Levi Has A Pet
Summary: Levi has a pet, an unusual one, but it's a pet and he likes it with all of his dark little heart. It's small, undemanding and, most of all, clean. But it's a blast from the past and when word gets out, everyone wants it. Levi has to make sure his unique pet remains his and free. Eren, already done with this BS 2000 years ago, gets dragged into it. He's not complaining, despite his complaining.
Eren had done his best to brace himself for the impact against water the second he fell out that window along with Kruger, Tybur and a bunch of crap that had littered the cabin. Using his swimming and diving experience, Eren had angled his body so that his feet took all the impact, then as soon as he was safely submerged up to the hips, he bent his knees to stop himself from diving too deep. It wouldn't be easy to swim up to the surface with his hands tied, but when he'd knocked into Kruger on his way out the damned window, he'd managed to at least snatch a knife off of him. Bless Levi-heichou for teaching his squad how to pickpocket just in case they were ever captured and needed to steal the keys off of their guards. It was far from his finest work, as Kruger had no doubt felt it, but Kruger had probably also been a bit too distracted trying not to die to bother worrying about Jaeger swiping a knife off of him.
Eren didn't waste any time to set his hands free with his stolen knife and then he was swimming towards the surface. The water wasn't exactly pleasant and he could already feel his bare upper half starting to tremble. Getting the suit properly on now would be ridiculous, but if he has the time, he'll do it.
All such thoughts immediately left his brain as, upon breaking the surface of the water, Eren saw the helicopter he'd just fallen out of slam into the ocean. And, judging by the screeching he could hear even five meters away even over all the crashing of waves and the gunfights still going on back on the ship, with Levi and the Hallucigenia still inside.
"LEVI!" He called, even as the aircraft already started sinking. Not sparing anything else a thought, Eren started swimming towards it but by the time he was even close, the hunk of metal was already fully submerged. As Eren dived to helplessly go after it, he saw it flip, belly up, and start sinking at an alarming rate. He'd a documentary once about the differences in sinking aircrafts and while a plane could stay afloat for several hours upon impacting water, depending on the angle it fell and the state of the remains, a helicopter sinks instantly and because it was top-heavy due to the propellers, it flips upside down, making it even harder to escape as you lose a sense of direction.
He doesn't doubt someone like Levi could escape even with scrambled orientation, but the fact that he couldn't see anything leaving the helicopter and going towards the surface besides some air bubbles, he could only guess that Levi had been knocked out upon impact. That's the only explanation that makes sense. (Because no, the possibility of something far worse happening is unacceptable and he wouldn't even entertain it.)
That also means that he's trapped inside that cabin, cuffed to the helicopter's interior and slowly drowning.
Eren resurfaced with a gasp and frantically searched the surface of the turbulent ocean for the gear Kruger had taken off of Levi. It was designed to float, was designed not to be heavy and drag a Scout down in any situation, even under water. Eren knows he can't swim fast enough to reach the helicopter thanks to his muscles alone. He'd lose his breath long before he could reach it, but the anchors of the 3DM gear work underwater, too. Fire like harpoons, maybe even faster, and they can reel him in as long as he manages to get in range and aim for the helicopter.
After what feels like an eternity of searching but may have been only a short fifteen to twenty seconds, Eren lets out a relieved cry when he finds the gear floating not far from him, the waves and currents uselessly trying to drag it down but it is as persistent as the Scouts who had relied on it for a century to fight Titans. Eren reaches it in two swings of his arms and doesn't even bother trying to put it on. He just grabs the gas canisters and propels them at the right angle before taking the handles and pressing the triggers as he dives. The released pressurized gas makes him race quickly into the deep, even with water trying to slow him down. But the helicopter was already down deep enough that Eren couldn't see it well with so little light and no appropriate goggles helping him see in the salty water.
But there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak.
And he means a light quite literally.
A familiar one, at that.
The Hallucigenia.
