Chapter 19: Oh Mother, Where Art Thou Part 1

(Here it is guys. The last little story arc before we begin wrapping up this fanfic. I just wanna say it's been a fun year writing this story as well as my others and I hope I was able to bring you at least a few laughs. That being said, this one will be a little more feelsy as I warned you last time so without any further ado, let's begin.)

A few days had passed since the Zanpakuto spirits had returned to their Inner Worlds and with help from the cleaning efforts of the Simpson family, (namely Marge), the Seireitei was running as good as new in no time at all. Throughout that time, the rush the Simpsons felt from their battle with the Menos Grande still remained fresh in their minds and for the first time since learning the truth about the afterlife and what their ultimate fates were, The Simpsons couldn't wait to become Shinigami. This feeling only grew as the days went by and was at an all-time high on this particular Saturday afternoon which found the Simpsons playing tennis in the courtyard of the Kuchiki Mansion.

"Hit the ball, Major Tom the Tennis Racket!" Homer shouted as he swung his racket at the incoming tennis ball. "Major Tom" missed by an inch and the ball flew over Homer's head, causing him to utter his usual "D'oh!"

"Homer, stop calling out everything you have in your hands like a Zanpakuto." Marge called.

"I can't help it Marge!" Homer whined. "Ever since we defeated those Mentos Grande monsters, I've been wanting to do it again!"

"Same here." Bart added as he tossed the ball up into the air and sent it flying toward his sister. "To think, all this time I've wasted trying to go to Hell when the real action is here in Soul Society!"

"While I can't 100% agree with your sentiment, I will admit it was fun fighting the Menos." Lisa hit the ball back toward her brother and father. "And the best part is, according to Captain Kuchiki, when Hollows are slain with Zanpakuto, their souls are purified and they can return to the cycle of souls so no real killing is involved."

"Ugh! Way to take the fun out of it Lis!" Bart spat as he hit the ball toward his Mom.

"Speaking of Captain Kuchiki, did you ask him for permission to set up this tennis court?" She asked as she hit the ball to her husband.

"Don't worry Marge! Me and Byakuya are totally chill now! He's cool with it!" He promised as he tried and failed to hit the ball again. "D'oh!"

From the doorway of the mansion, Byakuya watched in annoyance as the family played. "I don't remember giving Homer permission to build a tennis court in my courtyard." He muttered. "And just what does he mean by chill?"

"Well if you ask me, I do wish things were more peaceful here in Soul Society." Marge continued. "Don't get me wrong, it was fun taking out those Oggie-Woggies together as a family but personally, I'd rather see if I can find my Dad."

"Hey! I was just thinking about that the other day!" Lisa chirped. "It occurred to me that since this is the afterlife, Bleeding Gums Murphy should be here somewhere!"

"That's right Lisa!" Marge agreed. "And Maude Flanders too! Everyone we've ever lost is probably living here as we speak!"

"Cool!" Bart mused. "We should totally find them and make them think we all died because the Power Plant melted down and that everyone else went to Hell!" Bart laughed as he hit the ball to his mother again. "That'd be hilarious!"

"Bart! No pranking the dead!" Marge hit the ball to Homer once again. "Right Homie?...Homie?"

Homer was unresponsive. He simply stood there, a blank expression on his face. Even when the ball hit him on the head and knocked him to the ground, he barely even grunted. Marge quickly threw down her racket and rushed to her husband's side. "Oh, Homie! Are you alright? Speak to me!"

"I'm...fine Mo-Marge." Homer quickly picked himself up and marched back into the mansion, dropping his racket in the process. "I just need to lie down for a while." The rest of the family watched as Homer vanished into the doorway.

"What was that about?" Lisa asked out loud. "It was as if Dad was in some sort of trance."

"Yeah." Bart agreed. "I haven't seen Home Slice like that since the Duff shortage last year."

Marge murmured. "Kids, sometimes grown-ups have problems that they just don't wanna talk about and when that happens, it's best to leave it to their wives to coax it out of them."

From the back of the courtyard, next to her busy box, Maggie clapped her hands.

Night had fallen and the Simpson family had retired to their quarters for the night. This consisted of two rooms side by side with each other, one where the kids slept and one where Homer and Marge rested for the night. It was in this room that the couple lay side by side, neither quite ready to sleep yet. Homer had remained in his silent state for a while now and Marge figured it was now or never to inquire about the reason behind this. "Homie?" She began.

"Yes Marge."

"Is there any particular reason you're...you know...like this right now?"

"Whatever do you mean?"

"I mean ever since the tennis game, you've had this strange look on your face." Marge thought back to what they were discussing during the game. "Did we say anything to upset you at all?"

"Of course not!" Homer denied, some emotion finally returning to his voice, much to his wife's relief. "It's just..."

"It's just what Homie?"

"It's just...when you guys were talking about the people we lost, I couldn't help but think about...Mom."

Marge fought the urge to gasp as she realized what Homer was telling her.

"The last time I saw her alive, I told her I wouldn't forgive her because of all the times she left me," Homer continued. "And by the time I wised up and tried to make amends, she was already gone. It's always haunted me, making my Mom think I hated her when she died."

"I'm sure she didn't feel that way!" Marge quickly wrapped her arms around her husband. "I'm sure deep down inside, she knew that you were just saying those things out of hurt."

"I'd like to think so too." Homer sniffed. "But since Mom was dead, there's no way to know for sure." Homer teared up a little and wiped his face with his sleeve. "Until now!"

"Homer, Are you saying.."

"First thing tomorrow, I'm going to approach Head Captain Yamamoto and ask him how I can find Mom. I know she's gotta be in the Rukongai somewhere and if anyone knows exactly where she is, it'd be him."

