A/N: Thank you all so much! You have no idea what your support means to me. I really appreciate it. I hope you like this chapter! Please let me know what you think!

Chapter 44

We ditched prom a while later and headed for the nearest drive-thru. Veronica wanted to hit up an after-party at Tina's house. I just wanted to eat. I was starving.

Despite going through the drive-thru, we parked and sat on one of the tables outside, all of us had taken our shoes off and were letting our feet dangle in the air. We had to sit on the table itself to get enough space to do so.

"It'll be fun!" Veronica was still trying to convince us to go to the after-party.

"So would a slumber party," I suggested. I was already tired and had tried to take off the crown I had been given as prom queen. Both Veronica and Robin told me to keep it on, though I suspected for different reasons. Robin looked like she was highly amused about the whole thing.

I took a bite of the burger I had ordered and watched as more cars started to arrive. It seemed like more people got the idea of leaving prom. Or it was over. Hawkins wasn't that big of a town and the burger place was one of the few that was open. I suspected they knew exactly when prom was and would make a killing off of the swarm of hungry high school students.

I swung my legs slightly and tried to decide if I actually wanted to go to this party. I smelt the smoke before I saw him and as I felt someone lean next to me, I wasn't surprised to see it was Billy.

"Looking good, Queenie" His eyes traced over the dress and to my bare legs. "And look at that, a crown and everything."

"Hmm, should I be thanking you for this one? I heard you were campaigning for me."

He just shrugged. "Better you than one of these other bitches."

I gave him an unimpressed look. "You didn't even go to prom," I said, pointing out the Canadian tuxedo he was wearing. The denim colouring didn't even match. He just grinned at me and took another drag of his cigarette.

"Don't need to, not when you're here in front of me." He tapped the crown before looking at the other girls. "What was her reaction?"

"Totally shocked," Veronica said. "It was very flash."

"She looked like this," Robin made an exaggerated shocked face with her jaw dropping and everything.

I nudged her. "I did not."

"Shit, might have been worth showing up just for that."

"Steve was named prom king," Veronica said. Billy rolled his eyes and I thought I saw something dark pass over them.

"Big fucking surprise," he said. "You going to the party?" he asked, looking back at me.

"Haven't decided."

"Come on," Veronica said. "It's going to be stellar."

I looked over at Robin. "What do you think?" She hadn't been interested in the Halloween party I had invited her to last year.

"Well…it might be fun?" she said, casting a glance back at Veronica who beamed at her. "I mean, it's the last one, right?"

I took the last bite of my burger, looking around at the other teens who were waiting in line or eating outside like we were. Some of them were watching us. "Alright," I said. "We'll go." Veronica cheered. "As long as I can change my shoes first."

We stopped off just long enough for all of us to grab flats. I considered changing out of the dress but it was something I would have never worn as myself. Staying in it helped to remind me who I was right now.

The party was in full swing by the time we got there. It was nearly as packed as the Halloween party was. Some people were still in their prom outfits like we were. Others had changed into something more comfortable.

It didn't take long before we ended up splitting off. Veronica was around somewhere and Robin and I were leaning against a wall people watching.

"Are things like this where…when–back home?" She asked. I wasn't too worried about others hearing her since the music was blasting and no one was near us.

"Just the music and dancing." I took a sip of the drink I was holding. Whoever made the punch made it sickly sweet, even with the alcohol. It was like drinking a jello shot. "Ugh."

"I'll be back," Robin said. "Gotta find the bathroom."

"Down the hall to the left," I said. "I think. Here, I'll hold your drink."

"Thanks." She handed it over and I watched her weave through the crowd. I leaned back against the wall. A few people had congratulated me on becoming prom queen, some even said they voted for me. I had no idea who they were but I thanked them nonetheless.

I caught sight of Steve at one point only for him to quickly turn the other way. Weird, but I wasn't his keeper. I was sure he had more important things to do or likely wanted to spend more time with his date. Billy was running around the house somewhere but I hadn't interacted with him since we stopped for food. I didn't mind. I tried to focus on the music and ignore the growing feeling of displacement. It was almost like my mind was starting to separate from my body. It wasn't going anywhere, I was still tethered in place, but I felt like I wasn't entirely present. I dug my fingers into my arm, trying to force myself back.

"Hey!" Robin appeared next to me and I jumped slightly in surprise. She frowned slightly. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I shook my head and looked at her. "Guess there was no line?"

"Come on."

I followed as Robin led me back the way she came from. We dodged past some people before she stopped and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Occupied!" I heard Veronica's voice yell.

"It's us."