Eren didn't waste a second to aim for the source of that light. Or, well, rather, he aimed at the darkness in between the glowing water, since the Hallucigenia's luminescence was coming out of the cabin's windows. He couldn't hear it when the grappler collided with the helicopter, but the line immediately tensed, allowing him to know that he was safely hooked. A simple tug on a trigger had him careening through the water again. Thankfully, as he came closer to the light, he was able to make out the helicopter even in this darkness, which allowed him to avoid actually slamming into the helicopter's belly. The last thing he needed was to knock his own air out of his lungs. He made sure he was indeed properly secured, tied to the helicopter, before he began searching around for the broken windows. He winced when he cut his hand on some of the leftover broken glass still stuck in the frame but he ignored it and just hoped sharks didn't frequent these waters too much.
He made quick work of maneuvering himself inside, guided by the Hallucigenia's light. He'd never realized it was that bright before. Well, then again, he'd never been in such darkness with it before as at these depths. He needs to work fast. He can hold his breath for a considerable while, due to his diving training and since he hadn't used up too much oxygen in his muscles by moving around because he'd relied on the maneuver gear to move him, but the helicopter was sinking fast and with every five to ten meters of depth, the pressure pressing down on them was slowly diminishing his air supply as it shrinks in his lungs. He doesn't want to think about what that might mean for Levi, who was knocked out and essentially drowning. He may be an Ackerman, but even he can go only so long without air and especially in this cold.
He found him exactly where he'd last seen him, handcuffed to that stupid pipe running just behind the seats. The Hallucigenia's container was floating right beside him, the two still connected by the other pair of handcuffs. The ethereal glow of the frantic-looking Hallucigenia made Levi look way too pale, eerie almost, like some mythical creature of the deep that, somehow, also did not belong there. But Eren could make out that his lips seemed to be turning blue and that was his greatest concern.
He needed to get them both out of there, yesterday.
He swam over to his former superior officer and tried pushing his hand through the cuff, only to realize it was some new bullshit design meant to prevent escape even by dislocating fingers and joints. Fuck paranoid intelligence agency fuckers. He briefly looked around to see if Kruger or Tybur had accidentally dropped the keys somewhere, but even if they had, they were probably already washed out by the water and were sinking at a much slower pace than the aircraft. Giving up on Levi's end of things, he turned his attention to the pipe he was tied down to. He was unhappy to find it was still intact and seemed in pretty good shape. Fuck. Damn. Shit! Tugging at the cuff tied around it experimentally revealed that it was quite sturdy but it sounded hollow, which means Eren might be able to break it if he tugs hard enough. He wished Levi was awake right now, because all that Ackerman strength would absolutely obliterate one measly pipe.
So he got to tugging, only to realize he himself was by now too tired and in desperate need of air to really do anything. Helplessness and rage filled him in seconds and he furiously tried again and again. He was not going to let Levi die down here! Levi, who has yet to find true peace in this life, who has yet to see the good in this world, instead of being stuck chased down by the bad and the corrupt. Levi, who had a family waiting for him.
Levi, who Eren still needs to take out on a date, woo him, be his boyfriend or, hell, if it meant he'll be alive and well, Eren would rather settle on just being friends or maybe even never seeing Levi again, as long as Levi survived and got the chance to be happy! No matter how much Eren wants to just drown him in kisses and affection. Eldians all share some sort of connection through the Coordinate. They'll meet again, in the afterlife if not in life, and Eren can do all that then. He can wait. But he refuses to let Levi be the one waiting.
He refuses for Levi to be the first of his loved ones to die in this new day and age, where there are no Titans to fight, no Walls to limit their horizons and no enemies eager to eradicate them beyond it.
But the more he thugs, even as rage gives him strength and determination forbids him from giving up, he recognizes that he won't succeed in freeing Levi, in saving him. And the despair sets in before he can stop it but he keeps tugging ...
Until a sharp sound pierces his ears, drawing his attention to none other than the Hallucigenia.
It honestly looks nothing like in the memories he'd seen from Ymir, inside that container, watching him with those strange purple eyes. The Hallucigenia had approached Ymir as a much larger creature, but it had glowed just like this back then, had observed her in a similar manner.
The Hallucigenia was a creature which preferred life rather than death, a creature that had sought to preserve it, even if it was in the most perverse fashion humanity had ever seen. But it wasn't human; it just did what it found to be right. And it seemed to want to do it again. Or perhaps, for once, all it wanted was just .. simple, selfish freedom.
