11. Two by Two, Hands of Blue
If at first you don't succeed, cheat.
~

I looked out at the interior of Cage 4, and reflected on the term 'lying by omission'. Neither Shinji nor Misato had been informed that I was re-testing in Unit 00, and I had been forbidden by Dr Akagi from telling them myself, because they would certainly protest. Lt Ibuki, although clearly uneasy, advised me to think of it as saving them from unnecessary worry – indeed, since there would be no danger from sabotage this time, their reflexive anxiety would not be fully justified.

Nevertheless, I felt guilty for even passively deceiving Shinji (yet again) – and after my recent conversation with Misato about letting my friends worry for me, for deceiving her as well.

# Data link-up to Eva Unit 00 is nominal. #

# List clear to 940 … 960 … 980 … 1000. Baseline operation confirmed. #

# Initiating first-level interface on my mark … ready … mark. #

The world lit up; inside the entry plug, sizzling patterns of light chased each other across my vision. A sound-feel like the humming of cicadas pulsed in my ears and mind.

- ah! you-intruder! -

I ducked her immediate, reflexive swing at my head. - Hello, Rei. I apologise for imposing once again. -

The soul-projection grabbed at me with one hand, the other clutching her head; I caught both in my own and focused on projecting gentleness.

- Rei, I will not hurt you or force you. Remember? I promised I would be kind. -

- you said i would be safe. but then…! the that-there-ouch! when you said – you said... -

- I am sorry for what happened, but it is gone now – you are safe, and I will do my best to keep you safe. Will you allow me to be here with you? -

She glared at me and shoved at my shoulder, but the motion was devoid of real force – more a nudge. The visceral fear that had fuelled her rejection of me was fading.

- i … i will … you will be kind? -

- I will be kind – you have my word. -

Finally she blinked, and the tension slowly left her grip. - safe. kind. intruder … agreeable. -

As she relaxed, and we began to synchronise (I had withheld until she accepted me), the dream-vision faded and I was returned to the cage.

# Lower the reciprocal conversion rate by .75, # Dr Akagi was directing.

# Kaworu, report! Can you hear me? #

"Yes, Lt Hyuga. I hear you." I blinked several times to erase the grogginess from linking consciousness with Unit 00.

# Condition yellow, # reported Lt Aoba. # Psycho-graph stabilising. #

# Kaworu, what's your status? # Ibuki asked.

"Fine. Everything went blurry for a little – were you calling me? I did not hear..."

# You were in the grey zone, # she informed me. # Nothing like last time, but not ideal. #

# It's okay now, # said Aoba. # Condition green. #

# All indicators are nominal, # added Hyuga, both to his colleagues and to me.

# A-10 neural synapses operating within tolerable limits. #

# First contact all clear. #

# Roger, # said Akagi. # Proceed to phase 2. #

The test continued, and the connection with Unit 00 settled into a subtle presence at the back of my mind. My injuries from the previous test faded as my physical awareness was augmented by the artificial being. We passed the absolute borderline with no problems, and with that success established the Fifth Child as a viable backup pilot for Evangelion Unit 00, and primary candidate for Unit 09, newly arrived in Japan.

What the Sub-Commander and her lieutenants did not mention, but I had gathered from conversation snippets and a certain amount of spying, was that, given my compatibility with multiple units, the potential existed for the creation of dummy plugs based on my data.

I wondered how long it would take before my role in the mass-produced Evangelions would be discovered by the rest of my Tokyo-3 colleagues. The dummy cores were designated 'Mass', and this label was written on the side of each entry plug; unless one was opened and the clone inside was exposed, my aspect would not be apparent. However, if the dummy's synch data and my own were compared, anyone could notice the match. I found myself hoping Tokyo-3 would not be given Unit 09 – I had no idea how to explain myself.

"Not good enough," I muttered to myself. It was not sufficient to wish for a certain scenario; I had to make contingency plans in case the worst occurred. Even in my position of limited influence, there might be something I could do to protect myself if Unit 09 came here. Perhaps I could enlist Kaji's help, or find some way of altering my data or that of the clone...