The door opened. Robin pulled me inside after her and closed it behind us. "What's happenin–" I paused as I took in the scene before me. Veronica was kneeling on the floor, facing the toilet where a girl was sitting. She looked like she had been bawling her eyes out based on the way her makeup was smeared. "What happened? Are you okay?"

"Chrissy's boyfriend is an asshole," Veronica said.

I didn't recognize the girl and she wasn't wearing a prom dress but that didn't mean anything. "Why?" I knelt down next to Veronica. "Are you okay?" I asked again.

"Yeah," she sniffled, wiping at her face. Robin handed her more toilet paper. She gave a watery smile. "Thanks. You guys don't have to be here. It's your prom, you should go…have fun."

"No one should be spending a night crying in a bathroom," Veronica said.

"This is actually sort of becoming a tradition for me," I added. "That's how I met her," I pointed at Veronica. Chrissy gave a small laugh.

"Really?"

"Yeah," Veronica gave her a smile. "Same thing. Asshole boyfriend, but I moved on and it turned out better. So, come on. Do you want to cry in the bathroom or do you want to come with us, have a drink and dance in a group with the new prom queen?"

"Dance," she nodded, smiling at us. "Definitely dance."

"You know it," Veronica stood up and helped Chrissy stand then quickly took care of any smudges caused by the tears. I followed and paused. This girl was tiny. Not just height wise but in general.

"Alright," I straighted out my dress. "Who's your boyfriend?"

"Um, Jason. He's on the basketball team."

"Okay. Now do you want to talk to him tonight or not? Just point him out and we'll make sure you get your space if you don't."

"I don't..." she looked between us.

"I vote you don't," Robin said. "I mean, even if you do, he made you cry. Might as well make him wait." She shrugged as she said it.

"Okay," Chrissy nodded, wiping away the last of her tears. "You're right!"

"Woo!" I gave a small cheer. "Sounds great! Let's dance!"

Veronica was the one that pointed out Chrissy's boyfriend Jason. He was hanging with some other guys in letterman jackets. I kept an eye on them as we danced, even while making some ridiculous moves as we pretended to have a dance-off. Jason watched Chrissy, looking slightly confused at the company she was keeping but he didn't approach.

Eventually, it was time to leave. A couple of people approached Chrissy but she waved them all off with a smile. I offered to drive her home rather than leave her here. She accepted. It turned out she didn't live too far from Robin.

"Thanks again," she said, looking at all of us in the car. "This was fun. I'm sorry I ruined your prom." She told us that she had crashed the party with her boyfriend and his friends. No one really cared but it was clear she felt bad about it.

"Like I said, it's tradition," I said. Veronica and Robin were falling asleep in the back. "Don't worry about it, Chrissy. It happens to everyone. You're not the only person in the world whose boyfriend acts like an asshole or the only one who cries during a party. But you deserve better than a boy who makes you cry."

She gave me a smile. "Thanks. It's not…I thought you'd be scarier."

"What?"

"Yeah. I mean, everyone's heard about you and Carol."

"Carol deserved it in my opinion. I was just…I don't know, standing up for what I believed? People shouldn't try to cut others down just because they can. We can do better than that, like treat each other better. Know what I mean?"(and this poor kid with her ED courtesy of her mother's issues)

"I think so." She looked out the window. "This is me."

"Alright. Have a good night, Chrissy."

"You too, Kate. Thanks." She got out of the car and I waited until she actually got inside her house before I dropped the others off.

"I'm not going to Nashville."

Deanna dropped the dish towel she was holding. "What?" She turned to face me. "I thought that was the whole reason you didn't take the acceptance letters?"

"I know," I said. "I'm just going to try to save money. Flo is going to give me more hours at the station. I'll see if I can find somewhere else too."

"Tammy," Deanna smiled softly. "We've been through this. You don't have to have it all figured out now."

"I know. I just…I'm going to take some classes at the community college this year and just...save."

"Then enjoy your summer. You're young. Take your time."

I let out a breath, feeling suddenly far more relieved than I expected. "You're not…angry?"

"No." She moved forward and sat down next to me. "Tamara, you're too hard on yourself. I don't know what brought this on but I promise you, whatever you decide to do, we're here for you. If you want to take a year before making a choice, that's fine. It's not like I expect you to be a fully formed adult as soon as you graduate."

Tears welled up in my eyes. Little did she know, I already was. Just not the way she meant.

"Oh honey," She moved forward and hugged me. I let myself sink into her embrace. She stroked my hair. "It's okay. I promise, no matter what, it's okay."

I cried harder.

[tbc]