Eren knew there was no saving them now.
He felt like he had next to no air in his lungs and he knew it was now just a matter of time before his body demanded he take in a breath that will only kill him. Levi wasn't waking up - in fact, in the light provided by the most ancient of the three inhabiting the sinking aircraft, Eren could see a rather large cloud of what seemed to be blood polluting the water, so chances of Levi waking up and saving them were practically zero - and the Hallucigenia couldn't do anything while it's trapped. In fact, if Eren and Levi die now and this helicopter sinks to the bottom, the Hallucigenia will most likely remain trapped and die of hunger or its own shit after the filters stop working at some point. Eren doesn't know if the glass of the container was made to withstand the enormous pressure down in Challenger Deep, but on the off chance that it was ...
He reached out in a trance and made the familiar motions of opening up the container. Or, well, just the feeding latch. Levi had never shown any of them how to open the whole thing up. Chances were, not even he knows, since he'd stolen it from some Frenchman. The new opening was too small for the Hallucigenia to get through because of the spikes on its back, it seems. Eren frowned in annoyance and took the container in both hands. At this point, he had no idea what he was even doing. His fingers were all but mutilated as he destroyed his hands to somehow widen the hole.
He has no idea how, but he managed it and the Hallucigenia sprang out of the container, free to roam the open seas and oceans for the first time in a decade and more. It hovered in front of them, in front of Eren and Levi, and Eren had no idea what it wanted.
It was free now.
It was safe.
Ultimately, Levi's mission to keep the Hallucigenia out of humanity's hands was a success. And, once again, he had dedicated his heart to the deadly cause. And Eren had followed, like he once used to, fearlessly and doubtlessly, sticking as close to his former Heichou as was possible.
They had done it.
The secret of Eldians will remain hidden, the core of them all will be safe, meaning they will be safe.
They had prevented and destroyed all threats of a new Titan age, even if it had cost them their lives.
As he turned his back to the Hallucigenia so he could wrap himself around Levi in their last moments on this Earth, he just wished he could have done more to save Levi from such a lonely, cold death.
Then something attached itself to his back just as he was on the edges of losing consciousness himself and the surprising contact made him gasp in surprise.
His blood burned, his nerves were on fire.
Then, a familiar power coursed through him and it was habit and instinct and who knows what else that guided him.
00000
On the surface, as a commotion was created over the downed helicopter which had supposedly been transporting the precious cargo and as different groups were on the verge of going into a mini war with each other, a beam of yellow lightning suddenly descended from the sky and struck the ocean, sinking in. Kruger and Tybur, who were still in the water about to be rescued, panicked, believing they will be electrocuted to death, only for nothing to happen.
The scientists and all the different agents present stopped what they were doing to stare in confusion at the spot where the unusual lightning had struck.
The Eldians present who had their memories had frozen up for a completely different reason and they didn't know if they should shout in victory or tremble in fear.
Then, the snores on every ship and boat and even the instruments in the helicopters in the air went wild, showing readings completely off the charts, alerting to the proximity of a large something approaching from the depths. Kruger and Tybur scrambled to get out of the water as the thing rose with frightening speed. Their comrades got them out just as a huge head emerged from the ocean.
If this were a movie or an anime, dramatic music would be playing in the background as more of the body showed itself. It got to about what may have been shoulders or something before it seemed to correct its balance, trying to stay upright on the sea bed far, far too many meters below. If one were to go to the edges of the Trench right now, the shallowest parts, they'd see that the creature was standing on its toes to make the distance. The long brown hair of the creature floated around it in the water like borders of a danger zone as it finally found its footing and stood still.
The humans couldn't do more than gap at this creature, with its huge, sunken eyes, pointy, elfin ears, prominent cheekbones and huge mouth that displayed two rows of teeth in its jaw, no lips in sight. There was an ugly snapping-like sound and the creature seemed to grow, more vertebra adding themselves in its spine so it can stand on solid feet, growing bigger and bigger until it fairly towered over the ships and even the aircrafts when its arms were above water.