Marge smiled and planted a big kiss on her husband's forehead. "Well, I think that's a great idea!"

Homer returned her smile for a few seconds before suddenly frowning again and looking down.

"Homie?" Marge frowned as well. "What's wrong?"

"Do..Do you think Mom will wanna see me?" Homer asked in an uncertain voice, not at all like himself. "After everything I said."

Marge pulled him closer to her chest. "I'm sure she'll be thrilled about getting the chance to patch up things with you!"

Homer allowed himself another smile. This one was smaller than his previous one but would last much longer. "Thanks, Marge."

That night, Homer and Marge fell asleep in each other's arms.

The next day, true to his word, Homer left for the Squad 1 barracks. Even after all his time in Soul Society, the thought of facing a man like the Head Captain alone still terrified Homer but nevertheless, he persisted. "I gotta do it for Mom!" Homer thought as the Squad 1 barracks came into view. "I spent my whole life not knowing if there was really an afterlife and now that I'm here, I have to find Mom and make things right!" Homer reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper which he unfolded. On it was a simple drawing of a hand turkey Homer had made this morning. The phrase, "I've been a real turkey." was written around it. Homer sniffed again as he folded the paper back up and placed it back inside his pocket. "Just wait a little while longer Mom." He thought. "I'll find you and apologize for everything I said that day!"

Upon arriving at the Squad 1 barracks, Homer was greeted by Lieutenant Chojiro to whom he relayed his desire to see the Head Captain. "The Head Captain is busy now but he should be done with his meeting in a few minutes," Chojiro replied. "You may wait in the hallway in the meantime."

"Thank you." Homer answered as politely as he could. This, as well as the tone of his voice, threw off Chojiro who half-expected Homer to whine about having to wait if not abandon whatever it was he was after in the first place. He watched as Homer walked into the Squad 1 barracks and vanished down the hallways. "There's something off about Mr. Simpson today." Chojiro thought. "He seems more...focused."

Homer continued to wander the halls until he found himself in the hallway where the meeting hall was held. He could hear the voices of Yamamoto and other elders conversing from the hallways and patiently waited until the meeting had run its course. To Homer's pleasant surprise, this wait only lasted 15 minutes and he watched as five elderly people with long robes and paper over their faces left the room and walked down the hall. None of them seem to notice or care about Homer and as he was a little unnerved about their appearance, he wasted no time running into the Head Captain's office

"Ah Homer Jay Simpson." Yamamoto greeted. "I was just having a meeting with a few members of Central 46. Those were the new applicants for the position left open by the assassin but enough about that now. How can I help you?"

"Well, um. T-There's something I wanna ask you." Homer began, every nerve in his body screaming to turn back now.

"Very well." Yamamoto nodded. "Ask away."

"Well, this place, Soul Society is the afterlife right? As in, when people die, they come here."

"They are meant to be here." Yamamoto corrected. "More often than not, we Shinigami have to help them along."

"Right, right but this is the afterlife. And that means everyone who's ever died comes here."

"You'll have to cut to the chase Simpson," Yamamoto warned. "I am not a fan of mind games."

Homer whimpered a little but quickly recomposed himself. "Very well. I would like to know the whereabouts of one Mona Simpson."

Yamamoto raised one of his bushy eyebrows. "I beg your pardon?"

"My mother." Homer clarified. "I wanna know where exactly in the Rukongai she is."

Yamamoto lowered his eyebrow and sighed heavily. "I'm afraid I can not help you with that."

"Why?" Homer asked and suddenly giggled to himself. "Oh what was I thinking? Of course, you wouldn't know something like that off the top of your head. In that case, I would like to know where you keep the records of everyone in the Rukongai."

"I'm afraid you cannot do that," Yamamoto stated.

Now Homer was starting to get annoyed. "Hey! What's the big idea!? All I'm asking is for a tiny peek at your records! Is that too much to ask?"

"You do not understand Mr. Simpson." Yamamoto continued. "The reason you cannot check the records for souls living in the Rukongai is that no such records exist."

"Huh?" But then how do guys keep taps on all the people who come here?"

"We...don't," Yamamoto admitted.

"What do you mean you don't?" Homer asked. "There's gotta be some sort of record or phonebook or something! How else would you bring families together once their loved ones reach this place?"

Yamamoto only responded with a sigh as he prepared to tell Homer the truth. To his surprise, however, Homer noticed the look on his face and his own dropped with quiet and saddened realization. "You...You guys don't reunite families here, do you?"

Yamamoto shook his head. "Once a soul had been brought into Soul Society, the Shinigami's obligation to that individual soul is over. Our main duty above all else is to make ensure the balance of souls between our world and the World of the Living remains in check. We simply do not have the time to complete minimal tasks such as that."

Homer gasped. "Minimal task? Those are people's lives we're talking about here!"

"Those who come into Soul Society do so because their lives have ended!" Yamamoto raised his voice as he was starting to become annoyed with Homer's persistence. Once again, the Patriarch of the Simpson clan shocked the Head Captain, this time by not flinching in the slightest. While he was nowhere near intimidating, it was clear that Homer was starting to become angry as well.

"You know what I meant!" Homer argued. "These people spend their whole lives wondering if there's even a hereafter! If they'll ever be able to see their loved ones again! And now you're telling me that even though there's an afterlife, the people in charge don't do jack squat to bring them together again?" Homer paused as he suddenly had a disturbing thought. "Wh-What about my family? Are we not going to be together after all?"

Yamamoto sighed once again. "It is rare for souls of the Rukongai to reunite with the ones they loved in life. More often than not, they simply form new families with the people they find around them. That is simply the way of things."

