Author's Note:

Hello readers! Hopping in real quick to say thanks for reading and offering your thoughts. Also! I gave the content warning at the beginning of this but for this chapter, it's especially relevant. If you're enjoying the story but are hesitant about triggers or whatnot, feel free to skip to the end of this chapter for a quick summary of events so you're not lost on the next one! Cool, cool, have fun!

~The Cursed One

TRIGGER WARNING: depiction of anxiety attack

After the excruciating two-hour dissection of our mistakes, it was time for lunch. I sat with Ida and Asui. I made light smalltalk, joked about the difficulty of the exercise and even my own fit of nausea. I ate quickly, commenting a few times on how hungry I was. Then, I excused myself to check on my arm before class, and retreated to the bathroom.

I closed myself in a stall and squeezed my eyes shut, leaning my forehead against the cool, gross surface of the door.

Two minutes, I allowed myself. Then I'd have to clean up my face, touch-up makeup, and go back to class with a smile. But for just two minutes…

"Shit." I breathed quietly, crouching down and holding my head. I felt the anxiety that had been steadily spreading and growing throughout the day flare up painfully. I grit my teeth and breathed through it, waiting for it to pass.

Tunnel vision, you knew you'd have trouble defending it, the villains failed, escape proved fruitless, you gave up.

You gave up.

A more painful wave washed over me and I cringed, hugging my knees and balancing on the balls of my feet. You're too sensitive, Mrs. Bead told me, when I was young and built up the courage to tell her, you need tougher skin.

Tougher skin? Wouldn't that be nice!

I knew, I knew that when Bakugo called me an idiot, he wasn't trying to single me out or outright insult me, not for real. He wanted to pair up with me, after all. I also knew that all of Mr. Aizawa's criticisms were not only true and fair, but incredibly useful. I knew he wasn't trying to be harsh or make us feel terrible, only to analyze coldly and adjust accordingly. I also knew Kirishima didn't go out of his way to hurt me, and that Present Mike and Ectoplasm weren't surprised or bothered by my lapse yesterday.

I knew all that. I knew.

But I couldn't help the pain that bubbled up anyway. My aching arm and raw skin and cuts and bruises nearly brought relief in comparison. My injured pride pissed me off. I wanted to be what I showed; to shrug it off with a sheepish grin and roll with the punches. But here I was, barely breathing, struggling to cry in absolute silence.

I identified what had hurt me most: You gave up.

Bullshit. I'd blanked, I'd relied too heavily on Bakugo, I wasn't creative enough, any number of errors… but gave up? I wouldn't have made it here if I had the capacity to give up. That was never option. Giving up… it would be very clear if I ever gave up.

Okay, time to stop, time to calm down. I only had a few minutes left to pull myself together and walk out as if nothing happened. I took a deep breath in and held it until my lungs hurt. I shook myself to force my gaze to focus.

My head knocked into the stall door, which jangled loudly, sending a sharp wave of panic through my veins.

"Oh, is someone in here?" Tsu. Ah, crap. I quietly cleared my throat and exercised my most hated talent; acting and lying.

"Just me!" I called lightly. Snot leaked out my nose but I refused to sniffle. "Be out in a minute!"

"Everything okay?" Ah crap. Damn it, damn it… I started messily wiping my face on my sleeve.

"Yeah… my sling came loose and I can't for the life of me figure out how to wrap it again, it's been an ordeal, haha." It was gross to be sure, but I focused my mucus onto the edge of my sleeve, then rolled it up painfully, using my bad arm to help things along.

"Oh, you should have said something!" She was right outside the stall. I pulled out my compact power and attacked my red nose. "I can help!"

"I didn't want to make a fuss since really my arm is fine, it'll just ache for a few days." I explained, dabbing concealer under my eyes. I was doing this blind but, well, it wasn't the first time. "But if you don't mind, I think I'll be here for a year if I try to do it myself."

"Of course! And you don't have to hide that kind of thing, everyone got hurt this morning, so it's nothing to be embarrassed about." I paused for a moment. She was really nice.

"…thanks, Tsu." I cleared my throat and stood, "Two seconds!" I pulled my hair out of its ponytail and shook my head. Normally, I liked having it out of my face, but in situations like these, the less visibility, the better. To top it all off, I snapped the sling out of place and yawned as I exited the stall, which would explain any moisture I could have missed.

Tsu very kindly helped me tie my arm back up. I hid the sound of one controlled sniffle under the banging of the bathroom door closing behind us.

.

I always feel a bit better after crying. Well, I feel numb, which in my view is significantly better. Everything I worried about starts to feel silly and I care very little about it. I also get sleepy, but then again, everything makes me sleepy.

