Hahhhhh... Yup, my motivation levels are absolute garbage. Between getting back into D&D by which I mean joining four separate campaigns, and then getting sick, and also casually being in the middle of a depressive episode where my energy level is even lower than the zero I already have from being sick, I've basically gotten none of my personal projects done. Oh well, at least I finally forced myself to sit down and write, hopefully it turned out slightly alright? This is a slightly more triggering chapter with triggers including, anxiety, dysphoria, abuse and unsupportive households, death, intentional and accidental misgendering, nudity, alcohol, being drugged, and derogatory views of omegas in general. If I missed anything please let me know, I will add it to the list. As always take care of yourselves and thank you for reading!

(Also I just want a show of hands after the read. I had a few people predict Virgil's backstory correctly, I just wanna know how many people saw this coming XD)

"Logan? Are you in here?" Roman asked as he ducked under the spiral staircase in the library.

He squeezed through and found Logan resting against a beanbag, pulling out his earbuds as he turned his head to face the visitor.

"Greeting Roman. I was about to virtually attend my lecture. Is there something I can do for you?" Logan asked.

"Sir Janus came down and asked me to check on you," Roman tentatively replied with a furrowed brow.

"Oh, yes. He's likely just worried because I'm in heat. You have no need to worry I am quite well," Logan promised.

"Wait you are?" Roman blinked in surprise.

"In a way, yes. I've already told you about my condition involving my hormone levels. I'm in one of my states where my body knows it should try to ovulate but it cannot produce enough to make a heat in the way that others experience it. However the levels are higher than those in my regular daily life so in technical terms I would be considered to be in heat. That's why I am attending class online, to avoid any negative attention it could potentially bring as a result," Logan explained.

"Don't you want to be with your mate?" Roman pressed curiously.

"Not much more than normal," Logan chuckled. "Now, my lecture is beginning and I should be turning my focus on paying attention. You're more than welcome to join me although I don't believe I'll make good company."

Roman shook his head giving a bit of a playful bow and smile.

"If you are truly alright I'll be off to spend time with Virgil," Roman replied, turning to make his escape.

"Have fun Roman, I'll see you later this evening," Logan called after him.

Roman let out a hum-like response as he pulled himself out of the nook and made his way out of the library.

He moved swiftly through the growingly familiar halls on his way to the opposite corner of the house. He passed through the arching entrance of the kitchen only to raise a brow in confusion.

"Cookie?"

"Why are you on the counter?"

Virgil shrugged from where sat cross legged beside the sink, eating a pack of store bought chocolate chip cookies.

"Everyone is busy so no one can yell at me and I just received the extra pack of cookies I ordered which I can eat in peace," Virgil shrugged.

Roman chuckled, giving up on his own confusion as he shook his head and accepted the pastry that Virgil held out for him.

"You doing okay without Lo and Re being around much?" Virgil asked when the silence started to bloom again.

"Hm? Oh yes, you could say I've grown accustomed to it being quiet," Roman explained, a sour note hinting in the edges of his tone.

"And the way you say that makes me believe you hate when it's quiet," Virgil presumed. "Doubt it's the same but I've got enough triggers with my anxiety and dysphoria as it is to recognize when something seriously bothers someone."

"Dysphoria?" Roman questioned, unfamiliar with the term.

"I guess I didn't get far enough into my story for you to know about that…" Virgil trailed off, his gaze lifting up towards the ceiling before falling down to meet Roman again. "Willing to listen to take two?"

"If you don't mind me saying, V, your hair is quite beautiful when you leave it down," Logan mused.

V brushed back his long hair, a small frown on his face. Normally he'd try to manage it by putting his hair up on a low ponytail or bun but his anxious fidgeting while waiting for Logan to arrive from class had broken the worn out elastic.

"I know you dislike long hair for some reason but I don't see why you haven't gone to have it cut, I'd cut it or help pay for it if money is an issue," Logan pressed, his concern over how dark his new friend would randomly become was ever growing.