Homer couldn't believe what he was hearing. His wife Marge, the love of his life and the three children they had fostered together. He had always been under the impression that if there was indeed an afterlife, even if it was the raging inferno of Hell, they would at least have each other. But now, hearing that he might very well lose Marge for good on the day Death came for him after all, he was overcome with shock, horror and grief and fell to his knees. "This...This can't be..."

"I'm sorry Mr. Simpson." Yamamoto continued. "I'm afraid the afterlife is no fairer than the one you live now."

Homer remained on his hands and knees for a few moments and Yamamoto wondered if perhaps he had accidentally broken Homer mentally. Suddenly the yellow man banged his fist against the floor and got back to his feet. "Well screw you old man!" He shouted as he pointed at Yamamoto and ran out of the hallway just as Chojiro entered. "What on Earth is wrong with Mr. Simpson?" He asked.

"Not Earth. The Soul Society." Yamamoto muttered. "It would seem Mr. Simpson finally inquired about the true nature of a normal human's fate in Soul Society and needless to say, he was not pleased."

"I see," Chojiro responded. "Is that why he came to ask you, Head Captain."

"In a way, yes." Yamamoto grabbed his cane with both hands and sighed. "To be more precise, he was asking for someone named Mona Simpson."

"Mona Simpson?" Chojiro's eyes widened. "Did the Simpsons have a deceased family member all this time?"

"It would appear so." Yamamoto looked down at his cane. "I'm sorry I could be of more help to you Homer."

Marge wasn't sure how long it would take her husband to return from the Squad 1 barracks and so as soon as he had left, she prepared a giant submarine sandwich for his return. "I'm sure Homie will be hungry when he gets back, especially with all that walking." Marge happily hummed as she stuck a pie into the stove for dessert. Bart and Lisa walked into the room, the latter holding Maggie in her arms. "That smells great Mom," Bart commented. "You're really pulling out all the stops for Home Boy today."

"I sure am!" Marge proudly declared. "Homer's gonna need it for the big mission he's about to go on."

"Big mission?" Bart and Lisa looked at each and then back to their mother.

"Well, I guess I can tell you kids now," Marge bent down so that she was at eye-level with her children. "Your father has decided to look for his mother."

"Grandma?" Lisa asked. "As in Grandma Mona?"

Marge nodded. "He's gone to the Squad 1 barracks to ask the Head Captain where he might find her and once he gets back, I'm sure he'll want to go look for her." Marge looked back up at the huge sandwich sitting on the counter. "Once he's eaten of course."

It was at this moment that Homer walked into the room, his thunderous footsteps alerting his family to his arrival. They quickly scrambled to greet him with smiles on their faces, expecting him to be smiling as well, now knowing where he would find Mona. Instead, Homer looked forlorn, his eyes wet with recent tears and concealing just the tiniest bit of anger within them. He sat on a nearby table and put his head down as his family watched on.

"Homie?" Marge cautiously approached him. "Did everything turn out ok?"

Homer shook his head without removing it from the table.

"Something's wrong with Dad." Lisa moaned.

"I'll say. Usually, he'd already been scarfing down the sandwich after having smelled it from the other room." Bart braced himself for strangling as his father detested being compared to a bloodhound, but to his surprise, Homer didn't move a muscle. "Oh my god! He didn't strangle me! Something's seriously wrong here!"

"Homie, speak to us!" Marge pleaded. "What happened back there!?"

Finally, Homer wearily rose his head up. "I went to ask the Head Captain where I could find Mom and..." He trailed off as if debating whether or not to tell his family what he knew.

"Well, what did he say?" Marge inquired fretfully.

"Well..." Homer forced himself to sit upright. "You and the kids might want to sit down for this."

And so Homer relayed what Head Captain Yamamoto had told him. He watched as his family's faces contorted in fear and sadness over their eventual fates. Even Maggie, sensing the despair in the room, began to whimper.

"We might not see each other again after we die?" Marge murmured. "But I don't wanna another family. I like this one!"

"That's so horrible!" Lisa cried. "How can the Shinigami just leave people to fend for themselves like that!?"

Bart, however, wasn't too upset. "Big deal. No family just means it'll be easier to become a criminal badass when I die."

"Why you little!" Homer began to strangle Bart. "I'll show you to take things in stride!"

The negativity in the room proved to be too much for Maggie and the baby began to weep. Marge, fighting back tears of her own, took the baby out of Lisa's arms and held her close to her chest. "There, there. Shhh! Mommy here's. At least for now, Mommy's here." Marge's voice began to break as she spoke and she began to cry as well, prompting Homer to let go of Bart and hold her close.

Byakuya walked into the kitchen. "What is all the commotion about?" He asked in an annoyed voice. "Some of us are trying to watch the cherry blossom channel."

All eyes fell on the Squad 6 Captain like daggers and while he was not in the least bit intimidated by the Simpson's death glares, they did make him wonder if he had offended them in anyway. "What seems to be the problem?" He asked.

"How could you?" Marge answered as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "How could you not tell us that we'd be separated after death?"

Byakuya narrowed his eyes. "Who told you this?"

"The Head Captain himself!" Homer shouted. "I asked him where I could find my mom and he said that once you Shinigami drag our sorry asses to this dump, you're done with us!"

"...Did the Head Captain really put it like that?" Byakuya asked with the slightest hint of concern in his voice.

"You know what I meant!" Why don't you guys help human souls reunite with their families?"

Byakuya sighed. "It is true that the Shinigami do not have a system in place for reuniting people with those they loved in life but we do not interfere in that matter either. Many souls that end up in the Rukongai search for their families endlessly but due to how vast it is and how many districts it comprises of, they are never able to find them. Besides, you are all already predetermined to become Shinigami when you die, are you not? Even if you die separately, you will most likely meet again in the Seireitei."