An alarm cut off my mediation.

# Incoming object! Approaching at high speed from directly above us! #

# How far away is it? #

# Less than twenty kilometres. Estimated arrival in Tokyo-3, four minutes! #

# Can you identify it? # snapped Akagi. # Is it an Eva? –An Angel? #

# It's too far out for analysis – we don't know. #

# But it's almost certainly an enemy. #

# Go to first-stage alert! # Akagi ordered. # Call in the rest of the pilots. Get the Commander and Major Katsuragi up here, absolute priority! #

# Section Two tracking puts Rei and Shinji at school, # said Hyuga. # Contacting them now. #

Akagi made a frustrated sound. # There's no time to wait – Prepare to roll out Unit 00, with the Fifth Child as pilot! #

"I was afraid of that," I said to myself, but obediently unlocked the combat operational systems. The cage restraints were released, and I began to move Unit 00 manually to the launch pad.

# Shinji and Rei have been alerted and are on their way, # reported Hyuga.

# Prepare Unit 01 for immediate scramble, # directed Akagi. # Team two, reconfigure Unit 02's core for Rei, on the double! #

# Will that even work? We haven't tested their compatibility, # said Ibuki.

# The probability is less than eleven percent, but we have to try, # Dr Akagi said firmly.

Aoba broke in. # The incoming object has left the stratosphere – ten kilometres and falling. High energy readings from the target. #

# Is Unit 00 on the launch pad? #

"Ready to go on track four," I confirmed.

# Launch! #

We shot upwards, the g-forces rattling me down to the bones. The track passed a passenger train on the access rail and I wondered if Shinji and Rei were aboard. Then suddenly I was above ground, empty buildings retreating into the earth around me, and I discovered the incoming object was so close I could see it with only a slight magnification.

"Oh, dear."

# Kaworu, report! #

"They have an earthquake bomb."

# A bunker-buster? #

# They? #

But they were upon me, two Evangelions harnessed together, the munition extended downward. Desperately I expanded Unit 00's AT field to maximum, but barely managed to soften their plunge.

They hit the ground.

Everything went white; the earth rocked, and I felt the force of the impact like hitting a wall. I tried to dive and curl up to protect myself, but lost my footing, and suddenly – impossibly – was falling almost straight down.

Within a few seconds – but it felt much longer – outside visuals returned. I was plummeting through a massive crack in the ground, colliding with and scraping off the sheer cliff without hoping of finding grip. Then space opened up around me, and I was in freefall through the Geofront. Below me, the enemy Evangelion units dived towards the pyramid of NERV headquarters.

# The other Evas have broken through to the Geofront! #

# They went straight through all the armoured layers in one hit! #

# Evacuate all non-emergency personnel immediately! # Dr Akagi snapped.

Commander Fuyutsuki cut in, out of breath from rushing to the bridge. # Position Unit 01 on the floor of the Geofront for direct intercept. #

# Send the shotguns to M-17, # came Misato's voice. # Ready the Angel-intercept system. Kaworu, stat rep! #

"Falling but functional," I reported. "Retro-rockets online and prepared to ignite."

# Do anything you can to stop them reaching the command centre! #

"Roger." I drew Unit 00's gun and, after a struggle to steady my aim in mid-fall, fired at the other Evangelions. The first shot missed, the second glanced off an armour plating – but the third and fourth struck the harness binding them together. By luck more than any skill on my part, they hit exactly the right place to tear through, and the friction of their fall quickly stripped away the entire harness and threw the two Evangelions apart.

Separately, the enemy units – now identifiable as France's 12 and 13 – did not have the juggernaut force to break through to the main shaft of HQ, nor a second seismic warhead to carve their way. However, they still had tricks to play. As I reloaded my clip, there was a blur of white, and wings sprouted from their backs. Immediately their fall turned into gliding.

"That is hardly fair," I said absently, and fired at Unit 12.

But it swooped and wove aside, and my flightless Unit 00 plunged gracelessly past. I turned and shot again, still without success, but was too close to the ground to make another attempt. I ignited the retro-rockets to break my fall, slowing enough to land heavily – it took all my concentration just to keep my footing, and I noted how clunky and stiff Unit 00 was compared to Unit 02. I commended Rei for piloting it so consistently during their engagements.