"Ah… no, no that's fine. My dad just isn't a fan of when I cut my hair," V explained nervously.

"You told me your twenty-first birthday was just the other day, you have the autonomy to make your own choices over your body. You needn't stay with a man who scares you enough you hide at a bus stop for hours at a time to avoid him," Logan argued. "You're an independent and intelligent young woman. I have every faith you could make it on your own even in an omega oppressive society like this one."

V did his best to suppress a shiver of discomfort at Logan's words. He couldn't hold it against the other omega, he didn't know. V couldn't let him know. There was too much of a chance of losing the one person willing to be his friend.

"You have more confidence in me than I've ever cumulatively had in my life," V replied, half brushing off the comment.

"V, I've expressed the sentiment before that I will never use any information you grant me against you, nor will it cause me any ill will. You have no need to hide the issues that bother you. I understand you have anxiety but the way you choose your words and close yourself off at statements has me concerned about your home life," Logan addressed.

V frowned, it wasn't the first time Logan had voiced his concerns. The way V dressed, the way he acted, the way he held this same routine every day not matter the circumstances, the very fact he couldn't bare to let Logan know his full name because he couldn't stand the idea of it coming out of the mouth of someone he'd gradually come to cherish as much as he did his own mother.

"Trust me Lo, you don't want to hear my shit. Besides… I've told you it's all more complicated than you'd think," V insisted.

V jumped slightly when he felt Logan's fingers lace with his but quickly felt his muscles melting at the gentle form of affection.

"You're right, I likely don't understand. I've told you before I've never had a family. The facility and living with Janus are the only things I've ever known, the only advice I can give you are from my limited observation and from the various media I've read. I simply cannot get over my concern that things are worse for you than you let on," Logan sighed, staring up at the chilled and overcast sky lingering over the college campus.

V allowed himself to lean a bit closer to the steady presence beside him.

"Is it weird that it's nice knowing you're concerned?" He asked.

"Well, to feel concern for someone requires that one cares for the subject of their concern. I don't find it strange that you are happy to be cared for," Logan explained.

Virgil let out a soft breath, releasing some of the weight from his shoulders, the way he could only manage to do around this strange fellow omega. Both of the black furred cat tails found their way to twist around each other.

A car horn gave a short friendly beep and the pair looked up to see the black car that had pulled up beside the bus stop, the passenger side window scrolling down.

"Are you ready to head home, Logan?"

V recognized the alpha within the vehicle as Janus, Logan's mate, whom he'd seen on occasion but never truly interacted with.

"Indeed, just give me a moment," Logan called back, slowly standing from the bench. "Well, V, this is where we part paths for the night. I'll see you again Monday."

V forced a smile as he waved goodbye, since meeting Logan he'd come to dread weekends. Friday through Sunday Logan wasn't required to attend any classes and the silence of waiting became a lot less bearable after the idea of having at least short company was introduced to him.

The car pulled away and V was left on the lonely bench, waiting for his mother to return on the bus from her job. It shouldn't be much longer, her work let out not long after Logan's afternoon classes so typically she was on the next bus after Logan left.

The sky gradually grew darker with both clouds and dusk until the weight of precipitation started cascading over the streets as V waited. He didn't move from his spot, he never moved from his spot unless Logan prompted him to. He simply held himself, his teeth chattering with the chill that seeped through his clothing. Thunder rumbled in the sky, cars rushed across wet pavement, sirens wailed in the distance, but V simply sat there numbly. He hadn't been sure the bus was late until he realized there should have been at least two buses having stopped in the time he'd been sitting there, but none came. People had gathered to wait for the transportation but left after some notification on their phone.

"Venus. It's time to go home," a gruff voice eventually announced themselves.

"Dad?"

V looked up to find his father standing under an umbrella staring back at him. At first he was confused but when he saw the reddened tear stains on the man's face he knew.

"Where's mom?" was all he could manage to ask.