"But what about the countless other families in the Rukongai?" Lisa asked. "Those who aren't strong enough to become Shinigami? Don't they deserve your help too? I thought the role of the Shinigami was to help humans!"

"The role of the Shinigami is to regulate the balance of souls between the two worlds." Byakuya corrected. "And while it's true that this includes aiding humans, there is only so much we can do. Do you not recall your battle with the Menos Grande?"

The Simpsons did not respond but from the look in their eyes, Byakuya could see that they remembered. "Monsters like those were once humans themselves and we as Shinigami must purify them and grant them salvation. That is a very dangerous task and more often than not, it leads to causalities on our end."

"You...you mean Shinigami can die too?" Bart asked.

Byakuya nodded. "Despite the name Shinigami, we are not gods. We are simply another higher form of soul given the task to protect this reality from falling apart. The point is, we cannot help everyone." Byakuya turned his back on the family. "We never once told you we were heroes. If you came to that conclusion yourself, that is your own fault." He turned to the submarine sandwich that Marge had made. "By the way, your meal is covered in ants." He pointed to the tiny insects crawling over the sandwich.

Homer, both because of the sandwich and because of what Byakuya had just told him, burst into tears and fell to his knees again. As his family gathered around him, Byakuya left the room.

Many souls that end up in the Rukongai search for their families endlessly but due to how vast it is and how many districts it comprises of, they are never able to find them.

Memories of his late wife Hisana appeared in his mind as his own words echoed through his head.

Dinner was a mostly quiet and joyless affair for the Simpson clan that evening. With the sandwich ruined by ants and the pie left forgotten in the stove until it had burnt to a crisp, the family had to settle for boiled cabbage. In any case, not even Homer could muster up enough of an appetite and it wouldn't have made a difference even if they were having lobster. To add to the oddity of this night, it was Homer who had touched his food the least.

"Stupid Shinigami." He muttered. "Wouldn't help me find Mom and then tell me I'm going to lose my family too."

"This is awful!" Marge cried. "After we die, we might never see each other again!"

"Don't forget what Captain Byakuya said, Mom!" Bart interjected. "We might meet again as Shinigami!"

"Maybe," The corners of Marge's lips rose up in a small smile and Bart felt hope that he had cheered his Mother up. Then her lips trembled. "If none of us get eaten by Hollows first!" She broke down worse than ever and Bart let out a small "D'oh!"

"Besides, that doesn't solve the big issue here," Lisa added. "I could never work for an organization that just ignores the needs of people right outside their door."

"Lisa's right!" Homer suddenly rose up. "I've had it up to here with these supernatural jerks! They've tried to kill me, kept me prisoner, abducted my family, and now this!? Well, I for one refuse to live under the same roof as them any longer!" Homer stormed out of the kitchen and into the room he and his wife slept in. His concerned family followed him and watched as he began packing everything he could into a small bag.

"Homie, what are you doing?" Marge asked out of concern.

"I'm packing my things and leaving for the Rukongai! I'll find Mom myself! Don't try to stop me!"

"Homer!" Marge ripped the bag out of her husband's hands and dumped the various candies, sake and somehow alive koi fish out onto the bed. "First of all, this stuff all belongs to Byakuya! All our stuff is at home remember?"

"Oh dammit!" Homer grunted.

"Second of all, you're not going to the Rukongai alone! We're coming with you!"

Homer's face, fixed with the stern look of resentment toward the Shinigami ever since he left the Squad 1 barracks, finally softened. "R-Really?"

"You bet ya, Home Slice!" Bart chirped. "The Rukongai's bound the be funner than this dump."

"And I cannot live under this roof in good conscience. Not after today's revelation." Lisa added. Maggie, who rested in Marge's arms, sucked her pacifier.

"You too Maggie!" Homer happily wiped a tear from his eyes. "You guys are the best!"

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Marge squeaked. "Let's go!" Her smile suddenly vanished again. "Oh but first, let me knit the kids some sweaters. It's kinda chilly tonight."

The next morning, a Captain's meeting was called once again. Ironically enough, its purpose was to discuss the fact that there had been so many Captain's meetings recently and the only one who didn't see this irony and therefore was annoyed by it was Yamamoto.

"In conclusion, A Captain's meeting should be held only for the most serious of circumstances." Yamamoto finished. "Now before I dismiss you, I'll open the floor for any personal topics in order to further diminish the number of meetings we have to have later. Anyone?"

"I suppose I might as well bring this up now." Byakuya sighed. "Has anyone happened to see the Simpsons today?"

Murmuring occurred among the other Captains as Yamamoto spoke up. "What? Are you saying the Simpsons are no longer at your mansion Byakuya?"

Byakuya nodded as he pulled out a piece of paper from his cloak. "When I woke up this morning, they were gone and none of the servants nor Renji could tell me where they went. I did however find this note they left for me."

"Let me see that!" Yamamoto snatched the paper out of Byakuya's hands and read it out loud. Somehow, despite the poor spelling, he was able to decipher it in one try.

U GUYZ SUC! GOING TO RUDE GONE GUY WITH MY FAMILY! GOODBYE FOREVER!

"The Rukongai?" Soifon asked. "Why in the Soul Society would they want to go there for?"

"I believe it has something to do with what you told Homer the other day, Head Captain." Byakuya suggested. "He and his family did not seem to take the news well."

"Homer met with you alone Head Captain?" Toshiro asked. "What did you say to him?"

Yamamoto sighed. "Mr. Simpson came to me the other day hoping to find the whereabouts of a deceased relative he believes lives in the Rukongai. I was forced to tell him the true nature of how things work around here and he left rather upset."