Those more educated or just informed about what was going on recognized that the creature looked a lot like how the Hallucigenia is built. The rest only saw a weird skeletal-like monster, especially when it released an earsplitting roar that had them all covering their ears and scrambling on their asses to get away from the looming giant.
Connie started laughing maniacally, frantically, hysterically.
Hange followed not a second later, though for completely different reasons.
Zeke looked like he was questioning his life choices while Armin and Mikasa wondered what the hell had happened for this to take place.
Moblit and Kenny didn't really know what to do in this situation, but they had people to stay for, so they stayed and weathered the weirdness.
The rest were trying to run for their lives, convinced they had awakened some monster from the deep that will now devour them all.
Once the roar died down, the creature's mouth remained open and Hange had to be restrained by Moblit from using her gear to go up there and investigate the resurrected Founding Titan's mouth. A moment later, the Titan's body seemed to sag, not unlike a puppet whose strings were cut, and it fell over into the water. The body slowly started steaming as it disintegrated and started to sink.
From the open mouth emerged Eren with a barely conscious Levi in his arms, coughing up surely unhealthy amounts of water from his lungs, looking pale and frail in a way not even his injuries after the Rumbling had made him seem, but he was breathing and he didn't appear drenched in cold water anymore. He had probably been dried out and warmed up inside of Eren's Titan as they escaped the depths that had nearly claimed them both.
"Eren! Levi!" Hange called out, waving her arms maniacally to draw the two's attention. Levi was still coughing too much to answer so Eren did it for the both of them.
"We need a lift, Hange!"
"You got it, Eren!" Armin yelled before Hange could demand answers that could be given at a later date. Mikasa and Caven were already getting a lifeboat lowered into the turbulent waters though Caven did not dare go down with her to go over to the floating, steaming, decomposing, giant head, the only part of the Titan still above water. When she got as close as she dared due to the heat coming off of the decomposing Titan body, Eren carefully handed Levi down to his once adopted sister before jumping into the water himself and climbing onto the boat instead of carefully maneuvering and calculating a less wet entrance.
"What happened?" Mikasa demanded as soon as he had both feet on the boat, but Eren waved her off to face the head of his own Titan.
He nodded in respect to it and everyone freaked the fuck out when the Titan blinked back, the only movement it can make on its own. "Thank you, for saving us."
"Eren?"
He continued ignoring the Azumabito heiress. "You're free now. This body should let you sink to the Challenger Deep, where no one will ever bother you again and make you fight wars you have no business fighting."
"You can rest now," Levi managed to say when his coughing lessened. "You fucking deserve it." The Titan let out a sound that resembled a croon of sorts, blinking at Levi slowly, almost as if it were sad. "You were a little shit of a pet but still the best pet I've ever had. Thank you, for everything." He nodded his head to it in respect. "We'll be fine, now."
"We'll take care of everything up here," promised Eren.
The creature stared at them for one last moment that seemed to last an eternity and a second before the head started submerging at a far faster pace than it had before. It wasn't even ten seconds later before it was fully submerged and another minute or so after that, not even the shadows of its shape could be made out in the water. Mikasa and Eren held onto Levi as the submergence rocked the lifeboat but as soon as the currents and waves of the ocean returned to normal, Mikasa turned the lifeboat around and guided them back to the ship. She seems to understand what had just transpired, even without an explanation.
Which was good, because neither Levi nor Eren were in the mood to talk. They just slumped together under a shock blanket and let Mikasa get them back to the ship.
As soon as they got onboard, they were assaulted by their friends and Kenny. Well, Kenny only really gave a crap about Levi since Kuchel would kill him if he didn't return her son to her alive and in one piece, but the rest were all worried sick over both young men. No one commented on why Eren was prancing around half naked nor what the two were even doing on that helicopter to begin with and those in the know did their best to skirt around the topic of what had just happened around the ears of those not meant to hear about it. Levi and Eren were too tired from the whole ordeal to resist the fussing so they just let them do it until they got it out of their system. They were content to just let it be ... Until the intelligence agencies swarmed them, that is.