"They took a corner too tight, the bus flipped," he replied, his gaze unable to meet his child as he stared down the quiet rainy street.

A shaky breath left V's mouth as he stared out unseeingly in front of him. She had to be okay, she was probably just taken to the hospital or something to make sure she hadn't hit her head. There was no way it could be anything serious. He'd do anything to make sure it wasn't something serious.

"Come on, Venus, I didn't go out of my way just to stand in the rain all night," his father said, turning and stalking away down the street towards their apartment.

V wobbled to his feet, slowly trudging after the increasingly distant figure of his father. The sheets of rain felt like ice drenching his numbed skin, his gaze trained on the sidewalk during the entirety of his travels.

His father waited for him at the door of their apartment, holding it open to make sure he came inside.

"Go get a warm shower, Venus, I don't need you getting sick on top of everything. I'll order us some food," he sighed, closing the door behind him.

"Please don't call me that," V whispered uncomfortably without much thought.

"Call you what? Your name?" He snapped back.

V flinched recognizing his error. Of course his father was already upset as it was and pressing this issue was specifically not a good idea. He'd seen his father get physically violent with his mother before for arguing in V's favor, now he didn't have anyone protecting him.

"Your mother is in the fucking hospital on deaths door and your concerned about your god damn gender nonsense. You're a girl. You are my daughter. It's high time you start acting like it! You are an omega and yet you can't even get a single person interested in you because you keep hiding yourself in giant hoodies demanding you're a man. You're never going to get anywhere in the world if you don't accept the facts, even if you were biologically born male you're still an omega, a feminine gender. You'll never find a good mate and move out if you don't grow up," His father yelled, approaching V who could only keep his gaze low in response.

"I-I have a male omega friend and he's very masculine presenting," Virgil tried to point out the flawed logic to save his own skin.

"He's a bad influence on you. So is your mother, enabling your delusions. It's high time I did you a favor and made you grow up."

The man stalked away towards the kitchen cabinets before returning, garbage bag in hand, to capture V's wrist and take him to his bedroom. V landed roughly on his knees beside his bed. As he looked up he was horrified to find his father had thrown open his closet door and was stuffing all of the clothing his mother had bought for him into the bag. They were all still woman's clothes, she wouldn't go against her husband that far but they were specifically oversized and high necked so Virgil didn't have to feel as dysphoric over his figure. All his father was leaving behind was the clothing he and their extended relatives had bought, tight outfits with plunging necklines, dresses, skirts, things of the like.

"D-dad! Please stop. I w-won't bring it up again! I swear, I'll be good, just leave me at least some…"

V fell silent as the hard and angry eyes looked down at him.

"Take off the hoodie and give it to me," he ordered.

"Dad please-"

"Venus!"

V shivered and shrank away.

"Do it or I will do it myself," he growled.

V barely suppressed his tears as he shed his jacket and let his father take it from his hands.

"The shirt too," his father added, noting the oversized t-shirt that was not revealed.

V hesitated with his hands at the hem of his shirt but when his father took a heavy step closer he quickly pulled it off. When he did he audibly heard his father's breaths stop and felt the atmosphere growing heavier. Looking up he was met with his father's gaze completely distorted with rage as he stared at V's chest or rather the makeshift ace wrap binder he'd attempted to make.

He didn't even bother requesting for V to remove it this time he just yanked V to his feet, removed the knife from his pocket. V felt petrified as he felt the blunt end of the knife rubbing his back as his father sawed off the layers of binding, letting them fall uselessly in small strips to the floor. His face burnt with mortification as he covered his now bare chest, listening to his father bagging up the last of his belongings.

"If I ever catch you doing that again, there will be severe consequences. Do you understand?"

"Yes," V whimpered back, waiting for the door to close before collapsing to the ground in a heap.

His body heaved with uneven sobs as he clung to his wet, cold, and now bare body. The despair, the mortification, the fear, it was all piling up in a way that V couldn't process. He hated it. He hated everything. He just wanted his mom back, but he wasn't sure if she'd ever come back now.