The Captains murmured to each other once again.

"I can't really blame them," Kensei whispered to Shinji. "I'd be upset too if such vital information had been kept from me for so long."

"What I wanna know is who Homer was looking for in the first place," Shinji whispered back. "Do you think it could be a cute girl?"

"I wouldn't count on it," Kensei replied.

Soifon scoffed. "Well if you ask me, they're overreacting. No one ever said the afterlife was all peaches and cream. If they want to run away like little children, I say let them!"

"We cannot!" Yamamoto shouted. "The assassin is still out there as we speak and every moment the Simpson family is not under our watchful eyes is an opportunity for them to strike! We must form search parties and find them at once!"

"Actually, that won't be necessary," Mayuri said as he held a small device in his hands. "Using the tracking chip inside of Homer's body, I just pinpointed his location which no doubt he shares with his family."

"Well?" Ukitake asked. "Where in the Rukongai are they?"

"Actually, they're not even in the Rukongai." Mayuri sneered. "They're in the forest next to Skyoku Hill! kekekeke!"

There was a full 10 seconds of silence from the other Captains before they all let out a resounding "WHAT!?"

"Blagh! Argh! These leaves tea taste like crap!"

"Hmm. Strange. I thought white leaves would make for good-tasting tea." Marge mused as she examined her cup. She and Homer were drinking tea she had boiled from the white leaves growing on the trees around them while Bart and Lisa fought each with sticks they pretended were swords. Maggie lay inside the makeshift tent that the family had set up, sound asleep. Suddenly, a cloud of dust rose up nearby the camp and when it had dissipated, Shunsui, Byakuya, Sajin and Soifon were standing there.

"There you are!" Shunsui greeted with a tip of his hat.

"Ahhh! Shinigami!" Homer rushed toward the fire he and Marge had burning in the middle of their came and grabbed the log it was burning on. "You stay back! You hear me? I've got the power of fire on my side and I'm not afraid t-GAHHHHH!" Homer screamed as the fire spread over his greasy body. "The power of fire! It's turned on me!" Homer continued to scream as he ran through the forest while Bart and Lisa dropped their sticks and got behind their mother.

"What are you doing here?" Marge asked.

"We could ask you the same question," Byakuya replied. "Didn't your note say you were leaving for the Rukongai?"

Marge murmured sheepishly. "Well, we kinda got lost on our way there. It's kinda hard to see at night after all."

Behind the group, Homer continued to run and scream as the flames consumed him. Every tree he ran by went ablaze as well.

"Just as well." Shunsui spoke. "Now that we've found you, you can drop this silly little charade and come back with us."

"Silly little charade!?" Marge growled. "Now look here Mister! Maybe you Shinigami don't take things seriously when it comes to family but we do! We're going to the Rukongai and finding my Mother-in-Law!"

"Mother-in-Law?" Sajin gasped. "As in, Homer's mother? Is that who this deceased relative is to you?"

"That's right!" Marge nodded curtly. "My Homie has some things he needs to say to her and since we're here, we're going to help him do it!"

"I see." Sajin replied. "I can understand your actions very well."

"Well I can't!" Soifon hissed. "Do you have any idea how much of a headache you and your family have been since this whole mess started!? The Gotei 13 runs things the way we do for a reason and I don't see any reason why you should be above the law. If being together after death is that important, then why don't you just all die together as a family!?"

Marge and the kids gasped in horror at what Soifon said.

"I am shocked and appalled," Bart stated.

"Geez Soifon, wasn't that kinda harsh?" Shunsui inquired.

"After all the trouble they've caused? This is the least they deserve!" Soifon sharply turned back to the family. "Now cease this foolishness and come back to the Seireitei or else I'll-

"Hey! Back off!" Homer shouted as he rolled on the ground toward the group, the fire finally going out once he stopped at Soifon's feet. He quickly picked himself up and dusted his tattered clothes with his hands before facing the Squad 2 Captain. "Nobody and I mean nobody talks to my family like that!"

"Oh yeah!" Soifon challenged. "And just what are you going to do about it?"

"Stop it Soifon!" Sajin barked. "Can't you see you're the one who's acting like a child now!?""

"I'm acting like a child? I'm not the one whining for his Mommy!" Soifon turned back to Homer. "Tell me something Homer. Why exactly is finding your mother so important to you? What's so special about her that you feel entitled to asking the Head Captain himself for help finding her? Huh?"

"Soifon," Shunsui uttered while Sajin growled. Byakuya remained stoic as ever but deep inside, he shared the same sentiment as his fellow Captains. Soifon was taking this too far. What shocked them even more, however, was Homer's face. In the beginning, it would screw up in terror as soon as he laid eyes on the Shinigami once tasked to kill him but now? Nothing. No fear. No panic. Just a cold expression of hate and hurt in his eyes.

"You wanna know?" Homer asked after what seemed like an eternity of silence. "You really wanna know why I need to find Mom so badly?" Tears formed in the corners of Homer's eyes but his expression didn't change even as Sajin and Shunsui's did. "My Mom was an eco-terrorist who left me when I was just a kid. My Dad lied and said she had died. She came into my life several times after that, and each time she would leave again just as we were really getting to connect. I got fed up with it and rejected her when she tried to make amends." He sniffled. "I realized that I was being stupid and made her an apology card but...it was too late. Mom had died in her sleep."

Tears flowed from Homer's eyes as Marge looked on in joined grief. "Oh Homie." She sighed.

"I see." Shunsui fixed his hat again. "So your mother died before you two could make amends. That's really sad."

"I agree." Sajin nodded. "It's no wonder you wish to find her so badly."