As if by instinct, everyone moved to protect Eren and Levi with their bodies, whether they were armed or not. Eren even shoved Levi behind him because, for once, Levi was the most vulnerable one present after nearly drowning just a few minutes before. Drowning takes out a lot of energy from a human, even an Ackerman, after all.
"You can relax, we mean you no harm," Erwin Smith was the first one to say, pushing his way past the MI6's rows of agents with a congenial smile meant to relax anyone who saw it. It would have probably worked for just about anyone besides the people who knew him in their past life to wear that same exact smile as he encouraged soldiers to sacrifice their hearts and lives for the sake of humanity.
"Then why have you spent the last couple of months chasing after Levi, even after he left your country?" Asked Hange in a challenging tone, eyes narrowed despite being delighted to see a once comrade and friend. Erwin was currently standing opposite them as an enemy and none of them were about to let the blond, or anyone else, for that matter, take Levi away, even if he hadn't nearly drowned just then.
"Ma'am, I'm aware you must be confused by what is going on-"
"Shut the fuck up, Smith," Tybur snapped as he dared to come to stand in front of the reincarnated Eldians, eyes narrowed in suspicion and fear. "They know exactly what's going on. The beardo with the glasses is from the CIA."
Zeke gave them an offended-looking glare. "You were basically hunting a USA citizen for no good reason for who knows how long, Herr Tybur, and now it seems you were ready to kidnap a Spanish citizen as well. I expected more from you, at least, Herr Kruger."
"You've been chasing him, too," accused a Russian sounding woman firmly standing behind her men, unwilling to open herself up to needless danger this group presented.
"And it's not for no good reason," the French officer said sternly, glaring at Levi as she shouldered beyond her own men, too, even if some of them moved anti-riot shields in front of her to protect her. "The creature this mere boy has been keeping as a pet holds the potential to change the course of human history and-"
"And that doesn't give you a good enough reason to chase a mere teenager halfway across the world and try to take him to secret facilities where you would either interrogate or experiment on him," cut in Mikasa, who was still standing the closest to her once cousin and adopted brother, protective and fierce.
"Not to mention that he was a minor when you started," pointed out Armin, crossing his arms in a show of confidence and defiance rarely seen in this sassy form. "Or should we talk about countless international laws you've broken during this chase as you illegally crossed borders to chase a person who should have never had to flee like a fugitive?"
"The actions of MI6-"
"And other such agencies," cut in Kruger indelicately, making Erwin's huge eyebrow twitch.
"-is not for civilians to concern themselves with-"
"Bullshit," both Eren and Levi intoned, drawing everyone's attention back to them.
"And considering what we've just discovered that creature to be capable of, I think we were all right to chase after the boy. Why did he run, anyways? He could have just handed over the creature-"
"Bitch please," Connie interrupted this time, sarcastic and sassy as you can be. "Hate to be the Karen here, but what about his institutional rights?"
"Or UNESCO protection laws that declare this area a world heritage treasure?" Added Hange, still glaring.
"You'll be hearing from our family's lawyers, you bunch of dicks," Kenny added a bit unhelpfully, especially when everyone started trying to speak over each other. Levi just sighed as he leaned against Eren, who looked more annoyed than exasperated by the second, but they both perked up when they heard a certain familiar voice speak up just beyond the crowd.
"And here we are, going live, on the research ship studying the Mariana Trench as a part of an international scientific expedition, where several intelligence agencies from all around the world have endangered over two hundred scientists and ship crew while illegally chasing a nineteen year old teenager in secret just because he was unknowingly in the possession of a thought-to-be-extinct species as a pet. This illegal pursuit, as this reporter has learned from the pet owner himself, has been going on for two years and he has been all but chased out of his home and his country by both government and non-government-approved agencies and individuals. Now here we are, where the owner has wanted to release his pet into a safe environment most similar to what we can perceive it to its original habitat with the help of several international experts, only for two people to almost drown when a gun fight broke out onboard the ship itself. It was by pure luck, a downright miracle, that both people - one of whom is the pet owner and the other a young man specializing in marinology - survived in these turbulent waters-"
"Ma'am-" someone tried to interrupt none other than Ilse Langnar but the freckled reporter did not give a single fuck and just talked over them all. When some Chinese agent tried to take her phone away - with which she was filming, if not downright streaming everything, as seemed to be the case if her words were anything to go by - she flipped it all, leaving the group quite impressed.