Units 12 and 13 circled above NERV HQ as I secured my balance. I increased the magnification, and saw that Unit 12 carried in one hand a double-ended sword like that wielded by Unit 08. Aside from that, I could not be sure what weaponry they had, but presumably nothing capable of breaking through the pyramid. They would have to fight through the long way – through the Tokyo-3 Evangelions.

There was a rattling rumble from the ground before me, and a section of the hill slid aside to emit Unit 01. It stepped out and spread its AT field as it took a gleaming shotgun from the rack next to the terminus.

"Shinji, glad you could make it," I smiled.

# Sorry I'm late, # he said. # Are you okay? #

"I'm fine. No damage."

# Kaworu, there's a grenade launcher at M-17-B, # Misato said. # Retrieve and coordinate with Unit 01 to take down the enemy units. Projectile nets and trapdoor snares are on standby. #

"Roger. Will Rei be joining us?" I asked, as I directed Unit 00 across.

# She hasn't succeeded in synching with Unit 02 yet. We'll keep trying. #

"Understood. Grenade launcher secured." Facing again the flying Evangelions, I did not feel a great deal better for having heavy weaponry to hand.

# We need to get them on the ground, # said Shinji.

"And soon, before they take the initiative," I added. "They dodge very quickly, though."

# Kaworu, # said Misato, # herd one over to Unit 01 – Shinji, be ready to hit it, okay? #

"Roger," I said. "Unit 12 is circling clockwise – I'll fire to cut it off in front of us. It will probably dive, so Shinji, you aim below and just ahead of it. Here..." I quickly sent a coordinate overlay to his monitor of what I planned.

# Okay, got it. Ready when you are! #

"Here goes!"

I took aim and fired; as predicted, Unit 12 folded its wings and dove obliquely, dodging the relatively slow grenade. Shinji was ready, though, and the shotgun blast caught it full on one wing near the shoulder. It staggered in the air and began to fall.

But even as we lined up our second shots, Unit 13 swooped in. It caught the sword Unit 12 had dropped, then swept upward; at the top of the arc it hovered briefly, and hurled the sword directly at us.

Instinct took over: I wrenched Unit 00 sideways and shoved Unit 01 out of the way. The weapon slammed into my side – but the throw was not perfect, and instead of meeting the blade and being impaled the cutting edge only glanced across Unit 00's torso. The force behind it, though, was enough both to splinter the armour and knock me flying.

# Kaworu! # cried Shinji.

I forced Unit 00 into a curl, but could not roll upright – the Evangelion sprawled, and I had to wait for it to come to a stop before I could scramble to my feet. "I'm all right," I protested. "Just – uncoordinated. … Ouch." I winced; the sword had only inflicted shallow cuts, but they stung.

# Kaworu, watch out! # shouted Misato. # Incoming! #

I looked up to see Unit 13 stooping out of the sky, all four limbs extended like a monstrous hawk. I scrambled to grip and raise the grenade launcher for firing, but too slow to ready it before—

Suddenly I was hurled sideways again, as Shinji defended me in turn, and Unit 13 slammed his Eva to the ground with sickening force.

"Shinji!"

Frantic, I grabbed Unit 12's sword, but was halted from defending Shinji by the enemy Evangelion itself. It charged at me, injured wing dragging behind it but otherwise unimpeded – clearly it shared Unit 08's invulnerability to pain. I wished, as I hefted its weapon ready to strike, and the cuts on Unit 00's torso flared, that my current Evangelion was likewise insensitive.

Unit 12 gathered itself in a crouch, then leaped at my Evangelion's face. I sidestepped, and used the momentum to swing the sword in an upward arc directly at Unit 12's centre. It twisted in mid-air, but the blow nevertheless sideswiped it – the right arm and shoulder were completely severed. I staggered as the force of the impact was transmitted to me; the sword was heavy, and in my damaged and awkward Unit 00 it took me a moment to regain my balance.