Byakuya and Soifon, however, still remained stoic, the latter not moved an inch by Homer's tale of woe. Byakuya did not feel either but was made to think about Hisana once again, much to his displeasure.

"Is that it?" Soifon asked. "You had a fight with your mother and you feel guilty?"

"It wasn't just a fight!" Homer suddenly shouted. "I told her I wanted nothing to do with her!" And she died before I could apologize! She died thinking that I hated her! Don't you have any idea what it feels like for someone to suddenly be out of your life without so much as a goodbye!?"

Then and only then did Soifon's facial expression change. Memories of the day Yoruichi fled the Soul Society and left her behind flooded her mind and she quickly forced them away, not wanting to relive the sadness she felt that day.

"You Shinigami have no idea what that feels like!" Homer sniffed. Marge placed an arm on Homer's shoulder and even his children hugged his legs. Soifon said nothing but simply averted her gaze from the family by looking down at the ground. After another eternity of silence, Shunsui clapped his hands in the air, wanting to relieve the tension in the air.

"Alright!" He said. "I think that's enough drama for today." He approached the Simpsons. "Look, I understand where you're all coming from with this business of trying to find your mother but the Rukongai is no place for people like you."

"It didn't seem so bad when Mr. Urahara brought us here the first time." Marge murmured.

"That's because you happened to arrive at Soul Society through the first district. There are 320 districts in total and as they go on further and further from the Seireitei, they become more lawless and therefore, more dangerous."

"320 districts!" The Simpson family shouted in unison.

Shunsui nodded. "That's right. That fact is, it would take you at least a couple of centuries to look through them all and that's assuming you don't get yourselves killed in the process. I can tell from the look on your faces that you need some time to process all this so we'll be taking our leave now. We'll be back tomorrow and hopefully, you'll be more inclined to come with us."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Byakuya asked. "They might try to leave for the Rukongai in our absence."

Shunsui waved his hand as he walked past his fellow Captain. "I'm sure by now, Old Man Yama has had Jidanbo and the other gatekeepers on watch for the Simpsons. Without outside help, they can't leave the Seireitei."

"D'oh!" Homer muttered upon realizing that Shunsui was right.

"Let's go." Shunsui flash-stepped out of the forest and Byakuya followed. Soifon glared at Homer one more time, scoffed again and left as well, leaving Sajin alone with the family. He was about to leave when Lisa suddenly rushed out from behind her father.

"Lisa!" Marge shouted.

"How!?" Lisa asked once she was in front of the Squad 7 Captain. "How can you go on like this? Knowing there are people suffering in slums all around you! Don't you feel any pity for them at all!?"

"Of course we do." Sajin responded calmly. "But things are much more complicated here than you realize. One day when you become a Shinigami, may-

"I'll never become a Shinigami!" Lisa suddenly interrupted. "Not if it means having to dump people in slums and leaving them to fend for themselves! I...I hate the Shinigami!" Lisa ran away from Sajin and her family in tears. As her family chased after her, Sajin was left shaken by her words. As with Soifon, they brought up memories of the past. In his case, they were of his old friend and former Captain of Squad 9, Tosen Kaname.

"I see..." Sajin whispered sadly. "It would seem even the living share your sentiments about this world, Tosen." With this, Sajin left as well.

That night, after a light dinner of acorns and a lizard Homer had caught, the Simpson family slept together in the tent. Being as small as it was, Homer and Marge's feet were exposed to the elements and they shivered in their sleep. The cold, plus all of the foul-tasting tea he had drunk today eventually worked in waking Homer up with the intense urge to relieve himself. Getting up carefully so as not to wake his family, Homer snuck off into the forest, picked a random tree, and went to work.

"Awwww! That's so much better!" Homer's content mood was disturbed by the sound of rustling from behind him. Frightened, Homer zipped around to face the enemy. "Who's there? Are you a Hollow? I'm warning you! I'm armed!"

"Put that thing away, you disgusting moron." A familiar voice rasped from the bushes. "Don't you have any manners?"

"That voice...creepy clown guy?"

"The name's Mayuri and you know it!" The Squad 12 Captain scolded as he rose out of the bushes. "In any case, I'm glad I was able to find you."

"Look pal, I don't care what any of you Shinigami jerks think!" Homer replied as he zipped himself back up. "I'm going to find a way out of the Seireitei to look for my mom and you can't stop me!"

"Stop you?" Mayuri cackled. "Don't be so foolish! I'm here to help you!"

"Wha!?"

"You see Simpson, it's been quite a while since my last survey on the Rukongai populace and I was thinking that it's about high time for another one. The problem is, I've been so swamped with work lately that I hardly have the time. That's when you come in!" Mayuri pointed his elongated fingernail at Homer, causing the yellow man to yelp. "Here's what I propose, I help you get to the Rukongai and you take the survey in my stead."

"Will it hurt?" Homer asked fearfully.

"Of course not! All you have to do is count how many people are living in the various districts." Mayuri's smile suddenly faltered. "You can count right?"

"Of course!" Homer waved his arm while looking away from Mayuri. "What kinda dumbass would I be if I couldn't count?"

"...Very well." Mayuri reached into his cloak and pulled out a couple of smaller black cloaks. "These cloaks were fashioned with materiel left behind in Kisuke's Urahara's labs when he fled Soul Society long ago. Not only will they turn both themselves and the user invisible upon being put on but they will also block out your spiritual pressure, rendering you completely undetectable. Here's enough for your whole family! They should be the right sizes." Mayuri placed the cloaks in a confused Homer's arms.

"My family?" Homer asked. "You mean you want them to come too?"

"Of course! The more counting for my survey the better. Besides, that was your original plan all along right?"