"And now they are attempting to silence a reporter doing her job and investigating and reporting about their shady business in international waters-"
"Ma'am, please," Erwin tried, but Ilse was not a woman to be silenced.
"These people have been ruining a young man's life for the sake of their own shady goals and have kept this from public knowledge to the point that the boy's own mother doesn't even know if he is still alive-"
Levi leaned in to Eren to whisper to him. "Were you the one who told her all that pathetic shit?"
Green eyes glimmered with pride and savage glee as they watched Langnar tear all these organizations a new one. Levi did not doubt this ship had good internet signal, considering these scientists need all sorts of sources for their work and taking physical copies would eventually drown the ship. Besides, some of their equipment surely needed it. Every word was getting out and across. These people were all but ruined, especially when Ilse moved to film their faces. Oh, this was going to be glorious. "It's only the truth, love."
"Aren't you moving a little too fast right now, brat?" Levi asked and was glad he was shivering to his bones because it prevented an embarrassing blush.
"Nah. Two thousand years is a long enough of a wait, don't you think?" The brunet said in a teasing tone even as he boldly dared to place a kiss on Levi's temple. He lingered there, squeezing Levi tighter against him. "Never scare me like that again."
"Yeah?" Levi asked, feeling his whole being soften at the desperation and fear he could hear in the taller male's voice. "Consider it payback for all the shit you pulled me through last time around, because I lived through what you just did every single time."
"That's not fair, though."
"Tough shit."
Eren actually smiled against Levi's skin for that. "Okay, I guess it is fair. So do we agree to no longer pull such shit on each other ever again?"
"Yeah, agreed. I don't need any more grief."
Eren sobered up at that as though they were thrown into the cold ocean again. "I thought the Hallucigenia annoyed you. I honestly never thought you might miss it."
"It was still my pet and companion for a great number of years," the shorter man pointed out. "I took care of it, I put my life on hold for it, I left my sick mother and struggling uncle behind for it. I came to rely on it as my one last piece of familiarity as I changed everything about my life. And it clearly cared for me in its own way, or else I'd be long dead by now." He paused, considering. "I wonder if it took away my powers, too, when it left."
"I guess we can find that out when we're somewhere safe and our autonomy isn't put in question just because we have supernatural abilities. Though I do believe that for me, it was a one-time thing."
"Well, thank fuck for that, at least."
"Yeah. I really don't want to be the new Ymir," Eren said with a grimace that Levi could agree to all too wholeheartedly. "Hey, is Ilse coming towards us?"
"Shit, she is! I don't want my face to be splattered across every tabloid cover tomorrow," Levi grumbled as he tugged the shock blanket over his head like a cloak's hood to hide his face. Eren, though, shrugged the blanket off completely and strode forwards to meet Ilse before she reached the smaller male. "Eren, what the hell are you doing?" Hissed the Ackerman, but Jaeger did not answer as Ilse already got up in his face.
"Mr Jaeger, you were one of the people who nearly drowned just a few minutes ago; can you tell us how all of this happened? The world deserves to know the truth!" There was a pause. "Why are you half naked?"
"Well, you see, after we patched up the injured scientists that the BND spies left behind before the gunfight started, my friend was holding off more agents while I was changing into diving gear and preparing it for an emergency dive to get his pet to a safe place, you know? But I was interrupted and wasn't allowed to even either get fully dressed in the diving suit or change back into my clothes," Eren explained while running a hand through his wet, messy hair in a far too seductive way, causing droplets of water to start cascading down his almost dry body all over again. It would be quite distracting for anyone watching. And a lot of people were watching, live and over their screens. "The BND officers then arrested both my friend and I without any warrant nor good reason, especially in my case, since one of the officers revealed he was doing it as a favor to my manipulative father who had kept me and my mother as a side-family when he gets bored of his first wife and son. You may know him? Grisha Jaeger."