His fears were proved right when the hospital called the following night to inform them that her condition had taken a dramatic turn for the worse. She was already gone by the time they reached the hospital. Sunday was spent wordlessly with the father child pair ignoring each other and locking themselves in solitude. Then finally the saving grace that was Monday came, the day V could finally see Logan again. This time he'd tell him everything, he'd ask for help, he'd do whatever he needed to. He couldn't live with his father and he didn't mean that mentally, he was in physical fear of what prolonged arguments without his mother's interventions would make his father do to him.

"Where do you think you're going?" His father asked as V tried to make his escape through the front door.

"I-it's Monday. My friend has class. We always hang out after his class," V replied nervously.

"I've already told you and I won't repeat myself again. That friend is a bad influence. You have no reason to go to the bus stop anymore, you have no reason to see him any more, end of story," his father replied.

"But-"

"I said 'end of story', Venus. Now, I'm meeting up with higher ups from work tonight for drinks. I expect you to come along and I expect you to make sure you dress appropriately," he stated, pointing back at V's room to send him away.

V slank back to the security of his room. Dejectedly sitting at the foot of his bed, staring into his still open and mostly empty closet. He'd laugh spitefully and ask what else could possibly go wrong but he was already well aware of the fact that more had gone wrong than he thought possible. With his luck jinxing himself would mean he'd probably get hit by a bus with only enough force to give him lasting damage and not actually kill him, giving the world yet another reason to make his existence a miserable one.

With a sigh he pulled himself up and did what his father expected of him. Dressing in a short, form fitting, asymmetric, backless black dress his aunt on his father's side had bought him. His long brown waves were pinned back in a twisted half up half down. A jeweled choker clung to his thin, pale throat while matching earrings dangled on either side of his head. A perfectly presentable daughter, just like his father wanted. The bite scorched V's lower throat as he caught sight of the mirror and the young woman staring back at him. The jarring distance he felt from the body he was supposedly in. The discomfort in how wrong he felt made him nearly sick but, unless he got out from under this roof, he knew he was going to need to get used to it.

What an idiot he was for not accepting Logan's help before it was too late. He just didn't want to upset his father and leave his mother to deal with the aftermath. Now he just had to hope his father would eventually stop keeping his reins so tight eventually and hope Logan wouldn't get tired and stop waiting.

V followed his father's call and did his best not to cringe at the pride and compliments he offered at seeing his child liking the way he'd always wanted them to. He just let himself go numb to it. It was better not to feel anything than to process the situation and inevitably become a crying wreck of grief, dysphoria and anxiety.

The bar that was hosting the business get together his father was having wasn't the worst place in the world. They had a reserved table along the wall away from most of the commotion.

"Aiden, it's good to see you. I see you brought along a guest," one of the older men at the table hummed, nodding in V's direction.

"Yes, this is my daughter, Venus. After her mother's unfortunate passing I think she could use getting out of the house and socializing," his father replied.

V didn't let himself react, even if he wished he could. He wanted to call out the fact that if his father wanted him to 'socialize' he would have let him go see Logan. What this was entailed was likely either him not trusting V out of his sight or him wanting to set Virgil up with someone.

"Venus, the Roman goddess of beauty, how fitting," a younger gentleman mused, his eyes trained on V. "If you're in need of company to ease you've come to the right place, my dear."

His father guided him to take a seat beside said man and he knew his suspicions were right. He was trying to kill two birds with one stone, find his child a 'suitable mate' and likely get something out of this man like a business opportunity or promotion. He'd need to play along or his father would be upset. He just hoped things wouldn't escalate beyond casual conversation.

V sipped at the jin on the rocks that had been ordered as a round for the entire table unfavorably. It was too bitter for his taste, he was never a fan of straight alcohol, he preferred mixed drinks with lighter alcohol content and actual flavor. He stayed good and patient until his social meter drained far too quickly with his being misgendered and either sexualized or objectified nearly every comment that was made towards him. He downed the second round of drinks in a moment, trying not to cough as it burned its way down his throat.