By then Unit 12, its aborted leap ended in a crash to earth, had scrambled upright into a crouch; its remaining hand dug into the blood-bathed ground. The sickly mouth gaped like a rabid dog and its head lolled from side to side.

# Remember you have to disengage the entry plug, # Misato said. # Remove it if you can, but destroy it if you have to. #

"I know," I answered, but was wondering whether my clone in the other Evangelion felt fear or pain at all, or whether it just disregarded them. I knew full well – nobody better – that there was not a real person in there; it had no soul, no sentience or self-awareness. Nevertheless...

# What are you waiting for? Go! #

"Right!" Pushing the thought aside, I drove Unit 00 into a charge. I held the sword low and back, ready for a stabbing blow, and at the same time checked the releases on my progressive knife.

Unit 12 ducked and swayed, its feet and weight shifting as it backed up and prepared to dodge – I could not guess in which direction it might evade. When I reached it I planted Unit 00's feet and hurled the sword forwards and inwards, and with a blur of motion Unit 12 thrust out its uninjured wing – the blade sank into it, but the wing then contracted and trapped my weapon. I struggled to withdraw it, to no avail as Unit 12 dug in and dragged the sword, and 00's hands gripping it, down.

Not good, I thought, and tried to shove the other end of the sword at the enemy Evangelion's head. I had little leverage, though, and Unit 12 simply twisted away, and the weak blow glanced off its dorsal armour.

Suddenly it lashed out with its remaining arm and grabbed Unit 00's face. I recoiled reflexively, only just remembering to hold onto the sword with one hand as I scrabbled with the other at Unit 12's clutching fingers. I couldn't see, only feel as we struggled; the wild notion occurred to me that I was both trapped and trapper, clutched by face and by wing...

Then stunning pain lanced up my arm, as Unit 12 sank its teeth into Unit 00's wrist. I cried out and automatically released my grip on its hand – a mistake, as it immediately grabbed at my throat. But as the air was squeezed from my throat at least I could see when the enemy turned slightly, and half-presented its back to me.

Against every instinct I let go the sword, and as quick as thought could drive action drew my Evangelion's progressive knife. While Unit 12 flailed, trying to free its wing and maintain its choking grip on Unit 00's throat, with all my concentration I forced the fingers of my trapped hand to grip the biter's jaw, and dragged us together – as soon as I could reach I lashed out, and the progressive knife drove into Unit 12's back and hacked across the entry plug.

Crushed more than severed, the plug imploded – the escape rockets' futile firing added to the carnage – and the Evangelion collapsed so suddenly that it took Unit 00 with it. I gasped as the pressure on my windpipe suddenly eased; a wave of light-headed relief made me dizzy for a moment, and I sprawled on the ground by the side of my vanquished foe. I concentrated simply on breathing, and on stilling the shake of my limbs, until awareness came rushing back and I remembered–

"Shinji!"

Fatigued, in pain, I hauled Unit 00 upright over the corpse of our enemy and searched fearfully across the battlefield to see Evangelion Unit 01 on one knee, bleeding from a dozen wounds, cracks dizzying its armour, and defiantly gripping a broken-bladed progressive knife as it faced up to Unit 13. The enemy Evangelion circled above; its left leg hung mangled and useless below it, and it appeared Unit 01 had been dealing as much damage as it took. Heavy cables dangled from its form – the anti-Angel intercept system activated, but overmatched. As I watched, Unit 13 folded its wings and prepared to dive again.

Instinct overrode reason, and I released my 'glow' to protect him.

Or tried to – the psychic pressure I extended suddenly seemed to invert, and black suffocating weakness burst in my mind. The world tilted and went still for moment; when I came to Unit 00 was hunched over like an old man, only kept from collapsing by the way it was leaning on Unit 12.

"What just happened?" I muttered, and tried to collect myself. Hesitantly I tried again to exert my AT field, but again my consciousness threatened to implode – I drew back before it overwhelmed me, but it was a near thing, and the feeling of being crushed from the centre of my mind outward haunted me as though I would never be free of it. Perplexed and scared as I was, it took all my willpower to focus again on the battlefield.

