitting. I was still a virgin.

I could easily revert back to my old fake confidence and dress as I would've while working the streets. Obviously, men flocked to that sort of thing, otherwise, I would've never made a living doing it. I didn't want to be that woman, however. I didn't want this to be fake. I wanted to be me. I wanted what should've happened all along. I wanted to give myself to my husband, and I wanted it to be real.

With this decision made, my brain seemed to snap out of a trance. Before I lost my nerve, I peeled the towel from my body, and quickly, dried the spots of water still dotting my skin. Shuffling the terrycloth through my hair, I shook out the damp locks, lifting my chin, refusing to bow to the demons of the past.

I might be giving my virginity to Edward, but this was every bit as much for me as for him. I deserved to feel wanted and desired without the burden of disgust and humiliation. I deserved to feel desire like any other woman. I deserved to taste and feel passion.

If anyone could do that for me it was Edward. If I was asking Edward to take on such a huge task then he deserved a woman who wasn't petrified. He deserved a woman who took initiative and made an effort.

Feeling rejuvenated, I retrieved the bra and panties from the drawer and shoved it closed. Taking a deep breath, I plucked the tags from the delicate lace and pulled the boyshorts up my legs. Snapping the bra in place, I headed back to the bathroom and used a hand towel to wipe the remaining moisture from the mirror. Once my reflection stared back at me, I brushed my damp hair, leaving it hanging loose down my back.

I spritzed a few squirts of perfume on my bra and panties before taking a deep calming breath. With a few swipes of mascara and a new coat of clear lip gloss, I stepped back and studied my reflection. Fireflies bounced around in my belly, sparking waves of heat that shot to my toes and raced down my spine at the thought of facing Edward like this.

This was right.

This was what I wanted.

I was going to have sex.

Feeling lightheaded with a rush of nerves, I glanced one last time at my appearance and rubbed the gooseflesh from my arms. Finally, I managed to calm down some of the jitters and headed to my closet. I had a terrycloth robe for lounging and a sheer one hanging on the back of my door. A part of me wanted to hide behind the thicker robe. I never felt so vulnerable about the prospect of a man seeing me like this. When John robbed me of my childhood, I managed to escape into my own head, but this wasn't like that.

Shoving John from my mind, I reached for the sheer robe and slipped it over my shoulders, and with a mental push, I stepped in front of my door. The brass felt cool against my hot palm as I wrapped my fingers around the knob.

I was going to have sex.

I took a deep breath and turned the knob. Ever so slowly, I opened the barrier, shocked to the roots of my dyed hair when I came face to face with the man responsible for changing my whole life.

Edward was leaning against the wall just outside of my room. His head was tilted like he had been staring at his feet so when he looked up the hollows of his eyes were shaded by shadows, giving him a predatory appearance. Fire leapt from his gaze to mine as his navy blues stared intently at me, his nostrils flaring as if he were barely restraining himself. His damp hair hung over his forehead and he'd dressed in his basketball shorts and a simple black wife beater, leaving his shoulders and upper part of his chest bare.

My cheeks heated as my gaze slipped down his taut form. His arms flexed in reaction, the veins protruding and pulsing. My initial impulse was to back away from the hunger I spied on his face. His jaw was locked, the nerve jumping near his neck, drawing my attention straight to his throat.

He resembled an animal. He looked like he was about to pounce. He was a wolf and I was his dinner. I shivered.

I should have been scared. I had never witnessed such unabashed desire on a man's face before. Even while, I should seek refuge, I was rooted to the floor. Anticipation rippled through me, my clit throbbed, and damp heat coated my panties.

What did his skin taste like? Would it be salty? Would it be spicy? I wanted to suck on that pulse thundering beneath the smooth skin of his throat. I wanted to feel those arms lock around me and hold me in place. For the first time in my life, I wanted to be dominated by a man. I

wanted to be dominated by this man.

Edward.

These were the thoughts plaguing my mind when he straightened from the wall and took a step toward me. He didn't stop until he stood an inch from me. Heat emanated from him, scorching my bare skin beneath this sheer robe, his eyes burning through me as he visually ate me up. His spicy cologne left me entranced, making me lean in closer to relish the scent, the tip of my nose grazing his shoulder, and leaving me feeling weak.

A quiver started in my thighs, the fireflies in my belly going wild as they flew throughout my whole body as his hand lifted. I whimpered when his knuckles skimmed my collarbone, brushing my hair out of his way, he trailed them down toward my bra. Gently, he traced my breast, and my nipples eagerly hardened. His gaze drilled into mine, his tone harsh as he spoke, "I was starting to think you'd changed your mind."

I could no longer meet his eyes as he moved closer and I stared at his jaw. He was standing so close now, my lips grazed his skin as I answered, my voice feign and wobbly, completely unrecognizable. "I-I didn't change my mind," swallowing my moan, my eyes rolled when his breath tickled my ear. "I w-wanted to look pretty for you."

The smell of his skin was too much to bear and I gave into temptation. I brushed my lips against his jaw, licking the rough flesh, savoring the salt popping on my tongue. Electric currents bounced between my neurons completely robbing me of coherent thought when he growled in my ear. "Fuck, princess, I … fuck."