"Is he trying to sink them all in one fell swoop?" Kenny asked as he came to stand by his nephew, keeping an eye out for anyone trying anything funny with the teen. "And is he flirting with the camera?"
"I wouldn't be surprised," Levi answered, knowing Eren can be quite manipulative and vindictive when he wants to be.
"Also yes, he definitely is," Armin, who was nearby, answered. "Eren is used to it. Our bosses at the Barcelona aquarium do this all the time when visitors have complaints or we have to do an interview with some news station, especially those critical towards us; they just send Eren out without a shirt on after he's swam with dolphins or something and let people be distracted by his abs and pectorals and pretty eyes. It's the easiest form of PR and Eren is quite manipulative when he wants to be."
"Do you think this is how he recruited Jaegerists?" Levi couldn't help but comment to Armin and they both paused to ponder on it because neither of them would be surprised. "Well, shit."
"I almost feel bad for Grisha," Mikasa stated as she joined them.
"I don't!" Kenny all but chirped and that sounded a bit disturbing to those who still had their memories. You don't expect a man like Kenny the Ripper to ever make that tone unless he's about to kill off a good portion of your allies. "That Fritz bitch will be implicated if her husband's revealed to be a douchebag, or at least she'll receive bad enough publicity that Rod might have to drop her unless he wants the company's stocks to drop too low, which is great news for my beloved Uri!"
"Fascinating," Zeke commented dryly, but didn't dare counter Kenny in any way even if it had to do with his mother's future being at stake.
"Is he shitting on every intelligence and secret service agency he can name?" Connie asked, both impressed and incredulous by Eren's sheer ballsiness.
"He's very protective of Levi," Armin said by way of explanation and Levi actually did manage to blush now. And though that was a sign of him not being too bad off from his near drowning experience, he still didn't appreciate the redness of his cheeks when his uncle started teasing him.
"I just hope I don't lose my job," the older Jaeger present muttered but everyone ignored him and tuned in to the story Eren was spinning.
"-and really, this day is a tragedy. The stress of the situation, all those explosions and then the helicopter fall, it ended the life of the oldest animal specimen to still be walking the Earth. The Hallucigenia is a species we all believed to have died out during the Cambrian era, yet one specimen had remained alive to this day and had remained so under the careful care of my friend, but after he's been chased out of his own home and forced to flee across the globe to find supporters and allies, the Hallucigenia's health started to decline. By the time we got here, the Hallucigenia had already been displaying a weakness and sickness in its actions that hadn't been present before, during the ten years my friend has been its caretaker. We have believed it to be on its last ropes and my friend wanted to consult with experts whether a new environment would help stabilize its condition. We, as in my college Armin Arlert and the brilliant Hange Zoe, have determined that the Mariana Trench's Challenger Deep might be the only place on Earth where the Hallucigenia would experience an ecosystem the closest to the original one its species lived in, so we all decided to coordinate with the scientists already here on expedition. Except ... Well, you saw what happened. In all that commotion, unfortunately, the Hallucigenia died. It barely lived long enough to illuminate the helicopter cabin while I was dragging me and my friend out of it before its glow was forever lost. The oldest creature to live on this Earth has just been exterminated by human hands. Humanity, indeed, is the biggest pest this planet has ever faced. I cannot believe that a handful of people's greed had ended such a precious life. And not just for the things we could have learned from it, but also for the grief my friend is going through right now. Hell, all of our friends are grieving. The Hallucigenia had had such character. I- I'm sorry, I need a moment."
"Someone give that man an Oscar," Moblit commented as he and Hange finally also stopped glaring Erwin, Kruger and Tybur into submission now that Ilse was doing all the work for them with the help of one all too eager-for-revenge Eren Jaeger. "If I didn't know the truth, I'd be eating it all up right now."
"There's no way anyone will come for Levi after all of this is over," Hange said with glee as she watched Eren tear the whole world a new one as he criticized governments and borders and economy and anything else he wanted while he was on a roll. After all, hell hath no fury like Eren Jaeger scorned.
"So that means that you can't miss my wedding this time, Levi-heichou," Mikasa said teasingly and Levi looked at her, really looked, before his eyes softened and he gifted her a smile.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."
Mikasa actually beamed.