I found the combatants some distance from where I had last seen them – Units 01 and 13 now grappled on the wall of the pyramid directly above NERV command centre. Shinji had his Evangelion's knee stamped against his enemy's wing, pinning it with all his weight, and his progressive knife impaled Unit 13's hand against the angled surface, but from their struggle I could tell he would not be able to hold the advantage long. I had to act quickly.

The shotgun was destroyed, the sword entangled in Unit 12's wings, but the grenade launcher still lay where I had dropped it earlier; I retrieved it and confirmed it as functional, then hurried to Shinji's side.

He was in trouble; Unit 13 had reversed their positions, and although lacking a leg had two wings to make up for it; one was braced against the pyramid wall, but the other beat repeatedly against Unit 01's head – not as strong as an arm, but more than enough to hurt and rattle.

"Shinji, hold it still!" I called.

# Right, # he grunted, and the pain and effort in his voice wrung at me.

I levelled the grenade launcher and – hoping I had not underestimated its strength – pressed the trigger, extending Unit 00's AT field horizontally as I did so to try and protect Shinji.

The grenade hit Unit 13 directly in the middle of its back, and a billow of flame erupted in the Geofront. The explosion threw me off my feet even at a distance; again I struggled to get Unit 00 upright, and looked anxiously across to the result.

Unit 13 was sprawled on its stomach; a crater had been dug into its back, its limbs crumpled and armour shattered. Beneath it Unit 01 was motionless.

"Shinji? Shinji!" I threw my Evangelion into a run.

# Shinji, can you hear me? # Misato called.

My heart seemed to stop beating for an age, before finally a thin voice came over the audio link.

# Kaworu … you're okay? #

"Shinji, are you all right?"

# I think so ... sorry for worrying you... #

"No, don't be." I had reached him, and heaved Unit 13 aside. Unit 01 was clearly not operational; I turned it over and ejected the entry plug. The roof slid aside, showing Shinji hunched up on the seat, arms cradled across his chest. I extended Unit 00's access cable down to him.

"Can you use the cable?" I asked. "Do you need help?"

# No, I'm okay, # he assured me, and though he moved sluggishly as he took hold he did not seem injured, merely exhausted.

Nevertheless I was relieved when he reached Unit 00's entry plug and I could take his arm to assist him to board. I steered him into the pilot's seat, though he tried to defer to me, and felt validated when he leant heavily back against the headrest as the plug slid back in.

"Thanks," he whispered.

I realised I was stroking his face, but couldn't bring myself to stop. "I'm just relieved that you aren't badly injured," I said. My voice came out surprisingly low and tender, even moreso than was usual for me when speaking with Shinji.

He looked at me, his eyes seeming to drink in the sight of me, and he reached out to touch my face in turn. "Kaworu… I thought I was going to lose you again. But you're here – you're alive. You're with me."

This dizzying joy – it was because he no longer shunned me, yes? This brimful bliss, like my heart was a sun – it was caused by the relief of reconciliation … yes?

Shinji's hand slid along my jaw to circle around the back of my neck. "I won't lose you again. I won't."

I could not have explained what I thought was happening – what was about to happen – only that I somehow wanted it, very much. "Shinji..."

At this inopportune moment, Misato broke in over the audio link. # Kaworu, bring Unit 00 back on the linear rail. The retrieval team will collect Unit 01. Shinji, Ritsuko wants you to come by the hospital for an evaluation. # There was background conversation. # You too, Kaworu. I'll see you both at cage three, okay? #

"Understood," I bit out, irrationally annoyed.

"Yes, Misato," Shinji said. He sounded deflated and discouraged in a way he had not a minute ago. Suddenly self-conscious, he withdrew his hand and glanced around the inside of the entry plug as I directed the Evangelion to the linear rail. "Um, why are you in Unit 00 anyway, Kaworu?"

I recalled in a rush my guilt over not informing him of the activation test – though it felt so long ago now. "We were running another synchronisation experiment. I was not told beforehand, nor permitted to tell you once I was briefed. I am sorry for deceiving you again."