I focused during Present Mike's class, even made myself participate, though I found myself staring at the lines of my notebook more than once. I engaged in a few conversations between classes, always smiling and redirecting attention towards others. I used to just sleep between classes when I was like this, but quickly found how conspicuous that was. In a school where strength and perseverance determined grades and futures, showing my flaws was a terrible idea.

I'd be fine. It would pass.

Todoroki and I were paired on a math exercise that afternoon and, after some staring, I made the connection.

"Am I insane," I started, keeping my voice low in case it was a secret, "Or was Endeavor looking for you the day after the entrance exam?" For once, Todoroki's eyes showed something other than indifference; anger.

"He was what?"

"Oh, he just asked if I'd seen someone who matched your description to a T." I explained hurriedly, regretting bringing it up at all, "Sorry, I just made the connection now."

"Really?" He seemed confused for a moment, "So are you saying you don't know he's my father?"

I let my mouth form an o.

"That seems like something I should have guessed." I said, "Wow, I'm slow."

"No, it's actually a relief not to be first seen as my father's son." He said, seeming serene, "I'm glad he didn't find me that day."

Glad?

His father had been searching for him and he was glad he hadn't been found? That made it past the numbness barrier.

"Really?" I asked, knowing it was probably prying, but needing an explanation. Todoroki's expression darkened.

"Yes, really. I hate my father. He tried to get me in without taking the exam at all, but I told him I'd get in on my own. He must have come to watch me fail."

"I'm sorry to hear that." I told him, only understanding slightly better, "Well I don't know much about him, but you're certainly nicer." I provided a grin. Todoroki never said much, but he was always strictly polite. I'd never seen him be rude or get heated at all. He blinked at me, somewhat taken aback. I had a feeling people tended to side with the big shot hero in this rivalry.

He bowed his head.

"I'm truly sorry you had to deal with him at all."

I laughed, and we finished up our assignment. The final bell rang and I smiled down at my desk. I felt a bit better. I'd pick Moe up in an hour, distract myself with homework, and get a good night's sleep. Tomorrow was another day.

"Manderly." Any calm I'd persuaded into my mind dried up when I heard our homeroom teacher's voice behind me as I stepped out into the hallway. I reminded myself that he was being a good teacher, and that all his advice was wickedly smart and never petty.

"Yes, sir!" I responded, bright and respectful. He was standing just outside the classroom, leering at me with his tired eyes.

"Would you mind staying behind for a few minutes?"

I was in trouble.

Or maybe he wanted me to talk to the others about something. Organize a classroom cleaning schedule, or behave for a substitute .

"Not at all." I followed him back into the classroom and I dropped my backpack on a random desk; it was heavy with books. He leaned against his desk with a sigh.

"Am I right in assuming you never received any quirk counseling?"

Well, I wasn't expecting that.

"Oh." I said, surprised, possibly relieved, and still wary, "My school was small and the PE teacher offered counseling but very few kids developed quirks where I grew up. I'm a late bloomer too, so…" I got to the point, "You're right, sir. Um, sorry. I can look into it if you like."

"No need to apologize, it's not your fault." He dismissed, "What about outside of formal counseling? Did you talk about your quirk with friends or family? Test your limits?"

I stared at my shoes and decided to be honest. He sounded like he really wanted to help.

"No, sir. Actually… I didn't really tell anyone when I first developed my quirk. Eventually someone noticed and it just became public knowledge, but, um, when I reach my limit I'll get exhausted or it'll just stop working, so I don't usually push beyond that."

"I see."

A few seconds of silence passed. I squirmed.

"I'd like you to attend quirk counseling with me after school from now on." He said finally, meeting my eyes seriously, "You're clearly talented and full of potential, it would be a disservice to let you continue blindly."

"Oh, sure." I said, startled at this words. Clearly talented? "Whatever you think is best, professor."

"Alright then, it's settled." He glanced at the sling, "How's the arm?"

"Oh, totally fine!" I said quickly, "You were right earlier about grabbing that column, I was acting on instinct instead of using my head. The nurse popped it right back, and the pain should finish fading by the end of the week."

"You should go back to Recovery Girl and get her to heal it, you wouldn't want to fall behind on any of the week's physical classes, and at this hour you don't have to worry about falling asleep." I hadn't thought about that. I also had the budding realization that he was even more observant than he let on.

"That's a great idea, I'll do that." I turned to the door.

"Where do you think you're going?" Deja vu?

"…pardon?"

"We have our first session of quirk counseling now. Sit down."

Quick TLDR for anyone who wanted to skip this chapter:

Juniper attempts to rationalize her feelings away, has friendly encounters with Asui and Todoroki, and is instructed by her homeroom teacher to begin Quirk Counseling.