"I mean yeah..." Homer shuffled his feet as he looked to the ground. In reality, Homer had been having second thoughts about his family joining him ever since Shunsui had told him about the slums. Putting himself in danger was one thing and frankly, one thing he did a lot of, but putting his family in danger for something he wanted? That felt like crossing a line Homer did not want to cross, although he was sure he had already done it a number of times.

Mayuri didn't seem to notice any of this emotional turmoil as he was already walking away. "Make sure to be as precise with your survey as possible. And try to get their blood samples as well if you can!" Homer watched as the Squad 12 Captain vanished into the trees. Once he was sure he was gone, he studied the cloaks a little longer before finally making his decision.

"I know Marge will be mad at me for doing this but I have no choice! I'm the one who needs to apologize to Mom and I'm the one who needs to bear this burden!" Homer returned to camp to kiss his family goodbye, left a note, and began making his journey toward the White Road Gate. "I'll find you, Mom! Even if it takes me 100,000 years!"

Marge woke herself up that morning by rolling over in her half-asleep state. She expected to bump into the fatty tissue of her husband's belly like usual but instead felt the uncomfortable sensation of paper crumpling beneath her back. Waking up fully, Marge quickly realized that her Homer was nowhere to be found. Feeling the note under her back, she got it off and read it over.

LEFT FOR ROOT KONG EYE BY MYSELF. DON'T WANT TO PUT FAMILY IN DANGER. PLEASE DON'T FOLLOW ME.

"Oh my God!" Marge whined. "Homie!"

"Hmmm. So I'm in the first district. So far, so good!" Homer mused as he walked through the district. After he had snuck past Jidanbo, Homer tosed all the cloaks, including his own, into the nearby river. He wanted his mother to see him when he found her so he had no use for them. In any case, the people around this district had seen Homer a couple of times before when he would go shopping with one of the Shinigami for doughnuts and so were undisturbed by his appearance. The young woman working at the shop even smiled at Homer warmly and waved goodbye as he left with the bag of doughnuts he just bought. He would need to keep his strength up for the long journey ahead after all.

"This isn't so bad!" Homer thought. "Maybe I overreacted. I mean, how bad could those other districts be?"

District 18:

Homer found himself in the first real slum he had encountered since his arrival in Soul Society. It was chaotic with a merchant chasing after some kids who had stolen some of his merchandise and two grown men were sword fighting. Homer had yet to be daunted, however, even with the dirty looks he got from the people there. "So far, so good." He repeated. "I'm sure I'll find Mom in no time at all!"

District 27:

Ahhhh! Hollows!" Homer screamed as the dinosaur-like Hollow chased after him. This district was currently being attacked by a swarm of Hollows and as it was so far away from the Seireitei, the Shinigami were taking a while to arrive. In the meantime, the residents were left to fend for themselves which basically translated to running away from the masked monsters. Homer had caught the attention of the biggest one, a sauropod-like monster that liked to shoot Ceros out of the top of its head.

"This is bad." Homer cried. "If only I had Kunishinbo to help me out this time!" The Hollow fired another Cero at Homer and the blast of energy exploded behind him, sending the former Safety Inspector flying away from the District. He flew for several feet before crashing into the forest below.

"Ok...I'm just gonna rest here for a little bit and then...rest a little more.." Homer rose his head up to say this before bringing it back down again.

District 59:

Homer had had a long and painful journey at this point. In the perils of his quest to find his mother, he had lost his shoes, doughnuts, and a chunk of flesh from his arm. (District 38 was under attack by Hollows as well.) He was tired, cold, and hungry. Wearily, he took the card he had made for his Mom the other day out of his pocket and looked it over. It gave him a little bit of his strength back and he pressed onward.

No one in this district looked very friendly. They were either glaring at Homer as if thinking of all the ways they could kill him or simply sulking in a pool of their own misery and ignoring him completely. After a bit of walking, Homer found himself slowly approaching an orange-yellow tent that had definitely seen better days. He could hear chatting inside the tent and started pondering if maybe these people would let him rest inside the tent for a while as his feet were killing him. Homer briefly reconsidered this idea, given the dirty looks he had been getting as well as the overall mood of this place. A single drop of freezing rainwater hit his head and he looked up at the sky just as the rest of the rain followed suit. Knowing he wouldn't be able to travel in this weather, Homer decided to seek shelter in the tent after all.

"Umm...excuse me?" Homer asked as he poked his head inside the tent. "Sorry to trouble you but I was hoping if it's not too much trouble,...huh?" Sitting before Homer in a row were five girls of various ages, the youngest looking about 15. Even though their backs were to Homer, he could tell that they were all beautiful from their hair and side profiles. What concerned Homer the most, however, was the fact that all the girls were tied up.

Before the girls in the center of the tent were two men. One was a shaggy old thing that looked like he could barely walk and was actually kneeling toward the other man who sat in a chair. Although they both had white hair, this man was considerably younger and more handsome than the man bowing to him. The younger man also wore a scar over his right eye and a scowl that rivaled Soifon's in terms of sheer disdain. There were two other men standing in the shadows on either side of the man with swords in their hands.

"Please, Lord Torie!" The older man begged. "I brought these young beauties all the way from District 3! They are at least worth 3000 each!"

"For each?" Torie snorted. "Don't make me laugh! It hardly takes any effort to make a product look good to the eye but the real cash value is in its durability."

"D-Durability?" The elderly man asked.

"Me and the boys tend to get a little rough with our toys. We won't waste a single cent on ones that won't last the first night." Torie and his men started laughing while one of the women, the youngest-looking one, suddenly burst into tears.