"Dr Akagi wouldn't let you?" Despite his words absolving me, he sounded hurt.

"No. I think she was concerned that Misato might stop the test. Lt Ibuki suggested it would save you both some anxiety on my behalf. But..."

I took his hand, and he met my eyes. "While I don't wish to distress you, I have been told that it is a friend's prerogative to worry about the people they care for – that pleasant and unpleasant feelings stemming from emotional attachment go together, and are each valuable. So, as your friend, I am sorry for not letting you worry about me." I squeezed his hand, and he returned my smile with one of his own.

"It's okay, Kaworu. I'm just really glad you weren't hurt this time."

He hesitated. "There were … dummy plugs in those Evas, weren't there. Fake Kaworus."

…Ah. "Yes, there were. Programmed to execute the battleplan of their issuing branch."

"And you killed them."

"They were never alive – not really. They had no souls, and nor did their Evangelion Units. Not like us, and not like Unit 00 or 01. More importantly, they were threatening my friend."

My gaze dropped to our joined hands, plugsuit gloves in matching blue. "Shinji, I am sorry for keeping that from you. Like being an Angel, it is something I am not proud of, and I have not been brave about bringing to light things that could upset people I care for."

"I know what that's like," he said, and sighed. After a long moment he nudged my shoulder with his own. "Thank you for apologising, even though I'd already said I forgive you. It – I appreciate it."

I nudged his shoulder in return. "I appreciate you, Shinji Ikari."

The smile returned to his face, apparently unbidden.

By the time we came to a halt in cage three, Shinji seemed to be mostly recovered from the stress of battle – colour had returned to his cheeks and his gaze was more alert. I winced as I disconnected from Unit 00 and the ache of my own injuries reasserted itself, but it was not debilitating, and I was able to move and breathe with only little difficulty as we disembarked.

Near the elevator we found Misato and Dr Akagi engaged in heated conversation, unaware of or ignoring our presence. I gestured to Shinji to be quiet, and we approached circumspectly.

"As Director of Operations I should have been consulted on the decision to re-test Kaworu in Unit 00," Misato was saying.

"It was intended to be a limited-scope experiment," Akagi returned coldly, and if I had not known of their long friendship I would have believed that they were not friends and never had been. "We wouldn't necessarily have proceeded beyond even first contact. Full activation was not guaranteed."

"Bullshit," Misato snapped. "You expected to get to operational standard. Either way, to organise and conduct the experiment in secrecy from me was out of line. Are you hiding things from me again, Ritsuko?"

"I have full authority as Vice-Commander and Technical Supervisor to take measures to avoid possible obstacles. I can see from your conduct now that you would have unnecessarily impeded the task with your unprofessional conduct."

"Unprofessional? For caring whether one of my pilots is in danger?"

"We had the situation well under control!"

"Oh, so under control that you had to send him into battle in a unit he'd never successfully piloted before! So under control last time he tested in it that he was badly injured and the entire base put at risk!"

"That is irrelevant," Akagi snapped. "We had no control over what happened that day."

"But today you did. You didn't even wait until Kaworu was fully recovered. You knew what you were doing was unjustifiable."

There was a pause, and Misato turned her back. "I'm going to the Commander. I don't care if you had the authority, I do not agree with what you've done." She began to walk away.

"I don't require your agreement, or your permission," said Akagi to her departing colleague. To herself she muttered, "And the Commander will let me risk Kaworu however I choose, as long as his candidate is safe."

She drew a breath as though to steady herself, then set her shoulders and looked about. Catching sight of Shinji and I, a concerned look passed briefly over her face, before her expression smoothed again. She had evidently judged that we were not close enough to have overheard her last remark – I suspected she was correct to surmise so about Shinji, to go by his lack of response.

"Ah, you're back, good. Come with me. Will you both be all right to walk?"

"Yes, we're fine," said Shinji. As the doctor strode ahead and we followed slowly, I noticed absently he and I had not yet let go the other's hand, and the warmth this generated in me did much to dissipate the chill caused by her words.