"Father, I'm going over to the bar to order something for myself," he said, standing from the table.

He knew he'd likely be scolded later but he brushed it off and went to sit at the stools along the bar.

"What can I get for you?" the bartender asked, having seen her approach.

"I don't suppose you can whip up a Paloma?" he requested.

"Coming right up."

V smiled gratefully and rested at the bar. This drink was only a temporary excuse to get away, he'd need to return soon but he'd prolong it as much as possible.

"Are you feeling alright? You ran off so suddenly," the younger man, whom V had learned was named Daren, said as he took a seat beside them.

"Ah… Yes, I just wasn't a fan of the drink choices. I thought I'd take a breather to order myself something else," V replied nodding towards the drink the bartender was bringing over now.

"How interesting," he replied, taking the drink for V and swirling it in his hand as he studied it to inspect what had been ordered. "Is this your favorite?"

"I don't really drink much, I'm only just now twenty one. I like mixed drinks so I just ordered an interesting one," V shrugged dismissively, waiting for the glass to be returned to him.

Daren set the cup down but his hand remained over the top of it like a lid, keeping V from grabbing it.

"If you don't drink often you should be careful. You're already on your third drink in a short time span. You'll get hit with those effects before you know it," he cautioned before finally handing over the cup.

V raised a brow, getting a bit of a weird feeling about why he might caution him. He was with his own father in a decent bar that didn't seem too shady, there shouldn't be much problem with getting drunk. Not that it was his goal to get drunk, tipsy perhaps, just to make socializing easier but he didn't want to be impared enough so he slipped up and said something wrong.

He slowly slipped at the drink he'd been given while the man continued to try to hold conversation with him.

"You know, your father told me about you," he mentioned once V was half way through his drink.

V let out a hum to fake interest, honestly his head was getting too spacey to really focus on the conversation.

"He thought we'd make a good match if we tried, just that you'd need a push to go with the flow," Daren stated, his hand rubbing along V's thigh.

V gave a slow blink before trying unsuccessfully to shift his leg out of the man's reach, wobbling unsteadily in his seat as he did. Daren reached around to steady him before he could tip over and fall.

"Whoa there, you've gotta be careful. I think you might be past your drinking limit," he suggested.

V gave another slow blink, perhaps that was right. He hadn't felt much of the effects before but now they were hitting and he couldn't form much of a thought process.

"Why don't I take you to my place, hm? You'll be more comfortable," he continued.

"Dad…"

"He already knows dear. He's the one that recommended this arrangement," he said, drawing uncomfortably close to V, his hands freely exploring as they pleased.

V just felt dizzy, everything was cloudy and fading.

"I'd recommend you getting your hands off of her unless you'd like the police involved," a voice cut in.

Even V's eyes felt heavy, he didn't have the energy to look at who'd joined them. He knew he'd heard the voice before but he couldn't place who or where, it hurt too much to think anyways. The arguing was too loud; it just sounded like banging rattling around in his skull. He didn't even fight it when someone scooped him up in his arms and began carrying him away.

"It's alright now V, I've got you," the voice from earlier reassured him, announcing he was the one now in possession of the omega.

V blinked up at the unfamiliar heterochromia eyes and then proceeded to curl into the warmth.

"I'm sorry this happened to you. A kind young woman like yourself most certainly has done nothing to deserve this," he said sympathetically as they stepped out into the more frigid night air.

"Not a woman…"

"I beg your pardon?"

"Not a woman… 'M a boy," V complained brokenly.

"My apologies. But the statement remains regardless of gender."

V hummed, pleased with the acceptance, no one had ever corrected themselves that easily.

"Just hang in there a bit longer, alright? Logan was worried about you," he said.

Logan. V wanted Logan.

That was the last thought that crossed through V's mind before he completely blacked out. When he reawoke he was met with something cold and wet dabbing at his forehead. He groggily groaned and blinked open his eyes, met with the sight of being in the backseat of a small moving car while Logan dabbed a washcloth across his forehead.