Before I could make sense of what was happening, Edward jumped several inches out of my reach, leaving me very confused. "What? D-did I do something?"

His hands fisted at his side and every muscle in his body was rigid as he held himself at a distance. With a jerky shake of his head, he closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. "Princess, you didn't do shit wrong." His jaw clenched and after a long moment of shutting me out, he opened his eyes to stare at me. The fire and hunger never diminished from his eyes, his pupils widening. "I lied, baby. I'm sorry …"

What the fuck was happening? What did he mean he'd lied? What could be so bad that he would stop me at this point? Fear clamped around my heart and some of the fireflies dimmed as I tried to make sense of what was going on. "W-what? What did you lie about?"

The cords of his neck strained as he swallowed hard. "I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to scare you. If I stay in control of this, I'm going to fucking terrify you." His eyes closed again and shook his head with mounting frustration. He opened his hands at his sides and clenched them again, his internal struggle evident in every tense muscle of his body. "I want you too much, princess. I have this animal breathing inside of me and it wants loose. Fuck …"

Relief shot to my toes. He didn't stop this because he didn't desire me. He stopped because he was on the brink of losing his shit. My hand flew to my pounding heart, thankful it hadn't wilted moments ago and died at my feet. "D-do you have any idea how much you just scared the crap out of me?" Pulling my bottom lip between my teeth, I gnawed at the plump flesh. "I thought you changed your mind. I thought maybe you didn't want me."

A humorless chuckle ripped through my room and vibrated off my walls. Edward was shaking, his biceps and forearms flexing with restraint. "Baby, I want to treasure you, I do. But if I lead this, I'm gonna fuck it all up, because I want to fucking devour you–every fucking inch."

"Really?" I smiled. I smiled a bright full fucking smile. My teeth were on full display and I couldn't squash the giddy rush slamming through my blood. I felt desired. I felt like I was floating, and I didn't want firm footing. I felt shy. I felt like a woman. Tears pricked my eyes, flooded with emotions I couldn't explain as I stared at this fierce animal of a man barely stopping himself from pouncing on me, but somehow managing to stop anyway.

His shorts jumped and my attention darted south. His cock was fully displayed in the thin jersey material, the tent springing up, allowing me to see how I affected him. The rapid rise and fall of his chest pulled his tank tight against hard muscle, and I swear, I felt his hunger. I understood where he was coming from. I might be new to sex and fucking, and everything that entailed. But I wanted to fucking bite him. I wanted to eat him up and keep him inside me forever.

This was my chance. This was my chance to prove I wanted him as much as he evidently wanted me. Tentatively, I moved forward, and I grabbed a fistful of his tank. Lifting up on my tiptoes, I pressed a kiss to his jaw, letting my teeth scrape his skin. Nibbling my way to his ear, I bite the lobe, stopping to rest my mouth against the shell. "I figured out what I want to call you, Edward."

"Yeah?" His voice was raspy, and I trembled as his mouth brushed my shoulder. "What would that be, princess?"

I delved beneath his tank, petting the soft hair covering his abs before slipping up further until my finger feathered across his nipple. I licked his ear, loving the way his rugged breath kicked up a notch. "I want to call you, Edward," I stated simply.

His face nuzzled the side of my neck, and his breath slipped over my bare skin. He paused as he mumbled, "I don't get it, princess."

I expected that. I expected him not to understand. A tear escaped and slid down my cheek even as I continued to press kissed down his neck. Coming to the pulse beating rapidly, I sucked the flesh hard, my chest constricting when he growled. I left my mark, a purplish spot forming on his neck. "You mean so much to me. I don't ever want to confuse who I fell for by tarnishing it with a pet name. You're every-fucking-thing. Edward." My breath shuddered down his throat as emotion gripped me. "I want you. I want to keep you. I want this Edward," I emphasized by digging my nails into his chest. "There will never be a name more important to me than that."

His whole body shook. I had to step back to gauge his reaction, and the sight plowed right into my heart. I would never forget the raw need on his face–as long as I lived–the memory would be etched into my mind. I saw the exact moment when his control snapped–one, two, three strings snapped–one by one, and he practically leapt across the space separating us.

One hand cupped the back of my head, and the other clamped around my throat, dragging me to him. His body slammed into mine and his mouth crashed against my lips. Pressure from his thumb on my chin opened my mouth to the invasion of his tongue as he probed and conquered my lips. Electrified I returned his kiss, biting his lips, and sucking his tongue deep. His fist knotted in my hair, pleasure mixing with pain, and my whimper was smothered by his kiss. Ripping at the tank top covering his chest, I heard the fabric tear, grunting with mild satisfaction as it gave way. "You taste so good … fuck."

Edward shoved the flimsy material of the sheer robe off my shoulders, and it pooled at my feet. His caress was hard, his fingers digging into my arms, neck, and breasts–sure to leave marks in their wake, but I didn't care. The cups of my beautiful bra were shredded, hanging haphazardly from my chest, leaving my tits on full display. His teeth clamped down on the pebbled tip of my nipple, and I cried out, gasping and in total shock at his aggression, but not at all unpleased.

I was going to have sex.

Tonight.

I unleashed a beast, and I wasn't fucking sorry.

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