Once in the infirmary, Akagi swiftly checked Shinji's vitals, both from the plugsuit data and manually, and pronounced him shaken but unhurt. She administered cooling gel to the irritated skin on his forehead and temple, a nervous reaction from the damage inflicted to Unit 01's headpiece, and gave him tablets to take if he had trouble sleeping or developed tremors.

"I'd recommend you take tomorrow off school, and don't exert yourself," she said.

"Make Misato or Asuka cook for once," I suggested.

Shinji grinned. "I'd rather have something edible." He slid off the examining table and we traded places.

Akagi took the readouts from my plugsuit systems, her grip on my wrist light but inflexible. "There was that brief incident early in the test," she reminded me, "so I'm going to put you on the EEG again. Everything else seems normal, though I'd advise you to take it easy as well."

"Dinner delivered it is, then," I said, and shared a grin with Shinji at this estimation of Kaji's cooking skills.

The electroencephalograph test was briefer than last time, and although she controlled her expression Dr Akagi seemed pleased with the results. I was not sure whether this was good for me or not, and reminded myself that I had not investigated this machine as I had intended to.

Attempting to extend my senses and perceive her intention were again fruitless; the black fog of earlier clouded my thoughts. I could not even seem to compose my thoughts enough to frame questions; I simply sat passively as Akagi gave me another injection and prescribed medication apparently similar to that she had given Shinji, though with stronger exhortations to take the pills regularly. I felt helpless and ignorant, and shivered when she removed the EEG headset as though the room was cold.

"You can go now," said Akagi. She had folded and stacked the EEG printouts on the counter and was scribbling on a clipboard bearing our medical reports. "We won't call you in tomorrow unless there's an emergency."

"Okay, thanks," said Shinji.

As we made our way to the locker room and got changed he looked tired still, and pale. I gave him the last drink from my water bottle (without telling him I had not had any yet, otherwise he would have refused).

When we emerged to the mezzanine lounge, we found Rei seated neatly upright on one of the lean-back armchairs, looking unintentionally and misleadingly tense as she often did.

She looked up as we approached, and got to her feet. "Ikari. Nagisa. You are both well?"

"Yes, thank you," I said.

"We're fine," said Shinji. Noticing her eyes on the bandage adhered to his forehead, he added reassuringly, "It's just a bruise. Were … you worried, Ayanami?"

She hesitated, then nodded fractionally. "I believe that the feeling I experienced is what is called 'worry'."

Shinji looked almost awed. "I'm sorry," he said automatically. "I didn't mean to upset you..."

"I apologise for being unable to assist you," she spoke past him. "The synchronisation attempt with Unit 02 was not successful."

"No, it's not your fault," said Shinji. "I know you would've come if you could have."

"You have no need to apologise," I agreed. "Besides, Unit 02 is quite different to your Unit 00 – as Dr Akagi said, the chance of her accepting you was quite low."

"And it turned out all right, anyway."

"What has the doctor said about your status and treatment?" Rei asked us.

"We have been instructed not to exert ourselves," I said. "So neither Shinji nor I will be cooking dinner tonight. Our lazy housemates can pull their weight, for once." Shinji giggled.

Rei paused, appearing to consider to herself, then lifted her chin. "Would you like to come to my house? There is food already prepared. It is mushroom soup with bread dumplings."

"Really?" said Shinji. "If it's no problem – um, I don't want to intrude..."

"Thank you, Rei," I said, "we would very much like to join you."

She nodded, and we followed her from the lounge and into the maze of NERV's exit route.

I walked beside her to ask, "Did you cook the meal yourself?"

"Soryu instructed me. She called them pilzsuppe and semmelknodel." Rei stumbled only slightly over the German words; I deduced she had been thoroughly tutored in their pronunciation. "She said that even if I dislike eating meat, I should still ingest proper food with real flavour." Rei's usually emotionless speech acquired a dryness as she relayed Asuka's exhortations, and I couldn't help laughing.

"I'm sure it'll be great," said Shinji, smiling. We left NERV together, and I discovered that the hurt and stress of the day was already fading – less important than the fact that I was with dear friends, and we were happy.