"Mnn, Lo? What's…"

"Don't try to sit up yet, you were drugged and it's likely not fully out of your system," Logan warned, his brow furrowing.

"Drugged? But h-how… why?"

His father's colleague, he'd been messing with V's drink. He hadn't even thought about how weird the situation was until now.

"My dad was there. They wouldn't have tried…"

"Your father was in on it. Trust me he tried to give me hell for taking you away from that other guy. It's not like he made it completely obvious he was aware of your situation and had been encouraging it. Luckily he seemed to recognize my fathers name and realized the severity of the predicament he was in. Which, by the way, if you want to press charges I will most certainly help you do so," the man who'd rescued him earlier replied.

Now that his head was a little more clear he knew for certain he recognized the man. It was Logan's mate Janus.

"How did you find me anyways?" V asked.

"I tracked you down by scent," Janus stated.

"What?"

"He's being sarcastic because he doesn't want to admit the actual lengths it took to find you," Logan corrected him.

Janus let out a sigh at the comment, his shoulders sagging a bit.

"My father knows pretty much everyone and anyone important in the area. Logan knew where your father worked from your conversations. I had my father contact the CEO of the company, and found out he was aware of the outing which included your father. I'd only intended to find him there and ask about you but I recognized you from a distance and I couldn't ignore that you weren't acting or looking well," Janus explained, his tone a bit indignant.

"But why were you looking for me?" V inquired confusedly.

"You weren't there. You've never not come to the bench even when you are sick or the weather is poor. When you weren't there today I knew something had to be seriously wrong," Logan replied.

"He wouldn't leave the bench until you came or I found you. He was very persistent about that," Janus added. "You should be honored. I've never seen Logan get this worked up over anyone else besides you, including his mates."

V's face burnt with the embarrassment those words insinuated.

"Also V. I don't know if you meant to tell me that little secret tidbit about yourself, but it's safe with me. Although I must say, you don't need to be afraid to tell Logan or talk about it more with me, we'll do our best to understand," Janus promised.

"I don't get it. You're a man but not biologically?" Roman questioned.

"Haahhhh, I suppose you've been sheltered your entire life so you know nothing about transgender individuals, do you?"

Roman shook his head, blinking dumbly back at Virgil.

"How do I explain this in simple terms? So basically you know how you know who you are and what you should look like in your head? Well when your actual reflection and your mental reflection doesn't match that is dysphoria. And for me that dysphoria mostly stems from the fact I was born into a woman's body despite knowing I'm male," he explained, Roman noting the nervous stress in his voice.

"It sounds kind of complicated," Roman chuckled, still not understanding Virgil's situation entirely but understanding just enough to get why Virgil struggled with it and people's reactions to it.

"You have no idea. Janus went through hell trying to get me on hormonal treatment after already having to jump through hoops to get my diagnosis," Virgil said.

"Oh?"

"The issue in the case of male omegas and female alphas is that the hormonal balance is so delicate. That's why most people are just willing to cast Logan's condition to the side as hopelessly infertile because too much estrogen is gonna make your body start to transition to female, to little estrogen and you're practically a feline featured beta. Same goes for female alphas with testosterone. Everyone basically said it was useless, either I give up my healthy hormone cycle as an omega or I just deal with my body being feminine because there wasn't any more to do any hormone therapy. Besides 'being an omega it doesn't matter anyways," Virgil scoffed bitterly at the notion.

"So that surgery I overheard Sir Janus mentioning he was saving up for you…?"

"Top surgery to remove my breasts and also money for if I choose to go through with bottom surgery although I don't know how I precisely feel about that one," he replied.

"Patton was right about you all having sob stories," Roman chuckled a bit, resting against the counter Virgil sat on.

"Pretty much. That's why you fit so well right into our melting pot of trauma."

"I feel this isn't something to be proud about."

"Trauma bonding is good for the soul."