"Oh my God! It's a human trafficking ring!" Homer gasped. "The only thing in the whole world worse than regular traffic. I gotta help them!" Homer noticed the armed men standing next to Torie and quickly reconsidered his decision. "Oh, what can I do? Without Kunishinbo, I'm just a useless tub of lard. I better leave before they find me too." Homer started backing out of the tent when the youngest of the captive women suddenly turned her head and locked eyes with him. Her face was as lovely as Homer figured it was, the tears flowing out of her emerald eyes doing nothing to hamper her beauty. She showed no fear when looking at Homer, only fear of what her fate was about to be sealed to and in her eyes, a silent plea for the strange yellow man to save her and others.

Homer, of course, was still scared to do so. "Come on! Stop it! I'm no hero! Stop it!"

The girl did not stop. In fact, as if to really seal the deal on Homer saving her from this nightmare, she sniffed. The tears in her eyes seemed double upon that sniff and Homer couldn't take it anymore.

"Ohh! Stupid human decency!" Homer quietly crawled back into the tent and untied the women one by one. Luckily for both him and them, the two men were too wrapped up in their conversation to notice as were Torie's guards.

"So unless you can guarantee that we'll get to have our fill of fun with your merchandise, I'm only paying 500."

"500 each?"

"500 in general," Torie smirked.

The old man sputtered, completely taken aback by Torie's nerve. "Now listen here! This is prime merchandise, guaranteed! Tell you what! I'll let you have a trial run on one of the girls tonight. If you're satisfied, you pay the full 3000 for each of them. If not, I'll happily take the 500. What do you say?"

"Hmmm. That could work.."

At this point in time, Homer had managed to free all five women, the last one even planting a kiss on his cheek in thanks for the rescue. They all ran out into the rain, sure to be freezing later but just happy to be free. The women had all taken care to wait until they were out of earshot so as to give Homer a chance to escape himself.

Tragically, they had grossly underestimated his stupidity.

"Phew! Glad that's over!" Homer said out loud as he watched the last woman vanish into the rain. His voice quickly caught the attention of Torie, his cronies and the would-be seller of the girls, all of who were shocked to see a deformed jaundiced fat man standing where the girls were not but a minute ago.

"My merchandise!" The man cried.

Homer turned to the angry men, realizing that he had just given himself away. "Uh oh!"

"My harem!" Torie shouted. "I was going to name them all Betsy!" Torie snapped his fingers. "Boys! Kill them both!"

The men armed with swords suddenly approached the old man as they raised their weapons. The man feebly crawled back, tears filling his own eyes. "Wait! Wait! I can get more girls! I promise! Wai-

But the man would never sell another girl again. The two swords slicing through him like bread had seen to that. The resulting blood splattered on the two guards who remained emotionless and Homer who started screaming and ran out of the tent.

"After him!" Torie demanded. "I want his skull for my morning mud coffee!" The henchmen nodded and ran out after Homer.

"This is bad! This is so very, very bad!" Homer thought as he ran through the rain, the freezing water washing the old man's blood off of him. "There's no way I can take on those guys! Maybe I can lose them in the rain!"

"There he is!" One of the men shouted from behind.

"Ahh! Okay! Don't panic! Maybe they just wanna talk?"

"I'm gonna ram this sword up your smelly ass!" The other man shouted.

"D'oh!" Homer ran faster than he had ever run before, making it up to 8 mph. His exhaustion was setting in but the desire to stay alive kept him going. "Maybe if I keep running through enough districts, I'll lose them."

District 67:

"We're gonna roast you over a split!" The men shouted as they continued to chase after Homer. The rain had ceased but now Homer was drenched, both from the rain and the sheer amount of sweat his body had produced.

"Just a little more." Homer thought. "I'm sure those guys are getting tired by now. They'll stop chasing me any second now."

District 74:

"We're gonna cut off your head and make it sing show tunes over Lord Torie's fireplace!" The men shouted as they still chased Homer. It had been a full day and night of running for all three men and Homer was at his limit.

"Being forced to run for all eternity!" Homer wept. "This must be Hell!" He faced the sky and shouted as loud as he could. "This is HELLLLLLLLLL!"

District: 79:

Homer couldn't take it anymore. He had gone well past his limit and honestly, he was surprised he hadn't already done so since District 60. He couldn't hear the men speak anymore but he knew they were still chasing after him for he could still hear their footsteps running behind him. With a final gasp for air, Homer collapsed in front of a bush. This bush happened to be growing in front of a small cliff which the unconscious Homer fell down.

The men stopped themselves before they hit the bush and searched it, failing to notice the cliff behind it. "You see him?" One of the asked.

"Nope!" The other man replied. "Maybe this is one of them man-eating bushes the boss told us about."

The first man suddenly became very afraid. "Why the hell are we standing next to it then?" With a panicked scream, the men ran away from the bush back to Lord Torei who would later be forced to explain to them that he was joking. As for Homer, the poor man was laying at the bottom of the cliff, barely awake with both arms and legs twisted.

"This is the end." Homer thought. "I'm really gonna die! And since this is the afterlife, I have no idea where I'm going!" Homer sniffed. "And the worst part is, I never got to tell Mom I'm sorry."

A shadowy figure suddenly loomed over Homer. "Oh great. Now Death is here. Well, you might as well hurry up and finish me off you black-robe-wearing jerk. I failed as both a father and a son. So just take me out with the other garbage.

Whether it was the shadow coming down on Homer or him simply slipping into unconsciousness could never be fully said for sure but either way, everything went black for the son of Mona Simpson.

(By the way, I have the first chapter for a new grimdark Simpsons story up now. As with last time, I'm only gonna promote it this once so as not to annoy you guys but if you're in the mood for a dark Simpsons fanfic, I'd recommend giving it a look. It's called Lisa Simpson: Animal Avenger Ok bye!)